The First Annual H2 Secret Santa

sup turkeys.  As the holiday season approaches, we are going to try something new for Kwanzaa.  In case you’re stupid, this is how our Secret Santa will work.

(1) If you want to participate, please email me at 88rosetta88 *@* gmail *dot* com and let me know.  If you did not already email me your address for a Max birth announcement, you also need to include your mailing address in that email.  It will not be shared with anyone other than your secret Santa.

(2) Once I have everyone’s name that wants to play, I will put those in Goatse a hat.  I will then go down an alphabetical list of participant names and Mrs Rosetta will draw a name out of the hat to determine who everyone’s secret Santa is.

(3) I will then email everyone and tell them who they are to secretly send a gift to and also give them that person’s mailing address.

(4) You are then responsible for either buying a gift ($20 value or less) or finding some piece of crap laying around your house that you want to give to your person.

(5) We will need to mail that gift no later than Wednesday, December 16th.  For those people that are able to be around here the evening of Wednesday, December 23rd, I will put up a secret Santa poat and we can all open our presents together and express our collective disappointment/outrage/fear/disgust at the gift that we were given.

(5.5) Mare and Americano, if you two want to participate, please mail your gifts to me and then I will mail them to your person since a date stamp from a post office in Hawaii or Saipan will pretty much give you away.

(6) When you wrap and mail the gift to your person, DO NOT INCLUDE YOUR NAME, YOU TOTAL JACKSASS!!!  Part of the fun is seeing if the person to whom you mailed that poster of Tourette’s Guy can guess your identity, you douche.

(7) And keep the gifts SFW and you know what I mean.  I don’t want anyone getting in trouble with a spouse or opening something inappropriate in front of a child.

There are a shitload of funny things on Amazon for cheap that would qualify as SFW.  If you need some help, read the thread about the Laptop Steering Wheel Desk from Sunday.

(8) I expect that this will be potentially hilarious if you will think of something funny to send.

That’s it.  Try not to fuck it up.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

626 Comments

  1. My God this post is awesome.

  2. More Latex. Jeeze.

    **goes to get a Benadryl to save herself from anaphylactic shock**

  3. You rated your own poat down, Rosie??

  4. *cough*

  5. Just think, you could be riding the high on top of a thumbs up! Work it girl!

  6. I’m fascinated by the whole latex & gas mask scene, I can’t help it it.

    I don’t get it so I’m hoping someone will ultimately explain it to me.

    MOM!!!!! PUPSTER HAS MANBIRDPIG FLU!!!!

  7. I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t we send our gifts to you, so everyone will get a STL postmark.

    I mean, if I get something from HI I’m gonna pretty much know who it’s from.

  8. I was going to use a MADE UP RETURN ADDRESS

  9. I’m too fucking lazy to email you, and you already have my addy, Man-lesbian. How about you just count me in already?

  10. Or better yet, we should send them all to Lauraw, and she can re-pack and ship them for us.

    I’ve heard she is not really busy this time of year, so it will give her something to do.

  11. Have to think about participating as I have no clue or time to even shop for my own chirrens.

    BUT, if anyone has an extra $40 laying around, go to KMart, buy me that 30″ light-up pig, and send it to me secret-like.

    Thank you nice porcine decoration Santa.

  12. I don’t get it so I’m hoping someone will ultimately explain it to me.

    The latex suit is to squish all flabby bumps and bulges and enhance other bulges to make the viewer feel tickly in their pants.

  13. Pupster, giving a fellow Hostage herpes doesn’t count as a gift.

  14. Oh shit.

    Mr. Beasn just came home and is in a terrific snit. Dude has a lot of stress with work right now and is getting crabbier than MCPO.

    *wonders where I could hide*

  15. I wouldn’t say I have a fetish for chicks in latex, but an appreciation.

    But the whole gas-mask thing? Beyond me. Methinks it may have to do with the whole impersonalization of sex for the sake of sex.

    But what the hell do I know about sex?

  16. I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t we send our gifts to you, so everyone will get a STL postmark.

    That’s something that I will spend some time thinking aboutOkay I’m done thinking about that.

    If Mare and Americano wanna participate, I will have them mail the gifts to me first and then I will mail them from here. Everyone else can mail direct.

  17. Here, quick, hide in this latex suit and gas mask!!

  18. Rosie – I plan on posting/commenting over the holiday. I hate you all and you WILL share in my bitterness!

  19. come to my house beasn we are making garlic cheese burgers

  20. Sohita – Is Mesa behaving himself?

  21. hell no!

  22. Thanks sohos, I’ll be right there. No cheese though, my plumbing can’t tolerate it.

  23. you and nina NO CHEESE!

  24. extra cheese pleese

  25. How about you just count me in already?

    How about you email me like everyone else, lazy dickweed.

  26. Cheese gives me burbly tsunami-like bowels. And that is the relief.

    TMI? STFU.

  27. How about you email me like everyone else, lazy dickweed.

    How about I poke holes in the entire contents of the box of extra small condoms I was gonna send you?

  28. hahahahaha Beasn I love your underwear in your POL picture it teh best!!!!!

  29. I would rather spend $20 on Christmas cards and send some holiday lurve to everyone.

  30. I love your underwear in your POL picture it teh best!!!!!

    Huh? Did that sonofabi….

    brb

  31. Any Microsoft Works experts here? I have an issue with a spreadsheet.

  32. Oh, thought someone changed my lovely picture. Those are my Christmas panties.

  33. How about I poke holes in the entire contents of the box of extra small condoms I was gonna send you?

    Hahahahahaha. STFU.

  34. My favorite part:

    DO NOT INCLUDE YOUR NAME, YOU TOTAL JACKASS!!!

    hahahahahahahahaha

  35. It’s a good night for a fight.

    MCPO, I question your integrity.

    *hits Pupster in the vulva with a rolled-up magazine*

  36. How about you just count me in already?

    How about you email me like everyone else, lazy dickweed.

    The guy that can’t say “Hello” in less the 5k words won’t write an email saying “Yes”…

    Irony much?

  37. **logs on to email account

    What the…!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/yzwofr7

  38. Yeah, Romy, I’m always a little uncomfortable when Hostages have a convo via email. Most of that business should take place here.

  39. Nice tank, xbrad.

  40. Those are my Christmas panties.

    Hahahahaha. SEXY!!!

    I like how the green giant fist goes with your red panties for a holiday flair.

    *tackles Beasn, administers noogie*

  41. Is Michael invited to join in?

    *crosses fingers..

    * ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease…..

    OH! Wait!! Even better!!!

    Is KKA gonna join in?

  42. 98 emails on an account where I may get two per day. Holy cow.

  43. I might be able to help, Scott. I did teach a class in Excel recently.

    Whattup?

  44. “It’s a good night for a fight.
    MCPO, I question your integrity.
    *hits Pupster in the vulva with a rolled-up magazine*”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  45. So, Laura, that red spot? Is that make up, or is your open oozing sore just happy to see me?

  46. xbrad, what are you uncomfortable about?

  47. Any Microsoft Works experts here? I have an issue with a spreadsheet.

    No but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  48. Dumps maple syrple on Lauraw’s head.

  49. I have a new header pic, but no keys to put it up…

  50. Laura – Comere. I gots something ta show ya

    http://tinyurl.com/yhzetqj

  51. xbrad, what are you uncomfortable about?

    The way you keep begging me for sex. Have some dignity, lady.

  52. The guy that can’t say “Hello” in less the 5k words won’t write an email saying “Yes”…

    Irony much?

    You type pretty well one-handed, but the Buffy Forever fansite called and said that if you don’t log off for awhile, they were going to start to charge you for bandwidth.

  53. Who wants to play the question game?

  54. I have a spreadsheet for calculating packaging costs. On my PC I type the numbers into the boxes and hit tab or enter and the calculation automatically happens. On my laptop it’s not so automatic. I can hit tab or enter and the calculation doesn’t happen, but if I click on some empty boxes the calculation will eventually happen. It’s going to screw me at some point and I would like it to go away. I doubt it’s a Works thing, could it be a Vista thing?

  55. What?
    Why?
    How?
    With whom?
    For how long?
    Are there prizes?
    Are there rules?
    Who are the judges?
    What is the criteria?

    Can I come back later, ’cause I gotta go now?

  56. that levi kid (palin baby daddy) is a douche

  57. I have a spreadsheet for calculating packaging costs. On my PC I type the numbers into the boxes and hit tab or enter and the calculation automatically happens. On my laptop it’s not so automatic. I can hit tab or enter and the calculation doesn’t happen, but if I click on some empty boxes the calculation will eventually happen. It’s going to screw me at some point and I would like it to go away. I doubt it’s a Works thing, could it be a Vista thing?

    Is your laptop plugged in? Try plugging it in and see if that helps.

  58. There’s no “Buffy Forever” fansite.

    I just checked.

    Loser.

  59. Take the coffee out of the “cup holder” on your lap top.

  60. I want to, but I have to pick up my daughter in about 5 minutes.

    BBL

  61. Quit using an Etch-a-Sketch.

  62. that levi kid (palin baby daddy) is a douche

    I will thank you not to slur douche on this blog.

  63. You have the option to have the spreadsheet automatically recalculate or not. You probably have auto calculate turned off on your laptop install and turned on on your PC

  64. ^wiserbud just making shit up as he goes along?

  65. sorry to douches everywhere

    PEACE THROUGH DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  66. Jeez – Doesn’t anyone load their own calculation formulas anymore?

  67. I’m getting up to make myself a drink. Anyone want anything?

  68. Is Michael invited to join in?

    *crosses fingers..

    * ohpleaseohpleaseohpleas

    Wiser, I got your gift picked out already. I just have to follow Casey around with a scoop.

  69. Chief, I’ll have whatever you’re having.

  70. I’ll have whatever has the highest proof.

  71. MCPO,

    I do all my calculations formulas myself.

    Mainly because I can never figure which of the pre-packaged formulas does what I want.

  72. 2 Jameson on the rocks and one double bourbon -straight up, coming up.

  73. Where do I find that? I don’t see auto calculate anywhere.

  74. Thank you, sir.

  75. Check under “tools” (SYWM) and then “options”

  76. Where do I find that? I don’t see auto calculate anywhere.

    Hmmmmmmm…….. I don’t have MS Works, so I’m not sure how to tell you to find it. I suggest using the Help function and searching for auto calculate.

  77. I doubt it’s a Works thing, could it be a Vista thing?

    Hey Scott, F9 is the Recalculate Now command in a Works spreadsheet.

  78. I do all my calculations formulas myself.

    Me too. The new Excel has w-a-a-a-a-y too many buttons.

  79. “Woooow! That’s good booze!” – Jackie Gleason

  80. Someone please tell me why David Brooks is still considered a conservative by anyone. This is a quote from his recent column regarding how the proposed health care bills would be paid for:

    “Rather than pushing all of the new costs onto future generations, as past governments have done, the Democrats have admirably agreed to raise taxes.”

    It’s admirable to take money that I’ve earned and spread it around as some fuckhead in the government deems fit?

    How about this, anyone that thinks that the government confiscating more of their income to pay for the health insurance for the insured is “ADMIRABLE” can opt into a tax revenue pool to pay for that.

    The dumbass, inefficient, corrupt government taking any more of my money for any purpose, I view that as thievery, you pretend-conservative asshole. It’s not admirable by any definition of the word.

    You know what’s admirable? People taking care of themselves and the government (through my tax dollars) taking of those that truly cannot take care of themselves.

    Other than that, leave me the fuck alone.

    *kicks David Brooks in his liberal poon*

  81. MCPO, when we switched to Office 07, it took me a couple weeks to find my ass with both hands and a map.

    They say Office 10 cleans up a lot of that shit. But most of the features in Office never get used and just clutter the thing up.

  82. but if I click on some empty boxes the calculation will eventually happen.

    That;s the weird part. The calculation either happens or it doesn;t happen. “eventually happens” is strange.

    What happens ifyou hit F9? does the spreadsheet recalc?

  83. **gulp**

    Was that the bourbon or the Jameson?

    Either way, I’ll take a refill.

  84. PEACE THROUGH DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hahahahahaha.

    I like that slogan because it’s impossible to disagree with. Who doesn’t want peace through douche?

  85. Who doesn’t want peace through douche?

    *raises hand

  86. Uh, who gets the douche?

  87. **logs on to email account
    What the…!!!

    Sorry Romy

  88. heh. I’m updating my checking account in Quicken and I had to categorize my purchase of TNoM’s book.

    “Entertainment?”

    Ummmmmmm…………… not quite…….

  89. xBrad – Gave you the straight Corner Creek Reserve.

  90. Sorry Romy

    So the new guy is a spammer??????

    BAN HAMMER!!!!!!!

  91. Who doesn’t want peace through douche?

    *raises hand

    MOM!!!!! RICHARD DOESN’T WANT PEACE!!!!!

  92. “Entertainment?”

    Charitable giving.

  93. Scott, you can turn off Manual Calculation in Works by selecting Tools, Options and then the Data Entry tab, and unchecking the box on the right that says Calculate Values Manually.

    Then they calc automatically

  94. Thanks, MCPO.

    I’ll sip the next one.

  95. I just noticed the F9 thing Michael, I will try it when the laptop is free. I tried the help function Wiserbud and it didn’t. The laptop is a pain in the ass. It was a demo model so people have screwed up all of the settings. According to the it my name is CIndy.

  96. It’s admirable to take money that I’ve earned and spread it around as some fuckhead in the government deems fit?

    Where have you been? It’s not your money.

    You know what’s admirable? People taking care of themselves and the government (through my tax dollars) taking of those that truly cannot take care of themselves

    You know what’s better? People taking care of themselves and donating what they feel appropriate to various charities of their choice, who take care of those who cannot. Government needs to get the hell out of it. When the government ‘cuts’ entitlements, people give more.

  97. Sounds good MCPO,
    I am having Makers Mark on the rocks.

  98. Uh, who gets the douche?

    The one who smells like a can of tuna.

  99. I didn’t know Chastity Bono knew karate.

    http://tinyurl.com/6nkl7p

  100. Forrester, it’s okay. It was just a very big surprise. A good percentage were well-wishes and expressions of sympathy, and I would never bitch about those.

  101. PC doesn’t have that option Dave but if the laptop version does you will get 47 Nobel Peace Prizes.

  102. It’s a setting in Works on the menu line of the spreadsheet app.

  103. According to the it my name is CIndy.

    STFU, Cindy.

  104. OMG, has anyone seen the most recent picture of Chas(tity) Bono? ACK!!

  105. This is old but funny
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tRq8ExAHzk&feature=player_embedded

  106. Rosie – Where ya having Thanksgiving dinner? Should I bring a nice Riesling?

  107. WTF?
    MCPO Have you seen this abomination?

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_femhrxbNtS0/SwxzUZPjycI/AAAAAAAACeQ/M715066PR10/s1600/FA-37_PROTOTYPE_02.bmp

    From Stormbringer

  108. PJ, quit hanging at Ace’s and spend quality time here.

    And get me a sammich.

  109. Forrester, that F/A-37 was a prop from the craptacular film “Stealth”

  110. link to above
    http://seanlinnane.blogspot.com/2009/11/cutting-edge-french-technology.html

  111. Scott, I would be happy to help you clean up the PC and get it running better. Let me know when you can part with it for a day or two.

    On that note, I have been given an offer to re-up my subscription to a magazine called Maximum PC. It is a power-user PC mag, that has a lot of great articles geared toward the PC geek. As part of the offer, I get to give a free subscription to someone else for a year.

    We don’t know anyone who would appreciate the magazine. Is anyone here interested?

  112. Rosie – Where ya having Thanksgiving dinner? Should I bring a nice Riesling?

    We are having 11 people to our house so Mrs Rosie and I are in charge although we did farm out some side dishes.

    However Mrs Rosie bought a 22 lb. bird and I’m in charge of cooking that. I’m pretty sure I should put that in the oven right now.

    You bring the scotch and don’t forget to wear pants. My grandma will be here for goodness sakes!!!

  113. Rosie Posie, I’d start that bird super early in the morning.

    We have a huge broiler thingee that plugs in. Super awesome ‘cuz the birdie doesn’t take up any oven space then.

  114. Romy, I tried to comment earlier about your sil (I’m sorry) but the blog ate my comment, and I was at work.

    Now she gets to see those birds, right? you mentioned she was a birder.

  115. Rosie, are you going to brine it?

  116. Forrester, XBrad, was that the one with Jessica Biel? Someone forwarded me that picture and a bunch of others with “wooo, look at the woman pilot.”

  117. I have a 16# bird and it is just mom and I. The rest of the family is out of town, very close to MCPO.

    I am cooking a beercan turkey, oyster dressing, sweet potatoes, broccoli and cheese, gravy, mashed potatoes, and corn. No cranberry’s but pecan pie.

    Lots of left overs.

  118. It’s nice that forrester has decided to join our blog.

    I like new people.

    See forrester? I said it.

    new.people

    wink wink

    I get it

  119. Yep, that’s the one, Romy.

    I tried to watch, and it was unbelievably bad. I mean, I like crappy shows, and this was BAD.

  120. I decided to give Windows 7 a try.

    So far ok.

  121. Not that anyone asked me, but Chastity looked better as a woman.

  122. umm sure PJM.

    I have been thinking of it DiT. But using Ubantu is free.

    I have a interview tomorrow at 8am. Wish me luck.

  123. Best luck Forrester!

  124. I decided to give Windows 7 a try.

    XP works. Why bother upgrading?

  125. Q – if you HAD to choose between “doing” Chastity as a man or a woman … which would you choose.

  126. Thanks, carin.

  127. Not that anyone asked me, but Chastity looked better as a woman.

    Yeah, but not by much.

  128. Q – if you HAD to choose between “doing” Chastity as a man or a woman … which would you choose.

    I think I’d eat a shotgun.

  129. I don’t think anybody wants me buying them a gift

  130. I have a interview tomorrow at 8am. Wish me luck.

    Be sure to mention the Hostages!!!!

    Seriously, good luck, my new friend.

  131. So, no one wants the subscription?

  132. I’m too stupid to benefit from the subscription.

  133. So, no one wants the subscription?

    Some of us do. We just don’t want to give you our address.

  134. TBOM
    you are correct.

  135. Hi Tats. I have a special gif for you I’ve been saving.

    http://tinyurl.com/yztyuev

  136. Forrester, good luck.

    This was free to me by the way, our Microsoft rep wanted me to try it on my home PC and let him know what I thought. I can go back to Vista if I feel like it, I’m just curious.

  137. I don’t think anybody wants me buying them a gift

    Hahahahahahaha. I will match you up with Goatse and you two can exchange fists.

  138. Some of us do. We just don’t want to give you our address.

    Smart man. Seriously, Michael, iffin you want it, send your address to wiserbud at gmail.

    Secret Santa………done!

  139. Forrester, I already picked out your gift

  140. Is the subscription to “Latex ‘n’ Gas-Mask Monthly?

    If not, I’m not interested.

  141. how’re people not going to see the postmark on our gifts? It’s gonna be kind of obvious that a gift from me is not coming from AZ

  142. …I’m just curious.

    That’s the same excuse TBoM used for all the gay sex he had in college.

  143. Latex fetishes remind me of: http://tiny.cc/latexfetish

  144. PJ -STFU and get in the holiday spirit, damnit!!

  145. Hi Tats. I have a special gif for you I’ve been saving.

    Haha pups. I heart Brock Samson. He’s dreamy.

  146. Yeah, what PJM said.

  147. If you ship via UPS or Fedex does it have a postmark? Where the hell is Laura when you need her?

  148. Are you really that concerned that someone might figure out that it was you that sent the gift?

  149. *gels head fur into pompadour*

  150. all I know is that I have to start eating mexican food tomorrow to brew up my gift for one of you…

  151. we’ll know its from PJ when its just an IOU piece of paper worth 100 credits in Mafia Wars

  152. Are you really that concerned that someone might figure out that it was you that sent the gift?

    Did you even read the post jackhole? They’re supposed to try and guess.

  153. we’ll know its from PJ when its just an IOU piece of paper worth 100 credits in Mafia Wars

    What? You didn’t like the untraceable cell phones I sent you?

    k, off to take the kids to wrestling now

  154. PJ, I read the post. I’m quite familiar with Secret Santa. But why fuck up something relatively simple with minor concerns. That’s why a simple bill in Congress winds up being 1100 pages.

  155. Gee, what could possibly go wrong with this whole idea?

  156. quick idea before I go

    it’d also be fun to have everyone post what items they got and have everyone try to guess who sent it.

  157. I am in a personal recession, I have cut the $25 vodka to the $10. I call it recession vodka. Or unemployment Vodka.

    kind of like drinking miller instead of mic.

  158. Gee, what could possibly go wrong with this whole idea?

    I get your name?

    I know just what to get.

  159. “Gee, what could possibly go wrong with this whole idea?”

    Other than Tbom having your real name and meat world address?

  160. I sure hope I get PJM in the Secret Santa draw….

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jIMSuVQ9xEb2GAAvTqy9PmAZX2uQD9C5QASO0

  161. Everyone is just gonna end up with poo pens, inflatable toast, or autographed photos of Goatse.

  162. it’d also be fun to have everyone post what items they got and have everyone try to guess who sent it.

    Okay, all togeher now……

    D’uh.

  163. If you get a slightly abused inflatable sheep, don’t just assume I drew your name in Secret Santa.

  164. bbl.

  165. $20 worth of carbon credits. Don’t spend ’em all in the same place, ‘tard.

  166. Last year Puka gave me a t-shirt that said:

    Why, yes, I am a jackass. Thank you for asking.

  167. A donation has been made in your name to the Life Foundation.

  168. Ok, here’s one thing I like, although I don’t know if it’s Windows 7 or IE 8, a browser can lock on a particular site but the other tabbed browser windows still work.

    I like that.

    and pie. I like pie more actually. But that browser thing is ok too

  169. You just bought an African village a cow through Heifer International.

  170. a six pack of FLEET and a wooden butt plug

  171. Does it have to be a “gag” gift. For example, anything TBoM would send?

  172. I like chocolate chip cookies

    without the exlax

  173. I’m not sending BiW a thesaurus. It might give him some ideas.

  174. Mare…if I got you, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself…but you would have to stock up on ‘D’ batteries

  175. A “gag” gift, where actual “gagging” is involved?

  176. “Congratulations on your new subscription to Hosefuckers Weekly”

  177. Sally Struthers sex for a week.

    For the children.

  178. Good luck with the interview, Forrestirer!

  179. Thanks Cyn.

    Heheh
    MiT

  180. Is Forrester retarded?

  181. How many pounds of mayonnaise can I get for twenty bucks?

  182. It’s like you guys are freaking twins, TBOM

  183. You bet TBOM

  184. I just boobled “goathearders magazine” and lookie what popped up:
    http://tinyurl.com/yh68kfp

  185. How many pounds of mayonnaise can I get for twenty buck?

    $20 worth of Spotted Dick would be funnier than mayo. Unless you’re xbrad and then are equally as funny.

  186. Just took a Rasmussen Reports poll. Lots of “strongly disapprove” involved there.

  187. How many pounds of mayonnaise can I get for twenty bucks?

    Like 30 if you make it at home. It’s only got like 4 ingredients.

  188. The perfect gift

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJvbZZWt9g4

  189. I thought $20 was the going rate for spotted dick.

  190. phone lines are closed. we have a winner for the free subscription. please no more calls.

  191. I didn’t know Rasmussen Reports did a poll on banning sex with farm animals.

  192. Hey, new guy, best, best, wishes for a great interview tomorrow!

  193. Just read the entire Allahpundit/SEALs thread at the moron HQ.

  194. STFU, Spotted Richard.

  195. Hey Subaru guy – good luck with the interview.

  196. for $20 bucks will get you 20 BJ’s from Cyn

  197. “Just read the entire Allahpundit/SEALs thread at the moron HQ.”

    Well, what do you think? I hope Allah got ripped sufficiently. Why is this Seal thing even an issue? How does anyone know? Aren’t they supposed to kick some ass? We are turning into a nation of pussies.

  198. Spotted Dick???

    There’s medicate for that now, you know.

  199. Mare- No. Too many people defending the shithead!

  200. here’s some head wax for Rosetta

  201. $20 bucks will get you 20 BJ’s from Cyn

    $20 bucks will get you 40 BJ’s from Allahpundit.

  202. WHAT??????

  203. “$20 bucks will get you 40 BJ’s from Allahpundit.”

    Ace gives them to Allah for free.

  204. Pop music:
    Too many people

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbsBexn3Uac

  205. Ace gives them to Allah for free.

    HAHAHAHA!

  206. A BJ priced at $1 or less isn’t worth it. You might think there’s no such thing as a bad BJ.

    You’d be wrong.

  207. TBoM, consider this an early gift:

    http://tinyurl.com/yblkyjj

  208. *not gonna touch the low-hanging fruit tonight*

  209. A BJ priced at $1 or less isn’t worth it. You might think there’s no such thing as a bad BJ.

    You’d be wrong.

    Leon use to get $1 a week allowance, so he knows his shit

  210. Ace gives them to Allah for free.

    True dat! What happens to Ace when Allah crosses the Rubicon into Charles Johnson territory? Does Ace go with him as a loyal Centurion?

  211. In 1983, $1 was decent money. It still didn’t buy a good BJ.

  212. This seal thing is a no-brainer to me. What was Allah’s point again? That this is not good because of the bad PR? Does he know a war is going on? What a sell out.

  213. MCPO, my fervent hope is that Ace will at least take the Brutus route before he inevitably kills off his own blog not too long after.

  214. In 1983, $1 was decent money. It still didn’t buy a good BJ.

    Just because you were only making a dollar, doesn’t excuse you slackin’ off.

  215. Wouldn’t that be sad if the day really came that we make fun of Ace the way we all did at Cahrles Jhonson?

  216. I used to buy a rose for $1 at 7-11 and then give it to a girl and tell her I loved her.

    Half the time I got a blow job from the girl I gave the rose to. The other half I got a blow job from the 7-11 chick.

    SAVE MONEY WIN!!!!

  217. Forrester, while you’re waiting for your interview to begin, psych yourself up by repeating the following mantra in your head:

    YOU’RE THE MAN NOW, DOG!!!

  218. XBrad, I earned my money raking leaves, mowing, and shoveling snow. For a buck a week.

    I spent the dollars on bad BJs.

  219. Hey, that guy at Little Green Footballs has an awesome post up.

    Just kidding.

  220. Cyn, it would be as though a relative had died. One that I liked.

  221. I spent the dollars on bad BJs.

    What is this “bad BJs” that you speak of?

  222. Zero-tolerance is such a wonderful policy. That’s why it works so well in schools.

  223. Cyn…yes.

  224. XBrad, I earned my money raking leaves tossing salad, mowing shaving pubes, and shoveling snow felching hobos. For a buck a week.

    I spent the dollars on bad BJs.

    FTFY

  225. “Hey, that guy at Little Green Footballs has an awesome post up.
    Just kidding.”

    I love that joke. I think you fooled me once with it.

  226. Leon, Mare: agreed

    Totally unrelated:
    The thrill is gone…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC4DDkye8FU

  227. Rosie, count yourself lucky to not know. I wish I could share your ignorance of the evils to which I’ve been subjected, the horror of it, and yet it lingers still, haunting my dreams.

  228. Rosie, count yourself lucky to not know. I wish I could share your ignorance of the evils to which I’ve been subjected, the horror of it, and yet it lingers still, haunting my dreams.

    You were drunk and found out too late it was a tranny, right?

  229. Brad, trannies don’t give bad ones. You mostly get bad one from girls who think they give good ones and who’ve never been told different.

  230. Leon. does it involve the inappropriate use of teeth?

    *shudder*

    That’s why I only get BJ’s from chicks with dentures. She takes her teeth out, I take my toupee off and we have a good time IYKWISAITTYD.

    This has turned into the worst thread ever.

  231. Brad, trannies don’t give bad ones. You mostly get bad one from girls who think they give good ones and who’ve never been told different.

    your mom know you talk behind her back like this?

  232. While I’m in a crappy mood, what’s with the “redaction” of “objectionable” comments? Either get rid of them all together or let them stand! It’s like a fucking high school girl blacking out the stuff in her yearbook that she doesn’t like!

  233. What the heck you pissing about Chief?

  234. LIt’s like a fucking high school girl blacking out the stuff in her yearbook that she doesn’t like!

    CROSSED THE LINE!!!!!

  235. Brad, trannies don’t give bad ones.

    I think I’ll take your word for it.

  236. I’m gonna get off the BJ topic now. TBOM’s getting uncomfortable because he doesn’t know what we’re talking about.

  237. Cyn – Comments over at Ace’s. Try to keep up, woodja?

  238. “LIt’s like a fucking high school girl blacking out the stuff in her yearbook that she doesn’t like!”

    I don’t think it’s exactly like that.

    What happened to this thread?

  239. *shields head with arm and cowers*

    thanks Chiefie

  240. “Leon. does it involve the inappropriate use of teeth?
    *shudder*”

    Yeah, what else could go wrong?

  241. Mare – What is it exactly like then?

  242. Chief ranting about people removing objectionable comments makes me laugh and piss myself

  243. Cyn – I’ve never hit a women in my life.

  244. I know, MCPO, just having a bit of fun. {Hugs}

  245. Well, a girl buys her yearbook and can throw it in the trash or stick it in her cat box or anything else. It’s hers to do what she wants with. Cross out what she likes. Now if your still mad she did that to YOURS well, then I guess you’re right.

  246. TBOM – Once again, your lack of comprehension is showing. I’m talking about the method. It’s Ace’s blog so, if he wants to remove comments, fine. Just do it in some manner that doesn’t appear to have been done by a 16 yo girl.

  247. Are we talking about ace’s thread or Allah’s?

  248. oops…..you’re

  249. Cyn – I’ve never hit a women in my life.

    …..not counting his own vag.

  250. MCPO, I think I’m going to read that thread.

  251. Either I’m too drunk to communicate my point or you people are too stupid to figure out what I’m talking about.

  252. Maybe both.

  253. I don’t even know which thread at Ace’s you’re thrashing yourself on, but in the grand scheme of life, is it that big a deal that it’s keeping you from posting some good tunes here?

    See here’s one I know you’d pick!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfeFDEl6_lw

  254. HEY!!! You’re not as Think as Drunk as you Am!

  255. Go to Ace’s. Click on Jimbo’s post regarding Allahpundit’s take on the SEAL case. Open the comments thingy. You’ll see at least one comment that has been “redacted”.

    jesusfuckingchristonachristmastree!

  256. heheheh. Funniest comment in the AP thread:

    yeah, I see how much you love me. Did you show up to visit when wiserbud came to town?

    no

    you didn’t

    heh.

  257. Hey, as I’m reading the Seal/allah thread it occurred to me this is the plot of Extreme Measures by Vince Flynn.

    Everything that guy writes is absolutely happening.

  258. HOT ROD!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhKiqo-nqm0

  259. MCPO, I’m redacting my statements made about the yearbook girl.

  260. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq1GeHcTPlY

    Some listening music for perusing. God I love this song.

  261. This is the holiday season. We’re supposed to be nice to each other and shit, you fucking assholes!!

    WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?!?!?!?!

    http://tinyurl.com/yz5nwr2

    *slams bedroom door*

  262. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME?!?!?!?!

    ’cause we hate you?

  263. >> You’ll see at least one comment that has been “redacted”.

    I don’t see it. Which comment number?

    I see a couple where the commenter pressed the enter key a dozen times after typing an entry. That wasn’t edited by anybody.

  264. I have no ikea what we’re talking about. Are we live-blogging threads at other blogs?

    Don’t make me link more latex bullshit.

  265. We know you’re in there Rosetta!!!
    http://tinyurl.com/arzk6

  266. damn…Rosetta is REALLY crossing the line!

  267. Hahahaha … from Dan Collins’ Twitter feed:

    RT @123arnie: The show I want to see on Fox is “So You Think You Can Fuck?” | LOL

  268. I’m watching the Forever Knight marathon. I love this show.

    Edward Cullen is just a sparkly sissyboy, Nick is da man.

  269. I’m not reading Ace’s. I’m christmas shopping for my secreting santa while I listen to musack
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OHJP1BSVgM

  270. Don’t make me link more latex bullshit.

    latex bullshit?

    Hmmmm……

    I think I know what I’m getting for my Secret Santa…..

  271. its about time I told everyone….I’m gay…really gay….balls on my chin 24/7 gay

  272. I’m allergic to latex; just so you know wiserbud. 😉

  273. its about time I told everyone….I’m gay…really gay….balls on my chin 24/7 gay

    You like Judas Priest too?

  274. I’m a little concerned that Cyn’s already shopping for her secret santa and doesn’t even know who it is yet.

  275. I’m allergic to latex; just so you know wiserbud.

    How about lambskin?

  276. I never slammed my door when I was growing up and neither do my girls. A) my dad would have kicked my ass across the street and B) I would kick my girls’ asses across the street.

    And none of us are drama queens like Rosetta.

  277. I have no ikea what we’re talking about. Are we live-blogging threads at other blogs?

    I’m live-blogging a Summer’s Eve commercial.

    “No. What the fuck are you talking about, you fucking skank? Did you get the Clap AGAIN???!!”

  278. How about lambskin?

    Ooo, I don’t know. Is it cute, fuzzy, and cuddly?

  279. Huh, whut?
    Hi Mare!

  280. Hi, creepy new guy.

  281. I slammed the door to my bedroom. Once. That’s a policy with my boys now.

  282. YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?????

    WHEN THIS POS BLOG SAYS I’M COMMENTING TOO QUICKLY!!!

  283. CROSSING THE LINE is a good litmus test blog.

    If they don’t shut that fucker down, they’re never shutting H2 down.

    *slips on own barf*

  284. Here’s the perfect racist song to accompany this poat

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vPfOjAw5Z0

  285. Ooo, I don’t know. Is it cute, fuzzy, and cuddly?

    Well, at the start…..

  286. Hi, creepy new guy.

    I’m not new.

  287. Random observation sparked by Drew’s most recent comment “over there”. People disagree all the damned time. So… why do people blog w/ the expectation that readers are coming from the same background, with the same thought process, and are going to agree?

  288. I slammed the door to my bedroom. Once. That’s a policy with my boys now.

    The one and only time I ever slammed my door, we lived in base housing where the doors were hollow and metal. I slammed that 500lb, metal behemoth on my fucking fingers. Never slammed another door again.

  289. Great point Tat.

    HEY! Did you get a new piece of furniture delivered today?

  290. WHEN THIS POS BLOG SAYS I’M COMMENTING TOO QUICKLY!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You are the only person that I know that it does that to.

    Maybe you should spend time between comments shopping for my Christmas gift.

  291. *slips on own barf*

    Drinking Bailey’s again?

  292. HEY! Did you get a new piece of furniture delivered today?

    *wails*

    NO! Not until Friday. I don’t think I can wait that long.

  293. My boss in Germany decided to switch from cassettes to CDs (this was 89) and to raise cash, sold all his tapes. I bought a shitload, including a complete Judas Priest catalog. The cassettes came in those briefcase style holders.

    He called them the “Suitcases of Satan”

  294. Lambskin sounds lovely…how do I look?
    http://tinyurl.com/yjnqloa

  295. More latex: http://tinyurl.com/lggpokerface

  296. Someone remind me…

    Why haven’t we banned xbrad?

  297. one time when we were on vacation, I got out of the 1970 plymouth satellite. My Mom told me to get her purse.

    I could not reach it.

    My brother closed my fingers into the door of the plymouth.

    That hurt

  298. Drinking Bailey’s again?

    HAR! How was last weekend on a scale of 1 o 10? 1 is realizing you just got a BJ from a tranny and 10 is that you’re xbrad.

  299. Somebody get up and make me another drink, woodja?

  300. Lambskin sounds lovely…how do I look?

    humina humina humina……

  301. Wiser – My brother, Mike, slammed the door to his room once. The old man took it off the hinges and he didn’t get it back for a week.

  302. 1 is realizing you just got a BJ from a tranny and 10 is that you’re xbrad.

    27.

  303. Hows about an Absolut rocks, Chief? Hmmm I believe I have one of those myself.

  304. My boss in Germany decided to switch from cassettes to CDs (this was 89) and to raise cash, sold all his tapes made a Scheisse video. I bought a shitload…

    Moar accurate.

  305. Wiser – My brother, Mike, slammed the door to his room once. The old man took it off the hinges and he didn’t get it back for a week.

    Okay.

    o_O

  306. I just killed a bottle of Jameson. Must be time for Bushmills!

  307. More latex: http://tinyurl.com/lggpokerface

    ARGH, MOO’N!!!! I was proud of the fact that I never heard a Lady Gaga song until that was on the radio last Saturday when I was running errands.

    I thought it was pretty good and then I found out who it was, I chopped off my own head with a poleaxe and put it in the wood chipper.

    That will show me to listen to that trash.

  308. New guy’s been drinking. Hey new guy, get a good sleep for your interview…..which you are going to ACE!

  309. Am I going to be goatse-fied if I Booble Scheisse, SeAnM?

  310. heheh,
    I got him back, and unknowingly slammed his fingers in the bedroom door.

    He broke 2 of mine, I gave him 20 stitches.

    I guess that is =

  311. Somebody get up and make me another drink, woodja?

    Drive the Rascal to the kitchen and get it yourself. While you’re in there, I’ll take a beer.

  312. Somebody get up and make me another drink, woodja?

    I thought we got you that Hoveround so you’d be able to do that shit for yourself.

    MOBILITY FAIL!!!!!!

  313. Somebody get up and make me another drink, woodja?

    NURSE!!!

  314. I thought it was pretty good and then I found out who it was, I chopped off my own head with a poleaxe and put it in the wood chipper.

    This is why I only listen to talk radio.

  315. fixed it Mare,
    Thanks

  316. **figures he better not comment on the Lady GaGa video**

  317. Rosetta, keeps mentioning a “poleaxe” which I’m certain he’s never used. Maybe his wife across his knees.

  318. Am I going to be goatse-fied if I Booble Scheisse, SeAnM?

    Scheiße=shit

  319. Rosie, there’s a much better version of that song:

    http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/254171/?tab=featured

  320. LOL, Rosetta!

    Lady Gaga really brings out the What The Freak?! Her songs are weird; her videos and choreography and costuming is out of this world.

    Literally, perhaps?

  321. good stuff M’oo’oo’oo’n

  322. Thanks Tat. My german is non-existent. Hell, the last time I was at a german restaurant, I accidentally wondered aloud if they cooked with gas.

  323. Andy: That was quite enjoyable! Thanks!

  324. Andy – Heineken or Yuengling?

  325. Santa! Bad touch! No!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d5GWjH_ewQ

  326. Cyn, wanna touch my elf?

  327. HEY!!! AWESOME SAVE THE POLAR BEAR UPDATE!!!!

    One of the 7-year eco-friendly light bulbs that bought a year ago for $6 just burnt out!!

    Thank you Al Gore you fucking sword-swallowing assface fat fuck!!

    *starts lawn mower for no reason*

  328. heheheh
    PA has a good one at teh head morons!
    http://minx.cc/?post=295120

  329. Here’s the real one xbrad, but DON’T GET ANY IDEAS

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFEfmbAeEDY

  330. “Thank you Al Gore you fucking sword-swallowing assface fat fuck!!
    *starts lawn mower for no reason*”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    This is why I love Rosetta.

  331. Calling it a night, y’all

    beat that MesainTexas

  332. Imma calling it a night.

    Sweet Dreams All

  333. “One of the 7-year eco-friendly light bulbs that bought a year ago for $6 just burnt out!!”

    hahahahahahaha…I don’t know if you know this but you need a haz-mat suit if they break because of the mercury in them. LOSER!!!

  334. Sweet dreams, CYN!

  335. Hmmm, forrester and Cyn leave the party at the same time. . .

  336. Yuengling. Thanks.

  337. OH MY GOSH…..IT JUST SAID I WAS POSTING TOO QUICKLY AGAIN.

    I HATE YOU ALL!

  338. It’s only 10:08 here in Texas.

    Right behind you — I went back to Gilhooleys today and ate more of those ersters.

    And beer.

  339. Rosie, just wait until they tell you you have to replace all your haz-mat CFL’s with LED lights.

  340. Cyn said Bad Touch

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTW8oUV8Aq0

  341. And — FUCK ALL Y’ALL!

  342. Mesa -very good. Now, if you could just stop saying, “pop”.

  343. Now, if you could just stop saying, “pop”.

    It’s coke. And you have to remember to ask what kind.

  344. And — FUCK ALL Y’ALL!

    Redundant. Fuck y’all would do just fine.

  345. What flavor coke?

  346. Dr Pepper.

  347. Ate some fried boudain balls, too.

  348. Andy’s up in Mass right? That explains why he doesn’t understand that all y’all is a very valid phrase that includes the entire crowd.

  349. hahahahahahaha…I don’t know if you know this but you need a haz-mat suit if they break because of the mercury in them. LOSER!!!

    FUCK OFF!!!

    *mails mercury from stupid gay bulb to Al Gore*

    I wonder what Al Gore has to say about climategate.

    Nice hockey stick, fat boy.

  350. y’all is a very valid phrase that includes the entire crowd.

    Ummm … Tatts … that was my point.

    The “all” in “all y’all” isn’t necessary.

    Native Georgian here.

  351. More ersters?

    Damn that sounds good

  352. Fuck summa y’all has a point to it, however.

    You just have to figure out who.

  353. I wonder what Al Gore has to say about climategate.

    Did you see the video of Ed Begly’s meltdown over Climategate? Priceless.

  354. I just throw the eco friendly bulbs in my neighbors’ yard.

    Oh, and Rosie, count me in for Secret Santa

  355. >> And — FUCK ALL Y’ALL!

    Very good. Also points on the “coke”.

  356. “FUCK OFF!!!
    *mails mercury from stupid gay bulb to Al Gore*”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    (You may need to write a post on Al Gore and his idiocy…and those idiots that believe him.)

  357. *mails mercury from stupid gay bulb to Al Gore*

    Ya know, that’s not a bad idea.

  358. “I just throw the eco friendly bulbs in my neighbors’ yard.”

    hahahahahahahaha

  359. Andy – first time I heard “all y’all” was in Valdosta.

  360. Gore’s too busy moving his money offshore right now to comment on ClimateGate.

  361. MCPO, in a nut shell what did Bagley say?

  362. Did you see the video of Ed Begly’s meltdown over Climategate?

    link?

  363. If I make it to TX, I’m still calling it “pop”. Hey, I won’t be bringing the failed policies of MI with me, so I’d say I deserve a mulligan.

  364. The “all” in “all y’all” isn’t necessary.

    Native Georgian here.

    *eyeballs Andy*

    I’m dunno if I’m buying that native claim.

  365. Would someone please call Michell Obama and tell her to lay off the eye brow pencil. For heaven’s sake, she looks like a maniac.

  366. Valdosta? Just passin’ through, I presume.

    Because, other than getting from GA to FL on I-75, there’s not much else there.

  367. Andy – I was living in Jacksonville, Fl near the airport. We went up for a steam engine train excursion. I’m a train buff.

  368. I’m dunno if I’m buying that native claim.

    Unlike Barry, I’ll let you see my birth certificate. The picture is a spittin’ image, too … except I had more hair then.

  369. Mesa – They have those in NC too!?!?

  370. Mare: they wouldn’t notice. They cut their grass or rake their leaves about once a month

  371. Born in SD. Give me about 5 min on the phone w/ the relatives from AL/FL and I sound just like I’m back there. Of course, if you give me 5 minutes of Boston I sound like that too. Odd thing is, I know there are differences between Brit/NZ/Aus/SAfrica, and I can hear them, but I have the damnedest time telling you what they are.

  372. Aha. Jacksonville’s basically South Georgia anyway. Especially one Saturday in late Oct./early Nov.

    When I was a little kid, my dad and I took a steam engine train ride from Macon to somewhere south … maybe Albany. Fun times.

  373. I actually used to respect Ed for his willingness to walk the walk, as opposed to almost all of the other hypocrites who demand that I cut back on my lifestyle, while they live large.

    After watching his outburst, I see that he is just as full of shit as the rest of the GW morons.

    Damn shame. I guess it must truly hurt to see your sham science exposed for all the world to see.

  374. http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bighollywood/2009/11/24/ed-begley-jr-loses-it-on-fox-news/

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Fucking hilarious. I actually respect Ed Begley for living like an idiot if that’s what he wants to do. That’s more than anyone can say about Al Gore.

    Has any journalist ever asked any of these jackasses what percentage of global warming, to whatever extent it exists, is caused by man vs. what is natural?

    I always come back to that as the bottom-line question as to whether we should get our panties in a bunch. If these Nazis can’t answer that question then they need to shut the fuck up already.

  375. Begly has now lost all respect from the skeptics. He’s just another screaming, left-wing turd muncher.

  376. Think about it, Wiser. The fuckers at UEA CRU have been paid millions of dollars to play with computer models trying to turn a fucking tree into a thermometer (a “Treemometer” in ClimateAudit snark).

    Is it any wonder they circled their wagons the second a smart guy like McIntyre came nosing around looking for the raw data?

    The ClimateGate email exchange reminds me of Gov. LePetomane … “We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!”

  377. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3f5_1259002434

  378. Ed Begley joins the long list of pseudo-intellectual, smug, obnoxious assholes who refuses to actually discuss a subject and prefers, instead, to be a dick.

    Nice work, Ed. If you expected to convert anyone to your side with that idiotic, immature display, EPIC FAIL!!!

  379. >> This makes no sense —

    We’re perfectly willing to rake in state revenue from Gator fans.

  380. So Ed’s argument is to turn to the peer reviewed publications, when the gist of the CRU emails shows they were striving to keep skeptics out of peered reviewed publications.

    Hmmmm.

  381. what is sad is that you could probably take my Althouse post over at DPUD, put Begley in her place and green bullshit in place of Obama, and it would be damn near the same post.

  382. Andy – You noted, of course, that all of the alphabet networks led their broadcasts with the “Climategate” scandal, no doubt.

  383. Has any journalist ever asked any of these jackasses what percentage of global warming, to whatever extent it exists, is caused by man vs. what is natural?

    Awww, come on Rosie, it’s so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.

    Warming is caused by man.

    Natural variability only accounts for the unexplained cooling of the last 10 years.

  384. I thought the ozone hole was supposed to cure global warming or something?

    *shakes fist at sky*

    OZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!!!!!

  385. Michael????

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/yjwkxh3

  386. If only I knew about this game 20 years ago.

    http://tinyurl.com/yzt8bb6

  387. I reject the initial premise that the earth is warming. It has been cyclical, so what goes up will go down. It’s the earth-sun we can’t control it.

  388. Andy – You noted, of course, that all of the alphabet networks led their broadcasts with the “Climategate” scandal, no doubt.

    I saw that. Glad they’re on the case.

    And the NYT is marvelously consistent in its treatment of ClimateGate and leaked information that could impact national security. Bravo!

    Fuckers.

  389. Here’s a great development in ClimateGate: http://spectator.org/blog/2009/11/24/climate-gate-development-cei-f

  390. I reject the initial premise that the earth is warming. It has been cyclical, so what goes up will go down. It’s the earth-sun we can’t control it.

    http://tinyurl.com/ygqsne8

  391. OK, my liver just yelled, “UNCLE!”. I’m out but I’ll be back for more during my KP duties tomorrow. I plan to start drinking at 12:01 pm.

  392. Awww, come on Rosie, it’s so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.

    Warming is caused by man.

    These are not the droids you’re blah blah….

    I will give the “consensus of scientists” a 10% margin of making shit up out of thin air error if they can tell me what percentage of global warming is caused by man and show me the supporting data.

    But maybe they should start by proving that there is a warming trend.

    *runs outside naked*

    *freezes dick off*

    *appreciates fact I was born with an extra dick*

    You know what proving global warming is like? Hunting snipe.

  393. I used to buy magazines like Discover and SciAm to read while traveling. I stopped doing that a few years ago, as they became more and more political than scientific.

    Damn shame. I actually used to enjoy reading those mags.

  394. Thanks, Andy!

    I’m going to throw that in the pile with all the others.

  395. I bid you goodnight, good friends. I shall see you on Turkey Eve.

    http://tinyurl.com/dhjb8a

  396. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Take that grandma!!!!

  397. Not that I’d ever go full-bore geek on y’all, but the real victim here is science itself.

    The massiveness of this fraud*, when it is fully laid bare, will destroy public trust in science to our detriment. Lots of medical advances, vaccines, GMO crops, etc. will never exist because of these arrogant cocksuckers.

    * The part that is a fraud is really catastrophic AGW. Richard Lindzen of MIT, one of the most famous of the “deniers” says climate sensitivity to a doubling of CO2 is about 0.5C. The IPCC says 2.5C. Lindzen, therefore, must be portrayed as a crank because he’s not running around shouting ZOMFG!!!WE’REALLGONNAFUCKINGFRY!!!!11!!!1

  398. I like the name “CRUtape Letters.” Teaching each other their methods of deception.

    We do a family white elephant every year. Every year, I give something cool and fun, like Hungry Hungry Hippos, and get something completely lame, like an ugly laptop case that doesn’t fit my laptop and has a ten-cent book from the resale store stuffed inside. So, for the white elephant this year, I’m giving herpes* and a box of peppermint bark.

    *Really.

  399. Oh, to add more science geekishness to this far-ranging Christmas poat, land use changes* dwarf CO2 or other GHG emissions as the human activity that most impacts climate.

    * Like the ones that caused the Kilimanjaro snow cap to recede, Al Gore, you stupid, fat fuck.

    P.S. This may be an issue I get really worked up about.

  400. *wakes up*

    *tackles Mrs Peel*

    *goes back to bed*

  401. Mrs. Peel, if you ask nicely, I’ll share my herpes with you.

  402. Peppermint bark is awesome.

    Sweet dreams, Rosetta….you big goof. Kisses forehead.

  403. I’m giving a sound recording of myself reading the wit and wisdom of Barack Obama. That’s right. 60 minutes of blessed silence. It will ruin my reputation as an insufferable bloviator, but I love you retards enough to take the hit.

  404. All packed up for the trip tomorrow. This is going to be weird.

  405. I haven’t liked peppermint bark ever since I learned that it was made of the ground-up bones of Peppermint Patty from Peanuts.

    Sweet dreams, Mare. If you think this is funny, you’re a racist:

  406. Prayers and condolences, Roamy.

  407. Rocket Chick, you have my prayers and I will be thinking about you and your family. I’m sorry you have such a tough situation to deal with at all, much less during Thanksgiving.

    Whatever good vibes I have, I will send your way.

  408. Uh, oh, I’m racist.

  409. Thank you Al Gore you fucking sword-swallowing assface fat fuck!!

    *starts lawn mower for no reason*

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  410. Roamy, your Hostage family is here to talk about any of the sad stuff.

    And also to rip on Al Gore. I thought that was hilarious too.

  411. Was just watching these guys on Conan. I like.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU7LZts87Zg

  412. Best wishes to you and your family, Roamy.

  413. Rosie, it makes me feel better that I drove his parents up there last month to see her, and I put Mr. RFH on a plane to see her, before it was too late.

    2009 can kiss my ass.

  414. Thank you, everyone.

  415. **hugs Romy**

    **gently pats fanny**

    Hang in there, kiddo.

  416. Rosie, it makes me feel better that I drove his parents up there last month to see her, and I put Mr. RFH on a plane to see her, before it was too late.

    Those were good things, no question.

    2009 can kiss my ass.

    After it kisses your ass, I’m going to kill it, freeze it and then put it in the wood chipper.

  417. Roamy, 2010 has got to be a good one.

  418. Rosetta, hit it with a poleaxe……hahahahahaha….like you know how to wield one.

  419. Rosetta + poleaxe = fantasy

  420. I have about 20 emails already for secret Santa and a couple are from people that comment here but rarely which is fun.

    This is either going to be hilarious or I’m going to end up getting arrested.

  421. hahahahahaha

  422. After it kisses your ass, I’m going to kill it, freeze it and then put it in the wood chipper.

    Can I have the pelt? I mean, before the wood chipper and all.

    * Crosses fingers and hopes he’s Roamy’s secret Santa *

  423. Rosetta, how will you end up with a SS?

  424. Sweet dreams, Mare. If you think this is funny, you’re a racist:

    Uh-oh. I think I just turned into David Duke.

  425. Rosetta, hit it with a poleaxe……hahahahahaha….like you know how to wield one.

    Oh like you do, cheeseburger head.

  426. Rosie, you didn’t answer my question from my second email.

  427. Take care Roamy.

  428. Only morons with a knight’s templar fantasy know how to use one. I just thinks it’s funny that mister man keeps using the term “poleaxe.”

    POLEAXE DOUCHE!!!

  429. whirrr whirrr whirrrrrr
    http://tinyurl.com/y9gu4t3

  430. I don’t know about a poleaxe, but I can dismount cavalry with a pike.

  431. I will admit that I did not know what a poleaxe was until earlier this year.

    Someone used the word “poleaxed” in a column and I looked it up and was impressed.

    Also, STFU.

  432. NCIS is a great show!!

  433. Poleaxes, pikes and halberds were all used as anti-cavalry weapons by the infantry.

    Why bother trying to kill a cav trooper when you can just kill his horse?

  434. I actually like it when Hostages use terms my parent’s use. Really.

  435. I will admit that I did not know what a poleaxe was until earlier this year.

    It’s an axe that you hack up strippers with, right?

  436. Brad: If some of teh Hostages were around in the Middle Ages, I fear the horses would have been violated.

  437. xbrad, if you ever say that again I will kill you!

    I WILL!!!!

  438. Ok, that does it! I’m officially suing the Boston Beer Co. (NYSE: SAM).

    I mean, this is like the 4th or 5th or 6th or 7th one of these bottles in a row that has sprung a leak. Oh, they’re fine when they’re in the fridge, but it seems like you open the top one second and they’re empty the next.

  439. night fagz

  440. My dad use to use the term “poleaxe.” I don’t remember the circumstances.

  441. Rosie, you didn’t answer my question from my second email.

    DONE!!!

    Only morons with a knight’s templar fantasy know how to use one. I just thinks it’s funny that mister man keeps using the term “poleaxe.”

    POLEAXE DOUCHE!!

    It’s comments like this why everyone hates Mare.

    *hits Mare in neck with stick from tree*

  442. Good night, Eddie. Sweet dreams.

  443. Mare, that was the thinking behind it.

    I’d never hurt a horsey. Much. Unless she liked it.

  444. I actually like it when Hostages use terms my parent’s use. Really.

    MARE’S PARENTS COMMUNITY THEATER PRESENTS…

    Maremom: “Who’s that faggot with the poleaxe?”

    Maredad: “Shut your whore mouth.”

    FIN

  445. “It’s comments like this why everyone hates Mare.”

    hahahahaha

    Isn’t this worse:

    “Poleaxes, pikes and halberds were all used as anti-cavalry weapons by the infantry.”
    xbrad

  446. Now what should we talk about?

  447. “Maremom: “Who’s that faggot with the poleaxe?”
    Maredad: “Shut your whore mouth.”
    FIN”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    It’s like you were at my house.

  448. Mare, ever since I was 4 and that fucking pony ran me into a fucking tree, I’ve been a little leery of our equine friends.

  449. I was in the Society for Creative Anachronism when I was in college (nerd bonus +78). Knowing the difference between a glaive, a halberd, and a guisarme also helps in D&D. Everywhere else gets you funny looks.

  450. “Now what should we talk about?”

    Whether or not you could bench press 75 pounds or not?

    I don’t know what I’m saying.

  451. *hits thread in neck with poleaxe*

  452. thanks Mare.

    Rosie, STFU and put me down as Secret Santa of Sexy Awesomeness.

  453. “made of the ground-up bones of Peppermint Patty”

    You and your damned wood chipper, Chuck.

  454. what’s the most embarrassing story from your youth that your parents always feel compelled to mention at social functions?

    My mom always tells the story of driving to Jax when I was a sick infant.

  455. Thank you, Rosie.

  456. Whether or not you could bench press 75 pounds or not?

    I could bench press that with my junk.

    Are you drunk Mare?

  457. Now what should we talk about?

    The Large Hadron Collider. Doesn’t it sound gay?

  458. “*hits thread in neck with poleaxe*”

    hahahahahahaha

  459. I was having a discussion today with mom about why she shouldn’t heat her coffee in the microwave…

    http://xkcd.com/654/

  460. Now what should we talk about?

    Which is better: Godfather or Godfather II?

    Discuss.

  461. Did you know that Goatse works for the Large Hadron Collider?

    True story.

    Also, that freakshow Congressdouche Alan Grayson frightens me with his ginormous head.

    It’s like an orange on a toothpick.

    And his hair is 94 shades too black for his age. He looks like Snow White after you ate a bunch of acid.

  462. They should just call it the Ginormous Lemon Party.

  463. Now what should we talk about?

    What’s worse: Demolition Man or Judge Dredd?

    Discuss.

  464. It’s like an orange on a toothpick.

    don’t act like you thought of that line

  465. Rosie, STFU and put me down as Secret Santa of Sexy Awesomeness.

    You email me and tell me or I will mail you a rotting alpaca.

    I’m not going to suffer through this POS thread again for people that want to get inflatable toast in the mail.

  466. He looks like Snow White after you ate a bunch of acid.

    Hahahaha

  467. Judge Dredd was awful.

    Demolition Man was wicked awesome. And it had a very young Sandra Bullock.

  468. don’t act like you thought of that line

    I wrote it for the screenplay of a movie that you’ve never seen so shut your turducken hole.

  469. What’s worse: Demolition Man or Judge Dredd?

    Discuss.

    Trick question. The answer is Godfather III.

  470. Trick question. The answer is Godfather III.

    Heh. I could just about recite the scripts for I & II verbatim.

    Never seen III all the way through. And I own it.

  471. Hey Sean, are you going to Parker Stevenson’s house for Thanksgiving?

  472. You know what would be be funny?

    Paying Mr. T to come to a family Thanksgiving and not telling anyone.

  473. Nope. We had a falling out after “The Mystery of Goatse Cave.”

  474. Grandma, you want some more giblet gravy?

    http://tinyurl.com/yezwwsv

  475. Okay, going to try sleeping. Thanks, everyone, hope you all have a great Thanksgiving.

  476. Paying Mr. T to come to a family Thanksgiving and not telling anyone.

    I pity the family

  477. “The Large Hardon Collider”?

  478. Take care and safe travels, Romy. I know at least one little guardian angel you have looking out for you.

  479. I PITY DA FOOL WHO GETS MY WISHBONE!

  480. My grandma, despite being a life-long Kool-Aid drinking Democrat, is uncomfortable with the “coloreds” which is why Mr. T at Thanksgiving would be fun.

  481. You know what would be be funny?

    Paying Mr. T to come to a family Thanksgiving and not telling anyone.

    Why are you assuming that Mr. T is available to work on Thanksgiving? Mr. T probably has a family that loves him and hopes to see him on Thanksgiving. He may even bring the dinner rolls every year. From a little bakery around the corner from where he lives. They make the best fresh rolls there–perfectly crusty–from a closely-guarded family recipe that their Great-Grandma came up with back when they opened the place in 1927. Mr. T’s family loves those rolls. It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without them.

    Shame on you.

  482. Why are you assuming that Mr. T is available to work on Thanksgiving? Mr. T probably has a family that loves him and hopes to see him on Thanksgiving. He may even bring the dinner rolls every year. From a little bakery around the corner from where he lives. They make the best fresh rolls there–perfectly crusty–from a closely-guarded family recipe that their Great-Grandma came up with back when they opened the place in 1927. Mr. T’s family loves those rolls. It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without them.

    ACORN visits Sean.

    http://tinyurl.com/5qthgb

  483. Good luck romy. I’m so sorry to hear about your sis in law. 😦

  484. Hey pontoon poontan, Lou showed up here the other day. What’s up with her?

  485. Please, Acorn would be helping sean pimp out the girls sitting next to him in his POL photo

  486. That bakery has shitty rolls. Gimme the Kings Hawaiian rolls anytime.

  487. I crafted that comment by hand, the old fashioned way.

  488. Hey pontoon poontan, Lou showed up here the other day. What’s up with her?

    She’s workin at Trader Joe’s an loving it. There’s less flesh eating bacteria there than at the jails.

  489. DOG PILE ON PAJAMA MOMMA!!!!!

  490. Paying Mr. T to come to a family Thanksgiving and not telling anyone.

    I pity the landscaping.

    http://www.nytimes.com/1987/05/30/us/genteel-chicago-suburb-rages-over-mr-t-s-tree-massacre.html

  491. DOG PILE ON PAJAMA MOMMA!!!!!

    MY NOSE!!! MY NOSE!!!!!!!!

  492. DOG PILE ON PAJAMA MOMMA!!!!!

    Little free advice? You might wanna wear a latex suit and a gasmask before you touch that. You don’t know where she’s been.

  493. The other thing about Mr. T is that he doesn’t like to fly, so he has to drive all night and day to make it to Thanksgiving the next day. He misses a lot of watching the football games with Uncle T, but he tries to keep up on the radio on the way.

  494. She’s workin at Trader Joe’s an loving it. There’s less flesh eating bacteria there than at the jails.

    I doubt that. There are more tree-hippies at Trader Joe’s.

    They do have great beer and their frozen Kung Pao Chicken is outstanding.

    WASH MY SHIRT, YELLOW MAN!!!!

    I don’t know what that means.

  495. Well it’s certainly not racist by any means.

    Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken

  496. Little free advice? You might wanna wear a latex suit and a gasmask before you touch that. You don’t know where she’s been.

    Just assume……….EVERYWHERE

  497. Now what should we talk about?

    Best “racist” movie: Blazing Saddles or Trading Places?

    Discuss.

  498. WASH MY SHIRT, YELLOW MAN!!!!

    I don’t know what that means.

    Jaundice, usually. He might want to see a doctor.

  499. **sprays poat with Lysol**

    Don’t touch that, PJ.

  500. Blazing Saddles!!!

    What do I win?

  501. Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken

    You look good Barenaked.

  502. Best “racist” movie: Blazing Saddles or Trading Places?

    Discuss.

    Another trick question. The answer is On Golden Pond. There were no minorities involved with the making of that movie whatsoever.

  503. You look good Barenaked.

    Well, I don’t know how you’d know. It’s been one week since you’ve looked at me.

  504. It’s been one week since you’ve looked at me.

    BOO!!!! HISS!!!

  505. I would actually like to see the idiots that make movies today remake Blazing Saddles.

    Good luck with that, pussies.

  506. The answer is On Golden Pond. There were no minorities involved with the making of that movie whatsoever.

    Correct. Communists are not a minority in Hollywood.

    Although On Golden Blonde is a much better movie.

  507. This says all you need to know about MSNBC. It’s old but informative. The only thing missing is the word “House” in front of his name.

    http://tinyurl.com/2p7oye

  508. So I had to “google” all that

    Niger Innis is an American Republican consultant, strategist and National Spokesperson for the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE). He was born in Harlem, New York, and currently lives in Westchester, New York. Innis attended Georgetown University.

    His father, Roy Innis, has been National Director of CORE since 1968. Roy ran for mayor of New York City in 1993, with Niger as campaign manager. Roy Innis received over 25 percent of the vote in the primary election for the Democratic Party, losing to incumbent David Dinkins.

    Niger has appeared on CNN, Fox News, CNBC, and Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. His radio appearances include The Jim Bohannan Show and The Gil Gross Show. He has guest-hosted on The Bob Grant Show & Barry Farber Show.

    On February 4, 2002, MSNBC put up a graphic misidentifying Niger Innis as “Nigger Innis.” An apology was subsequently issued.

  509. Wow. Never seen that before.

    Can’t be a black conservative without something like that or Clarence “Uncle” Thomas popping up. I just love the tolerant left.

  510. Why on earth would your dad name you “Niger” what the heck?

  511. “Nope. We had a falling out after “The Mystery of Goatse Cave.””

    hahahahahahahaha

    And this is why I love Seany.

  512. There was a story on Drudge a day or two ago about Jesse Jackson calling a black Congressman out as not being black because the Congressman voted against Pelosi’s health care POS.

    If I was a black man and Jesse Jackson said that about me, I would beat his ass.

    Being black doesn’t mean you’re an idiot liberal socialist, Jesse. Dumbfuck.

  513. Heh…

    http://blogs.amctv.com/future-of-classic/talk/2009/02/blazing-saddles.php

    It sickens me how AMC has joined the rest of the politically-correct crowd of Hollywood pussies and refused to play one of the greatest comedy classics of all time the way it was meant to be played for fear of offending the Chinks, NIggers, and Kansas City Faggots. Shame on you, AMC, for cowing down to the whiny, spineless, Liberal wimps that are infesting our once-great country.

    God, where’s John Wayne when we need him!?

  514. Hostages talk like they have balls and spines. I hope you all act like that in really life. That would be very sexy.

  515. Sean Johnson is right!

  516. Why on earth would your dad name you “Niger” what the heck?

    Why did your dad name you “pajama”? Such are the mysteries of life.

  517. Because Sean M was taken

  518. Sean Johnson is right!

    + 24 Nobel Peace Prizes, Andy Johnson!

  519. “Because Sean M was taken”

    hahahahahahahahaah

    And this is why I love PJM.

  520. I wish we could all meet up for a tea party and kick some liberal douchebag butt (and then party heavily and make rude gestures to those who think we are too loud).

  521. God, where’s John Wayne when we need him!?

    One of the best things about Gran Torino is the clinic on how to be a man and not a pussy about racial slurs.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXD8yOxIPB0

  522. Hostages talk like they have balls and spines

    Yes, we are all maces.

  523. What time does Cassidy put up his late night poatestes?

  524. What time does Cassidy out up his late night poatestes?

    Um, how much jenkem have you huffed lately YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER????

  525. Yes, we are all maces.

    Well done.

    + 4 Nobel Peace Prizes and one (1) free copy of Lotus 1-2-3.

  526. Sean, you LOUSY PIECE OF SHIT, wanna come over for Thanksgiving dinner?

    Mr. T was busy and I think my grandma would fund you equally as offensive.

  527. “Yes, we are all maces.”

    Hey, another medieval weapon.

  528. Let’s all go to Hawaii and kick Mare’s ass.

  529. Yes, we are all maces.

    HAHAHAHA!

    geoff just got done playing D&D

  530. HI mare!!!! I love you too!

  531. Geoff should make a chart showing the time spent online and the size of the Hostages asses.

  532. HI mare!!!! I love you too!

    LESBIAN TICKLE FIGHT IN BRA AND LATEX PANTIES AND MAYBE GAS MASKS!!!

  533. I bet Rosetta’s latex fetish comes and goes.

    YOU SICK BASTARD!!!

  534. Mare should do a chart of poop in her stupid.

    YEAH!!!! BURN!!!!

  535. I’m too old for PJM. She knows music and bands and bars and drinks and stuff. Sohos or Tat is about right.

    DAMN THIS AGE THING!!

  536. “Mare should do a chart of poop in her stupid.”

    I don’t know what the hell you were saying but I laughed anyway.

  537. Mr. T was busy and I think my grandma would fund you equally as offensive.

    Sean, if I were you, I’d get funded any way I could

  538. “YEAH!!!! BURN!!!!”

    hahahahahahahaha

    I love it when you talk like a 5th grader.

  539. Sohos or Tat is about right.

    uh oh

    trouble brewin

    Tat is younger than me and I think sohos is only 3 years older than me

    Let’s wrestle naked mare

    I’m sorry you need the gas mask. Stupid bean burrito

  540. I don’t know what the hell you were saying but I laughed anyway.

    I find 5th grade humor a bit elitist and tired so I’m going 2nd grade, doody head poopy stupid.

    *takes cheeseburger out of Mare’s pocket, replaces with frog*

  541. “Let’s wrestle naked mare”

    Okay, but I’m not wearing that latex crap Rosetta sent to me in the mail. Who hears 10 inch heals??

  542. I’m going 2nd grade

    Madeleine would eat you for breakfast

  543. Sean, you LOUSY PIECE OF SHIT, wanna come over for Thanksgiving dinner?

    Mr. T was busy and I think my grandma would fund you equally as offensive.

    SEAN M. COMMUNITY THEATER PRESENTS…

    Sean: “Hey, Grandma Rosetta, come check this out on the computer.”

    Grandma Rosetta: “You’re not gonna show me that ‘Goatse’ thing, are you?”

    Sean: “Uhhhhhh…”

    Grandma Rosetta: “Because my Tuba-playing faggot of a Grandson already showed me.”

    Sean: “Um….okay. Ever heard of ‘Lemon Party’?”

    Grandma Rosetta: “Shiiiiiiiiit, muth’fuckah! MCPO lives in my Rest Home.”

    FIN

  544. hahaha….I meant to say never instead of not.

    Mare chases Rosetta into a tree while he’s wimpering she pants’s him.

  545. I like how Eliot Spitzer is now back on MSNBC.

    I would say “keep fucking that chicken” but no chicken would have that douche-fuck.

  546. Sean excellent ending….hahahahahahaha

  547. Sean, if I were you, I’d get funded any way I could

    *Pees on religious symbol that isn’t in any way linked to Islam*

    *Collects art grant money*

  548. Anyone want to know what’s on my shopping list for tomorrow?

  549. I would say “keep fucking that chicken” but no chicken would have that douche-fuck.

    Well not twice anyways.

  550. Tomorrow is fun, I have the day off and I only have to do Thanksgiving Day prep.

    YAY ME!!!

  551. Anyone want to know what’s on my shopping list for tomorrow?

    Turkey?

    Cranberries?

    Gas mask?

  552. I’m feeding the homeless on Thanksgiving. I’m just not gonna tell them that I’m homeless too.

    I figure while the others are handing out turkey, I’ll set up the keg.

  553. Rosetta, do one of your shopping lists!!!!

  554. Hahahahahaha. Howard Dean is filling in for Keith Olbermann’s little brother, Rachel Maddow, tonight.

    He sucks all the balls off my Christmas tree.

    Stay in politics dummy.

  555. “I figure while the others are handing out turkey, I’ll set up the keg.”

    Brilliant homeless person.

  556. Anyone want to know what’s on my shopping list for tomorrow?

    Vodka?

  557. Let me get my shopping list.

    WAIT A MINUTE YOU DICK!!!

  558. “I figure while the others are handing out turkey, I’ll set up drain the keg.”

    FTFY

  559. oh thanks for fixing that geoff. I wrote it wrong.

  560. Anyone want to know what’s on my shopping list for tomorrow?

    Fresh Goatse?

  561. Please change the header. Michelle’s eyebrows are being mean to me.

    *note to self…..learn how to change header

  562. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT BIG FOOT!!

  563. It’s bed time folks.

    Everyone have sweet dreams and I’ll see you tomorrow.

  564. Here’s what I have to get at the store tomorrow:

    A 20-pound hot dog, 7 pound of bleu cheese, 3 pounds of blue cheese, a velvet Goatse, pretzels, 24-pack of adult diapers, flame thrower, 8 trampolines, a pack of Black Cat snakes, a box of Cookie Crisp cereal, a heating pad, 55-gallon drum of lube, nylon trapeze, 3 chimps, 2 chimp face-guards, your mom, a life-size R2-D2, 1 million lady bugs, an official Pac-Man game, 17 quarters, 800 packs of Marlboro Lighs, bow tie, 8 midgets, new skort, latex pilgrim suit, 13 “raping turkeys”, eggplant, copy of Snoop-Dog’s “Gin and Juice”, 193 poleaxes, can of gasoline, 4 cranberries, a Zippo lighter, picture of Ariana Huffington, a straight razor, 3 candles (no vanilla are you still reading this?), shot glasses from all 57 states, a fire truck, inflatable toast, non-inflatable toast, some Jews, 100 bottles of Ketel-One, 74 bottles of Jagermeister, some nice slippers, copy of Penis Edward-Hands, 19 llamas, an in-heat alpaca and a pack of gum.

    If you need me to pick you up anything, let me know.

  565. Header changed mare

  566. Hahahahahaha. Howard Dean is filling in for Keith Olbermann’s little brother, Rachel Maddow, tonight.

    He sucks all the balls off my Christmas tree.

    Stay in politics dummy.

    Ok. That made me spit my drink out.

  567. If you need me to pick you up anything, let me know.

    Can you pick me up some Cheetos?

  568. I HEART BIG FOOT!!!!

    AND/OR SASQUATCH!!!!

    NOT SO MUCH THE LOCH NESS MONSTER, THOUGH!!!!

    (It would be pretty slimy if you think about it.)

  569. Rosetta, I think you forgot the visqueen, 5 gallons of vegetable oil, two ottomans, three midgets (whichever sex you prefer these days), and a pair of castinetts.

  570. Seen,

    No hard feelings. I admire anyone who makes a living with words these days.

    And if you bring this up again in daylight, I’ll deny ever having said it.

  571. 3 candles (no vanilla are you still reading this?)

    I AM, SIR, INSULTED!

    *glove slap*

  572. I saw he said it sean.

    I’ll swear by it.

    they don’t call me bitchface for no reason

  573. Get me a pack of gum, too.

  574. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    That’s the best one yet.

    I stayed up for it and it was worth it.

  575. Rosetta, I think you forgot the visqueen, 5 gallons of vegetable oil, two ottomans, three midgets (whichever sex you prefer these days), and a pair of castinetts.

    (A) I’m buying 8 midge. You want more than that?

    (9) I have a 55-gallon drum of lube which you can also fry food in

    (%) Good call on the ottomans.

    Anyone know how to cook a 22 pound turkey?

  576. I was going to say my favorite part is……..but I had too many.

  577. Holy crap, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard.

  578. Nite Mare.

    *SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH*

  579. I paused Buffy for this shit?

  580. ” picture of Ariana Huffington, a straight razor, ”

    hahahahahahahah

    “193 poleaxes”

    hahahahahaha

    ” some Jews,”

    hahahahahaha

    ” 3 chimps, 2 chimp face-guards, ”

    hahahahahahahahahah

  581. Ah, Rosetta, you little degenerate. You’re the best.

  582. Rosie, when you say “some jews”, are you talking about lampshade quality,or the garden variety “rendered into soap” type.

    (What? Like you wanted to go to Hell by yourself. A trip that momentous is easier when taken in numbers.)

  583. Have you seen this awesome beatdown of Olbermann?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYRJnLguhfk

  584. Great header, PJM.

    WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT BIG FOOT!

    You guys made me tinkle in my panties.

  585. Have you seen this awesome beatdown of Olbermann?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYRJnLguhfk

    Ratbastard! That’s worse than being rickrolled, fer chrissakes.

  586. MOM!! MARE RUINED MY ZAN UNDEROOS!!!!!

  587. Anyone know how to cook a 22 pound turkey?

    1. Kill the turkey with a musket.

    2. Get Squanto to help. He also knows about stuffing.

    3. Try not to die before Thanksgiving.

    4. Invite Ward Churchill.

    5. Oh, you should have prolly plucked the turkey at some point. And removed the musket balls.

    6. Smallpox.

    7. Invite relatives.

    8. Manifest Destiny.

  588. Oh, there should also be fire of some sort.

  589. You forgot “Move the indians on after we find oil underneath their feet.”

  590. Ratbastard! That’s worse than being rickrolled, fer chrissakes.

    No way, hose. Duke Lion will always be more fun than a RickRoll.

  591. “. Invite Ward Churchill.”

    hahahahahahahaha

    “Smallpox.”

    hahahahahaha

    Holy cow the late nighters are funny.

  592. I see that no one wanted to touch the jew joke. I guess that some among us still retain a shred of decency. Who’s gonna go to IB and break the news to the Pope?

  593. Real men have their wimmens cook the turkey.

  594. 4. Invite Ward Churchill.

    5. Oh, you should have prolly plucked the turkey at some point. And removed the musket balls.

    6. Smallpox.

    7. Invite relatives.

    8. Manifest Destiny.

    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Ward Churchill, STFUAGFY.

  595. Rosetta just wants to celebrate since Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars.

  596. Holy cow the late nighters are funny.

    What, you thought this was some kind of joke?

    RAAAAAACIST!!!!!!!!

  597. Everyone make a bunch of nonsense lame comments. I gotta hit the sack.

  598. I found my pants.

    I just can’t find my ass to hang them on.

  599. Marie Osmond is hot.

    Also, Jimmy.

  600. Marie is kinda hot, after signing up as a weightloss spokeshole.

  601. STFUAGFY.

    Shut The Fuck Up And Go Ferment Yogurt?

  602. Shut the fuck up and go find Yoda.

  603. Marie Osmond is hot.

    Also, Jimmy.

    ‘Sup, fag?

  604. STFUAGFY

    Shut the fuck up and go fuck yourself.

    Or

    Sweet turkey feet undercooked and grandma farted yams.

    There’s no way that’s funny. I’m out of here for tonight. See you for realz manana.

  605. I’m out of here for tonight. See you for realz manana.

    Good night. And good luck with your mama.

  606. *** Peeks around from “Safe Couch” ***

    Hey, is that new guy, Forrestererer gone yet?

  607. Comment by pajama momma on November 25, 2009 2:33 am
    ……….

    I’m sorry you need the gas mask. Stupid bean burrito

    Ya know, when the Secret Santa gets Ms. PJM her Latex Suit, Dow Chemical the tailor might need to install some extra uh…. “vent holes”. She could become airborne like a kiddie balloon. With TWO burritos, we could have the first Hyper-Fertile Dirigible. Then Rosetta would feel really bad. Or not….

  608. *** Puts Coffee on Counter ***

    *** Puts out ABP on Shimmy ***

    I know New Hampshire is backwards, but Algore did give them internet, didn’t he?

  609. Coffee and a Dust Pan, Ms PattyAnn? Coming up….

    http://tinyurl.com/6b6lgu

  610. What have boB and oCeancAt done with Ms. C ar in?

  611. Comment by Rosetta the Daddy on November 25, 2009 3:19 am

    MOM!! MARE RUINED MY ZAN UNDEROOS!!!!!

    Just to Clarify the Record, YOU were driving, YOU wanted TACO BELL. A self inflicted wound so to speak…..

    Blame Ms. Mare………Sheesh……..

  612. Only because you can NEVER have too much Jody Miller

    http://www.eyeblast.tv/public/checker.aspx?v=GdqG6UaG2G

  613. Morning. HEY IT’S HHD!!! YEA!

    Morning Cat.

    I wuz busy yesterday. Work day, then a football “ceremony” thingy (OMG it was three hours long)

  614. **laughs at overnight comments
    **refuses to tell Mr. RFH what “lemon party” is about

    I don’t know what was funnier, Rosetta’s shopping list, Sean’s community theater, Sean’s how to cook a turkey, or Mr. RFH laughing at Al Gore and Charlie Brown Kwanzaa.

    ((hugs everyone))

  615. Today, I made desserts.

    My sister is cooking the bird. I just gotta bring dessert.

    Pumpkin pie … and something else. I’m thinking perhaps a german apple pie thingy my german MIL always makes.

    apfle-somthing.

  616. I’m putting a bit of rum in my pumpkin pie.

    My husband may kill me.

  617. Good morning, sons.

    For Jazz . . .

    Give it time. It gets good . . .

  618. Nothing quite like using muppets to obliterate a thread.

  619. Safe trip Roamy. Prayers with you all.

  620. YAAAYYYY!!!! MUPPETS!!!! Everyone Love Muppets!

    [Ooooo, Jizz is gonna get pissy. HAHA!!]

  621. I think Animal was always my favorite. http://tinyurl.com/lv6vft

    There’s Beaker!! I can’t believe how many of the names I remember. I’m not sure if that’s bad or good.

  622. New Poat. Allrightythen.

  623. […] Rosetta’s Secret Santa Scheme […]


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