It’s Short, It Won’t Kill You To Watch It

Be warned, there’s one “F” bomb that gets dropped in case your boss don’t like that kinda schtuff.

758 Comments

  1. Fist.

  2. k, now that I have you here carin, I want your recipe for Russian something. I saw it the other day and must have.

    I’m loving Rush today.

  3. Hi. Anyone up for some vajazzling?

    http://www.theluxuryspot.com/2010/02/23/i-got-vajazzled-and-had-a-camera-crew/

    If it’s old, I don’t care.

  4. fukc

  5. Hmmm, I wonder if he knows Amy Steele?

  6. Hi. Anyone up for some vajazzling?

    Serioulsy, some people just be to be beaten to death with the biggest, most nail-studded bat possible,

  7. How short is the video? Can someone give me the highlights?

  8. I was told there would be no math:

  9. Dave, it’s 42 seconds, and for once, it’s worth it.

  10. “Serioulsy, some people just be to be beaten to death with the biggest, most nail-studded bat possible”

    AGREED.

  11. I’ll email it to you PJ.

  12. it’s 42 seconds, and for once, it’s worth it.

    Now that I think about it, that sounds a lot like the last time I had sex.

  13. I’d just rather use my bedazzler.

  14. Now that I think about it, that sounds a lot like the last time I had sex.

    Hey, as long as Dolly doesn’t mind.

    Thank you carin

  15. mare, how did the inspection go?

    Did your enema help seal the deal?

    Why is sealing something shut and the animal seal and that singer all spelled the same way?

  16. Hahahahaha!

    http://tinyurl.com/yeez3z9

    Abandon ice floe!

  17. The inspection went well. We will probably have to switch out our hot water tank because it’s over 10 years old. A couple of minor other things.

    The enema was a HUGE success.

    And I know Seal is married to Heidi Klum but if I was married to him I would be starring at his face wondering, “that looks icky, how can I fix that?”

  18. “that looks icky, how can I fix that?”

    I’d suggest fire, but it looks like she already tried that.

  19. Hi. Anyone up for some vajazzling?
    Serioulsy, some people just be to be beaten to death with the biggest, most nail-studded bat possible,

    Well. color ME embarrassed. Wiser… don’t open that email I sent you, k?

  20. On second thought, just forward it to Rich.

  21. Abandon ice floe!

    hahaha

    stupid global warming and tea partyers

  22. Hi, PJ. I like your new pic in POL.

  23. And I know Seal is married to Heidi Klum but if I was married to him I would be starring at his face wondering, “that looks icky, how can I fix that?

    She prolly just closes her eyes and asks him to sing and then open his wallet.

  24. Serioulsy, some people just be to be beaten to death with the biggest, most nail-studded bat possible

    On one hand, I am sick of the constant vajayjay one-upmanship.

    On the other hand, I think the sparklies actually are kind of cute.

  25. “She prolly just closes her eyes and asks him to sing and then open his wallet.”

    Excellent strategy.

  26. On one hand, I am sick of the constant vajayjay one-upmanship.

    That’s a contest I don’t want to enter.

    I’d rather be in the hot dog eating contest.

  27. I’d rather be in the hot dog eating contest.

    ummmmmmmmmm………………wha?

    I think that’s the naughtiest thing mare has ever said around these parts.

  28. “I think that’s the naughtiest thing mare has ever said around these parts.”

    You, Madam, are no gentleman!

  29. I heard that Wiserbud went to see a urologist this morning, who turned out to be an extremely sexy female. She told him that he had to stop masturbating. Surprised, Wiserbud demanded an explanation.

    “Because,” she said, “I’m trying to examine you.”

  30. *shocked look at mare*

    http://tinyurl.com/yzzppk2

  31. Joke stolen from GrumpyUnk, who stole it from Theo Spark.

  32. I just got an email from my son. Since I feel so loved, I will share.

    ….”So I was just watching paula dean and she chopped up a bunch of bacon and put it on top of a potato casserole. That is all.”…..

  33. *scans blog for comments; reflexively crosses legs reading vajajay bedazzling*

    Hi All.

  34. exactly

    oh you know what? I just realized something.

    I just realized I was in Hawaii last night when I was dreaming. I was with Michael and Cathy and I was thinking about calling you, but I knew you’d be busy with your house stuff and I went on some ride that dipped into the ocean and my cell phone got wet so then I couldn’t call you.

    And Michael was talking about how nice it was to have me as a daughter. Because he didn’t have one.

    Ok, I KNOW he has one ok? I prolly shouldn’t have even admitted that part of my dream

  35. crap, Michael wasn’t here when I started this comment and the “exactly” was for Mare’s comment

  36. So I was just watching paula dean and she chopped up a bunch of bacon and put it on top of a potato casserole. That is all

    That right there is definitely my idea of a love letter.

  37. >> On the other hand, I think the sparklies actually are kind of cute.

    Make up don’t make clowns look friendly.

    It don’t make them things look friendly either.

  38. MSN headlines least likely to make me click through – Part 3:

    Video: Kelly Osbourne talks weight loss

  39. Heh.

  40. Make up don’t make clowns look friendly.

    It don’t make them things look friendly either

    hahahahahaha

  41. Oooh, I like dreams. I dream like crazy and often laugh when I wake up thinking about them. Most I don’t remember, but I am left with a “sense” of them. I’ve only had 1 or 2 bad dreams my whole life. One was about my little brother falling off a cliff and I couldn’t catch /reach him.

  42. Heh.

    shut up

  43. PJM, you are very photogenic.

    In the POL pictures, Mesa looks like MCPO with sun glasses.

  44. And Michael was talking about how nice it was to have me as a daughter. Because he didn’t have one

    For the first time in the History of this Blog, I’m nervous for Michael…..

  45. Are you checking out POL photos right now?

    You saw the new one I snuck in?

  46. For the first time in the History of this Blog, I’m nervous for Michael…..

    Sooooooooooo, who wants rabbit stew?

  47. It just occurred to me the most frightening thing in the universe would be a clown with a vajayjay.

    I bet that’s what Cthulhu looks like, that’s what I bet.

  48. Yes, PJM, however, all your pictures have been good.

  49. Look at the pictures of Mesa and MCPO, it looks like MCPO just put on sunglasses and calls himself Mesa.

  50. I can’t access the vajazzled site right now. I don’t get it.

    Yes, PJM, however, all your pictures have been good.

    You think I’d put the bad ones in?

    I have to take 45,679 bad ones to get one ok one.

  51. Sooooooooooo, who wants rabbit stew?

    *** Puts on Groucho Marks Glasses, Moustache ***

    *** Fades into Woodwork ***

  52. PETA needs to be sued out of existence for this. What a bunch of scumbags. The quotes from the PETArd are incredibly clueless and offensive.

    We’re sure Tiger will appreciate our attempt — from a story that’s distracted the world and followed Tiger — to turn it into something positive for little tigers,” Fort said

    Yeah, I’m totally sure he would appreciate having his image being stolen and his personal problems being ridiculed by you fucking idiots just to make some preciously stupid little point.

    http://tinyurl.com/yhp9kne

  53. “You think I’d put the bad ones in?
    I have to take 45,679 bad ones to get one ok one.”

    No, and it takes me about 50,023 to get a good one of me.

  54. It just occurred to me the most frightening thing in the universe would be a clown with a vajayjay.

    I bet that’s what Cthulhu looks like, that’s what I bet.

    Dave doesn’t get out much, does he?

  55. That is an awesome POL of you PJM!

  56. HAHAHAHAHA! It’s funny though wiserbud

  57. PJM, how’s Garren?

  58. That’s awful sweet of you Cyn.
    It was at Legoland last month. I think you guys just like my boyfriend in the background.

    Mare, you are so right. I’ve never even paid attention to how those two photos look similar. Maybe MCPO and Mesa are the same person.

    Both their names begin with “m”. That seals it for me.

  59. And did I pronounce that right?

  60. Am I the only one to notice that there’s a vacuum cleaner next to xbrad’s bed in his POL pic? Am I?

  61. Gavin is doing just fine!!

    He had a really bad headache the first night, but he’s just fine now. Thank you for asking!!

    Can anyone else access the vajazzled page? Seriously, I can’t get to it now.

  62. And did I pronounce that right?

    hahaha

    ummmmmmmm

    yes, just wrong kid.

    HAHAHAHA

  63. Am I the only one to notice that there’s a vacuum cleaner next to xbrad’s bed in his POL pic? Am I?

    suction

  64. “That seals it for me.’

    hahahahahaha

    Yep, that’s all the proof I need also.

  65. “yes, just wrong kid.”

    hahahahahahahah…..Sorry, how’s Graham? (am I getting closer?)

  66. HAHAHAHAHA!

    Just do what PJD does when he talks to them. Graravin.

  67. Just say “Gravinham” . That should cover it.

  68. So how was your trip to San Diego rich?

    Kinda convenient for you that I was sick so you didn’t have to try to squeeze me in huh?

    you’re welcome

  69. We had a good time. Eventhough we didn’t get to see a killer whale kill a trainer at Sea World. Maybe next time.

  70. If I ever saw a clown with one of those things I would scream like a girl.

  71. Why would you be looking at that part of the clown dave?

    I’d like my local ice cream man to be penazzled.

    It’d go with his pervert looks real nice like.

  72. to check and see if I was gonna get kilt, that’s why.

  73. We had a good time. Eventhough we didn’t get to see a killer whale kill a trainer at Sea World. Maybe next time.

    I feel ripped off too. This should have happened in San Diego.

    Kind of a gnarly way to die I’m guessing. STILL don’t understand why that whale was in use.

  74. Dang! I just realized there were two more hostages with me in Hawaii, but I can’t think of who they were.

    First time I’ve dreamed of the hostages in 3 years.

    I think. Unless, I blocked it out.

  75. Unless, I blocked it out.

    That might be a self-preservation mechanism.

  76. Or the beer.

  77. That might be a self-preservation mechanism.

    I better keep it blocked.

  78. The beer is definitely a factor. I’ll have to keep drinking it then.

    I HATE JOHN MCCAIN!!!!!!

    http://www.jbs.org/health-care-freedom-blog/5957-proposed-dietary-supplement-regulatory-bill

  79. http://bit.ly/6AdUni

  80. A blog post on PETA’s official Web site said the billboard was an effort to take the focus off Woods’ personal life and “turn our attention instead to the animals who are dying as a result of their unrestrained sexual activity.”

    You can die from unrestrained sexual activity? Well thank God for married women then. They’re saving us all from ourselves.

  81. AIIYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

  82. Comment by lauraw on February 25, 2010 3:10 pm

    http://bit.ly/6AdUni

    I’m sooo glad that wasn’t in my dream last night.

    was an effort to take the focus off Woods’ personal life and “turn our attention instead to the animals

    See? Why do they have to be idiots? Why can’t they just say their whores? This in no way takes the attention off Tiger.

  83. My eye is waaay too plentiful in the comment section today.

    WHERE IS EVERYONE?!?!?!

  84. You can die from unrestrained sexual activity?

    *whew..

  85. >> You can die from unrestrained sexual activity?

    Can? I was planning on it.

  86. You gonna live forever wiserbud?

  87. You gonna live forever wiserbud?

    Women sense my power and they seek the life essence.

    I do not avoid women, but I… I do deny them my essence.

  88. Define ‘unrestrained’.

  89. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    ok, that got me.

    Where’s my father Michael? I’m so devastated that he left after I told him my dream.

    POP?!?!? Oh POP?!! Where are you daddy?

  90. that “HAHAHAHA”

    was to wiserbud

    Not that I don’t love you or anything pupster, I do.

  91. Thanks for clarifying PJM.

    I was all aflutter about making you LOL.

  92. HAHAHAHA!

    Ok, that made me LOL

  93. You’re very free and easy with your LOL favors, arncha?

  94. Is this a Health Insurance Care Summit bitch-free zone? If not, let me just say how much I hate that guy with the fancy creased pants. Oh, and that white-haired old guy who’s a senator of my state.

  95. Ok, that made me LOL

    You cheap whore.

  96. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  97. Oh that’s funny pupster is it?

    Really?

    *jots something unintelligible down in notebook

    I’ll remember this..

    Cyn, I hate him too. Did you see what I linked up there about that slime bucket? And to think I voted from him in, um, I think it was 2004.

  98. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    Hey Zeus I need a fucking drink.

  99. PJM,

    My ‘HAHAHAHAHAHAH!’ was for Cyn, not that I don’t want to hump your leg too…I do.

    Really.

  100. Where’s my father Michael?

    PJ, I can assure you with 100% confidence that if you show up in one of my dreams, you will not be anything like a daughter to me.

  101. not that I don’t want to hump your leg too…I do.

    *sniffs

    Ok, I feel better now

  102. Yes WB. Exactly like that.

    *looks at clock again*

  103. PJ, I can assure you with 100% confidence that if you show up in one of my dreams, you will not anything like a daughter to me.

    Oh Michael, I’m sorry. Was I not clear about my dream? I meant sugar daddy.

  104. *looks at clock again*

    This IS the longest day ever.

    *sigh

  105. This is one of those days working from home, being able to watch this theatre on TV, when I wish I didn’t. I’m about six heartbeats away from having a stroke watching this shit. And yet, like a horrible car wreck, I cannot turn away.

    [PJ, my only votes for McLame, of which I admit I have cast, were as a lesser of another evil]

  106. *sigh

    Mine too.

    Is today over yet?

  107. Is today over yet?

    My mom always used to say, “Five more minutes.”

    Would it be too mean to wish for a meteor to strike DC right this second?

  108. LauraW skert me with that picture of Pennywise the clown and now I need chicks to hold me.

    More than one is ok.

  109. YAY!!!

    I get to pick Garren up from school cuz he’s coughing too much.

    I needed something to break up my day.

  110. PJ, wanna make a DiT sammich? HAHAHA!

  111. Ooo, poor Glaraven. I hope he feels better soon!

  112. Lunch from the grill. A nice french dip.

    And they make some awesome fries.

    PJ, when you appear in my dreams, I think of you as the daughter I never had.

    **rents Taboo**

  113. Here ya go, Davey

    http://tinyurl.com/4ymduq

  114. *wraps arms around Dave & snuffles his neck*

    You need to shave back here.

  115. “>> You can die from unrestrained sexual activity?
    Can? I was planning on it.”

    hahahahahahahahaha

    Good ‘ol, creepy old Dave.

  116. >> You need to shave back here.

    Yeah, if I ever go bald this is where I’m getting the transplants.

  117. I put my accent in the wrong place….Damn it.

    ol’

  118. Which one of you guys runs a theater?

    http://tinyurl.com/yd8tany

  119. ol’e!

  120. Old Dave!

  121. Has anyone, in the history of the universe, ever laughed at a clown?

    They sicken me.

  122. I’m thinking the theater guy never intended to send that first email, B-rad. I’ve done that before, sit down and write a big flaming fuckyou email and then delete it before sending the ‘real’ response.

    That being said…Sarah was kind of a fucking bitch in her email. But it didn’t really warrant the “Sarah, Drive to White Bear Lake and also go fuck yourself” response.

  123. I thought the same thing – i.e. write what you really want to say, then delete it and write the syrupy apology letter – whoops.

  124. I personally found the ‘fuck yourself’ response quite refreshing. I wish I could use it in my job! HA!

  125. Maybe you need a new job, Cyn.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxFc1RMbko4

  126. Pups, of course Sarah was a bitch. She was pissed off by the way the theater treated her. She was pissed off enough to write a letter.

    I’m willing to bet that a quick phone call or email explaining the policy why they don’t take cards would go a long way to reducing her pissedoffishness. And apologizing for the interruption of the film, with a couple comp tickets, and you’d probably solve the whole problem. And comp tickets (as opposed to a refund) won’t cost you anything, since you gotta show the movie anyway.

    I used to deal with very pissed off people who’d just lost a family member. It just isn’t that hard to make most of them happy.

    Some people are safetywired in the pissed off position, and those folks? Just tell them politely, “I’m sorry I can’t do anything more to address your concerns” and put it behind you.

  127. remember what Elwood P. Dowd said about being oh so pleasant?

    It’s better than being pissed off all the time.

  128. I’m not defending either one of them Xbrad. I’m just saying…I understand.

    /Chris Rock

    AND ELWOOD CAN GOFUCKHIMSELF TOO!

    I’ll be at the bar.

  129. HAHAHA! Pup-pup-pupster! I ♥ Dick Cheney.

    “Go fuck yourself!”

    I’m playing your YT vid while I’ve got barackie obamamama in a streaming window. Hearing both at the same time just made me pee a little laughing!

  130. Who hasn’t been burned by that “write a big FO email to get it off your chest and send instead of delete” thing before? I have. I’m sure he didn’t mean to send it. Bad day for him, huh?

    I also understand why small businesses recoil at credit and debit cards, Visa MC et.al. charge fees of 3-5% on the transactions, AMEX is higher.

  131. Who hasn’t been burned by that “write a big FO email to get it off your chest and send instead of delete” thing before?

    Always … and I mean ALWAYS leave the address field in that bad boy blank. If you really want to send it, there will be plenty of time to fill it in at the end.

  132. Ha! That video was funny.

  133. I threw a guy out of my office once who was being unreasonable to one of my guys. We were to be doing an addition to his house, which hadn’t started yet, and he was badgering my guy about some costs, repeatedly using the counter that things are cheaper in Toronto where he was from. I could see where this was heading, so I walked in the other office, and said “I’m Geoff P. and I own this company. We’re not doing your project. I’ll refund your deposit immediately, but you can wait out in your car, because I want you the hell out of my office.”

    God, that was one of the best days of my life.

    Had I been the theater manager, I wouldn’t have written the apology.

  134. I’ve never even drafted a “Fuck You” letter.

    I just go out, smoke a cigarette, and kick a Pupster puppy.

  135. I write the hostages a ‘fuck you’ letter at least three times a week

  136. xbrad is such an offensive asshole that even Goatse wrote him a “fuck you” letter.

  137. PJ I’m sending you one now.

  138. Uni, I’m an offensive asshole, granted. But I’ve been remarkably good at getting my money back when I’ve not been satisfied with a product or service.

    On the other hand, like Hotspur, I’ve fired the client once or twice as well.

  139. I have fired multiple clients, unless they owe me money, then I go to war.

  140. I should say though, with this economy I ain’t firing no clients, even if they are slow to pay.

  141. Uni, most of the clients we fired were folks that weren’t really clients, but rather prospects. You pitch them half a dozen times, and they still won’t get off the fence. Sure as shit, they’d call back in 6 months asking for more options. I’d send them a contract filled in the way I thought they should go. Sign it or not. Quit calling.

  142. Wait until you see what these left wing bastards are trying to pull off now while no one’s supposedly watching them. Please contact your Congress person and wring their ass on this one.

    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/With-world-watching-health-summit-Dems-sneak-in-measure-to-punish-CIA-85373667.html

  143. I’m always nice to everyone — it’s just my nature. I could never say something mean.

  144. Thanks dave

  145. Regardless of the economy, there are certain people that I will not work for. Life is too short.

  146. You are welcome!

  147. “I write the hostages a ‘fuck you’ letter at least three times a week”

    hahahahahahahahahaaha

  148. ah.

    I lost 95% of my clients just after Obama started his great health care debate. The clients I have left are golden and are experiencing unprecedented levels of customer service at this time. They have become family.

    I am willing to offer my wife or my right hand to keep them as clients.

  149. If you’ve been in business long enough, you’ve been burned by a client or three that no matter what you do, they will be unhappy. It’s just the way some people are. For myself, in all cases but one, I could look back and see that the telltale signs were there from the start.

    I now listen to my gut, no matter the state of the economy. There are just some jobs that you are money ahead to never build.

  150. Fuck you letter?

    “Q”

    Most worthless fuckin’ letter in the English alphabet. I mean, really, what words, besides queer, would we not be able to spell if we just said, “Fuck you, Q! We don’t need your shit anymore!”

  151. Since you need to pair Q up with another letter, why not eliminate it and just use KW – like: xBrad is a kweer, or Mare is a drama kween?

  152. Who’s writing Michael’s comments today?

  153. Paul Ryan is my hero for today.

  154. Barie Family Community Theater:

    Mom: I want you to take Carol a slice of this pie.

    Me: That’s not gonna work.

    Mom: Why not?

    Me: Two reasons. One, that’s MY pie. Second, Carol’s the one who made the pie. Who gives pie to the person who gave you pie?

    Fin.

  155. Don’t get me started on the letter “U”!

    And “Y”! Vowel or consonant? Make up your fuckin’ mind!

  156. Ha. That was an excellent HCT xbrad.

    Bravo.

  157. I used to deal with very pissed off people who’d just lost a family member.

    If you’d quit killing people, you wouldn’t have that problem b-rad.

  158. Hey, PJ, can’t generate estate settlement fees if no one dies…

  159. Dang! I just realized there were two more hostages with me in Hawaii, but I can’t think of who they were.

    [Let it be me, let it be me]

  160. I’m CERTAIN it was carin.

    We needed someone to bake the bread.

  161. We had a cool operation in Ann Arbor for a while called Brewbaker’s Pub.

    Essentially they brewed beer, but would use the grain mush after the beer was fermented to make bread. So you could go in and drink beer and eat sandwiched made with home-made bread.

    It went out of business because the guy was a crook.

  162. 2nd hostage in dream http://tinyurl.com/yencmu6

  163. Is that a polar bear in a snowstorm scott?

  164. Q is great if you want to say, “Quiet the fuck up”.

  165. Well, I see everyone kwieted the fuck up.

  166. Quiet the fuck up xbrad.

  167. In order to make this thread worth my time, I’m adding this picture:

  168. That was an absolutely WONDERFUL addition mare.

    I have good news, but I only want to share it if you’re still around mare

  169. DAMMIT!

  170. PJM,
    Share, share.

  171. I’m waiting for Mare because some of it is a Catholic thing……….although, there’s Mormon twist to it and since you live in Mormonville, you might………

    nah, I have to wait for mare

    How’s the weather uni?

  172. 2nd hostage in dream http://tinyurl.com/yencmu6

    Awwwww…that is really cute.

  173. Why was I unable to see that photo, but you copy it beasn, I can see it?

    Sooooo cute.

  174. And I don’t care for goats. Maybe if they all had long ears that curl, and a smile on their faces, I’d feel differently.

  175. Haven’t seen Jewstin lately. Wonder how he’s doin’?

  176. I wonder if Sun Tzu ever met General Tso?

  177. Maybe if I sit here long enough, Mr. Beasn will cook dinner.

    I put some salmon out to thaw.

    *scratches hiney*

  178. I don’t know Dave, but if I was General, scorched earth and take names later would be my kind of thing.

  179. Not only scorched earth, but sweet, sour and spicy.

    mmmmmmmmmm

  180. Maybe if I sit here long enough, Mr. Beasn will cook dinner.

    I can’t do that because I’d get in trouble for being at the hostages all day.

    You work, you can get away with it.

  181. Jeebus, Hotspur.

    Starting your comment with a compliment like that is completely out of order for a Hostage and fellow moron. Next tilme you comment at my place, you start with an insult toward me, and not one of those wussy ones either. It better hurt. It better bring tears to my eyes because it stung and is going to leave a mark…kind of like you did to Hippieprof, who hasn’t seemed to figure out that not every black person in our country is an “African-American”.

  182. Wut? Hotspur made hippy, cry, and I missed it?

  183. Awww…shit. Mr. Beasn just hollered up here…wants to know why I want to make fish tonight when tonight is Thursday.

    All day long, I keep forgetting it’s not Friday. *sigh* That’s what happens when the mess up my sorta regular schedule.

  184. I thought you weren’t a practicing Catholic porky?

  185. Just went to your place BiW. Hippy is in suspended adolescence. Probably due to pot.

  186. I kind of am PJM. I just don’t attend church. I don’t want to have to sit there and listen to the hippy priest. One shouldn’t be pissed off in church from the church.

  187. So that’s what everyone is talking about when they say “hippy”. Is that his name on BiW?

  188. I don’t want to have to sit there and listen to the hippy priest. One shouldn’t be pissed off in church from the church.

    I agree 100%.

  189. Nah…the hippy is some stoopid lefty over at BiW. He goes by ‘hippieprog’ like he’s so smart when he has his head firmly lodged up his ass. He’s arrogant, condescending, and never answers a question.

  190. oops…’hippieprof’

  191. I like hippieprog better

  192. MSN headlines least likely to make me click through – Part 4:

    Witherspoon, agent caught on second date

  193. hi wiserbud.

  194. Does he know he was bumped from your dream by a smiling goat?

  195. What can I say?

    The goat smiles more than wiserbud.

  196. hi, pjm.

  197. Evenin’ bastages.

  198. I’m done with winter, I think. I’m packing up the car and driving southwest until I haven’t seen snow for a full hour.

  199. Does he know he was bumped from your dream by a smiling goat?

    thank you, smiling goat.

  200. Wait, I just realized that means I might end up in Me-hee-coh. This plan needs more plan in it.

  201. Hey, PJM, I’m back!

    What’s up?

  202. PJM,
    It puked snow last night and this morning. I loved it. It is supposed to snow again this weekend. Taking the kids up on Saturday to ski some powder, I am looking forward to it.

    Hippy priests piss me off.

    Also, Catholic Priests who are advocates for illegal immigrants also piss me off, same with Mormon church leaders.

    Makes me want to revoke their tax exemption.

    I guess you aren’t going to share your catholic/mormon story.

    Leftover spaghetti tonight.

    You all have a great evening.

    Worked my ass off today with some positive results. It’s interesting how it takes a serious downturn to bring about good old fashioned work ethic in me. I guess I need to remember that when things are good again. I love the way it makes me feel to be just flat out fucking exhausted with some nice results.

    Y’all have a great evening.

  203. “thank you, smiling goat”

    That’s headstone material.

  204. Man I loves me some cheap Chinese junk food.

    I’m like a walking chemistry experiment right now.

  205. No snow here Leon,
    But it a little chilly for us
    http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/subindex/weather

  206. I love Panda Express. You know the place where they serve panda over rice or noodles, your choice.

  207. Good evening, hawt chicks and cretins!

  208. So, my mom gave my cousin notice and she’s got till August to move out….however, she asked my mom yesterday it would be ok if she moved out earlier if she found some place.

    My mom said that was fine.

    However, my cousin (who converted to LDS because her hubby is) has her brother-in-law and his wife living in the studio part (they’re also strict LDS). Which was the garage long ago, but was my parents room growing up, but has since been converted to a studio, but will be me and PJD’s room. I like reeeeeeeally long sentences.

    Anyhoo, my mom didn’t want my cousin to feel obligated to stay there so she told her that the BIL could stay there till August if need be.

    This means, we’ll move into the 3 bedroom part of the house.

    PJD and I figure we could get them to move out earlier by putting statues of the Virgin Mary all over the front yard and some crucifixes here and there.

    fin

    although it’s nice not paying rent, the commute sucks

  209. The PJ Family = A Band of Gypsies

  210. “PJD and I figure we could get them to move out earlier by putting statues of the Virgin Mary all over the front yard and some crucifixes here and there.”

    I always like your strategies. Walk around with a lit candle praying the Rosary. Also, get a cat-o-nine-tails and whip your bare back and while the blood is running down your legs tell them it’s for repentance and getting closer to God. That will get them right out of there.

    Too much?

    Also, PJM, from now on we need a diagram to accompany your living conditions.

  211. MCPO, how soon should I expect the association to clear this snow?

  212. Where has Sohos been? Anyone? I know she was interviewing, did she get the job?

  213. Vmax, 58 F would feel great about now. Just not having to spend 5 minutes gearing up and down when I enter and leave the house would be nice.

  214. Hi, MCPO. How goes it in Sunny Florida?

  215. Hey hey, kids! Anybody say anything stupid today?

  216. Sorry, that was me looking at tomorrow afternoon. 46 wouldn’t be bad either.

  217. The PJ Family = A Band of Gypsies

    Also, PJM, from now on we need a diagram to accompany your living conditions.

    hahaha, you guys sound like ………well everyone I know.

  218. hahaha, you guys sound like ………well everyone I know.

    Wherever you go, there you are.

  219. Hey hey, kids! Anybody say anything stupid today?

    Absolutely not!

  220. Anybody say anything stupid today?

    I’m certain that I did.

    Certain.

  221. HAHAHA! Mare! :)

  222. hahahahahahaha…..Cyn is too honest.

  223. Is there a game where you have to drink after you say something stupid? I think in my life I would like to play that game once.

  224. Let’s play…

    “I ♥ Obama”

    DRINK!!!

  225. Rosetta DOES look good in a tutu!

    DRINK!!

  226. mare, your ideas made LOL!!!

    *scribbles furiously in notebook

  227. Scott – When it stop snowing!

    Mare – MWAH!!!

  228. Sohos mentioned a second interview.

    Also I only make note of when I say smart things. Stupid happens way too often to keep up with.

  229. *gently slids shot glass over Dave’s way so I don’t hafta drink alone*

  230. Cyn, I think I’d have to be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning.

  231. It was snowing heavily, I worked from home, no boss hovering around nagging me,so a lot of work got done, wife pampered me with coffee and munchies, the weather made the kids sleepy, so they didn’t eat me alive….. I love snow-day.

  232. *picks it up, downs it, has coughing fit*

    smoooooooth

  233. Stupid happens way too often to keep up with.

    Amen, brother.

  234. Did anybody watch Growing Pains growing up? I did not. But it seems that the missing guy Andrew was found dead today in some park. What was the show’s attraction?

  235. I think it would be much kwicker to ask if anyone said anything smart today. Just sayin.

  236. Youngest is home from school for the weekend. Yay me! I missed that kid.

  237. So, did anything interesting happen today?

  238. the weather made the kids sleepy

    What on earth do they put in that weather where you live?

  239. I think it would be much kwicker to ask if anyone said anything smart today.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8E_zMLCRNg

  240. New Slogan:

    HOSTAGES: STUCK ON STUPID!

  241. But it seems that the missing guy Andrew was found dead today in some park

    Prayers for his family. A father mourning his son is always a tragedy.

  242. “What on earth do they put in that weather where you live?”
    hahahahahahaha

    PJM wants some of that, stat!

  243. So, did anything interesting happen today?

    I had a loose stool. I named it BO and flushed it.

  244. any news on your job prospect, Vmax?

  245. I had a loose stool. I named it BO and flushed it.

    Scintillating!

  246. RIP, Boner.

  247. “RIP, Boner.”

    I’m sorry, Sean, but I thought they had drugs for that.

  248. Who needs a vacation? I’ve got just the place:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saEfJnLiFD8

  249. Well MCPO, there was a day long meeting in DC. Like all of my day long meetings in DC, nothing was accomplished, but everyone got some face time and a free lunch.

  250. Cyn – Having been in a few bunkers today, I can relate to that resort.

  251. PJM,

    North East is a depressing place in winter, unless you are into winter sports.

  252. Better sandy than sticky.

  253. Are you wanting us to ask you if you did something interesting today MCPO?

    Ok, I’ll bite.

    MCPO, did you do anything interesting today?

  254. Leon – Did OhBambi tell everyone that he won the last election and he was the smartest motherphucker in the room? Did he also say we have to do this , “. . . for the children” (or the old folks)? If so, it was a re-run.

  255. Did OhBambi tell everyone that he won the last election

    He pretty much said that to McCain

  256. It was mostly a rerun, but his statements soared to new depths of arrogance today.

  257. PJM – I thought about you, and only you, the entire day.

  258. I’m sorry, Sean, but I thought they had drugs for that.

    http://tinyurl.com/25mmc

  259. So you had a pretty damn good day then huh MCPO?

    or wait………am I in trouble?

    Do I owe you money?

  260. It was mostly a rerun, but his statements soared to new depths of arrogance today.

    Word.

    I was spitting nails all afternoon.

  261. Hello everybody. You all look mahhhhhvelous tonight!

  262. Paul Ryan totally kicked his ass all the way up and down Pennsylvania Ave.

  263. Do I owe you money?

    No darling. You don’t owe me money.

  264. I was spitting nails all afternoon.

    They put weird things in the watermelon where you live.

  265. Paul Ryan totally kicked his ass all the way up and down Pennsylvania Ave.

    Damned straight! “Devastating” is the word that comes to mind.

  266. HCT Pt. II

    Setting: Mom watching one of those Cold Case Detective documetaries on Discovery

    Mom: I’m going to change my will so you kids won’t kill me for my money.

    Me: Trust me, Mom, when I kill you, it won’t be for your money.

  267. Paul Ryan totally kicked his ass all the way up and down Pennsylvania Ave.

    You betcha hey der! He almost made the Community Organizer in Chief cry!

  268. “Me: Trust me, Mom, when I kill you, it won’t be for your money.”

    HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

    I felt the love right through the interwebs.

  269. I heard thru Rush on the radio that Cantor got in a good bit of jousting teH One as well. I almost wish that he would do this televised shit more often. *picks more popcorn out of teeth*

  270. So, did anything interesting happen today?
    What here? I think PJM was funneh this afternoon

  271. Me: Trust me, Mom, when I kill you, it won’t be for your money.

    HAHAHAHA….did you really say that to her and did she laugh or squint at you?

  272. Damned straight! “Devastating” is the word that comes to mind.

    And all Teh Won could do was sit there and glare at him for what must have been six of the most excruciating minutes of his presidency so far.

  273. I said it. She gave me the stinkeye for a bit.

  274. My poor Missus is wound tighter than a 3 dollar watch trying to deal with her Mom during this move. How do you convince a 77 y/o woman she no longer needs three sewing machines (she hasn’t sewn a lick in 10 years)??

  275. MCPO, you don’t convince her. You get rid of two, and not tell her.

  276. My plan worked. Mr. Beasn made dinner. Told him that it was so wonderful and how great it was that he used fewer pots/pans than I do, that he should do it every day.

  277. Hey hey, kids! Anybody say anything stupid today?

    Pick any comment at random, and you will have your answer.

  278. No one had, Michael, but you showed up and that changed.

  279. Michael is the biggest wanker in Gotham City.

  280. I can tell you this, none of the cool kids dressed like Batman.

  281. Like that one right there..

  282. The media consensus spin is that Obama looked cool and Presidential, and tried to reach Republicans. His Democratic colleagues looked lost and goofy. The Republicans came with their A-game so they’re going to declare it a tie, and say that advantage goes to the Reps.

    That they’ll even concede the R’s were more convincing is enough to let you know they kicked ass today. Reid and Pelosi were awful, Biden was Biden, and Obama was testy, evasive, irritable. He needed to make the Rep’s look like the party of no, the party of no ideas, and therefore give them cover to push it through with reconciliation. He didn’t even come close.

    Not that they won’t try reconciliation anyway, but they got pwned today.

  283. I didn’t know you were moving her mom.

    Does she live in Florida?

  284. An old person moving out of Florida? Does that happen?

  285. Land of the newly wed and the nearly dead Leon

  286. We are moving her Mom from her own place into a graduated care facility. . . still in Florida. L-o-o-o-n-g story.

  287. Oops Sorry MCPO!

  288. GL with that MCPO. I don’t look forward to dealing with that. However, if Mom passes first, my dad would probably move himself right into whichever place he likes the cafeteria best.

  289. Doc – I’m with your dad!

  290. To be fair, PJ was kinda interesting today when she admitted that she dreams about me as her white hot stud muffin father.

  291. Evenin’, hosefuckers. I miss anything fascinating today?

  292. Yes, Sky. PJ dreams about me.

  293. That is fascinating, Batman.

  294. Hi Sky!!!!!

    *waves like Forrest Gump*

  295. Hi Chief! SHOE-PANTS!!! Heh.

  296. I can’t really call it a dream. It was more of a fantasy.

  297. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuhfMWjHCkM

    Heh.

  298. You missed me lurking and not commenting all day Sky

  299. That is fascinating, Batman.

    Indeed.

    Now, I don’t want to embarrass her for admitting in front of everyone (when she did not know I was lurking) that I play a central role in her subconscious fantasy life. Oh no, I would not do that.

    I’m just saying it was an interesting revelation.

  300. L-o-o-o-n-g story.

    Well I don’t know about anyone else, but I sure have the time.

  301. Nancy Drew is in big trouble!

  302. Michael was reading psychology books all day.

  303. thefuck happened to my comment?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuhfMWjHCkM

  304. oh. maybe I didn’t actually make one.

  305. Dave – The blog has achieved self-awareness. . . and it hates you.

  306. Dave – The blog has achieved self-awareness. . . and it hates you

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkyUMmNl4hk

  307. Michael was reading psychology books all day.

    That’s true. Went straight to Freud’s The Interpretation of Dreams.

    Bottom line — you want me real bad.

    Poor girl. *pats PJ on head* My heart belongs to Sky. Her legs, anyway.

  308. HostageNet became SelfAware 21:54 25 Feb 2010.

  309. “Poor girl. *pats PJ on head* My heart belongs to Sky. Her legs, anyway.”

    Mwahahahahaha. I don’t know why that brought out my evil laughter.

  310. HostageNet became SelfAware 21:54 25 Feb 2010.

    I have long feared that the first hyperhuman AI would have the personality of deranged adolescent.

  311. Notice that when MCPO is here Mesa isn’t……..(as per our earlier conversation).

  312. Sky,
    Just be thankful that you’re not Sarah Conner.
    And happy up-coming birfday!

  313. HostageNet became SelfAware 21:54 25 Feb 2010.

    At 21:55 25 Feb 2010, Hostagenet tried to nuke itself.

  314. >> Dave – The blog has achieved self-awareness. . . and it hates you

    If it can happen to this blog, it can happen for me.

  315. Poor girl. *pats PJ on head* My heart belongs to Sky. Her legs, anyway.

    You haven’t even seen my legs.

    My MOTHER says they’re cute!

  316. “And happy up-coming birfday!”

    Fank you very much, Chrispy.

  317. Mare – Whut?!?

  318. (as per our earlier conversation).

    *nods knowingly

    uh huh

  319. My MOTHER says they’re cute!

    And my mother says I’d be quiet a catch. Point is, mothers lie a lot.

  320. In the POL page, Mesa looks like you with sun glasses.

  321. “If it can happen to this blog, it can happen for me.”

    hahahahahahahahaha

    Dave, I’m giving you a Nobel today because you have made me laugh several times today.

  322. Point is, mothers lie a lot.

    Mommy?

  323. “as per our earlier conversation).
    *nods knowingly
    uh huh”

    Shoot, I should have kept him wondering.

  324. I have always felt this tremendous obligation to share my gift of mirth with the world.

    Even when the world pretty much said “meh”.

  325. My mother thought I looked cute in Batman jammies.

  326. Did our boy (RACIST!!!!) speak with or without a teleprompter today? I didn’t have time to watch any of it, and probably wouldn’t have the stomach for it anyway. Seems to me like the format would’ve called for a bit of sponaneity. Which isn’t his strong suit.

  327. I’m biased on the beauty of a woman’s legs. The prettiest ones are the ones I can get between, the others are a close 2nd at best.

  328. Bwahahahahahaha:

    I think that’s Cyn.

  329. Dave, I like your acceptance speech.

    (now we split the million….right?)

  330. Sky, why does that URL say “poorlydressed”?

  331. Sky,
    Are you the youngest hostage? I only ask, as some of us(me and ‘The Chief’ )are gettin’ down there. Some of the Hostage wimmen are grammaws, or, in other words; we’re a generation ahead of you. Just curious. Count, Mesa, and Sohos, excepted. Maybe you folks will be “Hostages, The New Generation”.
    It could be a sucky new TV series! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

  332. I’ve never thought about it before, Chrispy, but I might actually be the youngest Hostage.

  333. I think she is. I don’t think I’m the youngest hostage anymore.

    I feel so growed up now.

  334. >> (now we split the million….right?)

    60/40 but I’ll throw in a foot massage.

  335. How old will you be on your birthday?

  336. It could be a sucky new TV series! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

    We could all watch marathons of it on Lifetime while we’re waiting in the waiting rooms under Obamacare!!!11!!

  337. Count, Mesa, and Sohos,

    whatever

  338. ChrisP – PJM is only 27!!!! You are so in trouble.

  339. “We could all watch marathons of it on Lifetime while we’re waiting in the waiting rooms under Obamacare!!!11!!”

    Oooh, and, as the youngest Hostage, I can be paying two to three times the premiums for those rooms.

    Fuckin’ goody.

  340. “ChrisP – PJM is only 27!!!! You are so in trouble.”

    I’m technically not 27 yet.

  341. Tis either Sky or Tats.

  342. PJ,
    I ‘think’ I’m senior, as I was born in ’48, but Rosie and MCPO are chasing me, B-rad, and BiW are a generation back, with Hotspur.

  343. Oooh, and, as the youngest Hostage, I can be paying two to three times the premiums for those rooms.

    Fuckin’ goody.

    Barack Hussein Obama finds your lack of faith in his knowing what is best for you disturbing.

  344. ChrisP – PJM is only 27!!!!

    Then how the hell does she have nine kids? She must have started at 13.

  345. I’m technically not 27 yet.

    Define technically. . .

  346. You are so in trouble.

    Soooo, soo dead. Thanks MCPO, at least you pretend to care.

    I’m technically not 27 yet.

    I’ll be 37 in April. I’m younger than Count, Sohos AND mesa, thank you chrisp

  347. “Barack Hussein Obama finds your lack of faith in his knowing what is best for you disturbing.”

    Only ’cause his teleprompter told him to think that.

  348. She must have started at 13.

    as every good Catholic girl should

  349. I have always felt this tremendous obligation to share my gift of mirth with the world.

    It’s true. The man is willing to do whatever it takes to get a laugh. Including potentially drowning in 2 feet of water.

  350. if she says “24” I’m going to insist she call me “dad”.

  351. PJ,
    I ‘think’ I’m senior, as I was born in ‘48, but Rosie and MCPO are chasing me, B-rad, and BiW are a generation back, with Hotspur.

    Wiser’s got you all beat. He dates back to that whole “being cast down from Heaven” thing. A misunderstanding actually. He swears.

  352. >> potentially drowning in 2 feet of water

    I always like to keep my audience riveted!

    /cleavonlittlemayherestinpeace

  353. “Define technically. . .”

    I was going to get all snarky and get the actual definition of technically, but then I got lazy. I mean that, while I’m nearly 27, I won’t be 27 until Wednesday, when I celebrate my 3rd annual 25th birthday.

  354. PJ,
    I’m Sorry! I swear I did not know that you were a child. No offense meant! Holy crap!
    I thought you were a grown-up. Mea Culpa!
    OKAY, I’ll have to stop posting now. I’ll continue to drink, but not comment. Crap, stepped on my dick again…

  355. I’ll be 37 in April. I’m younger than Count, Sohos AND mesa, thank you chrisp

    And me, toots. But we could have dated in high school, and then you too could have reason to cross yourself in gratitiude for having gotten away when ever anyone utters my name.

    I’ll be 39 in December.

  356. I’ll be 37 in April.

    Hey, that’s about the right age for a trophy wife for me.

    *goes to check out POL picture again*

  357. He dates back to that whole “being cast down from Heaven” thing

    Ah, the good old days.

  358. she’s a very mature 37 IYKWIMAITYD

  359. Crap, stepped on my dick again…

    hahahahaha

    Always gotta find a way to brag don’t you?

  360. *goes to check out POL picture again*

    Apparently I look old in that picture. Don’t bother.

  361. PJ, what day in April? My eldest progeny is the 14th.

  362. I would have been too immature for you BiW.

    she’s a very mature 37 IYKWIMAITYD

    Dave knows.

  363. /cleavonlittlemayherestinpeace

    Dayum, is he daid?

  364. PJ, what day in April? My eldest progeny is the 14th.

    25

    She’s older. ;)

  365. PJ’s birthday is April 25th. *cheated by using the FaceChimp*

  366. Hey, that’s about the right age for a trophy wife for me.

    *wonders if he can take out the life insurance policy on Bats before Cathy sees the comment…*

  367. Biw,
    You mean it was him with that; “You can eat from the fruit of this tree and know what GOD knows” shtick? Wearing the snake outfit? I thought that would be beyond even Wiserbud.
    Who knew?

  368. “60/40 but I’ll throw in a foot massage.”

    Deal.

  369. >> Dayum, is he daid?

    As daid as Julius Caesar. Couple of years now.

    I have socks older than PJM. She smells better than all of them. I think. Ok I haven’t actually smelled her but I WILL BY THUNDARR.

    *smell my finger

  370. I would have been too immature for you BiW.

    HA! *in best Harry Connick Jr. voice*

    “Babee…you didn’t know me when…”

  371. Chris, Rosetta is only 40. I am one of the older ones at 49.

  372. ChrisP – I think Brewfan has you beat. . . in the age department.

  373. >> Deal.

    Check it out ladies. Dave gives $100,000 foot massages.

    Call for appts.

  374. Wiser, how old are you?

  375. THUNDARR

    Leave it to DiT to use the cool Jack Kirby reference.

  376. Gosh, I feel like such a baby all of a sudden.

  377. I thought that would be beyond even Wiserbud.

    It’s like you don’t know me at all…..

  378. Wiser, how old are you?

    I’ve been told I could pass for 39…….

  379. ChrisP – I think Brewfan has you beat. . . in the age department.

    Awwww, give Brew a break, Chief. At least he likes to play with dicks he could step on.

  380. “I’ve been told I could pass for 39…….”

    39 what?

  381. MCPO,
    Anybody older than me is DEAD! Or wishes they were. Are you still down south? Hope so. Your home turf is getting it’s butt kicked!

  382. >> I’ve been told I could pass for 39…….

    by his mom.

  383. She smells better than all of them.

    Before or after you fell into LI Sound?

  384. I have socks older than PJM. She smells better than all of them

    no.

  385. ChrisP – Yup. 2 more weeks down here.

  386. Wiser, how old are you?

    I’ve been told I could pass for 39…….

    Of course, that was a lush with cataracts in both eyes who was bordering on passing out from her alcohol consumption.

  387. I’m 25, but I don’t think I count

  388. >> Before or after you fell into LI Sound?

    I left those socks on your car’s A/C evaporator to dry out.

    They done?

  389. by his mom.

    HEY! So maybe her eyesight isn’t what it used to be! She loves me like a son. in-law.

    Actually, Mare, we are the same age.,

  390. Elliot, of course you count!

  391. Elliot is officially the youngest hostage.

    And yes you count. You’ve been around since the old blog.

  392. I’m 25, but I don’t think I count

    If you know that two and two is four, you count better than Barack Hussein Obama.

  393. Mare:

  394. Apparently I look old in that picture. Don’t bother.

    Nope, you look mighty darn good. Wouldn’t hurt to show a little cleavage, though.

  395. But I was gone (lurking) for like a year until I had enough time to keep up with the comments every once in a while.

  396. Sky!!! That’s an awesome picture.

    (please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead….)

  397. They done?

    Is that what that smell is?

    *whew.

    I thought it was the dead hooker I left in the trunk.

  398. See I woulda guessed young 40s for WB.

    I kinda suck at this. It’s like guessing Mare’s age, if I didn’t know I’d be lost. Her beauty would make me guess low 30s, her grace would make me lean mid 40s.

    I just don’t do that well.

  399. Isn’t TBOM like 23? I swear we’ve had the conversation before

  400. Hostsnausageg,
    Sorry to have derailed this thread into ‘whose older?” I really did not mean to do that. I was just teasing Sky about her birthday, as I gave her some crap on FaceChimp last night and she gave it right back. She’s a good sport, and took no offense, as she is kind to old drunken men. I’m grateful.
    Brewfan is old? Seriously? How old?
    Gonna go burn one and drink.

  401. ANOTHER NOBEL FOR DAVE….STAT!

  402. See I woulda guessed young 40s for WB.

    See?

    Marrying my trophy bride first seems to have kept me young.

  403. “Sky!!! That’s an awesome picture.

    (please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead….)”

  404. Nope, you look mighty darn good.

    very sweet

    Wouldn’t hurt to show a little cleavage, though.

    no.
    showing my cleavage the first time was a mistake.
    You can have that one again.

  405. Oh, and when I say “I don’t do that well”, I mean “I do that fucking awesomely”.

  406. But I was gone (lurking) for like a year until I had enough time to keep up with the comments every once in a while.

    Dude, this is family. You aren’t really out unless we say you’re out.

    Just ask WP, Forged, or Folly.

    Oh wait…

  407. “I was just teasing Sky about her birthday, as I gave her some crap on FaceChimp last night and she gave it right back. She’s a good sport, and took no offense, as she is kind to old drunken men. I’m grateful.”

    As I recall, Chrispy told me he thought I looked great for 75. I took his Val-U-Rite away.

  408. Mare:

    http://bestlolcat.untitled1.us/images/258.jpg

    HAHAHAHA!

    Gonna go burn one and drink.

    MOM!!! CHRISP IS SMOKING WEED AGAIN!!!!!!!!

    and not sharing

  409. I don’t normally do this, and I hate to be a downer, but could I ask for some prayers and good wishes for my 98-year-old Grandpa? He’s in the hospital in Urbana, IL with pneumonia.

  410. showing my cleavage the first time was a mistake.
    You can have that one again.

    I’m sorry. I was distracted by that sexay sexay breadmaker in the background.

  411. “http://bestlolcat.untitled1.us/images/1824.jpg”

    If I saw that in real life, I would die from the cuteness.

  412. Dude, this is family. You aren’t really out unless we say you’re out.

    Is someone gay?

  413. Done, Sean.

  414. Just ask WP, Forged, or Folly.

    I remember WP, and I do miss his jolly self (not so much the times when he gets drunk and depressed). I did not know Forged and Folly were gone.

  415. Sean, lots of good vibes going your grandfather’s way from me. And a few for you, too, ’cause family needs good vibes, too.

  416. Is someone gay?

    Jewstin. And possibly Batman. Or maybe he just likes boys too.

  417. Sean – Certainly!

  418. but could I ask for some prayers and good wishes

    Not so much on the whole “praying” thing, but good thoughts being sent,.

  419. I saw forged the other night.

    He said hi, but I didn’t see it till too late. I felt bad.

  420. Of course, Sean.

    98…….wow….he’s got to be pretty tough.

  421. No one cares, but I’m still 34.

  422. Prayers AND good wished for your grandpa.

    I’ll force the kids to pray for him tonight.

  423. And possibly Batman.

    His picture is the Michael Keaton batman, it’s hard to not read into that

  424. awwwwwww, leon.

    I care.

    You’re younger than me

    sumbitch

  425. “If I saw that in real life, I would die from the cuteness.”

    Someone was able to not die from cuteness long enough to take a picture of it. I assume the camera was found near his dead body.

  426. Sean, message received. ACK.

  427. Isn’t Clintbird like 3 days older than dirt?

  428. Did Jewstin show up yesterday? I wanted his opinion on HHD. He knows his hunks.

  429. showing my cleavage the first time was a mistake.
    You can have that one again.

    *rummages in garage looking for snorkel*

  430. Wiser, you look younger than me. What are the ages of your children….if you don’t mind, if so, it’s cool.

  431. Here’s an interesting question: Just how much a fucking whore bitch cunt bitch piece fo fucking shit whorebag cunt scumsucking lowlife bitch whore do you have to be to steal $100k from a start-up company while working there as the bookkeeper and constanly bitching about how we may not make the payroll this month?

    Hypothetically, of course.

  432. “Just how much a fucking whore bitch cunt bitch piece fo fucking shit whorebag cunt scumsucking lowlife bitch whore to steal $100k from a start-up company while working there as the bookkeeper and constanly bitching about how we may not make the payroll this month?”

    A … big one?

  433. Did Jewstin show up yesterday? I wanted his opinion on HHD. He knows his hunks.

    Yeah, what’s up with that? Where did Jewstin say he was going? Do I have to search the comments to find out?

  434. On a scale of 1-10 she’s about a 9.

  435. You’re younger than me

    If it helps, my wife is 27. It’s a good thing I didn’t meet her when I was 16 and she was 10.

    That would have been awkward.

  436. Here’s an interesting question: Just how much a fucking whore bitch cunt bitch piece fo fucking shit whorebag cunt scumsucking lowlife bitch whore do you have to be to steal $100k from a start-up company while working there as the bookkeeper and constanly bitching about how we may not make the payroll this month?

    I’m not sure that made sense gramatically, but the rage is flowing through nicely.

  437. Thanks, everyone. It means a lot.

  438. >> Just how much a fucking whore bitch cunt bitch piece fo fucking shit whorebag cunt scumsucking lowlife bitch whore do you have to be to steal $100k from a start-up company while working there as the bookkeeper and constanly bitching about how we may not make the payroll this month?

    What did your mom do now?

  439. What are the ages of your children…

    15 and 12.

    And you are smoking hot, by the way. Great smile.

  440. “and not sharing”
    hahahahahahahaha

    PJM made me laugh a lot today too.

  441. Here’s an interesting question: Just how much a fucking whore bitch cunt bitch piece fo fucking shit whorebag cunt scumsucking lowlife bitch whore do you have to be to steal $100k from a start-up company while working there as the bookkeeper and constanly bitching about how we may not make the payroll this month?

    Dang! Is this what I missed when we were chatting today?

    Thanks Garren, thanks for getting sick and making me pick you up from school so I had to miss this!!

    sheesh
    So, so lucky I love him and think he’s fun as heck.

  442. “If it helps, my wife is 27. It’s a good thing I didn’t meet her when I was 16 and she was 10.

    That would have been awkward.”

    Mr. Ember is 37. We met when I was 17 and he was 26. To his credit, we didn’t hook up until I turned 21.

  443. Sean’
    Prayers from me & the missus.

  444. Dang! Is this what I missed when we were chatting today?

    Bad day at work. really, really, really bad day.

  445. Forged and Folly aren’t out, they’re just pretty much not here.

  446. If it helps, my wife is 27. It’s a good thing I didn’t meet her when I was 16 and she was 10.

    Yeah. Its just not cool when you pick her up for the date and her Dad says to have her home by 8, and then you help her into the back of the car because she isn’t old enough to ride in front. Those two things can really cramp your style at the Drive-In.

  447. “And you are smoking hot, by the way. Great smile.”

    One thing I really like about the guys here….they are sweet.

  448. >> To his credit, we didn’t hook up until I turned 21.

    You mean dating, right?

    Ok, no need to splain.

  449. Folly aren’t out, they’re just pretty much not here.

    ???

    *check to see if I’m at the Hostages*

  450. PJM made me laugh a lot today too.

    That makes my day!

  451. Yes, dating.

    And, O/T, but this made me laugh:

  452. Mr. Ember is 37. We met when I was 17 and he was 26. To his credit, we didn’t hook up until I turned 21.

    Good friend of mine met his wife when she was 17 and he was 26. Not quite so much to his credit, he started dating her at that age. Married her 3 years later, at least.

  453. PJM, Go ahead. Make my day. Punk.

  454. “Forged and Folly aren’t out, they’re just pretty much not here.”

    Do you still contact them via email, xbrad? (There was no double meaning there, I’m just curious.)

  455. her Dad says to have her home by 8,

    What really sucks is when you have to ask her parents to borrow the car seat…

    AWWWWWWKward……

  456. Wiser,
    Are you really ‘The Snake” in the garden of eden as BiW says? If so, I’m really impressed to meet one of the fallen angles!

  457. *check to see if I’m at the Hostages*

    Only one person has the honor of being officially and technically “unwelcome.” Everyone else is free to come or go as they please.

  458. True, Folly and Forged are the one’s that said THEY would never come back. No one told them to go.

  459. So wiserbud. can you hypothetically tell us anymore?

  460. Are you really ‘The Snake” in the garden of eden as BiW says?

    There are many, many people who will swear to that. That list got started long before the Hostages even existed.

  461. shit. I hate getting calls my my IT manager at 10 on Thursday evening. It’s never “HI, just wanted to say HI”.

  462. k, me and PJD are gonna try and watch a movie again. This time, since it’s only 7:57 local time, I’ll give him till at least 8:45 till he passes out in the middle of it.

    He says he’s feelilng frisky tonight, so I’ll be generous and give him 8:50.

    be back in an hour

  463. Bedtime, must get good sleep to prepare for a long, long Friday.

  464. Hypothetically, of course.

    Happens all the time with start-ups. Everyone is excited, they’re all buddies, and nobody pays attention to internal controls and accounting rules. Companies like that are open season for a bookkeeper with a spending problem.

    Sadly, it also happens more than you would want to believe in churches. Basic internal controls are just ignored.

  465. There are many, many people who will swear to that. That list got started long before the Hostages even existed.

    True, but going to God and asking him for permission to fuck with Job in retaliation was a pretty shitty thing to do, Wiser.

  466. Wiser is a sweetheart, ChrisP, really.

    He just won’t take any guff from anyone.

    *That tells you how old I am, using the term “guff.”

  467. Dave – I call the IT guys at my Missus’ workplace, The Department of Business Prevention”.

  468. Shouldn’t answer that call, if they ask later on just claim you were in a bunker due to fear of the nuclear apocalypse you kept hearing about in the PSA’s from 50 years ago

  469. No. I never emailed Forged. I emailed Folly the first time she left. I commented at her blog a few times after she left the second time. She’s one bitter chick.

  470. primary firewall out. faaaaaaaaack.

  471. Goodnight, PJM and Leon.

  472. So wiserbud. can you hypothetically tell us anymore?

    Not yet, expect that, thanks to the fact that the fuckin idiots I work for the theoretical company is run by didn’t think to do a background check, they were totally stunned to learn that this is not the first time she has done this.

  473. I had to call my IT department and prove my complete idiocy last night. The call went something like this:

    “IT, this is Jackass.”
    “Hi, Jackass, I’m trying to plug in the inventory kit, and the ports on this store’s computer aren’t color-coded. Normally, I plug the scanners into the blue port. There’s no blue port. Where does it go?”
    “…”
    “Jackass? Jackass?”
    “…seriously?”

    Fin.

  474. Here’s an interesting question: Just how much a fucking whore bitch cunt bitch piece fo fucking shit whorebag cunt scumsucking lowlife bitch whore do you have to be to steal $100k from a start-up company while working there as the bookkeeper and constanly bitching about how we may not make the payroll this month?

    Wiser, sounds like life may be fixin’ to suck a lot worse for you. Might be time to start making a plan B.

    When we first moved to the town we currently live in, my wife started running around with this woman who was the secretary/bookkeeper at our church. Found out several years later that she’s a convicted felon. She scammed about 100k from an oilfield pipe and tubing company that she was the bookkeeper at a long time before we arrived on the scene. Didn’t do any jail time, but probation and restitution and all that. I always wondered what our church was thinking given her history.

  475. When is that jassax Rosetta coming back?

  476. Goodnight, PJM and Leon.

    I am SO not going night night.

    I’m telling you, I’ll be back.

  477. Biw,
    Yeah, but even Job’s friends ganged-up on his ass and told him; ‘This wouldn’t be happening to you if you had not sinned! You must confess!” What a load of crap for Job!
    The crappiest bar-bet in the world! The Devil (Wiser) and GOD betting on Jobs faith.

  478. I always wondered what our church was thinking given her history.

    She probably just volunteered. They’re very trusting, those church folk

  479. I always wondered what our church was thinking given her history.

    Forgiveness?

  480. True, but going to God and asking him for permission to fuck with Job in retaliation was a pretty shitty thing to do, Wiser.

    *shrugs

    I was bored.

  481. PJ’s just told us that PJD isn’t getting lucky tonight.

  482. *clock’s running, supposed to take 20 minutes to bring up secondary firewall.

    Nobody is harder on IT than I am. I run it.

  483. Wiser, sounds like life may be fixin’ to suck a lot worse for you.

    I find that incredibly hard to believe, but you are probably right.

    Might be time to start making a plan B.

    I’ve already got two recruiters hard at work

  484. I really don’t want to work on the corporate return tonight.

  485. always wondered what our church was thinking given her history.

    Forgiveness?

    I understand the concept. But I’m more of a trust but verify type of guy. I hope somebody was verifying. Never really asked.

  486. always wondered what our church was thinking given her history.

    I think I might have started her out running the donut sales first for a while.

  487. The crappiest bar-bet in the world!

    Funny you should say that. I’ve always thought of Job as a bar bet too. Fascinating book, by far the oldest in the Bible.

  488. Why. The. Fuck. Am I watching the Daily Show tonight?

  489. Heh.

    http://tinyurl.com/ye2raf8

  490. Why. The. Fuck. Am I watching the Daily Show tonight?

    Universe no longer in need of saving?

  491. I need a dozen White Castle sliders!

  492. And yet, it’s shocking how explicitly Messianic Job is beginning at 19:25, in view of its antiquity.

  493. So what you’re sayin’, Wiser, is I should apply for a job as a bookkeeper at your company?

  494. Never have seen a White Castle, much less eaten at one. What is comparable in the South?

  495. Hostage-like conversation with my daughter:

    daughter: There was a kind of a cute guy working out in the weight room on Tuesday. He asked if I went to XXXXXXX school because I was wearing that t-shirt.

    daughter: At first I thought he was kind of strange…….

    me: Because he was naked?

    daughter: Laughing…no…..because he was grunting loudly while lifting…trying to impress me with his weights.

    me: How old was he?

    daughter: Because of the grunting I was thinking about 70.

    me: Naked, 70 year old…gross

    daughter: Laughing……well, I wonder if he’ll be down there again tonight?

  496. We drove past a Hooters with Ember Jr. the other day and she asked if we could go to “the owl store.”

    I laughed so hard I nearly wrecked the car.

  497. Wiser, in general what do you have experience selling?

  498. So what you’re sayin’, Wiser, is I should apply for a job as a bookkeeper at your company?

    If it’s still there in a week or two, sure.

    On the plus side, maybe this will make the idiots who run said hypothetical company stop spending money like drunken sailors.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! Who the fuck am I kidding.

  499. PG – Chrystal’s

  500. “Wiser, in general what do you have experience selling?”

    Aside from bullshit? ZING.

    Felt like that needed a ZING.

  501. My wife and 18 year old daughter have contests to see who can burp the loudest and longest. And when I bitch about it they both chime in, “At least we don’t fart in bed.” That shows you the contrast in social intercourse in a civilized, cosmopoliltan place like Hawaii as opposed to middle of nowhere TX. And when I complain about it they both chime in, “At least we don’t fart in bed.”

  502. Wiser, in general what do you have experience selling?

    Software. Specifically, healthcare solutions.

  503. Wiser, I can tell you don’t run your life in fear. Leave this POS company. I know it’s a bad time but you can make your own opportunities.

    (Or make your wife work.)

  504. edit fail

  505. And when I complain about it they both chime in, “At least we don’t fart in bed.”

    And just why are you sleeping with both your wife and your daughter?

  506. I am 39 and holding…..UGH!

  507. Leave this POS company.

    I’m working on t hat even as we speak. Not leaving without another job lined up, though. Can’t afford that.

  508. PD, your POL picture reminds me of Clint Eastwood. There maybe someone else too, but I haven’t put my finger on it.

  509. Sohos, you look 25. And where the heck have you been?

  510. And just why are you sleeping with both your wife and your daughter?

    Wife yes. Daughter no. But they talk. Probably everybody in town knows I fart in bed.

  511. Sky, I say this with love, but you have no frickin’ clue as to what it takes to be a sales professional at the high end. I could not do it. It requires a combination of self-motivation, iron nerves, technical knowledge, management of the sales cycle, and immunity to intense pressure from management that is beyond belief.

    I’m not kidding. Really good sales guys make really good money, and they deserve every penny.

  512. I think I meant PG, for pendejo grande.

  513. Military Quote of the Day………….

    “When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional. I’m getting out before it becomes mandatory.”

    MSGT Harry T. Serres, USAF Ret.

  514. I was just kidding, Batman. I have nothing but respect for the profession. Quite seriously. As two of my uncles make good money as sales professionals in health care technology, I have a pretty good idea of how much time, energy, and dedication it takes.

    I couldn’t do it. I’ll stick to selling video games.

  515. Mare, you talkin’ to me?

  516. Yes, I said you’re POL picture reminds me of Clint Eastwood.

  517. My laptop caught a bad bad bad virus but it is fixed and I am picking it up tomorrow so I have had to use the home computer ick so I have been mia b/c its not as easy as my laptop

  518. immunity to intense pressure from management

    heh.

  519. Oh yeah, you are talkin’ to me.

    I take that as one of the better compliments I’ve ever recieved. IRL I’m a hell of a lot thicker than Clint. But I’m getting about as damned grouchy.

  520. Well, good to have you back.

  521. What’s with all the computer viruses going around? I got hit by a nasty one, too, Sohita.

  522. Hola Sohita!

  523. Speaking of POL. Am I the only person that has trouble reconciling Eddiebear’s POL picture with his rants on DPUD?

  524. Why can’t we have nice things??

  525. Michael, why won’t you give us a POL picture? Cathy’s picture in the yearbook is one of the best!

  526. Mare, in your POL picture you remind me of my sister in law. Except you have a much softer, more feminine look. My SIL keeps herself so skinny that it detracts from her femininity. She’s about 5’9″ and weighs about 105. She’d look a lot better at 130. You look a lot like what she’d look like if she’d relax and let shit happen. I mean that in a good way.

  527. Elliott, I remember when Eddie didn’t swear on the webs. He just didn’t. He was very mild mannered.

  528. Am I the only person that has trouble reconciling Eddiebear’s POL picture with his rants on DPUD?

    Was thinking exactly the same thing a couple of days back. He looks like the kinda guy who wouldn’t say shit if he had a mouth full of it.

  529. Elliott, I remember when Eddie didn’t swear on the webs. He just didn’t. He was very mild mannered.

    Lies, fucking damned lies!

  530. I would certainly be looking too, Wiser. But maybe now that theyve fixed the hole in the bucket – things will be a bit better for the bizness.

  531. I think POL is THE BEST. Not only do I feel closer to the people I can attach a face to, it’s just good fun seeing the difference between what their comments “look” like and what the person really looks like.

    No, Elliot you’re not the only one.

    I love Rosetta’s POL picture too, it’s a perfect fit for his personality.

  532. “I think POL is THE BEST. Not only do I feel closer to the people I can attach a face to, it’s just good fun seeing the difference between what their comments “look” like and what the person really looks like.”

    My preconceptions of what we “should” look like based on our comments is never right.

  533. MCPO, I think we hit the same sites.

    Brigitte Bardot was so lovely/cute/sexy/innocent looking/worldly.

  534. Mare – I’m actually stalking your web browsing.

  535. things will be a bit better for the bizness.

    They haven’t fixed their 1992 mind-set. They still think people are waving checkbooks around, just dying to buy whatever bullshit lie they are told.

    Sadly, we have idiots running our company who made their bones during the IT boom, when a monkey could have been succesful. They insist on running our company using the exact same processes and refuse to understand that our prospects ae smarter and we are in a different economy.

    So it’s no surprise that they got taken like they did. But I doubt their egos will let them take any responsibility. Nor will it make them take a step back and regroup.

    ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, DEAR FRIENDS!!! FULL STEAM AHEAD!!!

  536. The “feel good” story of the night:

    http://tinyurl.com/yfq3x6q

  537. Not only do I feel closer to the people I can attach a face to,

    Every time I read some of wiserbud’s shit I see the Animal House character he has for an avatar. Same with MCPO. I have to go to the POL page and refresh my memory as to what they actually look like.

  538. Mare is SUCH a beautiful woman inside and out

  539. I have a plastic surgeon appt in the morning to see how much he can shrink my hideous scar

  540. I agree sohos. But I doubt that any of us fellows could rub one out by looking at a picture of Mare’s insides.

    TMI?

  541. Knee scars used to be a badge of badassery. Not so much anymore. Good luck on the plastic surgeony thing. I sat in a docs waiting room today for an hour and a half waiting to get 4 stitches removed from my arm. Finally gave up and went home. I’ll try and take em out myself with some toenail clippers tomorrow.

  542. I just had one of those fun conversations with Heir No. One, who was whining that he doesn’t want to go the the Blue and Gold banquet tomorrow night because “other people will randomly pick out our food this year.” (Its catered this year), and I had to explain to him that :
    A. Its a pack meeting,
    B. He’s getting four awards
    C. I’m one of the leaders
    and D. I had to buy tickets for this thing, so he’s committed anyway, but if he doesn’t want to eat, he doesn’t have to.

    “Yeah, but you won’t buy me dinner on the way home, either.”

    “No, I won’t. I bought you dinner when I bought the tickets. But you can have a baloney sandwich when we get home.”

    *more whining*

  543. Knee scars used to be a badge of badassery. Not so much anymore. Good luck on the plastic surgeony thing. I sat in a docs waiting room today for an hour and a half waiting to get 4 stitches removed from my arm. Finally gave up and went home. I’ll try and take em out myself with some toenail clippers tomorrow.

    Cheer Up, Kommerade! When Our Glorious Leader gives us the benefit of Obamacare, we can spend 12 hours waiting for such simple service!

  544. Sohos, this is why I missed you. You’re sweet and funny.

    And I’ll pray that you get what you need concerning your scars. Although, I bet they bother you more than Count.

  545. nite.

  546. Other people randomly picked out what I was gonna eat almost every day of my life until I got married at age 22. It was called the school cafeteria.

    Is your boy a wolf, bear, or ????? I’ve forgotten what the other level of cub scouts is. I just know that Weblos had a negative connotation even amongst 4th graders.

  547. Sweet dreams, Wiser. You’re a good dude.

  548. How does one access the POL? – or should I just stfu

  549. Ok, he’s out. That was 6 minutes longer than I thought he’d make it.

  550. Night Wiser. If I offended, I apologize. :) Sweet dreams!

  551. doc, ya gotta email rosetta for the password I think. that’s how it worked back in the day anway.

  552. Doc, you can access POL once you submit a picture for it. It’s kind of like joining the club. Once you have access, you can say what you want but you can’t link/show anyone else the pictures. It’s part of the “code.”

    Submit a picture to PJM or Rosetta or xbrad. Ask them for their emails.

  553. Email me a photo of yourself doc.

    I’ll put ya in and then you can see all of us.

  554. PG, he’s a first year Webelos.

  555. Mrs. Grande is beckoning me to the bedroom. For sleeping purposes only. Who’s doing the mams manana? Can’t wait.

  556. For sleeping purposes only.

    wink wink

  557. Mr. Ember is broken. He somehow threw out his back making me a pot of coffee this morning. I’m not sure how it happened, but I know that It’s All My Fault™.

  558. but I know that It’s All My Fault™.

    cold. hearted. bitch

  559. Count doesn’t care one whit and it is the scar where they put the bones back in PG not the knee :) The knee doesn’t look bad at all.

  560. “cold. hearted. bitch”

    I’ve come to terms with it.

  561. You’re a good dad BiW. And I know that cause I had a good dad and he got me started in cubs and kept me going in the BSA until I finally eeked out an Eagle. Boys need that environment now more than ever.

  562. nighty night wiserbabe

  563. Count’s a good boy sohos.

    I’ve come to terms with it.

    Yeah. I’ve come to term with my “issues” too

  564. A lesson for my daughter about TOXIC people.

    We gave my daughter cowboy boots for her birthday. She didn’t expect them but just absolutely loved them. Wore them all day with shorts and anything else. Her friends at school wanted her to wear them to school. She felt kind of funny but really did want to show them off.

    Everyone loved them and even said, “tuck your jeans in your boots to show off the stitching!!”

    One girl who has always been jealous of her said, “Why would you ask for cowboy boots for your birthday?” “Where are you ever going to wear those?”

    I told her, that’s an example of a toxic person. Someone who makes you feel worse when your with them rather than better.

  565. I’m having a hard time convincing mom that this particular cantaloupe isn’t just a little over ripe, but rotten. I think the rotten stench should be clue enough.

  566. ooooh I love that Mare stealing that for lessons with daughter dear

  567. you’re

  568. Software. Specifically, healthcare solutions.

    Check your email.

  569. I’m lurking sos the wimmens can talk freely.

  570. Mr. Ember is broken.

    Is he still under warranty?

  571. I went to exactly ONE boy scout meeting. I was not impressed, even at 6 years old, of being around that many people

  572. “Is he still under warranty?”

    Nah, the clerk at the store told me to call tech support. I got put on hold indefinitely. So I drugged Mr. Ember with muscle relaxants, put him to bed, and am spending the night with you fine folks.

  573. I’m lurking sos the wimmens can talk freely won’t call the cops.

    FTFY

  574. Mr. Ember is broken.

    There are plenty of ways you can help fix him right up without his exerting himself. It’ll still be your fault, but he’ll be ok with it

  575. Thanks, Sohos. My daughter is the most unpretentious kid I know. She was sincerely excited and grateful.

    SCREW THOSE BITCHY SHREWS!!!

    Their husbands will find out too late what Beeeeaches they are.

  576. “There are plenty of ways you can help fix him right up without his exerting himself. It’ll still be your fault, but he’ll be ok with it”

    If you’re thinking what I think you’re saying, he refuses all advances and insisted on going to be early and me “leaving him the hell alone.” Ah, true love.

  577. So I drugged Mr. Ember with muscle relaxants, put him to bed, and am spending the night with you fine folks.

    *looks around*

    Fine folks?

  578. psst – where do i send the e-mail PJ? I tried smoke signals but I think my neighbor may have intercepted.

  579. The other lesson is that when someone is excited about something, why not just be excited with them and for them? Put your feelings aside and let them have their moment.

    Michael, you never answered my question about your POL picture.

  580. he refuses all advances and insisted on going to be early and me “leaving him the hell alone.”

    Well that doesn’t make any sense. Have you tried forcing yourself on him?

  581. “Why would you ask for cowboy boots for your birthday?” “Where are you ever going to wear those?”

    SHE”S WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW YOU MORON!!!!!

  582. *looks around*

    Fine folks?

    She thinks we’re the voices in her head. Best to play along

  583. Am I the only person that has trouble reconciling Eddiebear’s POL picture with his rants on DPUD?

    Nope. Eddie has actually stayed at my house, with his adorable daughter. In person, he is just the nicest guy and a big shmoop with his daughter. He saves the rage for DPUD.

  584. Hola.

    Tired.

  585. “SHE”S WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW YOU MORON!!!!!”

    Me love PJM.

  586. “Well that doesn’t make any sense. Have you tried forcing yourself on him?”

    Well, the muscle relaxant hasn’t helped my cause.

  587. pjmommaatgmaildotcom

  588. The other lesson is that when someone is excited about something, why not just be excited with them and for them?

    Prolly because she’s a little bitch whose parents didn’t raise her right.

  589. *hugs Sean
    *talks to Sean
    Keeping your and your family, especially Grandpa, in my thoughts. I hope he recovers quickly. /talking to Sean

    “But it seems that the missing guy Andrew was found dead today in some park
    Prayers for his family. A father mourning his son is always a tragedy.”

    He was the son of he actor who played the Russian (Chekov) on Star Trek. They seem like good, caring parents. Sorry for them.

  590. goodnight everyone

  591. i hope you are feeling better Mrs. Patty Ann and now goodnight for realz

  592. pjmommaeatscrawfishatnewcastledotcom

  593. Michael, I remember that meet-up for IB. I remember thinking, “I would love to meet those people.”

    I recall the conversation about Eddie staying in one of your rooms.

    Also, you linked for me some pictures of Cathy in your kitchen and some around the pool. Really good stuff. WP’s feet too.

  594. Well, the muscle relaxant hasn’t helped my cause.

    HAHAHAHAHA!

  595. *is still super-excited to meet Batman and possibly DiT in two weeks!*

  596. Thanks, Patty Ann. Fro the hug (I hope it didn’t hurt your arm) and the thoughts and the talking.

    Are you feeling better?

  597. I told her, that’s an example of a toxic person. Someone who makes you feel worse when your with them rather than better.

    Oh.

    Like Mesa bitching about how tired he is, just because he had to do an honest day’s work.

    I get it.

  598. HI PA!!!!

    MWAH!!!!!!

  599. Gonna get PJD drunk and leave him with trannies in Montrose in a few days.

  600. G’night, sohita.

  601. Sweet dreams, Sohos!!

  602. Gonna get PJD drunk and leave him with trannies in Montrose in a few days.

    Close, personal friends to watch out for him at least

  603. pjmommaeatscrawfishatnewcastledotcom

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    barf

  604. Night, Sohita! Sweet dreams.

  605. Gonna get PJD drunk and leave him with trannies in Montrose in a few days.

    Are you? I hadn’t heard anything from you.

  606. Michael, you never answered my question about your POL picture.

    I’m in a position where my anonymity is real important to me, especially given the non-PC opinions that I sometimes express at IB, like my persistent advocacy of the conquest of Canada.

  607. I don’t mind the work. Just want to get paid for it.

    We’re now at the point that if we can ramp things up a little more next month — actually make money. Not bad considering what we started with.

    Oh, and the Extreme Makeover people liked our work so much that they want us to do four times more as fencing for their yard before the show airs. We get paid this time, not much, but something.

  608. Hi PattyAnn, how’s the shoulder coming along?

  609. Did you guys at least get paid for your supplies? Or did you have to donate that as well?

  610. Well done, Mesa!

    Michael, I understand.

    Witness protection is a bitch.

    ps Who wants Canada?

  611. ps Who wants Canada?

    When Mexico invades us, we can throw Canada at them to distract them while we run.

  612. I don’t mind the work. Just want to get paid for it.

    Quit your whining.

    Actually, Mesa, you are something of a hero to me. Launching a small business in the pit of a recession takes some brass balls.

    Ain’t America great?

  613. When Mexico invades us, we can throw Canada at them to distract them while we run.

    And we can use undocumented workers to do it!

  614. I’m in a position where my anonymity is real important to me, especially given the non-PC opinions that I sometimes express at IB, like my persistent advocacy of the conquest of Canada.

    And keeping a boy in a cave is more than a little bit suspect.

  615. Are you? I hadn’t heard anything from you.

    I replied. Should be enough.

  616. Mare: anybody who could put up with my daughter and me deserve sainthood, even the Lutheran kind.

  617. “Actually, Mesa, you are something of a hero to me. Launching a small business in the pit of a recession takes some brass balls.”

    Completely agree. My husband and I have really enjoyed looking at the pictures of your shop and the Extreme Makeover stuff.

    “When Mexico invades us, we can throw Canada at them to distract them while we run.”

    We are soooo going out together.

  618. I replied. Should be enough.

    *rolls eyes

  619. We are soooo going out together.

    I wanted to call you last night.

    stupid cell phone

  620. ps Who wants Canada?

    Me, Those bitches think the War of !812 is over. Not in my book, I’m still pissed about it.

    Plus, they have lots of shale oil.

  621. MIchael (Batman): Supreme Leader of Canada.

  622. Launching a small business in the pit of a recession takes some brass balls.

    Or an IT market that completely disappears. Best option at the time. Lots of work ahead.

  623. PJm – You have my number yet you never call!?!?!!

  624. The War of Exclamation Point 812 was pretty brutal.

  625. PJm – You have my number yet you never call!?!?!!

    Oh that was a joke MCPO. I dreamt I was in Hawaii last night, but I couldn’t call Mare because I went on some ride that dipped into the ocean and it got my cell phone wet so I couldn’t use it.

    That is all I dreamt about.

  626. The War of Exclamation Point 812 was pretty brutal.

    HAHAHAHAHA!

  627. Shit. I just realized I left my coffee mug at my store today. How will I stay awake tomorrow?

  628. it’s gonna be stinky too

  629. “The War of Exclamation Point 812 was pretty brutal.’

    hahahahahahahahah…..Seany is especially funny after Jeopardy.

  630. Shit. I just realized I left my coffee mug at my store today. How will I stay awake tomorrow?

    There’s always cocaine

  631. Rats will probably drink from it.

  632. MCPO, shouldn’t you be getting some rest so you can hustle some poor 80 year old out of his Depends money on the golf course?

    Oh wait, you guys bet with Depends.

    Jumbo box.

  633. Just mainline your coffee.

  634. “There’s always cocaine”

    I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say it’s probably easier to buy a new coffee mug in the morning than it is to find some cocaine in the next 9 hours.

  635. ps Who wants Canada?

    Me, Those bitches think the War of !812 is over. Not in my book, I’m still pissed about it.

    Plus, they have lots of shale oil.

    But they weren’t as good as we were at killing off the indians, which means they actually have to deal with theirs. And the Quebois. I met and spoke with Gilles Duceppe. Those guys are nucking futz.

  636. new coffee mug in the morning than it is to find some cocaine in the next 9 hours.

    don’t play coy

  637. How much you need?

  638. PJm – You have my number yet you never call!?!?!!

    You could call me you know.

    It’d be so fun. You could hear kids screaming, crying, talking and yelling at each other in the background and not hear a word I say.

  639. How on earth would I know how much cocaine I need?

  640. I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say it’s probably easier to buy a new coffee mug in the morning than it is to find some cocaine in the next 9 hours.

    On the other hand, it’s probably easier to find some meth than a coffee cup.

  641. You’re right, Ember. No cocaine.

    Go with meth.

  642. I could just try to make the meth myself, right? Save the middle-man?

  643. An eight ball would be a decent start.

  644. On the other hand, it’s probably easier to find some meth than a coffee cup.

    You do live in the south, it’s more readily available than Starbucks.

  645. **shakes fist at Sean**

  646. “An eight ball would be a decent start.”

    If I needed an entire eight ball to get me through a five hour meeting, that would be a problem. Fucking dealers, tryin’ to scam extra cash off a bitch.

  647. Crack is still the cheapest option.

    Less than ten bucks for the same kick as about twenty cups of coffee – in ten seconds.

  648. Or an IT market that completely disappears. Best option at the time. Lots of work ahead.

    I remember reading an article one time about this really great, and profitable, wine store that was at a truck stop in Bumfuck, Missouri. OK, don’t hold me to the details, I’m making this up, but the basic story is true. See, this truck stop was half-way between St. Louis and Kansans City (or some other two cities), and people would stop there to gas up, including people with money. One time, the owner just happened to have a few cases of really good wine, and they sold out right away. So he started stocking good wines, and kept making money. That truck stop in Bumfuck became famous for fine wines.

    My point, and the point of the article — capitalism and free markets more or less happen by accident. It’s not a plan; socialists plan. Capitalism and free markets depend on random accidents.

  649. You do live in the south, it’s more readily available than Starbucks.

    Shit, if she lived out in the desert where b-rad’s mom lives, it would be more readily available than drinking water.

  650. The only drugs I can score treat cholesterol, heartburn and E.D.

  651. “Crack is still the cheapest option.

    Less than ten bucks for the same kick as about twenty cups of coffee – in ten seconds.”

    Meet me in the alley next to the homeless guy who smells like pee.

  652. Crack is still the cheapest option.

    And who needs teeth? What with the superior dental technology these days, you’ll be good looking again in no time.

  653. It’s for the gas.

    Plus, you be far.

    I’ll be up there in a minute.

  654. heartburn

    I have that drug.

  655. Meet me in the alley next to the homeless guy who smells like pee.

    So you found Rosetta?

  656. … wait. Now, where can I find a crack pipe in the next 9 hours?

  657. Meet me in the alley next to the homeless guy who smells like pee.

    Um, you’re gonna have to be a little more specific about which homeless guy you’re talking about.

  658. “The only drugs I can score treat cholesterol, heartburn and E.D.”

    hahahahahahahahahaha……ahhh, MCPO.

  659. “Um, you’re gonna have to be a little more specific about which homeless guy you’re talking about.”

    Well, my personal favorite homeless guy here in Lafayette yells “42!” at me every time I walk by. He overheard me and a friend discussing Hitchhiker’s Guide while very drunk one night, and, apparently, I told him that if he remembered to tell me “42” the next time I saw him, I’d give him a dollar. (I was … very, very drunk.) That guy has made a fucking mint off me.

  660. PJM, will be wearing her sister’s dentures.

    (A timely, however, obscure joke. Anyone?)

  661. Attention:

    Doc is now in POL.

    I repeat. Doc is now in POL.

    he’s below Dick, Doc

    is

  662. I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say it’s probably easier to buy a new coffee mug in the morning than it is to find some cocaine in the next 9 hours.

    That depends on your neighborhood.

  663. … wait. Now, where can I find a crack pipe in the next 9 hours?

    *leaves crack pipe in mailbox*

    Just trying to help!

  664. “PJM, will be wearing her sister’s dentures.

    (A timely, however, obscure joke. Anyone?)”

    ZING! Which stupid donkey said that? I can’t remember which one it was.

  665. A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

    The man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke,’ and turns to the ostrich, ‘What’s yours?’

    ‘I’ll have the same,’ says the ostrich.

    A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That will be $9.40 please,’ and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, ‘A hamburger, fries and a coke’

    The ostrich says, ‘I’ll have the same.’

    Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress.

    ‘No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man.

    ‘Same,’ says the ostrich.

    Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’

    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

    The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

    ‘Well,’ says the man, ‘several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie apeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’

    ‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It’s brilliant!’

    ‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,’ says the man.

    The waitress asks, ‘What’s with the ostrich?’

    The man sighs, pauses and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.’

  666. “*leaves crack pipe in mailbox*

    Just trying to help!”

    ‘Tis why you’re my favorite stalker. *pours Sean whiskey. leaves on windowsill*

  667. Can you smoke crack from a bowl like the one Doc’s daughter made him?

  668. The man sighs, pauses and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say

    Who the hell sits around and thinks up this stuff?

    drunk ass bastards is who

    Who the hell thinks it’s funny?

    drunk ass bastards is who

  669. Doc is not a douche. Repeat…Doc is not a douche!!!

  670. *gulps whiskey*

    Thanks, Ember! 42!

  671. Hey no crack in that bowl, that’s where I keep my meth.

  672. Doc is not a douche. Repeat…Doc is not a douche!!!

    He’s not. He’s a cutie. My bosoms heaved when I responded to his email.

  673. “Thanks, Ember! 42!”

    *gives Sean a dollar*

  674. You can make a crack pipe out of a shoe lace and some dirt, if you really have to.

    Don’t ask me how I know this.

  675. Yeah, a new Hostage….Doc.

    Have we figured out if he is an actual Doc or he takes out organs and ships them to Saudi Arabia?

    Wait, wait….I think I remember he is a vet. Yeah, we can ask questions about our pets.

  676. Doc, your daughter is a cutie patootie.

  677. Who the hell sits around and thinks up this stuff?

    drunk ass bastards is who

    Getting read for another dream about me?

  678. ***earthquake in S. California***

  679. Doc, Little Doc is cute as hell.

  680. 21

  681. Lil’ Doc be kissing on her Daddy… AHHHHHHH!

  682. “21”

    *gives Mesa 50 cents*

  683. Getting read for another dream about me?

    I’m not drunk yet.

  684. 37296?

  685. 1!

    There is math involved

  686. ***earthquake in S. California***

    I’m slow.

    I was actually going to go to the news to see if there was an earthquake.

  687. Goodnight, douchenheimers!

  688. There’s been a helicopter circling and hovering just to the east of here for more than an hour, and it doesn’t seem to be searching for anything with a spotlight or anything. WTF?

  689. *used a calculator to decide that she will not be giving mesa 888 dollars*

  690. Maybe using infrared, Sean.

  691. Goodnight, douchenheimers!

    Isn’t it time for you to leave Florida? You’ve been there long enough!!

    I wanted to tell you what Graham is doing for Spring Break too. I know you’ve been there before.

  692. Sweet dreams, MCPO!

  693. Maybe using infrared, Sean.

    Sean, your “special” friendl doesn’t glow does it?

  694. Sean, your “special” friendl doesn’t glow does it?

    He’ll just look like a dog, humping air

  695. Sean, put your pants back on. Go back inside. Now.

  696. He’ll just look like a dog, humping air

    HAHAHA!

    great visual

  697. Aw shucks, thanks all. Yep I have 2 beautiful daughters. Emily in the pic is 12, Meg will be 5 in a couple weeks. Son Josh is 14 and he’s a handsome boy. Fortunately for him he got his hair from teh wife’s side , little bastard. Just a preemptive Fuck You to all you hirsute assholes in the POL, Geoff is the worst offender.

  698. Did you guys know that it’s a myth that men get baldness from their mother’s side? It is genetic, but not strictly from the maternal side.

    YOU MISOGYNIST PIGS ALWAYS TRYING TO BLAME THE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!

  699. “YOU MISOGYNIST PIGS ALWAYS TRYING TO BLAME THE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!”

    Remember – It’s All My Fault™. I have yet to find something that my husband can’t somehow blame me for.

  700. Why did you put that black gunk under his toenails ember?

    You’re a sick little monkey.

  701. Maybe using infrared, Sean.

    Thing is, I just called SBCSD (which is where it would have come from) and they said that none of their helicopters are on assignment.

    The thing is loud as fuck, too.

  702. “Why did you put that black gunk under his toenails ember?

    You’re a sick little monkey.”

    I can’t help it. I am woman. It’s what I do.

  703. In that case, Sean, ask Ron Paul. I’m sure he’s an expert on black helicopters.

  704. Holy cow!!! 705 comments.

    Half made by me and PJM.

  705. racist

  706. hahahaha, my eye has been all over the place today mare. If I had any pride, I’d be embarrassed.

    I’m going to have nightmares tonight however.

    I’ve been reading this while chatting with you kids

    http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/predators/rodney_alcala/1.html

  707. And now, on that note, I have to go to bed so I can get up, smoke some crack, drive to Baton Rouge, sit through a meeting, get some Jack In The Box, and come home. Exciting life I lead.

  708. Almost a quarter million comments on H2.

    Add the comments from H1 and that’s like seven million.

  709. Jack in the Box is the best. They didn’t have any in Florida. I was so sad and now that I’ve been back in SoCal for over a year, I’ve been there exactly twice.

    Mexican food is mo bettah

  710. No Jack in the Box in Laffayette. And only mediocre Mexican. Le sigh.

    Night, Hostages and Hostagettes!

  711. I have decided that as long as there are Whataburgers and Sonics, I will never have to go to Jack in the Box.

    JitB is nasty.

  712. night ember

  713. I’ve been reading this while chatting with you kids

    Look up Aileen Wuornos and Jane Toppan. The women seem more creepy

  714. We just got a sonic here couple months back.

    Line of cars wrapped around the building for days. My friends live nearby and couldn’t get into their driveway and had to pick up Sonic trash left in their yard all the time.

    Funniest part of the whole thing? My girlfriend actually works at the Jack in the Box headquarters in the test kitchen.

  715. Just saw it on the news. Off-duty LAPD officer was killed in a multi-car crash just up the road. Damn.

  716. Look up Aileen Wuornos and Jane Toppan. The women seem more creepy

    I should NEVER go to that web-site………but sometimes I just have to.

  717. Night, Ember. May visions of crack pipes and Jumbo Jacks dance ’round your head.

  718. Just saw it on the news. Off-duty LAPD officer was killed in a multi-car crash just up the road. Damn.

    Well that’s just sad. :(

  719. Well that’s just sad.

    Yep. It was a news chopper covering the crash the whole time. Just flew away.

    The aftermath of the accident looked particularly ugly.

  720. I must hit the hay, hay, hay now

    NYTOL

  721. Deputy shot and killed in Sanger, which is by Fresno. Another officer in critical.

  722. That serial killer stuff is really bad. I’m sure you all wonder like me, what the hell happened to make these freaks want to kill, rape and photograph their victims. Absolutely sick.

    These guys need to be killed. Swiftly.

  723. Sweet dreams, PJM.

  724. Yeah, I’m sure she’ll have sweet dreams, after you mention serial killers taking pictures.

  725. Why don’t you just link a clown picture?

  726. I’m sure you all wonder like me, what the hell happened to make these freaks want to kill, rape and photograph their victims. Absolutely sick.

    I’ve been studying that for the past 4 years, plan to spend a significant chunk of my life attempting to figure it out.

  727. “Why don’t you just link a clown picture?”

    Yeah, I didn’t do that right.

    Mesa always finds the crazy stuff. Although, I got the feeling reading that, there could be a sweet love story by the end of winter with those two.

  728. Although, I got the feeling reading that, there could be a sweet love story by the end of winter with those two.

    Mesa and Wiser?

  729. That serial killer stuff is really bad. I’m sure you all wonder like me, what the hell happened to make these freaks want to kill, rape and photograph their victims. Absolutely sick.

    Who are we to judge? Maybe he didn’t get hugged enough as a kid.

  730. Low self-esteem. That’s the ticket.

  731. It seems that the Blind and Vision Rehabilitation Services of Pittsburgh has postponed their ski race due to bad weather. LOL had to share – was checking for delays or cancellations for school tomorrow and caught that.

  732. I just yanked the second to last stitch out of my finger — woo hoo!

    One more to go, but it’s buried under scab. That happened on the 19th of last month, still have some scabbing.

  733. That is some hardcore rehab.

  734. Sean, stop killing people.

  735. I saw references to your injury Mesa, but didn’t hear what happened. So…what happened?

  736. Sean, stop killing people.

    I’ve never killed anybody. My “friend,” “Billy,” on the other hand…

  737. well ouch. Try not to do that no more.

  738. Use Doc’s hand next time.

  739. well ouch. Try not to do that no more.

    Say, that’s some sage advice right there.

  740. PJM?

    http://tinyurl.com/yj2eyx8

  741. Night ya’ll.

  742. Sleep well, doc, and try notto dream of mesa’s sex toy accident.

  743. You’re little Japanese friend won silver.

  744. The thing about wingnuts – they will still hold things together, despite getting screwed in the process.

  745. My Korean fantasy girl won Gold.

  746. Yeah, she was smiling like a Cheshire cat up there on the podium.

    I’m no huge fan of Asian women, but I had a great time in Korea, and really liked the people. Only place I ever went where folks were happy to see American troops.

  747. OK, sleepy time.

  748. My neighbor across the street is a top US executive of a Korean tire company, and, since he was a little kid at the time, he just barely remembers the Korean War.

    His son is a 2nd Lt. in the Army, stationed in Korea. His name is Sean. I’ve told him more than a few times that his son is a better Sean than I am.

  749. GUHNNNNN FINGAHHHS!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU4hgHVrc-k

    Someday, I’m gonna marry that girl.

  750. OK, just saw the Kirsten Dunst thing. Guess who’s gonna be up for Load HEAT next week.

  751. Someday, I’m gonna marry that girl.

    *** Changes Water in SeaNm’s Bong ***

  752. Morning folks.

    Note to Geoff – I did NOT read all the comments this time.


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