HHD=Hunky Hump Day! mmm mmm mmm

I hope that you’ve enjoyed touring the world in search of the yummiest men on the planet–I know I have! Well, except for a few sites that proper ladies should never, ever frequent, but the sacrifice has been well worth it.

Welcome to a country named after a metal, a founding member of the UN, and the second largest country in South America…don’t cry for me–It’s Argentina Baby!

Oh, I’m cryin’ alright! Bunk!

343 Comments

  1. I see red shorts, but no redHEAD.

    I declare this HHD a FAIL.

    I’m sorry Cynn. I’m sure some of the less discriminating women will be around in a bit to say what a great job you did and all that, but I gotta call it as I see it.

  2. But, I’ll try to appreciate your effort.

    [tries to peer under the giant leaf]

    No, I’m sorry. It’s just not working for me.

  3. There may be a few redheaded Argentinians out there. Lots of Germans and Italians moved there after WWII…

  4. What’s up with all the southern mexicans on this poat?

  5. Actually, that last one looks a little gingerish to me.

  6. Lots of em moved there before WWII as well, Brazil too. Tons of immigrants from Europe and Asia.

  7. Car in – That last pic is in the auburn family of hair coloring and was picked with you in mind. Actually, I’m a sucker for the reds too so I look for that red-yumminess when I search. If I do HHD again, I’ll continue my world tour to maybe Ireland where we both should be in heaven! Hell, maybe I’ll do an “all-red HHD”. Yowza!

  8. *Heads out to salon to get hair tinted.*

  9. Argentina is supposed to be the whitest country outside of Europe.

  10. Most of their European immigrants came from Italy and Spain. Then Germany, eastern Europe and Russia to an extent. I think by the time WWII broke out, almost 1/3 of all Argentines were foreign-born.

  11. http://tinyurl.com/ylgx2gy

  12. Awww…compos, lookit his widdle feetsies!

    I hear their junk is pretty normal though.

  13. Argentina is 92% white, which was news to me.
    They still have anti-Semitic issues in BA.

    Interesting country.

    I have heard that Mendoza is fucking awesome, lifestyle comparable to Santa Fe or California.

  14. compos brings the ginger!

  15. compos brings the ginger!

    Yer welcome, car in. Now stop yer whinin’.

  16. Question…so I opened a can of worms with my doing chimp cakes. Yesterday I had two people ask me if I am the chimp lady and if I can do their cakes for their kid’s 1st bdays.

    Okay. Fine. But when I ask how they want it to look, they tell me whatever I want. I seriously don’t like that because when I have 30 other cakes to do, I’d really like an idea due to time constraints.

    Who wants to give me some ideas?

  17. And who has some great groups/pages to join on facechimp? Something to piss off Obama lovers*.

    *found a friend from high school…his wifey lurves her some Barry

  18. Redheads suck
    great HHD post though

  19. Chimp cake ideas? How about making sure there’s a big pair of coconuts? Perhaps placed suggestively with one large banana.

  20. Ideas how? You need pictures of monkeys?

  21. How about a monkey with a hump?

  22. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

  23. Wedding cake idea:

    http://is.gd/bsGer

  24. How about a Grape Ape?!

  25. Cuffy’s…HAHAHA!

  26. I don’t need pictures of monkeys. My chimp is fine as it is, thank you very much.

    I need ideas on what to have the chimps doing. Have the happy birdday in the center, a chimp in each corner, one on a rocking horse, one grinning, one flinging poo….

    that sort of thing

  27. I’ve done chimps on skates, chimps as reindeer being driven by Santa chimp..

  28. chimps holding banners, chimps holding bananas

    each one you can count their fingers and toes. That’s the best part of doing them.

  29. Bowling Chimp.
    Weightlifting Chimp.
    Fry-cook Chimp.
    Kite-flying Chimp.
    Steven Seagal Sex Scandal Chimp.

  30. Do I have to say it?

  31. CHIMP WASHING CAT!

  32. Um, that last one might be best for an adult party.

  33. VERRRRRYYYYYYY NICE!

  34. Where’s the link, Cuffy? You havta put in ‘The Link’!11! Yay!

  35. Cyn, it’s for a first birthday.

    *thinks about how to incorporate a cat*

    Having a chimp stirring a pot of cat might be traumatic for a small child.

  36. CHIMP WASHING FROG!

  37. Chimp doing a bong hit? http://tinyurl.com/y7eyp6p

  38. /Nice Header pic

  39. Hosefucking Chimp
    George W. Bush
    Salt Fucking Chimp
    Michelle Obama

    *runs away*

  40. chimp playing an autoharp….there’s an idea

  41. Yesterday I had two people ask me if I am the chimp lady

    Did you immedietly start calling them racists?

  42. Comment by pendejo grande on April 14, 2010 2:29 pm
    Yesterday I had two people ask me if I am the chimp lady

    Did you immedietly start calling them racists?

    Thread Winnah of The Hour!

  43. 1st birthday you say…….chimp smokin’ a bowl, chimp tying off one arm, chimp snorting confectioners sugar off another chimp’s asscrack…….

  44. compos, that might work. The woman ordering it had that meth look.

  45. Prostitute and pimp chimps.

  46. Damn, while I was trying to figure out how to harvest the low hanging fruit, compos was busy.

  47. I think your cake should have chimps throwing feces. You could use chocolate sprinkles as the feces.

  48. Chimp(s) with…
    –numbered and alpha blocks
    –toy train running around it
    –dressed in feather boa and diaper with baby rattle
    –tossing its pacificer and raising a martini glass.

  49. Chimpy Hendrix? http://tinyurl.com/y69knaa

  50. Chimp eating Santa’s jolly face.

  51. Great. I finally bother to come see you guys from my crackberry in daylight hours, and forgot it was Wednesday.

    Harrumph.

  52. …ChimpyMcHaliburton dressed in business suit with oil derreck in background and wads of cash in hands and feet…

  53. Note to Leon – you can’t peek under the big leaf.

  54. This is cute, Beasn

  55. Have the chimps riding a miniature train ride?

  56. You know what? I’ve changed my mind about redheads. That dude at the bottom is seriously smoking hot!

  57. …Chimp on a pogo, all jumpy and happy about a First Birthday…

  58. That dude at the bottom is seriously smoking hot!

    Agreed. I had to excuse myself from the computer after gazing at his “come hither” look for a bit. Yes. Wetnap worthy.

  59. Chimp scratching butt, sniffing finger, falling out of tree, going viral on Youtube.

  60. I’d take a ride in the van of that second to last guy too. But I’m adventurous that way, riding with strangers.

  61. Chimps eating Prozac.

  62. What? Don’t look at me like that! Don’t you judge me!

  63. You could make a chimp drinking it’s own urine by installing some sort of recirculating waterfall device.

    Chimp drinking piss = good times

  64. Chimps eating Prozac Bacon.

    Fixt.

  65. Chimp getting a divorce and screeching “You’re adopted!” in red frosting.

  66. HAHAHA! Peej–I just spittled laughed at my monitor as I had a flashback to Dodgeball with the drinking urine bit! Chimpy Patches O’Houlihan, heh heh heh heh!

  67. What about Feces-Flinging Chimp? He would go over great at a kid’s birthday party with little poo-shaped clumps of chocolate clutched in his cakey fists.

  68. Chimp signing DNR for granny.

  69. MOM!!!! HOTSPUR IS LOOKING AT TEH GHAY CHIMPS AGAIN!!

  70. What about Feces-Flinging Chimp?

    ahem, Jazz?

    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2010/04/14/hunky-hump-day-yay-2/#comment-277754

  71. Chimp with a dead chicken tied around his neck. Flinging feces, drinking urine, and shooting cats.

  72. Hmmm…some good ideas. I like the balloons and trains and blocks ideas.

    I get decorator’s cramp on my days off. Speaking of which, I better get my chimp ass out of this chair and go and do something.

    Thanks chimps and chimpettes.

    *flings poo at Cuffy and Jazz*

    *goes looking for sketch paper*

  73. Chimp with a dead chicken tied around his neck. Flinging feces, drinking urine, and shooting cats.

    Now THAT sounds like a good story to me.

    TELL ME A STORY UNCLE CUFFY! TELL ME A STORY!!!

  74. Chimp deleting a group blog.

  75. Shaddup you face, Peej.

  76. Misogynist chimps

  77. Chimps can go fuck themselves for all I care.

  78. Chimp deleting a group blog.

    HAHAHAHA!

    ooooooooooohh, ouch

  79. Any PC experts onboard??

  80. MCPO,
    Are you referring to Pussy/Cunt or Political Correctness?

  81. PJM, are you going across country for this wingding Humpy McHumperson is arranging?

  82. PJM, are you going across country for this wingding Humpy McHumperson is arranging?

    Yeppers. I figure it’d be a hoot.

  83. Any PC experts onboard??

    Yes, you’re a rcist, a sexist, a homophobe, and a jew hater. What else can I help you with?

  84. Uni- I just turned on my laptop and I’ve lost a fifth of my screen on the right side. And it appears to be doubling the image on the bottom. I checked the driver and the resolution settings already. Quite weird.

  85. PJM, are you going across country for this wingding Humpy McHumperson is arranging?

    Don’t go Paulatics.

  86. It’s gonna be a hootnanny.

  87. Pupster – I was not quite prepared for that image.

  88. Put some nitroglycerin under your tongue, Chief.

  89. hahaha, yeah, that picture is a humdinger

  90. Pupster, where’d you find that picture of Rosetta?

  91. So, I take it nobody has an answer to my computer problem.

  92. MCPO,
    I am definitely not an expert, I was making a joke, sorry about that.
    Isn’t wiser good with PCs?

  93. Uni- I just turned on my laptop and I’ve lost a fifth of my screen on the right side. And it appears to be doubling the image on the bottom. I checked the driver and the resolution settings already. Quite weird

    kill it

  94. I’m no expert, Chief, but it sounds like your laptop, and by extension you yourself, are well and truly hosefucked.

  95. I won! I won!!

    I’m getting two baby goats for my birthday. I’m putting the deposit down on them today!!

    HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  96. Did you try unplugging your rubberfist for 20 seconds and restarting it?

  97. Great, PJ! Now we can count among the Hostages’ professions “Goatherder.” It’s all we were missing!

  98. PJM,
    Have you ever owned goats?
    I lived with a family once that had goats, those things shit about a bucket of shit per hour.

    Nasty little things.

  99. If you pour a glass of water over the keyboard that should rinse out any crud that has built up in there.

  100. I lived with a family once that had goats, those things shit about a bucket of shit per hour.

    I know!! I’m SO excited!!

    My kids had shite all over their shoes yesterday and my car STILL smells like farm. Isn’t it wonderful???

  101. All of your suggestions are unhelpful. Thanks for nothing!

  102. This was forwarded to me today, for you deep thinkers. I’ve not had the time to delve into it, but CS Lewis is an enjoyable dalliance of mine.

    http://www.independent.org/blog/?p=5697

  103. The difference between goat shit and fertilizer is a little compost and some time.

  104. If you pour a glass of water over the keyboard that should rinse out any crud that has built up in there.

    hahahaha!

  105. I see goats with dead chickens around their necks.

  106. ok you know what guys? I thought the dead chicken around the dog was going to work!

    Stupid dog.

    It was SUCH a good idea too!

  107. If you pour a glass of water over the keyboard your johnson that should rinse out any crud infection that has built up in there.

  108. FIFY

  109. The difference between goat shit and fertilizer is a little compost and some time.

    You think flowers might grow in my car?

  110. “I see goats with dead chickens around their necks.”

    hahahahahaah……stupid chickens. They need to run faster.

    PJM, are you really going to the CT meet-up?

  111. PJM,
    There is no denying how cute they are, they just stink.
    Are you going to use the shit as fertilizer?

  112. Where the fuck is Old Spice going with this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q2OlqsknXI

  113. PJM, are you really going to the CT meet-up?

    Yes ma’am. I promised PJD a crapload more sex than he already gets to let me go.

    hahahaha, poor guy’s too tired most of the time, but hey, I offer.

    Are you going to use the shit as fertilizer?

    Heck yeah. The awesome MCPO and HERSELF got me a subscription to Organic Gardening and I’m gonna have me a big fat garden. I’m gonna get rid of the lawn in the front yard and make it a garden. Lawn is a waste of space.

    Wasn’t that sweet of MCPO and HERSELF?

  114. You wanna go mare?

  115. PJM – GAWDDAMNIT!! Don’t go ruining my reputation!

  116. PJM,
    Sounds nice.

    Do you live in a neighborhood or in the country?

  117. PJM – GAWDDAMNIT!! Don’t go ruining my reputation!

    ooops, sorry. I meant that some chick and dude in PA got me a subscription to some hippie magazine.

    better?

  118. http://instantsfun.es/

  119. Here is what I saw with baby goats and kids. Kids love the goats, pick them up and lug them around. While they are lugging them around and holding them, the goats shit all over the kids or wherever they area.

    The kids get covered in shit.

    Better make sure they only play with them outside.

    Not telling you what to do, just saying the shit will get tracked into the house.

  120. Do you live in a neighborhood or in the country?

    country. Each house has a half acre or more.

    When I move to my parents, we’ll only be on a 1/4 acre. *sigh

    but that’s actually where I’m going to have my front yard garden.

    Lakeside where I’ll be moving and Alpine where I live now are unincorporated horse towns. Pick up trucks and 2 x 4’s litter every yard. I LOVE it

  121. PJM,
    Sounds nice, for reals.

    Have you ever thought of making cheese?

  122. We don’t wear shoes in the house. In fact, the kids take their shoes off whenever we enter someone’s home.

    Which, is a little embarrassing when my kids don’t have clean socks on.

  123. Yes, I would like to go. We have planned a rather long trip at the beginning of the summer and I don’t think I would like to go all the way back east after just getting home.

  124. “Which, is a little embarrassing when my kids don’t have clean socks on.”

    Just wait until goat shit pours out of their shoes.

  125. PJM, when are you moving to your parents’ place?

  126. hitting the wall

  127. Have you ever thought of making cheese?

    I’ve been researching for the past couple weeks on cheesemaking. After all, Blessed Are the Cheesemakers and the Greeks Shall Inherit the Earth.

    I used to buy raw cow’s milk in Florida and I’d make butter and buttermilk out of it. I intend to do that as well with the goat’s milk.

    I don’t think I would like to go all the way back east after just getting home.

    You won’t even know where the hee haw heck home is.

  128. If I lived in an area that allowed it, I believed I would make cheese as well.

  129. Someone re-lay some knowledge on me… when is the meetup? And how far is it from New London/Groton?

  130. I’m there, too, sohita.

  131. PJM, when are you moving to your parents’ place?

    my cousin has to be out by august.

    oh wait till you see my goats. THEY’RE GORGEOUS!!!! And so lovey.

    what wall? How’re you doing sohos?

  132. Paulitics, check your email

  133. PJ, I want goat soap.

    MCPO, do you think a video or display driver may have corrupted? What do you have, exactly?

  134. PJ, I want goat soap.

    Oh that’s the OTHER thing I was looking into pa. How cool is that?

    I really want to be as independent from outside sources for food as I possibly can. I’d like it to be as healthy as possible. This excites me to no end.

    Screw jewelry. Give me farm animals

  135. PJ, my best friend from high school lives on a homestead in North Texas. She has goats. and chickens. Want a link to her blog?

  136. xBad?

    http://tinyurl.com/y34xdyp

  137. PJ, my best friend from high school lives on a homestead in North Texas. She has goats. and chickens. Want a link to her blog?

    Can’t I just move in with her?

    linky please

  138. everything is SO freaking perfect in my life.

    So, I figure I’m going to get cancer or something any minute now. I’ve just been too lucky in my life in my opinion.

  139. PJM,
    You should raise rabbits for their meat.

    Easy to keep and cuter than goats.

  140. Paulitics – July 17, and the New London area is about an hour away.

  141. How in the world did someone find a homestead?

    I thought those no longer existed.

  142. I have a hard time milking rabbits. You have nipples uniball, can I milk you?

  143. The 3 oclock at work wall

  144. Scott, I sent Paulitics an email with all the details he needs to know.

  145. Eat the rabbits, raise them and then kill them to eat.

    “can I milk you?”

    As long as you don’t mind me feeling you up while you try.

  146. Since PJD is letting me get the goats for my birthday, I’ve decided to let you hostages get me my kitchenaid mixer.

    How sweet am I?

  147. I get to name one of the goats.

  148. Sohos, are you happy there?

    As long as you don’t mind me feeling you up while you try.

    I was going to use this.

  149. “I was going to use this.”
    As long as you don’t mind me feeling you up while you try.

  150. I get to name one of the goats.

    hahaha, what is it?

  151. At the moment I can’t decide between Rosetta and Wiserbud. I’m going to need to see a photo.

  152. ok I’m bored now. The excitement of getting the goats has passed. I need a new project.

  153. http://www.beulahland.com/

    blog is http://blog.beulahland.com/

    She’s very sweet and I’m sure would answer questions/help you.

  154. At the moment I can’t decide between Rosetta and Wiserbud. I’m going to need to see a photo.

    I’ll take a picture of them when I put the deposit down on them today.

    Thank you very much for the linky pa.

    I’m gonna have to clean the house and make PJD cookies and a big fat dinner so he’s in a good mood when he gets home.

    bbl

  155. Patty, is your sister in Michigan?

  156. While you goat herders have been trying to milk each other, I created a new video in my “Let’s Make Lefty Heads ‘Splode” series:

  157. Hotspur, I have 2 sisters living in Ohio.

  158. I wondered about the name of the farm. There is a town near where my wife’s inn is located called Beulah, and some of the countryside looked Michigan-ish.

  159. Obama:

    “The single biggest threat to US security – both short-term, medium-term, and long-term – would be the possibility of a terrorist organization obtaining a nuclear weapon.”

    “Both” of three? Someone get this man a teleprompter!

    Obama:

    “The ramifications economically, politically, and from a security perspective would be devastating.”

    Really? How about IN TERMS OF LOSS OF LIVES – ESPECIALLY AMERICAN LIVES, you fucknut?

  160. Just bought some cat fish fillets. Mr. Beasn is going to fry them up for my dinner. Meow.

    *he better remove the fur*

  161. Catfish, beasn’? You strike me as a smoked chub kind of gal.

  162. Really? How about IN TERMS OF LOSS OF LIVES – ESPECIALLY AMERICAN LIVES, you fucknut?

    jazz, jazz, jazz, American lives are expendable to the ummah and the fucknut – a.k.a. foot soldier.

  163. My bad, beasn. Thanks for the reorient.

  164. jazz, jazz, jazz, I like my chub alive and fresh.

    Actually, no I don’t. I have about 10 pounds extra, per cheek, that I would like to see gone.

  165. Barbequed Catwich Reuben. You make a standard reuben sandwich, but substitute catfish for the pastrami, and barbecue sauce for the thousand island dressing.

  166. I’m not big on the sauces, Hotspur. Too bad I can’t stand tartar type sauce. Making it into a sammich does sound good.

    The husband will roll them up in potato flakes, paprika, salt, pepper, then fry.

  167. I’ve done the same with salmon.

    Good stuff. No bbq sauce — remoulade.

  168. Hotspur, that farm is close to Sherman, Texas, close to the OK border.

  169. I forgot to say they named their place Beulah Land from the Bible.

  170. Hotspur,
    That sounds good.

  171. So good, in fact, that I’ll ask the tavern next door to make me one, then take it home for mah dinnah.

  172. This looks good.

    http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Tomato-Cream-Sauce-for-Pasta/Detail.aspx

  173. Catfish with kraut? Hmmm. I love kraut.

    Mare, these meetups are so much fun you won’t even be able to stand it, and we would so love to meet you! Every walk of life, and we all fit like sleeves in a vest.

    Wiserbud and Rosetta are pretty much exactly the same in real life as they are here. Everybody else is saner than shown on intartube.

  174. My friends and I make sauerkraut every fall. You have to wait for a hard freeze for the cabbage to be right. It’s a blast, and tastes better than anything you can buy.

    In the spring we make sausage. Two types – Italian and a spicy-er one.

  175. Everybody else is saner than shown on intartube.

    No one’s met me yet. But I appear sane on the internet, and much less so in person. Though that may just be because so many of my RL friends are libtarded. It makes one… guarded.

  176. PattyAnn, is your friends blog private? If not, could I get the link also?

  177. Pork sausage? Do you do your own butchering or buy the meat cut?

  178. Oops, PattyAnn, I saw the link after I commented.

  179. Pork sausage? Do you do your own butchering or buy the meat cut?

    Pork and veal. We buy the cuts of meat then grind it ourselves.

  180. Quit chewing on your hoof, Mare.

    http://tinyurl.com/y2x9csr

  181. Not what I was expecting, Pupster. Well done!

  182. I’m considering making my own bacon later this year. After I sort out where I’m living.

  183. The first time we made sausage, my friend insisted on trimming all of the fat off. I told her that was wrong, but would she listen to me? Noooooooooo!

    That was the worst sausage evar.

  184. Whoa,
    This is a chick, breaking the world record for highest vertical jump on skis for a woman.
    It happened at The Canyons, the resort that we spend most of our time at.
    Chicks are getting more and more aggressive.

  185. Phucking computer!! I’ve done everything I can think to do, including loading new graphics driver!

  186. Take the keyboard off, disconnect the ribbon connector for the monitor and then reconnect it.

  187. Has someone already asked if it was turned? Try turning it on.

    And deleting all the farm porn.

    And wiping the KFC Double Down grease from your monitor.

  188. Do you have the original system disks Chief?

    I had to default my laptop back to factory a few months ago, it works like new again. I just burned all my documents and pictures to a disk and started over.

  189. Didn’t come with any disks.

  190. The part of Hostage Meetups that we don’t talk about: Dave and Rosetta’s bastard child.

    http://tinyurl.com/y3acpcg

  191. Then do what Mesa said.

  192. Pupster, that can be a three day ordeal. Last resort.

  193. This should cheer you up, Chief.

    http://tinyurl.com/y274x8p

  194. CHUB – Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Buseys

  195. MCPO,
    Where did you buy it?

  196. Hey Scott, you ever go tiger fishing?

    http://tinyurl.com/yyma7gm

    The hard part is what to do once you get them on the elephant.

  197. By the way, Cyn. I like the first guy, the one walking along the beach. He seems nice and excellent make out material.

  198. I wonder how that lion/elephant/man thing turned out?

  199. For what it’s worth, I bought a kickass Dell Alienware M17X laptop last fall.

    About a month ago the 5 pound charger started to fuck up so I just had to buy a new one. And from what I read this wasn’t a rare occurance.

    Expensive tech shit should last longer than it does.

    BUSH LIED!! MY CHARGER DIED!!

  200. Did you try putting it on a stone wall and beating the shit outta of it with a 5 lb sledge hammer? That’s the advice Indian tech support gave me.

  201. Catching Gazelles for bait is the really hard part.

  202. I bought it at PC Mall (the web)

  203. Wonder no more Mare.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs6Uu64dynI

  204. Michael’s new wheels — http://i.imgur.com/RDNPm.jpg

  205. You’ve committed a fatal error, and there’s nothing we can do.

  206. Oh, my, I was interested in how the elephant could sense the tiger coming much earlier.

    Thanks.

  207. I bet the guy in the tiger video would know how to fix MCPO’s laptop.

  208. Thank you, call again.

  209. I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind a group of jubilant individuals celebrating the successful passing of the recent health care bill. I could not finish my breakfast. This is what ensued:

    They were a diverse group of several races and both sexes. I heard the young man exclaim, “Isn’t Obama like Jesus Christ? I mean, after all, he is healing the sick.” The young woman enthusiastically proclaimed, “Yeah, and he does it for free. I cannot believe anyone would think that a free market would work for health care. They are all crooks and thieves and don’t deserve all of that money.” Another said, ‘The stupid Republicans want us all to starve to death so they can inherit all of the power. Obama should be made a Saint for what he did for those of us less fortunate.” At this, I had had enough.

    I arose from my seat, mustering all the restraint I could find, and approached their table. “Please excuse me; may I impose upon you for one moment?” They smiled and welcomed me to the conversation. I stood at the end of their table, smiled as best I could and began an experiment.

    “I would like to give one of you my house. It will cost you no money and I will pay all of the expenses and taxes for as long as you live there. Anyone interested?” They looked at each other in astonishment. “Why would you do something like that?” asked a young man, “There isn’t anything for free in this world.” They began to laugh at me, as they did not realize this man had just made my point. “I am serious, I will give you my house for free, no money what so ever. Anyone interested?” In unison, a resounding “Hell Yeah” fills the room.

    “Since there are too many of you, I will have to make a choice as to who receives this money free bargain.” I noticed an elderly couple was paying attention to the spectacle unfolding before their eyes, the old man shaking his head in apparent disgust. “I tell you what; I will give it to the one of you most willing to obey my rules.” Again, they looked at one another, an expression of bewilderment on their faces. The perky young woman asked, “What are the rules?” I smiled and said, “I don’t know. I have not yet defined them. However, it is a free home that I offer you.” They giggled amongst themselves, the youngest of which said, “What an old coot. He must be crazy to give away his home. Go take your meds, old man.” I smiled and leaned into the table a bit further. “I am serious, this is a legitimate offer.” They gaped at me for a moment.

    “I’ll take it you old fool. Where are the keys?” boasted the youngest among them. “Then I presume you accept ALL of my terms then?” I asked. The elderly couple seemed amused and entertained as they watched from the privacy of their table. “Oh hell yeah! Where do I sign up?” I took a napkin and wrote, “I give this man my home, without the burden of financial obligation, so long as he accepts and abides by the terms that I shall set forth upon consummation of this transaction.” I signed it and handed it to the young man who eagerly scratched out his signature. “Where are the keys to my new house?” he asked in a mocking tone of voice. All eyes were upon us as I stepped back from the table, pulling the keys from pocket and dangling them before the excited new homeowner.

    “Now that we have entered into this binding contract, witnessed by all of your friends, I have decided upon the conditions you are obligated to adhere from this point forward. You may only live in the house for one hour a day. You will not use anything inside of the home. You will obey me without question or resistance. I expect complete loyalty and admiration for this gift I bestow upon you. You will accept my commands and wishes with enthusiasm, no matter the nature. Your morals and principles shall be as mine. You will vote as I do, think as I do and do it with blind faith. These are my terms. Here are your keys.” I reached the keys forward and the young man looked at me dumb founded.

    “Are you out of your mind? Who would ever agree to those ridiculous terms?” the young man appeared irritated. “You did when you signed this contract before reading it, understanding it and with the full knowledge that I would provide my conditions only after you committed to the agreement.” Was all I said. The elderly man chuckled as his wife tried to restrain him. I was looking at a now silenced and bewildered group of people. “You can shove that stupid deal up you’re a** old man, I want no part of it” exclaimed the now infuriated young man. “You have committed to the contract, as witnessed by all of your friends; you cannot get out of the deal unless I agree to it. I do not intend to let you free now that I have you ensnared. I am the power you agreed to. I am the one you blindly and without thought chose to enslave yourself to. In short, I am your Master.” At this, the table of celebrating individuals became a unified group against the unfairness of the deal.

    After a few moments of unrepeatable comments and slurs, I revealed my true intent. “What I did to you is what this administration and congress did to you with the health care legislation. I easily suckered you in and then revealed the real cost of the bargain. Your folly was in the belief that you can have something you did not earn; that you are entitled to that which you did not earn; that you willingly allowed someone else to think for you. Your failure to research, study and inform yourself permitted reason to escape you. You have entered into a trap from which you cannot flee. Your only chance of freedom is if your new Master gives it to you. A freedom that is given can also be taken away; therefore, it is not freedom.” With that, I tore up the napkin and placed it before the astonished young man. “This is the nature of your new health care legislation.”

    I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation and was surprised by applause. The elderly gentleman, who was clearly entertained, shook my hand enthusiastically and said, “Thank you Sir, these kids don’t understand Liberty these days.” He refused to allow me to pay my bill as he said, “You earned this one, it is an honor to pickup the tab.” I shook his hand in thanks, leaving the restaurant somewhat humbled, and sensing a glimmer of hope for my beloved country.

    Use reason,
    Clifford A Wright

  210. Classic.

  211. I would take it to Best Buy and utilize the Geek Squad. They have helped me in the past and did a great job.

  212. ‘sup taintblisters?

  213. BrewFan, what the hell were you thinking wearing that dress?

    Not flattering at all.

  214. Rosie, my bride and I will be driving through St. Louie Friday morning so kindly keep all routine traffic off the interstate until we pass through. Thanks in advance.

  215. BrewFan, what the hell were you thinking wearing that dress?

    Rosetta, I love you buddy! http://tinyurl.com/y5hk8xs

  216. I would take it to Best Buy and utilize the Geek Greek Squad. They have helped me dorked my squeakhole in the past and did a great job.

    FTFY

  217. HA! Brew!

    http://tinyurl.com/y69nsa2

    I didn’t know you were a one-star general!

  218. Thanks Hotspur.

  219. Why the fuck is my chest sore? Mesa, did you punch me Monday night and I missed it?

  220. MOM!!! MESA DONKEY PUNCHED DAVE!!!

  221. Whose turn is it to put up a new post?

    This thing is slower than Hotspur leaving Uniball’s loving embrace.

  222. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Larry King filed for divorce.

    Good job getting rid of Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Girl, Larry.

    http://tinyurl.com/37eg8l

    You can surely do better than that cow.

    *wonders what planet I’m on, misses earth*

  223. My loving embrace is powerful and controlling

  224. It’s more like a loving death grip

    It comes from a fear of being alone

  225. Numb-nut, did you get an email about the meat-up in July?

  226. No, well maybe, I rarely go into that email.
    Where is it?
    I will check the address.

  227. I am bringing a Scamp for Elizabeth and MCPO to share.

  228. A new reason to read Hot Air. This is now an advertiser.

    http://tinyurl.com/y9xze5r

  229. Ok, I got pictures of my new babies!! I’m downloading them now

    WOOT! WOOT!

  230. Rosetta,
    Never received it.
    Where is it being held? In Utah?

  231. No, well maybe, I rarely go into that email.
    Where is it?
    I will check the address.

    Send me an email and I will forward the shit to your lame ass.

    88rosetta88 *at* gmail *dot* com

  232. How pathetic is that, send an email to request the party notice.

    How far have I fallen.

  233. YAY! New Duggars!!!

  234. Spaghetti time!

    *zips up pant zipper and turns off light.

    *closes door on way out

  235. YAY! New Duggars!!!

    Don’t make me take you in as a foster child. You won’t like it.

  236. Anyone want to punch a troll? There’s a particularly ghey one littering my open blog post at the mothership:

    http://minx.cc/?post=300579

  237. PJM – What species of goat are they? Are they boy goats or girl goats? Can they say, “D-a-a-a-a-a-a-d-e-e-e” yet?

  238. Don’t make me take you in as a foster child. You won’t like it.

    Don’t threaten me BreadLady. You try to feed me some bullshit organic nuts and local honey and I will draw a fucking mural on the wall in permanent marker that will make the Sistine Chapel look like a stick figure.

    *soils diaper*

    MOM!!!!

  239. PJ, you better hide those things if xbrad ever pays a visit IYKWIMAITYD

  240. The black one is a boy, I’d like him to hook up with my girl in a couple months. He’s a “La Mancha” The brown one that actually has ears is a half boer half Nubian.

    I don’t get them till next weekend because PJD and I are going out of town this weekend.

    I’ll still have to feed the black one by a bottle. Awwwwwww, so cute!

  241. Are those regular goats or WTFFace Jenkins goats? Or fainting goats?

    If you have fainting goats I’m coming to visit.

  242. Don’t threaten me BreadLady.

    That’s a promise. Your wife and I are simpatico now. You’re goin’ down punk!!
    GOAT’S MILK FOR YOU!!!!!!

    PJ, you better hide those things if xbrad ever pays a visit

    OMG!! Are effing kidding me? I have to have b-rad again? Isn’t it someone else’s turn?

  243. PJM has two more kids.

  244. You’re lucky Mrs Rosetta likes burritos, BL.

    Can we name the goats?

  245. Isn’t it someone else’s turn?

    *points* WISER!!!

  246. Can we name the goats?

    Rastus and FeMale

  247. PJM has two more kids.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0PIdWdw15U

  248. ‘Sup, fuckers of hoses?

  249. Can we name the goats?

    yes

    PJM has two more kids.

    clever man. I bet none of the other hostages get that.

    I have to go to the store now to get trash cans. I accidentally ordered 200 lbs of chicken feed.

    bbl

  250. goat names: ShutYourWhoreMouth and BOB SAGET!

  251. MCPO you figure out the laptop problem yet?

  252. Goat 1: Shirlena?

    Goat 2: Ed Balls

  253. ScottW – Yeah, it’s fucked beyond my capabilities to un-fuck it.

  254. If you own a cat it will probably work fine once the urine dries.

  255. ….and Wiserbud might be able to help when the meth wears off.

  256. First tick of the season yesterday. We’ve got 80 fucking degree weather in April. Why the fuck do I work outside?

  257. Brew, compliments on living in an absolutely gorgeous state.

  258. MCPO, explain your computer problem….

  259. MCPO, explain your computer problem….

    The root of the problem is… it’s a computer.

  260. The root of the problem is… it’s a computer.

    Correction: It’s an old person’s computer.

  261. Correction: It’s an old person’s computer.

    So it’s an abacus?

  262. So it’s an abacus?

    That would be simpler…

  263. It’s an HP DV5 laptop. It appears that a fifth of the display (right side) is not functioning. The really weird thing is the repeat of the top part of the screen on the bottom.
    I have:
    Used 3 different virus/malware detection programs – no bad stuff
    Attempted to change the refresh rate – no joy
    Loaded a new driver from intel – nada

    Driving me batshit!

  264. Looks like it’s just you and me Wiser. Hmmm, wonder where I put the chocolate?

  265. Oh, MCPO’s back. yay.

  266. Have you checked to make sure you have it set up for a single display?

  267. dammit. And I wanted some of TI’s chocolate…..

  268. MCPOld: “Why won’t my WebTV load AOL?”

    Tech Support Guy: “Because it is no longer 1996, sir. Thank you, come again.”

  269. Wiser – Yup, it’s set for internal display only

  270. Sean – As I’m sure Wiser will tell you, mu laptop is less than a year old. Oh, and I spent 4 years working as a program manager for a Defense Systems Integration firm.

  271. Go into the Control Panel/System/Device Manager and tell me what you see under “monitor” and “display adapters”

  272. Mobile Intel 4 series express chipset series

  273. I can tell it’s spring and I’m back to hiking 3+ miles a day. It’s only 8 and I think I’m gonna go to bed.

  274. I think Wiser’s on the right track. Either the hardware’s actually horked or there’s something telling it to tile the display pixels.

  275. what’s listed under “monitor”

  276. Leon – I downloaded an updated driver from Intel this afternoon – wouldn’t that reset it to default?

  277. Digital flat panel 1024×768 60 Hrz

  278. I would think so, which makes me suspect hardware error. Software’s cheaper to fix, though (at least in home electronics), so exhaust that possibility first.

  279. Aw, I was just ribbin’ ya, Chief.

  280. Leon – I downloaded an updated driver from Intel this afternoon – wouldn’t that reset it to default?

    Not if you got the wrong driver. It’s an HP, so you might be better off getting the driver from their site.

    Is there anything with a yellow triangle on it?

  281. SeanM – How ’bout them Fightin’ Phillies?!

  282. Wiser – Nope

  283. Is there anything with a yellow triangle on it?

    No passing zone?

  284. Hmmmm……

    try uninstalling the monitor from device manager and restart the system.

  285. Roger – I’ll give it a shot. BTW – Thanks for the help, assmunch!

  286. Roger – I’ll give it a shot. BTW – Thanks for the help, assmunch!

    Oh…. wait….. I was supposed to be helping?

  287. SeanM – How ’bout them Fightin’ Phillies?!

    I don’t really look at the standings this early in the season, so I didn’t know they had such a good record.

    The Angels managed to beat the Yankees today. They’re off to a shitty start this season.

  288. Is there anything with a yellow triangle on it?

    Knowing MCPO, he probably has pink triangles instead.

  289. Since y’all are boring as hell, and I’m exhausted–> Night!

  290. Just wait for the cat pee to dry.

  291. Wiserblub – No pink triangles and no joy on the uninstall and reboot. I think I’m hosed like one of Sean’s goats.

  292. don’t give up yet.

    Now uninstall the display driver and restart. You might have to restart twice for this to reinstall.

  293. Scott – I’ve got no cat, but a do have a twitchy bladder!

  294. I don’t own any goats, Chief. I just borrow PJ’s.

  295. It’s taking awhile to do that uninstall!

  296. Has PJ thought about what she’s going to do with the goats if she’s forced to move out of her home?

    Or is this a question that I probably shouldn’t be asking?

  297. It’s deleting the whole chipset! Changed resolution too!

  298. It’s deleting the whole chipset! Changed resolution too!

    Don’t worry. It’s now using the generic Windows display driver and that has a basic 800×600 resolution. When you restart, it should reinstall the correct driver and then you can reset the resolution.

  299. Don’t worry, wiser, when she moves to her M&D’s house, it’s gonna be veggies in the front, animals in the back. Like an organic mullet.

  300. The suspense is killing me…….

  301. Wow. Kilt. Mostly dead.

  302. MOM!!!!! PATTY ANN IS SLEEPING WITH THE POSTS AGAIN!!!!!

  303. Well, it rebooted three times, went thru several resolution gyrations, and failed to resolve the problem.

  304. Brew, compliments on living in an absolutely gorgeous state.

    Thanks, I like it. Most people who visit do too. Did you get a chance to walk any of the trails around Devil’s Lake?

  305. Well, it rebooted three times, went thru several resolution gyrations, and failed to resolve the problem.

    gimme a sec. thinking……..

    In the meantime, did you do what mesa said to try?

  306. wiser – don’t have the right size Phillips head screwdrivers to remove the case.

  307. Jeopardy and dinner soon. See youse fagse later.

  308. Well, it rebooted three times, went thru several resolution gyrations, and failed to resolve the problem.

    connect it to an external monitor to eliminate the graphics card as the problem.

  309. I use the term graphics card loosely as the graphics chipset is on the motherboard but you know what I mean…

  310. connect it to an external monitor to eliminate the graphics card as the problem.

    i agree.

  311. I’ll have to try that tomorrow. herself is working on the other computer – actual work, work.

  312. wiser when you coming to Milwaukee? I need to take you to see a *professional* baseball team play.

  313. I’m hoping it’s just the connector!

  314. Chief, did you cycle it through the laptop/external/both monitor settings?

  315. I’m out of suggestions. If you can’t get it to work, take two martinis and call Bill Gates in the morning.

  316. Night all!

  317. I should have bought a fucking Powerbook!!!!

  318. wiser when you coming to Milwaukee?

    I keep trying. I’m heading to Columbus, OH next week and Vegas for the day the following week.

  319. If it doesn’t work with an external monitor, you motherboard is fucked.

    Sorry,dude.

  320. The son unit just got back from Minnesota. He’s on the way to Chicago tomorrow and then Heartland, Wisconsin.

  321. Wassup peoples?

  322. Are you going to get to see him, MCPO?

    Hi vmax sweetie.

  323. Hi PattyAnnibell! How are you feeling?

  324. PattyAnn – Yes, dear. We hope to get up there in late June. I miss the shithead something awful!

  325. Sure, TI trundles off to bed just when I was gonna tell her about the giant Golden Eagle with the 7′ wing-span in the east pasture. I’ve lived here 40 years and never seen one on this side of the Cascades.
    Now I know where the 16 year-old cat went when he went out hunting the other day. Hunter, hunted, it depends. That thing was so big it could carry off PJs goats! It’s talons were bigger than my hands, and I have long fingers.

  326. vmax, I’m still plugging away.

    MCPO, this is the son with the absolutely drop-dead, gorgeous wife, yes? I’m glad that you’re going to get to visit.

  327. PA – Yes ma’am. That would be him.

  328. Anybody out there have any ideas as to why my filtered water and icemaker suddenly quit working in my frig? We changed out the water filter not very long ago.

  329. *MEMO TO LINDSEY GRAHAM:

    When you sell your soul to get something, you don’t win. You are an idiot, please remember that. You don’t need to tax Americans for gas to get oil companies to drill for oil. Why are you doing something this stupid before the midterms?

  330. Patty Ann – after you changed out the filter, did you remember to turn the water back on?

  331. Mare- He is a supreme idiot! Of all the good folks I met in South Carolina, who picked this asshole to be the Republican Senator?!?!

  332. My hubby forgot once and had to pull the fridge back out!

  333. I went to a party tonight to see a friend from New Zealand that I have not seen in 20 years. I ran into a ex from 20 years ago too. Sparks flew! I do not think anything will happen (her BF showed up a few hours late) But sparks were fun!

  334. Not that I’m not happy with your lovely company, but where the hell is everyone?

  335. Hahahaha. Yes, Cyn, we turned it back on.

  336. New Poat.

  337. Hi Master Chief!
    It has been dead around the intertubes for the past few weeks hasn’t it?
    I use deodorant, and brush and floss, Honest!


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