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It Was Either This or Another Chapter of My Novel…

And no, I didn’t really care of more of the novel being torn up for cheap entertainment.  That should be reserved for important things…Like Barack Hussein Obama’s speeches on why all insurance isn’t equal.

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February 27, 2010
Categories: alcohol, bacon, Booze, Chief Grumpybutt, Don't Make Me Kill You, Douche-bagger, Drinking heavily, Drunken SeaHorse Blogging, No Drama, Peace Through Douche, people make me sick, shut your whore mouth, You're a TOTAL douche, You're gonna love my nuts, Your mom likes this . . Author: Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere

147 Comments

  1. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on February 27, 2010 10:37 pm

    Don’t ask me how I found wiser’s home movies.

  2. Comment by mare on February 27, 2010 10:37 pm

    HEy, bitches.

  3. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 10:41 pm

    I didn’t know BiW owned a bar!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZX-sUGWt6o

  4. Comment by doc on February 27, 2010 10:41 pm

    evenin – you weather those tootnammy thingies alright, mare?

  5. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 10:42 pm

    Yay, aquarium pictures. *fiddles with photoshop*

  6. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 27, 2010 10:43 pm

    http://doubleplusundead.mee.nu/my_healthcare_message_to_the_left

  7. Comment by Dave in Texas on February 27, 2010 10:43 pm

    ok, time for bed.

    nite goobers. also thanks for the well wishes… we’re cool here.

  8. Comment by mare on February 27, 2010 10:44 pm

    Yes, doc but it was kind of a wasted day.

  9. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on February 27, 2010 10:45 pm

    I didn’t know BiW owned a bar!

    Aside from not being gay, skinny, or Canadian, you nailed it, wiser!

  10. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 10:47 pm

    Howdy!

  11. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 10:47 pm

    Hey, Vmax!

  12. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 10:48 pm

    whattup, vmaximilian?

  13. Comment by mesa in Texas on February 27, 2010 10:49 pm

  14. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 10:49 pm

    Aside from not being gay, skinny, or Canadian, you nailed it, wiser!

    Wait….. you’re not Canadian?

  15. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 10:49 pm

    http://i.imgur.com/Aq6z6.jpg

    Hey, I’ve got one of those!

  16. Comment by mesa in Texas on February 27, 2010 10:50 pm

    Party at Dave’s house — http://i.imgur.com/0Z7gu.jpg

  17. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 10:51 pm

    where’s all the white wimmens at?

  18. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 10:53 pm

    The dinner with Red and the Boss and Bosses wife went well. Everyone raved at my cooking, no one got drunk and caused a fuss. Zeke charmed them all.

  19. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 10:53 pm

    Ember Jr. got to pet stingrays today. She was so excited. *happy dances*

  20. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 10:53 pm

    no one got drunk and caused a fuss.

    Awwwwww……. Well, there’s always next time.

  21. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 10:55 pm

    Did any stingrays get drunk? Did Vmax’s boss get petted?

  22. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 10:56 pm

    I had my first drink a moment ago. By waiting until Boss and Red left I insured I would not be fired, or in trouble.

    I. Am. The. Weakest. Link!

  23. Comment by mare on February 27, 2010 10:58 pm

    Well done, Vmax!!

  24. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:00 pm

    I haven’t achieved anything. At all. All day.

  25. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:01 pm

    I will go on record now and say that Blue Stilton cheese is the best blue cheese ever!

    Thanks Mare

  26. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:02 pm

    where the fuck is everybody?

  27. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:02 pm

    I haven’t even downloaded any decent pron

  28. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:03 pm

    It’s been dead on the tubes all day.

  29. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:04 pm

    I’m fucking with pictures in photoshop. Which makes me forget to be entertaining. Not that I’m ever all that entertaining.

  30. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:07 pm

    I made the mistake of trying to engage that douche Christoph re: his assertion regarding how “courageous” people who commit suicide are over at Ace’s. My mistake. He really is a waste of time. He makes Bob seem almost rational.

  31. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:08 pm

    You may or may not be entertaining, but you’re light years ahead of wiser. Or Sean. Or BiW.

  32. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:09 pm

    Thanks sky,
    That reminds me to photoshop some crap out of a pic I want to submit of Zeke for the calender.

  33. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:09 pm

    wow, that sentence won’t win any awards….

  34. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:10 pm

    Which thread was that?

    And you had to have known he was just being provocative.

  35. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:10 pm

    Bob is such a douche. I hope you can mess with his comments Wiser.

  36. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:11 pm

    but you’re light years ahead of wiser. Or Sean. Or BiW.

    your opinion means so much to me.

  37. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on February 27, 2010 11:11 pm

    You may or may not be entertaining, but you’re light years ahead of wiser. Or Sean. Or BiW.

    I could always post that chapter…

  38. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:13 pm

    Oh, have some whiskey and stop your bickering, boys. *pours shots around*

  39. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:14 pm

    You doughheads have seen her legs, right?

  40. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:14 pm

    The top Hawaii tsunami thread. Starts here, with the asshole responding to the news that Marie Osmond’s kid committed suicide:

    http://minx.cc/?blog=86&post=298789#c9056999

    And yeah, I should have known better. He’s nothing but a smug little troll who tries to stir up shit. I stupidly let myself get caught up.

  41. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:15 pm

    Hey for once I am on the same page as wiser.

    What is wrong with me?

    Thanks Sky

  42. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:16 pm

    I hope you can mess with his comments Wiser.

    Yeah, that’ll be fun to watch is head explode.

    *pours shots around*

    Ya know, she is rather entertaining, now that I think about it.

  43. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:18 pm

    And, if it ups my entertainment value at all, I do have a photoshoot this week. With teh new corset.

  44. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:18 pm

    What is wrong with me?

    *cancels trip to Florida….

  45. Comment by mesa in Texas on February 27, 2010 11:20 pm

    Ninja Assassin.

  46. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:21 pm

    Heheh I had to say that wiser.

    And Sky has hot legs.

  47. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:23 pm

    Sky, you’re gonna share pics, right?

  48. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:24 pm

    Of course, xbrad. I am an attention whoring picture slut. What else would I do with the pics?

  49. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:26 pm

    And Sky has hot legs.

    Well, d’uh.

    *taps empty shot glass on table……

  50. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:27 pm

    *pours wiser another*

  51. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:27 pm

    Send me pics too sky!

    I like legs and bums, but mostly bums.

  52. Comment by doc on February 27, 2010 11:28 pm

    “I am an attention whoring picture slut.”

    They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

  53. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:31 pm

    They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

    Problem?

  54. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:31 pm

    “They say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.”

    Any other guys think me being an attention whoring picture slut is a problem? Just curious. 😉

  55. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:31 pm

    *pours wiser another*

    And thanks, honey.

    *smack

  56. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:32 pm

    “And thanks, honey.

    *smack”

    *is a caring giver*

  57. Comment by xbradtc on February 27, 2010 11:33 pm

    Not. A. Problem. At. All.

  58. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:34 pm

    I am a attention giver sky

  59. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 27, 2010 11:34 pm

    wiser: I saw that comment. Between that and the shit thrown around by Docweasel and Blazer over the Doc Zero post last night, I really wonder what the hell is wrong with some people

  60. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 27, 2010 11:37 pm

    http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2010/02/27/rick-sanchez-so-nine-meters-english-how-much

  61. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:37 pm

    The Boss said we are working in Tampa next week, not locally. Installing A/C unit, gutters, electrical, and firring strips.

  62. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:40 pm

    It’s that same mindset that considers the 9/11 terrorists courageous. It’s an attempt to remove and elevate oneself above the baser “emotions” that we lesser souls wallow in.

    They feel that it somehow means they are evolved or something. Personally, I think it places them beneath us, like emotionless animals who only exist for their own survival and satisfaction.

  63. Comment by Elliott on February 27, 2010 11:42 pm

    Personally, i think Ember posts pics just to suck up to ATC

  64. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:42 pm

    http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2010/02/27/rick-sanchez-so-nine-meters-english-how-much

    HAHAHAHA!!! What a fucking ‘tard. Someone said that he also pointed to the Galapagos Islands and said “this is Hawaii, right?”

  65. Comment by wiserbud on February 27, 2010 11:45 pm

    Personally, i think Ember posts pics just to suck up to ATC

    So much more unwrong than it was just a few minutes ago…

  66. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:48 pm

    “Personally, i think Ember posts pics just to suck up to ATC”

    Why do I need to suck up to ATC?

  67. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:51 pm

    Alex is SO HOT!

  68. Comment by Elliott on February 27, 2010 11:51 pm

    Why do I need to suck up to ATC?

    For the large cash prizes

  69. Comment by skyliaember on February 27, 2010 11:52 pm

    There are cash prizes? She’s been holding out on me.

  70. Comment by Vmaximus on February 27, 2010 11:52 pm

    As is Sky

  71. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 27, 2010 11:52 pm

    http://www.magic-city-news.com/Entertainment_8/What_Men_Want_Women_to_Know13092.shtml

  72. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:01 am

    Actually, I’d rather they not know that I have no idea what I’m doing when I open the hood of a car. And I have never failed to put an appliance back together after taking it apart. I have more trouble with my Ruger, damn thing is a pain in the ass compared to every other gun I’ve ever taken apart to clean.

  73. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:02 am

    What kind of Ruger?

  74. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 28, 2010 12:02 am

    http://www.kfvs12.com/Global/story.asp?S=12051549

  75. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:06 am

    Mk III 22/45. I think I just don’t have the patience or memory to remember when the gun needs to be pointed up, trigger needs to be pulled, or magazine needs to be in. I have a 1911 and a CZ75 that I can field strip and reassemble in a minute if I get bored enough. That gun just annoys the shit out of me

  76. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:07 am

    It takes you a minute to disassemble and reassemble a 1911?

    My personal record for disassemble is 9 seconds. Takes about 20 to put back together.

  77. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:08 am

    It’s old, Eddie. I think it was Mesa that linked that Thursday or Friday.

  78. Comment by pendejo grande on February 28, 2010 12:08 am

    Fawtywatah fail.

  79. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:10 am

    It takes you a minute to disassemble and reassemble a 1911?

    Never actually timed myself going for speed. Just taking a wildass guess based on how long it takes when I clean it, minus the cleaning time.

  80. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 28, 2010 12:10 am

    oh well. C’est la vie and all that shit

  81. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:12 am

    You took that better than I expected, Eddie. I thought for sure you’d drop a few f’bombs.

  82. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 28, 2010 12:15 am

    naw, I fucked up. My bad.

  83. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:16 am

    So… The Dubai assassination of that Hamas douche…? Mossad… or not?

    Personally, I don’t think it was Mossad.

  84. Comment by Eddie The Bear on February 28, 2010 12:18 am

    I blame the Freemasons

  85. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:20 am

    I thought you would have blamed The Weavers.

  86. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:32 am

    Caspian Sea Monster

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgtaeRZjWNc

  87. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 12:37 am

    Okay. I’m done fucking with photoshop for tonight. Let’s get down to serious business.

    *pours shots around*

  88. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:38 am

    Sorry, I don’t drink. Pills are good though

  89. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 12:40 am

    We have some muscle relaxants left over from when Mr. Ember threw out his back last week …

  90. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:41 am

    **Gulps whiskey**

    **belches loudly**

    Good stuff, sweetcheeks.

  91. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 12:42 am

    Glad to contribute to the cause, xbrad.

  92. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:44 am

    We have some muscle relaxants left over from when Mr. Ember threw out his back last week …

    Downside to working in a pharmacy is the random drug tests. I get to spend my time blind stinking sober. Of course, I could drink, just tend to not.

  93. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:45 am

    Man, I don’t fit in here at all do I?

  94. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:47 am

    Elliott being a rummy loser FAIL!!

  95. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 12:48 am

    I don’t need no sober people sitting around judging me! *cries in a corner*

  96. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:50 am

    I don’t judge, dear. Haven’t had religion in over a decade

  97. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:50 am

    There, there, Ember.

    Elliott isn’t judging you.

    And if he is, I’ll kill him.

    And dump his body in a dumpster.

  98. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 12:52 am

    *takes another shot* Okay. I believe you both.

  99. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:52 am

    And dump his body in a dumpster.

    You know, that’s actually one of the best places to dump a body these days. Once it gets to the landfill, the odds of anyone finding it after even a day are tiny.

  100. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:54 am

    You mentioned that a week or two ago, Elliott.

  101. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 12:54 am

    Methinks Elliott might have some experience with dumpster-body-dumping.

  102. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:55 am

    Yeah, I’m just shocked that someone listened.

  103. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 12:56 am

    Oh, I listen to important stuff.

    Useful stuff.

  104. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:57 am

    Methinks Elliott might have some experience with dumpster-body-dumping.

    Only passing along the knowledge shared with me by one of my teachers.

  105. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 12:58 am

    “Only passing along the knowledge shared with me by one of my teachers.”

    Totally believable.

  106. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:58 am

    Oh, I listen to important stuff.

    Useful stuff.

    In that case, heat and light destroys DNA

  107. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 12:59 am

    Oh, and a number of household cleaners glow the same when using Luminol

  108. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 1:02 am

    So there you go, how to hide a body, cover up “dna”, and how to hide trace blood evidence.

  109. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:05 am

    Can I just hire you if I ever need someone, um, removed?

  110. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:05 am

    The very, very, very most important thing is, don’t talk to the police.

  111. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 1:06 am

    Can I just hire you if I ever need someone, um, removed?

    We’ll see if I can get a decent job once I’ve got my Masters. Should I need to freelance for the defense, so be it

  112. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 1:08 am

    That’s true. Never, ever talk to the police without a lawyer. You can only hurt yourself. And if they ever mention in court that you asserted your rights, any decent lawyer will file right then and there for a mistrial and they will get it. 2nd trials favor the defense.

  113. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:08 am

    I like the way Elliott willfully misunderstands the question.

  114. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:10 am

    Any Facechimpers, I just uploaded a bunch of pictures of the aquarium. Nothing hawt. Just cute family pics.

  115. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 1:10 am

    I like the way Elliott willfully misunderstands the question.

    Just phrasing it differently for the sake of plausible deniability should this ever come up in the future.

  116. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:18 am

    EJ is just a cute little bug at the bugarium.

  117. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:19 am

    All the other little kids there were terrified to pet the bugs, but she didn’t even blink an eye at it. Guy held out the cockroach and asked if she wanted to pet it and she was all about it. She had an awesome time.

  118. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:29 am

    I’d have been stomping those roaches into oblivion.

    Hate, hate, hate bugs. Not really picky about whether they’re good bugs or bad bugs.

    Stomp, stomp, stomp.

  119. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:31 am

    They tend to frown upon that in bug museums.

    Weirdly, the Insectarium is a federal building, so getting in is rather like going through airport security.

  120. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:33 am

    Oh, great. Killing a cockroach is a federal crime.

  121. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:34 am

    So is leaving the butterfly room with a butterfly.

  122. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:36 am

    Guess it’s a good thing you didn’t take that can of Raid I tried to give to you last night.

  123. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:39 am

    Apparently. I don’t need to get tackled by homeland security or nothin’.

    Did see a giant Homeland Security bus. It looked like a tour bus, but it had sirens and flashing lights (which were in use when I saw it) and say, quite plainly, Homeland Security on it.

  124. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:41 am

    I have to get up early tomorrow.
    Sux to be me.

  125. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:42 am

    Of course, “early” is a relative term, like, say, 8:30.

  126. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:44 am

    Hah. The little one wakes me and the hubby up at 6:30 sharp every morning.

    Speaking of, I should probably be headed to bed. I am exhausted!

  127. Comment by skyliaember on February 28, 2010 1:45 am

    Night, boys. *pours more shots around. if no one’s left but xbrad, he can have’em all*

  128. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 1:47 am

    I suppose that means he’s gonna get drunk and urinate on the sofa again

  129. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:49 am

    I’ve never urinated on the sofa.

    **slams several shots**

    **pees on Elliott**

  130. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:49 am

    **unless Elliott is into that kind of thing**

  131. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 1:50 am

    Not from a man, no. Wait! No! No! Not from anyone. You shut up!

  132. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 1:57 am

    I feel obligated to say something, anything, just to make sure this thread doesn’t end on that note.

  133. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 2:02 am

    It’s those enjoyable awkward silences

  134. Comment by xbradtc on February 28, 2010 2:32 am

    Yeah, um…

    That last silence was more awkward than enjoyable.

  135. Comment by Elliott on February 28, 2010 3:16 am

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G67mRngS_RY

    I wonder how many people went to 4chan after seeing this and were changed forever

  136. Comment by Sean M. on February 28, 2010 4:14 am

    I went to 4chan before that, and it didn’t really do anything to me.

    Scary, no?

  137. Comment by Sean M. on February 28, 2010 4:24 am

    Oh, also, I was looking for hentai. The horrifying kind. Found some, too.

  138. Comment by Sean M. on February 28, 2010 4:45 am

    There were tentacles everywhere, I tell you! And, by everywhere, I mean everywhere. I’ve never been so disgusted and aroused at the same time.

    *beats self to death with slightly-used rubber fist*

  139. Comment by Car in on February 28, 2010 7:46 am

    Morning.

  140. Comment by BrewFan on February 28, 2010 8:16 am

    Good morning Car in, anything exciting planned for the day?

  141. Comment by Car in on February 28, 2010 8:23 am

    Nope. My legs and arse workout. Big breakfast, yell at the newspaper, church, clean up, watch my family play Call of Duty.

    That’s about it.

    We’re going away next weekend skiing, so we’ll probably start planning meals,etc. We always get a condo with a kitchen.

    I’m thinking Spaghetti is good after a day of skiing. Husband thinks burger would be good for another meal, but I’m not so hot for that one.

    So, your job, should you choose to accept, is to come up with another meal.

    Something easy.

    I can’t WAIT till Wiser shows up. He loves recipe chat.

  142. Comment by Vmaximus on February 28, 2010 8:28 am

    Carin,
    for something simple and quick I like Zatarins dirty rice. Ground beef, dirty rice, done.

  143. Comment by Andy on February 28, 2010 9:07 am

    Mornin’ derelicts.

  144. Comment by Car in on February 28, 2010 9:25 am

    I used to love dirty rice, until I learned the “dirt” was liver.

    Yuck.

  145. Comment by Car in on February 28, 2010 9:26 am

    Home made belgian waffles for breakfast! Who wants some?

  146. Comment by lauraw on February 28, 2010 9:38 am

    Home made belgian waffles for breakfast!

    *dazzled*
    Who are you and how did you get so beautiful?

  147. Comment by Andy on February 28, 2010 10:03 am

    The best new post in the history of Tittyweb Jenkins is now up!


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