“What is your problem?”

I mean, other than that you showed up dressed for a luau and not a murder trial.

Other than Mare, why do we have this as a state? Seems like more trouble than it’s worth.

Old? Yes. Funny? Not necessarily.

(OMG I spelled that last word right!)

395 Comments

  1. Roman Numeral I carved in stone!!!!

    (Or concrete. They invented concrete.)

  2. Teh Romans, I mean.

  3. *sets this on the turntable as a soother in case PattyAnn wakes up ahead of schedule*

    *preemptively brews pot of coffee for Ca r in*

    *punts cat out of backyard*

  4. *preemptively brews pot of coffee for Ca r in*

    *punts cat out of backyard*

    *** Rubs Sore Butt ***

    Iffin’ ya gotta steal my job with the Coffee, how about takin’ out the Trash too?

    Bastage…..

  5. Good Mornin’ Rosetta. You look like Death with a Hangover in a Red Velvet Motif.

    *** Rubs Eyes ***

    My apologies Sir/Madam. It was BrewFan…

    *** Bends over for the second Kick of the Morning ***

  6. So, the “Boss” is in Washington with “Mom”. Gonna meet up with Chrispy and BiW. Cat is still stuck in the Desert with MeanSeaNm. You can bet ol’ HussyB*t*h “Dolly” got deflated and taken for a Ride. Especially with THAT Crew……

    The Question for the Blog is, “Should the Cat be Jealous”?

    Yeah, I didn’t think so either. I’m still pi**ed I didn’t get to meet Ms. PJM, and Ms. Cyn. On the plus side, I missed AD’s gay pink hat….

  7. Well, I guess no on needs my wakey this morning. Got into a cleaning spree …

    Morning.

  8. Well, I guess no on needs my wakey this morning.

    We always need MinkBikini-Clad “wakey-wakey” s.

  9. Cat, I meant to mention that I was happy you didn’t blowed up. Real life has really been interfering with my hostage time. It’s soccer season – oye – and with four kids in the activity I’m spending half my day driving to and from.

  10. Chicken report!

    Well, not much to report. BUT, Oskar (my 3 y/o shepherd) got really close last night sniffing them. He was really good and gentle. I should have taken a picture. He got his nose right on ’em and gave them a good sniff.

    The cats, though.

    And, bad news. the stray that we’ve taken in … well, I fear she’s a whore slut and knocked up. OYE FACK.

    Sox, do you have anything to admit?

  11. Sox, do you have anything to admit?

    This Tuxedo Cat is Testicle-Free. I…uh….might rub some Whiskers on your ankle though….

  12. AACCKK…off to MouseHunt…

  13. Well, this stray is off to get desexed ASAP.

    I don’t know how this happened. I run a nice Christian family outfit here …

  14. I don’t know how this happened. I run a nice Christian family outfit here …

    Should we call you the Sarah Palin of the Hostages? 🙂

  15. I missed AD’s gay pink hat….

    Pretty funny coming from a pussy….

  16. scottw – that was plain mean.

    At least the insert for our doggie door is opaque – the dogs CAN see it if they pay attention. And coming from the inside going out, it is obvious – but that hasn’t stopped a few pile-ups as the crew goes racing towards the door only to find it blocked. But coming from the outside heading in, the plastic flap that is always there can obscure it – we’d have more than a few good “THUD”s from one or another of them trying to come in when the insert is in.

  17. scottw stunned it, and then I killed it. One very dead poat.

  18. This poat is RACIST!

  19. Of course, saying shit like this:

    this stray is off to get desexed ASAP

    would drive off most of the hostage men PDQ.

  20. This poat is RACIST!

    Islandist?

  21. Gay dwarf killed by taxi:

    http://is.gd/bN6HP

  22. “That is how the Klingon lures a mate”

    Do we really need to know about Michelle Obama’s mating ritual with pansy boy?

    Gross.

  23. Gay dwarf killed by taxi:

    http://is.gd/bN6HP

    *yawn*

  24. *inspects bumper and backseat of Rosetta’s taxi*

  25. Good morn.

  26. Sean,
    Hawaii is a good strategic military location. It was even more important before nuclear powered ships.

    Also, residents of Hawaii were very patriotic up until a bunch of leftists and hippies fled to the state in the 60s. Before that it was extremely patriotic. To the point that the Japanese residents who were locked up during WWII wanted nothing more than to fight for our country to show their patriotism.
    Read about the 442: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/442nd_Infantry_Regiment_%28United_States%29
    I interviewed a couple of survivors of the 442 who lived in my neighborhood growing up, those guys were top notch.

    Hawaii achieved statehood in 1959. In the 60s hippies and drop outs from the mainland flooded in, changing the politics and the outlook.

  27. L to R: Rosetta, beasn

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXoczxzwYk#t=0m45s

  28. I understand Leigh Scott’s sentiment here: http://tinyurl.com/24lfhx5

    I don’t agree with it, but I understand it.

  29. Morning.

    For some reason, the router kicked me off last night. I kicked it a few times this morning, and it seems to be cooperating.

  30. L to R: Rosetta, beasn

    “Police taser woman” – I was so hoping Stink, Stewart Copeland, and Andy Summers would be tasing some woman while “Every Breath You Take” played in the background.

  31. Jazz, I understand the sentiment, but he got a little overenthusiastic there at the end.

    That’s one problem I have when people talk about “evil Dems.” Most folks who identify as Dems are not evil. The foolishly pursue policies that have evil, or at least bad, outcomes, but they don’t have murderous intent.

  32. Don’t ask, don’t tell:

  33. This poat smell of dead gay midgets, Rosetta’s ass, and redundancy.

  34. Jazz, I understand the sentiment, but he got a little overenthusiastic there at the end.

    I agree. These are the three of Leigh’s comments that stick out in my mind:

    In addition to being rather funny, the Geico incident makes me sad. I work with these people. I know these people. Life isn’t all politics, all the time, so many of these people are my friends. My heart sinks a little when I see that cute actress I know voice her support for some goofy leftist Facebook page. Most of these people are good people. No, they are great people. The insidiousness of leftist thought is that it preys upon good people’s desire to be, well, good. That little actress just wants to help. She doesn’t understand the ramifications or implications of what she supports because she, like all of us, is lied to on a daily basis.

    I agree that most lefties want to be good people. I won’t go so far as to say they are good people, though, because many of them engage in vitriolic rhetoric and hateful actions toward Tea Partiers and conservatives. Irrespective of motivation, bad acts are bad acts, and perpetrators of bad acts are bad actors – or bad people. Is that stiff? Yes. The line of demarcation is pretty clear, though – if one does bad stuff intentionally, one is a bad person even if the bad act is committed in furtherance of what one perceives to be a noble end.

    D.C. was just trying to do the right thing.

    Bullshit. D.C. was trying to be an inflammatory fucking prick. And he succeeded spectacularly.

    D.C. Douglas is a hero. He is a patriot and a true defender of free speech. Unlike the anonymous snipers on the internet, he put himself on the line and had to deal with the consequences of voicing his opinion.

    BULLSHIT. D.C. Douglas is no hero. He’s an antagonist who intentionally harassed a political adversary with vile, pejorative comments and mockery. The fact that he left his real name and number doesn’t add to or subtract from his integrity; he left the message as a statement of mockery and disapproval of FreedomWorks, and THAT’s the take-away from this brouhaha.

  35. I agree with Jazz. I know many lefties that have that same smug, arrogant, condescending, sarcastic demeanor.

    They’re pricks. They know it. And they’re proud of it.

    The prick gt what he deserved.

    The fact that he later whined and cried is evidence that he is a coward – not a hero.

    Words mean something.

  36. Shame on all of you. You have engaged in the some of the most honest discussion on politics in America today. And I’m pretty sure that the heel spur and the agony it causes me is your fault too, you freaking TOWELS!!!

  37. Reason #43 why I don’t FaceChimp:

    http://is.gd/bNaoC

  38. Reason #43 why I don’t FaceChim

    Actually, that’s reason No. 1 why I don’t do any of the social networking sites. That, and Obama has specifically indicated that his administration intends to mine the social networking sites for as much information on people as it can get. I will not be among the people about whom the Obama administration will have info.

  39. Cuffy, I’m amused by the personal information and details about their lives that idiots post on the web, especially Facebook.

  40. Yep, compos.

    The day I was able to dig up everything on an ex because she shared a friend with a friend of my wife’s account — and realized the exact same trail could be blazed back to my own stuff — was the day I vowed never to use FB.

    And that’s independent of all the insidious corporate data mining mentioned in my linked article.

  41. I forgot about this, it’s pretty good:

  42. I agree with Jazz. I know many lefties that have that same smug, arrogant, condescending, sarcastic demeanor.

    They’re pricks. They know it. And they’re proud of it.

    And therefore we shall meet them in the workplace, in our neighborhoods, at our kids’ little league games, at chuch, in the grocery store, on their blogs, and on freinds’ Facebook pages.
    We will meet them with the force of logic.
    We will meet them with inconvenient facts.
    We will take their unsustainable memes, and shatter them with hammers of truth until they run in fear, with much wailing, gnashing of teeth, and cries of “RAAAACCCIIIIISSSSMMMMM!!!!!
    We do so to preserve our nation, and our sanity.
    We do so because we refuse to consign our children and our childrens’ children to lives in servitude to the stupid, to the indolent, to the craven, to the greedy, and to those who barter in the currency of lies.
    We stand.
    We stand alone. We stand in small groups. We stand united. But we always stand. We stand resolute, and refuse to be carried off in the tide of everything that is what this country is not.
    *crouches down, scoops up a handful of earth, smells it, rubs it on hands, stands back up, looks around*

    WE STAND.

  43. They’re pricks. They know it. And they’re proud of it.

    Yep and inflicted with a heavy dose of anger and envy of those who work hard and succeed. (my relations to a tee)

  44. I lived in Phoenix for a while, it’s a nice city.

    It will be interesting to see how this pans out. Even if they reverse some of the points in the law, it will be interesting to see if crime drops while they enforce the law.

    I feel like America has turned into Bizarro world over the last three years. I was thinking about this the other day and realized that we have an entire generation that grew up outside of the cold war. They don’t understand the threat of communism and socialism. They have no idea about how bad a large government can be. That thought made me feel old, but also sad. I didn’t weep, but I definitely feel sad for our country.

    When we go to Europe I make a point of taking my kids to relics of the cold war, and museums such as The Museum of Communism, specifically so they can see how evil large and oppressive governments can be.

  45. They don’t understand the threat of communism and socialism.

    Hence “We’re all socialists now.”

  46. BIWIC,
    Yup. An entire generation that is ignorant of the horrors of far left ideology, that has been educated by leftists.

    It’s a sad sad situation, and it’s getting more and more absurd.

  47. I liked MOST of what I saw of Phoenix. There were a couple things that were irritating, such as the traffic enforcement photos. But overall, I enjoyed it.

  48. *crouches down, scoops up a handful of earth, smells it, rubs it on hands junk, stands back up, looks around*

    FTFY

  49. Baracky to BiWIC:

    Shut up and sit.

  50. They don’t understand the threat of communism and socialism.

    There is a reason why government run schools do not teach of such things anymore. Hitler, Stalin, just didn’t put the right people in to implement such noble ideology.

  51. Whatchya doin’, Roamy?

    http://news.yahoo.com/video/science-15749654/19376843

  52. Rosetta?

    http://tinyurl.com/24mrp79

  53. Baracky to BiWIC:

    Shut up and sit.

    I’ll shut up when I’m dead.

  54. Just found out that the gf’s ex lost his job at the start of the month – after my GF paid bills in reliance on the child support payment that’s not coming. Oh – he never told us about getting fired, either; we had to wait to find out until the child support was late. Kids are now uninsured. $1600 in auto repairs waiting to be done on her car. Gah. This sucks so bad.

  55. Jazz, sounds like the guy is a real peach whose concern is not with his kids. Not even a heads-up, huh?

  56. Parents, the perfect gift for your little racists in training:

    http://tinyurl.com/23vgqpp
    http://tinyurl.com/2emlcwp

  57. Obutthole in Quincy –

    …”We’re not, we’re not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that’s fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money. But, you know, part of the American way is, you know, you can just keep on making it if you’re providing a good product or providing good service. We don’t want people to stop, ah, fulfilling the core responsibilities of the financial system to help grow our economy.”…

    via Hotair

  58. Not even a heads-up, huh?

    Nothing. This is awful. Our relationship is already strained right now, too. Man, I hope we can weather this.

  59. I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.

    That says it all right there. Fuck you, socialist. FUCK YOU.

  60. *crouches down, scoops up a handful of earth, smells it, rubs it on hands, stands back up, looks around*

    WE STAND.

    The first rule of Drama Club is, we don’t talk about Drama Club.
    The second rule of Drama Club is, BiW is enormously homosexual.

    NTTAWWT

  61. Well Jazz, it isn’t her fault if her ex is an ass. Time for a sit down to discuss what to do and what kind of pressure you feel you’re under…i.e. your job SUCKS and you’re worried you may be next for the chopping block.

  62. Jazz, my Obama-voting family would agree with Obama’s sentiment. Ain’t right that some people are being paid that much when they do not have the talent or the luck to get it for themselves.

  63. Talk to her Jazz. Don’t hold it in, that’s too stressful. Talk it out then walk it off. If that doesn’t work, talk it out then go see a movie by yourself, then eat pizza. Talk, then cool off.

  64. Jazz, it would really suck if the actions (or inactions) of that butt-hole would cause damage to your relationship with your woman. Hope the two of you can seperate the shit-you-cause-yourselves from the shit-other-people-cause. The first you deal with together – the second you try to laugh at together.

  65. Shit.

    Did I just call a guy I’m actually going to meet this Summer, a homo?

    *thinks about the potential for payback*

    Are you a big guy, BiW? Or kind of shrimpy? Are you a fast runner? Could you outrun your average hunchback, do you think?

  66. I have never understood that mentality. What’s it to them how much I make, or others make.

    Mind your own fucking business you leeches and thieves.

  67. lauraw – I think the proper term is metrosexual.

  68. Laura,
    He could catch you if it wasn’t for all that dick he sucks. His knees are shot.

  69. Are you a big guy, BiW?

    lauraw – if you were in our POL collection, you’d now know just what kind of trouble you are in.

  70. It’s hard to catch a hunchback with a rubber fist lodged up your ass.

  71. No, I don’t think BiW’s a metrosexual. Wrong vibe. Plus, there was talk of holding the line, and grinding dirt into his hands.
    A metrosexual would never risk a beating or his manicure.

  72. It’s hard to catch a hunchback with a rubber fist lodged up your ass.

    You have BiW confused with Rosetta.

  73. A metrosexual would never risk a beating or his manicure.

    Especially not a lawyer. Sigh. You’re right.

    But still in a WHOLE lot o’ trouble.

  74. Agile, with regret, no can do.

    There’s people out there in internet-land that really, really, really don’t like me.

  75. lauraw, let bygones be bygones and indulge in a great big ol’ bear hug when you meet BiW.

  76. Well, when you hang out at a place like Ace’s, you’re bound to make friends and influence people. 🙂

    I have nowhere near the exposure you do, and don’t link my online presence to my meatspace persona.

  77. a great big ol’ bear hug

    That’s a hint, isn’t it.

  78. Whoa, over the last week I lost around five facebook friends.

    What the fuck?

    No way to know who it was. Oh well.

  79. Errands – bbl.

  80. Well Jazz, it isn’t her fault if her ex is an ass.

    Talk to her Jazz. Don’t hold it in, that’s too stressful.

    Jazz, it would really suck if the actions (or inactions) of that butt-hole would cause damage to your relationship with your woman.

    Y’all are awesome, and you’re all correct. My problem isn’t with the asshole ex, it’s with how GF deals with adversity and how she chooses to face it. I understand pain, uncertainty, etc. I even understand the inclination to isolate and shut down. What I don’t get is the acceptance of my financial help, yet being held at an emotional distance. She keeps pushing me away, and there’s a chasm between us. I’m afraid this may make things even worse. I feel like Evel Kneival jumping the Snake River Canyon – except someone just moved the launch ramp back about a mile.

  81. That’s a hint, isn’t it.

    Un uh. Almost a cluebat.

  82. Great. I schedule a meetup with BiW, and NOW Laura tells me he’s a ‘mo.

    Just so you know, BiW, I don’t put out on the first date.

    Often.

  83. What’s it to them how much I make, or others make.

    They want to know how much they can steal from you.

  84. Laura,
    He is a big dude.

    With broken down knees.

  85. Just so you know, BiW, I don’t put out on the first date.

    Careful, BiW – sounds like xbrad’s “in the tank” for you.

  86. “What I don’t get is the acceptance of my financial help, yet being held at an emotional distance. She keeps pushing me away, and there’s a chasm between us. ”

    That would piss me off.

    Talk it out.

  87. That’s a hint, isn’t it.

    Heh.

  88. Laura,
    In real life, are you an attractive woman?

  89. In real life, are you an attractive woman?

    God, I hope so. Even “not unattractive” would be an okay answer. That hump schtick, though, seriously gives me the willies.

  90. Ha!

    That hump schtick seems like she is hiding something.

  91. Late to the DC Douglas conversation:

    I work with a woman who I’ve known for 17 years. She grew up in a small west TX town a hundred or so miles from where I grew up. All of our life experiences are very similar. The first time I walked in to her office she had a “Democratic National Party – Member” sticker in her window. I thought it was strange as I don’t know very many of these types. After getting to know her and her husband better I found that they are 1) bitterly opposed to the entitlement mentality created by the welfare state, 2) hugely in favor of capital punishment in cases of rape and murder, 3) pro-military (their son served two tours in Iraq), 4) against abortion on demand, 5) against racial quota systems in the workplace and universities, and on and on. One day after a discussion on one of these issues I said, “You know something Sal, you and your husband don’t talk much like Democrats. You’re a member of the DNC but all of your core beliefs are a lot closer to being planks in the Republican platform.” Her response, “My daddy voted for FDR in ’40 and ’44 and has voted a straight D ticket ever since. He just can’t bring himself to vote for a Republican. Democrats are the party of the people ya know.” I’m pretty sure she and her husband have voted for Republicans since her daddy died. But there’s still quite a bit of that in rural areas. Voting patterns passed down from parents and another era without really thinking about whether the party your voting for alligns with your beliefs.

  92. There’s people out there in internet-land that really, really, really don’t like me.

    Laura, only people who are in PoL can get in, and no one on this site would betray you.

  93. Shit.

    Did I just call a guy I’m actually going to meet this Summer, a homo?

    *thinks about the potential for payback*

    Are you a big guy, BiW? Or kind of shrimpy? Are you a fast runner? Could you outrun your average hunchback, do you think?

    lauraw…

    Dear. Darling. Sweetheart.

    Do you think that I would ever hurt the one person who conferred moron status on me despite the fact that I did not join this motely crew by association with the Mothership?

    Ain’t. Gonna. Happen.

    And my pitching arm is pretty good, which means I don’t have to outrun anyone. I just have to take them down in one throw.

  94. Laura, only people who are in PoL can get in, and no one on this site would betray you.

    Oh. Oops.

    I’ve seen a partial pic of Laura taken while Dave was doing his oceanographic exploration of Long Island Sound. Looked pretty good to me.

  95. What I don’t get is the acceptance of my financial help, yet being held at an emotional distance. She keeps pushing me away, and there’s a chasm between us.

    Probably more than a couple of emotional responses at work here. Accepting financial help is painfully embarrassing for many people. She probably never thought she would be in a dependent situation at this point in her life. It makes her feel low. When you feel low, you don’t think of yourself as especially lovable.

    She also feels weird about your relationship and how it now involves money. And that she OWES you. Like, if she shows gratitude or even normal affection, she’ll think of herself as a whore and that is also intolerable.

    Which creates this strange situation where the better you take care of her, the more embarrassed and distant she must become.

    Does that sound about right? I’m just spitballin’ here.

  96. Ha. OC says I’m censoring her. The proof? Her comments – the ones I supposedly censored – aren’t there.

    VIOLA.

    Liberal rational thought.

  97. Car in, FYI, I haven’t touched any comments there for a couple weeks.

  98. Dem Congressman agrees with Beck on the Puerto Rico vote: http://tinyurl.com/259dgjx

  99. Do you think that I would ever hurt the one person who conferred moron status on me despite the fact that I did not join this motely crew by association with the Mothership?

    You found us from sohos didn’t you?

    *grabs pitchfork

    Let’s get her!

  100. There’s people out there in internet-land that really, really, really don’t like me.

    That hump schtick seems like she is hiding something.

    A wonderful wit that slices, a few glimpses of a truly kind heart…….throw a sheet over the hump and enjoy her radiating beauty.

  101. Jazz, promise that if you give me money, I will not be embarrassed.

    I have NO shame.

    none.

  102. Basically, you just have to tell her that you still think the world of her, you don’t think any less of her for her situation, that you know she is not using you, and that it’s ok to accept your help, because family takes care of each other and she is part of your family and please stop acting weird about it.

    As long as all of that is true, of course.
    If it’s not true, be honest with yourself about it.

  103. *sigh

    fine

    what lauraw said. all of it.

    but still, if you wanna give me money. I’m here.

  104. I am not a counselor but Laura seems to be dishing out some good advice.

    My advice…Don’t start the conversation by saying, “Satan is working through you to get to me.”

    Bad thing to do.

  105. PJM,
    What would you do for a $20.00?

  106. “Satan is working through you to get to me.”

    HAHAHAHA!

  107. Hah!
    Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

  108. What would you do for a $20.00?

    thanks for getting a commercial stuck in my head

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwpBNEg7wgE

  109. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Listen, a man needs sex.

  110. Yea, Xbrad. She’s a loony.

    I know of no comments of hers that have been messed with since my avatar was fixed.

    I think she’s glug-glugging during the day.

  111. Just tell her to shut up and get on your horse.

  112. She probably never thought she would be in a dependent situation at this point in her life. It makes her feel low. When you feel low, you don’t think of yourself as especially lovable.

    A valid point, lauraw, and one I constantly try to keep in mind when evaluating our situation.

    Which creates this strange situation where the better you take care of her, the more embarrassed and distant she must become.

    Does that sound about right?

    It’s certainly a viable explanation, and one to which I give a lot of deference. It (more or less) is the lens through which I view our current situation. You’ve put it more succinctly that I would have, but I think that’s it in a nutshell.

    The thing is, I have no real attachment to cash, and my financial assistance is a non-issue for me in and of itself; it’s no different than asking for a ride to the dentist. I don’t really keep a scorecard or anything. She’s reducing our relationship ONLY to that, though, and that’s where I get . . . however it is how I get. Concerned. A little short. Confused. Frustrated.

    Thanks for your insight. Your candor and clarity of thought is a great help.

  113. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    What’s up with all the bitchery?

    *actually used this once. Opened up what could have been a quick fix conversation into an epic all day Battle Royale. I was kicking myself 20 minutes into it.

  114. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Maybe you should just have a salad.

  115. header pic — heh

  116. BREAKING: Michelle Malkin is NOT white!

    http://tinyurl.com/2cpw6tm

  117. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Look, you know you’re wrong, I know you’re wrong.

    Just admit I’m right and take your top off.

  118. I have NO shame.

    none.

    From a woman who can finish washing a sink full of dishes while delivering a baby and standing in her own placenta?

    Say it isn’t so!!!

    😛

  119. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I didn’t mean you had to douche right now … just sometime soon.

  120. Blanche Lincoln’s clock isn’t being cleaned, it’s broken: http://tinyurl.com/28y9wft

  121. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Mini-van!!!

  122. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    SPACE PEN!!!

  123. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Here, try some jenkem.

  124. Interesting drive-by on the healthcare bill at American Thinker. This is not a long article, but it IS interesting:

    http://tinyurl.com/2cafzlz

  125. Laura,
    In real life, are you an attractive woman?

    Yes, she is.

    The whole hunchback/goofy avatar thing is even funnier once you’ve met Laura.

  126. Chart of the Day, Newspaper Health Edition: http://tinyurl.com/2at2h8s

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Fuck you, lefties.

  127. Speaking of flowers, does anyone here have “flower carpet roses”? If so, are they any good?

  128. Damn it!
    Just made a pass at my hot wife and was shot down like a Japanese Zero.

  129. Michael,
    What does she look like in real life?

  130. Obama and his draconian response to free speech, through the eyes of a child:

    http://tinyurl.com/32cxn9f

    /See what I did there? No Nazi comparison?

  131. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Daddy’s Fingers.

  132. Damn it!
    Just made a pass at my hot wife and was shot down like a Japanese Zero.

    Hahahahah! Well, it’s edifying to know that you’re not getting any, either. 😀

  133. We had snow last night.

    FUUUUCK…End of April and the forecast is for snow for the next three days.

    I am ready to bike, this is driving me nuts.

  134. What does she look like in real life?

    Like you would hit it in a New York minute if you got the chance.

  135. This was me this morning, will be me tomorrow morning, and maybe over the weekend:
    http://tinyurl.com/28586nc

  136. Who are we boycotting, again?

    http://tinyurl.com/2gy2uwd

  137. Michael,

    Saying I would hit it in a New York minute doesn’t help much.

  138. I personally boycott Roman Polanski films, but that’s about it.

  139. I do NOT boycott Thai restaurants, Mexican restaurants, or Irish pubs.

    Same with Pizza joints and BBQ places.

  140. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    What do you mean “I’m pregnant”?

    Didn’t I tell you that I’m sterile?

  141. Good WSJ article on the Constitutionality of the healthcare bill: http://tinyurl.com/35×4659

  142. Saying I would hit it in a New York minute doesn’t help much.

    You’re not making sense. What else could you possibly need to know?

    There is no hump on her back. She has two humps on her front. Happy now?

  143. I spend a lot of my time on this blog.

    This blog is a clock gobbler.

  144. Truth — http://i.imgur.com/csGGf.jpg

  145. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriendwife” (I haven’t had a girlfriend in….*checks calendar*……27 years, 5 months)

    You’re right, I was wrong, **said without much conviction** get your ass in the shower. I’ll be waiting.

  146. Sorry to hear you are going through a tough patch Jazz.
    I think you received some fine advice.

    Plan B:
    “Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.”
    Homer Simpson

  147. Mesa at 12:25

    Might be handy to remember her name in case she ends up on top and you can’t breathe.

  148. On David Frum:

    He’s ruined his reputation across the entire GOP and conservative establishment. Now, he sees a bunch of mostly young so called conservatives desperately seeking legitimacy before they’ve matured enough to genuinely deserve it. I honestly believe he’s simply playing to them to develop a following of some kind. If he weren’t in politics, he’d be stocking candy and porn in the back of a van and prowling schoolyards. Ultimately, perhaps society really is better served if he stays around politics, where he can get his jollies off, without doing too much harm to anyone.

    Hahahahahahahahahahah!

    http://tinyurl.com/23z28eh

  149. This blog is a clock gobbler.

    That, ‘spur, was downright hilarious!

  150. “Truth — http://i.imgur.com/csGGf.jpg

    HA!

  151. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    So, who was he?

  152. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I knew I should have married your sister.

  153. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    “So the three-way with your sister is out? How about your best friend?”

  154. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Whoa, excuse me (flaps hands in the air to dissipate smell), sorry, I had a burrito for lunch, now what were you saying?

  155. PattyAnn, ever get the feeling you’re talking to yourself?

    You Should.

  156. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    It doesn’t matter what pants you wear, your ass always looks fat.

  157. I just realised something. Michigan kinda looks like Rosettas famous minivan.

    The upper peninsula looks like two fingers and the lower part looks like a fist.

    Michigan’s new motto: Come for the unemployment – stay for the minivan.

  158. The upper peninsula looks like two fingers and the lower part looks like a fist.

    *squints at map sideways*

    Wha?

  159. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    First, let me just say that I didn’t mean to fuck your mom, we were drunk.

  160. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Before we discuss the issue I just need to know, is there any chance in us having sex tonight?

  161. First, let me just say that I didn’t mean to fuck your mom, we were drunk.

    One night, with a girlfriend from long ago, I made steady, aggressive passes at her mom all night long.

    Yes, I was drunk.

    Very, very, very, very drunk.

    It was my birthday. What can I say?

  162. Madre mio, hijo de una grandissima puta de la calle!

    Que tal, tontorones?

  163. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I’m going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Pajama Momma

  164. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Man, crying really makes you look like shit.

  165. Hahahahaha.

    Best header photo ever.

    Beautiful flowers can SUCK IT!!

  166. Break time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwfmfMBLZiM

  167. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Ok, I know this sounds strange, but when you cry it gives me an erection.

  168. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Do you mind if I masturbate while we talk?

  169. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I gotta take a shit, lets continue this conversation in the bathroom.

  170. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    If you can just be fucking open minded about this we can work something out!

  171. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Does your vagina contract when you sob?

  172. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    If we don’t get this resolved soon, you can just forget about having sex for QUITE A LONG WHILE.

  173. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I think we need to talk about Kegel exercises.

  174. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Why didn’t you tell me your ex boyfriend was black!

  175. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    So, I measured my dick today…..

  176. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Can we wrap this up quick? Football game’s starting soon.

  177. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    “If you think I was wrong, you are sadly-fucking-mistaken!”

  178. ““Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    So, are you gonna make me a sammich before you start flapping your gums or what?

  179. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    You can’t handle the truth!

  180. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    First off, shut yer yammering pie hole!

  181. ““Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen? And who gave you those shoes?

  182. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Do you smell fish?

  183. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Can you shift a little to the left? I can’t see the TV.

  184. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Try not to get hysterical.

  185. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Please don’t get angry when I ask this, but, have you started your period?

  186. ““Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Are you on the rag again already?

  187. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    HOW much did you spend on that piece of crap?

  188. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Is your sister dating anyone right now?

  189. Say what? NCAA tournament expanded to 68 teams.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=5148689

  190. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Can you hurry up? I’m meeting the boys at Al’s bar in half an hour.

  191. Jewstin! You pirating the nieghbor’s WIFI again? Or did they finally get the internet under your parent’s basement stairs?

  192. >> “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    You remember when I said I was just kidding about me and your sister?

  193. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Your Mom gives a better blowjob. You should ask her for some tips.

  194. I snuck out of the cellar.

  195. >> “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I’m not sure how it’s pronounced, but I believe it’s menage-a-trois.

    /Costanza

  196. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    I’m sorry, but as much as I enjoy poon, your cooter’s like fish-cannery theme park.

  197. Heh — http://i.imgur.com/ziggY.jpg

  198. You take my hand,
    I’ll take your hand
    Together we may get away
    This much madness
    is too much sorrow
    It’s impossible
    to make it today.

    http://tinyurl.com/5x9mhb

  199. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Stop trying to talk with your mouth full.

  200. Only the geeks wwilll get this. Oh wait:

    @wilw: If you wanted to read a post on my blog that features a memory about @BrentSpiner, your wait is finally over: http://bit.ly/b6Ulc1

    @BrentSpiner: @wilw –I don’t remember “Night Court.” In fact, I don’t remember you.

    @wilw: @BrentSpiner Remember when you lived on the spaceship, and were a robot? I drove the spaceship … and saved everyone from time to time.

    @BrentSpiner: @wilw –Oh, are you Ashley Judd’s friend? I remember her.

  201. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    My ex was never this high-maintenance.

  202. Stop trying to talk with your mouth full.

    Ohhhh, that’s my humpback hussy!!

  203. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    You paid $200 dollars for that dress? Hell, I coulda made it, and I can’t sew.

  204. >> “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Did you happen to get a letter from the Dept. of Health?

  205. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Pull my finger.

  206. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    Yes, I AM wearing your thong….

  207. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    No, Rosetta isn’t actually a girl. . .

  208. You know what’s awkward?

    When your wife turns to you and says “Who is RoamingFireHydrant?

  209. No, Rosetta isn’t actually a girl. . .

    Hahahahahah – I think I was here two weeks before I believed that!

  210. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Wouldn’t you feel better if you were making me a sandwich?

  211. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Herpes…….well yeah, of course I knew. It just never seemed like the right time….

  212. Pull my finger.

    Good one!

  213. oops looks like I’m planting my seed in DiT’s freshly plowed field

  214. LauraW – DON’T BE STEALING MY SHTICK!!!

  215. “Wouldn’t you feel better if you were making me a sandwich?”

    I will be using that

  216. (L to R) Mare, xBrad

    http://tinyurl.com/2fomed6

  217. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Hump? I just thought you were pregnant!

  218. Welcome to Arizona, my friend!

    http://tinyurl.com/242gmuk

  219. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    Why when “we talk” is it always just me listening?

  220. Who did what!?!?

    http://tinyurl.com/2695pju

  221. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    Why when “we talk” is it always just me listening?

    To Close To The Edge My Bruthah.

  222. To Close To The Edge My Bruthah

    At least it’s not raaaaacist. 🙂

  223. One of these things is not like the others,
    One of these thing just isn’t the same. . .

    http://tinyurl.com/2f8ndcn

  224. Who did what!?!?

    http://tinyurl.com/2695pju

    A long time spent at sea will make even the most grotesque beings look like acceptable mates. Or so I’ve been told. Maybe you would care to share your experiences?

  225. One of these things is not like the others,
    One of these thing just isn’t the same. . .

    I’m counting two. I’ll go back and look again.

  226. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    What? Sorry, didn’t hear that. I was looking at your tits.

  227. What? Sorry, didn’t hear that. I was looking at your tits.

    *Stares into space dreamily and half smiles*

    Yeah, that’s a good one….

  228. I wasn’t aware of this, apparently the University of Southern California is a pretty conservative school.

    Anyone else know this?

  229. *squints at uniball*

    You’re coming up with some good assholery. How is your relationship with your better half?

  230. “Most Likely To Be The Last Phrase Uttered When Smoothing Things Over With Your Girlfriend Goes Belly Up”

    “I was only in it for the pussy anyway. “

  231. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    You’re making me miss my ex wife.

  232. Good WSJ article on the Constitutionality of the healthcare bill: http://tinyurl.com/35×4659

    What does it matter when the insurance companies go out of business?

  233. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    You really should do something about those dark roots.

  234. AgileDog, always.

  235. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    Is this one of those “I need to be listened to” things or one of those “men are scum” things that you’ve included me in again?

  236. Beasn,
    It is good, about 95% of the time. But when it’s bad, whoa boy, I go down in a ball of flames.

    I have never won an argument with her, she knows when she is wrong and shuts down the conversation before she has to admit it, so when we do argue I am usually pretty wrong going into it.

    I do crazy shit to try to get the argument to stop. The other day she was watching a Kitty Kelley interview about Opra. I said something earlier that day that was offensive, so when I came into the room and started eating she put the TV on pause and looked at me, ready to go. I said, with a mouthful of food, “Kitty Kelley, Kitty Kelley, look Kitty Kelley”. It sounded more like “Kiddie Kelley, mmmfm..Kiddi Kelley, mmfn”. It got her laughing and I bolted.

    This tradition goes back to the first month of our marriage. She was complaining about how I set up the tape deck, she wouldn’t shut up about it. I kept trying to get her to stop and finally said, “I’ll give you something good to complain about” then I leaned against her and farted.

    We have a great marriage, but I can be a total ass. Other than that, I am loyal and provide, but I can be an ass.

  237. >> “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Do chicks store fat in their thighs? I heard that somewhere.

  238. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Cuddle? Fuck that shit. I’m tired. And lube. You might look into it.

  239. beasn,
    A good friend who is much smarter than I am read an article on the psychology behind slot machines. He stated that the same psychology is why my wife is still with me. Every so often the bells go off and it’s exciting for her.

  240. 121 flings?

    What’s next? Tiger Woods has teh AIDS?

  241. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    If I say I’m sorry and take the blame, will you just shut up and cook something?

  242. Drive time. Later, fellators.

  243. PA: I’d stay and talk, but the wife called a few minutes ago and needs me to swing by the business. Gotta go.

    Later, jackholes.

  244. Every so often the bells go off and it’s exciting for her.

    HAHAHAHA…I wasn’t insinuating nuttin’….though the fart thing took me right there.

    Guy I used to work with would toot under the covers and hold them over his wife’s head. That would be a justifiable homicide.

  245. Man, I feel like a pile of poo. I might need to have a cheat meal to cheer me up.

  246. Good WSJ article on the Constitutionality of the healthcare bill: http://tinyurl.com/35×4659

    What will it matter when the insurance companies all go out of business?

  247. Guy I used to work with would toot under the covers and hold them over his wife’s head.

    Otherwise known as a Dutch Oven.

  248. beasn,
    I would never hot pocket on my wife, that’s just cruel.
    We actually have a great relationship. I come on to her about once a day, find her extremely attractive. She is also one of the funniest and smartest people I have ever met.
    Even though I can be a prick, she brings out the best in me and she knows I think she is fantastic.

    so in the end, I try to make up for my asshole statements and behavior by treating her well.

    I even said one earlier today that got me in a little trouble. I came on to her twice, the second time she got pissed because she was doing some work, I said, “All I need is a couple of minutes of your time.”

    Her ass, oh my god, exquisite.

  249. Her ass, oh my god, exquisite.

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  250. “Pics or it didn’t happen.”

    No way Jose.

  251. Her ass, oh my god, exquisite.

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

    I’m gettin’ ‘Fierce Scorpion’ flashbacks here…

  252. Gotta go! Senior’s Early Bird specials are only good until 6:00 PM.

  253. “While at first glance the idea seems perfect and a satisfying bit of instant karma, some people are worried that the use of the Rape-aXe would only lead to further violence against the victim.”

    http://tinyurl.com/26p49ms

    Gee, ya think?

  254. “All I need is a couple of minutes of your time.”

    That sounds like my husband.

    We have a great relationship too, and he has to be the nicest person I have ever met. Of the two of us, I am more the prick…though…come to think of it, never to him. He’s a good soul….with typical man behaviors that can drive me nuts…but those are silly looking at the big picture.

  255. Yeah, the dentata only really works if it comes with a built-in knockout injection, like in Snow Crash.

  256. Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend

    It’s not you, it’s m … Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? It’s you, bitch.

  257. I’m gettin’ ‘Fierce Scorpion’ flashbacks here…

    Nothing ever disappears forever down the Hostage memory hole.

  258. What is this Fierce Scorpion?

  259. He promised nudie pics of his wife for PoL — and told us we were idiots on a daily basis.

  260. instead of bothering to waste time reading 100s of comments about diets, kitchen utensils, and Xbrad’s continued involuntary celibacy, anything of interest happen here today?

  261. I shot a manatee.

  262. I shot a manatee.

    …just to watch him die?

  263. I shot a manatee.

    In other words, he pinched off a big loaf.

  264. Has Roamie been around?

    http://tinyurl.com/264ec7j

  265. There was a guy on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.

  266. Cool. Had a publisher contact me to see if I wanted a review copy of a book.

    It ain’t crazy blog money, but it is a start.

  267. There was a guy on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.

    niiiiiiice….

    4 out of 5 dentists approve…..

  268. It’s old, Wiser. I linked a vid this morning.

  269. I killed a guy with a trident.

    A walker with a missing leg is not really a trident.

    Just sayin.

  270. Charlie Crist sux eggs.

  271. Headline contest on Michael Barry’s site making fun of the Arizona Iced Tea boycott — http://www.facebook.com/MichaelBerryFanPage#!/MichaelBerryFanPage?v=wall&story_fbid=115626715135921

    Win stuff.

  272. If MLB pulls the all-star game out of Phoenix over the immigration protests baseball will officially suck.

  273. It’s old, Wiser. I linked a vid this morning.

    *snore

  274. If MLB pulls the all-star game out of Phoenix over the immigration protests baseball will officially suck.

    Are they seriously considering that?

  275. >> A walker with a missing leg is not really a trident.

    It is if it’s pointy.

  276. Beisbol ha been belli belli good to me. Eef eet wa not for beisbol, I wood no be playeen beisbol today.

    /Manny Ortiz

  277. I thought that was Sammy Sosa?

  278. Oh, well, getting pressure from the media and a minority of the US population or going against the desires of 70% of the population shouldn’t be a tough call……

  279. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I’m sorry I said your dick was huge.

  280. THEY’RE TAKING OUR JERBS ‘ROIDS!

  281. Rosetta, have you been Tweeterering all day or something?

  282. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    QUIT EATING ALL THE BUTTER, COW!!

  283. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    OK OK, we’ll take ballroom dancing lessons, Clompy McHooferstein!

  284. Rosetta, have you been Tweeterering all day or something?

    Today I looked outside and saw a pollen stick on the deck. I immediately Tweeted that and THE FUCKING SITE SHUT DOWN because so many people simultaneously Tweeted back NO. FUCKING. WAY!!1″

    Andy, check you assmail.

  285. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I never said your veejayjay was huge; I said it was universally accomodating.

  286. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    At least when I masturbate, it’s sex with someone I love.

  287. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I thought you said you were good in bed.

  288. Musical interlude: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxGGckAc1rs

  289. Rosetta at the office today:

    http://is.gd/bNFYW

  290. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Does this rag smell like ether?

  291. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Let us never speak of that fight again nor the whorish, trampy behavior that started it. Whore.

  292. Beisbol ha been belli belli good to me. Eef eet wa not for beisbol, I wood no be playeen beisbol today.

    Bad Stuff About the Mets

  293. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Can we just agree that your mom is a nosy annoying twat, and move on?

  294. Joan hits one out of the park with this,
    http://primordialslack.blogspot.com/2010/04/dangerous-strays.html

  295. I wonder if those seats are real leather http://i.imgur.com/u2n8r.jpg

  296. http://imgur.com/CzWS6

  297. Rosetta at the office today:

    http://is.gd/bNFYW

    STAPLES JENGA!!!!

  298. I wonder if those seats are real leather http://i.imgur.com/u2n8r.jpg

    Oy! Rain!

  299. scott, what are you wearing right now?

  300. Scott – Stand up and ask when you want a taco!

  301. Ogaba is coming to my town Saturday. Anybody want me to pass along a message?

  302. MCPO, are you well or do you still have the jimmy legs?

  303. I wonder if those seats are real leather

    Is that the new 2010 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class?

  304. Rosetta – I have a swollen ego and an atrophied heart. So, situation normal.

  305. Ogaba is coming to my town Saturday. Anybody want me to pass along a message?

    ┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐

  306. Hotspur, please ask Obama what’s the different between a socialist reading a teleprompter and 10,000,000 tea-baggers voting for hope and change.

  307. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Ya know, I never got shit like this from your sister.

  308. ┌П┐(◣_◢)┌П┐

    + 10,000 points and a crying lapdance from MCPO.

  309. I’m not giving Wiser a lapdance, he’s been rubbing up against xBrad!!!

  310. a crying lapdance from MCPO.

    Show me what you got, Coco.

  311. “Hotspur, please ask Obama what’s the different between a socialist reading a teleprompter and 10,000,000 tea-baggers voting for hope and change.”

    Ooh ooh ooh, I know the answer to that.

    There is no difference. He and they all have their head up his ass.

  312. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    *pours new concrete in basement*

    This trowel should work.

  313. Hotspur, make him feel at home. Act like you’re going to ask a question, then growl like Chewbacca.

  314. No, you’re a … awwfuckit.

  315. *opens mail

    Hey, how come my investment accounts are all empty?

    *Opens next envelope

    Oh, look, a letter from Rosetta.

    Hmmmmm, what does “Ha ha!” mean?

  316. Wiser, are you still gonna be in Vegas tomorrow?

  317. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I just said, you’re a little high maintenance.

  318. http://is.gd/bNIdk

  319. Wiser, are you still gonna be in Vegas tomorrow?

    nope. already home.

  320. Hey, how come my investment accounts are all empty?

    Rounding error.

  321. Hey, Roamy, it’s way upthread, but do you know what is awkward?

    When you wife turns to you and asks “Who is roamingfirehydrant?”

    lol

  322. Rounding error.

    Ah.

    Oh, well, nothing to worry about then.

    *checks out new 2010 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class.

  323. “Mr. President. My name is Hotspur and I’m a native of Ann Arbor. I’d like to ask you today if you. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmVXJ3hQrPo

  324. I always thought there should be a Chewbacca flavored Skoal.

    *best idea ever*

  325. nope. already home.

    You mean she le…I mean, that’s great, man. Just in time for the weekend, too.

  326. Where the hell is Mare?

    I feel like “going to prom”.

  327. I feel like “going to prom”.

    This is a euphemism for sexual activity, no?

  328. OK, Cartman making fun of Kyle’s Jewish heritage is absurdly funny … but this becomes instantly creepy:

    http://is.gd/bNINh

    Krauts…

  329. Rosetta – Did you have an successful week pilfering old ladies with “shitty deals”??

  330. This is a euphemism for sexual activity, no?

    No. Shotgunning a beer and throwing up out of my nose on my tux.

  331. That said, “SIE MÖCHTEN WOHL AN MEINEM SACK LUTSCHEN, MR GARRISON!” is still hilarious.

  332. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    I bought you some Tucks.

  333. Shotgunning a beer and throwing up out of my nose on my tux.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m glad I didn’t let you ride in my dad’s car!

  334. This is my new favorite South Park scene.

    http://tinyurl.com/2etnazw

    If that doesn’t win a Nobel then nothing makes sense anymore.

  335. Does the 2010 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class have room for 5?

  336. Hotspur, so what was your answer?

  337. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    Your gums aren’t bleeding, are they?

  338. Did anyone else see “Towelie Intervention” last night?

  339. Rosetta – Did you have an successful week pilfering old ladies with “shitty deals”??

    Yes. This one old lady didn’t want to sign on the line that is dotted so I showed her a grainy video of one of her cats on fire.

    She signed right away.

    Crybaby.

  340. “Worst Opening Phrases To Smoothing Things Out With Your Girlfriend”

    *sigh*

    I suppose a blowjob is out of the question.

  341. …’cause I’m eatin’ Arizona Dust
    And wishin’ I was home…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWdEMOzW3k0

  342. Does the 2010 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class have room for 5?

    It’s not a minivan if that’s what your axin.

  343. and Rosetta’s Form ADV clearly states that feline incineration is an acceptable form of arbitration should a dispute arise between client and advisor. Stupid cat lady.

  344. More Morgan Freeman Reading….

    http://tinyurl.com/2e4absr

    Hahahahahahahahaha.

  345. Does the 2010 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class have room for 5?

    That blonde on the right needs to eat a Big Mac. . . all my friends call me, “Big Mac”.

  346. http://i.imgur.com/5ZPAl.jpg

    That reminds me of this NSFW video

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY

  347. “Hotspur, so what was your answer?”

    I told her you were a rocket scientist chick I knew from the internet.

    And she looked at me and said “I don’t know you.”

    I lold and said “Then come with me to CT, they’ll back me up.”

    You guys will, right?

  348. I have the only ADV in the industry that contains the words “wiener poop”.

  349. Fancy new bike Uniball and the matching shoes is a nice touch.

    http://tinyurl.com/33t8wwl

  350. That reminds me of this NSFW video

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY

    Hahahahaha. That’s awesome.

  351. which was probably a Mesa link as well.

  352. You guys will, right?

    “Hey Hotspur, I thought you said your wife was fat??”

  353. Does the 2010 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class have room for 5?

    At that size, I think it seats 15.

  354. HAHAHAHAHA!

  355. You guys will, right?

    “Hiiiiiiii, Hotspur!!! It’s me, Roamingfirehydrant!!! SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!! I’m so glad we’ve finally met!!!.”

  356. Is she the super jealous type?

  357. Hey…when we all meet up in CT in July, let’s spend the day on Saturday helping those less fortunate than us.

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Just kidding. Fuck them.

  358. Hey. So. What’s up?

  359. You guys will, right?

    “You’re MARRIED?”

  360. Rosie, you bringing the better half in Jewly??

  361. Romy wouldn’t squeal like that.
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    She strikes me as more of a full-throated screamer.

  362. Romy wouldn’t squeal like that.

    I’m Spartacus Roamie.

    D’uh.

  363. Is she the super jealous type?

    I don’t know about her, but I heard Hotspur was a super genius.

  364. BBL. Gotta go pick up a young boy.

  365. No, scott, but she doesn’t understand online friends. But read her response to Roamy’s comment on my blog. She’s a good sport, and if she can come, you guys are going to jizz yourselves.

  366. Hotspur, I wish, wish, wish I could be at the CT meet. I’ll be in AZ two weeks before and my dad’s wedding one week before, so I don’t know if I can swing three trips in three weeks. (Wiserbud is rolling his eyes at me, I know.) Want me to send you some astronaut ice cream?

  367. Rosie, you bringing the better half in Jewly??

    Yes. For some reason, despite my protestations to the contrary, she wants to meet some of these idiots.

    She’ll be the one that looks like a dead hooker with blow on her ass.

  368. (Wiserbud is rolling his eyes at me, I know.)

    luxury.

  369. Ogaba is coming to my town Saturday. Anybody want me to pass along a message
    Oh yea, right.

    You know, I’ll busy being a soccer mom on Saturday, but if I could I’d be out with some shitty sign.

  370. There was a link to the balloon crash in Australia. I didn’t work on that one, but I did work on the payload for the next balloon launch. HERO = High-Energy Replicated Optics. Hope they figure out what went wrong.

  371. BBL. Gotta go pick up a young boy.

    http://is.gd/bNKH4

  372. High-Energy Replicated Optics

    Hey! Watch your language, I have a picture of my Mother in my wallet!

  373. “She’s a good sport”

    She would enjoy it.

  374. Cuffy, please Tweet a new thread.

  375. Evenin’, Hostages. First, did anything exciting happen while I was gone? Second, the header is fucking hysterical.

  376. Oh shit, I went hostage on your blog, and I guess I shouldn’t have. Sorry about that!

  377. Battery dead. See you fine people in the AM.

    Oh, and, Rosetta? Bite me.

  378. Battery dead. See you fine people in the AM.

    is that code?

  379. Cuffy, please Tweet a new thread.

    Are you insane? I’m all blogged out — I did like 3 or 4 posts at my place this month!

  380. Hotspur,
    Her followup comment to Roamy is great! I can see why she asked that question.

    Yea! I get to meat-up with BiW & Xbad at the combination KFC, Taco Bell, Engine House # 9!
    Fortunately, It’s not real far from the Pierce County Jail, and there will be an attorney close at hand.

  381. ‘sup Z?

    What are you wearing right now?

  382. Are you insane? I’m all blogged out — I did like 3 or 4 posts at my place this month!

    You lazy welfare mother.

    Fine. I’m going to do the worst post ever and it’s going to be your fault.

  383. How come Rosie doesn’t wanna know what I’m wearing?

    muthafocker

  384. “What are you wearing right now?”

    Nothing terribly exotic. A black pencil skirt and a blue polka-dot camisole. I was thinkin’ about throwing on some jeans now that I’m home from work. On the more entertaining side, I am wearing some cute underwear.

  385. Wow, when did Linda Ronstadt turn into an ugly flaming douche? (CNN right now)

  386. I’m going to do the worst post ever and it’s going to be your fault.

    Well, at least you’ll have someone to blame.

    this time.

  387. Years ago, cuffy. Like, prolly before you were born.

  388. On the more entertaining side, I am wearing some cute underwear.

    Prude!

  389. New post for people that smell good.

    You stinky fuckers stay on this thread.

  390. How come Rosie doesn’t wanna know what I’m wearing?

    I know what you’re wearing.

    http://tinyurl.com/ybskgn3

  391. Underwear is so 1940’s.


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