Big Boob Friday™

Ohai!  Welcome to Big Boob Friday.  It’s nice to see that you survived the bloodletting this week.  And if anyone’s thinking about not commenting here anymore because of that, rub some dirt on it and jump back into the fold.  It was just a little “family meeting”.

THIS is why I HATE fake boobs.  THIS is why I LOVE Photoshop.  Got it?  Good.

July 4th is coming up so let’s do a preemptive.  If you don’t like this song why don’t you just go ahead and join al Qaeda and move to Afghanistan, America hater.  Is there anything kick ass that’s not in this video?  Kudos to Metallica for giving up the sample to “Sad But True”.  Here’s to a Ted Nugent/Kid Rock ticket in 2012.

We here at the BBF research department were determined to find a new hawt model for you to gawk at today.  FIND NEW HAWT MODEL FOR YOU TO GAWK AT TODAY WIN!!!

I have never seen this cute chickadee before and there is literally zero info on her other than the fact that she’s Polish (in other news, dog bites man) and she’s 23.  What I particularly like about our new friend is that she’s a ginger.  I don’t know that we’ve had a sweet redhead grace this page before and it’s about damn time.

If you want to take bets on how long before mesa dates her and then makes her puke on him, put me down for $20 within the month.  Hopefully she’ll do some more modeling in the future and I can find out more bio stuff on her because I know you idiots care about that.  Until then, please try not to blow a rod as you feast your eyes on our beautiful model for today, Friday, June 26, 2009, Irynka!!  FUCK YOU RONALD MCDONALD!!!!

 

Nice socks.  Seriously.  Big boobs and funky socks go well together.

June 26th must be a lucky day.  I found no famous people that died on this date.  However that may change at the rate we’re going.  In any event, some other shit did happen.  For instance, on this day…

*  in 1819, baseball inventor, Abner Doubleday, was born.  I wonder what boys did before baseball.  Oh yeah.

*  in 1893, Chicago bluesman Big Bill Broonzy was born.  Have you ever been to Kingston Mines in Chicago to see some live blues and get hammered?  Maybe one of these days we’ll do that.

*  in 1900, Dr. Walter Reed began the research that cured Yellow Fever.  I actually didn’t know that until I was doing this post.  I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!!!!

*  in 1909, Elvis’ manager Colonel Tom Parker was born.  One of my favorite Elvis tunes.

*  in 1917, the first American Expeditionary Force arrive in France during WW I.  As a country, France is kind of a douche. 

*  in 1933, Noriyuki “Pat” Morita was born.  Wax off, Danielson.

in 1942, Larry Taylor, one of the members of Canned Heat, was born.  I would have liked to have been a dope-smoking hippie for about a year.  Vmax plays a mean skin flute in this video.  The lead singer is TBoM.

*  in 1945, the U.N. Charter was signed by 50 nations in San Francisco.  That was a fitting location.

*  in 1955, Mick Jones of the Clash and Big Audio Dynamite was born.

*  in 1960, Somalia gained independence from Britain.  I bet it will only take them a few years to become an economic powerhouse now that they’ve shed the shackles of British control!!eleventy!!

*  in 1964, Zeng Jinlian who eventually became the tallest woman at 8’1″ was born.

*  in 1964, the Beatles release “A Hard Day’s Night” album.

*  in 1968, Iwo Jima was returned to Japan by the U.S.  You’re welcome.

*  in 1984, Barbra Streisand recorded “Here We Are at Last” and then ate some oats and a carrot.

*  in 1989, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson marry for the second time.  No one will ever be able to explain that concept to me.

This has been a fun week here.  Lots of people getting pissed off and whining and crying and calling people names and other jackassery.  I for one hope it continues.  Know what I’m saying, Assface McDouchebag?  Just kidding.  Not really.  Fuck you.

I have no plans this weekend other than cooking an excellent meal on Saturday, consuming copious amounts of delicious beverages and staying out of the 150° heat.  Whatever you’re doing, try not to fuck it up.

Have a great weekend, cool kids.  Cheers!

Du Hast?

The video? Meh.

The tag line at the end of the video, kinda funneh.

The music? Well, that’s why we’re posting it.

Song of the Week

This song has something for everyone…

1. Some slide for the old folks

2. Metal for the younger ones

3. Bald dudes punching themselves

4. Rob Halford for the gay ones

5. and a message that sums up every fucker here

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett

Not unexpected but still sad.  Farrah Fawcett died today at the age of 62, succumbing to her battle with cancer.

I’m not sure but I think Ryan O’Neal finally married her just a few days ago.  What took you so long, dummy?  Still that’s sweet that they were married because that’s obviously something she wanted.

Not a lot to talk about.  She always seemed like a sweet person when I saw her interviewed.  Yeah there was the loopy Letterman interview but that was one weird event.  Overall she seemed very nice and in her battle with cancer, very strong.

But it was obviously her beauty that made her a star.  Here are a few photos from around the time she was a cheerleader in college and just starting her modeling career.  She may have been the most beautiful woman in the world around this time.  Stunning.

I believe this was in the days before a lot could be done to give people perfect teeth.  She had perfect teeth.  There is no technology in existence today to recreate this set of choppers.

Old-school do.

It has been scientifically proven that if you didn’t have this picture on your wall as a boy growing up, you turned out gay.  Icon.

This was always one of my favorite pictures.  I mean seriously?  The sun isn’t this hot.

Thank you for sharing your beauty and your grace.  Rest in peace, beautiful woman.

Mrs. Peel Is A Swinger

No, this kind, silly.

States I will not be moving to…

Louisiana.

This video was taken in the Louisiana State House the other day.

I Love Jews

…And The Horse You Rode In On And Fucked

This is where it ends.  The shit storm I mean.  That way maybe tomorrow we can go back to having fun in a nice, family-friendly atmosphere.

You have a beef stick with someone because of something that happened 3 months ago?  Shove it up their ass here.

You see injustice because you didn’t know your real daddy and were raised by a pack of sluts?  Lash out and call me names here.

You don’t like the cut of someone’s jib and just want to tell them how exactly you would like to kill them?  Explain and link pictures here.

No rules other than if you start to cry, just shut the fuck up already you fucking crybaby.

YOU WANT THE PAIN!?!  BRING THE HATE!!

Here forgie forgie forgie….

HHD – Old-Timey Edition

Lets all jump in the way back machine and visit some hunks from the olden times.

Our first hunk and entertainer for the trip:

Dean Martin

Dean Martin

He’ll be singing this during our tour:

Here we go now.

Everybody say hello to Mr. Cary Grant.  Notice the firm jaw line, and dark eyes.  He’s a classic.

cary_grant

This fellow is known not only for his salad dressing, but for not being a metrosexual sissy fucker.  Wave to Paul Newman as we pass by.

paul_newman

Next on our tour is a real class act (and my favorite old-timey hunk), Mr. Gregory Peck.  Such a distinguished looking gentleman *sigh.

gregory-peck03

Say, ‘member this?

Finally, everybody point and laugh at Brewfan, ca. 1976.  What a fucking douche.

sleazy

That is all.  I hope you all enjoyed this trip in the way back machine.  Please mind your step, and remember to tip your guide.

Come take the tour. Now boarding….

Welcome to the Hostages, otherwise known throughout the blogeshpere as the “Get the Fuck Out” blog and asylum.  Priding themselves as coining several phrases all meaning “if you don’t like it, get the fuck out”, they maintain a daily ritual of demeaning and belittling remarks steeped in sarcasm and condescension. You will find yourselves in awe because some residents here are the Billy Mays of the ridiculing industry.

By requirements set forth in contract with MCPO, a song:

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