What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

Funny how my views differ from the fuckleeched fuckheaded fuckponies in Washington.

Funny how the repeated protests, marches, polls, and speeches telling the Beltway Class that We the People did not and still do not want what Obama and the Democrats are selling are ignored.

Funny how repeated mentions that ignoring the will of the people have been ignored by Our Betters.

And funny how our warnings to the elected class that ignoring us will lead to their electoral doom, how vocal we have been and will continue to be, and how their fortunes continue to sink, they dig in and ramp up the assholia to 11.

That’s right, Beltway Class, here is what I have to say to you since you feel compelled to ignore us:

Well, that, and then this:

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you forever and November for fucking ignoring us. Fuck you for bribing and conniving to pass the legislative version of a fuckfilled fortnight of unsolicited prison goatse and on the American People that we do not fucking want. Fuck you for telling us we do not matter, and that you will do what the fucking fuckity fuck you fucking the feral fuckgash of fuckitude want regardless of what you say. And fuck you and your arrogance 30 cent crackwhore at the rest stop of the fuckfreeway of fucking failure style for fucking thumbing your fucking nose at those of us who decide your fate, and calling us bigots if we oppose you.

Well, fuck that. Fuck you and your refusal to acknowledge that you have blatantly ignored overwhelming evidence that your plans and policies are in opposition to a majority of voters, the same ones who you seem to blithely ignore as you march to lame duck lunacy and the vile slush produced by ceaseless foul, icy fuckrain and historical ignomony. Fuck you for your surrender to greed, arrogance and idiocy which began with mere legislative indulgence and has led by a noticeable degradation of your being to self-indulgence and gleefully fucking the public trust as if it were Lawrence, KS and you were Quantrill’s Raiders.  And fuck you because of what all of what you have done has led to and will lead to the weakening of our country and our future.

That’s right, Your Foul Fuckulences from the Fiefdom of Fuckzuzustan, if you believe that saddling our children and grandchildren with more debt and weakness than they will ever be able to pay off, and that we will merely ask for more, you have another fucking thing coming. You think that ruining the future of the little girl I watched sleep at the foot of her dresser so that she could be closer to her new pet snails and then drew a picture for them is a groovy idea, then you better be prepared to be called “ex-Congressman” very soon. I owe it to my daughter and her future to do all I can to see you are legislatively and legally replaced by those who will do no harm and allow us to achieve all we can achieve without you and your agenda of fail to fuck it up.

So get fucked, Beltway Class. You have sat here too long for any good, and more to our detriment. Get the fuck out, fuck off, and depart in November. In the name of our future, go!


  1. Eddie, I do wish you could learn to say what you mean.

  2. I’d love to see Eddie’s blood pressure when he’s typing.

  3. Oh look.

    Eddie said “fuck”.

  4. I want Eddiebear to have my babies!

  5. Hostages field trip to DC:

  6. Pupster got into the medicine cabinet again


  7. Isn’t diversity grand?

  8. School daze for little eddie:

  9. From last thread:

    1st stage is over, when the back spasms subside I will begin stage 2.

    Scott, do you wear a back brace? We have moved a number of times over the years, and I have noticed that the movers now all seem to wear back braces. Makes sense to me. That is a pretty brutal job, and back muscles are a rather intricate mechanism.

    By the way, if you have Windows Vista or later, after you start in Safe Mode and run a virus scan, you can go to Control Panel/Administrative Tools/Reliability and Performance Monitor/Reliability Monitor. It’s a great tool to help you figure out what the heck is going on with your pooter. There might be something similar in XP, but I don’t really know that for sure.

  10. Well done, sir.

    It’s like a symphony, only with “fuck” as all the instruments.

  11. From last thread:

    It’s the felines that won’t let me sleep past 7.

    Leon, I headed this problem off from day one with a new cat. She didn’t get fed until at least an hour after I got up. She was pretty much fooled into not associating waking me with getting fed instantly.

    Good morning!

  12. I mention the Reliability and Performance monitor because I have spent many hours trying to diagnose what the fuck is wrong with my system and restore it by trial and error, without realizing that this monitor existed.

  13. Andy McCarthy, writing on what he knows best: http://article.nationalreview.com/438932/its-about-sharia/andrew-c-mccarthy

  14. Thanks, I will check that out if it isn’t dead.

    I am not sold on those braces. I really don’t think they do anything other than to remind you how to lift.

    I don’t do a lot of heavy lifting, my injuries are from working in odd positions, and many many trips up and down a step ladder.

  15. Michael, go to snapfiles and download a free program called “Advanced System Care”

    It’s a great lttle freebie that can correct many everyday computer problems.

    One of its best features is a function called system file checker under the tuneup then security tab.

    You simply pop in your windows installation disc, close out the installation disc window after it opens but leave the disc in the drive, then run this function.

    It will in turn find missing/damaged parts of your operating system , grab them from your disc and fix them.

    It’s not an end all for all problems but it woks pretty darn well.

    Also as I read about your virus problems I wondered what antivirus/firewall you’re using. We use Norton’s 360 on all our computers and seldom if ever have problems like you guys are having.

  16. I mean, I felt like a total fool when I finally hired someone to fix the graphics driver because I couldn’t seem to do so, and he told me the driver was fine but my monitor was bad.

    It never occurred to me that my monitor could be broke. I just assumed the problem was in the software somewhere.

  17. Or you can just go to Iobit’s webpage to download it.

  18. Thanks, Clintbird. I’ll check that out.

  19. Michael – Would you please email me? I have some questions for you.

  20. *testosterone levels dangerously low*

  21. Why, Dave?

  22. >> *testosterone levels dangerously low*

    Watch this twice and call me in the morning.


  23. Morning! Thanks for letting me catch up on some sleep!

  24. Check your email while you’re at it, Michael.

  25. Cyn, how about some coffee. And some bacon while you’re up.

  26. Hey Xbrad:

  27. whew. Ok, I watched it.

    Hey Andy, how YOU doin?

  28. HAhahahah, Cyn, I love you.

    That’s why I’ll kill you last.

  29. Awwww!

    *gets bacon griddle down from laundry room shelf and plugs it in*

  30. *untangles fingers

  31. Just so you morons know, Cyn makes the best bacon in the world. And looks good doin’ it.

  32. Oh shadup, Brad!

    *slips on bacon-cooking-heels, frilly apron, throws hair up with a clippy, clips on pearls*


  33. Hostage Want Ad:

    I’d really like a big, sugar-topped, warm blueberry muffin this morning. Will trade for bacon.

  34. Cynabun – I had a cinnamon bun for breakfast.

  35. That sounds yummy Chief! All warm and melty? Awesome.

    It’s a tradition at my house to make those every Christmas morning. The night before, the boys always ask what time they will be ready and do we have enough milk!

  36. I grieve for those of y’all who don’t live in the land of 10,000 mexican women. I had a bacon, egg, bean, and cheese buritto this morning with a healthy dose of extremely hot salsa on it. It was so good I wanted to suck it’s daddy’s dick afterwards.

  37. I hate breakfast burritos.

    I like my breakfast on a damn plate.

  38. *secretly hangs scented pine tree on the back of PG’s shirt to save us all from the horrors of later*

  39. *Hits PG over the head with a shovel!*

    Snap out of it, man!

  40. cyn, I’m a first thing in the morning defacator. You’ve got nuthin to worry about…….until tomorrow.

  41. I like my breakfast on a damn plate.


  42. Ifn you want the bestest breakfast burrito in the world, Taqueria #3 is the place to be.

    Of course, “taqueria” sounds like something you’d get from eatin bad Mexican food.

    Hey Scott, did y’all eat bad Mexican food last night?

  43. We had gluten-free waffles for breakfast – and, no, we’re not health nuts; Rebecca and I have Celiac Disease, and Hubs found out he is gluten-sensitive.

    I think most people are sensitive to it, moreso as they get older and the gut lining loses its youthful regenerative properties. I do a lot better when I just skip wheat altogether. Oh, and corn… rice… oats… pretty much just grains in general.

    Leon, I headed this problem off from day one with a new cat. She didn’t get fed until at least an hour after I got up. She was pretty much fooled into not associating waking me with getting fed instantly.

    Clever, but I leave the house about 20 minutes after I get out of bed these days, so I’m not sure if it’d be practical for me.

  44. Nope. Craving some though.

  45. RACIST!!!

    I used to practically live on steak and eggs from my favorite Messican restaurant. And I like a good burrito. Just not for breakfast.

  46. “taqueria” roughly translates to:
    taint of a bug infested ferrell cat,

  47. So lefties apparently still get their panties in a bunch when someone tells the truth:

  48. What’s your point, clintbird? Are you saying that you’re better than us cause you eat the taint of well groomed domestic cats?


  49. Huevos rancheros and a grilled strip.

  50. “Are you saying that you’re better than us cause you eat the taint of well groomed domestic cats?”

    Only! And at that, the tenderloin part!!!

  51. Scrambled eggs with velveeta cheese and bacon chunks, with hasbrowns, biscuits and gravy on the side.

  52. Y’all are making me hungry.

  53. Not bad, cyn. Not bad at all. In my house growing up there was no cheese other than Velveeta. I’ve sense become more of a colby/cheddar/pepperjack kind of a guy.

  54. Ummmmmm, cheese!
    Bleu and all cousins thereof.

  55. Ya know……I debated whether to go with sense or since and for some reason it seemed like since was wrong. Now I realise that I look like a dumbfuck. I think I’m gonna go walk a coupla miles and get the blood flowing. This is knot an exceptable misuse of homonyms.

  56. This is knot an exceptable misuse of homonyms.

    HAHA! Hostage writing at its finest!

  57. Tillamook cheddar. Best cheese on the planet.

    Velveta isn’t cheese. It’s awesomesauce.

  58. “This is knot an exceptable misuse of homonyms”

    PG has been misusing teh gheys?

  59. Is it Extra Sharp like we lurve it, XB?

  60. Okay, I’ve been up for well more than 5 hours and have so far accomplished only watering flower/plant beds and deck plants.

    All in all, a pretty pleasant Saturday.

    Must go and actually accomplish a few things now.


  61. You bet, Clint. I was really disappointed that when I was in Tillamook, I only had time to visit either the cheese factory or the air museum. I figgered, I can always buy the cheese, but only get one shot at the museum. Plus, there was a HUGE crowd at the factory.

  62. XB, if you ever get to Kansas City area, be sure to find your way to the Country Club Plaza and find a store called Better Cheddar.

  63. Better Cheddar than what?

    Seriously, next time I’m in the KC area, I’m gonna be looking more for BBQ and steak. But cheddar on a steak ain’t bad.

  64. hmmm… pool?


  65. Three eggs, scrambled, with four cut up sausage links, and cheese with dill.


  66. Famunda cheese is what xBrad prefers!

  67. Funny punchline at the very end:

  68. OK, you guys made me hungry. I’m going to try out my new bacon press with thick-sliced applewood smoked bacon from an actual butcher.

  69. There is no freaking way that I didn’t get an “A” on my final! I never even cracked open a book. It was all from his lectures, thank God because I spent the night with the hostages.


  70. Pool party at Dave’s!!


  71. Daughter # 2 made the mistake of asking me why I thought the picture of the crying kid getting arrested at the Arizona rally was so funny. Um, where do I start?

    She’s really going to be sorry she asked that – I wrote her a VERY long response, and basically took out all of my frustrations with this administration’s overreach.

    I bet she won’t ask me questions like that again……

  72. Clintbird’s only in KC?

    Lunch was a bacon burger==yum!

  73. Great news, PJ! I was wondering what time your test was. Congrats! Did you wear the pink assless chaps?

  74. Lipstick–I have found that adding pepper during the cooking process of bacon is full of win. Applewood is yummy!

  75. “I thought the picture of the crying kid getting arrested at the Arizona rally was so funny. Um, where do I start?”


    I don’t know if this is offensive to you or not, but you’re definitely hostage material

  76. Peej, you’ve missed the obvious downside: you bought the book.

  77. Well, I didn’t wear the chaps, but I did shower for the first time in a week, so there’s that.

  78. Why you gotta hurt me like that Leon?

    *cuts self

  79. That was hilarious CB!!

  80. PJ (note the riding crop)?


  81. I have awookuned.
    Please griddle me up some corned beef hash so it’s crispy on the bottom, top it with a couple eggs fried over-easy, drop a piece of buttered rye toast on the plate and back off carefully while avoiding eye contact.

    I’ll thank you later, when it’s safer.

  82. Why you gotta hurt me like that Leon?

    In true Hostage tradition, I had to find some way to undercut your moment of triumph. I didn’t want to, I had to.

    Forgive me.

  83. HAHA great pic b-rad. I think the crop adds something special

  84. Making this again, just started the marinade. One of my new favorites.

  85. Sorry I was asleep on the old thread

    you gotta love this

  86. *puts Hershey’s Kiss on plate with perfectly prepared order, slides carefully in front of Lauraw, places frew-brewed cup of Kenya AA blend, mixed with half and half and a packet of sugar next to plate, quitely tiptoes out*

  87. Vmax, I saw that. One of the things I often had to do with new recruits was set up a bank account for them. Lots of them had never had one. I had to establish a relationship with a bank that was willing to open an account with a $0 balance pending the recruit’s first pay.

    Met and dated a very cute chick who worked in the bank.

  88. One of the things I often had to do with new recruits was set up a bank account for them. Lots of them had never had one.

    This boggles my mind. I’ve had a bank account since the age of 5.

  89. Leon, I met guys that live 6 blocks from Illinois and had never crossed the state line. It was surreal.

  90. Chief, I replied to your gmail address.

  91. I still have about a quarter of a trailer full of mulch.

    Will. It. Never. End.

  92. Leon, that recipe looks good. I’ll see if I can sneak it into the schedule.

  93. You can use that recipe just as soon as you finish spreading mulch.

  94. Leon,

    Please explain Primal Blueprint in small words that dogs could understand.

  95. Totally appropriate behavior leon, my apologies

  96. Gentlemen, go read Drew’s post on baseball.

  97. http://tinyurl.com/alesbe

  98. Count is carting me off to the Casino in Louisiana 1/2 way there now *here blow on this*

  99. It’s a long walk back, Sohos.

  100. Hostages’ psychological report as prepared by PJM finally revealed:

  101. Well hopefully I won’t be footing it

  102. places frew-brewed cup of Kenya AA blend,


    *uses spoon to fish the dead, damp frew from the coffee cup and wraps it in a napkin*

    *stifles a small amount of vomit, swallows hard*

    Thanks…BiW…gonna…(cough)…wrap it up….and..(urk!)…save this scrumptious breakfast for later…

  103. Pupster, it’s not complicated. The unifying idea is that for most of human history, only certain things were available as foods. Prior to about 100000 years ago, if you had to cook it, you couldn’t eat it, because we hadn’t mastered fire. Prior to about 12000 years ago, you couldn’t have any grain, because most of those plants were still just grasses with big-ish seedpods. Prior to the industrial revolution, you couldn’t have had any seed oils or grain-derived syrups, because the machinery wasn’t around yet.

    All of that adds up to human evolution having almost no time to adapt to a lot of the modern diet: grains, seed oil, and processed foods in general. The Primal Blueprint is one author’s attempt (there have been others) to lay out what a pre-technology human would have eaten: meat, vegetables, fruits (seasonally), nuts, and seeds. He also includes a fair amount on the activity levels/exercise we think pre-agricultural humans regularly engaged in, based on what we see in modern hunter-gatherers.

    Mark hedges on dairy — I think rightly — because it’s still basically an animal-derived food, though most adherents stick to fermented dairy rather than straight milk, because it’s more digestible. I still eat small amounts of cheese, yogurt, and butter, for instance.

  104. I’m pretty sure Sohos could hitch a ride if she had to.

  105. I apologize pre-emptively for the wall of text.

  106. Thanks xbrad!

  107. I filled this in the same who-gives-a-shit folder as stories about Chelsea’s wedding or Lindsey’s jail stay:

  108. Pupster, if you’re really interested after reading that crap I just wrote, here’s the short version.

  109. I was a bit surprised at the number of hitchhikers on the 101. Apparently, all the homeless people just migrate back and forth on the highway. But a surprising number of locals also just stick out a thumb.

    I didn’t pick any up because 1- my car was pretty damn full; and 2- I didn’t feel like being featured on Forensic Files.

  110. Leon, somewhere I have a nifty article about making homemade butter that tastes better than what we usually enjoy.
    The key is to ferment the cream briefly before churning. Apparently if you add yogurt or some other starter to it for a day or two at a warmish temp, the resulting butter is supposed to be out of this world.

    I think its some kind of Fronch method.

  111. “you’re definitely hostage material…”

    You like me! You really, really like me!

    I’m honored……

  112. *puts on face mask and full body armor
    *throws lauraw some tranquilizers and some sorta food found under stove during move, might actually be a potholder or even a spatula

  113. Laura, I’ll have to look that up. I’m slowly transitioning over to grassfed butter, but I wouldn’t mind trying that too.

  114. “You like me! You really, really like me!”

    Yeah, sorry bout that
    A little bit of penicillin will fix that right up

  115. Headed to the basement to pop tiles. BBL.

  116. Grassfed butter is great, but I don’t understand why they don’t sell it salted. Don’t like it w/out salt

  117. PJM, you can get kerrygold (ganted, it’s imported from Ireland) salted. I prefer it without so I can adjust the saltiness of a recipe better, but that’s me.

  118. Beaumont texas woohoo

  119. I’m back.

  120. I am driving through Vidor texas which is one of the most racist towns in this Country

  121. I hope Snowshoe isn’t texting while driving.

    That’s a beatin’

  122. Count is driving I am relaxing

  123. SoHoS – You went without me???

  124. LauraW – You feeling better today?

  125. You linch 6 dozen bruthas, 5 dozen of them who may have even needed it, and you get a bad rep 4evah. That shit just ain’t right.

  126. Mulch.

  127. Shedd Spread. Cmon…..

  128. Compost.

  129. I keep thinking it’s gonna rain, and I’m gonna have to stop.

    But. It doesn’t.

  130. Count and I dstopped and tied one on in Vidor

  131. I added stuff to my compost pile too.

    Gotta weed as I go along with my mulch.

    And move plants …


    I keep thinking I should move ALL most hostas and replace them with daylillies. I can pull ALL my daylilies from everywhere, and put them in one spot …


  132. Every time LauraW comments, I hear this in my head:


  133. Count and I stopped and tied me up in Vidor.



  134. She is out again MCPO.

  135. Count and I dstopped and tied one on in Vidor

    **checks hostage code book….gives count an imaginary high five…..breaks one of the ten commandments**

  136. CBS Chief, D.A. Points is about to shoot a 59.

  137. I am now in lousyanna

  138. Sohos, where ya going?

  139. A casino called Lauberge du Lac its awesome

  140. 40th birthday surprise I had no idea we were going

  141. SoHoS – But your 40th birthday isn’t for another two years!!?!

  142. Spanks Leon.

  143. Scott, has her fever broken yet? Poor baby. Hope she feels better soon.

  144. I know that is why it is such a surprise

  145. Not yet PA. She is all bundled up in layers, on a heating pad ,and in a room that is about 90 degrees.

  146. Ok I am at casino I will check in later

  147. Did you plug her in, Scott? Try plugging her in.

  148. Make sure she’s getting enough liquids, Scottw, even popsicles; with that fever, she’ll need them.

  149. POPSICLES!!!!

    Cherry please!

  150. Gatorade is good too to keep the electrolytes in balance. I’ve even made those into popsicles–orange is my favorite.

    *hands cherry twin-pop to MCPO*

  151. That’s fucking brilliant Mesa. I want to download that as a ringtone even.

  152. Mmm-mmm-mmm!

    Thanks, Cyn!

  153. Would you finish my work report for me MCPO, since I’ve given you sumpin-sumpin now? That’d be greaaaat.

  154. And don’t forget to use the new cover sheet.

  155. Cyn – Sure. Should it start with, “Once upon a time. . .” or, “Check this shit out. . .”

  156. HAHAHA! Andy FTW!

  157. Heh, Accuweather’s description of the weather today:

    Feels Like: 102°


  158. The latter Chief, and don’t forget to quote one of the involved parties who said, “Here; hold my beer.”

  159. That’s my stapler…

  160. I can’t stop giggling at that Auto-Tune—HAHAHA!

  161. Here ya go. . .


  162. The original version is pretty funny, it was a natural for the auto-tune.

  163. Mesa?


  164. B-rad — that was pretty high tech back in the eighties.

  165. HUC — heads up claymore.

    Super Secret.

  166. Now look who’s doing the jobs Americans won’t do — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_gxLKSsSIE

  167. I like that he actually had the thing hooked up — would be the first thing that anyone would complain about who saw that picture.

  168. Cyn, for your phone — http://kiwi6.com/uploads/hotlink?id=sx8k464x26

  169. @ mesa @ 4:04:
    Oh, yeah, well, I bet it cannot make good sausage gravy!

  170. Yeah, but did he us the test device first?

  171. us= use.

    But you knew that.

  172. Now look who’s doing the jobs Americans won’t do —


  173. It’s the end of the world as we know it — http://cdn03.cdn.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/0727-jersey-shore-nyse-00.jpg

  174. Heh. Poor muslim bastards get covered in ham slices…

  175. Now look who’s doing the jobs Americans won’t do —



  176. Thanks for the linky Mesa :-)

  177. Carin!!!!

    I ran today, well, intervals, with my Vibrams. I LOVED IT!!!! I felt like a kid again, running sprints across a grassy field.

  178. “Every time LauraW comments, I hear this in my head:


    hahahahahaha…good one, MCPO.

  179. Ohmyheck! My kids have discovered my high school yearbook. I was a card carrying member of “The Earth Society”
    I’m even quoted in their talking about our environment.

    Graham is having a field day with this.

  180. B-rad, found a chick for you — http://i.imgur.com/yAJeE.jpg

  181. That reminds me of when my oldest was little, she use to say, “I was just thinking in my head that….”

  182. I’m even quoted in their talking about our environment.

    You even spell like a hippie.


    The Earth Society….hahahahahahahaha

    We’re already members, young PJM.

  184. Typical Yankee jerkoff


  185. It’s cool, I’m thinking about joining the Mars Society.

  186. PJM – How goes the move??

    Tell Graham I said to, “Turn to and bear a hand!”

  187. ran today, well, intervals, with my Vibrams. I LOVED IT!!!! I felt like a kid again, running sprints across a grassy field.


    I’m ’bout ready to go for a run.

    [I’m running away from that damn mulch is what i’m going]

  188. Spreading mulch is good exercise too.

  189. Mulch fight!!!

  190. Spreading mulch is good exercise too.

    So is pulling up a floor. Tack strips nailed through tile into concrete for a carpet I had to throw out a year ago after the flood. Fun.

  191. You even spell like a hippie.

    ooops, “there” stupid iphone spells for me sometimes and I can’t see anything because of this tiny little crack I have on the face of my phone.


    I’m cringing.

    Mcpo, it’s great, cept I wanna knock pjd out right now cuz he’s all cranky and schtuff.

  192. Hey PJ!!!


    Does it matter if they were grown in human feces in China and then frozen? cuz if not, I’m down. Nothing like fresh frozen veggies from the 99 cent store.

  193. Weeding the flowerbeds is good exercise as well.

    (I originally typed wedding…Typo of Significance???)

  194. (I originally typed wedding…Typo of Significance???)


    I’m all melty melty

  195. crap, pjd’s here, can’t get caught at the hostages


  196. Leon, that sounds like the opposite of fun.

  197. Do a lot of our vegetables come from China?

  198. ok, it’s 3:46 here. I should probably actually eat lunch.

  199. Mare, it was. It was exercise, though.

  200. Do a lot of our vegetables come from China?


  201. Lunch today is Kraft Mac and Cheese.

  202. Only at the dollar store mare. I learned my lesson $30 later when I brought home frozen fruit for smoothies and saw the look of horror on my mom’s face

  203. PJM – Are you posting Pictures on FaceChimpDoucheBathSting??

  204. No

  205. The house is a disaster

  206. The house is a disaster

    Any house with 4 kids is kinda guaranteed to be something of a wreck.

  207. True, plus my 10 year old nephew has been with us the last couple days cuz lou is in Vegas.

    In addition to the 19 year old nephew

  208. I get knocked down
    but i get up again

    they’re never gonna keep me down

    I get knocked down
    but I genpv q8y9dtrfyugiocmqtp'[[[[[[[[[[qx>


  209. New post for people that like clean hookers.

    People that like their hookers riddles with crippling STDs stay on this thread. STAY!!

  210. Hi Laura — hope you’re feeling better.

  211. Getting knocked down beats the hell out of getting knocked up.

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