Let Me Tell You Why You Suck

Actually no one knows why you suck, you just do.

A hosefucker enjoys her day off.

 

This video is so fucking stupid that it’s hilarious.  Yes, I know I linked it a few days ago.

 

Speaking of fucking that chicken, here’s MCPO and his first girlfriend.

 

This guy is great but his Morgan Freeman bit kills, KILLS I SAY!!!

 

STFU.

364 Comments

  1. This post is fucking awesome.

  2. When I go on a 57 state killing spree I’m starting with Tennessee.

  3. At least there were no latex feet.

  4. That first picture reminds me of Kenny from South Park.

  5. MCPO has some purty shoes.

  6. Cyn – Thanks. Now come over here and clean the welting!

  7. At least there were no latex feet.

    HA! After I said that, I was afraid that I might have planted a seed, a demon seed.

  8. I’m not clean anything that I have to look up to find out what it is, Chief. I will take dibs on a breast when you’re done with your date.

  9. (L to R) Jewstin, Wiser, Rosetta:

    http://tinyurl.com/yao27c4

  10. SHOES!!! gay will never cease to amuse me.

  11. Looks like he already is done. He’s smoking a cig, and the date still has one of the cuffs on.

  12. When I go on a one state killing spree, I’m gonna start with Rosetta (I think that’s the 53rd state)

  13. Where the hell have you been, Jew?

    I don’t recall giving you permission to be gone for an extended period.

  14. (L to R) Jewstin, Wiser, Rosetta:

    http://tinyurl.com/yao27c4

    That was funny…
    …when we saw it in the last poat.

  15. Is it time for a “keep fucking that chicken” comment?

  16. Is there ever a bad time for a “keep fucking that chicken” comment?

  17. Rosie, pass this along to my Secret Santa, willya?

    http://tinyurl.com/ygs8w52

  18. I’ve been traveling, Rosetta. And more tomorrow, dammit all. I was supposed to be there today.

  19. That first picture reminds me of Kenny from South Park.

    HA! Good call.

  20. If you are bald I think it triples the range.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jACSPipPSE

  21. How embarrassing….MCPO and xbrad just bought the same shoes.

    http://tinyurl.com/yhcbfpb

  22. Is there ever a bad time for a “keep fucking that chicken” comment?

    Never.

  23. Where you going, Jew? And why? WTF?

  24. YAY!

  25. That was funny…

    And you chose not to comment on it.

  26. I thought you might have read my brain waves.

    Let’s try this again, MCPO…what am I thinking NOW.

  27. I’m moving to an undisclosed location. Xbrad’s stalking gave me a nervous breakdown.

  28. MCPO…what am I thinking NOW.

    That MCPO has the cutest avatard on the entire innerwebtubes!

  29. Diabeetus.

  30. I wasn’t stalking. I was trying to get my shirt back.

  31. WINNER!!

    http://tinyurl.com/yf5p4bv

  32. Cyn – 12 yo Jameson?! I just might be in lust with you!

  33. “WINNER!!

    http://tinyurl.com/yf5p4bv

    Now I want carbombs.

  34. I do have the bestest coconuts on the interwebz.

  35. Sky–what’s a carbomb?

  36. I am watching The Cleveland Show on Fox and it is the worst thing I’ve ever seen and it needs to be canceled immediately.

    Seth MacFarlane is a funny mofo but this show is a steaming pile of shit.

    Seriously.

  37. Cyn- half a glass of Guinness surrounding a shot glass of Jameson and Baileys

  38. Rosetta: there is football on television. Spin-offs are almost always teh suck.

  39. “Sky–what’s a carbomb?”

    Half a pint of Guinness, a shot of 3/4 Jameson and a float of Bailey’s Irish Cream. Drop the shot into the pint glass with the Guinness, chug it, and be happy.

    Tastes like chocolate Guinness cake.

  40. Hahahahahahaha. If you watch that diabeetus cat video 10 times in a row, it’s funny as hell.

  41. I have been trying to decide if I like SGU.
    I was surprised when the season finally is Friday.
    I guess I must like it some. BUT QUIT WITH THE FUCKING SHAKY CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEEEK11

  42. Thanks for the recipe Chief.

  43. How do I love thee, Little New Poat?
    Let me count the ways:
    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Oh, WTF? Never mind.

  44. I was smart enough to never bother watching any of The Cleveland Show.

    Cuz I’m …

    RAAAAAAAACCCIIISSSTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. Mmmmm
    Chocolate!

  46. “I have been trying to decide if I like SGU.
    I was surprised when the season finally is Friday.
    I guess I must like it some. BUT QUIT WITH THE FUCKING SHAKY CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEEEK11”

    I like SGU. But it’s forgotten that stupid campiness is why we like StarGate. It’s trying way too hard to be BSG.

  47. The Cleveland shows sucks the balls of American Dad!

  48. I made it about 7 minutes into the very first episode of American Dad and gave up and shot myself in the face.

  49. I also have a recipe for Guinness cake (with Guinness icing) that is unbelievable.

  50. Sky,

    Less talking, more baking.

  51. I agree sky.

    I always liked Courtney
    http://yankeephil.blogspot.com/2009/11/courteney-cougar-cox-back-to-work.html

    Gingers are hot but brunettes are hotter.

  52. OLD BUTCH

    John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

    Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

    John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.

    To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

    Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

    Vote carefully next year, the bells are not always audible.

  53. I made you a sammich, xbrad.

  54. I also have a recipe for Guinness cake (with Guinness icing) that is unbelievable.

    That sound very interesting. Please mail me a piece.

  55. “Gingers are hot but brunettes are hotter.”

    Pffft. We gingers are way teh hotness.

  56. Just a little dark. I like mine just a little less well done.

    But I’ll take ’em.

  57. “That sound very interesting. Please mail me a piece.”

    The only time I can talk Mr. Ember into making it is my birthday. Remind me in March.

  58. With the campyness of course

    A family member fell down and broke a hip this weekend. It was touch and go for a while, but things have worked out ok. Surgery is over, resting comfortably.

    The Anesthesiologist has never worked on someone so old.

    and it was not MCPO!

  59. Yummy-sounding chocolate & Jameson’s recipe:

    http://www.kevindundon.com/irish_whiskey_chocolate_fondant.html

    I’d need a moist towellette and a ciggie after eating that!

  60. “Just a little dark. I like mine just a little less well done.

    But I’ll take ‘em.”

    Good; Mr. Ember and Ember Jr. outright refused’em. Bastages.

  61. Forrester – Kiss my wrinkly scrotum, you taint-licking Wookie!

  62. Clintbird–that is so worth a viral email!

  63. “Yummy-sounding chocolate & Jameson’s recipe:

    http://www.kevindundon.com/irish_whiskey_chocolate_fondant.html

    I’d need a moist towellette and a ciggie after eating that!”

    I need a moist towellette and a ciggie just reading about it.

  64. Imma reading your insults to Mr. Subaru, MCPO, and I just crack up when I see your avatar! Too hard to take seriously!

  65. Pffft. We gingers are way teh hotness.

    of course you are, but I cannot have one, so I make believe that brunettes rule.

    Hey that twin thing is on Nat Geo. 38 pairs of twins live in one small town in Brazil. The theory is Mengele was experimenting.

  66. Ember, I hate to say it, but the best grilled cheese sammiches I’ve ever had were ones I made on the George Foreman grill.

  67. ‘Sup, racists?

  68. Next person to comment on this poat has to change MCPO’s Depends.

  69. Heheheh
    I likes you too Mr MCPO.

  70. Howdy Seen. Just waiting for you to get here to call us racists.

  71. Bite me Brew!
    or Winfield

  72. “Ember, I hate to say it, but the best grilled cheese sammiches I’ve ever had were ones I made on the George Foreman grill.”

    Dude, you can make all KINDS of shit on the George Foreman grill.

  73. *hands forrester rubber gloves and a clothespin*

  74. I made steak tartare on my George Foreman

  75. It took forever

  76. *Takes rubber gloves*

    *Moves to Italy*

    Lots of brunette hotties here!

  77. My mother swears by her GF grill.

  78. I tried to find you a redheaded blow-up doll online, forrester. They are apparently less popular than blonde models.

  79. Is that the only appliance that she cusses near, Cyn?

  80. Yikes!
    did you see this hottie?
    http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ravrech/2009/11/25/one-shot-one-kill-one-beautiful-sharpshooter/

  81. My mother swears. . .

    Wash her mouth out with soap!!!!

  82. sky, heheh!
    I prefer real ones to blow up.

  83. Is that the only appliance that she cusses near, Cyn?

    Amazingly…No.

  84. Early night for me, kids, I’m ready for jammies.

    Well, that and I get better viewing of referee/attorney Ed Hochuli in the PIT/BAL football game on the big TV in the family room. Uffda!

    Sweet Dreams everyone.

  85. You gotta see this.

    The old soldier has much more class than I do because I would have beaten that Code Pink slattern into ground beef.

    What human debris those people are. Literal human trash.

  86. Oh by the way, while I was at the hospital visiting the said family member,
    HOT! HOT! HOT! nurses!!!!!!!!!11111eeek.
    I must go back every day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

  87. FAIL!

    http://tinyurl.com/ylscllk

  88. I truly hate and despise people. I’m gonna take that hate and crawl into a corner so that I don’t accidentally impale anybody. See y’all tomorrow.

  89. I truly hate and despise people

    And that’s why we love you.

  90. My brother said that my grandfather was bumped from coming to America on the Titanic.
    However the Titanic sailed in 1912, and my Grandfather arrived in America in 1919.

    Thank you Bing!

  91. And that’s why we love hate you.

  92. I truly hate and despise people. I’m gonna take that hate and crawl into a corner so that I don’t accidentally impale anybody.

    Riiiiiiight. “Accidentally.”

  93. http://tinyurl.com/ya3g3ah

    You’re welcome!

  94. Well sailed for America did not actually arrive.

  95. Holy crap.

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/295248.php

    If this is true, Huck’s done.

  96. Hey, if it ends the Huckster’s political career, I’m okay with it. He freaks me out.

  97. The Titanic that is

    Good stuff Dave.

  98. It’s interesting that none of you have observed that four Lakewood WA police officers have been murdered this morning. Fuc* you all very much.

    The perp has a vast criminal record, including child-rape and assault against a LEO.
    Whatever.

    ChrisP
    Long time lurker, first time poster.

  99. Good night Tattoo!

  100. Sky – Me too!

  101. ChrisP –

    1. I haven’t seen the news today
    2. It’s a terrible thing
    3. If you think your first comment here is appropriate, go fuck yourself.

  102. Well ChrisP,
    I support law enforcement.
    But there are many bastard idiots with a gun.
    That think they are always right.

  103. Because we express that we dislike Huckabee, we hate cops that have been killed.

    Your logic is impecable. I bow to your superior wit.

  104. Chris, I’ve been talking about it in email with someone.
    If I had known you were checking H2 to see if we were talking about it here, and getting upset that we weren’t, I would have told you to go fuck yourself earlier.

  105. Wait, wait just a goddamned minute now.

    I wanna tell Chris to go fuck himself too.

  106. I guess ChrisP is a drive by.
    Bite me idiot.

  107. “I wanna tell Chris to go fuck himself too.”

    Pretty sure no one but Chris objects.

  108. Maybe Chris P should use some of that lurking time to click the link I put up to Ace just as soon as I saw that.

  109. MCPO,
    Thank you for your service!
    These LEO’s were just sitting in the cofefe shop at the start of their shift. They had no indication of the danger, as they had been doing this for a long time, as this coffee shop was at the intersection of Pierce County, Lakewood, and Tacoma jurisdictions where they met in the mourning s to discuss the things goings in the districts at shift-change.
    This is a tragic event for our area of operations. These folks did this every morning, as this coffee shop was at the juncture of the jurisdictines of Pierce County, Lakewood, and Tacoma. They would often meet there and discuss the problems and the plans for the day.

    Cheers!
    ChrisP

  110. Comment by xbradtc on November 29, 2009 1:29 pm

    Just awful.

    http://minx.cc/?post=295234

  111. Dammit, I came out of the corner too soon. Fuck it, I’m gonna go wash dishes. Maybe I’ll break something.

  112. wow chrisp go fuck yourself

  113. Tat, you can “accidentally” impale this guy.

  114. chrispy crunch I read that link that xbrad posted earlier did you not?????

  115. Chris, you do know that while we often discuss the issues of the day, that really isn’t the point here.

    I’ve been reading about the cops all day. I’ve been commenting at some other places. And at places like Ace, I’ve kept my piehole shut until we know more.

    Just because I didn’t immediately start spouting off about it doesn’t mean it is meaningless to me. It just means I wanted to know what was going on before talking about it.

    You know the old saying, better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

  116. Tat, you can “accidentally” impale this guy.

    Ooohh, this sounds promising. Can i break something too? And make the remains wash my dishes?

  117. Can i break something too?

    Chris’ femur?

  118. Jeez, don’t just fall all over each other rushing to tell Chris to go fuck himself.

    *sets up deli number-dispenser*
    *looks at digital counter and advances it*

    SIX.
    WHO’S GOT SIX?

  119. “Ooohh, this sounds promising. Can i break something too? And make the remains wash my dishes?”

    You have my blessings. I don’t know how much that counts for, but you’ve definitely got’em.

  120. ChrisPy Critter, you’re kind of a douche. Maybe you should lurk a little longer.

  121. NUMBER SEVEN?
    YOU’RE UP

  122. Just because I didn’t immediately start spouting off about it doesn’t mean it is meaningless to me. It just means I wanted to know what was going on before talking about it.

    Bingo. It’s not like there was exactly much to add to the story Dave put up at the mothership.

    Please consider this comment a hearty endorsement of ChrisP going and fucking himself and/or his impalement by TI.

  123. Jewstin, why don’t you go fuck yourself.

  124. *clears throat*

    *prepares for Chris*

  125. maybe he’s Huckabee’s communications director?

    if that’s true Chris, I don’t think this particular approach is going to work.

  126. Lucky 7. What do I win?

  127. “*clears throat*

    *prepares for Chris*”

    *grabs popcorn.*

  128. Just trying to keep it orderly, Andy.

  129. Eddie, now don’t hold back like you usually do.

  130. Xbrad, if you don’t shut it, I’m going to fuck Andy with a moldy yucca plant.

  131. Okay, Daughter is in the other room.

  132. WHO’S GOT NINE?
    number nine, GOING, GOING…

  133. Jewstin, I’d tell you to suck my ass, but you might.

  134. STFU, xbrad. STFU NOW!

    * glances at moldy, but still quite firm, yucca plant *

  135. Look, he whispered to me that he found Jesus while gently nibbling on my ear, you know I can’t resist that.

  136. *looks at ticket

    Fuck, I’ve got #27

    *sits back and patiently waits.

  137. sorry lauraw I just hate that assuming bullshit attitude from people and I tend to get a little testy when people say this: Fuc* you all very much.

  138. going back to studying

  139. Jewstin, I’d tell you to suck my ass, but you might.

    Sorry Andy. Xbrad just doesn’t listen.

  140. Lemme rant for a minute about the “finding Jesus in prison thingy”

    Yeah. People do find Jesus in prison. Some fake it. Some make it. And criminals were just the kind of folks Jesus liked to hang out with.

    But Jesus didn’t offer a get out jail free card. He offered solace for the soul. That’s it. And while Jesus could tell if you were sincere about your conversion, that was a pretty much a talent only He had.

    It is my firm belief that a jailhouse conversion should have no bearing on clemency or parole. If you were truly ashamed of your actions before your conversion, wouldn’t you feel that you should pay the price to society as a form of reparation?

  141. I knew keeping that yucca around was going to come back and bite me in the ass. Well, not bite, but you get the picture.

  142. No prob, sohos, I was cheering you on.

  143. Agree, xbrad. A lot of people are finding Allah in jail these day, too. Would numbnuts Huckabee argue they should be released?

  144. People do find Jesus in prison.

    usually right after they drop the soap in the shower.

  145. Mike Huckabee, meet Mike Dukakis.

    This comment is clearly rraaccisssttt!!11!

  146. People do find Jesus in prison.

    Madonna found Jesus, but I don’t think they were in prison.

    http://bacn.me/el9

  147. All the Baby Jesi hate ChrisP.

    http://tinyurl.com/yzzhg8e

  148. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris…

    Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you through all four dimensions with a medieval Crocodile Tube soaked in flammable AIDS and the clap. Fuck you for lurking here, as you fucking claim, and not understanding who the fuck we are, where the fuck we come from, and how the fuck we fucking operate at this fucking site.

    If you, Mr. Super Fucking Lurker, fucking realized that many, nay, all of us, fucking love and respect the military, Law Enforcement, and much of what is associated with such, you would know how we feel about this deal. The fact that many of us had little to say about said tragedy, save X-Brad’s comment, does not reflect upon us. Maybe we had nothing to add to the story. Maybe we had other obligations today. Maybe you should just fuck yourself with a rusty Garden Weasel for coming here and not even understanding us, yet choosing to pass judgment upon us. Ace’s site, the same fucking site most of us frequent, has at least two separate threads up on this evil that was bestowed upon the world today, and the topic is being discussed with vigor over there right now.

    But you, as Mr Awesome Lurking Fucktubing Pussynozzle, already knew that, right? You, with your awesome Innertunbing Powers, already knew that most of us had seen the story today in some form or another. That, in and of itself, makes your rough draft of the opening paragraph from The Book of Being A Fucking Assfisting Dickbag, translated from Shitehead into English, even more amazing, for I wonder if you truly did lurk here. I wonder because even a cursory glance would tell you how we feel, where WE fucking hang out, and what stances we take upon the issues and events of the day.

    Tell you what, Viscount Christopher of Cocksnoggling, why don’t you tell us where you hang out on the internet, and wait for us to fucking show up and rip through your anal cavity like a chainsaw through a rump roast? And if that is to much for you, please come back here, or to Ace’s site, or to IB, or to DPUD, and test your awesomeness. If you are as awesome as you think you are, then you could hold up. If you are truly lurking around our urine stenched neck of the internet as you claimed you have, you would already fear for your imaginary soul, which makes your idiocy even more perplexing.

    And one last thing pal. You are such a fucking pussy. You didn’t even spell out “fuck”. That’s part of the lingua franca here. But a super lurker would have known that.

    So fuck off, Chris. And take your asshlolia with you.

  149. what eddie said.

    *Checks sign for number

    *steps back and continues to wait.

  150. Okay wiser, you’re up. Eddie used #’s 9-26.

  151. Did anyone hear about those 4 cops that were murdered today?

    It’s terrible.

    Wha?

  152. Okay wiser, you’re up. Eddie used #’s 9-26.

    Really, what else is there to say?

  153. Wha?

    Hey, PJ.

    How’s your sister?

  154. **clap, clap**

    Eddie, that was one of the best. The Viscount part was the best.

  155. I think I agree with Eddie. Is that the long version of ‘Go fuck yourself?”

  156. **clap, clap**

    *sends xbrad leftover penicillin

  157. Hey wiserbud

    Nunya

    How’re you? I’m bummed I haven’t been able to talk to you about it since we met, but PJD has been on vacation and well, I thought I should wait till the tests actually came in before I should let you worry about them.

  158. Chrisp, do you have a response?

  159. What eddiebear said

  160. Okay wiser, you’re up. Eddie used #’s 9-26.

    He did kind of take the wind out of my “Baby Jesi” joke, though.

  161. brad: thanks. He kinda pissed me off.

  162. Really, what else is there to say?

    True. I had a follow-up (fuck you ChrisP part deux, if you will) that I didn’t press the button on because I figured Eddie would make the same point.

    And he did. In his inimitable style, no less.

  163. Once my daughter goes to bed, I have something saved up for the 52%ers over at DPUD.

    See ya soon.

  164. Eh. I just hate when someone assumes I don’t have the proper level of outrage over something like that.

    What do they want me to do? Drive to Tacoma and start a manhunt?

  165. By the way eddie that was a work of art. Beee-yootee-fool

  166. I thought I should wait till the tests actually came in before I should let you worry about them.

    I’m not worried. I’ve been sterile ever since I worked at Three Mile Island.

  167. I reeeeeeeeeally don’t like Huckabee.

  168. Ummmmmm, sterility has nothing to do with the tests that you should be worried about.

  169. Wasserman test?

  170. sterility has nothing to do with the tests that you should be worried about.

    that’ll teach me to buy condoms in a gas station men’s room.

  171. Wasserman test?

    No. Rorschach tests

  172. Rorschach tests

    Ummmmm, it looks like ….. George Lucas eating a hot dog. Oh, and he has a scar on his forehead.

  173. that’ll teach me to buy condoms in a gas station men’s room.

    Yeah, the ones in the ladies’ room are much better.

  174. Ummmmm, it looks like ….. George Lucas eating a hot dog. Oh, and he has a scar on his forehead.

    That is exactly why I’m worried about the results.

  175. Yeah, the ones in the ladies’ room are much better.

    ribbed for her enjoyment. Seriously, who gives a fuck at that point?

  176. Her enjoyment?

    What’s that mean?

  177. Me – Saturday night:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trqfeg-5Duo

  178. Yeah, the ones in the ladies’ room are much better.

    I carry a box of saran wrap around with me.

  179. I carry a box of saran wrap around with me.

    Cheaper than a shirt, right?

  180. Cheaper and more useful.

  181. Did you know?

    A. That the words “race car” spelled backward still spell “race car”?

    B. That “eat” is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense “ate”?

    C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “illegal immigrants” and add just a few more letters, it spells out: “Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, violent, non-English speaking assholes and take those other hairy faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-loving, raggedy-ass bastards with you”?

    How weird is that ???

  182. C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “illegal immigrants” and add just a few more letters, it spells out: “Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, violent, non-English speaking assholes and take those other hairy faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-loving, raggedy-ass bastards with you”?

    Notlob?

  183. See, that’s why I feel dumb around college educated people like Romy. I just don’t have that intellectual heft.

  184. Or should I have insulted ChrisP instead?

  185. Belatedly – Eddie remains my hero.

  186. Belatedly – Eddie remains my hero.

    Belatedly?

    So you’ve met him?

  187. “Belatedly?

    So you’ve met him?”

    Only on the intertubes. I was referring to his fuck-you-ChrisP-rant. It was heroic.

  188. I think there’s a few bits and pieces laying around still, Romy, if you wanna play with the scraps Eddie left.

  189. Saturday night at Wiser’s: http://tinyurl.com/2j9y3

  190. Wiserbud, that is one of Mr. RFH’s favorite Monty Python skits.

  191. That can’t be wiser’s.

    There’s wimmens in the pic.

  192. Saturday night at Wiser’s: http://tinyurl.com/2j9y3

    Ooooooooooooooh, so close………

  193. Only on the intertubes.

    oh, how I envy you.

  194. I think there’s a few bits and pieces laying around still, Romy, if you wanna play with the scraps Eddie left.

    XBrad, only if the bits start reassembling themselves into a zombie.

  195. Hello, Miss Romy!

  196. Wiserbud, that is one of Mr. RFH’s favorite Monty Python skits.

    It’s still funny, but I like The Cheese Sketch better..

  197. My favorites are the Hungarian phrase book that’s all messed up and any of the skits with the pepperpots.

  198. Hey Chief, did you play golf today? It was windy but not so damn cold. My blood is too thin for a winter up here.

  199. Romy, where are you?

    And do they have sammiches there?

  200. I am sick of this book!

    http://tinyurl.com/ydpnwzc

  201. Yes – It was beautiful here. A little warmer than the Laurel Highland, I’m sure.

  202. Shohohohohohohhs, I thought you were excited to be back in school studying Sheakespare?

  203. I really hate Monty Python. If humour were art, Monty Python would be a four-year-old with macaroni.

  204. Comment by Jewstin on November 29, 2009 11:21 pm

    I really hate Monty Python. If humour were art, Monty Python would be a four-year-old with macaroni.

    He’s a witch!!!!

    BURN HIM!!!!!

  205. Jewstin – All of your taste is in your mouth.

  206. I am reading the Literature of War stuff and it is an old Greek play about an amazon woman

  207. XBrad, I am about six miles from where Flight 93 went down. No sammiches here, but I made spaghetti today. There’s Eat ‘n Park if you get desperate.

  208. Ah, that’s different, Sohos.

    I can’t really think of any good lterature of war that I’ve read. I mostly read non-fiction about war.

  209. Quiet, quiet, quiet, QUIET! There are ways of *telling* whether she is a witch!

  210. Spaghetti?

    Nice, warm, full of carbs, and with lots of meat, either in the sauce or meatballs?

    Yes please.

  211. I really hate Monty Python.

    Say that again.

    Go ahead. I dare you.

    Say that again and I will ban you for 3 1/2 minutes.

    Go ahead. Say it.

  212. I do love this class as well but this piece of work is tedious

  213. “Quiet, quiet, quiet, QUIET! There are ways of *telling* whether she is a witch!”

    What floats on water?

  214. So, Jewstin, are you a fan of the Three Stooges?

  215. MCPO, I’m refined, you geriatric ass-nibbler.

    Now get me a fucking beer. I’m busy scratching my balls.

  216. blazer, ember, everybody else: thanks. While we have had our battles here, having some fuckfaced dicksniggler come over and try to shit on us just will not be tolerated.

    I didn’t mean to get worked up, but he pushed my button with his attitude.

    Oh, and SOSHO, are you reading Euripides? Or the Bacchae?

  217. BREAD!

  218. You’ve got to pick up every stitch. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5aPhGQ0L9Q

  219. Eddie I am reading Penthesilea by Kliest, it is a play

  220. CHURCHES!

    … very small rocks?

  221. XBrad, the spaghetti was made with tomato sauce from homegrown tomatoes and ground venison, and I must say it was pretty damn good.

  222. A DUCK!

  223. oh, sorry. My mistake.

    Goethe didn’t like it, so take that FWIW

  224. Who are you, who is so wise in the ways of science?

  225. I love Donovan

  226. A duck!

  227. **shakes plate in Romy’s face**

    Where’s my pigsgetti?

  228. A GOOSE! (just for the girls)

  229. Sohita, you win.

  230. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

  231. Romy I love what you posted Count and I have been dying laughing at that

  232. You can tell he’s the king. “Cause he hasn’t got shit all over him.

  233. Actually, I am Arthur.

    Tho not King of the Britons.

  234. *gets goosed by MCPO
    * drops XBrad’s spaghetti, which is pounced on by three dogs
    * swears a blue streak
    * which still doesn’t compare to eddie’s masterpiece.

  235. Actually, I am Arthur.

    Tho not King of the Britons.

    See? HE’s got shit all over him.

  236. All this talk of spaghetti is making me hungry, damnit.

  237. Not all over me. I just got a little hasty the last time I took a shit.

  238. Well, who is your lord?

  239. so, who’s the new chick?

    Has xbrad introduced himself correctly?

  240. yeah, I’m hungry too, Sky.

    Mom decided to try a new recipe for shrimp tonight.

    Not quite utter FAIL, but nothing near as good as when I grill them in teriyaki sauce.

  241. she is in POL wiserbabe

  242. “yeah, I’m hungry too, Sky.

    Mom decided to try a new recipe for shrimp tonight.

    Not quite utter FAIL, but nothing near as good as when I grill them in teriyaki sauce.”

    You saw what was left of my sammiches. Dinner was a pathetic affair tonight.

  243. she is in POL wiserbabe

    Damn, have I been gone that long?

  244. For Sohos – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTuPbJLqFKI

  245. “so, who’s the new chick?

    Has xbrad introduced himself correctly?”

    I’m afraid to know how xbrad is supposed to introduce himself.

  246. you are right EVB that Goethe didnt like Kliest.
    Kliest wound up committing murder/suicide with a woman who was dying of cancer.
    He was only like 34 yrs old. Sad story really.

  247. I’m afraid to know how xbrad is supposed to introduce himself.

    So glad you asked.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4ERegJ0Tow

  248. I’m afraid to know how xbrad is supposed to introduce himself.

    bend over and spread ’em

  249. I’m afraid to know how xbrad is supposed to introduce himself.

    I usually pull down my pants and rub my asscheeks all over your monitor.

  250. If you are truly lurking around our urine stenched neck of the internet as you claimed you have

    GAWDDAMMIT! I hate piss stench. How many times do I have to tell you buncha drunks to put some Gawddamn depends on if you are going to be sitting pantsless at the computer?

  251. SOSHO: yeah. WHile I never read Kliest, I heard of him indirectly through my study of Goethe.

    Kliest was fucked up. And not in the good way.

  252. Well, I feel … welcome?

  253. And not in the good way.

    RIGHT!!!!!!

  254. Wiser, I can’t believe I forgot that Xtranormal.

    I had that bookmarked on my other computer.

  255. Xbrad’s ass cheeks are sweaty. BiW told me so.

  256. Sky, I’m sure you’ve already been given the third degree by the rest of the wonderful people here, but have they told you Rule # 1?

  257. If they did, I was far too deep in my whiskey induced coma to remember it …

  258. Just got done writing out most of the bills, including next semesters tuition/meals/board for beasnson. Moved some cash around. Shit. Still have property taxes…grrr….community fees….and come Jan. 1, car insurance, to pay.

    I hate this time of year. Cannot. Get. Ahead.

  259. Eddie the only thing I know about Goethe is that he influenced Darwin. I have never studied his work.

  260. don’t feel bad, Beasn, the IRS and I have a slight disagreement over my 2007 taxes.

  261. Goethe. Did he know about goatse?

  262. I didn’t tell her about Rule #1, but I did touch on #6:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UM9GjnTFIM

  263. If they did, I was far too deep in my whiskey induced coma to remember it …

    heh heh heh.

    you’ll learn. you’ll learn.

    Welcome to the family.

  264. well any of us that got a stimulus check I think we have to pay it back next year

  265. Well nice to meet you new chick!

    skylia ember

    I had to go to your blog to find out whether you were skyliaember or skyli aember or sky liaember or really limber

  266. Will’s being so critical. I’ve had to update my video like 5 times to satisfy him. /:-[

  267. don’t feel bad, Beasn, the IRS and I have a slight disagreement over my 2007 taxes.

    Ew. They’re gonna dog your ass until you bleed.

  268. Beasn – He invented, “Der Goatse”

  269. said video is based on a Goethe poem, btw

  270. Does anybody know what time it is?
    Does anybody really care?

  271. dump him, Mrs. Peel.

    Hang with us. We have much lower standards. You should to.

  272. Do you know the way to San Jose?

    I’ve got a lot of friends there – in San Jose.

  273. “I had to go to your blog to find out whether you were skyliaember or skyli aember or sky liaember or really limber”

    My evil plan to boost readership is working! Mwahahaha.

    Or something.

  274. will you link the video Mrs Peel?

  275. Does anybody know what time it is?
    Does anybody really care?

    Were you walking down a street one day?

  276. Real question then: Did any of you watch A Dog Named Christmas on CBS tonight?
    Nice movie with just a hint of melancholy about it.
    *Sniff.*

  277. My suspense over Rule #1 is eating away at my black little heart.

  278. My suspense over Rule #1 is eating away at my black little heart

    Oh that’s easy. Be wiserbud’s sycophant

    We all have to do it…………..or else

  279. Why yes … in the merry, merry month of May … as a matter of fact.

  280. My evil plan to boost readership is working! Mwahahaha.

    dang, I think the boys were hoping you were really limber

  281. We all have to do it…………..or else

    It can get ugly.

  282. “dang, I think the boys were hoping you were really limber”

    I don’t know what more I can do for the boys. http://skyliaember.wordpress.com/category/complete-and-utter-narcissism/

  283. Sky, how did you find us?

  284. “Sky, how did you find us?”

    I blame Xbrad.

  285. I blame Xbrad.

    hmmmm…..

    Well, welcome aboard anyway.

  286. I blame leoncaruthers

  287. oh heck, she even has dpud commenting at her joint

    can I have your autograph?

  288. So, how long did xbrad stalk you before you simply gave up?

  289. Lemme see, I get a lot of shit tossed my way for being the world most unfunneh commenter, but I bring us a woman who:

    1. Is somewhat funneh.

    2. Is a ginger.

    3. Takes pics of herself in skimpy outfits.

    4. Posts those pics where we can touch ourselves in the swimsuit area enjoy them.

    Why am I the designated asshole around here again?

  290. “So, how long did xbrad stalk you before you simply gave up?”

    Around the 20th time I found him in the bushes outside my house.

  291. Heh. I’ll see if I can upload it to Facebook. I just have one more thing to try to fix.

  292. Why am I the designated asshole around here again?

    Again?

    When did that stop?

  293. Mrs. Peel!! Super cute POL photo!

  294. Around the 20th time I found him in the bushes outside my house.

    Hmmph. Easy.

    Will’s being so critical. I’ve had to update my video like 5 times to satisfy him. /:-[

    You’ll get your revenge when it’s his turn to satisfy you.

  295. Wiser, What’s BiW done for us lately? Huh? Answer me that!

  296. “oh heck, she even has dpud commenting at her joint

    can I have your autograph?”

    Only scantily clad pictures have made that happen. ;) Signed photo prints are available for the low, low price of telling me about my general awesomeness.

  297. You’ll get your revenge when it’s his turn to satisfy you.

    poor guy is not gonna be able to speak normal for a month

  298. You’ll get your revenge when it’s his turn to satisfy you.

    how nerds have foreplay

  299. What’s foreplay?

  300. What’s foreplay?

    beer?

  301. beer?

    I think I’ll toddle over to the fridge and enjoy me some foreplay right now.

  302. What’s foreplay?

    I said NERDS, not kooks!!

  303. beer?

    worked for you didn’t it?

  304. Fuck beer. Drink some whiskey.

  305. What’s foreplay?

    Slobber, grasp, tweat!

  306. worked for you didn’t it?

    Up to a point.

    Then you woke up.

  307. works for me I love beer

  308. Beer. Is there anything it can’t do?

    Did you ever notice, PJ, the more I drink, the better you look?

  309. What’s foreplay?

    Slobber, grasp, tweat!

    Only MCPO would think of using “twitter” during sex

  310. Did you ever notice, PJ, the more I drink, the better you look?

    Makes me wonder how often you’ve seen me.

  311. Once was enough.

  312. Only MCPO would think of using “twitter” during sex

    Everyone should share in my fumbling attempts at lovemaking.

  313. Once was enough.

    Then no, I couldn’t possibly have noticed that the more you drink the better I look

    duh

  314. beer?

    I think I’ll toddle over to the fridge and enjoy me some foreplay right now.

    geoff, that’s the funniest thing you’ve said in six months.

    While you’re up, I could use some foreplay, too.

  315. Did you ever notice, PJ, the more I drink, the better you look?

    Yes – drinking is our gift to all women, to help them be the best they can possibly be.

    Dang, that right there kinda made me tear up.

  316. “Yes – drinking is our gift to all women, to help them be the best they can possibly be.”

    Now that’s touching.

  317. geoff, that’s the funniest thing you’ve said in six months.

    I’m tied with xbrad!!

  318. I’d explain the concept to PJ, but I don’t have all night.

    Romy, I could use a little foreplay myself, but Geoff ain’t my type.

  319. I’m tied with xbrad!!

    Seein’s how b-rad’s running negative numbers, I don’t think so.

  320. lite foreplay
    imported foreplay
    foreplay on tap
    trading foreplay for help moving.

  321. Everyone should share in my fumbling attempts at lovemaking.

    We’ve already seen Lemon Party.

  322. We’ve already seen Lemon Party.

    I will kill you and eat your liver in front of your Mom!!

  323. I’m tied with xbrad!!

    No quite. Call me when you’ve brought in a hawt photogenic ginger.

    Female.

  324. sean:

    I intentionally lost my contacts that day

  325. night folks

  326. Female.

    There’s always a catch…

  327. I will kill you and eat your liver in front of your Mom!!

    **channels Sean**

    **breaks a Geritol bottle**

    Bring it, MOTHERFUCKER!!! I’LL CUT YOUR HEART OUT AND SMOKE IT!!!!

  328. Night Eddie!

  329. good night everyone

  330. G’night Eddie & Sohos.

  331. Night Sohos!

  332. G’night, Eddie.

    G’night, Sohita.

    Go fuck yourself, Geoff.

  333. G’night, Jon-boy!

  334. *brings a beer to XBrad to make up for the lost spaghetti

    good night, y’all

  335. {{{hugs Romy}}}

    **Pinches patooty**

    G’night, Romy. Hope things get a little better up there.

  336. G’night, Cthulhu.

  337. night Elizabeth!

  338. I’m going to jump on that goodnight bandwagon. Night, all!

  339. G’night, Sky.

    BTW, how’s your clerk?

  340. She’s all right. I called up a counselor for her; she has a meeting tomorrow to sort it out, and she doesn’t have to go back to work for a week – all paid. Plus, the cops found the asshole this morning. He tried to sell the system at a pawn shop. Douche.

    Night!

  341. Glad they caught him.

  342. Looks like the conservative candidate won in Honduras.

  343. It also looks like I’m here all by myself.

  344. xbrad, I like what you had to say about “finding Jesus” in jail and how that should not have bearing on parole time. Sorry or not, there is a price to pay.

  345. Looks like the conservative candidate won in Honduras.

    Yep. And the only Honduran quoted in this NYT article about the election is a supporter of Chavez butt-boy Zelaya.

    Typical.

  346. Mare, Parole boards specifically consider whether the candidate for parole shows remorse for his crime, but that is so subjective, how can you trust it/

    Sean, you sound surprised.

  347. Sean, you sound surprised.

    Did you not notice the last word in my comment?

  348. No, I didn’t notice it. I was busy downloading busty lesbian pron.

  349. Actual Conversation from Skype:

    Me: Well, I could always date Mesa instead. He thinks I’m hot.
    Will: Yeah, and he can get you the senior discount at Denny’s.

    BURN!

    xbrad, I think Huckabee showed a total lack of understanding of the role of the executive with his paroles. He wasn’t there to show mercy on behalf of God, but to dispense justice on behalf of the people.

  350. (I should add that Will was really making fun of me, not mesa)

  351. Mrs. Peel, I was conflating parole and clemency/pardon power, which is the power of the executive.

    Your point stands, of course. The power of clemency and pardon were instilled in our Constitution (and similarly in the various states) as a backstop to prevent miscarriages of justice. Freeing the convicted merely because the adhere to your religious standards is not furthering the interests of either justice, nor society.

  352. He wasn’t there to show mercy on behalf of God, but to dispense justice on behalf of the people.

    I’m not much of a theologian, but isn’t, um, God the only one who can show mercy on God’s behalf?

  353. No.

    We can show mercy on God’s behalf. What we can’t do is forgive sins on God’s behalf.

  354. Serves me right for being a heathen for all these years.

    Hey, wait, can’t Catholics be forgiven for their sins by repenting?

    Hey, wait, isn’t this an entirely inappropriate forum for theological discussions?

  355. Shit. Michael is bound to be drawn to this like a moth to a flame. We’d better start talking about titties, booze, and Marvel comics right quick.

  356. Catholics are forgiven by the same mechanism we Prods are- the grace of God.

    Having said that, it’s a little late for any Pure Lutheran Doctrine. So yeah, let’s talk about Booze and Titties. Not so much the Marvel comics. Except that I met Stan Lee once.

    Once.

  357. EXCELSIOR!!!

  358. ???

  359. You guys are a bad influence on me.

    We talked my in-laws into watching the boys for the night, and Mrs. BiW and I went out for our birthdays. She wanted some shoes, so we went shoe shopping (Shut Your Whore Mouths! She knows not to push it to the point where I’m shouting “For the love of all that’s holy, buy the cute red flats AND the maroon heels, but just GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!11!!”), and we went to a really nice dinner at BJ’s Brewhouse, where I enjoyed a suburb meal and washed it down with a very dry berry cider, then it was on to Best Buy, where I purchased a copy of The Patriot, whch compliments the book she bought me this morning, and then it was on to the movies to watch the new Twilight movie.

    The movie didn’t suck, and I didn’t laugh out loud like I did at parts of the first one, but there was a scene where one of the male characters was wearing a lavender plaid shirt. I realized I was about to make a very Hostageque statement out loud, and bit the inside of my mouth instead. She could see that something wasn’t right and she leaned closer so I could whisper in her ear. I said “I want to shout “The gay lumberjack called! He wants his shirt back, and he’ll slap-fight you to get it!””

    She was tired, and found it as funny as I did. This time.

  360. ???

    That was Stan’s sign off on his Soap Box column in the old Marvel Comics. Retard.

  361. Lying about meeting Stan Lee makes Teh Nerd Baby Jesus cry.

  362. He ain’t cryin’. That smile says he’s making number two in his diaper. I’m a Dad. Trust me on this.

  363. You guys are a bad influence on me.

    I prefer to think of us as editors.

  364. That was Stan’s sign off on his Soap Box column in the old Marvel Comics. Retard.

    I said I met him, not that I read him.


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