The Naughty List

Good afternoon, cool kids and xbrad.  I hope you are all having an excellent post-Thanksgiving Monday.

*barf*

I have received 24 emails from people that want to participate in the first annual H2 Secret Santa so I thought I would put up one more email before I move on to matching people up.

I have received emails from the following people that want to play.  If you want to play and your name isn’t on this list, you need to email me again at 88rosetta88 *@* gmail *dot* com.  Alternatively, if you’re on this list and you no longer want to participate, please email me and tell me ASAP.

Americano

Andy

BiW

Car In

compos

Cyn

Dave in Texas

Dick

Eddie Bear

Mare

MCPO

Michael & Cathy

Mrs. Peel

Muslihoon

pajama momma

Pupster

Robert

Romy

Rosetta

sohos

Sox

Tattoo

Vmax

wiserbud

xbrad

Remember the simple rules, dummy:

(1) Keep cost under $20 unless you’re buying for me in which case try to keep it under $1,000.

(2) Keep gifts SFW.

(3) Americano and Mare, mail your gifts to me and I will forward them to your peeps.

(4) Try to mail your gift by December 16th.  I will put up a post on the 23rd and we can all open our gifts together.

(5) Remember to NOT include your name when you mail your gift.

I will do the names tomorrow morning and then email everyone their person and the appropriate address so you have until then to get on or off the list.

Fin.

 

[UPDATE: Rosetta]

HERE‘s a place that sells cheap crap.

HERE‘s a place with gifts under $20.

HERE‘s a place with cheap gadgets.

HERE‘s a place with even more crap for less than $20.

HERE are toys & games on Amazon for less than $20.

You can also not be a lazy POS and go out and find something fun.  In addition to your Targets and your Wal-Marts, if you have a World Market near you, they have a lot of fun candy and other unusual stuff.

 

356 Comments

  1. EL SEGUNDO!!!

  2. Tres Equis

  3. Audi Quattro!

  4. Would you like an apple pie with that?

    LOL!

  5. This is the best post in the history of posts (across the world) because my name is listed.

  6. What’s a “post?”

  7. Rosie is super cool:

  8. Heh:

    http://tinyurl.com/yc2ogpc

  9. Roserbud, check your email.

  10. Hokay, if you say so Tiger.

    http://tinyurl.com/yds9lf5

  11. I guess I should check my gmail more often for these type of things. Rosie- check your gmail, sometime later today, after I email you my email about the secret Santa email.

    Does it really have to be SFW? bummer.

  12. Does it really have to be SFW? bummer.

    Within reason. I just didn’t want anyone opening up a giant dildo in front of their kids or their spouse.

    A small dildo should be fine.

  13. Shit. Gotta run back to the store.

    Where’d I put that receipt.

  14. I’m going to send weird gifts to random Hostages to screw this whole thing up.

  15. A small dildo should be fine.

    speak for yourself

  16. Is a half eaten ham SFW?

  17. Now, are we going to say who sent what after we open them?

  18. Rosie make sure Mesa and I dont get each other please

  19. I’m going to send weird gifts to random Hostages to screw this whole thing up.

    Hahahahahaha. That would be good. Or send 19 weird gifts to one person. Include a dead fish.

  20. speak for yourself

    Here you go, soonpoon.

    http://tinyurl.com/ycydt8c

  21. I hope Tiger Woods tells the press to go screw themselves. The accident was in a gated community, no other person was involved, no alcohol was involved, they are legally under no obligation to say anything else. Why is the FHP getting involved? It’s ridiculous. And costly. She is not saying she was abused. I hope he refuses to say anything.

  22. Rosie make sure Mesa and I dont get each other please

    No duh.

    http://tinyurl.com/yz5nwr2

  23. Hummm
    If one sent one say $20 worth of lottery tickets, I wonder how that would work out.

  24. Ding! Fries are done!

  25. I can already tell, I’m going to want to send a “nice” gift no matter who it is. Crud, I want to be disgustingly crude but I can’t do it through the US postal service.

  26. No duh.

    L to R: SohoS, Rosetta

    http://tinyurl.com/yhfwsr4

  27. hahahahahahaha…..stupid woman, my favorite!

  28. I think everyone could do something nice for $10 and something funny for $10.

    Or something nice for $6, something funny for $6 and something disturbing for $8.

  29. Hey, new guy, I’d love lottery tickets!!!

    Rosetta, would you make sure the new guy gets me?

  30. would they have to send them back to that state to collect forest, forest gump?

  31. A small dildo should be fine.

    speak for yourself

    Just which size would you like?

  32. Something nice for $2, something gross for $4, a snuggie and a slightly used rubber fist.

  33. Would you feel the same way if it turns out Tiger was being unfaithful and Elin beat him with a 3 wood after he came home at 2 AM?

  34. Rosetta, I’m sending my secret santa Puka for a week, punch holes in the box please.

  35. “Would you feel the same way if it turns out Tiger was being unfaithful and Elin beat him with a 3 wood after he came home at 2 AM?”

    HUH? That’s exactly what I think happened.

  36. Here’s a website with a bunch of pieces of shit.

    http://www.mcphee.com/shop/

  37. Rosie is super cool:

    To quote that ultra-chick flick When Harry Meet Sally, “Who is the dog in this scenario?”

  38. This place has some fun stuff too:
    http://www.stupid.com

  39. >> A small dildo should be fine

    Small? Sometimes I think the dildo engineers try to confuse perfectly understandable language needlessly. They could benefit from the Starbucks marketing approach to size obfuscation. Call them “tall, venti, and runscreamingfromtheroom”.

  40. If one of you retards gets a load of rubber dogshit outta Hong Kong…

    It wasn’t me.

  41. Detroit fist.

  42. This looks uncomfortable

    http://tinyurl.com/yfkhdsu

  43. I updated this post with some good websites.

  44. I like Stone Cold Creamery sizes

    Like It™ –
    Love It™ –
    Gotta Have It™ –

  45. Hahahaha!
    Next time the weather concerns you, go outside and throw money at it. See if that makes any difference.
    http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/timblair/index.php/dailytelegraph/comments/cash_for_climate/

  46. Rosetta, I’m sending my secret santa Puka for a week, punch holes in the box please.

    I’ll send him back with mittens and a sock on his head.

  47. dildo engineers

    Just what are the professional qualifications for this job? I can’t say that I have ever seen a posting for this on Monster.com. Where do you get a degree for this? Do they have the three degress of BS (Big Stuffer), MS (Major Stuffer), and PHD (Pushes Harder and Deeper)? And do you have to be color blind to be one?

  48. This looks uncomfortable

    Looks good for hitch-hiking.

  49. An “annoy a tron” hahahahahahahaha

    xbrad’s picture is on the back.

  50. ZOMG!!!! hahahahahaha

    http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Unicorn-Code-Messenger-Bag.html

  51. so, Tiger dropped out of his own charity golf tournament.

  52. “Rosetta, I’m sending my secret santa Puka for a week, punch holes in the box please.”

    Rosetta, add a sign and your shopping for me is done.

    http://tinyurl.com/yl3xsof

  53. “Rosetta, add a sign and your shopping for me is done.”

    hahahahahahahaha

    Ah, Puppers, I love that video.

  54. “so, Tiger dropped out of his own charity golf tournament.”

    That’s not good. I think he’s got lots of splaining to do at home.

  55. Hahahahahahaha. Whack-a-Kitteh!

  56. “HUH? That’s exactly what I think happened.”

    OH. Nevermind.

    L to R

    Pupster, Mare

    http://tinyurl.com/ye4wqql

  57. We also built Ringworld.

  58. Rosetta, please give me PJM as a secret Santa, because I really enjoy navel lint — just imagine what $20 would buy!

    http://tinyurl.com/yaefqqx

  59. I could give a flat-flying fuck whether Elin beat the shit out of Tiger or if Tiger is banging some siliconed-up hostess. We got the Healthcare Bill in the Senate, Crap & Tax on the horizon, a war in Afghanistan AND San Fran Nan talking about another stimulus bill.

    Tiger’s accident/domestic situation
    is something I just don’t care about.

  60. Seriously, Pupster, don’t you think that’s what happened? What I think is weird is the FHP getting involved. Domestic dispute. She’s not pressing charges. Either is he. He needs to stay quiet. So does she.

  61. I agree, MCPO. FHP has got more important things to do, like give regular guys tickets for going 10 miles over the limit on the turnpike.

  62. The Dildo Engineers have a cool avatar.

    Cuffy, did you see my link to the eigenharp yesterday?

  63. “I could give a flat-flying fuck”

    Don’t do that MCPO, it’s bad for your back and knees.

  64. Yeah, I think that’s what happened. I thought you were saying “Leave Tiger ALONE!” with a yellow blanket over your head.

  65. Mare and Pup are so cute

    http://tinyurl.com/36grsb

  66. MCPO thank you so much for the card! xoxox

  67. Sohita – MWAH!

  68. Hey Cuffy, what’s your next project?

    http://tinyurl.com/yzqsgel

  69. >> The Dildo Engineers have a cool avatar.

    We designed that too.

    You can find it on some of our larger models.

  70. “Mare and Pup are so cute”

    ahhahahahahah…..Awesome pic. That dog looks like the boss.

  71. So, Secret Santa is open to lurkers.

    I’m a little butthurt that Chrisp didn’t sign up.

  72. “Leave Tiger ALONE!”

    Naw, just loving it when the press doesn’t get what they want.

  73. where did chrispy go? Did he ever return or did he shoot his wad on his first hostage experience?

  74. We also built Ringworld.

    Why? To be a cock-ring for the new Super Massive Galaxticon Dildo? (Complete with two black holes as attached testicles to give it that stellar feel)

  75. One of the hostage wimmin has been taking entirely too much pipe.

    http://tinyurl.com/yh34hms

  76. I usedtocould do that when I was a teenager.

    I have to leave for school UGH! I am going to miss most of the Saints game tonight I am very sad. See yall later

  77. Hey Cuffy, what’s your next project?

    http://tinyurl.com/yzqsgel

    You don’t know how close that video is to reality.

    Yes, I am a massive, bald black dude with anger management issues.

  78. where did chrispy go?

    Was that a drive-by commenter? I was off-net for the past week (intentionally) and missed it…..

  79. I am going to miss most of the Saints game tonight

    That’s okay – we don’t want you to get all depressed watching it….

  80. GO SAINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  81. GO SAINTS

    Yup. Go Home. Go cry to daddy. Go call someone who gives a damn. Just stop posing as winners….. :-)

  82. Mare takes Pupster for a brisk walk:

  83. Mare takes Pupster for a brisk walk

    Man, that dog looks pissed. I bet its a pleasure to live with when she gets home. OTH, I bet she doesn’t have a problem with perverts pinching her ass as she is out tooling around in those tight shorts.

  84. Agile Dog????

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c6ZpoO54l8

  85. “Mare takes Pupster for a brisk walk:”

    LOL

  86. Agile Dog????

    I think I know that dog! (Actually, no, but I know several just like it.)

  87. Alright – later, folks. I have to drive now.

    If the Pats really cream the Saints, I might be back on later.

  88. Great fun! I get to take mom to another doctor’s appointment today!!!11

    I wouldn’t mind, but none of them are treating her symptoms (this is the second eyedoctor, the first one fucked up her cataract surgery). They poke and prod, but accomplish nothing.

    At least when Sohohohohs goes to the doc, they put metal in, or take metal out of her.

  89. That’s a shame, xbrad. Is she in pain? Or is it just a matter of poor vision? (I don’t think one is less important than the other).

  90. She’s in a great deal of pain (which makes her quite cranky, which makes me miserable) and she suffers from poor vision, and the poor vision makes her somewhat unsteady on her feet which scares me.

  91. The one good thing about visiting the hospital there are some really hot nurses.

  92. F, of all them times Dad was in the hospital, I think he had a decent looking nurse only once or twice. I was quite disappointed. Most of them could grow a mustache faster than me.

  93. Heh
    Yesterday Carla was smoking hot Puerto Rican girl, and today Chris, looks like Mare with blond hair. Her assistant, (I cannot recall her name) while young, was very very nice too.
    There are some bad ones, but so far none are his nurses.

  94. Way to kill it, Forrester.

    Fuckin’ lesbian.

  95. I think you killed it!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1flVlL4Mf8k

  96. Deader than a doornail.

  97. So Forrestirer, how is your non-identified relative doing in the hospital? Good? Not so Good? Yes, yes, I know you get to see pretty nurses :-)

  98. Surprisingly good Cyn, thank you.

  99. Dinner tonight: provolone and ham on toasty sourdough

  100. L to R: Rosetta, MCPO

    http://tinyurl.com/ycgcfnd

  101. Stop the presses! I just updated my blog!

  102. You have a blog?

  103. You have a blog?

    Did I say “blog”? I meant “frog.” I updated my frog: http://tinyurl.com/58zzq8

  104. You updated your flog?

  105. I updated my frog: http://tinyurl.com/58zzq8

    Hahahahaha.

    http://tinyurl.com/yed68pp

  106. WTF is this thing? Is this real or is it a photoshop?

    http://tinyurl.com/yzdxz46

    TATTOO!!!!…..

  107. Rosie, that looks like a takin, let me double check.

  108. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takin

  109. WTF is this thing?

    That’s a certain somebody’s third cousin, PoonFace McGhee.

  110. It’s time to punch out, prepare a cocktail and get ready to watch the Saints lose their first.

    http://tinyurl.com/ydw7b9j

  111. Tattoo is teh SMARTEH!!!!

    I’ve never seen nor heard of a “takin” in all my life. I hope he will play nicely with WTFFace Jenkins.

    Wiki said that a takin is a is a goat-antelope. Hahahahahahaha.

    Goatelope.

  112. Takin to the Limit

  113. It?

    What the fuck is this ‘it’ shit?

  114. goatselope

  115. Is the alphabet in the order that it is just because of a fucking nursery rhyme?

  116. THANKS mesa for friending me, like, a MONTH after I sent it.

    I feel SO fucking special.

  117. Speaking of goats…. http://www.flickr.com/photos/52257963@N00/1045755325/

  118. Spider goat, spider goat. Does whatever a spider goat does.

  119. Awww Car in, don’t feel bad. Mesa isn’t really into chicks.

    Did I show you the gif of the goose I had for Thanksgiving?

    http://tinyurl.com/yex4phv

  120. Pupster, you look like you liked that…

  121. That goat picture is scary. And cool, but mostly scary.

  122. I was somewhat surprised to see an actual goat.

    SCOTT GROSSING ME OUT FAIL!!!!!

  123. I’m finally home. Sort of. I’m in the vicinity of what will soon be home.

    Fuck me, 9 hours?! I thought it was only 5 more.

  124. I wonder how often those things fall to their death?

  125. And hello from the Palmetto State.

  126. You’re moving? When did this come up?

  127. LOL I invited my 15 year old niece to be my friend on facebook, and she replied “I’d love to Uncle Geoff, but I don’t want you to see how much I swear.”

  128. Welcome almost home, Jewstin.

  129. A couple of months ago when I started to get a little more scarce around here. I’m moving to . . . I don’t know where yet. Somewhere in South Carolina. I need to establish residence. I’m in Columbia now.

  130. Uh, is this because of pending indictments? A boyfriend? Job?

  131. ‘Sup, gheytards?

  132. I’m moving to . . . I don’t know where yet. Somewhere in South Carolina. I need to establish residence.

    MOM!!! JEWSTIN’S RUNNING FOR CONGRESS AGAIN!!!

  133. Jewstin – How long before you can start getting food stamps?

  134. Will everyone add me as a friend on ChimpTwitchFaceGoatSpaceKittenMittens?

    Thank you in advance nice people.

  135. Sort of a new job. My consulting tanked and I had to give my house to the bank. Then I realized I was bored with my career so I’m going to be a diesel technician when I grow up. I need residence for tuition purposes.

  136. Why is Jew running from the law?

  137. Pupster, have you seen that wonderful gif of the older dog pushing the younger dog to the side of the pool then goes to the steps, gets out and pulls, by the scruff, the younger, dumber dog out of the pool?

    I haven’t been able to figure out how to steal it from the site I saw it on.

  138. Sorry about your house Jewstin. Did you lose a life savings?

  139. I need residence for tuition welfare purposes.

    FTFY

  140. Ouch, Jewstin.

    And fuck you for not letting us know you were in the hurt locker.

    I wouldn’t have been able to do anything for you, but I could have commiserated and Wiser would have been there for you in a more, uh, corporeal manner.

  141. What’s the deal with Jewstin? How can he just … MOVE and not tell us WTF is up?

    You know, we give you leeway, cause you’re gay and we pretend to be accepting, but this is unacceptable.

  142. Well, fuck. Sorry.

    I would have given you a shirt.

  143. Pupster, have you seen that wonderful gif of the older dog pushing the younger dog to the side of the pool then goes to the steps, gets out and pulls, by the scruff, the younger, dumber dog out of the pool?

    STFU.

  144. Christmas is coming:

    http://tinyurl.com/ybahqfc

  145. Did you lose a life savings?

    I came very close before I finally gave up and walked away. I only lost most of a life savings. I managed to save enough to start again.

    I miss my house though. That hurt.

  146. Wow! That’s a lot going on. Jew. I’ll be sending you good vibes to land on your feet soon.

    Do you at least know some people that you can stay with until you can get enough dough to get on your feet?

  147. Why South Carolina Jew?
    You working with Sox?

  148. Jewstin – Tough break. It is OK to make fun of you now, right?

  149. ‘Sup, twits?

  150. Hey, Rosetta:

    http://tinyurl.com/mrd96y

  151. Sean – Could you smell the goats on this thread? Is that what attracted you?

  152. “STFU.”

    LOL

  153. I thought it was an alpaca.

  154. Buwahahahahah!
    Who updated the header? That is great!!!!111eek!

  155. Sean, PJM said earlier that she wanted to love you or make love to you or something like that.

  156. How to keep xbrad busy for 20 minutes…http://www.totalprosports.com/ncaa/25-amazing-flexible-female-gymnasts/

  157. enough dough to get on your feet?

    I salvaged enough savings to keep myself going at least for a few months. I’ll be fine. I’ve been very fortunate in my life, I guess it was about time I got a little kick in the balls.

    The good news is I have a plan, and I’m excited about it. I liked being a computer professional, but it’s all I’ve done for twelve years. I can’t wait to start something new.

  158. “Sean – Could you smell the goats on this thread? Is that what attracted you?”

    hahahahahahahahah

  159. “The good news is I have a plan, and I’m excited about it. I liked being a computer professional, but it’s all I’ve done for twelve years. I can’t wait to start something new.”

    Yeah, Jewstin!!

  160. Scott – That is just weird!

  161. Sean, PJM said earlier that she wanted to love you or make love to you or something like that.

    B-but I can’t afford child support!

  162. Bring your jokes, MCPO. They’re so old, they’re new again.

  163. Jewstin – Best of luck!

  164. Great stuff Jewston. Go get ’em.

  165. Good evening,
    I was catching up on last nights comments and saw someone posting as ‘ChrisP’! WTF, I wondered, and then read the post, looked at the avatard and realized that it was ME!
    Shit.
    I must now apologize for posting drunk , angry, and under the influence of several meds with admonitions of “Do not take with alcohol.
    I was pretty upset by the killings of those young folks and the repercussions on their families. Started drinking early and, well, we saw the result.
    Sorry, I am. It won’t happen again.
    Now, back under my rock to drool on myself.
    And, STFU!

    ChrisP

  166. and tell me if there is any money in diesel mechanics.

  167. Way to fuck up a link, Scott.

    brb

  168. Who wants to hear about my Lincoln-pig’s pathology results?

    I’m going to tell ya’ll anyway. He had a ‘mammary tumor cystic adenocarcinoma’.

    Yes, it was a cancer. The report’s results tells the vet that she got all of it…the cells did not extend out to the perimeter..all those were normal cells. BUT, it is guarded in that it could come back. Hopefully I have another year or two or three with my little bug-eyed sweetie.

  169. Jewstin’s mortgage:

    http://tinyurl.com/ygg2zkj

  170. ChrisP – Thanks for the apology. Stand-up move.

  171. Great news, porknbsbsbsbsbs!

  172. sean, after that last poat, I’d lay low for a while.

  173. forrester, yes. If Jewstin hurries he can have about $3000 worth of repair work that I need done.

  174. ChrisP, from your initial *outing* of yourself in your post, it’s obvious you are Hostage material. Quit lurking and join in so you don’t miss when xbrad links things that are important to you.

    Justin, I wish I could help you, but I’m not in a position to either. I will pray for you that you find what you need.

    Sean, are you and PJM gonna talk?

  175. Welcome back, ChrisP.

  176. Chrisp, apology accepted.

    But go savor Eddie’s rant. ’twas a thing of beauty.

  177. Cuffy the anti-Tweetite … Treacher just tweeted your hurricane poat.

    Oh, and hi, Hostages. Looking forward to catching up with the stupid shit you said above when I get off this damned con call.

  178. The next time I go through St. Louis I’m going plan ahead so I can have a beer with Eddie and throw a shirt on Rosetta’s front yard.

  179. Scott, thanks for the link, but this is much hotter, AND IT’S MORON APPROVED!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/yja62ou

  180. Pupster has a new friend http://www.animalliberationfront.com/News/AnimalPhotos/Animals_31-40/dog_dolphin.jpg

  181. ChrisP, nobody around here comments drunk. This is a family blog, for fuck’s sake.

  182. Mesa – A little sparse with the rub.

  183. The next time I go through St. Louis I’m going plan ahead so I can have a beer with Eddie, throw a shirt on Rosetta’s front yard, and eat a beasn-made Santa critter cake ’cause they are soooo cute.

    FTFY

  184. Who updated the header? That is great!!!!111eek!

    That be me.

    Good of you to apologize, ChrisP. It was deserved and good on you for saying so. And I agree with PA…make your presence known more often.

  185. Sean, are you and PJM gonna talk?

    I dunno. I seem to have misplaced my full-body condom.

  186. Forrester, there is good money in diesel mechanicking. Plus a shortage of mechanics. I can tinker with my truck, it’s a Cummins, but I need to learn a little more than that if I want to make money at it.

    And thanks Patty Ann and everybody else. I knew you would have kind thoughts, but I have this hubris problem.

  187. I feel SO fucking special.

    Yup.

    I don’t check that one as much as GG.

  188. Ahh,
    Mesa is cooking. Am I invited mesa?

    Thanks for pole vault girl X
    Fantastic!

    And Dolphin and dogs was nice Scott

  189. Rub rub.

  190. ChrisP, nobody around here comments drunk. This is a family blog, for fuck’s sake.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    + 49 Nobel Peace Prizes and one-hour “massage” from Caster Semenya.

  191. Sure Vmax, if you can get here by tomorrow at six.

    Where you been?

  192. So long as you make it, Beasn. I’ll eat some, and maybe even pretend to like it.

  193. “throw a shirt on Rosetta’s front yard.”

    Love it.

  194. Awwww
    Nice pic Beasn

  195. Hahahaha

    Liberal is an anagram of braille. Appropriate because they appear unable to see or read about the climate science scandals.—Tim Ball

    http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/17364

  196. Mesa – I usually put mine in the fridge for 12-24 hrs and then give it more rub before I start smoking it. Same deal?

  197. Scott, thanks for the link, but this is much hotter, AND IT’S MORON APPROVED!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/yja62ou

    Note where she’s currently going to skool. GO BEARS!!!!!!

  198. This blog ain’t so tough!

  199. Oh, and good luck, Jewstin.

  200. Sean, I was pretty proud of myself for not going down to Newport to stalk her back in her HS days.

    Right up until I ran into her at the HS right by my house.

  201. I totally missed ChrisP’s nuclear meltdown last night — linky for context?

  202. linky for context?

    Fuck you! Do I look like your fucking secretary?

  203. Hiding Mesa,
    Good By.

  204. Alright. Then how about telling me which fucking poat….and I’ll scroll thru myself.

  205. Rosie, here’s the skinny behind those “independent” confirmations of the CRUminals’ temperature studies: http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/11/30/pielke-senior-revkin-perpetuates-a-myth-about-surface-temperature-record/

  206. actually, you do

  207. Thanks for the heads-up on Treacher’s tweet, Andy. Good thing I monetized my blog…

  208. here you are cuffster
    https://thehostages.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/let-me-tell-you-why-you-suck/#comment-184231

  209. I’ve had about enough of this whining pussy of an administration. From an article in New York Magazine:

    “Think about what we were handed,” says White House senior adviser and First Friend Valerie Jarrett. “Two wars. A global economic meltdown. The largest deficit in the nation’s history. A health-care crisis. A public-education crisis. An energy crisis. And a crisis in how we’ve been perceived around the world.” Jarrett sighs. “It is what it is.”

    (A) OBAMA RAN FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DUNCE!!!

    Or was the smartest man in the world unaware of what faced him as President? I will assume you all knew these things while you were running for President and that you thought you had the answers to solve these crises. If that’s the case then SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT WHAT YOU INHERITED, FUCKING CRYBABIES!!!!

    (B) Exactly on whose watch do you think the largest deficit in this nation’s history happened, idiot?

    IDIOTS!!!

  210. Same deal?

    Yup, in the fridge now. Will smoke them tomorrow. Don’t know if Ill add more rub, though. I’m using mesquite and it will be pretty strong.

  211. ROsie – Those liberal rags are like crack to you, aren’t they?

  212. Hey, Rosetta-tard, you didn’t favor me with a reply to my email. Didja geddit?

  213. Rosie, it’s not like he’s having to fight a Republican controlled congress either.

  214. Valerie Jarrett is a power whore. Only a brain-dead liberal would bother listening to her drivel.

  215. “Rosie, it’s not like he’s having to fight a Republican controlled congress either.”

    A point often overlooked by the mdia.

  216. Rosie – Those liberal rags are like crack to you, aren’t they?

    I read all sorts of different shit but occasionally I’ll read something like that that makes me want to set people on fire.

    Hey, Rosetta-tard, you didn’t favor me with a reply to my email. Didja geddit?

    Haven’t checked it tonight. I will check it and let you know one way or the other.

    Rosie, it’s not like he’s having to fight a Republican controlled congress either.

    That simple truth continues to escape too many dumbfucks on the left.

  217. “I will assume you all knew these things while you were running for President and that you thought you had the answers to solve these crises.”

    That is actually the crux of the problem. They love to be in charge, they love the power, they love the money, but real, serious leadership is beyond their abilities. A real leader talks about the future.

  218. (A) OBAMA RAN FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DUNCE!!!

    Yeah, but he initially didn’t think he’d get it. He just ran to boost his name and maybe raise some cash, and then people started blowing smoke up his ass about how wonderful he was. Once he started winning primaries, there was no turning back.

    And now, we’re stuck with him.

  219. Thank you, forrester.

    His OUTRAGE is not as outrageous now that I know he was drunk-commenting. Kinda loses its punch when you read it knowing “hey, some angry drunk guy wrote that.” Meh.

  220. Hotspur, I did not get your email. Try again, jackass.

    88rosetta88 *@* gmail *dot* com

  221. Be sure to keep scrolling down for eddie’s rant, Cuffster.

  222. Hey!! Who likes indians?!?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oor8fvAMUIE

  223. It’s Valerie’s job to whine about circumstances so Obama can continue to implement his agenda, which is pretty much going as planned, except for the perception of being a giant pussy. I don’t think he bargained for that one.

  224. A global economic meltdown. The largest deficit in the nation’s history. A health-care crisis. A public-education crisis. An energy crisis. And a crisis in how we’ve been perceived around the world.” Jarrett sighs. “It is what it is.”

    (C) A crisiseses either caused by or made up by you leftist shits. Especially the education crisis. That right there torques my blood pressure to ‘glass ceiling’ meltdown.

  225. Heh!

    http://tinyurl.com/yd6gybc

  226. something like that that makes me want to set people on fire.

    When can we, huh?

  227. It just irritates me that the entire “look what we inherited” whine is nonsense because they knew all that shit when they ran for the fucking job.

    I would call them children but that’s an insult to children.

  228. Also, Jewstin, sorry to hear about your house and the job thing. Man, 2009 has been one suck-ass year for too many decent people. You’re takin it like a man though and fightin on, good on you.

  229. but real, serious leadership is beyond their abilities.

    I imagine there are leaders amongst the liberals. Their real problem is that they have pie-eyed solutions that can’t possibly work. More money and more government are not solutions to anything the government might be expected to do.

    I actually cringe every time I hear somebody say ‘There ought to be a law.’ If there ought to be a law, it ought to be against making new laws. We have enough as it is.

  230. I saw a column a week or two ago (I forget who wrote it) that basically said that BHO will probably still be running against Bush in 2012.

  231. Eddie’s response to ChrisP made it all worthwhile, indeed. {sniff} I remember when Eddie was as innocent as a motherfucking choirboy.

  232. I saw a column a week or two ago (I forget who wrote it) that basically said that BHO will probably still be running against Bush in 2012.

    He’ll lose.

  233. In my 20’s I said there ought to be a law often
    in my 40’s I have said WTF? there are too many stupid laws!!!!

  234. Victims emote over good intentions.

    We capitalized on that theme in our Spring collection this year.

  235. Yes ChrisP
    Apology accepted
    Comment away.

  236. I’m hitting the sack early tonight.

    You douche bags try not to break shit while I’m gone.

  237. Shut. Your. Whore. Mouth. Forrester.

  238. Huh?
    X?

  239. *breaks shit

  240. Shut. Your. Mouth. Whore.

  241. Oh you disagree with the ChrisP thing?

    Fine

    Note accepted.

  242. Whore. Shut. Your. Mouth.

  243. Eddie The Bear says:
    November 29, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    This rates a pinned sort of place on this site.

  244. Good: http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/abaldwin/2009/11/30/climategate-good-news-world-a-crisis-of-faith-is-ended/

    And watch the video. Why are we saddled with douches like Harry Reid, Barney Frank, etc. but Michael Crichton has to go and fucking die on us?

  245. Just talking trash, F.

    On a more serious note, why do I have to wait till Tuesday for the season finale of Sons of Anarchy? I don’t feel like waiting.

  246. Eddie, I just your rant. Dude, that was awesome. I’m thinking of pissing you off myself just so I can read another one.

    What is you mother’s name?

  247. *gathers kindling, M80s, some nails and a coffee can*

    Night Rosetta. Don’t worry bout nuthin

  248. He doesn’t have a mother, Michael. He just uses yours.

  249. Mesa- http://tinyurl.com/ydz73zx

  250. I imagine there are leaders amongst the liberals. Their real problem is that they have pie-eyed solutions that can’t possibly work.

    The problem is that it isn’t ‘pie-eyed’. What they want and are doing is malevolent, Jewstin. They are commies.

    I actually cringe every time I hear somebody say ‘There ought to be a law.’ If there ought to be a law, it ought to be against making new laws. We have enough as it is.

    I got into an argument with my sister this evening. She says that ‘they’ should cap CEO pay. I say it is none of anyone’s business what a company wants to pay their employees. Besides, don’t stockholders and such approve their pay packets? She says, ‘ but when they run the company into the ground…’, I say, ‘It is their business to ruin their companies, not hers.’ Yeah, it sucks, but good companies will not do stupid things to put themselves out of work.

    Meh. Then we got into it over social security. I say it is a ponzi scheme…she says, ‘It isn’t a ponzi scheme, beasnra, you need a third party in order for it to be a ponzi scheme.’

    Meh.

  251. “Hotspur, I did not get your email. Try again, jackass.

    88rosetta88 *@* gmail *dot* com”

    Well, fer crisakes, who knew I had to put 88 in twice.

    Why do you have to make it so fucking difficult?

  252. Eddie, I just your rant.

    Teehee — Holy-not-having-the-blog-keys-to-correct-one’s-own-comment, Bat Man!

  253. I’m thinking of pissing you off myself just so I can read another one.

    Just wait ’til he finds out you stole his gutters.

  254. Beasn, did you explain to her that she’s the third party?

  255. Funny you should mention gutters. We just had a guy out today to work on ours.

  256. Comment by Rosetta the Daddy on November 30, 2009 9:22 pm
    I’ve had about enough of this whining pussy of an administration.

    I bet that damned Andrew Johnson is kicking himself in the ass about right now for not getting himself a Valerie Jarrett type. He might have avoided that whole impeachment mess.

  257. ‘It isn’t a ponzi scheme, beasnra, you need a third party in order for it to be a ponzi scheme.’

    What the fuck?

    Madoff: Government
    Grandma: Early “investor” that got all their money out and then some
    Me: Current “investor” left holding the bag

  258. That’s pretty much what I said, Andy.

    So STFU.

  259. apology accepted, Scott.

  260. Andy:

    I don’t know that even the “grandmas” are getting their money out. My dad’s 75, paid in all of his adult life, and gets a beautiful $800 a month out of SS these days. Admittedly he was a self-employed farmer who was broke more years than what he made money, but $800? Had he and my mom not invested the money they inherited from their parents somewhere outside of agriculture they’d be living on that $800 plus whatever us four kids could kick in to help them out. In a ponzi scheme there are a few third party winners. Nobody wins in the SS game that I can see.

  261. Eddie,
    I stole your gutters! I only got $10 from the recycle place. Your gutters suck! Try to replace then with higher quality gutters for me to steal next time!
    And, STFU!

    ChrisP

  262. Maybe great-grandma, then. The first recipients got out way, way more than they paid in. At some point it hit breakeven.

    We’re the ankle-grab generation that’s gets to pay in $$$ and take out goatse.

  263. The problem is that it isn’t ‘pie-eyed’.

    Obama is pie-eyed. He a mindless git, witlessly believing in the liberal platform without a single independent thought in his head. And even if it is communism, it’s still pie-eyed. It’s some sort of utopian existence that completely ignores human nature and the human condition.

    I guess ignorance can be malevolent if its willful, but I’m not confident the libs in charge aren’t that fucking stupid. It’s possibly not willful.

  264. The first recipients got out way, way more than they paid in

    Not that much. Don’t forget that the SS age of 65 was chosen because that was the expected median lifespan.

  265. Rosie, you might want to remind Dick about the SFW part. He’s old and might not have read that so clearly.

    Just sayin’, s’all.

  266. Chris: $10? You were robbed!

  267. Batman doesn’t like heights.

  268. So I found some fun gifts this weekend for this disaster in waitng. I also went to lunch with a democrat freind today who was paying with her new Blackberry. “I’m still teaching myself to use it.” she said as she tapped away on the keys.

    I replied that it couldn’t be that hard.

    She looked up at me and asked me why I said that. I looked into her eyes and said “Well, if Barack Obama can use one…”

    She laughed and said “I’m a dyed in the wool democrat, remember.” I responded “Got buyer’s remorse yet?”

    It was a fun lunch. She’s always has a sense of humor about being wrong.

  269. Jewstin, a couple of things come to mind.

    First, Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

    However, with respect to the leftist scum that seek to control our lives, I don’t believe stupidity is adequate. Enter C.S. Lewis to explain pure malevolence wrapped in Hope and Change:

    Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

  270. We had a lurker go all apeshit and I missed it? Damn.

    You guys have all the fun.

  271. oh, and speaking of gutters/downspouts, and all that shit, I called three separate contractors, and none of the shitbuglers have stopped by yet. and one of them is a guy who goes to my dad’s church and owns a company that does this sort of stuff. And what really sucks balls is that a few weeks ago, the guy was dropping hints at the parish council meeting that he really was hurting and needed work. But did he stop by yet? Fuck and no. And since this guy knows my dad, I was hoping to have him work on a few other things around the house to get it to a marketable condition.

    So, I called three more this evening. We’ll see. So far, the jury rigged downspouts I set up, thanks to the ones I bought from Lowe’s, are holding up. But my reservoir of decency and good will is running close to the “FUCK OFF WITH A RABID HAMSTER DOUSED WITH AIDS” level, so this shit better get resolved, and get resolved really fucking soon.

    And fuck all of these people who say that the economy sucks and want to go to work, yet fucking sit on their lazy fucking asses doing nothing when work is available. Fuck them with Obama’s spendulus bill. You lazy fuckabouts have had your fucking opportunity to earn a fucking paycheck, but you don’t do jackdiddlyfuckingdingdong about it.

    So quit your pussytubing, get off your fucking lazy welfare scamming asses, get to work, and FIX MY FUCKING DOWNSPOUTS, Admirals Of The Anal Explorers!

  272. Quit spending time with your “family” BiW and you won’t have these problems.

  273. “It was a fun lunch. She’s always has a sense of humor about being wrong.

    Good for you, BiW. My friends just say “George Bush!”

  274. http://doubleplusundead.mee.nu/hey_52_hows_fail_taste

    BiW, have her read this

  275. BIW,
    Yeah, it was me.
    Sorry about that. Did you ever notice that when you have to renew your concealed weapons permit, you have to go to ‘Big Pink’ and leave your gun in the car? In that neighborhood? When you return, you’re lucky to find your car, let alone any of it’s contents. The ‘renta cops’ at the County City building are humor impaired.

    Such is life in WA…

    ChrisP (SE of Graham, WA)

  276. Quit spending time with your “family” BiW and you won’t have these problems.

    You’re just jealous because I don’t have to worry about open flames and sharp objects around the people I spend time with.

  277. Yay1!!

    The crap tree is up!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/y8atm2k

  278. Fuck them with Obama’s spendulus bill.

    +10 style points for the slow build on this rant.

  279. Batman doesn’t like heights.

    True enough, Scott. Ladders make me nervous. But completely apart from that, I’ve spent plenty of time on ladders cleaning outf gutters in my time, and it’s just generally not a fun job. Plus, there are a lot of good folks around here who are anxious for any work they can get.

    This guy named Trey is a very nice young man who did a fine job — cleaned the gutters (many crapped up by the cyprus tree), fixed/replaced gutter guard as needed, fixed the slope of gutters that were off, blew off the metal patio roof that has gotten crapped up by the live oak tree, and trimmed back tree limbs that were too close to the roof.

    All for $275, parts included. It’s one of those jobs that just isn’t worth doing myself any more.

  280. I have no demo friends. I have one demo co-worker and we avoid talking politics these days as he’s pretty sure I’m a war-criminal and I’m equally sure he’s a traitor.

    But his rationale on taxation and govt spending goes something like this: We’re gonna pay taxes anyways regardless of which party is in power. We might as well vote for the guys who are promising us free shit.

    Somehow I think the Republican party has helped him arrive at this not totally wrongheaded conclusion.

  281. Oh look! I found this new photo of Valerie Jarrett!

    http://tinyurl.com/ydy3qjt

  282. BIW,
    Yeah, it was me.
    Sorry about that. Did you ever notice that when you have to renew your concealed weapons permit, you have to go to ‘Big Pink’ and leave your gun in the car? In that neighborhood? When you return, you’re lucky to find your car, let alone any of it’s contents. The ‘renta cops’ at the County City building are humor impaired.

    Such is life in WA…

    ChrisP (SE of Graham, WA)

    Actually, I never have been too twisted up about the county-city building. Having grown up in the Flint area in the 1980s and having spent a fair amount of time in Detroit, I have yet to see a neighborhood in Tacoma or Seattle that worries me. In fact, when I was sworn in at the County City Building in 2002, one of our group came late. She complained that she got lost and had to park “in the hood.” I couldn’t quit laughing.

    And I’m SW of Graham.

  283. Driving Miss MCPO — http://i.imgur.com/4AYq2.jpg

  284. Oh, and I don’t get searched at the County-City building. I have a courthouse ID.

  285. Bite me Dildo Engineers
    Until you can make a Dyson sphere you are nothing

  286. Mesa – Can’t be me. . . doesn’t have a drink in his hand!

  287. Check it out — http://rotateme.org/?u=https://thehostages.wordpress.com/

  288. I drug my sorry ass out of bed to say something on fuc_ing atlantic time. But I forgot what the hell I was gonna say

  289. Bottom line to my sister, gubmint needs to get the hell out of things they have no business or Constitutional authority to be in. There are private charities and the like to help those in need. But she likes herself some gubmint cheese cause since she pays taxes, she is entitled to any and all benefits…not to mention, like my brother, owes me some money.

  290. BIW,
    Interesting. I went to St. Joes hospital for a heart check. As I was riding up in the elevator, the other occupants noticed the helmet (motorbike) in my hand and inquired; Did you park your bike on the street? Well sure, it’s right in front of the hospital. Do you really expect it to be there when you come out of here?
    Then I started getting anxious. These were employees and should know the area.
    When I was done, the bike was still there and unmolested, but then what do I know? I live in the sticks and seldom go to ‘the city”. It just made me a little uncomfortable.

    Cheers!
    ChrisP

  291. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyson_sphere
    oops

  292. I thought I was in Eastern time two days ago. Why is Central so fucking big? I hate the Central time zone.

  293. What kind of bike do you ride Chris?
    I have a Triumph Speed Triple.

  294. I get it Michael.

  295. Cheers = Britt?

  296. I wouldn’t sweat it, ChrisP. That neighborhood got a lot better in the last five years when they put in all those condos and townhouses on Tacoma Ave. But you’re right, it ain’t Kapowsin or Orting.

  297. Oh, great, now we’re a fucking real estate blog.

    Did you wanna toss in some free subscriptions to Northwest Living as well?

  298. you think central is big Jew try Atlantic!

  299. Xbrad, I can come up with some Better Homes and Gardens. We should have an auction.

  300. Bacon!!!!!!!!!11111yes1111!!
    http://www.bakonvodka.com/

  301. To Dyson, an old 1993 Ducati 900SS.
    To BIW, yes the hilltop is orders of magnitude better than it was ten/twenty years ago. I actually live on the Orting Kapowsin Highway! How prescient of you to grock that.
    The pace of life out here is much more casual than TheComa, and butt loads better than SanFran or LA. I used to do many road-trips to those places and Houston. The pace of life was teh suck.

    ChrisP

  302. Bakon Mary

    • 1 oz. to 1½ oz. Bakon Vodka in a Highball glass filled with ice.
    • Fill glass with tomato juice
    • 1 dash celery salt
    • 1 dash ground black pepper
    • 1 dash Tabasco
    • 2-4 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
    • 1/8 tsp. horseradish (pure, never creamed)
    • Dash of lemon or lime juice

    Garnish with a celery stalk; a skewer of olives, pickles, carrots, mushrooms, or other vegetables; or even meat or shrimp (bacon, salami, shrimp, etc.) and cheese. Pickled asparagus spears or pickled beans are also great as a garnish.

  303. Ducks are fine.
    I wanted a 919.

  304. grock

    Heinlein?

  305. Bakon Oyster Shooter

    • 1 ½oz. Bakon Vodka
    • 1 fresh, raw oyster
    • Dash Tobasco Sauce

    Combine in a shot glass. Garnish with lime wedge.

  306. Oh please Dyson, you hack. You could collect and crush all the matter in this system to build your bucket and it would be no thicker than a Coors can at a radius of 93 million miles.

    Grow up. Rings are where it’s at dude.

  307. Or a 999
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ducati_999

  308. Bite me Dildo
    Rings suck teh balls

  309. http://www.djmick.co.uk/really/chocolate-porsche-carrera-pictures/
    Scandys win!

  310. You were in the Bohr camp weren’t you?

    You’d have been better off making vacuum cleaners.

  311. I actually live on the Orting Kapowsin Highway! How prescient of you to grock that.

    SE of Graham doesn’t leave many choices.

  312. crispy apology accepted the whole first year I commented here I was wasted

  313. I love the crap tree.

  314. Let’s see…we got the Dildo Engineers and Dyson Sphere…all we need is a Flying Butress and a Rube Goldberg, and our transmogrification to a geek blahg will be complete.

    *looks for tape for bridge of reading glasses*

  315. WHO DAT AGILE DOG!?!?!?

    BITE ME!!!!!!!!!!

  316. What?! No geodesic dome? F. Buckminster Fuller is displeased!

  317. Nytol.

  318. This place blows chunks.

  319. good night everyone

  320. G’night sohos.

  321. Who put the fucking dog treats up there?

    http://tinyurl.com/yjkrm8r

  322. Poor pupster.

    I feel bad that he’s two retarded to climb the steps on the other side.

  323. “two retarded”

    **facepalm**

    IASF

  324. **pours another E&J Brandy**

    **spills it all over self while smoking**

    **bursts into flames**

    Ow.

  325. I’m hurt that Mare is hanging out with Ace and not me.

  326. Of course, if I hadn’t burned all my skin off, maybe she’d hang out here more.

  327. I wouldn’t count on that. Your skin wasn’t helping to begin with.

  328. Beats having scales.

    Like certain unnamed Hostages **cough**SEAN**cough**

  329. REPTILLIANIST!!!!

  330. *sheds skin*

    *leaves it in garden of comment section*

    *shoots lasers ineptly toward members of GI Joe forces*

    *doesn’t bother to duck, seeing as how GI Joe people are just as bad or worse shots*

    *changes channel, anticipating that van will flip over on CHiPS (as always happens)*

    *realizes that I’m back in the 80s*

    Damnit.

  331. Morning stooges and tards.

  332. [picks up sean’s skin, and puts it in my worm composter]

    That’s not gonna smell up the joint, is it?

  333. Ok, I gotta go to work.

    Nice to see my pretend internet friends stayed up/woke up to spend a little time with me before I had to leave.

  334. [picks up sean’s skin, and puts it in my worm composter]

    That’s not gonna smell up the joint, is it?

    The rotting deer innards will probably mount a formal protest on your front porch….

  335. Nice to see my pretend internet friends stayed up/woke up to spend a little time with me before I had to leave.

    You didn’t tell me to reset the alarm clock yesterday. You coulda had me set it 15 minutes earlier today, but NNnnOOOooo….

    Oh, you said friends…. wait, pretend…..well, now I’m just confused.

  336. For the Record, (Looks at FNG Forrestererer ) Jewstin never consulted AdviceCat on working in the diesel field. He would nave been told to re-commune with the Hookah Pipe until the silly notion passed. All of the equipment dealers I’m aware of have had massive layoffs, some cutting 15 years experience. The market will take a long time to re-absorb the existing talent pool. Noobies, if they can find a job at all, are gonna starve. North and South Carolina are gonna take a long time to recover in this trade. Then, there is the Tool Truck payments that go on for ever….

  337. *** Puts Coffee on Counter ***

    *** Vase of Yellow Roses for the Ladies ***

    I’m hurt that Mare is hanging out with Ace and not me.

    *** Soap, WashCloth and BathTowel for the “Boss” ***

  338. Heheh
    I remember those tool truck payments!
    1/2 a lifetime ago. or more.

  339. Note to self, tool truck payments kill blog for about a hour.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Top that Cranky!!!!!

  340. The WSJ follows the climate money
    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703939404574566124250205490.html

    WooHoo!
    over a hour!

    Tool Truck baby! Tool Truck.

  341. The other day, I had a come to Jesus moment and thought about how each individual person is God’s child and is special in his or her own way. Everyone has a unique story to tell and is a valuable soul in this universe.

    The moment lasted all of six seconds until thoughts of you retarded fucksticks pissed all over that little prayer candle I had lit for mankind.

    Happy Tuesday Morning.

  342. Howdy folks. Carin, I meant to tell you, I ordered that book you recommended, Shadow Divers, from Amazon couple weeks ago (along with a half dozen others). Will start it tonight. Looks good.

  343. Hey Dave, still coming to Houston on Thursday?

    I haven’t had Gilhooley’s oysters since Friday, need an excuse.

  344. Yeah I am, but I would have to head back around 8pm or so. Got meetings Friday morning back here I can’t miss.

    I should be done Thursday afternoon around 3-4pm. That too early?

  345. Beautiful Roses, Sox!! Thank you!

  346. Not too early for me. Should be ok with Count and Sohos, but I’ll make sure.

  347. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  348. It feels so good to finally be on the right thread.

  349. HAHA…holy crapinini ,

    I thought ‘where the hell did that post come from”….

    Cuffy…where are you??

  350. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
    *crosses legs so I don’t pee while laughing and coughing*
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


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