Hostages go Green!

We get Hate Mail around here. I mean a lot of Hate Mail. And if Cuffy is hanging out, well, I just won’t go there. Most of it if from Douche Bag Leftists ( Is that redundant?) complaining that we Hate Gaiaia or, or what ever her name is. Well, we here at the Hostages are very concerned about the Environment.  This is why we would rather Kill a Hippie than Bathe One.   Our R&D Department is Proud to showcase one of our Pioneering Efforts that became a major success story. Recycling Miss Tattooed Intellectual’s Bra’s. This took some doing. ( We wore out four Forklifts, and sent seven UPS Drivers into early retirement.)  When the Bra was fully  deployed, they would take a 1500 pound 280 MPH Dragster backwards. We had to cut down the surface area some, otherwise the boys couldn’t complete their Quarter Mile Run.The finished results are below.   So Suck On That “Barry”…..

Please feel to Fold, Spindle, Mutilate, Etc. Etc. Etc…..

97 Comments

  1. Morning folks.

    Note to Geoff – I did NOT read all the comments this time.

    Slacker…

    *** Puts Coffee on the Counter ***

  2. Well, he called me “systematic” yesterday.

  3. Well, he called me “systematic” yesterday.

    Did you make a Graph that looked like you were “flipping the bird”? Fight fire with fire…..

  4. A graph … should I use diamonds?

  5. What did I miss while I was sleeping? Xbrad and Seanm fighting over dolly again?

  6. MSN headlines least likely to make me click through – part of a continuing series:

    Dodger dishes on Rihanna

  7. 758 comments in one thread???

    What the hell is WRONG with you people???

  8. STFU

  9. I hope you read them all Wiser. There will be a quiz.

  10. I got two Nobel Peace Prizes.

    Two, sucka.

  11. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. For my kids.

    I’ve got Jane Eyre on CD – and it is SO FREAKIN GOOD. Yes, I’ve read the book numerous times, but this is the first time it’s been read to me.

    Love it.

  12. The election is over Dave. shesh.

  13. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRUPBHobLjk

  14. OH. Content warning, language.

  15. >> The election is over Dave. shesh.

    I’m always in campaign mode.

    So how YOU doin?

  16. Carin, you can get a lot of the classics on line here:

    http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page

    I lurves it.

    I’ve downloaded Frankenstein and Bram Stoker’s Dracula onto Graham’s cheap little MP3 player for free.

  17. OH. Content warning, language.

    hahahahaha

  18. Why does Sox get sent all the hostage hate mail?

  19. Dracula is a tough book – Matty tried it and it was too tough (I figured it would be). Frankenstein is good.

  20. Why does Sox get sent all the hostage hate mail?

    Cause he’s a pussy?

  21. Why does Sox get sent all the hostage hate mail?

    *koff* Rosetta *koff*

  22. Steps outside for a smoke and to watch Laura’s nsfw vid

  23. That was LOW PG….

    Later Y’all….

  24. At my library they have The Art of War narrated by Ron Silver. I loved it.

    Course I could be biased, I’m a Ron Silver fan.

    I’m looking at the reviews and this is what one person said about the book.

    “Thought this might have some philosophy or insight that could be applied to business or modern day living. I didnt get anything out of this book. It stresses that a person should practice deception and deceit in order to achieve advantages over others. For ancient war ok but the wisdom didn’t sit well with me to adapt as a style of living. I’d rather be taken advantage of than sacrifice my integrity. However, tips on positioning your chariots on high ground with the sun at your back might come in use when you play paintball. ”

    what a retard.

    ok, crawling back into bed with Gavin

  25. So that’s how you make garlic mashed potatoes.

  26. However, tips on positioning your chariots on high ground with the sun at your back might come in use when you play paintball. ”

    what a retard.

    Whatever you do, don’t upset his cocooon. He’s spent a lilfetime makiing it into the perfect comfort zone.

  27. Was that a guy or girl in Lauras video?

    Can’t tell.

  28. ok, crawling back into bed with Gavin

    If I didn’t know that was your sick child, I’d make a smart-ass comment or something.

    Since I do, I’ll say: Perv!

  29. James Taranto is DA BOMB, BABY!!!

    From todays Best of the Web:

    “A delivery driver drank enough vodka to be four times over the limit for ‘Dutch courage,’ because he was scared of the Forth Road Bridge,” the Scotsman reports:”

    Leon Wasilewski claimed he had been drinking heavily because he was afraid of bridges and had been told to cross the Forth to carry out his next delivery.

    He parked his van in a stranger’s driveway to sleep, but when he was woken up and questioned, he reversed at speed and crashed into a tree. When police arrived, Wasilewski was still in the diving [sic] seat, and they found him to be slurring his words and unsteady on his feet, so he was arrested.

    “Thank goodness they caught him. The last time somebody tried something like this, poor Mary Jo Kopechne paid the ultimate price.”

    BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

  30. Was that a guy or girl in Lauras video?

    Looked like a boi to me. NTTAWWT

  31. That chimp in EB’s link reminds me of my granny. (Shut Your Whore Mouths until I finish!!)

    My granny used to smoke L&M’s while she played Hearts or Spades. She’d get so wrapped up in the game she’d forget to flick off her ashes. As kids we’d be mesmerized by how damned long the ash would get before it would fall off on her shirt. I swear she could hold that cig still enough for the ashes to reach an inch and half to two inches befoe they’d break away. All us boys still sit around and marvel about it to this day. Especially when we’re drinking a few.

  32. Anyone care to speculate what happened when these petite flowers got back to their hotel rooms?

    http://tinyurl.com/ycy5l5w

  33. I don’t know enough about hockey culture to answer that question, Wiser. But if hockey in Canada is anything like softball in America, then there probably wasn’t an unpolished clit in the whole joint by the morning.

  34. *bursts out laughing at the word ‘unpolished’*

  35. Good morning, sons.

    Let me put you some knowledge: http://tinyurl.com/yc4udtk

  36. Dave? Dave in Texas?

    http://tinyurl.com/yd7o4hb

  37. Compps that was incredibly funny and incredibly sick at the same time. When balanced out, funny wins.

    The answer was great.

  38. Whew. I thought compos was gonna link “that picture” again.

  39. Let me put you some knowledge: http://tinyurl.com/yc4udtk

    Great. Red Adair just called and said I didn’t meet the qualifications for employment. I was this close.

  40. “Dave? Dave in Texas?
    http://tinyurl.com/yd7o4hb

    I love it when animals say, “son of a bitch.”

  41. This poat is moving at about the speed of pandas fucking.

    Doesn’t everybody celebrate FIAF?

  42. Glad you liked it Mare. That being nice shit was giving me a case of the bi-polaroids.

  43. “that picture”

    You know you love that pic. I myself giggled practically non-stop at the thought of that picture for two whole days. Then lw linked it again last week and it was just as funny as the first time.

  44. What possessed you to do that Compos? I mentioned that it made me uncomfortable with you being so nice.

  45. What picture?

  46. The “Good morning, son” picture.

  47. Did you see that video at Ace’s of Maxine Waters and Bernanke?

    Besides being black and female, how did she get on that committee? I throw the word “idiot” around a lot, but she really is an idiot. There might actually be some non functioning parts of her brain. Like the whole frontal lobe.

  48. “The “Good morning, son” picture.”

    (((((shiver)))))

  49. GIRL FIGHT!

    http://tinyurl.com/ycxyxvw

  50. I SAID GIRL FIGHT!!

    http://tinyurl.com/ycxyxvw

  51. For the record, since I was not around last evening, I believe the age order from the top down is:

    1. ChrisP
    2. Moi
    3. BrewFan
    4. Chief

    Now go make us a sammich.

  52. I don’t know Dave. The last couple of flights I’ve been on the stews were so old that I think they probably would break a hip if they tried to scuffle. And the dude stews were flaming.

    **another porno fantasy from my youth bites the duts**

  53. For the record, since I was not around last evening, I believe the age order from the top down is:

    1. ChrisP
    2. Moi
    3. BrewFan
    4. Chief

    5. Dirt

    FIFY

    Now go pick me up some Pedialyte at Walgreens.

  54. Dude, I didn’t say it was nekkid fantasy mud wrestling, I said it was a girl fight.

    Odd favor them being younger than you.

  55. Morning.

    Where the hell is my cat with teh coffee?

  56. PG, based on your PoL, I think you are in the 5 slot, so STFU and go get the beer.

  57. It’s the next five on the list I’m concerned about.

    6. dave in Texas

    7. mare

    8. wiser

    9. ?

    10. ?

  58. LOL

    http://radio.barackobama.com/

  59. What possessed you to do that Compos?

    scottw. The dude always ignores me. I figure since lauraw’s married to him, he must have some good qualities. I want to be one of the cool kids. I figured if I played nice, maybe he’d want me to be on his team instead of making me stand there alone, after everyone else had already been picked. I tried giving him a hard time. You know, the whole “negative attention is better than no attention” thing. But he was having none of it.

    It was either that or I just felt like fucking with you dunderheads.

  60. 9. ?
    10. ?

    I’m not playing this game.

  61. Could someone break me out of jail?

  62. Car in, you’re not even in the zipcode, let alone ballpark.

  63. I’d wager c3po has underwear older than car in.

  64. scottw. The dude always ignores me.

    I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but his online persona is kind of detached, and not in the airy, breezy, good way. It’s like he’s on the site, but he’s talking to the Hostages from another dimension.
    Don’t know why his writing comes off that way to me, but it does, and it’s kind of a crackup.

  65. It’s like he’s on the site, but he’s talking to the Hostages from another dimension.

    I think he just hangs out here to make sure we’re not posting anymore poetry about your hoo-hoo.

  66. I think of him as a disembodied spirit, the ghost in the machine. The muse that floats on a gossamer thread materializing in various corporeal and temporal beings.

    You know, gay.

  67. PG, based on your PoL, I think you are in the 5 slot, so STFU and go get the beer.

    I heard Mare admit to being 49 on here the other day. Depending on her birthday she might or might not edge me out for the 5 slot. I was born on Mother’s day 1960. I must’ve been a blessing cause mom had 2 more.

  68. Good morning brothers and sisters…and crazy cousins, and weird uncles, and odd aunts.

    I had a dream about all of us last night that was so good I woke up laughing. I lurve you guys. Even BrewFan.

  69. Man, my one dog is so needy. He won’t even let me type. Keeps bashing he head against my arms trying to get me to pet him.

    He’s a nut.

    And, thanks Compos and Hotspur. I’ll take the smoke blown up my ass. Just like I did yesterday at the gym when two guys were going on about how fit I am.

    Why protest (even if they’re wrong)? Why not just enjoy it?

  70. Hey BiW,

    In your dream was I hung like a jackdonkey?

  71. Were we in Hawaii, BiW?

  72. I sure hope BiW dreamed my boobs bigger.

  73. I hope that we were all this clothed, BiW.

  74. this=still.

    Wow. How the heck did that happen?

    *notices that someone has tampered with my cigarettes and that there’s some kind of crystalline stuff in them*

  75. Clothed and about 10-15 years younger for most of us.

  76. Not that I care, but who’s doing BBF™ today?

  77. Check this shit out Car in.

    I had to modify the p90x for about a week cause I had a growth cut out of my arm w wks ago today and I didnt’ want to rip the stitches with all the motion and what have you. So I skipped about 3 days did an hour on the elliptical one day, did the plyo w/o one day and did the yoga w/o one day. Then I went back on it hardcore starting last Saturday. Had 5 great workouts this week. Sore as hell all over. This morning the scale said I’d gained 6 lbs in the past 3 wks. The tape says my ass and upper thighs are an inch bigger than they were a 3 wks ago. Evidently p90x, as intense as it is, doesn’t mean you get to eat every fucking thing your heart desires. I guess I’m gonna have to go back to exercising a bit of self-discipline.

    FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!! *shakes fist at sky*

  78. Clothed and about 10-15 years younger for most of us.

    Yay! I’m just barely old enough to drive!

  79. Clothed and about 10-15 years younger for most of us.

    I thought you said it was funny.

  80. This morning the scale said I’d gained 6 lbs in the past 3 wks. The tape says my ass and upper thighs are an inch bigger than they were a 3 wks ago.

    Any chance it’s muscle gain?

  81. . Evidently p90x, as intense as it is, doesn’t mean you get to eat every fucking thing your heart desires. I guess I’m gonna have to go back to exercising a bit of self-disciplin

    Yes, sad reality. Honestly, the commercial exercise industry pimps the message that if you work out (3 times a week!) you can get in the best shape of your life.

    IT’S A LIE.

    I’ve been doing P90X for … two? years now. It wasn’t until I started South Beach last summer that I finally started “seeing” the results. But, I “was” fit underneath that 20 extra pounds – lol.

  82. Not that much. Plus the only explanation for an extra inch in the ass is adipose tissue.

    I’m hoping some of it is water retention from sore muscles recovering, but I don’t really know enough about the physiology of the recovery and rebuilding process.

  83. Don’t forget that larger muscles burn more calories, therefore it’s good to try to gain some additional size in your legs, chest, and back. Try mixing in some lower rep, heavier lifting.

  84. It’s hard (heh) because working out a lot makes you REALLY FREAKING hungary.

    I try to eat light dinners, because at lunch time I can’t control myself.

  85. Lunch. bbl

  86. Almost time for Rush. Think he’ll have some fun things to say about obamaradio.com?

  87. You know, gay.

    He told me your hair smells like old saddle leather.

    You know, like sweaty horses and ass.

  88. >> He told me your hair smells like old saddle leather.

    I did that for him. That bitch.

  89. It’s hard (heh) because working out a lot makes you REALLY FREAKING hungary.

    At my age (49) one thing I notice is that I don’t recover nearly as fast as I did when I was in my twenties and early thirties. So I’m trying to make danged sure that I get enough protein that I can recover before the next w/o. But then you get into the whole “who wants to eat a bunch of tuna salad without some crackers or bread” and “who wants to eat a steak w/o some taters and red beans” and the next thing you know you’re sitting at about 400g carbs for the day.

  90. Oh, great. Now we’re a diet blog.

    **cuts self**

  91. Man up xbrad.

    drop and give me 20.

  92. Diet and Exercise goddammit. We don’t do shit halfassed around here.

    And I got some stitches you can borrow since the fucking doc couldn’t seem to get my ass out of the waiting room yesterday in time to remove them.

  93. Lemme get back to you on that, Car in.

    I think I did a push up a couple years ago.

  94. I had to do a ratio yesterday. I seriously had to stop to remember how to write the equation.

    Use it or lose it, bitches.

  95. I was told there would be no math …

  96. New Poat, window lickers…with some marching orders…


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