Back

Yeah – I’ve been gone. One of Rosie’s Fat Chick Friday girls gave me an ISTD (Intarnets Sessually Transmitted Disease). I got a cure from an internet billing company – they removed a fee from my bill (a “green dis-charge”), and I’m feeling much better.

And, just to fulfill your daily need for crap, here’s the Leningrad Cowboys and the Red Army Choir singing “Sweet Home Alabama.”

Why?

Fuck if I know.

148 Comments

  1. hi

  2. farts

  3. Damn, you guys are fast. I suspect it’s not the first time you’ve heard that, either.

  4. Well, glad I could help. You may now return to your normally scheduled boredom.

  5. lauraw, are ya looking in the mirror? They wanna know if you are going to do something about who is really responsible.

    Difference between them and us….they like living on their knees. Send them some kneepads.

  6. I’m going to send that Grauniad article to the Ace coblog group.

    It needs to be properly beaten.

  7. Buenas Dias, Funknozzles.

    Is it true what I hear…..that Great Britain used to be a Western nation state? That’s kinda hard to swallow.

  8. I replied ‘will do’ to that one, PA.

    Of course, to me, that means helping our guys win.

  9. Did you notice that moron, Queenan was wearing a hat? Just like the other douche bags, Buckley and Meghan McCain.

  10. lauraw, are ya looking in the mirror?

    What’s really funny about those loons is that they act like we haven’t been complaining about our government’s wasteful spending for years, including during the Bush years.

    But now we are organized around a single, simple concept and suddenly they want to know where we were all this time. I think that says more about their own blindness and stupidity than anything else.

    In addition, lauraw nailed it perfectly regarding the apathy of the average American starting to fade away. A whole lot of people, myself included, used to believe that, no matter what idiocy they were doing in Washington, they at least weren’t trying to destroy the basic foundation of this country. I think the scales have fallen from a whole lot of people’s eyes and they see now what is really happening. And they are fed up. And they are not going to simply sit back and take it anymore.

    And that scares the leftists and the Marxists more than anything else. They cannot control an involved and informed citizenry. So they need to belittle them and attempt to undermine the uprising before it really gets rolling.

    Too bad for them that it’s too late.

  11. “They cannot control an involved and informed citizenry.”

    Since the arrival of the internet and, subsequently, Fox and Drudge and every blogger who chooses to report all the news that’s not fit to print, the citizenry has had its eyes opened and have reacted accordingly.

  12. What pleases me the most about the new media and Fox’s ascendancy is the opportunity for plain, ordinary patriotism to have a voice.

    A place where the US can be assumed to be ‘good,’ for all its foibles. It is refreshing just to not have that undercurrent of venom there. I think most Americans find that refreshing, too.

    Nobody likes being told they’re guilty assholes 24/7.

  13. Oh my God, what a pile of tripe. I had one of those, and no matter how they attached those hydrocarpic marzal veins the to the ambifacient lunar wangshaft, there was always side fumbling.

  14. Worst hairdryer I ever had, really.

  15. Just try finding the On switch. Just try.

  16. So I called Mr. Beasn at work and asked him why FedEx would be sending him a big ol’ box with his name on it.

    He says, ‘Um..not sure…oh, it might be something from work’.

    Beasnette drags it in and it is a 26″ LCD HDTV. WTF? Since when do they give those out at work?

  17. Ahhh….beasnette just did some rootling around in the box…..something in there says ’25 years’.

    Anniversary.

  18. Awww….hubby got himself a 25 year anniversary gift?

    HA HA HA HAAA

  19. No, the company gave it to him for 25 years of his life.

  20. Sometimes I require a ferrescent score motion. That’s where the drawn reciprocation dinglearm comes in handy. My soinusoidal repleneration is immediately reduced.

    boom chicka boom wah wahhh

  21. OHHHH

    Fanks beasn.

    I think we killed it, BTW.

  22. Oh and they gave him a gold tie pin with their logo on it. Seeing as they dress casual in the workplace………

  23. I’m surprised that they didn’t put a bunch of pharmaceuticals in there…sleeping aids, anti-depressants, narcotics….

    Heh. I better go get ready for work.

    Later replenerator.

  24. My soinusoidal repleneration is immediately reduced.

    Well! That explains everything! (The hump, too.) We can fix that.

  25. No, the company gave it to him for 25 years of his life.

    Speaking from experience, I can tell you he got the short end of that deal.

  26. I wear my dad’s ring he got from GE after 20 years. He wears the gold watch they gave him when he retired.

    I admire anyone who can stay with one company for more than 5 years.

  27. And I want to know which ones of you (13 – 22%) said you had no latex gloves in your house in the poll in the last poat? Weirdos. Freaks. Democrats! I can count the number of BOXES of gloves we have.

  28. Someone’s been sentenced 25 years to life?

  29. For fifteen years, I got a cheap clock and a crappy severance.

  30. I admire anyone who can stay with one company for more than 5 years.

    Employers used to appreciate their employees. Now, employers will use temp service employees to escape draconian payroll and insurance implications of permanent staff.

  31. Anyone here not afraid of porn?

    Because if you aren’t, will you please go to http://www.outube.com and see if you get redirected to porn?

    I just want to make sure it’s not my computer. I really wanted to go to youtube.com been having issues with my favorite computer and am afraid I’m gonna have to wipe out the hard drive and start fresh.

    *sigh

  32. Wiser went to the Grauniad and scattered his pearls before swine over there too.

  33. Yes, that link you gave goes to porn, PJM. It’s not youtube, that’s for sure.

  34. That’s porn. But the link isn’t to YouTube.

  35. That’s porn. But the link isn’t to YouTube.

    I know it’s not youtube. I didn’t press the “y” hard enough so it didn’t show…..and I got sent to buntube instead, but my other computer has been redirecting me to a WHOLE lotta things lately

    thanks for checking. I was pretty sure I’d find a few people on this blog who were unafraid of porn. Just a hunch

  36. What browser are you using?

  37. Yes, that link you gave goes to porn, PJM. It’s not youtube, that’s for sure.

    thank you for checking too agile

    firefox is what I use

  38. I worked for a company for 18 years, left and then went back. Policy said that I picked up where I left off counting for full retirement (need 20 years). At 19 years, another company bought us. At 19.5 years, they said no-one can earn anymore time toward retirement (the new company didn’t have a retirement plan). The was the biggest fisting I’ve got from an employer. Don’t work there anymore, and never will again.

    Needless to say, employment anniversaries don’t mean much to me anymore.

  39. PJM
    get some new antivirus programs.

  40. Wiser went to the Grauniad and scattered his pearls before swine over there too.

    lauraw, are you guys talking about something from the previous thread?

  41. Good morning latex-lovers. how’s that rash?

  42. When’s the last time you cleared your cache?

    Do you have CCleaner?

    Do you have the latest update from Mozilla (and make damn sure you get it from the right website, there’s a fake going around).

  43. Try this, PJ, it should help:

    http://tinyurl.com/y8mdlf9

  44. When’s the last time you cleared your cache?

    Do you have CCleaner?

    Do you have the latest update from Mozilla (and make damn sure you get it from the right website, there’s a fake going around).

    daily
    I have ccleaner, avg and spybot search and destroy

  45. Try this, PJ, it should help:

    kinky devil, you

  46. That’s not kinky.

    You’re the one putting links to hardcore porn in here.

    BTW, you may wanna delete that link.

  47. Why? I specifically stated it would most likely go to porn.

  48. This should go to wiser’s last comment on that column.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2010/feb/07/democrats-tea-party-coffee-claque?showallcomments=true#end-of-comments

  49. Wiser went to the Grauniad and scattered his pearls before swine over there too.

    I like how they call us mentally defective, yet they can’t even discuss this without resorting to just the most ridiculous attacks.

    TEA PARTIERS ARE ANGRY, HATE-FILLED MANIACS AND I HATE HATE HATE HATE THEM!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR….OOOOOOOOOOO…..BLBLBLBLBBLBLLBLBLBL……

  50. This should go to wiser’s last comment on that column.

    I’m in love.

    *thud

    wiser’s such a stud

    he’s so clean and articulate

  51. ohhhhh, I think I could bat for the other team with jenspf woman.

    I love you guys

  52. He wasn’t very clean when I met him.

    Fairly articulate though. At least at first. He was slurring quite a bit by midnite though.

  53. b-rad, that’s not very nice.

    Why, in some countries, “uh duh duh duh duh” is considered quite articulate.

  54. Who ever accused me of being “nice?”

  55. From Purple Avenger’s latest item at Ace’s:

    a troubling sign that companies are still too pessimistic about the economy to begin restocking shelves on a sustained basis…

    That One Time Laura Was Right Theater

    I’ve never been fond of having lots of inventory anyway, but I really really stopped bothering to keep a full array of materials around my shop some time last Spring.

    Then in December I really let it run down practically to bare bones. Scott was after me every time I turned around about how low I was. It was making it hard for him to help me around the store through the holiday, especially because he wasn’t familiar with all my little workarounds.

    My exact words to him: “I don’t want thousands of dollars of stuff just sitting here. I won’t be able to pay January’s and February’s bills with inventory.”

    This has been a production of That One Time Laura Was Right Theater.

  56. […] Back « The H2: Watching Dogs Milk Goats Since March 2009 […]

  57. Laura, the desire to keep inventory low has been a major factor in all aspects of industry for some time now. Indeed, since the invention of containerized multi-modal shipping in the 60s (ie, container ships>containters on trains> containers on trucks> right to the factory) we’ve seen “just in time inventory” where many manufacturers have less than a day’s inventory on site. The rest is in the pipeline.

    As you have figured out, inventory on the shelves generates no income, only expense.

  58. http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=17344

  59. Laura is right. Inventory is the bane of any place that has inventory

  60. wiser’s such a stud

    Now imagine me reading what I wrote to you in my deep, Barry-White voice, while giving you a massage by candlelight…..

  61. Now imagine me reading what I wrote to you in my deep, Barry-White voice, while giving you a massage by candlelight…..

    Quick – someone link that “Good morning, son” picture……

  62. Eddie, I used to work logistics for a short while, and we kind of turned things upside down. We struggled to keep inventory up, and always fought a shortage of on-hand spares.

    Of course, the Army works in an environment where supply lines are the most vulnerable part of the whole enterprise, so “efficiency” was not a good thing.

  63. Looking at the comments that are in response to wiserbud’s post over there, here’s a summation:

    I agree with everything you advocate Mr. Wiserbud but how can you people be so viciously opposed to BO when he’s just trying to clean up the clusterfuck left over by the monkey act that preceded him? Every argument comes back to “Blame Bush” Every Fucking One Of Them.

    Wiserbud: Well thought out and coherent points.
    Douche: “But Bush……

    Fucking Pathetic.

  64. Every argument comes back to “Blame Bush” Every Fucking One Of Them.

    Especially since they are so much more enlightened than we are. One would think they were capable of so much more.

  65. Fucking Pathetic.

    It’s the Guardian, PG. What do you expect? The only thing that elevates the British over the euro-weenie-trash Fench is that the British can make decent beer.

    You need it to make up for their complete lack of cooking skills.

  66. Poor bastards are just as mis-served by their media as we are. Maybe more so.

  67. I meant French, not Fench.

  68. I don’t keep track of English newspapers, but evidently the Guardian is the English version of Pravda?

  69. I think you really meant felch.

  70. Now imagine me reading what I wrote to you in my deep, Barry-White voice, while giving you a massage by candlelight…..

    Talk politics to me baby, talk dirty, dirty politics.

  71. Talk politics to me baby, talk dirty, dirty politics.

    MOM PJM WANTS BILL CLINTON TO BE PRESIDENT AGAIN!!!!!

  72. I like how joining a church is considered “reactionary.”

  73. Wiser, I gave up on those doofi.

    Did they really say that? Joining a church is reactionary?

  74. Joining a church is reactionary?

    And listening to talk radio. They’ll ruin your mind.

  75. Now imagine me reading what I wrote to you in my deep, Barry-White voice, while giving you a massage by candlelight…

    That’s really, really troubling.

  76. <em.That’s really, really troubling.

    Down right scary, if you ask me. Horrifying, even.

  77. And just what the shitcat is the header pic, anyways?

  78. >>>Did they really say that? Joining a church is reactionary?

    Minimize the Power of State Media and Hollywood Elite

    Listen to talk radio, join a church, just don’t take what is printed or in the media as the only truth.

    Nope, nothing reactionary there, where did I pick up this gem? Why,The Beaufort Tea Party site.

  79. Down right scary, if you ask me. Horrifying, even.

    Oooooooooh, yeeeeeeeeeah…….

  80. Now imagine me reading what I wrote to you in my deep, Barry-White voice, while giving you a massage by candlelight…..

    *thud*

  81. *thud*

    works every time……

  82. http://media.causes.com/576542?p_id=92681239

  83. Ok, I nearly died on the highway a bit ago. Trip to the bank (for work) and some dipshit nearly crashed into me. Ass.

    Idiots have forgotten how to drive in the snow. One person has already died on the roads today.

  84. glad you’re safe, Car.

    That’s what I hate about driving in the snow. I know what I’m doing but it’s the other fool who doesn’t that scares me.

  85. Why is PJM poating porn? You dirty girl.

  86. I like that at LEAST three-fourths of teh cars I see in the ditches are SUVs. They speed by you like they’re in some car impervious to their shitty driving skillz.

    The dipshit you almost smacked me (he spun-out just behind me as we merged on an on-ramp and I was stuck behind a truck with no where to speed up to …) was driving a sports car. Those usually have the shittiest handeling in snow.

  87. Header Pic:

    I’ve had my ass eaten out before. And I’ve eaten out other’s asses before. But only metaphorically. That shit is sick and wrong. In that order.

  88. Obama is so fucking stupid.

    let’s take out a busines loan so we can hire new folks.

  89. Is it sharing time?

  90. Obama is so fucking stupid.

    I don’t how smart or stupid he really is, but he definitely has never had any experience in the business world. No business manager would borrow money, especially in this environment, on the hopes they could hire someone that would raise income enough to pay for themselves and the loan (plus interest).

  91. wiser, you will never convert the author of that article.

    Oh, I never expect to convert anyone. I simply try to get them to see reason, at which point they either stop responding or go off the deep end.

    Here, I would have torn them a couple dozen of new assholes for their dumbass remarks. There, I try a different tactic.

    They were merely channeling the attitudes of
    their constituencies.

    Joe really doesn’t understand how the system works, does he?

  92. No business manager would borrow money, especially in this environment, on the hopes they could hire someone that would raise income enough to pay for themselves and the loan (plus interest).

    That’s like borrowing money to buy stocks. And then expecting a bail-out when it all falls apart on ….

    wait a minute here…….

  93. Is it sharing time?

    Sure. You go first. Share with us your deepest desires and secrets. We will protect and cherish them for you.

    HA!

  94. EXACTLY, wiser.

    Scott and Brew, I rescued you from he cesspool.

  95. I have no time for nuance right now, AD. He’s fucking stupid. Book smart, real-world stupid.

    I’m so sick of college educated idiots right now.

    Who don’t know what they don’t know.

  96. *thud*

    works every time……

    I thought you told me ruffies were more effective…

  97. Is it sharing time?

    Sure. You go first. Share with us your deepest desires and secrets. We will protect and cherish them for you.

    Well. Ok. I’ll probably regret this, but this one time … at band camp …

    oops. Work calls. Gotta run.

  98. Sorry, I tried to clean that up, but FAILED.

  99. Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day.

    ‘Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint, and we’re Jewish,’ she asks, ‘Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?

    Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says: ‘No, I don’t think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?’

    ‘Osama Bin Laden,’ she says.

    ‘Why Osama Bin Laden?’ her father asks in shock.

    ‘Well,’ she says, ‘I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.’

    Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. ‘Melissa, that’s the most wonderful thing I have ever heard.’

    And Melissa replied:
    ‘I know, and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker.’

  100. Work calls. Gotta run.

    Tease.

    We’ll just fill in the rest with our “own sweet little imagination”….

  101. Hotspur, I laughed my ass off. I’m going to hell.

  102. Sorry, I tried to clean that up, but FAILED.

    Don’t worry, PattyAnn. You’ll get a Nobel Peace Prize FOR THE EFFORT!!!!

  103. And Melissa replied:
    ‘I know, and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker.’

    And then her father looked on her with even more pride and says:
    “My dear, you’ll make a great president someday.”

  104. Because we haven’t had enough hot chicks lately:

    http://tinyurl.com/kv273j

    Probably NSFW, unless your boss is a lesbian.

    And not one of those bull dyke kind, but more the lipstick “I experimented in college” kind.

  105. http://tinyurl.com/yayokan

  106. Where the hell is everyone?

  107. Where the hell is everyone?

    Cluebatting Rutherford at his place.

  108. xbrad,
    lesbians have never really done it for me. Sure, it is sexy, but I never really understood the appeal.

    I am not really into “woo girls”.

  109. Uni, you’re gay, aren’t you?

  110. xbrad,
    Um, no. I used to be more intrigued by lesbians when I was younger, but living in Vegas kind of cured me of that. Vegas is so sexualized that chicks kissing chicks goes on everywhere. I remember waiting at a stoplight with my wife, looking over at the car next to us, and two good looking girls were just making out in their car. You see that kind of stuff everywhere. Chicks with chicks in stores, library, you name it.

    It has lost its appeal.

    I love women, and I love women who love men even more.

  111. Lost video from the height of the Cold War:

  112. Yeah! I survived the D.C. Beltway! What a piece of shit job they did attempting to clear the roads. Averaged about 45 mph from Fredrick, MD to Quantico, VA. Weather turned to shit so we stopped in Dunn, NC.

    I’m staying in a Holiday Inn Express, so you douchebags need to be prepared for my masterful commenting!

  113. Holiday Inn Express? Don’t they give out cookies in the evening?

  114. Apparently Jackson Browne beat this thread like Daryl Hannah…

  115. Rigor Fucking Mortis

  116. sorry, still having fun with our friends across the pond.\

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2010/feb/07/democrats-tea-party-coffee-claque?showallcomments=true#end-of-comments

    We were just accused of going to “their” site and attempting to “undermine free debate.”

    How actually providing an alternate point of view does that, I’m not sure, but that is some damn fine doublespeak right there.

  117. Glad you made it that far MCPO. It’s been snowing all day here in O HI O.

    http://tinyurl.com/ygdqvv3

  118. I heard on the radio that a guy from New York was arrested for “threatening a police officer”. He posted a comment online in reference to a news story about the police officer stating that he “deserved a bullet between the eyes”.

    How is that a threat?

  119. Wiser,
    I got banned from The Guardian years ago and have never been able to trick their system into letting me back.

    There are, or were, some really funny commenters over there.

  120. Party at MCPO’s house!!!!

    Oh and ……. http://i.imgur.com/YyrsC.gif

  121. I got banned from The Guardian years ago

    What did you do? Did you dare to question Big Brother or something?

  122. Scott – How’s your gut? Learned your lesson about Laura’s Homemade wild mushroom soup?

  123. How is that a threat?

    Because “the police acted stupidily”?

    Honestly, scott, the police tend not to distinquish between “deserves a bullet between the eyes” and “someone should put a bullet between his eyes”. Right or wrong, the nuance of the difference is lost on them.

  124. Wiser,
    It was really stupid. I said something rude, directly insulting another commenter, and they banned me. I can’t remember if they gave me a warning but I think they did.

    They have a very low tolerance for rudeness and the posters are very sensitive and quick to report you. Not all, but you can tell who they are. There are some insanely PC posters, like cult members, who will report you at the drop of a hat.

    some funny posters there, but mostly brainwashed PC bots.

  125. so you douchebags need to be prepared for my masterful commenting

    Does this mean we’ll see more than Scooter updates and Abba videos?

  126. Gut is fine MCPO. I’ll be good as new in a couple of months.

  127. Scott – How’s your gut? Learned your lesson about Laura’s Homemade wild mushroom soup?

    *brandishes broken bottle*

    YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH OLD MAN!!!

  128. Baby love, get out of the way, I was about to stab the old guy.

  129. Lauraw, just disconnect the battery on his power chair and push him down the hill.

  130. I don’t give a shit.

    http://tinyurl.com/ylb4arf

  131. In Re: Header photo

    Hey, who’s the asshole who took one bite out of the chocolate and put it back??!!?

  132. I’m leaving. This POS poat is dead anyways. MCPO must have shown up.

    Drive time.

  133. I made it home! Yea me.

  134. mphpmh?

    dimnt do muffum

  135. Penetration.

  136. oh, regarding car question the other night, trifecta, thermostat, water pump bearing plus a gunked up radiator.

  137. AD it still makes no sense to me.

    “You deserve” is an opinion, not a threat.

  138. Drive time is over. It’s drinking time.

    But I don’t got nuthing.

  139. I gave you all a VD surprise. It has that new poat smell, just after two homeless dudes had butt-sex then vomited in it.

  140. I never go anywhere without a bottle of Jameson.

  141. My wife shared a funny joke with me:

    Two Israelis flew into JFK. When going through customs the officer asked, “Occupation?”, the Israelis replied, “No, just visiting.”.

  142. […] Valentine’s Day Shamelessly stolen from Hotspur over at H2. Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history […]


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS