Fuck Salt!

I bought this book for you PJ:

CraftsForRetarded

Dear Wiserbud:

FlowersOnTheDoor

No, Bert!  No!

BertEatsBabies

CRITICAL UPDATE!!!!!

Rosetta is known to frequent this establishment:

MegaFlicks

July 30, 2009
Categories: alcohol, bbq, Books, FUCK SALT!!! . . Author: Jewstin The Hammer

249 Comments

  1. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 8:33 pm

    MARE! Make him stop!

  2. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 8:38 pm

    I don’t know why, but Sox just walked up and started licking my leg.

  3. Comment by Jewstin on July 30, 2009 8:46 pm

    . . . Sox just walked up and started licking my leg.

    It was a taste test. He’s probably going to eat you tonight.

  4. Comment by shim on July 30, 2009 8:47 pm

    He’s trying to get the hairball taste outta his mouth by licking piss.

  5. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 8:49 pm

    So, the gubmint has already pulled the plug on the “cash for clunkers” program. A month after they started it, a week after they promulgated the final rules. And lord knows how many people have signed on for it, and will soon find themselves on the hook for the rebate they got.

  6. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 8:50 pm

    It was a taste test. He’s probably going to eat you tonight.

    Sure, but why the leg. We all know he’s going to eat my brains.

  7. Comment by Mare on July 30, 2009 8:51 pm

    “I don’t know why, but Sox just walked up and started licking my leg”

    You dropped crumbs from your Ding Dongs and drops of your bourbon.

  8. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 9:00 pm

    Sox is more of a merlot cat.

  9. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 9:04 pm

    I licked a lady’s leg!

  10. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 9:05 pm

    What, you didn’t shave a few, MCPO?

  11. Comment by shim on July 30, 2009 9:10 pm

    Chief, inside or outside? This is important.

  12. Comment by Car in on July 30, 2009 9:11 pm

    HI everyone! I’ve got no internet bandwidth left. My dad used it all up. I’m going through Hostage withdrawal.

    PTL this didn’t happen on HHD.

  13. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 9:14 pm

    Shim – Yes.

  14. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 9:15 pm

    Car in – Tell Dad to quit hanging out on the AARP site!

  15. Comment by Vmaximus on July 30, 2009 9:17 pm

    The new month is in 2 days Pie in, er Car in. Hang in there!

  16. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 9:18 pm

    I guess now we can say all the nasty things about Car in that we’ve been holding off from sayin’…

    Just sayin’…

  17. Comment by shim on July 30, 2009 9:20 pm

    HAHAHAHA Good man!!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6gtISlR2dk

  18. Comment by Sean M. on July 30, 2009 9:28 pm

    Sure, but why the leg. We all know he’s going to eat my brains.

    Well, he’s still gonna be really hungry after that, so…

  19. Comment by Vmaximus on July 30, 2009 9:29 pm

    Hahaha!
    Good one Sean!

    Sorry X.

  20. Comment by Sean M. on July 30, 2009 9:31 pm

    Couldn’t resist that low-hanging fruit.

  21. Comment by Michael on July 30, 2009 9:33 pm

    Car in – Tell Dad to ease up on the porn for awhile.

  22. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 9:33 pm

    http://tinyurl.com/ldetzm

    Sent this to MCPO while I was stuck at the factory. If he posted it here, my apologies for the double poat.

  23. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 9:37 pm

    **waves to Romy**

    Hey girl.

    **scowls at Michael**

  24. Comment by sohos on July 30, 2009 9:37 pm

    I’ve got no internet bandwidth left.

    what does that mean? seriously

  25. Comment by Vmaximus on July 30, 2009 9:38 pm

    She uses satellite Sohos and it is capped at a certain amount per month.

  26. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 9:40 pm

    Hey, SOHOS!! Whatcha doing??

    http://tiny.pl/hh5hc

  27. Comment by Dave in Texas on July 30, 2009 9:40 pm

    She uses a service (I’m guessin satellite) that meters so much bandwidth for a given fee per month. A fixed Mb up/back dealio.

    Once you’re out, you’re out.

  28. Comment by Vmaximus on July 30, 2009 9:42 pm

    Nice MCPO

  29. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 9:43 pm

    MCPO, I thought beasn was our designated cake decorator…

  30. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 9:44 pm

    **waves back at XBrad**

  31. Comment by sohos on July 30, 2009 9:50 pm

    Thats just weird. Thanks for telling me. I didnt know what that meant.

  32. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 9:51 pm

    You know I’m always thrilled to see you, Romy.

    But I’m starting to get performance anxiety. I’m not sure how many more good ‘splodey videos I can find…

  33. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 10:00 pm

    XBrad, guns, mortars, airplanes, rockets, missiles, fireworks, tanks, lasers, archery, and general mayhem and destruction are all good. Basically anything manly that doesn’t involve belching, farting, or scratching your balls. And if all else fails, a cat doing something stupid.

  34. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 10:02 pm

    Well, belching, farting and ball scratching constitute about 95% of the videos on youtube. Coincidently, they constitute about 95% of the activities of the Army as well. I can attest that I scratched my balls a lot more than I fired a weapon.

    Do cats ever do anything smart?

  35. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 10:11 pm

    My son just called and he was stoked! He got a 28 min flight with Sean Tucker at Oshkosh.

    Here’s a sample of their stuff: http://tiny.pl/hh5hd

    After taking the controls for some maneuvers, Sean suggested that #1 son was ready to solo!

  37. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 10:12 pm

    Basically anything manly that doesn’t involve belching, farting, or scratching your balls.

    I knew i shouldn’t have done all that at lunch!

  38. Comment by sohos on July 30, 2009 10:14 pm

    That is awesome MCPO

  39. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:15 pm

    The smartest of cats can upheave a hairball the size of a major sports ball then quickly can knock it toward its human as if the human delivered the offending mess.

  40. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:16 pm

    Romy, I didn’t understand the cartoon. splain it to me pleeze.

  41. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:16 pm

    howdy!! did anyone peak at the live cam?

    There was some retarded guy there with a white baseball hat on. You guys would have seen him if you looked. He was cracking me up. He was having more fun than the kids.

  42. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:17 pm

    Is there something wrong with farting and belching? In my family, both males and females considered these things to be Olympic sports.

  43. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 10:17 pm

    PJM – Saw him. Thought he might have been a “special” person.

  44. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 10:18 pm

    Sohos – Did you click on either of the videos? These guys are really good!

  45. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:18 pm

    PJM, the kinds of cams most guy Hostages look at usually have a different feel to them than the one you’re talking about … just heresay on my part but …

  46. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 10:19 pm

    MCPO, that’s massively cool. Pretty interesting little clip they have.

  47. Comment by Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere on July 30, 2009 10:19 pm

    Sure, but why the leg. We all know he’s going to eat my brains.
    Because he wanted to try the main course, not the hors d'orderves. Duh.

  48. Comment by mesablue on July 30, 2009 10:19 pm

    Saw the guy with the hat laying on the ground — figured it was PJD.

  49. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:19 pm

    but I was on that cam clintbird isn’t that enough?

    and yes mcpo, he was quite special

  50. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 10:20 pm

    There was some retarded guy there with a white baseball hat on. You guys would have seen him if you looked. He was cracking me up. He was having more fun than the kids.

    I thought it might have been PJD.

    Are you sure you wore black shorts? I thought I saw you in white shorts.

  51. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:21 pm

    I was actually working so I missed the opportunity PJM … but I’m sure you looked just MAREVELOUS!!!

  52. Comment by Dave in Texas on July 30, 2009 10:22 pm

    Who was the dude in the trenchcoat with the kids?

  53. Comment by sohos on July 30, 2009 10:30 pm

    I did. very cool.

    good night yall

  54. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:35 pm

    Sleep well, Ms. Sohito

  55. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 10:36 pm

    Good night, sohita.

    Romy, I didn’t understand the cartoon. splain it to me pleeze

    You serious, or you yanking my chain?

  56. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 10:38 pm

    Yeah, Romy, I’m gonna have to say that I didn’t get the cartoon either.

  57. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:38 pm

    Romy, I’m serious. I just looked at it again and I still don’t get it???

  58. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 10:38 pm

    MCPO, wonder if I saw Sean Tucker at the 2003 Dayton air show?

  59. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 10:39 pm

    Lawn jockeys, guys.

    Like this.

  60. Comment by clintbird on July 30, 2009 10:41 pm

    OH, now I get it. Silly me.

  61. Comment by mesablue on July 30, 2009 10:41 pm

    That cartoon is great.

  62. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:43 pm

    Who was the dude in the trenchcoat with the kids?

    The babysitter

    not me in white shorts, that was my girlfriend that was with me

  63. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:44 pm

    Saw the guy with the hat laying on the ground — figured it was PJD

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  64. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 10:44 pm

    MCPO, liked the Tull video.

    And it wasn’t the belching and scratching so much as the SBD that melted your chair. They gonna let you back in that restaurant?

  65. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:45 pm

    night sohos, can’t believe you’re leaving me already

  66. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 10:46 pm

    You don’t need sOhOs, PJ.

    You’ve got me.

  67. Comment by Dave in Texas on July 30, 2009 10:46 pm

    Oh, well yeah. He seemed to know them.

  68. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:47 pm

    You’ve got me.

    Someone kill me!

  69. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:47 pm

    Oh, well yeah. He seemed to know them.

    reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal good like

  70. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 10:48 pm

    I can’t kill you tonight, PJ, but I can make it to SD this weekend…

  71. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:50 pm

    sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!! I’ll be waiting for you

    *sharpens knives

    *loads handgun and shotgun

  73. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 10:51 pm

    Romy – Why do you think they made us sit on the patio?!

  74. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 10:51 pm

    PJM- What;s the latest on the move, the chickens and the garden?

  75. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 10:52 pm

    I read that at the White House beer fest today, that Biden had a non-alcoholic beer. I’m trying to imagine him three sheets to the wind.

  76. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 10:55 pm

    Hey, I picked the patio because it was a GORGEOUS day. Days like that in NorAl in July are rare. Thanks for ordering that one special for me.

  77. Comment by wiserbud on July 30, 2009 10:55 pm

    I’m trying to imagine him three sheets to the wind.

    You didn’t watch the debate?

  78. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 10:56 pm

    Biden’s doctors won’t let him drink real booze.

  79. Comment by mesablue on July 30, 2009 10:57 pm

  80. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 10:59 pm

    moving tomorrow darlin!!!!!! was just there today getting the keys and junk. I’m so excited. I’ll take pictures and put them on fb tomorrow

  81. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:00 pm

    Hahaha, mesa! I made the mistake of posing for a caricature once at a sci-fi convention.

  82. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:02 pm

    PJ, you have internet access at the new place?

  83. Comment by Dave in Texas on July 30, 2009 11:02 pm

    Goodnight kids. Have fun storming the castle.

  84. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:03 pm

    Good night Dave.

  85. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:04 pm

    YAY, PJ!!!!

    Mesa – That cracked me up! Good’un!

  86. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:05 pm

    Romy – Have I told you how lovely you look tonight?

  87. Comment by wiserbud on July 30, 2009 11:06 pm

    mesa, that’s an artist who doesn’t want his job anymore.

  88. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 11:08 pm

    PJ, you have internet access at the new place?

    Not yet, I was debating on whether to even get it, then I remembered I pay ALL my bills that way. I think I’ll get it and just hide it from the kids that I have it. I”m not hooking up the TV either.

    mwahahaha hahahaha hahahaha

  89. Comment by wiserbud on July 30, 2009 11:09 pm

    I think I’ll get it and just hide it from the kids that I have it.

    Yeah, and when they see you constantly typing, you can tell them your writing a screenplay.

  90. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:09 pm

    MCPO, thought you might like this shirt on me.

    http://tinyurl.com/m47uxm

  92. Comment by pajama momma on July 30, 2009 11:10 pm

    Yeah, and when they see you constantly typing, you can tell them your writing a screenplay.

    good idea. I’ll steal that line

  93. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:12 pm

    MCPO, thought you might like this shirt on me.

    That’s a mighty big number you’ve got there, ma’am!

  94. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:16 pm

    I like that shirt better off of you.

  95. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:19 pm

    And it’s blue, my favorite color.

  96. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:20 pm

    XBrad, it’s hard to be a stalker all the way across the country.

  97. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:22 pm

    You’re telling me.

    Plus it doesn’t help that the only pics I’ve ever seen of Mr. RFH, he’s holding a weapon.

  98. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:23 pm

    I’m a “touchy-feely” stalker! 😀

  99. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:26 pm

    This is Alabama. He’s a damn Yankee. He’s trying hard to fit in.

  100. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:27 pm

    Oh, that reminds me. XBrad, I did tell you that you owe MCPO money, didn’t I?

  101. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:28 pm

    Heh. I learned a long time ago, if’n you’re gonna chase married women, choose the ones who’s husbands don’t own guns.

  102. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:28 pm

    Or the Chief of Detectives wife. You’ll get caught for sure.

  103. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:28 pm

    I’ll pay MCPO next time I see him. I promise.

  104. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:31 pm

    I’ll pay MCPO next time I see him. I promise.

    HAHAHA! Want me to post a photo??

  105. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:36 pm

    Wish I had brought a camera.

  106. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:39 pm

    Hey, do I look OK in this bow tie??

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN_UqvcynYw

  107. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:42 pm

    I would’ve tried to duplicate the startled look you have in your POL photo.

  108. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:43 pm

    Well I’m heavenly blessed and worldly wise
    I’m a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvIAyxpjEuc

  109. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:46 pm

    HAHAHA! Want me to post a photo??

    If you’ve got pics, I’d love to see them.

  110. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:46 pm

    I don’t even have to click the link to know Timbukthree.

  111. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:46 pm

    Hahahaha, I loved that song when I was in college. I was minoring in nuclear engineering at the time.

  112. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:48 pm

    Xbrad – Very good! *pats brad on his pointy head*

    Romy- It’s a fun song – you gotta like it!

  113. Comment by xbradtc on July 30, 2009 11:49 pm

    My head is not pointy. It’s shaped more like Stewie’s.

  114. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:51 pm

    Though the crazy teacher was the TA for chemistry lab. He was rather proud of the burn holes in his lab coat. I ended up with acid-washed jeans way before they were fashionable.

  116. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 30, 2009 11:53 pm

    I ended up with acid-washed jeans way before they were fashionable.

    HAHAHA! Mine weren’t acid-washed but, I did burn some holes in them.

  117. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:55 pm

    Loved this song from that time, too.
    http://tinyurl.com/lyth98

  118. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 30, 2009 11:57 pm

    Same here, MCPO. I had a sloppy person working next to me, and I made the mistake of leaning against the counter after he had spilled HCl. Burned through the jeans, jeans pocket, underwear, and left a mark. Dammit!

  119. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 12:01 am

    I’ve got to hit the hay. You folks enjoy yourselves – tell Americano I said, “Howdy!”

  120. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:02 am

    Spilled battery acid on me on day one of a 14 day trip to the woods. On my only uniform. I was “swinging in the breeze” for pretty much the rest of the trip.

  121. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:03 am

    Good night, MCPO. Mwah!

  122. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:08 am

    XBrad, ouch!

    Money was tight enough that I found some fabric, embroidered some butterflies on it and sewed it over the acid holes. Told everyone who asked that they were my own designer jeans.

  123. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:11 am

    Romy, when I was in Hawaii, whenever I went to the woods, I wore one uniform. There just wasn’t room in the pack for anything else, except lots and lots of spare socks (but no Sox).

    But I tended to go through a uniform a month. They just don’t last long when you are playing Army full time. It was no big deal, but that was one of the trips I took that I didn’t bring any WonderWoman Underoos.

  124. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:13 am

    XBrad, you’re making me think of the guy with the I Love NY boxers in Afghanistan.

    One of my nephews in Iraq always asks for socks. He must go through a dozen pairs or more a month.

  125. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:22 am

    Heh. Never had the I Love NY boxers.

    And when I was in the desert, getting socks was a real challenge. Right before we left to come home, they gave us all a whole new issue of socks, underwear, and uniforms. And we burned the old stuff. It was pretty nasty. Six months of sweat other bodily excretions had pretty much infested the old unis.

  126. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:25 am

    There’s a discussion of tramp stamps over at the overnight thread at the mothership. Anything you wanna add?

  127. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:26 am

    He’s got big feet (size 15), so I’m sure he has trouble finding ones that fit.

  128. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:27 am

    I had a temporary tramp stamp at a previous family reunion. My MIL was horrified. I thought it was a hoot.

  129. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:31 am

    Heh. You shouldn’t do that to your poor relatives.

  130. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:38 am

    If you had to ride with her in your car for 5.5 hours, you would drink heavily and find ways to get back at her, too.

  131. Comment by PattyAnn on July 31, 2009 12:42 am

    xBrad, check your email…

  132. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:46 am

    gimme a minute, PA

  133. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:48 am

    I’ll think about it, PA.

    I already chose one for today.

  134. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:50 am

    You’re not still touching yourself in the swimsuit area, are you?

  135. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 12:52 am

    Uh. No. Nope.

    **checks house for spy cameras**

  136. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 12:54 am

    Heh heh. Who’s stalking who?

  137. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 1:00 am

    At least they still know “bunk!” over at AoS. I was afraid they’d gone totally pussy.

  138. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 1:09 am

    Isn’t it almost your bedtime?

  139. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 1:12 am

    It is, except my heartrate is crapping out on me. It won’t slow down if I lie there thinking about it.

  140. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 1:16 am

    OK, I’m gonna go ahead and put up your bedtime story.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-a6aPA6eQYM

    **double checks to make sure that’s a ‘splodey video, and not a busty lesbian video**

    Enjoy.

  141. Comment by PattyAnn on July 31, 2009 1:24 am

    xBrad, just trying to help you out 🙂

  142. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 1:26 am

    I appreciate that, Ms. PattyAnn. And I’ve bookmarked it for future use.

  143. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 1:28 am

    Ooh, I like the music with that one. Nice!

  144. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 1:29 am

    Reminds me of this
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25dSxa8-LdQ

  145. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 1:38 am

    You know, I didn’t really choose that one for the music.

  146. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 1:41 am

    Kick ass music enhances the experience. Like the helicopter video with “Thunderstruck”.

  148. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 1:42 am

    Yeah, that vid has been on my favorites list a long time.

  149. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 1:50 am

    Mr. RFH is working on Apaches. Cool stuff.

  150. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 1:52 am

    When I lived at an Apache base, the hot refuel pad was about 25 ft from my window. Fun, but hard to sleep through.

  151. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 1:57 am

    Speaking of sleep, the heartrate is finally under 120, so I think I will toddle off to bed now. Thank you for the video, Xbrad. (smooch) G’night.

  152. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 1:58 am

    G’night.

    Sleep tight.

    Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

    **pats Romy on her forehead**

  153. Comment by Mare on July 31, 2009 3:44 am

    Sweet dreams, xbrad!!

  154. Comment by Mare on July 31, 2009 3:47 am

    Romy, I know you’ve gone to sleep, however, I would like to know, is your heart condition one you’ve mentioned before? Damn it, sometimes I can’t check Hostages. Are you taking meds for a heart condition, something hereditary, stress, still dealing with your sweet mama, or something else?

  155. Comment by xbradtc on July 31, 2009 4:08 am

    Quit trying to wake the poor girl up.

  156. Comment by Sean M. on July 31, 2009 5:05 am

    Damnit, looks like everyone went to bed. Stupid work deadlines, getting in the way of my innertubes fun!

  157. Comment by Pie in on July 31, 2009 6:28 am

    Morning.

    Bandwidth update, it’s a daily thing, and I wasn’t completely out, but close.

    I only get so much per day, and if I go over, I lose it for 24 hours from the moment I reached my limit. Even if I only had an hour or so until the period was over.

    Sucks.

    But, I live in the country where there is no other option.

    HELP ME OBAMA.

  158. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 7:15 am

    “I don’t know why, but Sox just walked up and started licking my leg”

    ‘Cause I had this really sticky, disgusting thing stuck on my tongue……

  159. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 7:20 am

    HELP ME OBAMA.

    After them helpful folks get done, you will be paying twice as much for half the time, get rightfully angry, and cancel the subscription. Then we would be sans Pie-Tease. Not good. Now if we could get Americano to fall for that…..

  160. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 7:23 am

    Damnit, looks like everyone went to bed. Stupid work deadlines, getting in the way of my innertubes fun!

    Like anybody is gonna fall for that…..

  161. Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 8:06 am

    Good morning all. My lovely wife and I stayed up until 1:00 a.m. drinking and playing a game called Bananagrams. It is highly enjoyable, especially if you are competitive, and a great game for just two people. You can vary the rules. And of course, it’s always fun to spell completely inappropriate stuff.

  162. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 8:25 am

    Are you taking meds for a heart condition, something hereditary, stress, still dealing with your sweet mama, or something else?

    I have supraventricular tachycardia with mitral valve prolapse. In human terms, the engine runs fast and needs a valve job. I take two different heart meds that are supposed to keep the beat slow and even, but when I am under a lot of stress (Mom, Mr. RFH’s sister, some of the family being assholes, work, etc.), I get spells where it revs up to 140-150 beats per minute. I’m trying Shim’s B vitamin regimen, which hasn’t really helped my heart but has helped the PMS. (Mr. RFH thanks you.)

    I come here to laugh – y’all are good therapy. Someone on the West Coast is usually up for me to harass.

  163. Comment by Dave in Texas on July 31, 2009 8:29 am

    >> I get spells where it revs up to 140-150 beats per minute.

    Oh goodness, you probably should restrict your time visiting with me then.

    Think of it as a bandwidth constraint for the hearty heart.

  164. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 8:33 am

    Oh, and good morning. Raining again here.

  165. Comment by Dave in Texas on July 31, 2009 8:57 am

    We got about an inch yesterday, first rain in a month.

  166. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 9:08 am

    Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 8:06 am
    Good morning all. My lovely wife and I stayed up until 1:00 a.m. drinking and playing a game called Bananagrams. It is highly enjoyable, especially if you are competitive, and a great game for just two people. You can vary the rules. And of course, it’s always fun to spell completely inappropriate stuff.

    What? No virtual shuffleboard? Bet the old folks over at IB would be poppin’ Nitro pills under the tongue after a heavy session of Bananagrams. Probably the “Boss” too…

  167. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 9:10 am

    Oh goodness, you probably should restrict your time visiting with me then.

    *** Looks skyward ***

    *** Expecting massive Lightening Outbreak around the soverign State of Texas ***

  168. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 9:14 am

    Roamy, vit B is going to lessen stress by bonding to free radicals and removing them. You should be taking a fish oil supp for heart health( I take Omega 3 *1000mg in morn and after dinner).Mega doses of vits are the way to go, whatever your body doesn’t use will be disposed as waste. Do not doubt The Great Shimmster. He is wise.

  169. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 9:20 am

    Do not doubt The Great Shimmster. He is wise.

    *** Pulls up Weatherunderground ***

    *** Expecting massive Lightening Outbreak around the soverign State of Texas South Carolina ***

  170. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 9:20 am

    Do not doubt The Great Shimmster.

    I’d listen to him. He’s pre-med.

  171. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 9:25 am

    I’d listen to him. He’s pre-med.

    I think I’m starting to understand the staggering costs of Malpractice Insurance…….

  172. Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 9:27 am

    I think by pre-med, spud meant pre-medicated.

  173. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 9:28 am

    3 Where my car money at? Obama was supposed to pay for my car!!!

    Posted by: wiserbud at July 31, 2009 09:21 AM (wWwJR)

    At last, the mystery of the ’73 Olds has been solved…..

  174. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 9:30 am

    I thought I was pre Law

  175. Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 9:33 am

    Your wife thought you were premature.

  176. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 9:34 am

    I thought I was pre Law

    Would you make up your mind?

  177. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 9:34 am

    At last, the mystery of the ‘73 Olds has been solved…..

    I been ROBBED! Iffin I coulda gotten that fuckah started, I woulda gotten mah money!

    WHERE’S MY MONEY, OBAMA???

  178. Comment by Dave in Texas on July 31, 2009 9:41 am

    What’s the difference?

  179. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 9:41 am

    Compos, come here little hands
    http://tinyurl.com/mo255r/

  180. Comment by Edward Von Bear on July 31, 2009 9:48 am

    http://www.kansascity.com/450/story/1355426.html howdy! Wanna play Monopoly?

  181. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 9:51 am

    Wanna play Monopoly?

    It said DO NOT PASS GO AND DO NOT COLLECT $200!!! I’M GONNA FUCKING CUT YOU!!!

  182. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 9:56 am

    Shim, what happens if I am allergic to fish? I’ve been leery of trying fish oils because my throat swells shut if I eat fish.

  183. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 9:56 am

    Wanna play Monopoly?

    Well, it was in Michigan…..Hey!!!! where is Mesa?

  184. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:02 am

    Wanna play Monopoly?

    Get out of jail free card plz.

  185. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 10:02 am

    Roamy:
    http://www.drdonnica.com/faqs/00008473.htm

  186. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:03 am

    Shuttle should be landing at 10:48 Eastern at KSC. Deorbit burn is done.

  187. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 10:04 am

    Ms Romy, you might try shrimp oil capsules similar to these. My apologies if the hyper-link winds up cut&paste.

    http://www.lierac.com/UK/products/face/capsules/capsules/arkeskin_capsules.html

    The shrimp oil works for a couple of folks I know that can’t handle the fish oil, plus its supposed to be stronger. You might increase your popularity with the neghiborhood CATZ.

  188. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 10:04 am

    Good morning! I wanna give PJM some shit about her poor webcam performance yesterday. I want my money back.

  189. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:07 am

    Thanks, Shim, glad I asked. One of the worst reactions I ever had was not from eating fish at all but from being seated right next to the kitchen at an all-you-can-eat fried catfish place. Mom loved that place, and at 13, I didn’t have much choice in the matter. All the grease in the air made my eyes swell shut.

  190. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:08 am

    I will try the flax seed oil.

  191. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:10 am

    Might try the shrimp oil, too, as long as my face doesn’t end up looking like the model’s.

  192. Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 10:12 am

    It said DO NOT PASS GO AND DO NOT COLLECT $200!!! I’M GONNA FUCKING CUT YOU!!!

    Hahahaha!

    GIVE ME THE LAST RAILROAD OR I’M GOING TO TAKE THIS OLD BOOT AND STOMP THE GUTS OUT OF YOUR SCOTTIE DOG, BITCH!

  193. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 10:14 am

    SECOND PLACE IN A BEAUTY PAGEANT??? SECOND FUCKING PLACE???? WTF? I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL A BITCH!!!

  194. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 10:15 am

    GIVE ME THE LAST RAILROAD OR I’M GOING TO TAKE THIS OLD BOOT AND STOMP THE GUTS OUT OF YOUR SCOTTIE DOG, BI**H!

    Compos, I TOLD you not to take Anger Management Therapy from Rosetta….

  195. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 10:18 am

    Were they playing Monopoly or Meth-opoly?

  196. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 10:19 am

    Miss Sohos? Would you kindly take the bong away from Wiserbud? I think he has had enough, and its not even 10:15. Thank you.

  197. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 10:20 am

    Does this remind anyone of anyone?

    Sort of NSFW: http://tinyurl.com/lowvqf

  198. Comment by Sox on July 31, 2009 10:20 am

    Drat. Later y’all.

  199. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 10:21 am

    PAY SCHOOL TAX? I AIN’T GOTS NO MUTHAFUCKIN’ KIDS!! WHY DOES I GOTS TO PAY A SCHOOL TAX????

  200. Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 10:21 am

    Your Xmas Fund Matures: Collect $100

    YES!! YEEESSSSSSS!! IN YOUR FACE MOTHERFUCKER!! IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKINGGGGG FACE!!!

  201. Comment by sohos on July 31, 2009 10:22 am

    Pass it Wiserbud!

  202. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 10:22 am

    Also, Roames, increase your usage of many types of nuts during the day, walnuts and pecans are very good for delivering good fats. Always have on hand, so you can snack all day. And when cooking try to use ‘grilling & sautee’ olive oil, it has a much better good/bad fat ratio that others.

  203. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 10:24 am

    She holds her head so high
    Like a statue in the sky
    Her arms are wicked, and her legs are long
    When she moves my brain screams out this song

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF5Z2fRYFSc

  204. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 10:25 am

    Wow, Jizzy, you just decided my dinner choice for tonight. Veal medallions w/ a port reduction sauce, baby carrots and wild couscous. Good fuckin job my man!!!!

  205. Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 10:27 am

    Also, Roames, increase your usage of many types of nuts during the day

    Dude.

  206. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 10:29 am

    Also, Roames, increase your usage of many types of nuts during the day

    Slightly salty??

  207. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 10:31 am

    GO TO JAIL? I DON’T THINK SO, MUTHAFUCKA! I AIN’T DONE SHIT AND MY LAWYER’S GONNA FUCK YOU UP FOR THIS SHIT!

  208. Comment by PattyAnn on July 31, 2009 10:33 am

    Community Chest? I’m not sharing mine.

  209. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:33 am

    Also, Roames, increase your usage of many types of nuts during the day

    Well, then I’m in the right place!

  210. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:34 am

    Good Lord, what are wiserbud and mesa doing in Marvin Gardens???

  211. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:38 am

    There’s a reason why XBrad ended up with BO railroad.

    *fans the air*

  212. Comment by composmentis on July 31, 2009 10:39 am

    Pay poor tax of $15 WTF?? PAY POOR TAX?? I GOT YER POOR TAX RIGHT HERE, BITCHES!! *turns tophat over, stands up and begins pissing all over the board* *hoses off Community Chest cards* HOW YOU LIKE THAT, COMMUNITY CHEST? HUH? GONNA START CALLING YOU CHUCK BERRY CHEST INSTEAD!!

  213. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 10:40 am

    Friday night they’ll be dressed to kill
    Down at Gino’s bar and grill. . .”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ham6vFy8v2I

  214. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 10:41 am

    Compos, there is nothing wrong with a girl stuffing her face with nuts all day.
    http://tinyurl.com/kntvdy/

  215. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:42 am

    Nice one, Chief!

  216. Comment by Shim on July 31, 2009 10:45 am

    Words of wisdom from the sage , Marilyn Manson:
    First, you try to fuck it.
    Then, you try to eat it.

  217. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 10:46 am

    I’ve done the sheets and towels and vacuumed. . . awaiting the Missus’ departure from the pattern so I can MY stuff done!

  218. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 10:47 am

    For baseball fans, a really great fan catch:

    http://tinyurl.com/kme44l

    Didn’t drop the ball or the kid, and the kid didn’t drop his gallon of soda. Neat.

  219. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 10:48 am

    Why the fuck you got to keep pretending it’s a real fucking racecar every time you move?

    IT’S NOT A REAL FUCKING RACECAR, YOU STUPID FUCK!!! JUST FUCKING COUNT THE SPACES LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!!!!

  220. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 10:48 am

    Wow, Jizzy, you just decided my dinner choice for tonight. Veal medallions w/ a port reduction sauce, baby carrots and wild couscous. Good fuckin job my man!!!

    Sounds great, but how the hell do you get veal out of venison? Your mind works in weird ways, dude.

  221. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:50 am

    Shuttle landed safely, yay!!!

  222. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 10:52 am

    Bwahahahahahah! Paul Krugman pisses on himself:

    http://tinyurl.com/mjqlgd

  223. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 10:55 am

    Jazz – Thanks for keeping up! That video is Oh-El-Dee. Been posted on these pages at least 3 times.

  224. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 10:59 am

    Bwahahahahahah! Paul Krugman pisses on himself:

    Not like that’s gonna change his mind at all. He’ll just say that those 7 people were all stupid or planted by the extreme right wing and continue to spout his idiotic opinions, as though nothing ever happened.

    Former Enron accountant Paul Krugman is beyond shame at this point. He continually beclowns himself like this and yet, people still listen to him.

  225. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 10:59 am

    Wiserbud, quit sneaking money out of the bank.

    Are you a RACIST if you don’t buy Oriental Avenue?

  226. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 10:59 am

    Breakdown on the shoreline,
    Can’t move, its an ebb tide.
    Morning don’t get here ’til night,
    Searching for her silver light.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuvOPSycBl4

  227. Comment by Pupster on July 31, 2009 11:00 am

    I can whole-heartedly recommend $4 White Russians at Friday’s Happy Hour.

    I cannot recommend showing up at a meeting for your kids school looking like this:

    http://tinyurl.com/n5afxw

  228. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 11:00 am

    Shuttle landed safely, yay!!!

    Congratulations, Roamie. Nice work.

  229. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 11:01 am

    I cannot recommend showing up at a meeting for your kids school looking like this:

    The Dude abides…..

  230. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 11:03 am

    Shuttle landed safely, yay!

    Yay!!!

    I heard one of the experienced astronauts talking about the military orders they receive for their flights. It was something like, “Report to Johnson Space Center on MO/Day/Year at X00 hours for transport to International Space Station in Low Earth Orbit.” I found it kind of funny the way the orders were worded. It all made sense, but it had the hallmark exactness of lawyers and military-speak.

  231. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 11:07 am

    Thanks for keeping up! That video is Oh-El-Dee. Been posted on these pages at least 3 times.

    If you’re trying to hurt my feeling, it worked. Thanks for making me feel small and insignificant. I’m just trying to fit in, man. Fat people need love too, you know. Why can’t we all just get along? Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony side by side on my piano keyboard. Oh, Lord, why can’t we?

  232. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 11:08 am

    Jazz, at the museum here, there are the TDY orders for Houston -> Kennedy -> Skylab -> Pacific Ocean -> Houston. Per diem not allowed for Skylab.

    I can hardly wait for the next shuttle mission – it will bring back my experiment that has been on ISS for over a year.

  233. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 11:10 am

    Per diem not allowed for Skylab.

    THAT’S BULLSHIT MAN!

    I’ll bet you don’t get “Proceed Time” either?!?

  234. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 11:10 am

    MCPO, something to cheer me up, please. The last video was too sad.

  235. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 11:11 am

    I can hardly wait for the next shuttle mission – it will bring back my experiment that has been on ISS for over a year.

    Let me just stop right here and state, for the record, how absolutely way awesome cool it is that you hang out with us morons and reprobates here, Roamie. Seriously. you have the most coolest job in the world.

  236. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 11:13 am

    Don’t know what “Proceed Time” is, but Skylab was government-provided housing.

  237. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 11:15 am

    Yeah I love my lady….shes long and lean
    You mess with her….you’ll see a man get mean. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU0MF8pwktg

  238. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 11:15 am

    Jazz, at the museum here, there are the TDY orders for Houston -> Kennedy -> Skylab -> Pacific Ocean -> Houston. Per diem not allowed for Skylab.

    That was more like what I was remembering. Still gives me a chuckle! 🙂

  239. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 11:17 am

    Wiserbud, it is amazing that I can pick on you all morning and you still say something really nice about me. Thanks.

  240. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 11:19 am

    Romy – Was that better??

  241. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 11:21 am

    Proceed Time is the number of hours/days given to travel from point A to point B during a TAD (TDY) or PCS.

  242. Comment by roamingfirehydrant on July 31, 2009 11:23 am

    “she’s my sweet little baby, I’m her little lover boy…” 🙂

    And on that note, I’m off for a while.

    **hugs everyone, surreptious butt-pinches for the men**

  243. Comment by MCPO Airdale on July 31, 2009 11:25 am

    If we don’t get a BBF poat soon, I’m going to have to do a SBF!!

    http://tiny.pl/hh5r6

  244. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 11:31 am

    Wiserbud, it is amazing that I can pick on you all morning and you still say something really nice about me.

    Yeah, for a controlling authoritarian who demands unquestioning fealty from my subjects, I can be a pretty nice guy once in a while, huh?

  245. Comment by wiserbud on July 31, 2009 11:37 am

    yike!

    Hey, watch yer hands there, grabby.

  246. Comment by Rosetta on July 31, 2009 11:43 am

    Any woman’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bewbs toll; they toll for thee, motherfuckers.

  247. Comment by Rosetta on July 31, 2009 11:44 am

    If we don’t get a BBF poat soon, I’m going to have to do a SBF!!

    *SLAP*

    PAY ATTENTION OLD MAN!!!

    *SLAP*

  248. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 11:45 am

    Alas, Big Titties, I groped them well.

  249. Comment by Jazz on July 31, 2009 11:45 am

    Go, Chief!


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