Saturday – let’s be careful out there

It’s been a heckuva week.

Vmax?

XBrad?

Uniball?

Pajama Momma?

Mrs. Peel?

Y’all take it easy and have a good weekend.

Oh, and for Andy.

*

[UPDATE: Rosetta]

*

283 Comments

  1. FIRTS!

  2. Mornin’ all.

    I love, Love, LOVE that song, Roamy. Thanks.

  3. Wakey wakey.

    Poor ducky. :((

  4. We’re planning to do some house-shopping drive-bys this afternoon. Wifeperson is all enthusiastic and whatnot. Me? Less so. I hate shopping for anything. That hate expands with price tag.

  5. Legion was good. Watched it last night. Two Rosetta-bald-heads up.

  6. WTF, rotten toms gave it horrible reviews. Fuck them. I liked it.

  7. Plus, OMG yum.

    He’s gonna have to do a HHD appearance.

  8. I didn’t even know who he was. Has he been in anything else?

  9. I’ve heard his name, no idea if I’ve seen him in movies.

  10. He was in some comedy with Kirsten Dunst and also in A Beautiful Mind.

  11. Dur. He was in Master and Commander, too.

  12. I don’t watch many comedies, and haven’t seen M&C either, so I may not have seen him in anything.

  13. He’s gonna have to do a HHD appearance.

    Duly noted.

  14. Looked it up. The comedy was “Wimbledon”.

  15. Good morning hot chicks!

    Car In, I thought Legion looked good but the reviews were ugly. I shall check it out since you likee.

    Can you compare it to another movie? Is it horror or thriller?

  16. Me love you long time, Roamy.

  17. Anybody else having DNS problems with WordPress?

    It’s a bad sign when the mothership is more reliable than this POS.

  18. stop yelling so loud!

    faaaack

  19. Worky worky!

  20. It is sorta horror. Throw in thriller. I mean, there is some yuck in it, but not slasher type. Think … Warlock genre.

  21. MORNING DAVE!!!!!

    * turns amplifier up to 11 *

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrCw8po7JKo

  22. Master and Commander was the first time I saw him. He’s also married to Jennifer Connally. Yep, here she is: https://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/jennifer_connelly_horse1.gif

  23. From the previews, it looked like a more action-y “The Prophecy”, sans Walken and Mortensen.

  24. Leon, I unreservedly recommend Master and Commander.

  25. I’ve heard good things, just haven’t gotten around to it.

  26. Hey Rosetta … can I borrow that pitchfork?

    http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=ODI1ZWZkYjRmODg5NDhjNmJlN2NjMjI0MmFjODgwYmQ=

  27. Watching MSNBC do the post-mortem on the elections last week is hilarious.

    Of course it was THE WORST WEEK EVER for Republicans but some talking head dunce just said that, not only was it bad for the GOP because they lost Murtha’s district, it’s also not a good sign that Specter lost because he used to be a Republican.

    Hahahahahaha.

    http://tinyurl.com/2fk5ukc

  28. Next time I am going to take a dump in your convertible Andrew

  29. I reeeeeally want to put this in the header, but I don’t know how to shrink it.

  30. Hey Rosetta … can I borrow that pitchfork?

    http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=ODI1ZWZkYjRmODg5NDhjNmJlN2NjMjI0MmFjODgwYmQ=

    Um…uh….well…um…

    http://tinyurl.com/yb6ghva

  31. I gave this post a thumbs up because it has my name in it.

  32. HA! Twins!

  33. *tackles pajama momma, gives her “a thumbs up”*

  34. Hahahaha. I should have known Rosetta didn’t link to MSDNC.

  35. Great Steyn article there, Andy.

  36. https://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/brothers.jpg

    Hahahahahahaha. That’s good.

  37. Did you guys click on my link?

    DID YOU!?!?!?!

    DID YOU?!?!?!?

    I know you didn’t listen to the song I posted yesterday rosetta

    http://videosift.com/video/Moto-Moto-I-like-em-big-i-like-em-chunky

  38. Jihadists, capturing the World’s Imagination since 2001!

    I’m gonna make that my header.

  39. * heads to James Bond accessories shop to buy BallTaser(r) brand car ejection seat *

  40. STFU PJ

  41. Oh, there’s dave feeling froggy again

    *slaps dave in the face 3 times, pulls his hair and pokes him in the eyes
    *makes these sounds

  42. *waves arm in front of PJs face, makes fist, hits it with my other fist so it swings and hits me in the head*

    OHHHH

  43. Dave didn’t drink two big glasses of water last night before he went to bed.

    tsk tsk.

  44. It’s interesting that the idiots on the left aren’t in high dudgeon due to the all powerful gubmit’s inability to stop the oil leak and protect almighty Gaia.

    And by “interesting” I mean “predictable”.

  45. it was two big glasses of somethin

  46. I know you didn’t listen to the song I posted yesterday rosetta

    What song are you talking about?

  47. This one was way worse. The environmental damage in Texas is so non-existent bad today I keep growing a foot out of my head.

    http://minx.cc/?post=301168

  48. What song are you talking about?

    I need another cup of coffee before I can deal with hostage humor today

    *kicks rosetta in……crap there’s nothing there

  49. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Tiffany said…

    This happens to me, literally on a monthly basis.
    May 21, 2010 11:07 AM

  50. *snuffs a chicken*

  51. MUTHER EFFER!!! YOU GOT MY LAST LIVING EGG LAYER!!!

    You’ll have to answer to gavin now.

    May God have mercy on your soul when the kraken awakens.

    I must take Graham to the Navy base now.

    I’ll be back for dave’s funeral arrangements

  52. HAHAHAHA… A FRYER!

    *grabs the last egg and some flour*

  53. [runs to count chickens]

  54. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

    THE CHEESE TRIANGLES DON’T GO LIKE THAT!!!

    Hahahahaha.

    + 190,000 points and a picture of pajama momma milking a goat in a bikini

  55. I didn’t know Graham was in the Navy.

  56. They grow up so fast.

  57. It’s the only way he can get any attention.

  58. Speaking of fried chicken, tomorrow night I will be eating the most delicious variety ever to cross a taste bud here: http://www.babeschicken.com/Babes-Chicken-Dinner-House-Roanoke.html

    Dave, you should drive up. I mean, it’s only a 4 hour or so round trip. Well worth it.

  59. ATTEN – SHUN ON DECK!!!

  60. It’s sad when people join the Navy to get away from sleeping in goat crap and chicken urine.

  61. From the ONT on Ace and the story about the tiny dog comes the best sentence ever.

    ‘In fact, when Spice stands up, Tom Thumb goes with her because his suck is so strong.’

  62. He’s joining to get away from me.

    Duh

  63. Dude, Sunday night?

    Damn, I don’t think I can make that one. Here on bidness this week?

    Roanoke is only 2 and a half hours from here.

  64. oh, you said round trip.. duh

    *dumps bourbon on the fresh chicken carcass*

  65. *shoots Dave with Kahlua cannon*

  66. *give Rosetta a fire-ant cleansing enema*

  67. Gentle ballad to help Dave’s throbbing head:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X80Qjh9Yivs&feature=related

  68. goddam you motherfuckers with the ACDC shit.

    I mean, Hi! Good morning! And isn’t it a lovely day?

  69. Dave, have you seen this?

    http://tinyurl.com/dgs3bw

  70. I’m pretty sure you’ll find this one comforting, Dave.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uebInqG1pJI&a=NHN4WQuXbXs&playnext_from=ML&shuffle=48

  71. I had not seen that Rosetta, but it reminded me of this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNqiSkd1M6k

  72. Yesterday was not only the 30th anniversary of the premiere of The Empire Strikes Back, it was also the 30th anniversary of the debut of Pac Man.

    May 21st, 1980 KICKED ASS!!!

  73. May 21, 1980.

    I think I was in jail.

    That sucked.

  74. Did you know that you can play the Pac Man Google thing?

    http://www.google.com/

    Click on the “Insert Coin” button.

  75. I’m not clicking on anything that has google on it.

    You shouldn’t either.

    And yes, I AM the boss of you.

  76. I didn’t play Pac Man for at least an hour yesterday.

    I swear.

  77. There’s been too much ass kickin’ around this joint, so here are some tips on how to avoid same:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8

  78. Like, watch this and like, learn some stuff and things.

    http://tinyurl.com/2fk5ukc

  79. Racist!

  80. Rosetta Graham is in the navy cadets

  81. “May 21, 1980”

    10 day anniversary of me getting laid for the first time.

  82. >> 10 day anniversary of me getting laid for the first time.

    Now there’s a coincidence.

    Were you ever arrested in Texas?

  83. No humans involved

    Doesn’t count scott

  84. 10 day anniversary of me getting laid for the first time.

    So you were in prison too?

  85. This graham?

  86. Funniest pool game evah!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEIUW5Rslrc&feature=player_embedded

  87. Rosetta Landscaping Service

    http://tinyurl.com/2eguvrg

  88. >> So you were in prison too?

    You snooze, you lose, Mr. Potatohead.

    *sets your socks on fire*

  89. This post has been updated like a muhfucka.

  90. Yep, there on bidness from through Thursday.

    Sunday: Babe’s
    Wednesday: Mexican with Michael

    That leaves Monday and Tuesday for BBQ

  91. Duh. From Sunday through Thursday.

  92. I shall ponder this with aplomb.

  93. Perfect site for Sean and Xbrad — http://www.conjugalharmony.com/

  94. This post has been update with a video of your mom assisting the ER doc getting the potato out of my ass.

  95. “So you were in prison too?”

    Nope. Grateful Dead concert + girlfriend + parents out of town = one of the greatest weekends ever.

  96. FATTIST!

  97. Incidentally, wasn’t she a BBF model, like last September?

    She looked familiar.

  98. Hahahahaha.

    Whoever edited my comment is a salad-tossing tranny.

  99. This poat smells of sweaty socks (but not Sox) and stale coffee.

  100. Legion was good. Watched it last night. Two Rosetta-bald-heads up. (Car in)

    Carin I swear we are polar opposites…We watched it last night and when the little old lady started climbing on the wall I started laughing and was like WTF? Watched the whole movie though to see where it went. Big stars in a movie that is weird at best and all around just sort of flat. I give it negative 4 bald heads.

    I still lurves you Carin

  101. This poat smells of moldy toast, runny eggs, and undercooked bacon.

    Moanin’, Hosefuckers.

  102. Fine. I show up, and all you fuckers go away. Fine. I didn’t want to talk to anyone this morning anyway. Bastages.

  103. glad to see you finally woke up at the crack of noon BiW. Welcome to Saturday.

  104. I woke up late b/c I could 🙂

  105. I got up just so I could enjoy crawling back into bed.

  106. I am still in bed about to crawl to tub

  107. Need help scrubbing your back?

    Front?

  108. glad to see you finally woke up at the crack of noon BiW. Welcome to Saturday.

    Only 9 here, and I happened to need the 10 hours sleep last night.

  109. Sohita! Hey, were you in a movie? I need to watch that.

  110. Someone let Rosetta write ad copy…

  111. No but Counts’ ex girlfriend is an actress and we watched one of her movies yesterday. She played in it with Cliff Claven hahahaha it was awesome!

  112. my movies are not for public viewing

  113. my movies are not for public viewing

    *scoots closer, puts chin on hand, blinks invitingly*

    Tell me MOAR, dear SoHoS…

  114. OH.

    Well then I withdraw any requests politely.

  115. I got my girfriend sooo snockered last night. This morning we had breakfast by the pond and then we took our loopy, spinning heads to Home Depot. At one point she bent over just a little to look at something on a shelf, got woozy and nearly fell over, she was so screwed up. We were laughing our asses off and being pests to the help. It was awesome.

    Of course, the golden rule of Home Depot is you never just go once. Need to go back and get the right doodads for the garden fence thingahoosie.

    How’s everybody this fine day?
    Mimosa? Bloody mary?

  116. Mimosa? Bloody mary?

    And here I was thinking “Desert Eagle and box of ammo”.

  117. >> got woozy and nearly fell over, she was so screwed up. We were laughing our asses off and being pests to the help. It was awesome.

    HAHAHAHA.. Next day drunkiness sucks.

    Unless it’s with the chicks.

    I cannot wait for July 18. The pain, it’ll be so good.

  118. and I’m already into Bloody Mary #2. I’m like that. V8 and Valurite.

  119. De pain will be so good that we will have zombie Tattoo wandering around saying “De paaaaaaain….deeee pppaaaaaiiiiiinnn!”

  120. Makes perfect sense — http://i.imgur.com/9NCB4.jpg

  121. Cold beer guy is dressed like I was, last time we were reasoning with that drunky boy who was fucking up his whole life like it was a mission or something.

  122. Makes perfect sense — http://i.imgur.com/9NCB4.jpg

    Hahahaha. Good one.

  123. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to learn that through the careful application of Appalachian engineering, Saran Wrap, and liberal use of duct tape, I’ve put a temporary patch on the failed air filter hose. It should last long enough to get a replacement part without getting the entire Mojave Desert in my engine block.

  124. Brad, just the other night you were saying “how do you tape dust”.

    Now I think you exaggerate. YEAH, PUNK.

  125. Dave, how fucking dare you remember what I wrote?!

    Seriously, I would have just waited for the part to come in, but I’ve got to be in the desert on Monday, and really didn’t want to go without SOME kind of protection.

  126. heh. Engines must be taken care of. I’m on your freq. 5 by 5.

  127. Whoah…

    Probably fake, though.

  128. ’tis but one of many little problems with the car. She’s old enough to drink, and having spent a lot of time in high ozone/hot temp areas out here, damn near all the rubber/plastic parts are incredibly fragile.

  129. Cold beer guy is dressed like I was, last time we were reasoning with that drunky boy who was fucking up his whole life like it was a mission or something.

    Yeah, but I was the cool one.

  130. >> Yeah, but I was the cool one.

    Fuck you I was cooler… I had a shiny tie.

    You were definitely the more intimidating one… I sensed you stepping in, in case a punch was thrown. I saw that tactical move.

  131. Hey xbrad have you used Sofia Vergara for load heat?

  132. Sohos, not yet. I gotta get around to watching an episode of Modern Family first.

    And I think I’ve got one girl I wanna use before her. But she’s definitely the type I’m looking for.

  133. O!M!G!

    http://tinyurl.com/29tefhz

  134. She is smoking hot xbrad….sick!

  135. She is that.

  136. And her face is much prettier than yesterday’s BBF and the frog you just linked.

  137. I’ll bet that little frog could never make it under the covers at the foot of your bed Sohos.

    Speaking of which, eldest called me on Thursday to tell me she got stung by a baby scorpion while she was sleeping, on herf hand as she brushed it off, while it was crawling over her.

    She’s fine.. using the blacklight thing now to sweep the room.

  138. herf

  139. Rosie, what color vomit are you spewing right now?

  140. Afternoon, Hostagefolks.

  141. Howdy Sky. AC fixed?

  142. Thankfully, yes, DinT. Had a tech out this morning. Something about overflowing somethingorothers. I didn’t pay attention. All I know is that it works now.

  143. Sohos, did PJM do that to that frog?

  144. AC is kinda important there in May, I get it. Glad to hear that goober.

  145. “AC is kinda important there in May, I get it.”

    And, meanwhile, all my friends back home are complaining that it’s snowing. Hah.

  146. Rosie, what color vomit are you spewing right now?

    This color:

    http://tinyurl.com/ycp4vv6

  147. hahahaha… fuckem I say.

    I mean, in a nice family way. You know.

  148. If it’s snowing when I fly out there next month, I am going to be so annoyed.

  149. Holy crap! Rosetta bought a motorcycle…

  150. Is that a horn in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?

    http://bit.ly/cPJwb1

  151. Ouch…

  152. Rosie — here’s the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1kxeL8713U

  153. Holy shit.

    That looked like it might have hurt.

  154. Every time my daughter has one of her friends over, I am reminded to be very, very grateful that both my children have attention spans larger than a gnat.

  155. JENGA!!!

  156. Running out of steam.
    Need a nap.

  157. I’m mulching. Sweating. Looking at the pool.

  158. Back from the store and soccer running around.

    Kitchen is clean, food/shit is put away.

    Just ate some blueberries with yogurt. Yum

    Soho – I love the genre (of Legion) so perhaps that makes me more inclined to like it? I dunno, but I did. Enjoyed it I did.

    Beefcake didn’t hurt at all.

  159. I’m barfing after watching that bullfight video.

  160. I would love to get in the garden today, but we’ve got on and off showers.

    So, looks like I’ll be heading to the gym in a little bit.

  161. Holy crap! I’m in so much pain my hands are shaking!

  162. You keep shit in your kitchen?

    I just flush it down the toilet.

  163. I thought I’d be in pain today after that 8 mile run yesterday, but I feel fine. Those barefoot running shoes are the best.

  164. Shit = non-food items I need to get at Costco.

  165. Clear skies coming your way, Carin..

  166. What’s hurting Chief?

  167. YEA!

  168. ‘Sup, Chief?

  169. Carin – Feels like someone kicked me, repeatedly, in my left kidney!

  170. I’ve been that close to a pissed off bull once in my life.

    I backed away slooooowly.

    After I did he went after a tree and fucked it all up.

    Once good choice I made in life.

    ONE

  171. OMG, that bull thing is too funny. Right over the top.

  172. YAHTZEE!!!

  173. Stone?

  174. If I go lie down, there’s a 45% chance I will wake up with a case of Stupidhead. HATE that.
    You know how they say never go food shopping when you’re hungry? Well, don’t go food shopping after waking up from a bad nap. You won’t buy food.

    Things you purchase when you’ve got Stupidhead::

    An extra- large container of salt
    A box of matches
    1gallon vinegar
    mayonnaise
    brass cleaner
    a pair of plastic salad tongs

  175. Carin – I hope not! I drink massive amounts of water after I passed two stones in 1982.

  176. MCPO,
    I know exactly what you mean, unfortunately. Waiting/hoping for some help from my friend, ibuprofen. Succeth, it surely does.

  177. I don’t nap.

    ever.

    I mean, only if I’m really, really sick.

    Even then, I hate napping.

  178. http://tinyurl.com/25vvymc

    SQUEEEEEEEEL!!!

  179. What is it, then?

  180. I prefer these.

  181. What is it, then?

    I’ll be damned if I know! Damnit JIm, I’m a cargo kicker, not a doctor!!

  182. Going swimming! See you hosefuckers in a while.

  183. What the difference between lauraw taking a nap and Jenna Jameson milking a retarded goat?

  184. I don’t nap either. It makes me really cranky, and I feel awful afterwards.

  185. Jenna wrote a book about it.

  186. Crap. I’m not done running around. I have to run and find a present for our neighbor’s kid.

  187. What the difference between lauraw taking a nap and Jenna Jameson milking a retarded goat?

    LauraW doesn’t look like an anorexic skank with 14 different STDs.

  188. Afternoon naps are one of the greatest pleasures in life. Just make sure they only last one REM cycle.

  189. […] H/T: Mesa in Texas, Elder of the Internets. […]

  190. LauraW doesn’t look like an anorexic skank with 14 different STDs.

    She doesn’t?

  191. It makes me really cranky, and I feel awful afterwards.

    Yep, and the rest of the day is usually a waste.

  192. there’s a 45% chance I will wake up with a case of Stupidhead. HATE that.

    HAHAHA. 100% chance I have one whether I nap or not.

    !))%

  193. Car In, what are you wearing right now?

  194. She doesn’t?

    Of course not! Here is her POL picture. . .

    http://tinyurl.com/cbjfpp

  195. Car In, what are you wearing right now?

    Rubber boots and a box I picked up at costco. You?

  196. Time for me to go do some crap so I’m not a complete useless tit today.

    Please do not rape the chickens while I’m gone.

  197. Please do not rape the chickens while I’m gone.

    Spoilsport!

  198. Rubber boots and a box I picked up at costo. You?

    A yellow t-shirt with a picture of you sleeping on it and a pair of orange jeans.

  199. What the difference between lauraw taking a nap and Jenna Jameson milking a retarded goat?

    After the nap, my hair still looks okay.

  200. after the nap the cops aren’t around asking nosy questions.

  201. After the nap, my hair still looks okay like a pissed off Medusa with a world-class case of PMS. – The Real LauraW

  202. What did you drink last night, Dumpty?

  203. – The Real LauraW

    ???
    What a very odd thing to type.

    “Sometimes I say weird shit.”
    -The Real Xbradtc

  204. Gin & Tonica, Rosetta dear.

  205. With a harmonica.

  206. “SometimesDamn near always I say weird shit.”
    -The Real Real Xbradtc

  207. Rape?

    DON’T JUDGE OUR LOVE!!1!!!

  208. Gin & tonic? What are you, 13?

  209. But don’t smoke marijuanica!

  210. They were delicious and refreshing. I get a little yen for them when the weather gets hot.

  211. *twists the lime like I know what I’m doing*

  212. We were dancing to disco music on the porch at 1 am. So, yeah, maybe I am 13 years old…

  213. If you’re 13 I’m, what *carries the one* 22.

    *kicks my knee into gettin with the new program, bitch*

    I can’t wait to set your house on fire, so we can roast Rosetta until he’s ready for dinner.

  214. They were delicious and refreshing. I get a little yen for them when the weather gets hot.

    I was just giving you shit for no reason. I used to love gin & tonics but since I started using club as my mixer I can’t handle the taste of tonic.

    It’s a great summer drink.

  215. >> I can’t handle the taste of tonic.

    What about coffee tonic, pussy?

  216. That whole vomiting and splitting headache thing keeps me off gin and tonics.

    But I can still drink a vodka-tonic.

  217. Ok, time to try productivity again. See you gorgeous broads and outrageous sexual tyrannosauruses later.

  218. time to mulch here too

  219. What about coffee tonic, pussy?

    I’m not talking about tequila you faggot.

  220. 13 y/olds drink Sloe Gin Fizzes.

    I lurv some G &Ts. That and cosmos (and mojitos) are pretty much the only alcoholic drink I ever consume.

    I’m usually a wino.

  221. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE …

    ok, yes you can. Dork.

  222. In my bartending dayz, I carded anyone who ordered any of the following:

    1)Sloe Gin Fizz
    2) Strawberry Daiquiri
    3) wine cooler

  223. so in other words, you carded pussies.

  224. Packing is this > < much fun.

    Hi everyone! And as wiserbud would say….screw you!

  225. BARTLES&JAMESIST!!!!

  226. (but I mean that in a nice way)

  227. Exactly.

  228. California Coolerist!

  229. HI MARE.

    Sorry for dicking with you the other day.

    Okaaaaay, I’m not sorry, but I am admitting.

  230. Where has Wiser been? Or has he merely been here when i’m off.

    Is he avoiding me?

  231. I’m not bitching, but my clothes are mostly too big for me.

    sigh.

    I mean, I’m happy about it, but I have nothing to wear.

  232. Coconut tits has been missing too.

    And, tats.

  233. If I keep up with it, my suits are gonna…

    shit. you can only take em in so much.. I forgot this last time.

    muthafucka.

  234. Hello again, Hostages.

  235. It’s a good problem to have, but it’s still a problem.

  236. Hey sky.

  237. yeah. I kissed away 3 I really liked, last time.

    crap

  238. Swimming is an awesome work out. I need to remember to do that more often.

  239. Is 4 o’clock too early to start drinking?

  240. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, Hotspur.

    So, no.

  241. Ember, are you going to get in the book group?

  242. Is is ever too early on a Saturday?

  243. I keep meaning to go buy one of the books for the book group.

    What are you guys reading right now?

  244. Donkey Oatey.

  245. I think they are reading Don Quixote or some such trash.

    I’m reading the Foundation series, don’t know how I ever missed reading it before.

  246. I haven’t slogged through that in years. Maybe I’ll pop by the local book store tomorrow and grab a copy. To add to my all ready growing list of shit to read.

    Oh, and, Mesa – thanks for House of Suns! *rewards with whiskey*

  247. 12 Emoticons for the Advanced Writer
    Have you ever been overcome with an emotion but unable to find the right emoticon to express yourself? The answer is yes. And I’m going to help you.

    *:0 = “MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!!!”

    !,! = “Hi. I am a rabbit”

    % = “I feel like I am a mosquito looking directly at you.”

    |:( = “I am displeased with my unibrow.”

    😦 = “Now my hat is upside-down and I don’t feel any better about it.”

    (::::) = “I feel like I am the underside of a pregnant dog.”

    :0& = “I LOVE PRETZELS!!!! NOM! NOM! NOM!”

    :*( = “You make me cry sparkly tears.”

    {:| = “I am a Frenchman.”

    Q:| = “I’m Davy fucking Crockett.”

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/12/11-emoticons-for-advanced-writer.html

  248. careful application of Appalachian engineering, Saran Wrap, and liberal use of duct tape, I’ve put a temporary patch on the failed air filter hose

    Now aren’t you glad I was here to give you that idea?

    You’re welcome!

  249. You … never read the Foundation series?

    *blink blink*

    I don’t even know how to respond to that. What kind of self-respecting nerd hasn’t read that?

  250. Ember, have you read Pandora’s Star?

  251. I read the robot stuff and a bunch of other stuff.

    But, I get to read it now…

  252. Yes, Hotspur. I’ve got quite a few Hamilton books.

  253. That and its sequel are freaky.

  254. House of Leaves was an interesting book for freaky-factor. Also, it was just kind of weird.

  255. I mean, how do you think up something like Morning Light Mountain?

  256. Hotspur, have you read Reynolds?

  257. No. I don’t know who Reynolds is.

  258. Go buy Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds. You’ll be hooked. Really brilliant hard sci fi.

  259. piders

  260. One of my favorite authors ever. I want more Reynolds all the time.

  261. I’ve never been that much into sci-fi. I listen to audiobooks all of the time, and my favorite narrator read both Pandora’s Star and Judas Unchained. I read the descriptions and thought I’d give them a try. I enjoyed them very much.

    I just added Revelation Space to my queue at audible.com.

    The last actual sci-fi book I “read” was A Canticle for Leibowitz. God I hated that book.

  262. Dave, it all started with you fooling me about a year ago on some issue (of which I can’t remember), you burned me. So from then on………I had my eye on you.

    I don’t take these things personally (should I?). But I go off line and some may interpret that as a response rather than me fixing dinner or going on a school run.

    You + me = cool

  263. So you and Dave are cool.

    Where’s that leave us? Huh?

    **plucks a chicken**

    (no chickens were choked in the making of this comment)

  264. As a kid, I inhaled sci-fi until about the mid-70s, when I was literally having trouble finding any titles that I had not already read. I remember buying books only to discover, after five pages, that I had already read and forgotten about it. So I quit around the time I went to high school, and just never got back into it. I’ve read Foundation, and all of Heinlein, Bradbury, Herbert, etc., but next to nothing that has been written in the last 30 years.

    I remember reading “A Wrinkle in Time” and thinking it was the most awesome book ever written.

    I know I’m probably missing some great stuff.

  265. By the way, I’m cooking chicken and bologna a la Cuffy right now. Thinks for the idea, sir.

  266. Smoked chubs — EVERYWHERE!!!

  267. MARE!!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/35e2637

  268. Rhythm and Blues??

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hEYwk0bypY

  269. Some of them cried about that. ..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TwEYuues6Y&feature=fvw

  270. I could have sworn Rythm and Blues was gonna be something about unintended pregnancy.

  271. I’m here off an on. Just a lurkin’.

  272. Michael, there’s been a lot of really amazing science fiction in the last few decades. You are certainly missing out.

  273. Apropos of nothing, Angie Harmon is so smokin’ hot.

  274. Nwe paot up reddy four ur abuse!

  275. Sky- I’m taking your book suggestion. I’ll let you know what I think about Mr. Reynolds’ writing once I find it and read it. (does it come in extra large font?)

  276. I don’t know that it comes in extra large font, Chief, sorry. I don’t check for that when I’m buying books, heh.

    I found him at an airport book store. When I’m in need, I always hit up the science fiction section and just buy whatever I haven’t read yet. I bought Revelation Space, flew home, finished the book, and went to the bookstore the next day and bought or special ordered everything else he had written. Love him.

  277. Hey! The Stainless Steel Rat Returns. First 3 chapters here: http://is.gd/ckVEK

  278. We have first edition copies of the first three of the Stainless Steel Rat books. I love the Stainless Steel Rat!

  279. Kilt it. Kilt it dead.


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