Everyone Gets A Trophy!

trophies

Now no better than the trinkets handed out to children at a youth soccer league pizza party, the Nobel brand has been diluted beyond repair:

Rather than recognizing concrete achievement, the 2009 prize appeared intended to support initiatives that have yet to bear fruit: reducing the world stock of nuclear arms, easing American conflicts with Muslim nations and strengthening the U.S. role in combating climate change.

In other words, Obama got the Nobel for three telepromptered speeches about vaporware.

Awesome! Way to go, you special lil fella! You’re special! Yes you are! Piiiiizzzzaaa!

P.S.: Please — pleeeease — be sure to vote this poat up less my fragile self-esteem takes an irreparable hit.

 

[BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: ROSETTA]

Obama has just won the Heisman.

obama-heisman

 

[UPDATE II: ROSETTA]

I have received word that Obama has just won the Stanley Cup.

Obama stanley cup

 

[UPDATE III: ROSETTA]

As Obama was driving to pick up his Nobel Peace Prize, he accidentally won the NASCAR Sprint Cup.

Obama Sprint Cup

 

[UPDATE IV: ROSETTA]

Obama threw 984 touchdowns and rushed for 3.8 brazilian yards, leading the Kenyan Unicorns to their first Super Bowl victory.  Well done, Captain Awesome.

Obama Steelers

 

 

[UPDATE V: CUFFY]

Imma let you finish, Bearded Dude — but I deserve this Grammy:

Recording Academy president Neil Portnow presents award to Illin

 

[UPDATE VI: ROSETTA]

While you were getting a cup of coffee, Obama won the Tour de France.

obama_bike

 

[UPDATE VII: CUFFY]

In a stunning development, Obama has been named Grand Wizard of the Peckerwood, Mississippi Kleagle Local #79.

obama wizard

 

[UPDATE VIII: ROSETTA]

This just in, Obama awarded only second-in-history immaculate conception as seen in this un-retouched photo.

pregnant obama

 

[UPDATE IX: ROSETTA]

While you were bitterly clinging to your gun, Obama received the Mr. Galaxy prize which he humbly accepted on the moon.

obama on moon

 

[UPDATE X:TBOM]

Clio Awards just announced!

1240348104962

 

[UPDATE XI: ROSETTA]

Obama has just received the Most Improved Bowler award by the Special Olympics.

obama-bowling

 

[UPDATE XII: ROSETTA with assist by JAZZ]

Are we sure Obama isn’t a JOOOOO?  Is there anything he can’t do?

 

[UPDATE XIII: ROSETTA]

While you were guarding your feet from being forcibly severed by a physician, Obama traveled back in time and single-handedly won the 1978 Hawaiian State Basketball championship.  Here he is pictured with eight typical white persons.

obama basketball

322 Comments

  1. First! First! First! In your face, Looooooosers! Go, Cuffy, Go! Numba One! World champeeeen! Trophy time!

  2. {shoves big foam #1 finger in your LOSER face}

  3. {polishes “First Comment” trophy, puts on mantle along with T-ball trophies from 1975-77}

  4. It’s a tad early for this but … heregoes:

    FUCK YOU NOBEL PEACE PRIZE PICKERS.

    Honestly, you really suck. I mean, really.

  5. Should be the Nobel Piece Prize. As in “piece of shit.”

    Arafat. Carter. Obama. Apparently hatin’ on the joooos is a qualification.

  6. President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for “his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples,” the Norwegian Nobel Committee said, citing his outreach to the Muslim world and attempts to curb nuclear proliferation.

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    His winning the Nobel prize is so ridiculous that I have a feeling this will become a joke.

    Everything he’s attempted has been sodomized by the fist of FAIL! so little Barry gets a cookie Nobel peace prize to make him feel better. Awwww…..

    *puts Obama’s drawing of a kitty cat up on the fridge*

  7. You just jealous, Rosie, because you’re not getting some of that sweet Obama money.

    That’s why they voted for him. O-BAM-A, O-BAM-A!

  8. Also, excellent first poatse, Cuffy.

    + 4 autoharps

  9. Seriously, though. All of the whispered comments about Obama being a crypto-benificiary of affirmative action (college transcripts?) will now bubble over big time. He should be embarassed & like Mickey Kaus says, refuse to accept.

    He won’t.

  10. You just jealous, Rosie, because you’re not getting some of that sweet Obama money.

    That’s why they voted for him. O-BAM-A, O-BAM-A!

    Hahahahahaha.

    Hey….WHERE MY UNICORN AT!?!?

  11. The deadline for nominees was 2/1. His first 10 days must have been just awesome.

  12. You think this entered into the Nobel Committee’s deliberations?

  13. Well they were scottW

    he began stopping the worlds waters from drowning all the poor kids in beachside homes dontyaknow.

  14. I’d like to thank the academy and all the fans that voted for my movie, you like me, you really like me!!!!!This peace prize will go right up there with all my other honored trophies
    http://tinyurl.com/yjuhgq3/

  15. Ohyeah
    RACIST!!!!

  16. He should be embarassed & like Mickey Kaus says, refuse to accept.

    He won’t.

    Not only will Obama accept the award / handjob, I bet he wonders what took the committee so long to recognize his contributions to world peace and cold fusion and shit.

    I didn’t know the ladies that appear in these audio clips were on the Nobel committee.

  17. So The Won gets a trophy for riding the bench, big fuckin’ deal.. Jimmy Carter and Yessir Arafart got that trophy too, not exactly esteemed company. The shine came off that baby a long time ago.

  18. one minute after reading the news-
    http://tinyurl.com/yjw5p4q/

  19. Obama, imma let you finnish, but Yasser Arafat had one of the best Nobel acceptance speeches of all time. Of all time !

  20. If SNL doesn’t take this and run with it (i.e. permanently dressing their Obama guy with a medal around his neck) — especially after finally sticking their toe in the water last week — then they’re hopeless. And ghey.

  21. one minute after reading the news-
    http://tinyurl.com/yjw5p4q/

    Hahahahahaha. Shim!

  22. L to R: Obama, the Nobel committee

    http://tinyurl.com/592ryc

  23. Ohhh, how I nearly used that pic, Rosie.

  24. Actually, do you care if I add that picture to the bottom of your poatse, Cuff?

  25. Too tasteless?

  26. Yeah prolly. That’s better for the comments.

    STFU.

  27. Hahaha.

    http://tinyurl.com/ykjukz4

  28. Tasteless? Here? Knock yourself out!

  29. Nah. I’ll see if I can find something better.

  30. (Or not)

  31. WE DID IT WEEZIE!!!!!!!!!
    http://tinyurl.com/yj2tajx/

  32. I’m too lazy to do this but I would like to see the list of actual accomplishments of the other nominees that did not win.

    I doubt there is one with fewer accomplishments than Jughead.

  33. here ya go Obama!

  34. I doubt there is one with fewer accomplishments than Jughead.

    Unless it’s possible to have a negative number of accomplishments, there’s no need to go look it up.

  35. The newly designed Nobel peace prize.

    http://tinyurl.com/ykpe2f3

  36. Uh oh. My thumb votes just enetered negative territory. brb

    {drives to trophy shop with a wad of cash}

  37. I gave this post a thumbs down even though I like it.

    I hit because I love.

  38. Shit. I got a green ribbon for swimming when i was 7. Fuck off, least i was tryin.

  39. My mum said I was first in her heart

  40. Here’s a list of The Won’s accomplilshments: He’s notBush. That’s all those pussies in Sweeden or Norway or wherever needed to know. He’s notBush. So STFU

  41. Zimbabwe’s Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai should have won. The dude survived death squads and has to co-rule with a homicidal maniac. He has serious stones.

  42. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Now come on….

    http://tinyurl.com/yf88x3d

  43. Your mum was not being entirely truthful, Shimmy.

  44. I Won again, so Shut.The.Fuck. Up

  45. In honor of Obama’s incredible achievement, today I’m going to listen to Stoner Metal .

    Up first: The sky is Falling.

  46. its just a slap at bush for all his war mongering…gag!

  47. shimmy that is so sweet of your Mom and you need a hug

  48. I’ll bet TOTUS is pissed. He’s really the one who did all the speechifying.

  49. Actually, I looked it up. He won for the often overlooked and obscure “sharp creases ” category.

  50. Here’s Obama’s trophy I just made:

    http://tinyurl.com/yke9rnz

  51. Cuffy, the bleg rates an automatic thumbs-down.

  52. >> The newly designed Nobel peace prize.

    Hahahaha… added that to the post over at ace’s

  53. Did those 6 million Jews ever get their nobel peace prize? Cause they died pretty peacefully. What about all those hundreds of thousands of Tutsis? Of course we can’t forget about Pol Pot’s Cambodians. Didn’t they all starve w/o causing a fuss?

  54. Here’s Obama’s trophy I just made:

    http://tinyurl.com/yke9rnz

    Hahahahaha! You have mad phat skillz.

    Cuff, I added the Heisman pic as an update to this POS post.

  55. Everybody Crazy ‘Bout A Sharp Creased Man !!

  56. Obama just won the Sprint Cup

  57. Hey Rosetta: are you guys catholic, or heathens like Michael?

  58. Someone has to photoshop Obama with the bike helmet on some rad jump, so we can declare him winner of the Xgames, too.

  59. Stanley Cup update!!!

  60. Great p-shop idea, shitty p-shop execution:

    http://tinyurl.com/yjbdrsd

  61. This just in, President Obama wins the National Bowling Championship.

  62. FUCK!!! He beat Beyonce out for the Grammy!

  63. Rosie, Tbom’s Sprint Cup needs to be added up there. I don’t know how to drive this blog that well…

  64. and the Grammy…

  65. And the 2009 BassMasters fishing champion is…..

  66. Sprint Cup update!!!

    This is going to be the best post ever.

  67. And the 2012 Special Olympics top mdeal winner is….

  68. Thank you all for this award. Winning the Best New Artist Grammy really means a lot to me, but let’s face it. I totally deserve it. “All Wee Weed Up” is one of the best albums of all time.

  69. Cano, Mrs. Rosetta is Catholic. I’m a heathen Baptist.

  70. I meant “medal”! Or did I, since is was the Special Olympics?

  71. He won “Best In Show”

  72. Tell Mrs. R that there have been daily Rosaries going. Those islanders sure do take that praying seriously.

  73. These are coming in fast and furious — Obama Wins Super Bowl!

    http://tinyurl.com/yhzvpnt

  74. And Rosetta: you read pretty good for a Baptist.

  75. Obama wins this indian dude

  76. This just in….. President Obama finds Godot.

  77. Agiledog is drunk already.

  78. This just in….. President Obama finds Godot.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

    That’s excellent.

  79. That’s excellent.
    _______________________

    Of course. I’m pretty much one of the best commenters ever.

  80. President Obama wins the Americano Commenter Award for insight and humor.

  81. Agiledog is drunk already.

    No, not yet. But this news will drive me to it.

  82. Elsewhere, Ann Althouse asked why not award him the Nobel Prize in Literature for Dreams of My Father, too, while you’re at it?

  83. Tell Mrs. R that there have been daily Rosaries going. Those islanders sure do take that praying seriously.

    Will do. Thanks buddy.

    And Rosetta: you read pretty good for a Baptist.

    Hooked on Fonix.

  84. I wonder which ACORN chapter he’ll donate the cash award to.

  85. They just announced the Ig Nobel awards last week. Looks like they jumped the gun.
    Or did the Nobel committe jump the shark?

  86. >> I’m a heathen Baptist.

    Me too. Let’s go kick the shit outta some Lutherns and take their lunch money.

  87. I’m so sorry I woke up this morning. This is just disgusting!!!

  88. Obama wins this indian dude

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I’m telling you, Obama and his minions may think this is great news now but they are going to regret it before the weekend is through.

    When they awarded Obama the Nobel peace prize, they also handed the world a million funny jokes at his expense.

  89. Now I’m sorry I gave this poat a thumbs down. It is six times awesome now.

  90. Hold the phone!!!

    I can now see why Obama won the Nobel PEACE prize.

  91. From Sohos’s Facechimp poat, “ACORN must have registered the voters on the Nobel committee”

  92. is it me, or does Norway look like ejaculate

  93. It is six times awesome now.
    ___________________________

    I know, I’m pretty much six times awesome.

  94. Post Updated with Grammy & Super Bowl!

  95. From Sohos’s Facechimp poat, “ACORN must have registered the voters on the Nobel committee”

    HAHAHAHA!

  96. President Obama wins Fields Medal for solving equation: awesome X 6 = Americano.

  97. And Rosie Updated over my Update!

  98. Obama wins……… Oh, I just threw up in my mouth. a LOT

  99. I have been wide a wake for a while, finally got out of bed. It’s 4:00 am here. I hit H2 and what do I find out? Obama won the Nobel Prize. Like most of you I thought this was a joke. And like most of you I still do.

    Hey, Noble Prize voters, you are the biggest appeasing, asswiping, douche douching,
    pathetic, dangerous twats in the world.

  100. And Rosie Updated over my Update!

    I did? HAHAHAHA. Sorry, Dingus.

    I’ll be done updating now….

    SUPER BOWL UPDATE!!

  101. Cuffy, are you doing those photoshops yourself?

  102. President Obama wins the coveted “Happy Plate Award” for finishing his waffles.

  103. *nominates self for Nobel Peace Prize for creating “Peace Through Douche” slogan*

  104. In other news, Obama is a lock to win a Grammy award for” Metro-Sexual Healing”

  105. Weird, Obama won this too:

    http://tinyurl.com/yrefcv

  106. PEACE prize? I thought it was the Appeasement Prize. Now I’m confused.

  107. PJ, all of the update photos are REAL.

    That crappy Oscar pic I linked was a shitty p-shop (not mine).

  108. *nominates self for Nobel Peace Prize for creating “Peace Through Douche” slogan*

    hahahahahahahahahaaha…and so much more deserved.

    Get ready everyone, Obama is going to win a lot more BS by the time this is over.

  109. P.E.A.C.E Prize:

    People Eating Ass Chocolate Everyday

  110. President Obama wins the “All promises expire” award sponsored by the National Divorce Lawyers Association.

    David Letterman remarks “I thought I was LOCK this year…”

  111. PJ, all of the update photos are REAL.

    ooooooooh, ok. They’re real.

    ok

  112. “The deadline for nominees was 2/1. His first 10 days must have been just awesome.”

    Scott, is that true? If yes, that is sick.

  113. Grammy Update!

  114. This is a joke, right?!?

  115. Wish it was, Chief.

  116. HAHAHAHA! The grammy cracks me up.

  117. You do know that Obama has actually won two Grammys, right?

  118. Try to keep up, burritohead.

    http://tinyurl.com/2rwua6

  119. *climbs outta bed late*

    *eats a bowl of Oatmeal Squares*

    *turns on radio*

    W.T.F.?

    *climbs back in bed and closes eyes*

    Daddy, why won’t my nightmare end?

  120. WHICH ONE OF YOU FAGS SLIPPED ME A ROOFIE!!!?

  121. hahahahaha my libtard friend Tammy who lives in Colorado just dumped me as her friend off facechimp….I feel so rejected…hahahahahaha

  122. Try to keep up, burritohead.

    I think I blocked it out. Thanks for stabbing the reminder in my gut like a knife. YOU ROCK!!

  123. OK, I’ve seen, in my lifetime, the Nobel Prize go from highly prestigious award to a fucking punchline. What a huge steaming pile of shit the Nobel committee is.

  124. hahahahaha my libtard friend Tammy who lives in Colorado just dumped me as her friend off facechimp….I feel so rejected

    HAHAHA! I”m wondering if that will happen to me because I’ve reposted some of the hostage update photos on there. Gonna piss some relatives off that’s for sure.

    *shrugs shoulders

    oh well

  125. Great poat Cuffy.

    *oh geez*

    Great updates rosetta.

    *gives both a trophy*

    I’d like to show it to Mr. Beasn but he is on a conference call right now and would get kinda cranky if I tried.

    I came down the stairs this morning and asked him if it were true about Little Boy Affirmative Action everything getting this and he laughed. Says they are just stroking them so he would keep doing what they want – dismantle the US.

  126. Sohos – I’ve had 3 liberal “friends” drop me on facechimp. I consider it an honor since they displayed their tolerance for all to see.

  127. stroking him – STROKING HIM

  128. Rumor has it the Tingle overload was too much to overcome. Chris Matthews is gonna suck his own dick live on air.

  129. Sohos, Tammy has really, really bad hair. It’s prolly best you guys are no longer friends.

  130. Dang. I drank all the beer last night. Sorry if you guys didn’t get any.

    And now the Nobel news. Well, at least they didn’t give it to Hugo Chavez or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

  131. “Sohos, Tammy has really, really bad hair. It’s prolly best you guys are no longer friends.”

    hahahahahahahahaha

  132. Beasn – The video was for your comment!

  133. My thoughts on Obama in general and his winning the NPP in Particular:

    http://tinyurl.com/lym98s

  134. Obama to Make Nobel Peace Prize Remarks: Watch Live

    Is it too early in the day to make a drinking game out of this?

    Ok, when he says “I” or “me” take a drink.

    *10 minutes later pj’s in hospital getting stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning

  135. This will only encourage Obama to screw (hard and nasty) his own country.

    THIS IS NOT GOOD.

  136. Well, at least they didn’t give it to Hugo Chavez or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

    And the difference would be? Seems to me that all three are working towards the destruction of America.

  137. hahahahaha Thanks PJM!!!!!

  138. Erick Erickson: Barack Obama is becoming Jimmy Carter faster than Jimmy Carter became Jimmy Carter.

  139. MCPO I know if “friends” cant agree to disagree then they arent friends. Plus she attacked me personally b/c I mispelled the word brilliance…so ghey! For those of you NOT on facechimp sorry for the intrusion…carry on

  140. I mispelled the word misspelled

  141. sohos, that’s because if you’re a republican, you’re obviously a dumb, ignit, redneck and as we all know, rednecks can’t spell wurth a durn.

  142. And the difference would be? Seems to me that all three are working towards the destruction of America.

    Well, at least this way an American got it.

    Go team.

  143. I thought about kicking the spelling pedant’s ass for you, Sohita, but figured you could take care of it yourself. H8er.

  144. Well, at least this way an American got it.

    Go team.

    HAHAHAHA!

    YAY US!!!!!!

  145. GOOD MORNING!!!! Relax, I’m here now. No need to stand – really.

    I was laughing at the SE Cupp pics last night. You know if she was a prima donna, she could be called “Diva Cupp.”

  146. I mispelled the word misspelled.

    No worries, sohhoos! It’s a new world!

    http://tinyurl.com/yjxqhls

  147. TOUR DE FRANCE UPDATE!!!!

  148. TOUR DE FRANCE UPDATE!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

  149. TOUR DE FRANCE UPDATE!!!!

    Leave Uni alone.

  150. is it me, or does Norway look like ejaculate

    It’s just you. I think it looks like a withered old peen that can’t get up.

  151. How bout a lil freak out Peej?
    http://tinyurl.com/yj3w5g4
    /

  152. TOUR DE FRANCE UPDATE!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    That might be the best one rosettaletta. Good for ickle Barry.

    HA! And to think sweasel was starting to get pissed off about him, yesterday.

  153. Ha haa haa … this is turning into the best poat eva!

  154. sohos, congratulations.

  155. Obama finally gets his own special parking spot.

    Reserved for Nobelistas!

  156. what a load of shit.

    Bring on BBF!

  157. Here’s same AWESOME news for our Award Winning Post-Racial African-American President: http://tinyurl.com/24f5wf

  158. Who’s doing BBF this week? Are we back to Rosetta’s weak-ass ruminants?

  159. Yeah. But what about the Cy Young? He ain’t shit if he can’t win the Cy Young. Especially with this awesome form.

  160. I am. Be patient, it’s not time yet.

  161. In a stunning development, Obama is even named Grand Wizard of the Peckerwood, Mississippi Kleagle Local #79!

    http://tinyurl.com/ykwdjj8

  162. HAHAHAHA

    Mr. Beasn took a short break from his call to come up here to tell me something.

    He says this poat is ‘most excellent’.

    *gives the boyz another ribbon*

  163. In a stunning development, Obama is even named Grand Wizard of the Peckerwood, Mississippi Kleagle Local #79!

    http://tinyurl.com/ykwdjj8

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That needs to be an update, Cuff.

  164. I will return to BBF in another week or two so everyone STFU. I think DiT is doing it today.

  165. Fine. I’ll do it you lazy bastard!!

  166. Heh, thanks.

    STFU

  167. “The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists – the Taliban and Hamas this morning – in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize,” DNC Communications Director Brad Woodhouse said in a statement.

    Yet, Hamas is congratulating the anti-Semite who occupies the White House.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSExogKSOyc

    The preceding march was played in Yorktown, Va when Cornwallis surrendered to George Washington.

  168. Your Kleagle update is teh BEST!!

    This is seriously one of the funniest posts ever. The is so much joke potential here, this could go on for days.

    I wish I could photoshop a picture of Obama walking on the moon.

  169. Cognitive Dissonance 101

    Scenario 1: Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Price

    Scenario 2: Only 14% of African-Americans feel society is fair and decent. That number has dropped 41 points from 55% a month after Obama took office. Sixty-six percent (66%) of black voters think society is unfair and discriminatory, up 26 points since early February.

    So, the peace-maker (anyone hear a Mentos commercial here? “Peace-mecca”!) has proven to be a divisive and alienating figure along racial lines, inter alia. How does one reconcile the dictionary meaning of “peace” and with the animosity and suspicion that Obama leaves in his wake?

  170. I wish I could photoshop a picture of Obama walking on the moon.

    The funny thing — PJM’s burritohead notwithstanding — is that all these are actual photos.

  171. At the very least we know he should have won the Democratic Party Salesman Of The Year for 2008.

  172. The funny thing — PJM’s burritohead notwithstanding — is that all these are actual photos.

    I know! That’s what I think makes all the updates so funny.

    Hahahahaha. I have another idea. You are about to see the worst photoshop in history.

    brb

  173. Dummies! Obama won the “Peas Prize” not the Peace Prize.

  174. I want to take back my thumbs down!!!!

  175. Chief:

    Yup

  176. Oh. My. God.

    I woke up thinking the Hostages would show me some boobs. They did. The Nobel Committee.

  177. I want to take back my thumbs down!!!!

    Don’t fret, romy. For every thumbs down I get, I buy myself a 4 foot tall trophy and a tiara. It’s all good.

  178. The tiara goes well with the tuck.

  179. “The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists – the Taliban and Hamas this morning – in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize,”

    Well then how ome the GOP didn’t win the Nobel instead ? It seems they definitley meet the Nobel’s criteria.

  180. Puka deserves something. She was responsible for a particularly large turd in her box this morning.

  181. boobs up

  182. I wonder what this award is going to do to General Stanley A. McChrystal’s request for more troops?

  183. Cuffy, let me know if you think I should delete update 8.

    I don’t want to ruin the otherwise brilliant post.

  184. She was responsible for a particularly large turd in her box this morning.

    Sorry, that was me. I didn’t think you wanted me crapping in your bushes…

  185. Update 8 looks like it was made by a 14 year old Down’s child!

  186. Rosetta goes all post-modern with the world’s worst p-shop!

    PJM thinks it’s real, tho…

  187. Holy crap. Great minds, Rosetta!

    I asked slublog for a tour de france shop this morning, too!

  188. BEST PHOTOSHOP EVER!

    “Sorry, that was me. I didn’t think you wanted me crapping in your bushes…”

    Well, I guess you did the right thing.

  189. Update 8 looks like it was made by a 14 year old Down’s child!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    That’s an insult to 14 year old Down’s children.

  190. Check this out!

  191. If you had any doubts as to the times we live in, this should erase them.

    I heard the remarks in Glenn Beck this morning. I thought it was a joke and a brilliant edit until I changed the station.

  192. Check this out!

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  193. I don’t have any pictures to prove it, but I’m pretty sure that Obama is in the running for firearem and ammo salesman of the year from the NRA. In a sick economy, both of these products are flying off the shelf at a record pace. That sumbitch has caused me to spend $2500 so far this year.

  194. Wait, these really are real photos?

  195. UPDATE!!!!

  196. ok, now that I see the pregnant obama photo, I truly believe they’re real photos.

  197. Hey, good job keeping the Roman numerals straight on the Updates, Rosie!

    Here’s your trophy: http://tinyurl.com/ykjxoks

  198. PJ – What is your problem today?

    Don’t make me come over there! http://tinyurl.com/mlo7ks

  199. Hahahahaha. My Roman Numerals trophy has bowling pins on it.

  200. I’m not having a problem MCPO. What’s your problem thinking I have a problem?

    Don’t make me let you come over here and http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3177/3075630932_782c38b568.jpg

  201. PattyAnn teaches PJM a lesson: http://tinyurl.com/ygt62qw

  202. PattyAnn updated the post.

  203. Obama takes over paid programming this

  204. alright, that caption made no sense

  205. Wheee! PA in da house!

  206. What caption do you want on it, TBOM?

  207. hi pa! come spank teach me a lesson

  208. PA…I’m talking about the link I just posted…just don’t have it today

  209. well that didn’t work.

    just pretend, k?

  210. Tbom, I just put it in the update with “Clio Awards Just announced!”

  211. I’m spanking you a lesson, PJ!

  212. hawt

  213. Obama is awarded for his vision

  214. No matter how many awards Obama wins, at the end of the day he still has to go home to this:

  215. Obama is awarded for his vision

    HAHAHAHAHA!

  216. Easy with the cheezy, peeps. The p-shop updates are starting to jump teh funneh shark.

  217. Easy with the cheezy, peeps. The p-shop updates are starting to jump teh funneh shark.

    whatever cheese dick, that shamwow pic is funny

  218. This just in, Obama awarded only second-in-history immaculate conception as seen in this un-retouched photo

    oh for pity sakes, you don’t even know what the immaculate conception is.

    sheesh

    and cuffy? Obama has jumped the shark

  219. Tucker – STFU!

  220. you don’t even know what the immaculate conception is.

    Little white bird flies up Mary’s dress and, Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom, knocked up with the baby Jesus. . . that about it??

  221. Didn’t mean it wasn’t funny, Tbom. They just upset the continuum of real pics (looks at PJM).

    Now, a thread of 100% p-shops is another story: http://tinyurl.com/ylnog7k

    I blame Rosetta the Roman Numeral Fag for starting it.

  222. Via The Corner:

    Now There’s an Idea [Jonah Goldberg]

    From a reader:

    Any chance we can get Kanye West to attend the ceremony for the Nobel Peace Prize. Talk about a time for him to step up.

    10/09 08:55 AMShare

  223. MCPO!!!! I’m saddened that you do not know what the Immaculate Conception is either.

    *shakes head sadly

    Mary was conceived without original sin.

  224. PJM – STFU!

  225. Now, a thread of 100% p-shops is another story: http://tinyurl.com/ylnog7k

    wow, a lot of originality on that blog…that is sooooo 5 hours ago

  226. That ShamWow picture sucks monkey balls.

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

  227. I won a spelling bee trophy in the 5th grade.

  228. I won a spelling bee trophy in the 5th grade.

    …and then promptly shoved it up your poop chute

  229. …and then promptly shoved it up your poop chute

    Actually I did that before the spelling bee. I really wanted to win.

  230. […] UPDATE II: For a more humorous take on the matter I suggest diving into the comments at the Hostages that accompany this funny post. […]

  231. Speaking of the Nobel, don’t forget that Guatamalan woman who won for the ‘autobiography’ she made up out of whole cloth.

  232. http://tinyurl.com/ygw7gfp

  233. UPDATE II: For a more humorous take on the matter I suggest diving into the comments at the Hostages that accompany this funny post.

    Awwww, jeez. Now we have to be funny for an audience? Rosetta, go get the ball gag and put on your gimp suit.

  234. http://tinyurl.com/phgv37

    That is all.

  235. WOLRD’S BEST BUS DRIVER!!!

  236. Don’t feel any pressure jazz; just be your usual rollocking selves…And feel free to tell any visitors to STFU if they don’t like it-or even if they do!

    This post was just too good not to share…

  237. Speaking of the Nobel, don’t forget that Guatamalan woman who won for the ‘autobiography’ she made up out of whole cloth.

    From Powerline, a list of less-than-stellar Nobel award recipients:

    2007
    AL GORE The award to Al Gore and the IPCC “for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change” fits in with a subset of cosmopolitan frauds, fakers, murderers, thieves, and no-accounts going back about twenty years.

    2005
    MOHAMED ELBARADEI (joint winner). He’s done such a nice job with Iran.

    2004
    WANGARI MAATHAI The Kenyan ecologist peacefully teaches that the AIDS virus is a biological agent deliberately created by the Man.

    2002
    JIMMY CARTER JR., former President of the United States of America. A true cosmopolitan, he has undermined the foreign policy of his own country and vouched for the bona fides of tyrants and murderers all over the world. Commenting on the award, Nobel Committee Chairman Gunnar Berge emphasized that the award was meant as a denunciation of American policy toward Iraq. “It should be interpreted as a criticism of the line that the [Bush] administration has taken,” Berge said. “It’s a kick in the leg to all that follow the same line as the United States.”

    2001
    UNITED NATIONS, New York, NY, USA.
    KOFI ANNAN, United Nations Secretary General. Among other things, they respectively served as the vehicle for, and presided over, one of the biggest scams in history.

    1994
    YASSER ARAFAT (joint winner), Chairman of the Executive Committee of the PLO, President of the Palestinian National Authority. He was a cold-blooded murderer both before and after receiving the award.

    1992
    RIGOBERTA MENCHU TUM, Guatemala. She is the notorious Guatemalan faker and author, sort of, of I, Rigoberta Menchu. Like President Obama, she is a memoirist of distinction.

    1988
    THE UNITED NATIONS PEACE-KEEPING FORCES New York, NY, U.S.A. Notwithstanding rapes and sex abuse committed by the team in Kosovo, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Guinea and the Congo, still doing fine work all over the world.

    1976
    BETTY WILLIAMS, United Kingdom, founder of the Northern Ireland Peace Movement (later renamed Community of Peace People), who in later years repeatedly called for the assassination of President George Bush. How peaceful can you get?

    1973
    LE DUC THO (with Henry Kissinger) for the 1973 peace with honor bequeathed to the fortunate people of Vietnam.

    Given the ignominious history of Nobel awards, Obama’s award has about as much esteem as this.

    /Yeah – I went there. When else was I going to get to use that?

  238. BOWLING UPDATE!!!!

  239. The Pol Pot Peace Award.

  240. http://tinyurl.com/phgv37

    That is all.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! PUP!!

  241. As a little girl Obama won the E-Z Bake Oven cook-off three years in a row.

  242. as much esteem as this.

    that tattoo is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

    I mean, the detail is horrific. the tat artist should be shot

  243. OMG, I’m dying.

    Are you sure some of those aren’t photoshops?

  244. Are you sure some of those aren’t photoshops?

    Only the obvious 8, 9 and 10. Hahahaha. That’s what makes them hilarious I think. They are all real pictures.

    Hi Nice Deb!!!

  245. Gmail, Rosie. Look at it now, too – not after your Metamucil kicks and gives you some relief.

  246. oh sure, see how nice to you are to NiceDeb when she questions the authenticity of the photos?

    oh wait, you weren’t exactly mean to me either. I just expected you to be. Now I’m confused.

  247. […] The Hostages have great a round up of more of our rookie President’s lesser known accomplishments. […]

  248. Welp, I’m back from lunch (BURP!). Herself is coming home a day early from Pittsburgh. . . anybody have a need for a dead hooker and an ounce of Bolivian nose candy?

  249. oh wait, you weren’t exactly mean to me either. I just expected you to be. Now I’m confused.

    Shut up dummy.

  250. Uh, tell me more about the hooker…

  251. anybody have a need for a dead hooker and an ounce of Bolivian nose candy?

    As a matter of fact….

  252. Uh, tell me more about the hooker…

    Dead, redhead, I think she came with Mesa. . . anything else you need to know?

  253. I don’t pay for my dead hookers.

    Wut?

  254. Mesa – I didn’t say she was dead when she came in.

  255. Either way….not payin’.

  256. *rolls up dead hooker in an old carpet and takes it to the curb*

    *puts “FREE” sign on it*

    Problem solved!

  257. OH YOU SCAMPS!

    This will teach Nice Deb to link here for sure.

  258. Man, did I pick a great day to “work from home.” This poat has gotten funnier and funnier as the day has gone on.

  259. Shut up dummy.

    OH RLY?!?!?!

    I have your address now, you’re screwed!

    *gets in minivan

    I’ll see you in 5 days!!!

  260. PJM – Got that case of adult diapers??

  261. gmail again, Rosie

  262. Man, I wish I didn’t have so much to do today. You guyes are funnah.

    Ok, off again.

  263. PJ, if you’re gonna go visit Rosie, howsabout swinging up here for a little visit? It’s only another 10 hours or so.

    We could chat. Go shopping. Girl stuff.

  264. Have a pillow fight.

    You know, then whatever happens …

  265. VERY IMPORTANT ALERT

    I just got back from shopping for memorial service clothing, and I fit into (and bought) a size FOUR.

    FOUR.

    I can’t tell you when I last fit into that. I mean, both legs. And zipped closed.

    Of course, my boobs are but a fraction of their former glory.

  266. ^there are tradeoffs

  267. Yeah, this is awesome — http://news.cnet.com/8301-27080_3-10370164-245.html?tag=rtcol;pop

  268. Some of us would die for a little glory.

  269. BASKETBALL UPDATE!!!

  270. Wiser?

    NOOOOOO!!!!!

  271. I have a video coming soon…

  272. Whoah — http://imgur.com/q9WLT.jpg

  273. Wiser?

    NOOOOOO!!!!!

    Hahahahahahaha.

  274. Here ’tis:

  275. I have a video coming soon…

    Exellent.

  276. Those people are only mostly white.

    RAAAAACIST!!!

  277. Samoans I think…

  278. Carin? Is this your new dress?

    I wouldn’t know size 4 from size 40, but those boobs look like an improper fraction to me.

  279. Put the link in the post, dumbass.

  280. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That’s my favorite video ever.

    Although, Cuff, did you see my comment ealier that Jughead has actually won two Grammys? For the all important “Spoken Word” category for his two books. But Grammys still.

    Anyway, A++ on that video. Exellent work. That should go viral all over TittyWeb Jenkins.

  281. A 4!!!!! I havent seen a 4 in 7 years!!!!! God, I am so jealous

  282. Geez. My photoshop was that bad?

  283. Tucker – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I’ll kill you last.

  284. I had to keep it under a minute, PA & wanted to keep it p-shop-free. And hey, I left my Kleagle one on the cutting room floor, too — didn’t want to make it too hot to go viral.

  285. Great vid Cuffy. I linked it on my Facechimp page, so that should be good for, like, 3 hits.

  286. That was great, Cuffy!

  287. Cuffy.

    You sir are an artist. And I mean that in a non-homo way.

  288. Cuff, I wasn’t talking about the video. I see what you did and it’s great!

    I mean that my photoshop was completely removed from the post.

  289. If I did that Andy it would cost me more “friends”

  290. I mean that my photoshop was completely removed from the post.

    Oh. That wasn’t me — I’ve been fucking with that vid for the past hour.

    MAAAAAAAARE!

  291. Of course, my boobs are but a fraction of their former glory.

    And all the Baby Jesuses wept and were inconsolable.

  292. I love Cuffy’s video for its copyright infringment!

    The Obama stuff is pretty funny, too.

  293. I left my Kleagle one on the cutting room floor, too — didn’t want to make it too hot to go viral.

    That sucks. That’s my favorite. And I think you could have left it in. It just demonstrates how ridiculous and hilarious this all is.

    PA, was yours the “First Man On the Moon”? update? I accidentally deleted the picture but I didn’t know whose it was. Sorry about that!

  294. If I did that Andy it would cost me more “friends”

    I have a few lib “friends” too. They know enough to STFU. Most of the time.

  295. You sir are an artist.

    I second that. And I mean “artist” in a Conservative, black beret and black jeans, Bohemian kind of Djarum smoking, loose morals, militant atheist kind of way. :-)

  296. Nah, he’s an artiste’.

  297. Yep. That was it.

  298. Cuffster, I stole it and posted it on my crapblog, so maybe it’ll be good for 1 hit.

  299. Please put yours back up, PA. I will try to not delete it again. Hahaha.

  300. No, I liked the other one better. I just wanted to know where mine went.

  301. Have a pillow fight.

    You know, then whatever happens …

    RAWR!!!!!!!!!

  302. I thought you did an excellent job on your photoshop, PA.

    Here you go.

    http://tinyurl.com/yhalcyz

  303. Hey, PA! What are you and PJM doing??

    http://tinyurl.com/yzrutpe

  304. Didn’t Obama win the Cy Young Award this year??

    http://tinyurl.com/yj224wk

  305. PJM, I just saw your comment at YouTube. Very sweet.

    STFU

  306. Have a pillow fight.

    You know, then whatever happens …

    http://tinyurl.com/yhnfxny

    /Puerile, yes. Still fun, though!

  307. Didn’t Obama win the Cy Young Award this year??

    Heh, I nearly used mom jeans baseball and that caption, Chief.

    In fact, I originally storyboarded the vid with the whole sad lead up with various Obama defeats, culminating in the Nobel and all the rest. But then the vid would’ve eaten the whole soundtrack and would prolly get yanked for copyright.

    That, and no one watches long ass videos. Short and punchy! Like Rosetta and his clown.

  308. I would like to send him a resined cow pie as he is the best bullshiter ever.

  309. but cuffy, I’m a fan. 4 realz

  310. The Special Olympics one got me. Hahahahahahaha!!!!

  311. Shut up, Retard.

  312. Good Gutfeld.

    http://tinyurl.com/yjkp5mk

  313. Shut up STFU, Retard.

    FTFY

  314. Nah, I couldn’t muster that much energy just then, Romy.

  315. From IMAO “Obama just used the toilet like a big boy! They should give him the Nobel Pee Prize!”

  316. )))))

  317. What’s left for him to accomplish except getting his own reality show and posing nude in Playgirl?

  318. […] award obama the big prize 10 10 2009 Update:  His One-ness has just been awarded the 2010 Stanley Cup – no need to compete – fold the […]

  319. […] Its like not setting the hook on the biggun. But, the god news is the President had a winning day: Everyone Gets A Trophy! The H2: Punking Your Balloons Since March, 2009 Laughed my you know what off with this! __________________ […]

  320. Youse guys will be thrilled to know that I just got most of these pictures forwarded to me in an uncredited email.


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