Big Bongo Friday™

Hello and welcome to Big Boob Friday.

When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. Our first President slapped Obama across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”

Patrick Henry approached, punched Obama in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed you bastard.”

James Madison followed, kicked Barry in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense, asshole!”

Thomas Jefferson was next and he beat Obama with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical socialist leader.

As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, an angel appeared. Obama wept and cried out, “This is not what you promised me!!”

The angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”

______________________________________________________

Your musical interlude for today is brought to you by the first LP that I bought with my own money. At the TG&Y in Independence, Kansas when I was 11.  Check out the fucking track listing on THIS K-Tel bad boy.

If you’re a hot chick, feel free to take your top off and dance around.

I occasionally get email suggestions for future BBF models which is helpful and much appreciated.  Most of them are pretty good.  Except the ones that compos emails me which are all women with dicks.  Today’s BBF model was suggested by Hospital Fruit so if you don’t like it, feel free to punch him in the pussy.

As you know, we here at Big Boob Friday always endeavor to teach you a bit about each of our beautiful models as they are all women of depth and accomplishment.  They’re not just pieces of meat you fucking pig!  However your lovely model for today doesn’t have a bio anywhere.  In fact there are actually only a couple of pictures of her.  Which is a shame because she has definite repeat potential.

All that I can tell you about her, I know from this picture: she’s smoking hot, a bit exotic, definitely not anorexic and God was very generous with her.  Please say hello to my new best friend and your model for today, May 7, 2010, Maritza Mendez.  YAY!!!!

I bet she’s fun to wrestle with.

On this day…

* in 1429, the English siege of Orléans was broken by Joan of Arc.   Oh great!   This is why we can’t have nice things, Joan.

* in 1667, composer Johann Jakob Froberger died at the age of 50.
Out: OFB.  In: Froberger.

* in 1824, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony premiered in Vienna sausage.

* in 1832, Greece became an independent republic.  Good luck with that.

* in 1833, Johannes Brahms was born in Hamburg Germany

* in 1840, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky was born in Votkinsk Russia.

* in 1901, Belgian waffle composer Marcel Poot was born.  I’ll give you $20 if you change your name to Poot.

* in 1913, British House of Commons rejected woman’s right to vote.

* in 1919, crybaby Eva Perón was born in ARGGHHHentina.

* in 1928, England lowered the age of women voters from 30 to 21.

* in 1966, the Mamas & Papas’ “Monday Monday” hit #1.

* in 1968, Academy Award winning actress Traci Lords (Nora Louise Kuzma) was born in Steubenville, Ohio.

* in 1970, the Beatles last American release “Long and Winding Road” went on sale.

That’s all I got for you.  I’m hungover as a motherfucker today so I’m going to need to knock off work early and have a few cocktails.

My plans for the weekend include cleaning out and power-washing the garage so there is a 70% chance that I will burn down my house and accidentally bury myself alive.

As you attempt to have fun this weekend and not look like an asshole, keep in mind that life is like a box of douche barnyard porn that dead hooker’s stuff my dick smaller boxes chocolates.

Cheers!

There is only one good picture of Maritza on all of TittyWeb Jenkins so here are a couple of pictures of Ines Cudna and Ewa Sonnet getting ready for our date.

553 Comments

  1. Fist! Eat it!

  2. FAGGOT STAMPEDE!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/243dmbp

  3. I do not envy that woman’s lumbar vertebrae.

  4. FAGGOT STAMPEDE!!!!

    THOSE ARE PJM’S DADS!!!

    And remember ….

    http://tinyurl.com/35xdab6

  5. *takes off hat

    WAAAAHOOOOOOO!

    Now THAT is a body.

    I don’t know if I ever shared my experience about being super turned on by a Nigerian woman who was managing an African imports store in Las Vegas….well she had THAT kind of body..

    Sweet mother of Joseph, what a playground.

    Love me them curves.

    Excellent job Rosetta!!!!

    Five attractive hookers for you.

  6. My favorite part:

    “My plans for the weekend include cleaning out and power-washing the garage so there is a 70% chance that I will burn down my house and accidentally bury myself alive.”

    hahahahahahaha….I’ve missed your idiocy.

  7. “And remember ….
    http://tinyurl.com/35xdab6

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Compos, you’re a lovable douche.

  8. Jazz, there’s always whole milk. Stir in a little cinnamon and it’s practically a cocktail.

    I’m lactose intolerant. You will pay should I indulge, and cinnamon doesn’t cover the sulfur smell.

  9. Rosetta, what did you do last night?

  10. Hahahahahaha, the Joan of Arc link.

  11. Rosie – Nice job for a tuba playing faggot!

  12. Well if it isn’t Mare. Here…I have something I’ve been wanting to give you.

    http://tinyurl.com/yz86kuy

  13. Jazz, a can of full-fat coconut milk is like 650 calories. No protein to speak of, but it’s better than starving, and you could throw it in the blender with peanut or almond butter.

  14. “Well if it isn’t Mare. Here…I have something I’ve been wanting to give you.
    http://tinyurl.com/yz86kuy

    Yes, yes I have truly missed you.

  15. Well done Rosie.

  16. Good lord, Rosie. Your BBF model looks like someone tried to garrote the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man across the stomach.

  17. Rosie – Nice job for a tuba playing faggot!

    I’d kill myself too if my name was Sousa!!

  18. Rosetta, what did you do last night?

    Partied like a rock star.

  19. I recommend the coconut-milk, nut butter smoothie, btw. Add some frozen blueberries and some protein powder and it’s pretty much dessert.

  20. The BBF model likes wine so we could have a nice evening drinking wine and I could ask her if she has any problems attracting men.

  21. Are we continuing the always popular “What’s for din-din?” thread over from the last poat? Oh Good.

    Mrs. Pendejo: What do you want for supper? (we call the evening meal supper)

    Literal Translation: (which took me a couple of years of marriage to fathom) I don’t feel like cooking tonight, let’s go get something.

    Mr. Pendejo: How about fried chicken and mashed taters?

    Literal Translation: That woman makes awesome fucking fried chicken and mashed taters.

    Mrs. Pendejo: I don’t feel like cooking tonight, let’s go get something. (no translation needed)

  22. How about fried chicken and mashed taters? … I don’t feel like cooking tonight, let’s go get something.

    Kenfucky Fried Children?

  23. More pictures of her:

    http://tinyurl.com/278yvvw

    http://tinyurl.com/2d9lv22

    http://tinyurl.com/29d5wjw

    NSFW: http://tinyurl.com/298hqg2 In this one, I only have three words…SILVER DOLLAR NIPPLES

  24. No KFC in my little POS town.

  25. I only have two words…..Coconut Milk!

  26. No KFC in my little POS town.

    You are missing out on comparatively little.

  27. “Partied like a rock star.”

    Elton John, Boy George or Freddie Mercury?

  28. Partied like a rock star.

    So I guess we know who tanked the market, huh?

    MOM!!! ROSETTA’S SHORTING “GOTSE” and “BEWB” AGAIN!!!

  29. Mare, what’s that you’re feeling in your hair?

    http://tinyurl.com/33dphe5

  30. I’d rather have a decent Mom&Pop chicken stand than a KFC any day!

  31. I do not like KFC.

  32. “Mare, what’s that you’re feeling in your hair?
    http://tinyurl.com/33dphe5

    *THUD*

  33. Uh, Compos, there’s something on your face:

  34. Maritza has bigger thighs that my 270 lb ass does. I’m not saying I don’t love her. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t let her get on top.

  35. Mare, I’ve missed you, and there’s something I’ve been meaning to give you:

    http://tinyurl.com/299m65r

  36. The BBF model likes wine so we could have a nice evening drinking wine and I could ask her if she has any problems attracting men.

    Hahahahahahaha.

  37. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t let her get on top.

    I would fear penile fracture. And if you can hear that phrase and not cringe, you have no penis.

  38. “Mare, I’ve missed you, and there’s something I’ve been meaning to give you:
    http://tinyurl.com/299m65r

    hahahahahahahahahaha….DO NOT WANT!

  39. I would let her get on top. Just imagine those beauties bouncing around.

    *runs to bathroom.

  40. Elton John, Boy George or Freddie Mercury?

    Lady Gaga.

  41. I would fear asphyxiation due to massive over-pressure applied to the thoracic region.

  42. Uni, get your ass out of the bahroom. Those are the good guest towels and I don’t want you launching troops into them.

  43. Rosetta, were you with a bunch of friends or just Compos’s mom?

  44. What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?

  45. Pendejo,
    Worth the risk.

  46. Nice job, manlesbo. You just got bumped to the “kill last” pile.

  47. “What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?”

    The goat isn’t enjoying himself.

  48. “What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?”

    Jazz hurt his jaw while trying to blow the goat, but Uniball is all alone.

  49. “What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?”

    Uniball is all alone and PJM is holding the rope to her goat.

  50. “What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?”

    Jazz may get arrested.

  51. “What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?”

    Uni has the common decency to close the door. Jazz gives his mom 90 minutes to go door to door selling tickets.

  52. “What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?”

    When Jazz is done he has goat shit all over his pants and shoes, Uniball walks out with freshly washed hands.

  53. What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?

    I can’t use a “this isn’t the first time” punchline on this one.

  54. What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?

    2 seconds in the 40-yard dash.

  55. Good news! I left the puppy alone outside for one and a half hours and he didn’t eat anyone

  56. Gotta hit teh road. Going to get Pearl Jam’d up.
    Hope you all have a great weekend.

    L to R: compos , Mare

  57. What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?

    Well, it sounds about the same, so I’m stumped.

  58. When Jazz is done he has goat shit all over his pants and shoes, Uniball walks out with freshly washed hands.

    Hahahahahahaha.

  59. You know what sucks about gettting older?

    I mean besides not being able to sleep through the night and pissing on yourself due to lack of pressure.

    Not being able to say “you’re mama” to your friends. Cause most of their mamas are dead. And that shit just wouldn’t be right.

  60. What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?

    Uni’s bathroom doesn’t have a Rosie getting taken like a prison bitch.

  61. Compos, hahahahahaahha…link please.

  62. oopsie …

    L to R … compos, Mare http://tinyurl.com/2dp4tof

  63. I love coconut milk! Put the coconut in the fridge when it’s cool, drill hole, insert straw and enjoy!

    Mmmmmmmmm

  64. “And that shit just wouldn’t be right.”

    You know what is right, your momma, last night, that was right.

  65. L to R … compos, Mare http://tinyurl.com/2dp4tof

    hahahahaha…not as bad as I expected.

  66. What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?

    Uniball doesn’t run to the bathroom for a living.

  67. If you want to see me riling up some poor, emotional conservative woman because she’s being a dunderhead: http://tinyurl.com/27q89fd

    I take a pretty libertarian approach toward drugs.

  68. 5th grade maturity level = hilariousness

  69. “What’s the difference between Uniball running to the bathroom and Jazz impregnating a goat?”

    PJM lets Uniball sip her coconut milk while he’s gettin’ er done, while PJM kicks Jazz in the nuts for fucking one of her goats…again.

  70. Nothing better than sipping chilled coconut milk while gettin’ er done.

    Thanks PJM.

  71. Comment by Jazz on May 7, 2010 4:08 pm

    No.

    This is the bewb thread.

    FYNQ

  72. Jazz,
    You better do a full disclosure and let them know you are a Mellowist.

  73. Socialism doesn’t just kill people, it prevents many of them from ever being born.

  74. Looks like compos got a new bike.

    http://tinyurl.com/287jw75

  75. I wonder how this is coming along.

    http://tinyurl.com/ncd4pu

  76. Why Pendejo wants to visit Africa:
    http://tinyurl.com/22jmbm2

  77. I don’t know but Mrs. Faggot looks hitworthy after a half dozen cocktails.

  78. Very nice boobies today, Rosetta.

    *puts gold foil star sticker on Rosie’s paper*

    *pulls her shirt back down after dancing around half-nekkid to Fire Woman*

    I’m off to a Mother’s Day Tea put on by my all the kids at school! Catch you all later!

  79. Why Mare is worried about Global Warming.
    http://tinyurl.com/29k96w2

  80. *tackles Cyn, gives her “the best four seconds of her life”*

  81. Jazz,
    You better do a full disclosure and let them know you are a Mellowist.

    Can I wait for the next one? This one’s too much fun.

  82. How about some more Greece FUBAR:

    http://tinyurl.com/34m95t8

  83. Comment by Uniball on May 7, 2010 4:19 pm
    Why Pendejo wants to visit Africa:
    http://tinyurl.com/22jmbm2

    Freshman year of college, Biology 101. Not being a science major, I wanted to get my 8 hours of required science out of the way in the easiest way possible. There was a Biology prof who had a rep for being an easy “A” so I signed up for his 8:00 MWF. That fucking perverted old bastard spent the whole semester talking about rare tropical diseases. Mostly Elephantiases. I have no fucking idea how to spell Elephantiases. Wheres Tats when you need her? He had been to sub-Saharan Africa a dozen times and had slide show after slide show of pictures like that one. The one I remember the most was the an ol’ boy who had to carry his scrotum around in a wheelbarrow every where he went. There was a half a slideshow devoted just to him. My girlfriend, who is now Mrs. Pendejo, was not amused.

  84. The growing debt thing is part of why I’m tempted to become a part-time goat farmer. I figure I can push a bunch of my capital into something to sustain me through the coming depression.

    PJ, are you farming crops at all? I’m thinking about an acre or two of flax to feed to the livestock and improve their omega-3s.

  85. Pendejo,
    Funny story.

  86. I keep trying to talk herself into moving out of the borough and getting a place with some land, cleared and wooded. That would provide an area for a food plot and wood for fuel. No takers yet.

  87. The horses give me some leverage MCPO, but her having to give up her new job minimizes that leverage.

  88. That would provide an area for a food burial plot and wood for fuel a pyre.

    FTFY. :P

    /Macabre, I know. I have an affinity for black humor, though.

  89. The ranchers around here have cattle and goats. And I have a rifle. Push comes to shove, I don’t reckon I need my own livestock.

  90. Whoa, in reading Boobpedia about our BBF model, they had a line that said she has a daughter who is also an adult actress.

    Her name is Silvia Loret.

    WTF?

    Extremely NSFW:http://silvialoret.com/home.htm

    What the fuck kind of family is this?

  91. The ranchers around here have cattle and goats. And I have a rifle. Push comes to shove, I don’t reckon I need my own livestock.

    I have my own rifle. I suspect your rancher neighbors do also.

  92. I think his plan was to shoot the rancher first.

  93. Would not fuck with Ranchers.

  94. PJ, are you farming crops at all?

    I will be when I move to the new house. My property is only .25 acres that I’ll be living on, but I’m hoping to hire someone to help me design my front yard as a garden. I’ll take out the front lawn and have flowers and pathways and grow fruit and vegetables.

    I haven’t an ounce of creativity so I need someone to help me with the aesthetics.

  95. Would not fuck with Ranchers.

    Me, either. I saw “Open Range.”

  96. best link for learning everything about goats

    http://www.fiascofarms.com

    and for chickens

    http://www.backyardchickens.com

  97. I’m working reeeeeally hard on getting PJD to want to move to Texas so I can have more land, but I figure I gotta prove myself to him with all this animal crud first.

    nice BBF model btw. They always make me feel good about my body

  98. Drive time. Have a good night, all.

  99. I just wanted everyone to know that on the Droid, I can refresh the page without scrolling, thanks to the context menu.

    That is all.

  100. show off

  101. I just wanted everyone to know that on the Droid. . .

    “Where does she get all of those wonderful toys?” – The Joker

  102. Would not fuck with Ranchers.

    I have a long story to tell about a guy I designed a house for who was moving to Montana to build a cattle ranch. Halfway through construction he had taken it upon himself to build a fence on the property line which cut off access for the next door rancher’s cattle to get to water.

    My guy was right about the property line, but the rancher was a lifelong resident. An honest to God gunfight occurred with six shooters and all, and when the smoke cleared, my client and his oldest son were shot dead.

    Later at the trials the rancher and his hand were found not guilty. You don’t fuck with water n the west, and you sure as hell don’t fuck with cattle.

  103. An honest to God gunfight occurred with six shooters and all, and when the smoke cleared, my client and his oldest son were shot dead.

    holy crap. I can’t even say Don’t Mess with Texas cuz it wasn’t there

    kid run

  104. wait, does that mean you didn’t get paid?

  105. Police brutality — http://i.imgur.com/CN7gy.jpg

  106. Looks like that cop blew a seal.

  107. I’m less worried about water rights here. With a clever catch system, I’ll have plenty from the sky. Without a clever catch system, I’ll have fields of mud for months.

  108. Hotspur,
    I believe it.
    Montana and Wyoming are pretty badass that way, and water is worth more than gold.

    I would not include stealing beef from a rancher in my survival plans, unless I didn’t want to survive for long.

  109. Still leaving, but if you haven’t seen this clip of a Tuscon, AZ city council meeting wherein one member wanted legal advice about suing the state over the immigration law, you need to:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShkpO9Rf1bo

  110. My response to LauraW’s Headcount request: I’m planning on being there. Bringing 2 cans of Red Bull, a cooler, a carton of Marlboro lights, a yellow thong, 3 Q-tips, 7 issues of Bride magazine, a S&W .38 Special, a ski mask, 2 copies of Beaches on DVD, a Kaiser Wilhelm helmet and my wubbie.

  111. wait, does that mean you didn’t get paid?

    I got paid before he and his sons moved away from Michigan. But part of what I negotiated was being able to go to Montana whenever I wanted to hunt and fish and stay at the ranch. The house never got finished, and his wife, other son, two daughters-in-law, and grandson moved back.

  112. Hotspur, what are you wearing right now?

  113. Jazz, that video was awesome.

  114. Hotspur, what are you wearing right now?

    Your mom’s booty pops.

  115. Your mom’s booty pops.

    They make your ass look fat.

  116. That’s exactly what she said.

  117. MOM!!!! HOTSPUR IS HURTING MY FEELINGS!!!

  118. Excellent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLgZ1LWLlko

  119. Here are the nutrition numbers for Jägermeister from The Daily Plate website:

    Serving Size: 1 oz

    Calories 103
    Calories from Fat 0
    Total Fat 0g 0%
    Saturated Fat 0g 0%
    Sodium 0mg 0%
    Total Carbohydrate 0g 0%
    Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
    Protein 0%

    And then it says this:

    “Tip: Try one of these other items instead of Jagermeister to consume fewer calories:

    No healthy alternatives are available for this item yet.”

    Hahahahahaha.

    No shit.

  120. Waiter, I’ll have 3 shot of Jager and a side order of beer.

  121. Hahahahaha: http://www.969bostontalks.com/bustickettoboston.aspx

  122. I’m supplying the Jaeger at the meats-up in July.

    Get your final affairs in order and notify your next of kin.

  123. MCPOot, are you bringing your Herself with you to CT?

  124. Rosie – Naw. I’m rooming with PJ and Sohos.

  125. nutritiondata.com says a jigger of rum is 94 calories. That should be pretty much it for a skinny mohito.

    If I ever break down and need to drink again.

  126. Evenin’ Hostagefolks.

    I have a very strict no-Jaeger rule.

  127. Makes yer clothes fall off?

  128. I have a very strict no-Jaeger rule.

    Why do you hate The Fat Arm Baby Jesus?

    http://tinyurl.com/6xw4kx

  129. I listened to a couple of those sound tracks Skylia, you have a nice voice.

  130. Yeah, after the time I woke up naked, duct-taped to a pool table, I decided to stop drinking the shit.

    I had a shot of it a few weeks back and ended up topless on the bar. Something about Jaeger just does that to me.

  131. That happens to everyone.

  132. Makes yer clothes fall off?

    Hahahahaha. That reminds me of this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj2700em-JQ

  133. Aww, thanks Scott. I got invited to join another band last night, so yay for busy musical projects.

  134. I see PG decided to drink at home tonight.

    http://tinyurl.com/33ezhn2

  135. nutritiondata.com says a jigger of rum is 94 calories.

    RACIST!!!

  136. Brewfan????

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/3232ypc

  137. MCPO, when you and BrewFan meet I’m going to yell “BUM FIGHT!!!”.

    That will be awesome.

  138. That will be awesome.

    You’re assuming we haven’t already decided to team up to give you a pink belly??

  139. I’m glad Jazz got the beers he ordered.

    http://tinyurl.com/yh0f

  140. Why was I not informed that beasn finally submitted a picture to PoL?

    I’m supposed to be kept apprised of these things people.

  141. You’re assuming we haven’t already decided to team up to give you a pink belly??

    I don’t know what a pink belly is but it sounds very gaylord.

    What is a pink belly?

  142. What is a pink belly?

    Blowjob.

    MCPO still hasn’t noticed his avatar & slogan at the ct forum.

  143. Just booked my flight for July.

    *does happy dance*

  144. That should be pretty much it for a skinny mohito.

    Mojitos also have a TON of sugar.

  145. I wish I could come to CT. Whiiiiine.

  146. I’m driving.

  147. I see my little hit and run poat about shooting the local livestock scored some serious indignation. Fuckin Win.

    In actuality (that’s a fucking word bitches) I’m about as big a Rule of Law guy as I know. Including those laws governing property rights. My survival plan includes shooting orphaned children, but not cattle or goats. Also my survival plan involves an attic full of toilet paper and toothpaste. I figure people will trade food for a chance to keep their teeth healthy and their bunghole clean.

    I see PG decided to drink at home tonight.

    http://tinyurl.com/33ezhn2

    Actually I’ve got friends from east TX coming in tonight to start house hunting as they’re moving back this way. We plan to meet in the neighboring metropolis and make some barmaid an evening to remember in terms of record tip money.

  148. I’m driving.

    I thought about it and going east would be ok, but coming home I keep thinking who wants to drive 1,000 miles hung over?

  149. My drive is about 700. That’s doable in one day.

  150. Plus if I fly I just have to rent a car anyway. I’d rather have my own.

  151. Rosetta’s new mistress is a looker … but she is a LITTLE on the blunt side:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9XdUEgfub8&feature=related

    Bwaahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahaahha!

    Safe for work as long as you don’t work around other humans.

  152. My brothers used to give me pink bellied all the time.

    They hold you down and slap the crap out of your gut till it turns pink

  153. I think they were trying to see if you were pregnant yet.

  154. What is a pink belly?

    Blowjob.

    My brothers used to give me pink bellies all the time.

    MOM!!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!



  155. Hahahahahaha. How did you come across that piece of brilliance, Clint?

  156. Rosie,
    While stocking up on beverages this evening I purchased some cachaça and some limes. I intend to match you 1 for 1 this evening. (I picked up some key limes to see if they were any good too)

  157. I used the “Rosetta was here” search engine.

  158. LauraW – I saw it and laughed and laughed and laughed!

    *mumbles* bitch

  159. Limes suck this year – tiny and shriveled.

  160. Rosetta, I thought the “Angry Pirate” was a particularly compelling method, didn’t you?

  161. Rosetta – This is a pink belly

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSBK8WQMH2I

  162. Rosie,
    While stocking up on beverages this evening I purchased some cachaça and some limes. I intend to match you 1 for 1 this evening. (I picked up some key limes to see if they were any good too)

    Well done, my bald dog friend! I am actually very interested in the key lime experiment.

    Please try that and rate it on a 1 to 5 golden lab scale. Here’s this if you need it.

  163. Limes suck this year – tiny and shriveled.

    What if Hotspur threw a lemon lime party and nobody came?

  164. I do not endorse putting water in the caipirhina. Just substitute moar booze.

  165. >> Blowjob.

    Oh.

  166. Andy, you going to CT?

  167. Yes

  168. I’m now commenting from Walmart. Looooong line at the cash registers. Thanks for keeping me company, pervs.

  169. Sweet.

  170. Will Do Rosetta buddy.

    The Key limes here Hotspur were looking much better than the regular ones too. The limes did not look that bad, but that was part of the reason I bought the key limes. I also think Key lime has a smoother flavor than lime limes.

  171. Do NOT make eye contact, Peelio. And no sudden movements.

    We can do this!

  172. Peel – I need 2 cans of Red Bull, a cooler, a carton of Marlboro lights, a yellow thong, 3 Q-tips, 7 issues of Bride magazine, a S&W .38 Special, a ski mask, 2 copies of Beaches on DVD, a Kaiser Wilhelm helmet and a wubbie. Thanks, you’re a sweetheart!

  173. Hahahaha. MCPO’s getting his shopping done early.

    I bet Rosetta has every one of those items within 10 feet of his current location.

  174. Chief, when you get to CT could you put one if those bike flags on your Hoveround so we can keep track of you?

  175. Are you really driving to CT, Hotspur?

  176. Yeah, it’s only 700 miles.

  177. Should be a nice little haul. Which vehicle?

  178. Hotspur – No. However, I’ll consider and M-134D mount on my Jeep.

    http://tinyurl.com/33lwl8o

  179. How ’bout just a bit of butt kickin’ music as we head off to dinner?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVZjP0NGBsA&a=mEJjSJdQkM4&playnext_from=ML

  180. Michael Graham in today’s WSJ: http://bit.ly/cUDtDP

  181. Did you know bald eagles will eat rabbits?

    I just learned that. Definitively.

  182. Andy, the Porsche.

    Chief, I’m looking forward to meeting you most of all.

  183. Mr. Ember wants me to pick a place to get dinner tonight. I hate making decisions. Frak.

  184. Hotspur – I’ll be easy to recognize. I’ll be the drunken fat guy sitting on Rosetta’s lap.

  185. Sky – Tell him the Mount Hope Plantation in Baton Rouge.

  186. Cool. A 6-hour drive.

  187. “Did you know bald eagles will eat rabbits?”

    Dude, what the fuck?

  188. I have a full day’s flight from San Diego……long day

  189. I had hawks take my cat and her litter of kittens

  190. I don’t want to go all the way to BR. BR traffic on a Friday night is like LA rush hour. *twitch*

  191. Where are you flying into, PJM? Hartford?

  192. “Cool. A six hour drive.”

    Sir, we are a nation of laws, and I obey them.

  193. Mr. Ember wants me to pick a place to get dinner tonight.

    Jambalaya Palace and Brewski Emporium!!!

    It’s my favorite.

  194. Okay. Off to eat dinner. See you guys soon.

  195. She didn’t even tell us where she was going for dinner?!??

    *mumbles* inconsiderate &(!**#)#))#

  196. Hahahaha. It’s 90 miles of bear-infested highway from here to Hartford. Also known as an hour and a half.

  197. Either there or la guardia and my cousin will pick me up

  198. It’s 90 miles of bear-infested highway from here to Hartford.

    Yeah, that’s an awful drive for someone who likes to zip along in festive fashion.

  199. XBRAD IS THROWING RABBITS AT BALD EAGLES AGAIN!!!

  200. Holy shit! What is Cleveland doing to Boston?

  201. Get real, Mesa.

    I threw the eagle at the rabbit.

  202. Rosetta and Clintbird behind the bar:

    http://tinyurl.com/39o52mf

  203. Somebody is ready to lay some pipe!

    http://tinyurl.com/278h3ya

  204. .5 seconds after MCPO meets Rosetta

    http://tinyurl.com/37xnhcz

  205. Pupster – I prefer a revolver.

  206. Did anybody say anything boring today?

  207. Did anybody say anything boring today?

    *points two thumbs towards his chest*

    THIS GUY!

  208. Shit.

    Got a call from a Hostagette and I fuckin’ missed it.

    FML

  209. Got a call from a Hostagette and I fuckin’ missed it.

    Wiserbud called you?

    SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!

  210. Anybody have any suggestions for a CT meet up prize for the person traveling the furthest distance? (It will likely be PJM unless Mare shows up)

  211. Wiserbud is blocked on my phone.

  212. Anybody have any suggestions for a CT meet up prize for the person traveling the furthest distance? (It will likely be PJM unless Mare shows up)

    Birth control?

    Chicken feed?

  213. It will likely be PJM unless Mare shows up

    A 50 lb sack of goat pellets or a pink belly, her choice.

  214. Scratch that, BIW would probably take it.

  215. ok grandpa did it! He caught a fish for his 87th birthday!! YAY!!!

  216. Anybody have any suggestions for a CT meet up prize for the person traveling the furthest distance?

    How about a prize for the person traveling furthest south!

  217. Anybody have any suggestions for a CT meet up prize for the person traveling the furthest distance? (It will likely be PJM unless Mare shows up)

    Nope, it’ll be me as mare will no longer be a resident of Hawaii by that time.

    WINNER! WINNER!! WINNER!!

    ME!!! ME!!! ME!!!

  218. stupid BiW

  219. 87 years old and hauling in a black marlin?! That is no mean feat!

  220. Starting Location
    Seattle, WA Edit
    Cancel

    Ending Location
    Hartford, CT Edit
    Cancel
    Total Travel Estimate: 44 hours 59 minutes / 2940.45 miles

    Starting Location
    [address redacted] Alpine, CA 91901-3118
    Cancel

    Ending Location
    Hartford, CT Edit
    Cancel
    Total Travel Estimate: 44 hours 20 minutes / 2909.96 miles

    I WIN!!! I WIN!!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!!

    unless stupid BiW lives farther west than seattle

  221. He and his cronies go to the gym 3 times a week MCPO.

  222. PJ is really bad at math.

  223. ummm…

  224. HAHAHAHAHA! I read that wrong.

  225. SUCK IT!!!!!

  226. Gabe’s coming in from CA too, but I don’t know exactly where. Around LA, I think.

  227. *dawns on me why pj has so many kids!*

  228. Cuts lime, adds sugar, ice, fills to top with Sagatiba Pura Cachaça.

    Mummm Spicy!

    Nice!

  229. Starting Location
    Los Angeles, CA Edit
    Cancel

    Ending Location
    Hartford, CT Edit
    Cancel
    Total Travel Estimate: 44 hours 12 minutes / 2894.72 miles

    Gabe LOOOOSES!

  230. *dawns on me why pj has so many kids!*

    I don’t do so good at natural family planning

  231. sounds deeeelicious vmax

  232. Nice Fish PJM!

  233. Brewfan – You and me are going to give Rosetta a pink belly at the meatup

  234. Brewfan – You and me are going to give Rosetta a pink belly at the meatup

    Roger. Plus TP wiserbud’s house. Oh, and short-sheet Dave in LongIslandSound, too.

  235. Are we going to hit the early bird buffet MCPO?

  236. oh so it’s brewfan and MCPO that are doing the pink belly?

    Yeah, that definitely means blow job

  237. PJM – SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!!!!*

    *I mean that in the nicest possible way, beeoytch!

  238. Yeah, that definitely means blow job

    hahaha! You’re mean!

  239. Are we going to hit the early bird buffet MCPO?

    I hope they have creamed corn and meatloaf!

  240. These guys got caught on camera committing this perversion right on the front lawn.

  241. MOM!!! MCPO FORGOT TO ATTEND HIS ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS TODAY!!!!

  242. speaking of cornhole, is mesa going to be at the meatup?

  243. that’s disgusting laura. you need a NSFW on that link

  244. mesa said he’s not, but me and sohos and my cousin will be sharing a room. I’m so excited.

    SLUMBER PARTY!!!!

  245. Laura – How about a warning next time!!

  246. but me and sohos and my cousin will be sharing a room.

    I’m not your cousin!!!!

  247. I’m not your cousin!!!!

    Har Har

  248. When you incentivize a behavior, don’t expect that behavior to decrease.

    http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2010/05/percentage-of-unmarried-mothers-has.html

  249. me and sohos and my cousin will be sharing a room. SLUMBER PARTY!!!!

    *note to self: bring drill and video camera*

  250. *cuts key lime, adds sugar, ice, fills to top with Cachaça*

    Mummm Still spicy! Darn Good stuff!

  251. Did Mrs. Peel make it out of Walmart? Do we need to put together a rescue party?

    And am I the only one who does the self check-out even if I have a full buggy?

  252. SLUMBER PARTY!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/23aldcj

    Obligatory.

  253. And am I the only one who does the self check-out even if I have a full buggy?

    Our Walmart is pretty good at having enough registers open.

  254. I’d do the self checkout, but they don’t have them at my walmart. The grocery store? heck yeah!

  255. I do a self check every time I close a door Romy.

    Oh wait! Self check out!

    Never mind!

  256. And am I the only one who does the self check-out even if I have a full buggy?

    Buggy? Is that a southern thing? We just call them carts.

  257. I have wondered WTF our Walmart has 32 checkout lines when they only ever have 2 or 3 open. I saw 12 open the weekend before Christmas.

  258. Buggy is indeed a Southern thing. Somewhere there’s an online test of your accent – if you say “coke”, “soda”, or “pop”, “cart”, “buggy”, or “basket”, etc.

  259. Airdale stops in Georgia circa 1976. . .

    Southern waitress: “What do you want to drink?”

    Me: “I’ll have a Coke”

    Southern Waitress: “What kind of Coke you want?”

  260. I remember a discussion here some months ago where Sohos was insisting that every kind of soft drink was indeed a Coke.

  261. Where I grew up “pop” was the generic term for soda, then I moved to Florida where “Coke” is generic.

    One time I went to a family Christmas party, I was asked if I brought “Pop” I said no, I did not bring “pop”. The next question was “Who brought him?”

    Oh I brought Grandpa to the party and he is alternatively called Pop, GG Grandpa etc.
    (GG is Great Grandpa) He was always grandpa to me.

  262. Southern Waitress: “What kind of Coke you want?”

    Precisely!

  263. Co-cola….

  264. OK Rosetta I am on Caiprianha #5
    Where are you?

    Just taunting he is prolly out doing real life stuff.

  265. I’m on my third soda pop of the day.

  266. Bought some Beaujalais and have finished the bottle.

  267. During much of my childhood, I called soda “pop” because my parents were transplanted midwesterners.

  268. Just taunting he is prolly out doing real life stuff passed out in a pool of his own filth.

    FTFY

  269. Nouveau Beaujolais?

  270. Hey salty hosers!

  271. Mr. RFH used to make fun of his sister going west with her accent and suddenly calling a vacuum cleaner a sweeper.

  272. MCPO, not new. And not very good, either.

  273. Romy – How are Mr. RFH and the Doodle-bug doing tonight?

  274. “And am I the only one who does the self check-out even if I have a full buggy?”

    I refuse to use any self check-outs. I WANT real life people to serve me. If I use the self check-outs, that means at least one less person they need to hire.

  275. It has been over 90 here much of the day. I have never found it so hard to drink!

    I drink 1/2 gallon before lunch, 1/2 gallon at lunch, 1/2 gallon after lunch, yet I am still dehydrated and cramp up. I need more GatorAid!

    Or Caiprinha! Stat!

  276. ‘pool of his own filth.”

    of his own filth = dead hooker

  277. Hello again, Hostagefolkses. How’s the evenin’ goin’?

  278. Pretty amazing. AnitaP has been reading this trash occasionally and is telling me; “You ought to go to the CT meat-up”. It would be fun!
    WTF, O? I Don’t know you anymore! What happened to the woman I married?
    SOB!

  279. Take the opportunity while the wife allows it, Chrispy. If she changes her mind after you buy plane tickets, she’s pretty much screwed and has to let you go.

  280. ChrisP, I wish I could go. If you are able to—go!

  281. PattyAnne,
    Can you fly with your back?

  282. V, I can’t sit more than about 30 minutes before my legs are numb. And right now I can’t have my arm hang unsupported for very long ’cause it’s murder.

  283. Jeopardy time. See youse guys and dolls later.

  284. Jeopardy time. See youse guys and dolls later.

    Five minutes to Wapner, five minutes to Wapner.

  285. OK, the Vietnam Memorial Wall thing on the ONT is disrespectful bullshit.

  286. MCPO, I’m missing the ONT Vietnam Memorial Wall item… which one is it?

  287. The bottom of my spine is trashed. The two bottom discs are crushed. The vertebrae impinge on the nerves that run to my legs. I think sitting in a cramped airline seat for 4 or 5 hours would have me in screaming fits.
    “Passenger goes f’ing nuts! Film at 11”!
    Probably not gonna happen. If I still had a medical, I’d fly me and BiW myself, as I could land, stop and walk around whenever I needed to. It’d take a while, but it would be doable.
    I’ve not flown commercial since 9/11, and have a VERY low tolerance for bullshit.
    Probably not gonna happen, unless the bride beats on me a lot.
    I’d sincerely love to meet more of you in real-life (Meat-space), as I only know Xbrad & BiW at this point, and that was a butt-load of fun, as if we’d been friends for years. I’m pretty shy(anti-social) and was reluctant to do it, but it was very cool in the end.
    A little conflicted, but I’m an old-fart and set in my ways, so that’s ok.
    I’ll stop rambling now. Please go back to your regularly scheduled program.
    Thank you.

  288. Paulitics – It’s on the ONT post – the last item.

  289. Mr. RFH is in some pain, better than yesterday but thank God for Lortab. My daughter is her usual sunny self and is not hindered by the cast in anything other than taking a shower. :)

  290. Romy – Good news. Hope your stress level is significantly reduced.

  291. Just got back from a grad party for my buddy that’s shipping out to Ft. Knox next week. Gave him $50 and wished him well. Told him I’d buy dinner if he came back for a visit.

  292. Children are so adaptable! It’s wonderful! Best wishes for her and Mr. RFH.
    Is she gonna learn to write with her left-hand? When I was 10-12 and broke my left in a fight, I had to learn to write with my right hand. It has served me well! I’m pretty ambidextrous and can write, shoot, use tools,and bowl with both hands. As a ‘lefty’, I find it interesting that most ‘rightys’ can not use their left hand for anything but a club.

  293. *goes and cries in a corner* Xbrad doesn’t love me.

  294. The bottom of my spine is trashed. The two bottom discs are crushed. The vertebrae impinge on the nerves that run to my legs.

    L4 and L5??

    I’ve got the same thing. The sciatica pain is un-ending, it’s just a matter of degrees.

  295. Xbrad doesn’t love me.

    Consider yourself lucky.

    MCPO, have you tried all the regular approaches — epidural steroid shots, traction, TENS, etc.?

  296. RAAAACIST! http://tinyurl.com/238bp2t

  297. Paulitics – and surgery.

  298. I love you Ember.

    I’m just not IN love with you.

    Especially hard to perv on you when your husband is listening in.

  299. Ugh. Then I have no useful advice, having been through the same stuff.

  300. Chrispy, she writes better with her left hand than my son does with his right. And yes, I stink at anything I try to do lefty. One of my nephews is ambidextrous and can pitch with either hand. Threw the switch-hitters for a loop.

    Chief, much better, thank you.

  301. Heh, after you hung up, Xbrad, Mr. Ember suggested that I have my boyfriends call me while I’m at work, not at home.

  302. Threw the switch-hitters for a loop.

    So does XBrad. IYKWIMAITYD.

  303. Romy, how’s the little one’s broken arm?

  304. **still doesn’t see anything about the Wall on the ONT**

  305. MCPO,
    No, L4-L5, L5-S1. Ruptured them both. They look like stomped grapes.
    Yes, the pain is every second you are awake. I try to be in a drunken stupor as much as I can.
    One of the Docs said;
    “You’ve trashed the bottom of your spine!
    You can’t get parts.
    You are gonna hurt every second you’re awake until you die”
    Try to make the best of it!
    Thank you, doctor. Thank you, very much!
    The down-side is that my GP said;
    “You’re killing your liver by drinkin’ yourself to sleep every night”. You should probably move away from grain alcohol.
    So it goes…

  306. Chris, where do you live?

    I ask because there are some signifantly advanced clinical studies going on here in SoCal for folks with severe disk issues.

  307. Yes, I made it out of walmart. I’ve been baking delicious nanner bread since. (It’s for my mom.)

    Man, the more you jerks talk about CT, the more I think I should just eat the airfare and go. But it is le expensive.

  308. Hey Peel,

    Did you see the WW2 gif last night?

    http://tinyurl.com/34edvmp

  309. It’s funny when big brothers teach their little brothers things, well, sometimes.

    Graham: mom, go up to Gavin and tell him to stop global warming. Save the planet.

    me: Gavin, stop global warming. Save the planet.

    Gavin: shut up idiot

  310. Pretty great Mrs. ChrisP thinks he should go to the meat-up.

    She must be a cool Hostage at heart.

  311. Paulitics,
    In the great NorthWet, close to BiW. South of Seattle & Tacoma.
    The only relief I saw was in Bremen, Germany.
    NOT covered by insurance ( Unless you have Aetna Global) . They will take care of everything but airfare for about $35,000(depending on exchange-rate) for one disc, and about $5k per each additional disc. I’m thinking about it, but I’ve had no income since I got hurt.
    It is tempting, as opposed to ‘eating your gun’, but I have to think about the ROI.
    I’m an ‘OLD Fart” and have few productive years left to me.

  312. Any hope of ever having a significant meetup here in Southern California?

  313. Gavin: shut up idiot

    Did you warm his ass?

  314. HAHAHAHAHA! “wtf america hax u had a depression and now u have a giant fuckin army that’s BS u hacker” makes me laugh every.single.time. Thanks, Pups!

  315. A meat-up in SoCal would be cool, as it would be a bike-ride for me. If I didn’t get arrested.

  316. Man, the more you jerks talk about CT, the more I think I should just eat the airfare and go. But it is le expensive.

    you should go

  317. Chris, that’s why I think you might want to get into a clinical study program… if you want, I can sniff around for some in your area.

  318. Closest I’ll get to So Cal is Northern Nevada.

  319. July 17, right?

    If I could take Will, I’d go like a shot…but I can’t…and there is a chance he might need to come to town for job interviews around that time. It would be totally bitchy to leave him hanging…

  320. Did you warm his ass?

    If he’d said it to me out of the blue, I would have. Graham was teaching him what to say to liberals.

  321. A meat-up in SoCal would be cool, as it would be a bike-ride for me. If I didn’t get arrested.

    you should come

  322. Paulitics, I always like the way you’re about answers and getting results. Seriously.

  323. What is the meet up date again? July what?

  324. and there is a chance he might need to come to town for job interviews around that time.

    Huh, why ever would Will go there for job interviews?

    OMG!!! MY HOSTAGE WEDDING!!!! IT’S HAPPENING!! YES, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!!!

  325. Thanks, Mare. I adore you. Just because.

  326. PattyAnn, are you lurking?

  327. Sorry, just saw Mrs. Peel mention the 17th.

  328. Okay, kids, gotta turn in. Celebrity Golf Deathmatch tomorrow morning to the tune of $150, and I haven’t played in months.

    I like throwing money away.

  329. PJM, if you get all excited now, what will you do if/when we actually make an official announcement? Save some energy, girl.

  330. You guys know about the CT spidertree, right?

    http://tinyurl.com/24ywzxn

  331. Crispy, if you can figure out a way to make it over here without being in terrible pain, please try.

    When you put a few of these folks together and add alcohol, it’s crazy-stupid-fun-everybody-gets-molested-no-exceptions.

    Wait, you probably shouldn’t let your wife read that part.

    Just tell her we plan on cornholing all night long.

  332. That’s a six way. And wouldn’t BiW be in the way?

  333. “Just tell her we plan on cornholing all night long.”

    hahahahahahahahahahaha

  334. PJM, if you get all excited now, what will you do if/when we actually make an official announcement? Save some energy, girl.

    probably lose consciousness.

  335. Mare- Did PJM tell you that I’m sharing a room with her and Sohos at the meet-up?

  336. “Mare- Did PJM tell you that I’m sharing a room with her and Sohos at the meet-up?”

    Seriously?

  337. Plus, BiW’s a bud. I gotta at least pretend he’s in.

    As long as there are no midgets. The ones you pick always bite.

  338. I gotta at least pretend he’s in.

    Too easy.

  339. Mare- Did PJM tell you that I’m sharing a room with her and Sohos at the meet-up?

    *laughs hysterically, again

  340. Seriously?

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  341. Mare, where have you been and who signed your hall-pass?

  342. The ones you pick always bite.

    Your knees still sore?

  343. Hi, BiW. I was actually in your neck of the woods but was very busy ferrying my mom to the hospital and rehab center to see my father…….who is doing much better. He has congestive heart failure and will probably have more episodes like the last one.

    I read where you guys met in Tacoma. You didn’t say the name but I was assuming it was the “Engine House.” I’ve been there a few times.

    MCPO, I really thought you sweet talked the ladies into sharing a room.

  344. I took my mom through the Five Mile Drive and was actually hoping I’d run into you.

  345. Mare – I just keep repeating it because PJM finds it so repugnant.

  346. awesome, awesome, awesome video!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLgZ1LWLlko&feature=player_embedded

  347. Mare – I just keep repeating it because PJM finds it so repugnant.

    I hardly find it more mirth provoking than repugnant.

  348. Mare,

    Darling,

    Sugar,

    Sweetie,

    I would have made the the time to come to you, had I known, if only so I could tell Rosetta I met you first.

  349. I took my mom through the Five Mile Drive and was actually hoping I’d run into over you.

    FTFY

    I’m sure you were disappointed mare.

  350. I hardly find it more mirth provoking than repugnant.

    Huh? Try that sentence again. . . in ENGLISH!!!

  351. “Mare,

    Darling,

    Sugar,

    Sweetie,”

    *eyes mare all jealous-like*

  352. Huh? Try that sentence again. . . in ENGLISH!!!

    IT’S FUCKING FUNNY!

  353. I took my mom through the Five Mile Drive and was actually hoping I’d run into you.

    I live more toward the eastern side of the county.

  354. Mare,
    Yes, It was engine house #9. It was noisy as shit, but was pretty cool. It would have been great to meet you there!

  355. IT’S FUCKING FUNNY!

    No it’s not, IT’S FUCKING INCOMPREHENSIBLE!!!!

  356. That is an awesome video.

  357. Mare, you silly bint. I would have stuck around Tacoma an extra day for a chance to meet you. Hell, I’d have played chauffer for your mom.

  358. Or chauffeur, even.

  359. Ok, enough whisky for sedation. ‘Nite folks, Roamy, hope yours are doing well.
    Bless you all, even that heathen, Sky! Smoooch!

  360. BiW, I know you live in ……Federal Way…..I think, but since we’ve talked about the park and I’ve seen pictures of you in it, I was just kind of hoping.

    Chris, the pictures were good. Everyone laughing in them made me laugh.

    Sky, you darn well know BiW’s heart belongs to you.

  361. “Bless you all, even that heathen, Sky! Smoooch!”

    Awww, shucks. *blushes*

  362. Goodnight Chris and remember, you’re not alone in that boat!

  363. “Sky, you darn well know BiW’s heart belongs to you.”

    *puts sharpened knife behind her back* Yeah, you’re right, mare.

  364. BiW, I know you live in ……Federal Way…..I think, but since we’ve talked about the park and I’ve seen pictures of you in it, I was just kind of hoping.

    Nope. Fredrickson. Federal Way is too close to Seattle for my comfort.

  365. Sky – Where did you go to dinner (and did you bring me a doggie bag)?

  366. Are you going to talk about me if I leave the same time as Chrispy? Ok, good.

    Good night, y’all!

  367. Hey! I have good friends that live in Federal Way!!

  368. No it’s not, IT’S FUCKING INCOMPREHENSIBLE!!!!

    goofball, I was translating what I said. yannow, mirth provoking?

  369. Romy’s a quitter.

  370. We went to the Ground Pat’i. The cheesy-spinach-artichoke baked potato is so frakking awesome. *hands over some left over shrimp. ate the whole potato. sorry*

  371. “Fredrickson.”

    I swear I’ve never hear of that.

  372. Will one of you East Coast Hostages do me a solid? Gimme a call at 7am your time? Turns out there isn’t an alarm clock in the house.

  373. “Sky, you darn well know BiW’s heart belongs to you.”

    *puts sharpened knife behind her back* Yeah, you’re right, mare.

    Nobody gets cut but Wiser, and that’s only because he has it coming. Besides, to know me is to loathe me, so it isn’t worth someone getting their pretty face cut up.

  374. Are you going to talk about me if I leave the same time as Chrispy? Ok, good.

    online sex chat!

  375. I swear I’ve never hear of that.

    West of the South Hill area of Puyallup.

  376. Sky – Thanks. I’m off the carbs anyway

    Mare – Half way between McCord and Puyallup.

  377. Okay. Stargate time. BBS.

  378. So none of you nice people will help me out.

    When I miss my flight and have to pay $700 just to get my frail and aged mother home, I’ll remember who my friends are.

  379. nice BBF model btw. They always make me feel good about my body

    hahahaha that is exactly what my big ass body looks like right now ;)

    I agree with Patty Ann about real checkers but my Dad wont even go to the self serve he will throw a fit right in the middle of a store like Lowes or Home Depot and I have seen him set shit down and tell them to go to hell. It’s bad. He is like ” I am paying these prices so that you can afford to pay checkers you damn well better have checkers!”

  380. xBrad – Call the front desk for a wake up call!

  381. I generally like to go to the self checkout, not because of the checkers, but because inevitably the person in line ahead of me is incredibly stupid and just happens to be chatty as fuck as well.

    Look, I’m there to buy stuff, not talk to you about you goddamn grandkids.

  382. MCPO, if I were in a motel, I would. I’m in someone’s house.

  383. Back before synthepop and synthecountry, when girl singers could actually sing:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8r9ZPQ_828&feature=related

  384. Tomorrow at 9/8c: Mongolian Death Worm premiers on SciFi. Watch it. Because how could that not be awesome?

  385. Oh, and her husband, “Sgt. Joe Friday”, kicked ass too!

  386. good night

  387. Good night, Sohos. Sleep long and well.

  388. It is quite intriquing what one finds when one googlies the innertubbies under the search term “super heroine”. I never knew such sites/businesses existed. LOL! Rosetta will love this.

  389. Ember, I meant to tell you about this the other night and forgot. Here’s an older sci fi classic you may not have seen but you definitely should watch:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TckJBvl_uT0

  390. I have not seen that. But now I want to.

  391. Mongolian Death Worm

    The “Nasty Adolf” sounds tame in comparison.

  392. Well, as long as I’m alone here … *snoops through H2 medicine cabinents and photo albums; sneaks a hunk of country ham out of the fridge and into my stomach; turns on big screen tv and scours pay channels for the latest girl on girl action; notices candy dish chock full of dark chocolate morsels … lowers the available number … considerably; has surprise bout of the messican two steps … makes horrible mess in downstairs bathroom; hears back door opening … flees the room.*

  393. You’re not alone here.

    *steps out of the shadows*

  394. *remains seated on the couch, watching the silly happen*

  395. Imagine the colossal arrogance it takes for Obama to call SOMEONE ELSE a “lightweight.”

    Talk about being completely unaware of one’s self.

  396. Oh … hello. I didn’t know anyone was here. *Whistles innocently. Notices extremely hot chick sitting demurely on the couch. Walks over to introduce myself.*

  397. *steps out of the shadows*

    Crap, that scared me.

  398. I have not seen that. But now I want to.

    Oh yes. Silent Running was a total 70’s sci-fi classic.

  399. *fakes shits at sky*

    REEEEEEEEAM!!!!

  400. *Is momentarily distracted by the Obama reference. Flips Obama the bird and continues to couch.*

  401. “*fakes shits at sky*

    REEEEEEEEAM!!!!”

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, stalker!

  402. *Hands Sky fakes tp to clean up the mess on and about her.*

  403. Wow, you Teabaggers sure are entertaining!

  404. I don’t even know what the fuck is going on any more.

  405. >>I don’t even know what the fuck is going on any more.<<

    That's why sheeple like you voted for McCain.

  406. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, stalker!

    I used to camp out up in a palm tree outside of Mare’s place before we met, but she’s moving, so she doesn’t have time for a stalker anymore.

  407. I keep hoping Cyn will put sod in near the bushes. The rock lawn hurts.

  408. *Breaks out trust Ghostbusters apparition detection device and aims same at poutyprogressive to determine the threat level.*

  409. Not that I’m just stalking you out of convenience or anything, Ember.

    That sounds terrible, but, I never know the right thing to say to a woman in whose foliage I’m camping! Damnit, damnit, damnit!

  410. “I used to camp out up in a palm tree outside of Mare’s place before we met, ”

    Good times, good times.

  411. “Not that I’m just stalking you out of convenience or anything, Ember.

    That sounds terrible, but, I never know the right thing to say to a woman in whose foliage I’m camping! Damnit, damnit, damnit!”

    Practice makes perfect.

  412. Ember, want us to sing you a song?

  413. Join the hunger strike! Stop the apartheid in Arizona! Stop the Gestapo tactics now!

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/5/7/864479/-Berkeley-Hunger-Strikers-Enter-5th-DayCome-out-Today!-

  414. Yes, clintbird, regale me with music.

  415. Okay, so both of my stalkees are here now.

    If you wanna mud-wrestle each other, I won’t complain.

  416. did you see, Ember, where I said last night that I liked “Reno?”

  417. In your honor, young lady … a quiet ballot:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yex1yyySpyM

  418. I did not see that, xbrad. Thank you.

  419. hahaha, I love how everyone is ignoring the pretend troll

  420. ballot = ballad. Hmmnn, must be getting near bedtime.

  421. Wow, PJM. You’re looking particularly fetching again this evening:

  422. Sean, hush, she’s younger and prettier and she has plenty of whiskey, you’d be a fool not to stalk “up.”

  423. PJM, was that you?

  424. I’m not a troll, you neocon!!

  425. >>a quiet ballot<<

    LOL!! Dolt

  426. “poutyprogressive”

    hahahahahahahahahaha……..that’s a good fake douchy name

  427. “Sean, hush, she’s younger and prettier and she has plenty of whiskey, you’d be a fool not to stalk “up.””

    *is completely incapable of finding a response to that which isn’t completely damning*

  428. Well, Ember, to be honest, I said I liked the porno guitar in “Reno”

  429. I miss having a recording studio in my house.

  430. “Sean, hush, she’s younger and prettier and she has plenty of whiskey, you’d be a fool not to stalk “up.””

    *is completely incapable of finding a response to that which isn’t completely damning*

    YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!!!!!

    (Please, don’t stop.)

  431. PJM, was that you?

    nope

    I look good in red don’t I clint?

  432. You racists need to wake up and realize that President Obama is our only chance to save America from the Zionist-run International cartels dent on the destruction of the planet. Wise up and read some Chomsky, you chumps. You have been played by the racist zenophobic Rethuglican oligarchy!

  433. dent?

  434. Is “poutyprogressive” Rosetta?

    Only Rosetta wouldn’t say “dent on destruction.” He would say “bent.”

  435. *pats MCPO on head

    you’re cute when you’re retarded

  436. It was a typographical error, you reactionary, in-bred hick.

  437. Obama is dent on destroying the economy.

  438. He’s retarded all the time, but I’ve never thought he was cute…

  439. It’s MCPO????

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  440. I’m going to kick MCPO’s ass…..on his sciatic side.

  441. After I kick his ass his leg will be dent.

  442. PJM cheated!! I know she she checked the IP address! CHEATER!

  443. Hey u lovable fuckstix! Waz shakin?

  444. MCPO, that was pretty good. I loved the typo comment…..hahahahahahahaha

    You were too sweet to be a real troll.

  445. Well, now that PJM has ruined all of my fun, I guess I should toddle off to bed.

  446. Mare- Thank you. My problem is that I’m laughing too hard when I try to do it!

  447. Compos, what do you do for a living?

  448. MCPO, if you go to bed, I want you to have sweet, painless dreams.

  449. Poutyprogressive….still funny!

  450. Mare- I’m going to take a boatload of drugs and sleep the sleep of the innocent.

  451. Well, now that PJM has ruined all of my fun, I guess I should toddle off to bed.

    *gives Chief a glass of warm milk and a handful of sleeping pills*

  452. Oh, and before I go. . . Thanks PJM for stealing the fun of a disabled veteran!!

    *mumbles to himself about cheaters*

  453. Until you mentioned it to Paulitics, I had no idea you were dealing with a bad lower back and legs. I don’t understand daily pain, how people deal with it.

  454. compos is a field sanitation facility test engineer.

  455. C3p0… I try to make this life an enjoyable diversion, if only for a moment. I truly love you retards that much.

  456. My mom gets excruciating pain in her back when the barometer changes. Even that makes makes me cringe hearing about it.

  457. Only Rosetta wouldn’t say “dent on destruction.” He would say “bent.”

    *rolls eyes

    only because he’d go fix it really fast

  458. My mom has the same problem, mare. When it clouds up and starts to rain, she hurts a lot.

  459. Mare – Some days are better than others. There are days when it’s like a dull toothache and days where you want to lay down and cry. I choose to put a smile on my face and deal with it as best I can.

  460. can you guys just please check the ip addresses? Sheesh

    I don’t want to be the only one to spoil mcpo’s fun all the time

    ah hell, yes I do

  461. “only because he’d go fix it really fast”

    hahahahahahah…..exactly.

  462. PJM, for a second, I really thought it was Rosetta doing a late night, post drinking drive by.

  463. hahaha, rosetta usually trolls as

    “guy who _________”

  464. can you guys just please check the ip addresses? Sheesh

    We’ll talk about that when I start getting paid.

  465. We’ve got both PJ and Mare busy being hawt this late at night.

    What a treat.

  466. PJM, stop making sense.

  467. Goodnight you goobers and hawt chicks!

    *gives Master Chief glare to PJM*

  468. PJM, stop making sense.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXgMhnI3QOI

  469. MCPO, ever since the other day when I saw a Master Chief in NWUs, I’m just can’t quite feel anywhere as intimidated.

  470. There can be only three.

  471. *gives Master Chief glare to PJM*

    RAWR chief, you’re sexy when you’re all feisty and shite.

    Maybe I will let you share a bunk with sohos after all.

  472. I’m watching a Criminal Minds “three in a row.”

    I love that show. When I was home with my mom we would have a couple of glasses of wine and watch Criminal Minds marathons together. She loves it too, especially the Derek Morgan character. My 85 year old mom is awesome and fun.

  473. MCPO, ever since the other day when I saw a Master Chief in NWUs underwear, I’m just can’t quite feel anywhere as intimidated intimate.

    seriously, tha’ts how I read it. I need to clean my contacts

  474. I am so hooked on Criminal Minds, mare. I love that show!

  475. My dad is a laugher too. I scored big in the parent department.

    Fun, strict, laughers, common sense, interested in lots of stuff, great vacations, hard workers, loving, sacrificers, yeah, I scored big.

  476. A twenty year old kid was brought up by the Cubs today to start at short stop.

    He hit a three run home run in his first at bat in the majors.

  477. xBad, I’ll probably be awake then. Also, doesn’t your phone have an alarm??

  478. Watch the video — he looks like a little kid.

  479. I am so hooked on Criminal Minds, mare. I love that show!

    I like that show, too, but Greg sure has gotten moody since he and Dharma split up and he joined the FBI.

    Lighten up, Greg!

  480. oh he DOES look like a baby mesa.

    It’s weird how after I got a certain age I become unable to find men younger than me attractive.

  481. Sky, I could watch it all day…..hence, my problem.

  482. Yes, Greg needs to mellow.

    I need to watch Mesa’s video because I love stories like that.

    Also, PattyAnn, I mentioned earlier my husband was in Grapevine yesterday. He really liked it. He has close friends in Coppel (sp) and Southlake. Any thoughts?

  483. It’s Doctor Who that I could watch all day. Generally, once I’ve seen an episode of criminal Minds, I’m good; I don’t need to see it again.

  484. Castro looks about 15. Good for him. I like the passion that the young guys have for the sport (and some old guys).

  485. Also, doesn’t your phone have an alarm??

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  486. It’s weird how after I got a certain age I become unable to find men younger than me attractive.

    It’s the weekend. Fathers, lock up your sons!

  487. Why is my glass empty?

  488. Allow me, sir. *pours BiW some whiskey*

  489. I really appreciate the beauty of a younger man. But I am definitely a look but not interested kind of gal. A young, lean, muscular man in his prime is a thing of beauty much like the statue of David, it’s only to be looked at and appreciated as a work of art.

    IMPORTANT EXCEPTION…I have never watched the show with the Jersey freaks but I’ve seen their pictures all over the internet and I’m repulsed by those loser, posers. ANY guy who tries too hard is gross to me.

  490. Allow me, sir. *pours BiW some whiskey*

    Thank you ma’am.

  491. My phone does indeed have an alarm. I’m just not at all sure I set it correctly.

    Patty, I’ll email you my number. If you do call, I promise to keep the heavy breathing to a minimum.

  492. Any time, BiW.

  493. I hadn’t really planned it that way, but the thought of waking up to hot phone sex with PattyAnn is certainly pleasant.

  494. A young, lean, muscular man in his prime is a thing of beauty much like the statue of David, it’s only to be looked at and appreciated as a work of art.

    Why do you have to say such hurtful things?

  495. Mare, if he was in Grapevine, he was really close to Michael and Cathy. Grapevine’s great, as is Coppell. Grapevine’s also very close to my grandchildren. Grapevine has a very nice lake and a corner of DFW airport is in Grapevine.

  496. PattyAnn, can you email where Michael and Cathy live. I promise it’s just for curiosity purposes, no stalking or contact involved.

  497. “Why do you have to say such hurtful things?”

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I also LOVE a guy who can make me laugh, so there.

  498. I asked him about the airport noise and he said he hadn’t noticed it. We shall see.

  499. I really appreciate the beauty of a younger man. But I am definitely a look but not interested kind of gal

    I just can’t. It’s too icky. Maybe because I have so many young nephews. I dunno.

  500. Sean, I’m sure you look JUST like David when you’re nekkid

  501. I also LOVE a guy who can make me laugh, so there.

    I mostly love women who make me cry. Man, my balls hurt.

  502. I was gonna go read, but I think I’m gonna pass out.

    NYTOL!!!

  503. David Axelrod.

  504. nice BBf tonight, and I was able to stay on long enough to read the whooooooooole thread.
    YAY!!!!

    evening and g’night all

  505. A young, lean, muscular man in his prime is a thing of beauty much like the statue of David, it’s only to be looked at and appreciated as a work of art.

    Shucks.

  506. Sweet dreams, PJM.

  507. Sweet dreams to you too, TGSG.

  508. xBad, I won’t set my alarm but if I’m awake at 6AM Eastern time, I’ll call you.

  509. Alright. Bed time. i’ve had enough.

  510. Sean, I’m sure you look JUST like David when you’re nekkid

    Small dick jokes? Really? Here?

    (Okay, yeah.)

  511. “I just can’t”

    You can’t look? I’m not talking about leering, I’m talking about appreciating.

  512. WAIT GEOFF I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!

    DON’T LEAVE

    *grabs geoff’s ankles

  513. *grabs geoff’s ankles

    A little higher…

  514. You can’t look? I’m not talking about leering, I’m talking about appreciating.

    Yeah, for some reason, I just think “little boy”.

    I do think, awww, he’s a good looking boy, but I can’t be attracted to him is what I’m saying. It’s just not there.

  515. WAIT GEOFF I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!

    Anyway, what kin I do for ya?

  516. A little higher…

    *grabs geoff’s brain

    What am I supposed to be reading?

    The Well Educated Mind?

    Does the book lists books we’ll be reading? Because I saw Augustine and Cervantes and basically all the crap I wanted us to read.

  517. PJM, I said I wasn’t attracted either. You made it sound like you couldn’t look.

  518. *grabs geoff’s brain

    Oh baby. Just be gentle…..OK, not that gentle.

    What am I supposed to be reading?

    The Well Educated Mind is just a guidebook to all the stuff we’re supposed to have read. It divides it up into plays, novels, autobiographies, etc. I think Car in is going to tell us what we need to start with.

  519. Uh, PattyAnn, if it isn’t too much to ask, I was shooting for 7am Eastern, 6 Central.

    I gotta get up at 4 my time.

    Talk to you in a bit.

  520. You can’t look? I’m not talking about leering, I’m talking about appreciating.

    I forget who it was that lost his Man Card the other day, but I think we should award it to mare.

  521. I think Car in is going to tell us what we need to start with.

    She’s not the boss of me! She’s not the real dad!!!

  522. Thank you, Sean. I will accept it.

  523. *brushes mare’s hair out of her eyes
    *puts finger to her lips

    Shhhhhhh!

    There there now. It’s ok.

    PERVERT!!!!!!!!!

  524. Hell, my 85 year old mom appreciates a good looking man and she ADORES my 91 year old father.

  525. http://www.listsofbests.com/list/18321-the-well-educated-mind-full-list

    oh, so it’s basically every book we read in high school.

    ok

  526. 6? Okay.

  527. seriously mare, it’s not you, it’s me. There’s something wrong with me. I like ’em all scraggly and hairy looking.

  528. Okay. I’m off to bed. G’night, Hostagefolks!

  529. I don’t mean scraggly, I mean rugged. I have ever since I was a young girl.

  530. *brushes mare’s hair out of her eyes
    *puts finger to her lips

    Shhhhhhh!

    There there now. It’s ok.

    Dear Penthouse Letters,

    I never thought this would happen in a comment section that I frequent, but…

  531. I never thought this would happen in a comment section that I frequent, but…

    HAHAHAHA!

  532. I think that’s why I don’t like most of the Hunky Hump Day guys. They’re too soft and young looking.

  533. She’s not the boss of me! She’s not the real dad!!!

    As if we’re ever going to do any better.

  534. I think that’s why I don’t like most of the Hunky Hump Day guys. They’re too soft and young looking.

    …and male.

  535. As if we’re ever going to do any better.

    but, but, but she might make us exercise?!?!?!

  536. …and gay male.

    FTFY

  537. Maybe I’ve had a couple too many. I just turned around as I walked away from the restroom, pointed at the hopper, and said, “Don’t ever stop being you.”

    Will that still seem funny tomorrow morning?

  538. Maybe I’ve had a couple too many. I just turned around as I walked away from the restroom, pointed at the hopper, and said, “Don’t ever stop being you.”

    Will that still seem funny tomorrow morning?

    Is tomorrow the day after Easter?

  539. what the hell is a hopper?

  540. damn it! I meant to go to bed forever ago.

  541. what the hell is a hopper?

    Uhhh…the place you leave the hops?

  542. Uhhh…the place you leave the hops?

    works for me

  543. are you on a train?

  544. No, he’s a towel.

  545. hi corky!

  546. Screw you guys, I’m going home to get a beer!

  547. great, who’s turn was it to pretend to care what seanm’s saying?

  548. are you on a train?

    Actually, I don’t know why it’s called a hopper. It’s just what people at my fraternity used to call it when people had upset tummies after drinking too much.

  549. Looks like even Texas isn’t immune to nanny state stupidity:

    http://tinyurl.com/29v4vgj


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