This is John T. Morton
John T. Morton is the assistant secretary of homeland security for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). He leads the principal investigative component of the Department of Homeland Security and the second largest investigative agency in the federal government, with more than 19,000 employees and an annual budget of more than $5 billion.
This is John T. Morton’s stated position on illegal aliens identified and detained in a sovereign state of our Republic: He said,
“. . . will not necessarily process illegal immigrants referred to them by Arizona officials.”
John T. Morton took an oath to uphold and enforce the laws of the United States of America. Arizona is the 48th state admitted to the Union. Either Mr. Morton starts enforcing the law, tender his resignation or stand trial for malfeasance in willfully refusing to uphold his oath.
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Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
Fuck this slimy douche with the barbed cock of Satan.
Wouldn’t AZ sue? What’s the legal term for suing to force an official to perform his duties?
Also, I’m not seeing the pic, Master Chief.
He looks just like my wall!
He looks just like my wall!
Your wall could use a paint job.
Try it again!
What’s the legal term for suing to force an official to perform his duties?
It’s called a Writ of Mandamus.
It’s called a Writ of Mandamus.
Thanks. I just couldn’t recall it.
But how many people even KNOW there is such a thing?
Writ of Mandamus – is that a hanging offense?
Then, Scott, they get smart. If you wait a week between telling them there’s something wrong with the top of the beer can then pulling the tab as they peer at it, they keep falling for it. But when they get smart they say “Daddy, look. There’s something weird on this can and I don’t think you should drink it.”
You dutifully look over it, and *whoosh*
They laugh their ass off for days and days.
I’m not seeing the pic either.
My computer is telling me that the Department of Homeland Security is not delivering the customary security certificate to assure me the site is safe.
Typical incompetence.
Is Michael a loyer?
Michael is a Michael.
But how many people even KNOW there is such a thing?
Aside from lawyers, not many.
It’s most often used as a form of appeal, i.e., superior courts telling inferior courts to get it right.
Mandamus against another branch of government is much harder to get. The target of the writ has to be way off the reservation (meaning, outside the bounds of their discretion) before courts will intervene.
I’d say that normally the feds would have quite a bit of room for discretion, but since they’ve already made it clear that any refusal to accept and process illegals is a political decision, they are outside the bounds of discretion.
Michael – And refusing to enforce the law and uphold his oath doesn’t meet this standard?
*mumbles about fucking lawyers writing fucking laws*
I loved fucking with my kids when they were stupid.
My favorite was when I planted a straw wrapper on the front porch in advance, and then did a “magic trick” where I pretended to blow the straw wrapper from inside, through a picture window, to the porch. I just caught the wrapper in my hand and dropped it behind the couch while they were watching the glass, which I had told them to keep an eye on. Basic misdirection.
They bugged me for years for an explanation while they were trying to figure out how I did that.
Does anyone still have that animated GIF wiserbud made for the 2012 Olympics?
Michael – And refusing to enforce the law and uphold his oath doesn’t meet this standard?
Nope. He has a budget, enacted by Congress and signed by the President. He has limited resources. He has to decide how to deploy those limited resources.
The real problem here is that Congress and the President are not committed to sealing the border.
Meaning, the problem is us, the people who elected them.
The problem is not this one civil servant.
I think I already copped to my fav with the girls when they were little, asking them to open their mouths and say “ahh” so I could look in there all serious and say “oh my goodness, you are so sleepy”.
Heh. Taking advantage of stupid kids is half the fun of being a parent.
When my daughters were five and three, I’d come home and say “Daddy’s been bad. His punishment is his daughters have to walk on his back for fifteen minutes.”
Best back rub ever. Then they jump up and down on your butt, while they laugh their asses off.
Good times.
Evenin’ ladies.
FYI, the 300,000th H2 comment is somewhere near the end of the last thread.
My dad used to “take my nose” when I was a kid
The problem is not this one civil servant.
So, you see no problem with this “man” not upholding the oath he swore? WTF is wrong with this picture? What if every soldier, Sailor, Marine an airman decided the same thing? How about every local and state LEO?
My dad used to beat me mercilessly with a belt.
When eldest was about six, we were having a big multifamily dinner at a nice restaurant, and she asked me why she had two forks. So I said “one is for your salad and one is for the big meal”. So she asked me “which one is the salad fork?” and I said “the cold one”, and she asked how she could tell and I said “you hold them both against your cheeks and whichever one feels colder to you is the salad fork”.
My wife came back to the table to see me and the kid holding two forks against our cheeks and the little girl said “MOM THIS IS MY SALAD FORK!”
big eyeroll from mom, but she was kinda used to my bullshit by then.
“The wind is caused by trees sneezing.”
My dad used to beat me mercilessly with a belt.
I’m sure you did something to deserve it.
OK, the lack of answer to my query is answer enough.
I’m sure you did something to deserve it.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Did I forget to mention that/
Sorry MCPO,
I was distracted by Ann Coulter
The olympic mascots are creeping me right the fuck out.
Romy, I didn’t have anything to do with that video you asked me about several days ago. In fact, I’m very irritated by the gen Y’ers here in general. They’re always telling everyone UR DOIN IT RONG and trying to explain to the people who built the f’n technology how to use it. Snotty little whelps. And what REALLY irritates me is that the management, instead of telling them to STFU and stop assuming they know more than the people who’ve been here 40 years, oohs and aahs over everything they say.
A group of them did a big, elaborate presentation about how “special” Gen Y is. It was the lamest thing ever, but I had to put up with people forwarding it around and saying how great it was and asking me if I agreed. Um, NO. For example, one slide showed a map of the world, and they had put little dots on it that (I assume) represented their facebook friends, and they labeled the map, “Over the last 24 hours, we have communicated with people in these locations!” BFD. So has everyone else. Get over yourselves.
Hotspurt,
That sounds really wonderful. Now that my own mortality is quite visible, I realize what a mistake it was to not have children.
I had a ball with my co-workers kids, and now they are all grown men and women with kids of their own.
By getting ‘snipped’ in the early ’70s (we were all gonna die in “Global Thermo-Nuclear War”), I cost the missus & me something really precious.
Too soon old, too late smart.
Now, we’ll die alone & un-mourned. Who will we leave all this to? Xbrad? Who the fuck knows?
Mrs. Peel, there are few gen Y’ers at Marshall. I’m the third youngest in the group, and I will have 25 years with NASA in Sept.
Wish management would listen to them on the subject of webpages. It’s damn near impossible to get anything updated.
Hi Peeleo!
I checked your blog today, and WOW you have been making up for lost time!
So, you see no problem with this “man” not upholding the oath he swore? WTF is wrong with this picture?
I don’t know what to say, Chief. I know it’s wrong, you know it’s wrong, but there’s so many in this administration that don’t believe in anything other than their own greed, power, or that “it all depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.”
Romy – Yeah, I know that. I find it disconcerting that Michael is so blase about it!
Master Chief,
I am voting for you for president. Please clean that shit up.
MCPO, Michael’s probably trying to ration his explosions like the rest of us.
I don’t like it but don’t have a clue how to fix it other than elections.
ChrisP, I guarantee that you would be mourned here. We don’t do well with losing any of our Hostages.
I agree with you vmax and I want that Alabama dude for VP.
The center is old overall, but I’m in the branch with the most young people. I do tend to forget that not everyone grew up with the intertubes. A while back, we had some questions about an Altera FPGA we are using, so I went to the Altera forums. I trusted the answers I got because the users who responded to me were “gurus” – they had given a lot of answers, and their answers had been highly rated by other users. The older people in my branch were like “WTF?” and I laughed all the way through my explanation, because it hadn’t even occurred to me to question the validity of what I was doing…
We recently got a spiffy new home webpage, and our document storage system underwent an overhaul, so now it’s a little easier to find documents (e.g., I might need to look up a document defining the power quality interface requirements in the various modules). I still think the efforts to use social media are lame. I haven’t even friended Robonaut on FB.
Hi Vmax! Yep, I put up a lot of reviews. But tomorrow is my last pre-written post, so I don’t know what will go up after that…
Evenin’, Hostages.
I am so sick of the job hunt. I miss anything exciting here today?
I think Chris Christie is hawt. But let’s see if he actually succeeds…
Like Monty said, we’re spending money we don’t have. It’s not sustainable. Why doesn’t everyone see that???
>> I do tend to forget that not everyone grew up with the intertubes
Babygirl, in 1987 I wrote a VM-based messaging system for the USAF Logistics Detachment at my DoD contractor’s airbase that replaced a punch-card TELEX thingy over dialup.
Sometimes this shit still amazes me.
…
But then I remember 8 tracks too. *shrug*
WTF is wrong with this picture? What if every soldier, Sailor, Marine an airman decided the same thing? How about every local and state LEO?
Every soldier, sailor, and marine can only shoot as many bullets as they are given. When they run out of bullets, they stop shooting, despite their oath to defend the Constitution.
My point being, the INS simply does not have the resources to defend our southern border.
OK, the lack of answer to my query is answer enough.
Lighten up. I was having dinner with Cathy on the patio.
I need a new job too Sky
worked 1-1/2 days this week. Ouch!
Whats for dinner Michael?
I had chicken and yellow rice with apple strudel. All home made. Started my oxtail stew.
Like Monty said, we’re spending money we don’t have. It’s not sustainable. Why doesn’t everyone see that???
Eh, it’s just little pieces of dyed cotton. We can print hundreds as easily as ones. Pay off the Chinese and Japanese with all these crisp new benjamins. Will it cause inflation here? Only if they start buying our goods, which would be nice in some respects. At least we could make things again.
Yeah, this is a suckass strategy for anyone with savings in $$, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t what we’re going to do when push comes to shove.
Mrs. Peel, I think we are still using ICE/Windchill for losing our documents, which reminds me of this.
http://tinyurl.com/257pf2g
BFD. So has everyone else. Get over yourselves.
Feel free to shame the little snots by referring them to my Flag Counter.
(Maybe you should not mention that they are showing up to look at a shark picture, Amsterdam hookers, and Giada.)
“I need a new job too Sky
worked 1-1/2 days this week. Ouch!”
I just haveb to get back out west. I’m getting more and more worried about my mother’s health as time goes on. Sigh.
The co-op student was fascinated by my collection of photographs. Actual, real photographs, not printouts.
**mutters “whippersnapper”
Thanks, PattyAnn,
It just sucks to look at the consequences of a hasty decision in the ’70s that will have such a profound effect so many years down the line. No way to ‘fix it’, no way to go back. It’s one of those times when the regret just washes up in your face as; “What were you thinking?”
What we were thinking was that we would bring children into a world of post nuke war. We did not want to condemn them to such short nasty lives, so we didn’t. If we’d waited a few years, it would have been quite different.
By now, we’d have had children (geeky, I.T. wizards who were social misfits) and grandchildren, who rebelled against their geeky parents, that we could have spoiled as revenge against our kids! It would have been GREAT!
Face it Dorfman, we fucked-up!
Your basic pleasure model: http://tinyurl.com/2duojnp
Yeah, we have Windchill too, but it’s been revamped. Now you can actually find stuff. WOW!!!!
ok, I’m gonna go play more Eschalon: Book II. Y’all have a nice evening now.
Michael – this isn’t about a lack of resources, it’s willful intent to refuse to enforce the law in AZ. All the rest is bullshit posturing.
Yeah, Morton is quite clearly saying they will refuse to do their job for political reasons.
MCPO, I’ll take Elizabeth Hurley. I know Daryl is the classic model, but c’mon.
Roamy,
Hugs to you on the anniversary of losing your mom. It’s been a couple years for mine. Gonna be my dad soon.
Now you can actually find stuff.
Mrs. Peel, I’ll believe it when I see it. Someone should have gone to jail for that unholy piece of shit.
Who will we leave all this to?
*raises hand*
My 401 account.
I will devote myself to using these funds to promote Pure Lutheran Doctrine™ in tropical resort areas.
Your 401 is gonna be converted into a government annuity.
Thanks, Michael.
I knew we could count on you! Tropical resort areal sounds kinda cool! Good on you!
areal = areas. Keep the mission going!
“My point being, the INS simply does not have the resources to defend our southern border.”
Volunteers will defend the border if given the chance.
Thanks, Chrispy.
Chris, don’t leave it to anyone. Carefully plan so that your very last penny is spent on the last puff of air before they shut off your heart-lung machine. Enjoy your money.
Michael – this isn’t about a lack of resources, it’s willful intent to refuse to enforce the law in AZ. All the rest is bullshit posturing.
Where do you get that idea?
You’re just wrong. There are INS officers in Arizona arresting and deporting illegal aliens every day. There are just not enough of them, and there is no fucking fence. They are being overwhelmed.
>> Michael – this isn’t about a lack of resources, it’s willful intent to refuse to enforce the law in AZ. All the rest is bullshit posturing.
So? His position is remarkably like those who served before him under GWB.
Whether he doesn’t have the will, or the money, kinda same situation as always.
I get your frustration. It’s just a symptom of the disease, which goes higher than this apparatchik.
I saw we commit resources to digging a new estuary for the Rio Grande. Just take that mother all the way across to the Pacific. It’s a fence, it’s an irrigation source, it’s both!
ChrisP = you are doing it wrong. You are supposed to die owing!
It’s just a symptom of the disease, which goes higher than this apparatchik.
You people are beyond fucked up if you want to parse the plain English he used in his statement. Fuck, I should have walked away from my oath and spent time with my family rather than cut those circles in the ocean in the sky.
It’s a fucking disgusting repudiation of his oath and responsibility to the people of this Republic. I spit on anyone who would defend him and his filk
I am going to predict that all of this hysteria over the oil entering the loop current will be much ado about nothing.
The northern loop current stays away from the keys, and Miami. I do not know if Cape Hatteras or Ireland will be in the gulf stream. But it stays away from Florida, and the Keys.
Yes it is 20 miles away. But it is 20 miles away!
Where do you get that idea?
Ummmm … maybe the quote ^^^ up there.
whatever. Your outragey outrage is noted.
Volunteers will defend the border if given the chance.
Yeah, probably, but do you really want to rely on redneck vigilante justice?
We need a fuckin’ fence, and more money directed towards INS enforcement. It wouldn’t cost that much. Somewhere I read an estimate of five billion. We also need enforcement of existing sanctions on employers hiring illegals, and a path to legal status for the illegals that are already here and paying taxes. At a minimum, they should speak English.
We also need to change the law that automatically confers American citizenship on anybody born on American soil. We are the only advanced country that does that. Citizenship should be based on having at least one legal American citizen as your parent.
“Yeah, probably, but do you really want to rely on redneck vigilante justice?”
Is there a better kind?
Mine the freakin’ boarder!
Leon,
We both worked hard, at jobs we hated, but were VERY qualified to do, for many years. We scrimped & saved, and always paid cash. Never bought anything we couldn’t afford. Even cars, CASH! We have no mortgage, we bought materials and built our house. Everything we have is free & clear. We really don’t know how to dispose of all this before we run out of time. Retirement accounts, social security, 401k”s, CDs. We could buy a couple of ‘top-end’ Ferrari’s and crash them into each-other. We should have lived better along the way. But we did not know what was coming. Did anyone?
I wish we had children and grand-children to leave this to. It sucks that we will leave it all to Xbad. That just breaks my heart.
Two walls and Tigers.
Has everyone seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5RPS_iTNiw
Yeah, probably, but do you really want to rely on redneck vigilante justice?
That’s basically what AZ is already being accused of. Might as well make the shoe fit.
Give it to Brad/
and sharks with frickin laser beams.
Chrispy, feel free to leave it all to Ember Jr. She’ll love you forever, I promise. Heh.
Mine the freakin’ boarder!
I’ve had the same thought. A well-marked minefield would probably be a pretty effective fence. It worked for East Germany when they were trying to keep people in. I saw it when the Cold War was still going on.
Two walls and Tigers.
Or these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgpQBZF2sZQ
Yeah, probably, but do you really want to rely on redneck vigilante justice?
Well, I’d prefer to have the regular Army shooting border crossers, but I’ll take what I can get.
and sharks with frickin laser beams.
Remember, it’s the feds we’re talking about here. You know how this turns out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw
A well-marked minefield would probably be a pretty effective fence. Works, in conjunction with the Cuban fence, in Guantanamo Bay.
Of course, East Germany did not just rely on mines. They also had guard towers, trenches, barbed wire, and German Shepherd dogs patrolling while attached to overhead wires.
They were serious about controlling their border. The difference was, they were keeping people in, not out.
Ok, ill-tempered sea bass then.
Ok, ill-tempered sea bass then
Throw me a frickin’ bone here.
L to R: (Rosetta; Wiserdouche)
http://tinyurl.com/287q9rp
Sea Bass are yummy! Fried! Baked! or Sauteed!
Chinese gibberish?
will not necessarily process
By the way, Chief, note the weasel-word “necessarily.”
This is not a statement that has any real meaning. It’s just a bureaucrat trying to appease his boss and be politically correct.
Just dump some med-school cadavers out on the trails with a sign, the last folks that tried to sneak in… There is no easy or nice way back for America. the question is war now or war when there are 30 million more on the other side.
I went to the fridge to grab one piece of chocolate.
How’d I end up with two handfuls?
Timely content from the ONT: http://realitypod.com/2010/05/top-10-sniper-rifles/
Hi Rob in Katy!
Tell me about you.
That’s basically what AZ is already being accused of. Might as well make the shoe fit.
And this is exactly why the FedGov should not shirk its duty. It’s the same reason we outsource justice to policemen, because we’re pretty sure it’d be way messier if we all did it ourselves. But if the cops won’t do it…
ChrisP, perhaps you should do some homework on orphanages – not necessarily here – or neonatal ICUs, which will really need the help under Obamacare – or St. Jude and will your money there. Or prolife places that counsel women to become ‘family makers’ instead of choosing death for their little ones.
You help out babies and children you would have loved to have.
Michael – No, it’s fucked up beyond belief. Maybe you’re right. If so, this is not the America I swore a blood oath to defend. That anyone could co cavalierly dismiss their oath to the Constitution is repugnant, PC parsing or not.
Better yet, become a ‘Big Brother’ or volunteer in a nursery.
Hi Rob in Katy!
Tell me about you.
That Katy must be one hell of a girl, what with letting him comment in flagrante and all.
Not that it will make you feel any better, Chief, I’m with you. You publicly shirk your duty and oath, resources or not, you need to go. If you do so at the behest of your president, then be a man and call his ass on it. He is a punk, not a king.
Just trying to suck them in Andy.
Just like we did you!
And with that, I must retire for the evening. Got a long weekend ahead of me.
Good night.
*gives MCPO and Chrispy a hug*
Hahaha vmax.
‘Night beasnsnsns
Chief, I have yet to meet the public servant at the highest level, that takes that oath as seriously as a 19 year old kid graduating from basic.
Sad but true.
I have 3 long action 300’s
They rock!
Nite Beasn!
ChrisP,
I don’t want you to die and leave everything to me.
I want it now.
Speaking of Mexico:
A) The Rush clip over at the mothership kicked ass, and
2) Anybody seen Rosetta? I hear they want that donkey back.
Goodnight, Beasn!
who thinks that movie Magruber is going to be a 5 star flick?
Too much Wild Turkey
Good night!
Xbad,
Patience. It will come. Wait for it, grasshopper.
Chief, the more I watch, the more I realize that the Confusian curse is correct: May you live in interesting times.
We have the interesting situation where many Americans appear to be waking up, while at the same time, more and more in government seem to think that their service means deciding and doing for us, with the idea that restrictions on their power are merely suggestions.
>> who thinks that movie Magruber is going to be a 5 star flick?
If you were in it, maybe.
are the lawyers still talking about their Manginas?
Great. Now, I can’t afford my trip home next month. Could this day get any fucking better?
No, it’s fucked up beyond belief.
No argument there.
Maybe you’re right.
I’m only right about whether a weaselly remark like that would legally provide grounds for a writ of mandamus. You are right to be outraged.
You OK, Ember?
If you were in it, maybe.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
If you were in it,
maybetopless.FTFY, Dave.
Does it help that I am topless now?
are the lawyers still talking about their Manginas?
The H2: Serving up homemade bread with a side of rhetorical questions since March 2009
thehell? we went from no rain tonight to severe thunderstorm warning?
>> Does it help that I am topless now?
That’s a huge help, and I loves you too.
>> Could this day get any fucking better?
What happened kid?
Does it help that I am topless now?
No, not really. I think I just sprained my brain.
Eh, Xbrad. It’s been a really shitty 24 hours. My mom’s health is getting way, way worse, and she was put in the hospital this morning; I had to send her some cash to help her out with a few things, and that cash ended up being just enough to make it so that I can’t afford to book the flights back home. Work was a fucking drag, I got a customer complaint against me because I was obeying a company policy, my boss is annoyed about it and still refusing my transfer, my husband is pissed that we can’t afford our trip … etc.
I’ll survive. It’s just the kind of day that makes me want to give the fuck up.
Could this day get any fucking better?
Yes, it could.
*puts on the Barry White album*
Neck massage?
Perhaps a glass of wine?
Go ahead, take your shoes off.
Chin up, Sky.
Tomorrow is another day.
Awww.. that sucks.
I admire you though for saying “I’ll survive”. Bad days are bad days. We get through em.
Oh, sorry. Duh!
You probably don’t get that movie reference.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB-vnc7zDhU&feature=fvsr
{{hugs Ember while refraining from most inappropriate contact}}
Hang in there, Kiddo. It’ll get better. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday.
One of the nice things about NOT being a pagan is I know things get better.
I’ve had much worse days than today and made it through’em just fine. I’m more disappointed than anything else. I’ve been waiting to go home for more than a year and I was really, really looking forward to it.
I am so sorry Ember I hope it gets better
You want a Hostess Ding-Dong snack cake?
(SYWM)
That is my favorite movie Andy and I always LOVE looking at your avatar
Sky, just out of curiosity, from where to where are you trying to fly, and on what day(s) do you want to return?
Andy, believe it or not, I’ve seen Gone With The Wind. But you realizing that I probably hadn’t made me smile. Thanks. 🙂
Michael, from Baton Rouge to Reno, June 12-20. My friends were even planning a huge rock show for us, heh. There will be other rock shows, though!
Wow there’s a lot of bugs in my drink.
Oh well, South Beach approved.
Work was a fucking drag, I got a customer complaint against me because I was obeying a company policy, my boss is annoyed about it and still refusing my transfer, my husband is pissed that we can’t afford our trip … etc.
Tell hubby to chop off the customer’s head and leave on your boss’s bed. Gives him something to do, gets rid of complaint, and makes your boss a little more pliable.
Wisdom of Solomon right there, that’s what that is.
“Tell hubby to chop off the customer’s head and leave on your boss’s bed. Gives him something to do, gets rid of complaint, and makes your boss a little more pliable.”
Until one or both of us go to jail. I don’t know either of us are smart enough to make that happen without getting busted.
Until one or both of us go to jail.
Hey, don’t talk back to Solomon.
Michael, I love you and Cathy. That is all.
I’m batchin it tomorrow and I’ll bet I stay up till 11:30
I love Cathy, is that good enough?
I’m batchin it tomorrow and I’ll bet I stay up till 11:30
I get to go home tomorrow, so I’m going to stay up a little later than that.
safe travels ya goober
also, msg rcvd, ack
safe travels ya goober
Thanks. My guess is that they won’t be particularly sober travels.
Michael and Cathy are awesomesauce and I love them both. Be nice to Batman, Xbrad, or I’ll kick your ass.
Should Michael be emailing me? Yes he should. Yes indeed.
I’m always nice to Michael.
But I love Cathy.
I sensed kindness afoot.
That’s nice.
I love Cathy, is that good enough?
Pretty much everybody we know seems to think so. I’ve gotten used to it.
Michael, did you know your wife has more friends on facebook than any of my other friends have?
I sensed kindness afoot.
Look, I checked, but award seating goes early. It was a longshot.
Your skeevy heart was in the right place.
Aww, guys, while I would, of course, appreciate any kindness, really, it’s totally unnecessary. I can borrow some money from someone, or dip into savings, or something, and still make it happen. I just needed to vent. Really.
Michael, did you know your wife has more friends on facebook than any of my other friends have?
No, but that does not surprise me.
She’s like some kind of people magnet. They just attach to her. Maybe it’s because she is nice to them, I don’t know.
Drives me nuts.
Suh-Weet!!
http://tinyurl.com/24prtrm
How much you need?
I can’t give, but I can loan.
Let me hit up my family before I start hitting up my super amazing FIFs, Xbrad.
Helps keep my pride (slightly) intact. 😉
I can borrow some money from someone . . .
Borrow from me. I want to tell you about my special “interest rate.”
“I want to tell you about my special “interest rate.””
For some reason, that terrifies me.
Are you still sure I have to be nice to Batman?
Yes, Xbrad, be nice to Batman. Unless you have a really, really, really good zinger.
It’s not an “interest rate”, it’s “usury”.
For some reason, that terrifies me.
Jeebers. And I haven’t even mentioned the “late payment penalty.”
Dude, you’re Batman, not Robin (the cradle)
Hey, Sohita, I save $600 if I fly out of Houston. If I decide to go that route, can we stash my car with you guys?
Talk about your predatory lender. Don’t let him get to the part about “balloon” payments. There are some things you just shouldn’t know.
“Jeebers. And I haven’t even mentioned the “late payment penalty.””
Meep. Does Cathy know about your, erm, loan terms?
http://tinyurl.com/24kb7df
How do you feel about having your car totally powdercoated?
Meep. Does Cathy know about your, erm, loan terms?
Of course not. She is a nice person. She would encourage loan payments by making you pie.
I will never understand that woman.
“She would encourage loan payments by making you pie.”
That would be great encouragement, since I’m on a diet and I would pay early and often to avoid getting pie.
since I’m on a diet
WTF?
Honey, you are obsessing about body image. When I saw you a few months ago, you looked pretty skinny to me. A few extra pounds of fat would have been good for you.
I have enough to live on and save for emergencies and retirement, but the emergency fund and savings come at the expense of things like, for example, living room furniture. It pisses me off that the people who buy stuff they can’t afford with money they don’t have don’t appear to suffer. Looks to me like they’re whooping it up and having a great time, and I’m the one who’ll have to pay for it.
It also really pisses me off that it’s almost impossible for middle-class families to manage on one income. I thought about holding out for a rich guy, but there’s too much competition for too small a pool. Not putting out puts me at a severe disadvantage in today’s world.
Man, I’m cranky today…
“Honey, you are obsessing about body image. When I saw you a few months ago, you looked pretty skinny to me. A few extra pounds of fat would have been good for you.”
How does it surprise you at this point that I’m a vain self-centered narcissist who will never be happy with my body?
Sky, if Sohos isn’t around at that time, I have garage space and I don’t mind taking you to the airport (I assume Hobby? Intercontinental is a long drive, so you might have to buy me an ice cream cone).
“It also really pisses me off that it’s almost impossible for middle-class families to manage on one income.”
Amen to that. Mr. Ember and I have had to sacrifice a lot for him to be able to stay at home with our daughter. I wouldn’t be stressing about this trip home if he had a job. But I don’t want my daughter being raised in a pre-school.
So, we live in a cramped apartment, and we spend frugally so we can take care of emergencies and give money to family when they need it. Which makes me happy. But, sometimes, I wish Mr. Ember had a job so we never had to stress about money.
“Sky, if Sohos isn’t around at that time, I have garage space and I don’t mind taking you to the airport (I assume Hobby? Intercontinental is a long drive, so you might have to buy me an ice cream cone).”
I forget you’re in Houston, Mrs. Peel. Thanks for the offer! 🙂 Mr. Ember is now complaining about the very idea of driving home from Houston after a long flight on Father’s Day. Which, I guess, I would probably bitch about too if it were Mother’s Day …
It pisses me off that the people who buy stuff they can’t afford with money they don’t have don’t appear to suffer.
By all accounts, they are suffering, and learning a valuable lesson. They have upside-down mortgages, and they are abandoning their dream homes in order to move into shitty little apartments.
My point being, Mrs. Peel, stick with your values. Control debt, save, and invest. It will pay off in the long run. You just need the guts to ride out short-term market swings, and you are young enough to do that.
How does it surprise you at this point that I’m a vain self-centered narcissist who will never be happy with my body?
That does not surprise me. I was just trying to score some points by saying that you are hot.
“That does not surprise me. I was just trying to score some points by saying that you are hot.”
Shucks. Points scored.
But, sometimes, I wish Mr. Ember had a job so we never had to stress about money.
You’d still stress about money. You’d just do it with more stuff.
“You’d still stress about money. You’d just do it with more stuff.”
We never used to stress about money. ‘Course, we didn’t have a kid then, and no cares in the world, as it were. It was easy not to stress about money.
I’m not happy with my body either, Michael.
*waits*
No prob, Sky. Just let me know what y’all decide.
Ohai. What’s everyone talking about?
Try wearing garters and stockings, Mrs. Peel. That helps a lot. Send before and after pics and I’ll give you an honest critique.
xbrad, what stupid did you do today?
All the hugs and people doing nice things made me think of this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt6lYiKcik8
Good night, my friends.
If I wanted an honest critique, I would send my cheesecake pics to Doug.
Romy, I was kinda hoping that would be a rickroll.
Eeew. I think I’d have to buy you lots of ice cream, Mrs. Peel; all the flights leave at, like, 6 am if I want to save the $600 bucks.
xbrad, what stupid did you do today?
I showed up here…
I’m not happy with my body either, Michael.
OK, so you see what I am talking about. Women are insecure about there bodies.
Look, do you think I would have danced with you if you were an ugly chick with a bad body?
Huh?!?
OK, maybe that’s a bad question, because I actually do dance with fat chicks. Normally, they are a lot of fun to be with, even if the sexual attraction meter is at zero.
So let me start over.
What really makes you sexy is who you are, with all your issues and vulnerabilities, and out there somewhere is a guy who will get that.
“Romy, I was kinda hoping that would be a rickroll.”
Bwahaha. That would have been funneh.
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
I showed up here…
Hey! Apparently that was my same stupid.
It’s easier to solve a braille Rubik’s Cube with your butt cheeks that to break into a late night comment thread here.
“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
Everybody’s got a price …
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
No, Brad, actually I am rather touched that you would say that about me.
Congratulations on coming out!!!
I’d lend it to you with no interest, sky, but it looks like my trip to the moron meetup is in doubt. A few whamys have left me wondering if I am going to have enough money.
PNR, do you remember your first blowjob?
How long did it take the guy to come?
Eh, 6 AM is no big deal. Maybe I’d actually make it to work on time for once. Assuming again that we’re talking about Hobby…if you want me to get you to Intercontinental by 5 in the morning, you have to show me your boobs. 😛
PNR, do you remember your first blowjob?
How long did it take the guy to come?
And here I wondered if you were gonna ask if PNR swallowed.
If PNR is Lisa, that joke isn’t half as funneh.
Crap, if she’s showing the twins, I’LL DRIVE HER TO THE AIRPORT
“Assuming again that we’re talking about Hobby…if you want me to get you to Intercontinental by 5 in the morning, you have to show me your boobs.”
Hobby. But it’s a Saturday. Who wants to wake up at the asscrack o’dawn on a Saturday!?
I’d lend it to you with no interest, sky, but it looks like my trip to the moron meetup is in doubt. A few whamys have left me wondering if I am going to have enough money.
Aw, man, BiW, you gotta make it. It’s up to you and me to bore everyone else with some kind of mind-numbing lawyer argument about the definition of a “charter.”
PNR, do you remember your first blowjob?
How long did it take the guy to come?
The pimp? It took him about two hours to come over with the hookers.
He said it was traffic but I don’t know the real reason.
BiW, are you saying you may not make the meet up?
Hey morons, PNR = R. I just didn’t feel like logging in.
Jeeez.
*slaps everyone across the face*
“I’d lend it to you with no interest, sky, but it looks like my trip to the moron meetup is in doubt. A few whamys have left me wondering if I am going to have enough money.”
One of those days all the way around, eh? *hugs!*
I’m not sure yet. The COBRA payment is more than we expected, my wife needs new tires and brakes on the Not-an-SUV/Not-a-station-wagon, and when I added in the cost of new clothes, her “free” trip to Hawaii was about $600 we didn’t have available to spend.
That sucks BiW. I hate when life interferes with stuff. I hope you can make it, brother.
PNR=R, I knew that, but was momentarily concerned it might be your better half. She’d be a fool to dip her toe in these waters, but then again, she’d be a fool to marry you.
Eh, no big deal. Hobby’s pretty close, and I often get up early on Saturdays to clean the house.
Relax everyone … you don’t have to though Xbrad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbZYzoidkYU
Sleep well peeples.
I think we’re going to do it, Peelie.
What’s a hotel that’s close to you?
Hahahaha. Mrs. Rosetta would never sock puppet on here as she would fear for her life.
She knows the type of sharks that hang out on H2.
Plus she doesn’t know that I can solve the braille Rubik’s Cube with my butt cheeks.
PNR=R, I knew that, but was momentarily concerned it might be your better half. She’d be a fool to dip her toe in these waters, but then again, she’d be a fool to marry you.
Not a fool. Just merciful. That’s why she’s the “better” half.
Not merciful, just drunk that one time.
Not a fool. Just merciful. That’s why she’s the “better” half.
Hahahahahahaha. Oh it’s more than that. If the movie Twins was about a married couple, I’m definitely DeVito.
Not merciful, just drunk that one time.
Drunk that one time is why they make D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Unless you are saying that once you go Rosetta, you never go back. And that idea makes me throw up in my mouth a little. 😉
Hmm…I would look near Bay Area Blvd & 45. If you want excitement, the Hilton on NASA Road One is where that dentist chick ran over her cheating husband.
Somebody give me and sky each other’s emails, ok? *looks in Rosetta’s direction*
Peel, in July you’re giving me a piggy back ride. I don’t care what you say.
NO CRYING!!!!
Peel, in July you’re giving me a piggy back ride. I don’t care what you say.
*cancels flight*
Ok, I’m going to bed three hours ago. Night all.
I stayed in the EconoLodge on NASA Parkway once.
That was not exciting. The rooms smelled funny and none of the lights worked, which was weird.
*cancels flight*
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Okay. I, too, am going to bed. G’night, all! *hugs to all her Hostage friends* Not to get all sappy, but you hosefuckers are the best. I love you guys.
If you think Bill Maher is an intellectual infant, and really how could you not, this is a good bit:
http://tinyurl.com/28sh5ue
This poat smells of disinfectant and leftover grilled bologna.
HA! I almost asked SkyZ where she buried Sean’s body.
What say you Cassidy?
*puts on bear suit*
Did anyone draw a picture of Muhammad today?
I can’t draw worth a damn, so I stole a link from Scott and posted that.
I saw this elsewhere so it’s not original and this isn’t the exact picture but this is the best:
Here is my picture of Muhammad:
http://tinyurl.com/l33vds
This is an innocent question because I really don’t know the answer to it.
If I said “Muhammad was pedophile”, is that okay? As long as I don’t show a picture of him?
I just want to get the rules right.
*hides in pig pen*
HA! I almost asked SkyZ where she buried Sean’s body.
What say you Cassidy?
I say , I’MA CUT YOU WITH THIS RUSTY BREAD KNO\IFE, YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
Oh shit….
*shakes fist at sky*
IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
Please excuse my typos.
This is an innocent question because I really don’t know the answer to it.
If I said “Muhammad was pedophile”, is that okay? As long as I don’t show a picture of him?
Yes, that’s okay. As long as you don’t mind getting your head sawed off or having your home and/or office firebombed. I hope that clears things up.
Obi Wan Kno/ife, help us. You’re our only hope.
*shoves drawing of Muhammad up R2-D2’s ass*
*shoves drawing of Muhammad up R2-D2′s ass*
Hey, post your Star Wars/Koran fanfic somewhere else.
Here’s another question. What if there was a constellation of stars that looked like Muhammad?
What then? I’m pretty sure that there is.
*puts bear suit back on*
Some frog posted comments at my blog in French.
I took two years in high school, but have no idea what he’s saying.
Hey, post your Star Wars/Koran fanfic somewhere else.
Hahahahaha. I like how in Empire Strikes Back during the snow storm, Muhammad kills the infidel and then sleeps inside him unto Ham Solo comes to rescue him.
Best scene EVER ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
What say you, Advice Dog?
http://tinyurl.com/25u8rwx
What say you, Advice Dog?
http://tinyurl.com/25u8rwx
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Advice Dog, sleep with one eye open.
I notice Sean hasn’t put his neck on the line.
Uh oh.
http://tinyurl.com/2ayal2q
*puts bear suit back on*
Santa?
I’m going to bed before something bad happens.
If anyone asks, BBF will be of the late afternoon variety tomorrow.
Nytol.
Definitely NOT Muhammad. I said this is NOT him.
http://tinyurl.com/yfcfwsb
I notice Sean hasn’t put his neck on the line.
My (lack of) MS Paint skillz wouldn’t get much attention from Jihadists.
I mean, could you figure out that this is supposed to be a picture of Mohammed?
Maybe not Mohammed.
Looks like one of his followers after his vest exploded.
Santa?
Hahahahahahaha.
*severs head of reindeer cookie*
WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!!
*severs head of reindeer cookie*
WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!!
BEST RAMADAN EVER!!!!!
Crap, I can’t believe I missed the Grey’s Anatomy season finale.
**cuts random passerby**
There’s a Law & Order: UK?
There’s a Law & Order: UK?
Yeah. It mostly involves the arrest and trial of law-abiding citizens for defending themselves against criminals. Law & Order: Thought Crimes Unit is on tap for next season.
http://www.casttv.com/shows/law-order-uk
Is it legal to shoot bears in Missouri?
I guess it’s legal to kill threads herel.
Where’s “herel”?
It’s right here, but just before I hit you over the head with a tire iron.
ChrisP, I’d say leave it all to me, because I’m poor and deserving, (well, poor anyway) but actually beans (I think) had the best idea ever. A charity involving the kids you didn’t get (orphanage, St. Jude, etc) would be a great thing to do.
‘Cano is making sense.
Isn’t that like the 5th seal or something?
Good morning, douche baggots!
Good evening douche bagitos
Comment by Dave in Texas on May 20, 2010 8:41 am
Hey Sox, do you know where the word “catapult” came from? “Pult” is the sound a cat makes when it gets thrown into a rock wall at 75 mph by that contraption.
Comment by Americano on May 20, 2010 8:51 am
catasplat
I’m beginning to suspect DinT and ‘Cano are Allergic to Cats, and are not getting enough Fiber in their “Diets”…..
*** Borrows Catapult. Launches Case of Prunes,followed by Economy Sized Nasal Decongestant toward Saipan, and Texas ***,
New thread. It, unfortunately, has no boobs. Yet.
Comment by Pupster on May 20, 2010 8:57 am
Hey Sox…do you hear something?
http://tinyurl.com/3a5eage
Is that Ol’ Pedophile Mo’s Mummified Cat during his Vaudeville Era?