Remember when Stephen King wrote good?

Carrie.  ‘Salem’s Lot.  The Shining.  Misery.  Pet Sematary.  All absolute classics by the supposed “Master of Horror!”, Stephen King.  Each one amazing in it’s own way. 

Then came It.  Tommyknockers.  Dolores Claiborne.  Needful Things.  Okay, these were not horrible (okay, Tommyknockers sucked dead donkey balls), but later I learned that King was a drug-addled alcoholic when he wrote them, so, in retrospect, I gave him a pass.  When he finally sobered up, I figured maybe his talent would return.

Then came Cell (evil cell phones cause the end of mankind, except to those who don’t use them!  GASP!)  The obviously rushed, immensely over-rated and pathetically dull Dark Tower books he slapped together to finish up the storyline.  Lisey’s Story.  Duma’s Key.  Books that just plain did not need to be written.  Long, horribly slow, over-wrought, filled with his idiotic, out-of-place political attacks on the right.  With amazingly dumb concepts that basically proved that a) the talent was gone, b) the ideas have run dry c) he was simply phoning it in now for the paycheck.  (The last two books, I started but never finished.)

(Sadly, I can’t find an English version of the above clip anywhere, but I still think it’s gets the point across.  “Let’s see, what can I make scary…..Ooooh, how about a lamp that’s possessed by the evil soul of Dick Cheney??  Booga booga booga!!”)

King gave an interview when the last Dark Tower novel was released, stating that he was done and he was going to retire.  At the time, I thought to myself  “Well, that’s a shame.  Now that he has gotten the Dark Tower stuff behind him, maybe he can concentrate on the type of books that he used to write.  Good, fun, scary books that were just enjoyable to read.  And maybe he would stop trying to be America’s Greatest and Most Importantist Writer EVAH!! by trying to make every single sentence he writes a brilliantly insightful commentary on modern-day society and how the Right is the one true evil in  the world.”

I guess I should have know better.  I guess the lure of the ego-stroking by the New York Times book reviewers and the pathetic cock-gobbling he receives from the morning talk-show hosts was too much to walk away from. 

So here comes King’s latest waste of trees, Under the Dome.  Almost 1100 pages filled with what I’m sure will be his usual drivel, and sure to include his stock “right-winger men are teh suck” characters (According to the review I read, his main bad guy refers to The President as “the one who has three names, including the terrorist one in the middle.” Ooooh, how delighfully droll and cutting, Stephen.  Here, have a Nobel Prize.) 

But what I find absolutely hilarious about this novel is the concept.   Now, I don’t want to give too much away, but doesn’t this sound just a little familiar to anyone?

On an entirely normal, beautiful fall day in Chester’s Mill, Maine, the town is inexplicably and suddenly sealed off from the rest of the world by an invisible force field. Planes crash into it and fall from the sky in flaming wreckage, a gardener’s hand is severed as “the dome” comes down on it, people running errands in the neighboring town are divided from their families, and cars explode on impact. No one can fathom what this barrier is, where it came from, and when—or if—it will go away.

Now where have I seen this before?

Oh yeah!

As a subscriber to the Stephen King Library, I get his books sent to me as soon as they are released.  I think I may save the money and send this one back.  Seriously, do I need to slog through about 980 pages of “OMG, isn’t this scary, yet so true of the human condition??!??!?” stupidity to find out it’s something like aliens or some uber-rich right-wing cabal that’s behind this, for whatever sinister, yet moronic reason? 

Maybe I’ll just stop by the local Barnes & Nobel and read the last chapter, just to have my curiosity satisfied.  I doubt I will be shocked.

Stephen, retire.  Please.

440 Comments

  1. The first book I read he wrote was “Thinner”. Excellent book

    I quit reading him when he started the political divining, too.
    Miss him. Hope he gets cured.

    And that invisible dome’s been done before. Can’t remember the sci-fi book at the moment but I will.

  2. REDRUM

  3. What the hell else do you have to do except chase the flight steward around trying to get your membership in the mile high club??

    BTW: I have to agree with you. King hasn’t written anything worth reading in 20 years.

  4. DIPUTS

  5. What the hell else do you have to do except chase the flight steward around trying to get your membership in the mile high club??

    Once you become a member, it’s not as big a deal anymore.

  6. On an entirely normal, beautiful fall day in Chester’s Mill, Maine, the town is inexplicably and suddenly sealed off from the rest of the world by an invisible force field.

    That happened in The Village of the Damned in 1960.

  7. RELTIHSUB

  8. Can’t remember the sci-fi book at the moment but I will.

    The Midwich Cuckoos? (Book that The Village of the Damned was based on)

  9. UFTS

  10. PRAHOTUA

  11. I have to repoat this from the other thread. I was so moved…

    OMG.

    I just now had a young man, HS Freshman, come to the door dressed in his AF ROTC uniform; he was looking to find a veteran in the neighborhood. When I asked him why, he had picked up three special veteran’s pins (flag and shield) and had given one to his father (Desert Storm Vet), the second to somone I cannot recall, but he had this third pin he felt obligated to give away. I though of a few older guys in the neighboorhood that might be vets but didn’t know any particularly. I saw a car across the street and knew that it was my neighbor’s father’s car (I figured he was old enough for Viet Nam or Korea) so I pointed him across the street.

    Then he mentioned that if he could get to Iowa to visit his grandpa’s grave, he would put it there. (I’m fighting back emotion now at this young man’s ‘grownup’ demeanor and the wholeness of his honesty.)

    I told him that if he wrote a letter to the cemetery explaining that he’d like to have this special pin put at his grandpa’s grave that they would probably be honored to do that for him.

    After chatting about what he want to do when he was done in the AF, he asked my name, thanked me by name, snapped his feet and did a proper military turn and walked away wishing me a Happy Veteran’s Day. I closed the front door and ran down the hall to my office (looks out the front yard) and saw that he didn’t go across the street, but was walking down the sidewalk, straight as a board with precision steps. I assume he was head home to write to the cemetary.

  12. This poat is too long. Make it pithier next.

    Stupid, wiserhineypoker.

  13. Did BiW ghost write this poat?

  14. This poat is too long.

    I was channeling BiW (OOooOOOooOoooOOOooooo….scary….) but at least I threw in a couple of cartoons for the more …ummmmm…..textually-impaired of this crowd.

  15. This poat is too long. Make it pithier next.

    Or…..

    It was an homage to King’s inability to write books that weigh less than Jewstin.

  16. I lucked out and missed all the crap and political junk King’s put out since he lost his talent, I think.

    Anyone got any good examples of the bias in his later dreck?

  17. 1. King’s last work worth a damn was ‘The Stand’.

    2. Channel Rosetta next time, bitch. You’ll get fewer complaints about wanting to be the next Leo typesalot Tolstoy and I get to keep the bloviation schtick as mine…all mine…heheheheheheeheheheheheheh.

  18. I was in a hurry and put $1.99 of cilantro in the fridge. In one day it turned into a limp mess. How are you supposed to store cilantro?

  19. I’m with Leon — I stopped reading King long ago. Pet Sematary was the last book of his I read.

  20. >> How are you supposed to store cilantro?

    Don’t ask TBOM

    I don’t remember the last King book I read, been at least 20 years.

  21. I’ve successfully stored fresh cilantro in the fridge by treating it like a flower, i.e. snipping the stems and placing the bunch in a glass of water. Keeps much longer.

  22. Same goes for asparagus.

  23. Speaking of which. . . Just watched the local news. The y had reps from both Giant Foods and Karn’s grocery chains. The said they expected lettuce shortages for the next two months due to the lettuce crop failure in California.

    Does anyone know what this is about??

  24. A man goes to the Doctor with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ear.
    “That looks nasty,” says the doctor.
    “Nasty?!?” replies the man, “this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

  25. How are you supposed to store cilantro

    In a cilantro case.

  26. I haven’t read a King book since I was aobut 19. That’s when his books just really started sucking. Hard.

  27. I gots to drive home. I dun’t wanna. Mesa, if I just show up at your house, will you feed me?

  28. Anyone got any good examples of the bias in his later dreck?

    I am not at home, so I do not have access to the books, but I know in both his last books, he desperately shoe-horned in two blatantly insulting and negative comments about Bush that really took me out of the story. There was absolutely no need for them to be there and it totally reminded me of his lefttard mindset, when I should have been focusing on the story.

  29. bown-chicka-bowowowwwnnn

  30. you know, I lied. I did read some dreck he wrote a few years back.

    he used to create characters. He ran out years and years ago, and now just writes cartoon folk.

  31. TIHSSIHTSIKCUFEHTTAHW

  32. {murts}

  33. Thanks, cuffers.

  34. Lettuce? Anyone?? Bueller?

  35. POCMUFTS

  36. MCPO El Nino. Bad year for crops in California, and further proof that golf balls are destroying the planet.

  37. Lettuce? Anyone?? Bueller?

    I think there was some E. Coli contamination awhile ago, but I haven’t heard anything about a crop failure.

  38. geoff, that’s not the one I was thinking of.

    Mare, I wrap mine in damp paper towels and put them into a baggie and don’t seal it. It never lasts that long.

  39. DOH, that article was really old.

  40. “Mare, I wrap mine in damp paper towels and put them into a baggie and don’t seal it. It never lasts that long.”

    Thank you.

  41. MCPO, it took a while but I think this explains it.

    http://blog.eatwellguide.org/2009/03/drought-highlights-california-water-shortage-will-lead-to-higher-food-costs/

  42. will you feed me?

    I gots potato chips.

  43. Drive time. Later kids.

  44. Dhurrrrrango.

    Gotta sling beers tonight Mesa?

  45. Mesa – About 20-25 miles from my kids.

  46. No worky tonighty.

  47. This is where I live, but I only have rum and cat food. And I’m not home, but the key is under the mat.

    http://maps.google.com/?q=loc:Cardinal Ave, Ann Arbor, MI 48108&sll=42.242002,-83.706165

  48. So IT sucked? I was given that as a gift many years ago and I never started reading it.
    I was saving it for prison, the only place where I would ever start an 1100+ page book.

  49. oops, that bombed. so much for posting links on my iphone

  50. Hotspur – My kid works for AVFUEL over at the airport in Ann Arbor.

  51. So IT sucked?

    It was okay, but when you get through 1100+ pages to find out the big bad guy is a spider, it’s a little disappointing.

  52. Know right where it is. Just drove by the other day and see that they are building a new facility.

  53. I’m pretty sure by “drought” they mean “shut the irrigation water off so some useless fish no one gives a good goddam about won’t have to struggle slightly, even if it means that the source of half the vegetables of the whole US wither away and die”

  54. I read It when I was 10 or 11.

    It was 2/3 longer than it needed to be.

  55. If I ever go to prison I am going to hate you for ruining it.

  56. HALT!!! WHO GOES THERE!?!?!

    Hotspur, explain your presence on this blog. How did you find us and what is your major malfunction?

  57. It was 2/3 longer than it needed to be.

    Same can be said for most of his books.

    The characters were good, but it’s like gets bored with the story about 3/4 of the way through and just slaps on the ending.

  58. The bad part xbrad is that this isn’t drought, it’s normal. The last 70-80 years have been wet.

  59. If I ever go to prison I am going to hate you for ruining it.

    Maybe you can trade it for cigarettes. And not getting fucked in the ass.

  60. Wiserbud, STFU and go to The Delmar Lounge so I can kick your ass.

  61. I was trying to be fashionably late.

  62. Rosie – I already established Hotpur’s bone-fides!

  63. later, intelligent-post h8ers.

  64. I found you from a guy named apotheosis whom I’ve known forever who posts at SondaK’s site. He showed me this site and I recognized a lot of names from AoSHQ, so I just leapt in. I figured I’d go down in flames, but so far my head is still attached.

    As to my major malfunction, aside from living four hours apart from my wife, I’m semi-normal and can be trusted to mostly behave.

  65. And thanks, Master Chief.

  66. I’m semi-normal and can be trusted to mostly behave.

    That’s unaccpetalble. Someone ban Hotspur. I have to go kill wiserbud and eddie.

    Welcome Hotspur. I look forward to trying to make you cry.

    Have a great night, iceholes.

  67. Rosie – No more than 3 minutes in the Men’s room with Wiser! You know how word got around the last time!

  68. Hi Hotspur, welcome to the online insane asylum.

  69. unaccpetalble? That’s exactly how he will be spelling when he gets back.

  70. Heh.

    Indeed.

    http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/call-of-duty-modern-warfare-3/

  71. That was kinda the way he was spelling before he left. It could only get worse.

    Last time I cried was when Robert the Bruce caved.

  72. Hotspur – What clan?

  73. Maybe one of you nice admins could edit Mr. Spur’s 6:45 comment?

    I’m pretty sure no one REALLY needs to know his exact location unless he’s got beers.

    You got beers cowboy?

  74. I say we accept this Hotspur fella. Because he’s from Michigan.

    If I were cool I’d do a google earth map of my house.

  75. I’m pretty sure no one REALLY needs to know his exact location unless he’s got beers.

    Too late. I’m already in my car.
    muha haa haa …

  76. “Last time I cried was when Robert the Bruce caved.”

    Yeah, that choked me up too.

  77. L to R

    Wiserbud, The Soul of Wit

    http://tinyurl.com/y9349us

  78. Hotspur can stick around. He has very smooth skin. I think he exfoliates.

  79. That’s not skin.

    It’s scales.

  80. Michigan is cool.

    Smart enough to get the !&@^# out of Michigan is better.

  81. “It puts the lotion on its skin”

  82. And that’s from a former Burton resident (and Battle Creek, and Lansing too).

  83. My wife is from Scotland. She heard about me and came over. Fleming clan.

    I bought a full formal kilt suit for our wedding. I chose Black Watch out of admiration of the regiment. Some fucktard said if a real Black Watch saw me wearing the tartan I’d have my ass handed to me.

    Pupster, no beers. Just Mount Gay Eclipse rum.

  84. Hey, have you guys used that tech support stuff where they take control of your computer remotely?

    So cool.

    Although tech support usually kinda sucks. Took three tries before I got someone who know what the fack was going on.

  85. Gay Mounting Rum? I think I’ll pass, just the same.

  86. Mount Gay Eclipse rum

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  87. Hey, have you guys used that tech support stuff where they take control of your computer remotely?

    Yup.

  88. simpsons movie??

  89. Mount Gay Eclipse rum

    Must be a wardroom thing!

  90. Some fucktard said if a real Black Watch saw me wearing the tartan I’d have my ass handed to me.

    Nah, it’s kinda understood that if you aren’t a clan member, you go with BlackWatch.

    Car in, we had the “remote tech help” at my Merrill. It took a while to get used to it. And I realized that a lot of IT guys weren’t a lot brighter than me.

  91. I found you from a guy named apotheosis whom I’ve known forever who posts at SondaK’s site. He showed me this site and I recognized a lot of names from AoSHQ, so I just leapt in. I figured I’d go down in flames, but so far my head is still attached.

    The abuse from us comes later. We like to let the newbies abuse themselves first. Its more fun that way.

  92. I’m gonna need you guys to go buy a bottle, three fingers in a rocks glass, neat with a twist of lemon, and The Last of The Mohicans. Rinse and repeat.

  93. **sets Tazer to “Gay Rum”**

  94. Hotspur – Think, “Old King Cole” or the Baron of Kyle.

  95. Drive time and cub scouts. Later, hosers and posers.

  96. Thumbs down-NOT enough- King turned into a douchebag
    GET WITH IT Wiserpussy

  97. I think BiW went to all the trouble of having boys just so he could hang out with the Cub Scouts.

  98. I’m starting to wish King hadn’t made his recovery from getting run over.

  99. I’m starting to wish King hadn’t made his recovery from getting run over.

    What makes you think the guy publishing this dreck is the “real” Stephen King?

  100. Great. MCPO is going all conspiracy theory-ish on us.

    So, Scooter? Who really decides the BCS rankings?

  101. I liked “The Green Mile”.

  102. Who really decides the BCS rankings?

    Geez, Brad! Everyone knows the Illuminati run the BCS!

  103. Duh, you Rascal, you, but who runs the Illuminati?

  104. Hey Shimmer,

    This song was on the radio when I was pulling into the garage today from work.

    http://tinyurl.com/y998ckp

    Yesterday I heard the beginning of this song and I thought it was Fire Woman, but it was a rip-off.

    http://tinyurl.com/yllmssr

  105. the Illuminati?
    The Rothchilds, of course!

  106. You do know the Rothschilds are Joooosss, don’t you?

    I blame Mare.

    **shakes slightly used rubber fist at Skye**

    MAAAAAARRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  107. Oh yeah…the second song link you might want to use your headphones PJM.

  108. Bilderberg

  109. Longaberger.

    Who the fuck pays $200 for a frickin’ basket, anyway?

  110. Romy – Enough people to allow the company to build this: http://tinyurl.com/ylnuo5c

  111. I drove by that place.

  112. “You do know the Rothschilds are Joooosss, don’t you?”

    They make good wine too.

  113. Mesa, you wrote Bilderberger, you moron. Edit comments, make me look stupid(er).

  114. You do know the Rothschilds are Joooosss, don’t you?

    And leaders of the Carlye Group!!!!

  115. The Cult rocks (nice hair EEEn)
    I’m in the middle of a tropical storm, so chew on this
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3DgAJwVeVU

  116. MAre – Especially if you are in France for the release of the Bougalis!

  117. Romy – Enough people to allow the company to build this: http://tinyurl.com/ylnuo5c

    Is that a pic-a-nic basket?

  118. George Washington invented instant coffee.

  119. Romy – Enough people to allow the company to build this: http://tinyurl.com/ylnuo5c

    Is that a pic-a-nic basket?

  120. Hi Guys and Gals!
    And whatever Hotspur is

  121. Vmax, don’t even bother showing up if you aren’t bringing puppy pics.

  122. “Hi Guys and Gals!
    And whatever Hotspur is”

    hahahahahaha…Hi, Vmax. I’ve missed you. What is going on with the job search?

  123. Hotspur is our new Michigan friend.

    Until we insult him and he runs home to his mommy.

  124. That’s their corporate headquarters. About 15 minutes down the road from Chez Pupstar.

  125. *waves*

    Hi Hotages, I’m in for a bit too. My Three Sons are off to two hours of karate. I’m alone by myself! Woot!

  126. You know, since it’s tuesday, I think I’ll overindulge on wine.

    Just ’cause.

    Anyone can do such a thing on a Saturday.

  127. You are so avant garde Cari n.

  128. Mesa, that was a good video. I love wings and do waste a lot of the wing meat. I’m going to do that.

  129. Mare wanna smile?

  130. “You know, since it’s tuesday, I think I’ll overindulge on wine.”

    I think I’ll join you, if that’s alright. V and NCIS are on tonight. More fun with a buzz.

  131. “Mare wanna smile?”

    You betcha!

  132. Here is a oldie Xbrad
    Yes God?
    I have not taken any in a month except for my tomato plant.

    I think if I want a job Mare I am going to have to move out of state. How is construction / engineering in Hawaii?

  133. LIL
    are
    http://tinyurl.com/yja4sac/

  134. shit wordpress ate the M

  135. How can you not have taken pics of pups for a month?

    Who are you and what have you done with Vmax?

    And I don’t care to see tomato plants, but maybe it will get the women excited.

  136. “You know, since it’s tuesday, I think I’ll overindulge on wine.”

    I think I’ll join you

    If you feel the need to flash some cleavage later, I’ll be here for ya. . . ’cause I’m sensitive like that.

  137. “How is construction / engineering in Hawaii?”

    I could guess but I really don’t know. The state would improve if you move here though.

    We have an income tax and they are putting in an extremely poorly thought out light rail that will cost all home owners a bundle. Excise tax is going up too.

  138. And I don’t care to see tomato plants, but maybe it will get the women excited.

    That would be, uh, no.

  139. Next person to comment on this thread has to polish Rosetta’s head.

  140. “’cause I’m sensitive like that.”

    You’re a giver. Thanks.

    brb

  141. I’m gonna make those pastrami chicken wings.

  142. Mare – Do I smell the wafting aroma of sarcasm????

  143. Brew…I was just looking for you! I got a great joke in my email that made me think of you. It’s too long to put here though. You got a place I can send it?

  144. bkepapa AT yahoo DOT com

    I could use a good laugh!

  145. coming right up

  146. Cyn, if the joke really is funneh, make a poat out of it.

  147. It’s only funny if you’re a Sun Devils Fan, in a sad twisted way.

  148. That pretty much means it ain’t funneh.

    Which means you should just go ahead and put it in a thread. No one else has anything funneh to say.

  149. I’m a little askeerd of posting. You guys can be brutal!

  150. Ok X,
    Here are 2 new ones
    DSC_4678
    and
    DSC_4677

    Where is the cheapest place to live on Oaho Mare?
    Kona?
    heheh

  151. Oaho? Is that Hotel Street where the hookers hang out?

  152. Yes, Cyn, there are people here that can be cruel.

    If they hurt your feelings, I’ll comfort you by burying my face in your cleavage.

  153. Cyn, your avatar is 100% cooler now that I know it’s from a real pic you took. I thought it was one of these.
    http://tinyurl.com/y8frxyx

  154. Vmax, did you step on his tail? He has the look of consternation.

  155. No Cyn,
    Just camera shy, he has not seen it in a while.

  156. Romy – How are things going?

  157. That’s sweet of you br-ad! Just give me a minute or two to down a couple of shots and take my antifungal medication before you comfort me.

  158. Chief, FUBAR. Other sister is there now, and the priest visited today.

    Did you check your gmail?

  159. Will do. . . BBL

  160. I think I may have used a fakey one for a day or two, Roamy, but then I decided to go au naturale with a real huli girl. There a great pic of my oldest son standing between to VERY hot hula dancers and he’s got a shit eating grin on his face. I may change my ‘tard to one of those chicks someday.

  161. My best to you and your family during this trying time, Roamy.

  162. Yes, me too Romy.
    I am praying for your family

  163. Thanks, Cyn. I goofed and made my MIL cry and hang up on me, and I feel like shit for it.

  164. Thanks, Vmax.

  165. woot! Mare’s gonna drink with me!

  166. I goofed and made my MIL cry and hang up on me, and I feel like shit for it.

    Why on Earth?!?

  167. Hang in there, Romy.

    **pinches Romy’s butt**

  168. Crap, Romy. I’m sorry. I imagine people are all on razor edge of emotion.

  169. Cyn, my BIL told me more details about SIL’s condition than he told her mother. I thought she knew. She was still believing that the next round of chemo was going to take care of it.

  170. What Car in said: razor’s edge. Hard time for everyone

  171. TSIFREBBUR

  172. you feel the need to flash some cleavage later, I’ll be here for ya. . . ’cause I’m sensitive like that.

    Nice to know chief.

  173. XBrad, turnabout is fair play.

  174. If she’s in hospice … I mean.

    I remember when my dad was really bad, and they were talking about palliative care. I had to look it up.

  175. Damn, Roamy. Put you in a tough spot. I’m sure your BIL was just trying to protect mom.

  176. XBrad, turnabout is fair play.

    I’m just returning the favor from last night.

    Car in, I hate to say it, but when we finally took Dad home from the hospital the last time and started hospice care at home, it was a relief. We knew something, even if we didn’t know the timeline.

  177. Car in, I knew this wasn’t going to have a good ending when in July I asked how many tumors there were, and the answer was “hundreds, too many to count.” Mr. RFH and parents have been in serious denial until this week.

  178. Cyn, you are right. He knows and has accepted it. They are both birdwatchers, and he told me that he told her not to go scouting all the good birds in heaven until he got there. I said, yeah, you can go see the extinct ones, too, and he said, “oooo, yeah!”

  179. Here is another Zeke Pic or 5
    DSC_4686

  180. DSC_4685

  181. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on November 10, 2009 9:19 pm

    :-)

  182. Oh, my goodness, Zeke is a big doggie now. I’d still kiss his face.

  183. “hundreds, too many to count.”
    Ouch!

  184. Roamy, sorry about the stinky situation. MIL is full of fear instead of …….well, peace, calm, acceptance. I’m sad for her.

  185. Vmax, Zeke still not not look happy that daddy’s STILL taking pictures.

    I’m about ready to get a dog again. We almost foster-homed one Halloween night, but I took her with me and kept spreading the word to all the houses. Owners met us on the loop back.

  186. http://pterodactyl.me/

  187. Oh, my goodness, Zeke is a big doggie now. I’d still kiss his face
    Yes he is hardly a puppy now, but I still call him puppy. He is learning a lot and can walk off the leash now, for 8-10 blocks.
    DSC_4679

    I put him in Max’s collar, he has out grown it. Max was 80#. Zeke is 60.

    I think he is going to be big

  188. Bear-O-Dactyl!

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! That’s funny Mesa!

  189. Retrievers have the sweetest faces. Just pure friendly and fun.

  190. Check with the local Golden Rescue groups Cyn.
    If you like Goldens, or whatever breed, there is a rescue for them.

  191. I’ve never had a golden, only a cock-a-poo when I was young and my Buddy, an australian shepard mix (maybe greyhound or whippet). Definitely going the shelter or rescue route though.

  192. DSC_4684

  193. Zeke is starting to get some character in his face.

  194. Pterodactyl pron. FUCK CLAWS!

  195. Aussies are cool,
    I like the flat coat ones.
    My neighbor has one and a friend is in the local Aussie rescue here is their site.
    http://www.ns4ar.org/

  196. I am going to bed. I have to get up @ 4 am to leave @ 5 to be in Katy, TX by 7. Surgery is @ 8:30am and I hope to be back on the road to come home before noon. I will have Count post how it goes. Say some prayers for me. Good night yall.

  197. “I bought a full formal kilt suit for our wedding”

    I don’t call him Hotspurm for nothing.

  198. here is the rescue I volunteer for
    http://www.grrswf.org/index-15.html

  199. Sohos, you gonna be medicated enough to talk to me again? ;)

    Good luck, sweetie. We’ll be thinking of you.

  200. Good luck with the knee!!!

  201. Easy Peasy, Sohos! Ask for the Margarita mix when they knock you out ;-).

    Lots o prayers coming your way!

  202. Goodnight Sohos
    Good wishes!

  203. Prayers for you, sohita!

  204. Zeke is smart, he picked the most comfortable chair in the house!

    Sohos, we’ll be praying that everything goes smoothly.

  205. Prayers, sohososo

  206. Thanks yall good night

  207. Hi Mare…new carpet? Feels nice.

    http://tinyurl.com/yz7cs3f

  208. Go, Sohos!!!

    New knee parts!!

  209. Okay, have we hit our quota on Michiganders yet with this new guy?

  210. Leon, I used to live in Michigan. That should put it over the top.

  211. Best wishes, shoohoos.

  212. My Dad was born in Michigan, but we don’t talk about that much.

  213. Make sure you write NOT THIS ONE DUMBASS on your good knee.

    Surgeons have a wicked good sense of humor.

  214. Must be a Michigan / Ohio thing

  215. If I make it out of here, I won’t talk about it either.

    Wouldn’t want to jinx it.

  216. Romy, I think I’ve shown this to you before, but it’s still damn good:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTYrkCTz1Vg

  217. XBrad, I saw the T8 on your wish list. When I hit the lottery…

  218. The T8 is only $100k.

    The real cost of ownership is ammo and the range space.

  219. I’m calling it a night kids.

    Sweet Dreams to All

  220. Night, Cyn.

  221. G’night, Cyn.

    Sweet dreams. Or Sweat dreams. Whichever works for you.

  222. My late Grandpa was born in Kalamazoo.

  223. Michiganders snort MSG when they think nobody is looking.

  224. Michiganders can’t walk in a circle counterclockwise.

  225. Michiganders think salt is a condiment.

  226. Michiganders only have one mitten.

  227. Michiganders boil bacon.

  228. What’s good for the Michigander is good for the Michigoose.

  229. Michiganders think Kalamazoo and Ypsilanti make good names for cities.

  230. Michiganders eat cotton candy left-handed.

  231. Michiganders think it’s appropriate to have windmills in an American town named Holland.

  232. There is not one bear at Michigan’s Sleeping Bear Dunes.

  233. Pupster, I love that commercial of the dog scooting across the carpet. The woman’s scream is priceless.

  234. Michiganders eat cotton candy. With beer.

  235. Michiganders giver tubes of lipstick to their babies instead of pacifiers.

  236. “Ypsilanti”

    When I lived there we called it Oopsalanti.

  237. Michiganders think a normal winter means snow from September until May.

  238. Michiganders think ice fishing is a great ladies get-together.

    (true story)

  239. Michiganders always have a ham in the refrigerator.

  240. Michiganders think a Michigan sweatshirt IS dressing up.

  241. Michiganders boil bacon.

    That one hurt. They can’t recover from that.

  242. “Michiganders always have a ham in the refrigerator.”

    hahahahahahaha

  243. Mare, true story! They do!

  244. Michiganders decorate birthday cakes with mustard.

  245. Michiganders think that Acme is the zenith of small-town America!

  246. Michiganders go bowling on Saturday night and/or play Euchre.

  247. Michigaders think Meijer’s is a big night out.

  248. Vmax – you still on? I got lazy and put up a new post on my blog of just some dog pictures.

  249. Michigaders think Meijer’s is a big night out.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Too true!

  250. Michigan is shaped like a rubber fist hand.

  251. MIchiganders perm curly hair.

  252. Michiganders eat hot dogs with mayo.

  253. Michiganders think, “Pop goes the weasel” is about a ferret with a coke.

  254. MIchiganders think a mullet is sexy…..in 2010.

  255. I can see that Michiganders are as well liked around here as Sean and BiW.

  256. “Mare, true story! They do!”

    I know that’s why I’m laughing.

  257. Michiganders drink scotch and soda.

  258. So won’t you smile for the camera
    I know I’ll love you better

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEhRnBSGPjA

  259. Michiganders wear snuggies at PTA meetings.

  260. Michiganders tear the labels off the mattresses.

  261. Michiganders are the reason why hair dryers have labels telling you not to use them in the shower.

  262. “Michiganders wear snuggies at PTA meetings.”

    hahahahahahahaha

  263. Michiganders spend long winter evenings picking lice and fleas off one another.

  264. Michiganders play Russian Roulette with a semi-auto pistol.

  265. Michiganders put sawdust in their meatloaf instead of crackers.

  266. Romy – Even better!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuYFPyeWuig

  267. Michiganders aren’t allowed to have Nobel prizes.

  268. Miciganders put ketchup on their Kraft Mac & Cheese.

    (My wife does, too, but she has redeeming qualities also.)

  269. Chief, true!

  270. Yeah, your wife does have redeeming qualities.

  271. And just where did all the Michiganders go??

  272. I’m not going to defend Michigan.

  273. Carin? CARIN! MESA! Jazz? Alan? STEVE! STEVE?!

  274. I think Jewstin stunned them with the body blows he was throwing. They’re still trying to crawl back to the keyboards.

  275. That’s funny, Jewstin, my brother Steve escaped moved out of Michigan a couple years ago.

  276. Michiganders put syrup on their potato cakes.

  277. Michiganders still wear paisley shirts and cordaroy pants (together).

  278. Psst! AD – We’re not allowed to do that?

  279. * Checks to make sure no-one is looking, and pinches Romy’s ass.

    Mesa – CUT THAT OUT.

  280. The only people in the world who haven’t seen Paris Hilton’s poon are all Michiganders.

  281. Michiganders mocked Indiana.

    Once.

  282. Mesa – Fake but fun!

  283. AD – We’re not allowed to do that?
    Not after Labor Day, Chief. :-)

  284. Michiganders try to cook with the television and watch the microwave.

  285. Michiganders take vacations to South Dakota.

  286. Whoop!

    Glad to see you in a better mood, AD!

  287. Michiganders watch regular DVDs on BluRay players.

  288. Jewstin, wait a minute, I haven’t seen Paris Hilton’s poon!

  289. Romy’s a Michigander1!!

    Shun her!!!

  290. Michiganders give their wives a coal wedding ring.

  291. Glad to see you in a better mood, AD

    Musta been that Monday thing.

  292. Jewstin, wait a minute, I haven’t seen Paris Hilton’s poon!

    SSSHHHUUUUUUNNNNNNUH!!!!!!!!!!!

  293. Sorry to see the Beltway Sniper bite it tonight. I’m sure the WaPo is going to really miss those “occasional glimpses of humanity”.

  294. I gave a gold wedding ring, TYVM.

    The engagement ring had a big chunk of coal, though. I told her to be patient.

  295. SSSHHHUUUUUUNNNNNNUH!!!!!!!!!!!

  296. Dave, I still think it should have been by firing squad.

  297. If the DC sniper was electrocuted, we could have seen his spark-ling personality.

  298. The hell I’m going to look at Paris poon to get out of being called a damn Yankee.

  299. Michiganders don’t understand that sometimes snarks can be boojums.

  300. Romy – Wear eye protection, it’s like an eclipse!

  301. So, Romy, who’s poon are you willing to look at to get out of being called a damn Yankee?

    Rosetta doesn’t count.

  302. Imma get another beer. Who’s empty?

  303. **raises hand**

    Beer me, bitte

  304. Rosetta doesn’t count.

    Oh snap!

  305. Pyramid Apricot Weizen. De nada.

  306. Michigan’s state song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_38Ggj_KyI

  307. Hey Jewstin, you poatin’ some pulchritude tomorrow for HHD or do you want help?

  308. MCPO, I’m working on uploading a wee bit of video of an F8F Bearcat.

    And a Mig 17.

    There was also a very nice F7F Tigercat at the airshow, but it was only on static display.

  309. Hey Jewstin, you poatin’ some pulchritude tomorrow for HHD or do you want help?

    Purveying pulchritude is my mission on Wednesdays.

    But, I don’t have anything planned yet, so if you have an idea let me know and I’ll take the week off.

  310. *tips toe in the water

    brrrrr…..a little cold. Is it safe to come in?

  311. Comment by kka on November 10, 2009 11:27 pm

    Is that Korn Kat? Please say yes.

  312. Jewstin, with it being Veteran’s Day…. I have some ideas, so let me run with it. Thanks!

  313. Is that Justin? Please say yes…..

  314. **waves to LeKKA**

    Romy, let her get more than one toe in before you pinch her butt.

  315. Thought I’d peek in and I saw my favorite hostages were on, so I had to say hi. “somebody” talked me into peeking in…….I won’t mention any names.

  316. It’s all yours Romy. I was thinking of another Armed Services edition myself, but I haven’t gone photo hunting.

  317. The water’s fine, Korn Kat. Jump in!

  318. How’s life treatin’ ya Justin??

  319. That’s not warm water, Jewstin.

    That’s urine.

  320. pretty quiet in here, or did everyone run away?

  321. How’s life treatin’ ya Justin??

    Eh. Sometimes a kick in the balls, sometimes a pat on the back. It’s a good life. How are your little grand-monsters?

    That’s urine.

    God damnit, Xbrad. I knew we shouldn’t have let you in the pool.

  322. I’m listening to the Chairman of JCS on C-SPAN 3

  323. Most of the East Coast crowd is coming down off the meth right now, KKA.

  324. Monsters is a proper description sometimes. Just came from a cheerleading program the grand daugter was in…boys are growing and too full of vinegar.

    Hey Mesa…

    ..xxoo xbrad –

  325. The world was on fire
    No one could save me but you.
    Strange what desire will make foolish people do
    I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oaHHrNQVrg

  326. MCPO,,,how you doin?

  327. Hi KKA, I ran off to look for half-nekkid men. Good to see you!

  328. Annie- I’m doing good. I miss you around here!

  329. MCPO, that song was my go-to panty remover back in the day.

  330. Good to see you to Ms. RedHot Waterspiggot!!

  331. KKA – Is everything OK on your bit of the prairie?

  332. Miss you too Mr. Chief.

  333. Brad- It’s a great song but, the lyrics are quite different from what many people think

  334. Oh, it’s pretty good,,,,shouldn’t complain (not that anything’s ever stopped me before) Will graduate next month, done with internship, so I’m now finishing school, working two jobs, and babysitting. My daughter is teaching at a college this year, so I have the little one a couple days a week.

  335. I think most chicks that I played it for just blocked out the image of me and substituted Chris.

    Which is fine with me, just as long as they took off their pants.

  336. Here’s a fun one; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uf1gi4bXEss

  337. Since it is old-home hour here, and I have to get up in the morning, I’m outta here.

    Check with ya’ll tomorrow.
    .

  338. Xbrad- you still living in California? I work for a bunch of psychiatrists in Salinas Valley

  339. I’m in Palm Desert right now, KKA. Salinas is way the hell and gone from here.

  340. No need to bail, Mr. Dog…I’m not hanging around too long.

  341. Salinas is nice. They grow lots of onions around there.

  342. oh, yea I knew that, I just thought it was a kick –

    Do I know agiledog?

  343. I don’t think you’ve met AgileDog, KKA. He’s a noob.

  344. KKA – He’s a noob. Feel free to smack him on the snout with a newspaper!

  345. “Salinas is nice. They grow lots of onions around there.”

    Might explain some of the patients!!

  346. Then again, does anyone really know AgileDog?

  347. Does he often need smacked on the snout? If so, he must fit right in here.

  348. Smack him on the snout with a ball peen hammer, KKA.

    Heh. I said “peen”

  349. It’s midnight here in my beautiful Appalachia. Almost time for bed.

    Please give a thought or a thank you to a veteran or a serviceman tomorrow. And remember why 11:00 am on 11/11 is worthy of your respect.

    Goodnight, my wonderful invisible friends.

  350. Happy sleeping, MCPO.

  351. G’night Mr. Chief. Nice to see you again.

  352. AgileDog is okay, but he won’t use Sox’s litter box. I think he smells Sean.

  353. Well, I need to crash too. Will see you all again sometime. Hope you are all doing well.

    Night.

  354. Happy sleeping to you too, Korn Kat. Come back soon!

  355. heya Annie :)

    good to see you again

  356. Well, very shortly, we’re gonna head back to the bedroom, watch DVDs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and touch ourselves very inappropriately when Willow is on screen.

  357. Hi, KKA!

  358. *Tackles RFH*
    *Pulls down my shorts to show her the damn bruise she made last night.*
    *Waits for an appropriate response.*

  359. Crap, every search with “shirtless” in it brings up frackin’ Obama.

  360. XtraoddBrad…. we?

  361. “we” is the regal we of an author.

    Inappropriate touching while Willow watching on BtVS is a solo sport.

    And no, I won’t record video of me during this time. I don’t want my bid for Ms. America spoiled.

  362. Crap, every search with “shirtless” in it brings up frackin’ Obama.

    Notice that too, didja? I fucking HATE that photo.

  363. Sweetie, I didn’t pinch you that hard.

  364. It’s nice to see KKA back. I hope she comes back to stay.

    She had great posts and a fun sense of humor.

  365. “Sweetie, I didn’t pinch you that hard.”

    I know. I was just lookin’ for an excuse to tackle you and bear my ass.

  366. Mare, why are you still wearing clothes?

  367. Not to be confused with bare!

  368. Speaking of that … is there an upper age limit on skinny dipping?

  369. Speaking of that … is there an upper age limit on skinny dipping?

    When you have man boobs.

  370. Okay then, I’m still legal.

  371. well, John Allen Muhammed is dead. May God have mercy on his soul.

  372. John Allen Mohammed was a monstrous human being and deserved what he got. Good riddance.

  373. No argument here.

  374. I hope you don’t mind if I go ahead and break protocol just a bit to post this now.

  375. We have protocol? Did I miss a memo?

  376. It’s after midnight somewhere, Clint.

    And I’ll note that while I’ll never surrender my Constitutional right to mock the Canadians, they suffered on a per capita scale in WWI and WWII that makes us look like pikers.

  377. Also, that’s a beautiful song.

  378. ROSETTA!! BAD TOUCH!!! BAD TOUCH!!!

  379. Wiser still hasn’t died a fiery death?

  380. *Gives Wiserbud a juicebox and a hug.

    It’ll be better tomorrow.

  381. ^ She’s no looker, but her daughter is cute.

  382. It’ll be better tomorrow.

    {whimper}

  383. Hold me, Jewstin.

  384. Did KKA really stop by earlier?

    sweet.

    I’ve missed her. But I’ve adjusted the scope, so maybe that won’t happen again.

  385. “break protocol”

    Uh oh, we have protocol I don’t know about?

  386. I think “protocol” is code for “wind”

  387. In fact, the idea of bumping KKA’s last poat came up toniight.

    Whaddya all think? Maybe?

  388. Dunno, Wiser. I can’t recall KKA’s last poat.

    She’s just dipping a toe in the waters.

    How about emailing me a link to it?

  389. Hold me, Jewstin.

    For Chrissake. Just drink your juicebox.

  390. Korn Kat’s last poat was pretty epic.

  391. For Chrissake. Just drink your juicebox.

    {re-whimper}

  392. Derp.

  393. Wiser, I think you’ve still got a black eye from that poat.

  394. Does Stephen King have access to poat here?

  395. Wiser, I think you’ve still got a black eye from that poat.

    Only becuase I laughed so hard that I accidently hit the corner of my laptop as I doubled over.

  396. I actually liked Duma Key, btw.

    OH NOES!!! I DISAGREED WITH WISERBUD!!!

  397. I CROSSED THE MUTHAFUCKIN’ LINE!!!!!!

  398. I actually liked Duma Key, btw.

    You are so muthafucking banned….

    I’m kinda tired. Will someone ban Shawn for me?

    Thanks in advance.

  399. Will someone ban Shawn for me?

    If you’re gonna try to insult me by spelling my name wrong, could you at least pick the correct misspelling, YOU FILTHY MOTHERFUCKING DICKSNUFFLER?!!!!!

    *breaks bottle of Old Grand-Dad*

  400. stupid dogs

  401. *Click

    *Click

    *Click

    *Typety type. . . type. . . click. . . fuckit

    Somebody else has to ban Shean. Too much damn work.

  402. THEY’RE ALL AGIN’ ME!!!

  403. Car in, come sit in my lap and tell me about your stupid dogs.

  404. My stupid dogs woke me up and I have insomnia so now I’m up for a bit.

    Although reading this entire thread appears to be helping.

  405. lemme go so if it will “take”

  406. Please, cari n, tell me you didn’t sit in b-rad’s lap while you told us that.

  407. Mutts woke me up this AM too,
    but it was at 5am

  408. Please, cari n, tell me you didn’t sit in b-rad’s lap while you told us that.

    She not only sat on his lap, but gave him a juice box with minimal backwash.

  409. THEY’RE ALL AGIN’ ME!!!

    SeaNm, its only the paranoids that are after you…..

  410. Mutts woke me up this AM too,
    but it was at 5am

    I don’t wake up the “Boss”, I just sew the tops of his socks shut……

  411. Comment by wiserbud on November 11, 2009 1:21 am

    It’ll be better tomorrow.

    {whimper}

    ALLRIGHT, YOU BASTARD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH WISERBUD?

  412. Good morning all! I am leaving for my surgery UGH! I slept maybe 3 hours? I will have Count post later.

  413. *** Puts Coffee on Counter ***

    *** Looks at Ms C arin ***

    *** Hides MP3 Player ***

  414. God Bless Ms. Sohos!

  415. Good luck, Sohita!

  416. SeaNm, its only the paranoids that are after you…..

    Now, wait just a fucking minute. That doesn’t make any goddamn sense. Why would paranoids be after ME?

    Into the dryer you go, cat.

  417. Good morning, sausage casings.

  418. Casings reporting for doody!

    Sir!

  419. Cuffy – When are you going to update your blog?

  420. NEVER!

  421. Sorry I missed KKA. You losers, not so much.

  422. NEVER!

    Well, another spot opens up on my “Favorites” bookmarks. . .

  423. Happy Veteran’s Day, MCPO. Thanks for your service.

  424. And remember, underwear on the INSIDE.

  425. To all who have been or are in the military.

    Thanks for your service..

    Words are too cheap to describe the debt that we owe you and your brothers (and sisters) in arms.

    Happy Veteren’s Day!

  426. But mostly, Thank you.

  427. What is Sohito having done today?

  428. I think her final surgery to fix her leg.

  429. New POOT!!

  430. Cat – ACL surgery.

    ‘Cano – Appreciated. . . and I plan on going commando today in order to prevent any confusion.

  431. Have a good night, ladies.

  432. Funny, KKA’s last post was not my favorite.


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