Reality Check

Nothing to add to this because nothing is needed.

415 Comments

  1. I’ll go ahead and be the first to tear up after watching that.

  2. Shut up.

    Allergies.

  3. Passes Kleenex to rosie and dave.

    Thanks for posting this rosie.

  4. I love videos/music/tributes such as this but I can’t shake the rage that pops up like a spectre when I think about the elitist pricks, who can’t wipe their own asses, or compete on an adult level, do every dirty backhanded thing they can to undermine our best and brightest, and to make their jobs harder.

  5. Pass the box this way.

  6. Pass one to me, too, please, beasn.

  7. Best post evah! Ooh ahh!

  8. Thank you for caring enough to post this, Rosie.

  9. You’re welcome beasn and clint. A friend sent it to me in an email yesterday so I thought I would share.

    The moment I see the soldier without his legs, I immediately know that I’m not worthy of such greatness and sacrifice.

  10. Well done. Remember these are the people on our side!!

  11. Last load in the dryer!!!

  12. MCPO you’re gonna make a good wife to some lucky guy some day.

  13. Last load in the dryer!!!

    I sure hope you know enough to not put your bras in the dryer.

  14. Beasn – Bras go in a pillowcase and are dried on the low/delicate cycle. I’ve been married 25 years so, I’m pretty much on auto-pilot at this time.

  15. GO BREWERS!!11!!

  16. I see you guys woosed out of the 100 days of Obama thread. Quitters.

  17. Folly – The correct slang is, “wussed out”. Taken from the noun, “wussie”.

  18. I see you guys woosed out of the 100 days of Obama thread.

    I’m paying BiW to be funny for me today.

  19. Folly – The correct slang is, “wussed out”. Taken from the noun, “wussie”.

    Muslihoon? Is that you?

  20. Chief, the phrase is, “kiss my ass,” from “kiss my ass.”

  21. Folly – “Lighten up, Francis.”

    Um…that was a joke, MC.

  22. Folly – “Lighten up, Francis.”

  23. That other 100 days of Obama is gay.

    100 days of Obama are gone,
    100 days of The One.
    Take one away, raise taxes today,
    99 days of Obama are gone.

    99 days of Obama are gone,
    99 days of The One.
    Take one away, bankrupt the USA,
    98 days of Obama are gone.

    98 days of Obama are gone,
    98 days of The One.
    Take one away, let the illegals stay,
    97 days of Obama are gone.

    97 days of Obama are gone,
    97 days of The One.
    Take one away, the chairwoman of the Council on Environmental Quality is gay,
    96 days of Obama are gone.

    96 days of Obama are gone,
    96 days of The One.
    Take one away, you crazy veterans will pay,
    95 days of Obama are gone.

    95 days of Obama are gone,
    95 days of The One.
    Take one away, Israel moans “oh vey”,
    94 days of Obama are gone.

    94 days of Obama are gone,
    94 days of The One.
    Take one away, along with your guns he just may,
    93 days of Obama are gone.

    93 days of Obama are gone,
    93 days of The One.
    Take one away, you can call me Ray,
    92 days of Obama are gone.

    92 days of Obama are gone,
    92 days of The One.
    Take one away, apologize to Uruguay,
    91 days of Obama are gone.

    91 days of Obama are gone,
    91 days of The One.
    Take one away, with dictators we play,
    90 days of Obama are gone.

    90 days of Obama are gone,
    90 days of The One.
    Take one away, in His name we pray,
    89 days of Obama are gone.

    *gets bored*

    *plays with shiny penny*

  24. *gets bored*

    *plays with shiny penny*

    *pats Rosetta on the shiny noggin*

    That was very good rosie. Wanna go get a drink?

  25. *pats Rosetta on the shiny noggin*

    *purrrrrrrr*

    That was very good rosie. Wanna go get a drink?

    I’ll pick you up in 30 minutes.

  26. *plays with shiny penny*

    Life savings in the age of Obama?

  27. Life savings in the age of Obama?

    Yep, that’s what I’ve got.

  28. Rosetta, one of your best posts ever!

    20,000 points. (you’ve earned them)

  29. Good Morning, Mare.

  30. I hope phat sees this. We’re thinking of our men and women in uniform.

  31. 20,000 points. (you’ve earned them)

    Yay me!

    Hi Mare.

  32. Good morning MCPO. I’ve been up since 5:00 am and it’s 10:45 now, it’s seems like half my day is over.

  33. Your “100 days of Obama is gey is pretty good.” The ladies this morning were doing something like it on an earlier thread and that was good too.

    The whole subject depresses me and that’s very hard to do. I’m naturally happy. When I was younger people use to call me smiley.

  34. Mare- I made you a little something – enjoy.

    http://tiny.pl/zj44

  35. Chief, you saw where I was just kidding, right?

  36. Thanks, MCPO that’s just what I needed. And it tastes great too.

    Your wife is a very lucky lady. I bet you take good care of her.

  37. it wasn’t a real invitation?

  38. MCPO.

    http://tinyurl.com/6an7bf

  39. Mare.

    http://tinyurl.com/chr8rw

  40. Bart, age 3, eating dinner.

    http://tinyurl.com/cvy3sg

  41. From L to R: MCPO, Rosetta

    http://tinyurl.com/d6tqop

  42. Folly, have you had your bath today?

    http://tinyurl.com/9ubwex

  43. Rosie – Not me. Those socks and shoes are too, too tacky!

    Folly – Sure. Now, make me a sammich, woodja?

  44. All right, who else wants a piece of me?

  45. I got your sammich, MC.

    Rosetta, I told you not to post those pictures of my monkey.

  46. Folly, can I touch your monkey?

  47. Folly, can I touch your monkey?

    You just want spank my monkey, admit it.

  48. That monkey was cute and I hate monkeys.

  49. Anyone seen Tushar lately?

  50. Mare- nope. Neither have I EVER seen him. Just a photograph that he tells us is him.

  51. Comment by Mare on April 29, 2009 5:17 pm
    That monkey was cute and I hate monkeys.

    Comment by Mare on April 29, 2009 5:18 pm
    Anyone seen Tushar lately?

    Are you calling Tushar a monkey?

    RACIST!!!!

  52. This is me taking it easy last night:

  53. This is me taking it easy last night:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Good one, Jayna.

  54. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….I swear I did not mean to associate monkeys and Tushar.

    I was really wondering where he was.

  55. All right, who else wants a piece of me?

    The IRS?

  56. MOM!!!! MARE HATES COLORED PEOPLE!!!!!

  57. Again, racism can be funny.

    I swear that was an accident….hahahahahaha

  58. When I was younger, my nickname was Mouse.

  59. Just a reminder, I moved to a place where I knew I would be a minority. I’m cool with any color. I’m cool with any flavor too. I like chocolate.

  60. Vanilla with sprinkles is good too.

  61. I live in Whiteyville.

  62. Folly, what are your kids doing right now? Burning something in their rooms?

  63. One is down at the pond fishing. The other one is playing his Gameboy DS.

  64. I think Tushar has been particularly funny lately.

  65. “One is down at the pond fishing.”

    That’s cute.

  66. How many people have you killed today, Mare?

  67. Mare, what’s the funniest thing that happened to you today?

  68. beep boop beep beep boop

  69. I C WUT U DID THER BURL

  70. beep click boop oink beep

  71. I went running near the beach I like then got my chair from the trunk and sat and read again. The guy from the other day showed up. He left when I did. No connection. There were no girls to ogle.

    It was so beautiful and pleasant I had absolutely no feelings of anger or rage. Give me a minute, I’m reading an article at Ace’s about Specter and the republican party. My rage is rising.

  72. Burl, what say you?

  73. The funniest thing that happened today happens almost every day. I go to make the bed and Puka runs into the room, jumps on the bed and spreads out on the bed like she knows it’s getting in the way. It always cracks me up.

  74. “Comment by H1N1”

    Explain please.

  75. Have you ever put a sock on Puka’s head?

  76. I want to spend my days reading on the beach.

  77. Folly, I get up at 5:00 make the bed, put a load of laundry in, fold a load from the dryer, empty the dishwasher, make coffee, clean the bathroom counter, make a grocery list give smooches and hugs to my daughter, then leave to take her to school at 6:15. I hop on the Hostages to see what’s happening don’t have time to comment.

    But, yes, reading at the beach is awesome.

  78. “Have you ever put a sock on Puka’s head?”

    No, but I’m willing to try.

  79. ask MC3PO

  80. Mare, I wasn’t implying that’s all you did. I just wish I had a beach to go to so I can read.

  81. Hereeee, Puka heeerrrrr, Puka.

  82. Folly, I know, that’s why I added this:

    “But, yes, reading at the beach is awesome.”

  83. Did you know that the S&P 500 is up 30% since March 9th?

    Thank you Lord Obama.

  84. No, but I’m willing to try.

    It’s fun. And Puka will really like it.

  85. When I mention stuff about going to the beach and doing nothing, I feel kind of bad for the folks here who have to kill themselves to make ends meet. Mesa’s doing two jobs. xbrad, would love to have a job.

  86. “It’s fun. And Puka will really like it.”

    Will you visit me in the hospital?

  87. Did you know that the S&P 500 is up 30% since March 9thhas to look up to see the bottom of its shoes?

    Thank you Lord ObamaZero.

    And Rosetta makes his “Ooohhhhhh” face.

  88. We’re not a touchy crowd, Folly. In fact, I can’t speak for everyone, but I go out of my way to rub people the wrong way and poke nerves. This blog’s purpose is to be a pain in the ass towards others. Just ask pajajajajmamamma, she does it all the time.

    Well, Rosetta is touchy, but that’s a whole other thing, if you know what I mean.

  89. Rosetta, try putting a sock on your wife’s head. It’s fun and she will really like it.

  90. I’m paying BiW to be funny for me today.

    I’m not allowed to work without a retainer. Pay up, cheesehead.

  91. Mare, can I have a job rubbing lotion on you at the beach?

  92. C3PO, plays golf all the time so I’m not the only lay about.

  93. Hi Dingaling. You’d have ask Wiser about Rosetta’s touchiness.

  94. “Mare, can I have a job rubbing lotion on you at the beach?”

    I’m not in a swimsuit, I’m wearing my smelly running stuff. I’m there about an hour or so thinking the world is awesome. Then I get up and cut someone off in traffic.

  95. D-ling, Rosetta’s touchy in the swimsuit area.

  96. Darling, stop rubbing me the wrong way and do it right!

  97. then you chicks will like this song

  98. LEAVE ROSETTA ALONE!!!

  99. I like that song although we like to call it, “Slow Man.”

  100. Darling, that video put me out of the mood.

  101. Even though you all hurt my feeling, here’s a present for you because I like you.

  102. Loved that movie. I was always hoping an Oompa Loompa would punch one of the naughty children.

    DADDY, I WANT THAT! I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!

  103. I’m too lazy to check the hash, but I’ve read the same comment at multiple threads at Ace’s, and it still cracks me the hell up.

    http://minx.cc/?blog=86&post=286637#c4813770

    39 Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    Posted by: Airforce One at April 29, 2009 02:29 PM (+4mlz)

    Which one of you morons is responsible?

  104. The H2 Remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

    Rosetta = Willy Wonka

    Mare = Charlie Bucket

    xbrad = Mike Teevee

    Folly = Veruca Salt

    RFH = Violet Beauregard

    BiW = Augustus Gloob

    mesa = Slugworth

    wiserbud = the candy man

    KKA = the tinker

    pajama momma = oompa loompa

    sohos = Grandpa Joe

    MCPO = Grandpa George

    Burl = Grandma Josephine

    Jewstin = Grandma Georgina

    Tattoo = Ms. Bucket

    PattyAnn = the sweet Scrumdiddlyumptious bar

    Sox = golden ticket

  105. The H2 Remake of Willy Wonka and Chocolate Factory.

    Laughed out loud and scared the cat! hahahahahahahahah

    Mesa = slugworth

    jewstin= grandma Geoergina

  106. PJM = oompa loompa

    HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

  107. “But I want it NOW, Daddy!!”

  108. Rosetta, you have a fertile mind.

  109. Fine! I’m NOT in the movie?

    ……..bite me.

  110. “But I want it NOW, Daddy!!”

    Hahahahaha. You’re perfect for Veruca Salt.

    And I still have a major crush on her.

  111. Hahahahaha. You’re perfect for Veruca Salt.

    And I still have a major crush on her.

    So you’re saying I’m a spoiled little bitch….okay, I can live with that.

  112. Rosetta, you have a fertile mind.

    It’s due to all of the fertilizer.

  113. Darling, your comment at #33, mirrored mine at #10.

  114. Fine! I’m NOT in the movie?

    ……..bite me.

    Excuse me? Tinker?

  115. Rosetta, you have a fertile mind.

    See I’ve killed most of the serious brain cells so the retarded ones have a lot more room to do stuff.

  116. Hey everybody! Who did we elect to watch Obambi’s scripted “press conference” tonight? I think it was Mesablew, wasn’t it?

  117. FInal…report…finished. Must…have…beeee….

    *slumps, exhausted, hand reaching toward fridge*

  118. geoff,

    2 + 2 = beer

  119. Section 5 = 6 pack

  120. “Hey everybody! Who did we elect to watch Obambi’s scripted “press conference” tonight? I think it was Mesablew, wasn’t it?”

    It certainly wasn’t me.

  121. Section 5 = 6 pack

    Hahahaha. You hate section 5.

  122. Not me.

  123. Geoff – Congratulations! Did you sell the movie rights yet?

  124. I made my work gym watch the Glenn Beck 100 days of Obamanation retrospective today while I was on the treadmill. What do I win?

  125. It certainly wasn’t me.

    Not me.

    So, we’re all agreed that Mesa has to watch and give us a report?

  126. So, we’re all agreed that Mesa has to watch and give us a report?

    Motion carried.

  127. Leon, I’m proud of you.

  128. BiW = Augustus Gloob

    Just for that, I’m gonna get skinny again, so you lose any potential jokes.

  129. Madam Secretary – Please inform Mesa that we will need a Thursday post describing this “once a week” event!

  130. Leon, I’m proud of you.

    This puts all my bowling trophies to shame, right here.

  131. When I was younger, my nickname was Mouse

    Mine was.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    wait for it
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    turtle

  132. “turtle”

    hahahahaha

    KILL HER!

  133. Yeah, well mine was….

    Conchshell

  134. “Comment by Rosetta on April 29, 2009 6:22 pm
    Fine! I’m NOT in the movie?
    ……..bite me.
    Excuse me? Tinker?”

    oops….

    *calls optometrist*

    BEING LEFT OUT OF MOVIE FAUX OUTRAGE FAIL!!!!!!1!3!!!!111!!

  135. I’ve got you all beat, mine was ” ‘lil Orville” , or Lil Orv for short.

  136. Ah, the kid puked.

  137. Yeah, well mine was….

    Wildcard. But in college it was “Senator”.

  138. I was Pepe Le Pew

    http://tiny.pl/zjkc

  139. Mr. Pepe Le Airdale, my grand daughter played the best game of golf ever for a 6th grader at her school today.

  140. Boy was she in trouble….

    1. she’s not on the golf team

    2. only the third time she’s ever played golf…

    hahah…one way to NOT make friends

  141. KornKat Annie <— pro at dangling her modifiers

  142. KKA – Give her a big hug. Then slap the crap outta her! Golf is the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done.

  143. Just for that, I’m gonna get skinny again, so you lose any potential jokes.

    Weight had nothing to with it. I cast you as Augustus Gloob because he dies first.

  144. KornKat Annie <— pro at dangling her modifiers danglers

    FIFY.

  145. Rosie check your email I sent you that new pic of the leg.

  146. Unfortunately, Leon, they keep dangling more all the time

  147. Gravity is cruel to us all, KKA.

  148. Sohita -UNFAIR!!

    MOM!!! SOHITA IS PLAYING DOCTOR WITH ROSETTA AND WON’T LET ME PLAY TOO!!!!

  149. Rosie check your email I sent you that new pic of the leg.

    Are you planning on sharing with the class?

  150. speaking of which – serious question .. .anybody know the name of the fluid that stops the decomposition of a specimen and is used to prepare it for microscopic study??

  151. Beasn I might once everything is all said and done. I am not ready yet to share with the class but Count sent Rosetta the very first pictures of it and I promised to send the follow up pictures. Showing it right now is a bit premature and showing the first one makes me feel naked and exposed. I cant quite handle that yet.

  152. Hey! Look what the FedEx man just delivered: http://tiny.pl/zjk5

  153. Formaldehyde?

  154. KKA – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formaldehyde

  155. Sohita – Coke – No punch backs!

  156. I nearly just passes out from that MCPO. I will see yall later.

  157. yea, I had that, but it seemed too obvious. I’ll go with that, thanks.

    SOHOS,,,u ok?

  158. Hey! Look what the FedEx man just delivered:

    ACK!!

  159. anybody know the name of the fluid that stops the decomposition of a specimen and is used to prepare it for microscopic study??

    Vodka.

  160. ooh,,,thanks!!

    Formalin is made by bubbling ______ gas through water.

    answer??? formaldehyde gas?? think that’s right?

  161. HAHAHAHAH…google has a sense of humor,,,

    “Dr. Szostak, who holds a PhD in chemistry and is also a goat owner,”

  162. OHOH…never mind, I found that gas thingie. thanks all

  163. Formalin is a saturated solution of formaldehyde, water, and typically another agent, most commonly methanol.

  164. mesa,,,so what gas is bubbled through it — formaldehyde?

  165. PJM = oompa loompa

    HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

    ahem

  166. c’mon,,,I know you people want the funny, but what’s funnier

    1. watching me gagging through this autopsy?

    2. watching me gag through this autopsy?

  167. ooooh, mesa, I love it when you talk science

  168. You know what? I wish I spent my days reading on the beach. I spend it commenting on the hostages.

  169. “I love it when you talk science”

    it’s the bartender in him. Bartenders know about preserving bodies.

  170. Formaldehyde is a gas.

    Formalin is actually what most people think of as formaldehyde.

    Whoever asked the question left out one of the basic components

  171. Chem major.

  172. Chem major.

    Really? Cool.

  173. “Whoever asked the question left out one of the basic components”

    It’s a fucking game with this instructor. Truth be known, she’s too dumb to know what she’s teaching, so she plays stupid “gotcha games”. I have a notion to write a 200 word answer on how it’s bubbled through the farts of cows therefore making methane gas and that’s destroying out greenhouse roof. Probably get an A for that.

  174. “Chem major”

    Really? Sure could have used that info about 8 weeks ago…….

  175. Mesa makes the best stink bombs ever. . . .and, they’re organic!

  176. My chem knowledge is twenty years out of date. Formalin is ancient and generic enough for me to remember.

  177. It cracks me up to think you’ve gone from mixing chemicals in testtubes to drinks in glasses. Both have either very good, or very bad results!!

    You are NOT just a pretty face. I’m. Shocked. :)

  178. so what’s Formundahyde?

  179. Ok,,I have to go do homework. One. Last. Final. WOOHOO. I shall leave you all with this thought:

    PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

    They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons. (mesa, are you listening? heh…..)

  180. i hate my printer!!!

  181. Phenolphthalein bombs.

    Great practical joke.

  182. “Formundahyde”

    Da cheese too deep in da cracks to find?

    har har har….Hi/bye Darbertenderten

  183. so what’s Formundahyde?

    Sammich spread.

  184. PJM, you’re a peach.

  185. she’s peach buttah!

  186. I’ve heard methylene blue can make for some excellent pranks.

  187. Didn’t the swine flu get the memo that The One is President?

    Stupid pigs.

  188. Leon, so does silver nitrate

  189. HEY EVERYONE!! OBAMA WANTS YOU TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS!!!

  190. 2001 is on Retro. Coolest movie soundtrack, ever.

  191. I like Rosetta’s just under the surface, seething rage of hatred for “the One” and all he stands for.

    (the one big turd)

  192. HEY EVERYONE!! OBAMA WANTS YOU TO WASH SHUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS MOUTHS!!!

    FTFY

  193. Does anyone know where the header photo comes from?

  194. FTFY

    You hit that nail on the head, MCPO.

  195. Does anyone know where the header photo comes from?

    The internet.

  196. Arrrrrgggghhhh!!

  197. I’d like to get my Phenolphthalein tubes tied.

  198. Does anyone know where the header photo comes from?

    I asked earlier too mare.

  199. Howdy, PJM!! Have you drugged, errr. . . fed your brood yet?

  200. That sums it up, Chief.

  201. OK, gotta get ready for church.

    Today’s theological question- Did the Apostle Paul found Christianity?

    Feel free to kick out any Jews who try to answer.

  202. I’d like to get my Phenolphthalein tubes tied.

    No you wouldn’t, clown car.

  203. I’d like to get my Phenolphthalein tubes tied.

    Been there, done that.

  204. Stoaty nails it. . . again!

    http://sweasel.com/archives/3592#comments

  205. Happy birthday, panama banana.

  206. Been there, done that.

    Pictures?

  207. Have a good time, Xbrad.

  208. Howdy, PJM!! Have you drugged, errr. . . fed your brood yet?

    Why? You cooking sumpin?

  209. The Missus made a wonderful chorizo, potato and egg fritada. It was a Jamie Oliver recipe.

  210. Happy birthday, panama banana.

    Is that pronounced pa nuh muh buh na nuh or is it puh nah muh buh nah nuh?

  211. where’s me chloroform when I need it?

  212. Today’s theological question- Did the Apostle Paul found Christianity?

    I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say Christ did that. Paul was his best sales rep, though.

  213. where’s me chloroform when I need it?

    Why Bart, I didn’t know you were Irish?

  214. Why Bart, I didn’t know you were Irish?

    BIGOT!!!! IRISHIST!!!!!!

  215. Is that pronounced pa nuh muh buh na nuh or is it puh nah muh buh nah nuh?

    I’m dying

  216. I’m dying

    Can I have your stuff?

  217. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME LUCKY CHARMS YOU LOUSY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

    *pays lauraw $5*

  218. Heywood Jublomi

  219. Medic!!

  220. TRIX ARE FOR KIDS YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

  221. I’M LOSING MY FUCKING SHIT OVER THESE FUCKING COCO PUFFS YOU COCKSUCKER!!!!

  222. SNAP!! CRACKLE!!! POP A CAP IN YOUR ASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

  223. Well, Rosetta, I guess we’ll just have to re-create the Worst Names for Kids Cereals thread… beginning….. NOW.

  224. I’m dying

    You do, of course, realize that PJM did that by mistake, right?

    No way in hell she actually made such a brilliantly subtle joke intentionally.

    Ooops, gotta go. Checkerboard is all set for the next game. So far, I’m ahead.

  225. PJM – Make me a sammich. Make it this one; http://tiny.pl/zj2h

  226. *aims blowgun with tranquilizer dart at Rosetta*

    *accidentally inhales dart*

    *THUMP*

  227. Can I have your stuff?

    Hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!!!

    Funniest thing I’ve read all day.

    + 2,500 points

  228. MOM THIS GIANT SHREDDED WHEAT BISCUIT TASTES LIKE FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!

  229. Are you home, Richard?

  230. That sammich is perfect for a Hostages meet up at Rosetta’s place. It would be the appetizer before the smoked brisket and Boston Butt.

  231. Today’s theological question- Did the Apostle Paul found Christianity?

    I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say Christ did that. Paul was his best sales rep, though.

    Oh good answer! Good answer!

    *claps for bart like we’re on family feud

  232. LEGGO MY FUCKING EGGO ALREADY!

  233. No way in hell she actually made such a brilliantly subtle joke intentionally.

    Wait, why was my joke subtly funny? What did I miss?

  234. HEY EVERYONE! GET YOUR HOODED PONCHOS ON SO YOU DON’T GET HIT WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS JIZZ WHEN THE PRESS CONFERENCE IS OVER!

  235. freaking driveby bastard

  236. I gotta figure out how to get this page to update faster, dammit.

  237. Are you home, Richard?

    Get home on Sunday.

    Wait, why was my joke subtly funny? What did I miss?

    told ya.

  238. HEY EVERYONE! GET YOUR HOODED PONCHOS ON SO YOU DON’T GET HIT WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS JIZZ WHEN THE PRESS CONFERENCE IS OVER!

    It’s like a Gallagher show except you keep getting angrier rather than laughing.

  239. GRAPE NUTS!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT????

  240. Hey, some jug-eared dumb-ass stole Jeopardy!

    Heads are gonna roll!

  241. Now he’s just flat-out lying!

  242. LEGGO MY FUCKING EGGO ALREADY!

    Hahahahahaha.

  243. I’m either watching American Idol or a Netflix movie. No way am I watching Teh One any more today.

  244. Hahahahahaha. Look at Helen Thomas. GOBLIN!!!!

  245. Goblins are better looking than Helen. She is a fucking Orc.

  246. Honey would you like another bowl of Mueslix?

    *gunfire*

  247. I am sooooooo glad I am not at home watching that lying fucker tell us how we are gonna enjoy the ass-raping he has planned for us.

  248. Do you have a pet monkey yet, wiserbud?

  249. Who’s breakfast table is this?
    http://tinyurl.com/dgvroo

  250. Goblins are better looking than Helen. She is a fucking Orc.

    Hahahaha. Orc.

  251. Make that “whose”. Someone bring me a beer so I have an excuse for typos!

  252. Who’s breakfast table is this?
    http://tinyurl.com/dgvroo

    Hahaha. I love that cartoon.

    FROSTED FLAKES, BITCH?!?!?! THEY ARE MOTHERFUCKING GREEEEEEEEEEAT!!!!

  253. Do you have a pet monkey yet, wiserbud?

    TOUCH MY MONKEY! TOUCH IT!!

    (fucking youtube doesn’t have any Mike Myers “dieter” clips.

  254. I’M AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN, BITCHES!!!!!!

  255. Romy – Here is a Yuengling Dark Porter – enjoy!

  256. MCPO, thank you, sweetie. (smooch)

  257. Did you know that if you toss a monkey a cigarette, they will attempt to eat it?

    stupid monkeys

  258. youTube doesn’t have any good SNL clips.

    Stupid fuckers.

    Olbermann is now interviewing Axelrod for his thoughts on the conference.

    Hahahahahahaha.

    Olbermann: Please let me know if me taking your dick in my mouth makes you uncomfortable.

    Axelrod: Hey, you paid me money to suck it. Knock yourself out.

  259. I wonder if you set a monkey on fire if they know to stop, drop and roll.

    EVOLUTION FAIL!!!!!

  260. You know who I really like? Monica Crowley.

    She’s one of my favorite conservative chickadees.

  261. I wonder if you set a monkey on fire if they know to stop, drop and roll.

    I’ll get back to you on that.

  262. Wiser – Enjoying your time in paradise or have you found at least 3 things to bitch about?

  263. Oh good answer! Good answer!

    *claps for bart like we’re on family feud

    Identifying the theologian FAIL!

  264. In addition to being a smarty pants and exceptionally well-spoken, Monica is an unusual but excellent combination of cute and hot.

    There are definite cutes and definites hots but she’s an unusual mix.

    Daddy likee.

  265. Monica never fails to make me wish I could somehow get in a position to take on her surname.

  266. NEWSFLASH:

    SON BLUDGEONS MOTHER TO DEATH WITH ROLLOVER MINUTES, SAYS TIRED OF THE BITCHING

  267. Thanks Rosie,

    That was cool.

    I knew Trace was awesome. He kicked ass on the celeb apprentice. Shame he had to queer it up by adding the Hudson High Boys Choir. I’d almost rather see MCPO’s crew of butt pirates try and keep the tune.

    I was talking to a bud of mine the other day that flew a bunch of ‘talent’ on the last USO tour of Afghanistan/Iraq. He said they were insanely cool. Kid Rock, Toby Keith, Jesse James (the mechanic)–he said they were all awesome.

    He asked Kid Rock about Pam Anderson–the answer. ‘Dude, she’s just a chick, no crazier than the rest-=and no less’.

    I kinda liked the nod to the confederacy in the song. I’ll have to download it.

    How come it’s only the country artists that seem to support the troops? Is it a Southern thing?

  268. Wiser – Enjoying your time in paradise or have you found at least 3 things to bitch about?

    1) The fucking mosquitos are out of control.

    2) No one here knows how to make a decent vodka martini

    3) It only rains at night.

    Oh, wait…. #3 is a good thing.

    Sorry, guess I only have 2 things to bitch about…

    WAIT!! WAIT!! I KNOW A THIRD ONE!!

    3) Lauraw isn’t here with us.

  269. SON BLUDGEONS MOTHER TO DEATH WITH ROLLOVER MINUTES, SAYS TIRED OF THE BITCHING

    Justifiable.

  270. Wiser – Very good, my padawan. Let the hate flow through you. . .

  271. NEWSFLASH:

    SON BLUDGEONS MOTHER TO DEATH WITH ROLLOVER MINUTES, SAYS TIRED THE BITCHING

    Hahahahahahahaha! I hate that harpy. Good one, O’Donnell.

  272. What a smug bastard.

  273. Answer the fucking question.

  274. NEWSFLASH:
    AFLAC DUCK TASTY WITH ORANGE SAUCE, SAYS KILLER

  275. Phat – See? Being a cargo-kicker isn’t all bad.

  276. phat,
    Was I drunk or when you checked in here this weekend did you say you were chasing pirates?

    If I was not drunk, what can you tell us?

  277. If Trace Adkins wasn’t already married, I’d have his babies. But only ‘cuz he’s rich enough to afford a nanny.

  278. NEWSFLASH:

    Scientist discover that tobacco is harmless. Cigarette filters the true cause of cancer.

  279. NEWSFLASH:
    AFLAC DUCK TASTY WITH ORANGE SAUCE, SAYS KILLER

    Hahahahahaha.

    You have good funney, RFH.

  280. NEWSFLASH:
    Scientists discover mouse abuse causes cancer.

  281. Does this idiot ever stop campaigning?

  282. NEWSFLASH:

    GEICO GEKKO FOUND DISMEMBERED AND BURNED, NO INVESTIGATION PLANNED

  283. Scientists discover mouse abuse causes cancer.

    Oooo, not good news for wiserbud.

  284. NEWSFLASH

    Patchouli oil and paper mache found to be primary causes for Global Warming

  285. Scientists discover mouse abuse causes cancer.

    Oooo, not good news for wiserbud.

    Define “abuse”

  286. Dennis Miller Rocks!

  287. Oooo, not good news for wiserbud.

    I’m sure you could donate him a liver
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *

    …nevermind, I forgot who I was talking to.

  288. Rosetta, I’m trying to come up with a good one for the Wagner Powerpainter. I like watching Braves baseball but nearly went postal with all the freaking commercials starting “Hey, is that what I think it is?!”

  289. Hahahahahahahaha! I hate that harpy. Good one, O’Donnell.

    You. Mother. Fucker. THIS. SHALL. NOT. STAND!!!

    *breaks femur, stabs Cassidy with leg bone*

  290. Vmax,

    It was a couple of weekends ago and yes, you were drunk.

    We airdropped the SEALs that took out the pirates.

    I was in the TACC (Tanker/Airlift Control Center) acting as the C2 for the mission.

    I went home that night and told the wife, ‘This will all be over in the am’.

  291. Now that MCPO has retired, the Navy can achieve greatness.

  292. Dennis Miller just made a great crack about Helen Thomas.

  293. Dennis Miller Rocks!

    You are correct sir. I would pay big bucks no whammies to see him in an unmoderated hour-long debate with Olbermann.

    I think Miller would make Olbermann bleed from the poon within 30 minutes.

  294. Some of those commenters at Ace’s STILL crack me up once in a while. Check out this gem from some loser over there:

    “Dennis Miller on Helen Thomas: The more I see her, the more I think she’s Janet Napolitano before you add water.”

    I ’bout peed…no, wait,,,mebbe I did.

  295. I can’t see the video above, can someone give me a linkylink or something please ?

  296. Thanks Rosie

    No, thank you phatman.

    How come it’s only the country artists that seem to support the troops? Is it a Southern thing?

    I think more of an midwestern thing. Country isn’t popular on the coasts which is why nearly all of the artistis come from flyover country and because of that, they tend to know what matters and not be dumbfucks.

  297. I would make Rosetta surrender his sex with underage Thai trannies for a month to see Olberdouche call Dennis Miller a ‘teabagger’ to his face.

  298. I would make Rosetta surrender his sex with underage Thai trannies for a month to see Olberdouche call Dennis Miller a ‘teabagger’ to his face.

    He’s not on TV at the moment, but I’d go two months to see him say it to Dick Cheney. Ditto for Liz Cheney.

  299. NEWSFLASH:

    EVIDENCE OF NEANDERTHAL MAN-LESBIANS DISCOVERED IN KEY WEST BASEMENT. FIND INCLUDES RUBBER FIST-SHAPED OBJECTS AND EMPTY NAIR CANS.

  300. * takes tin cup off the shelf and passes it around*

    *checks into better Internet connection for TG*

  301. Olbermann has a veil of brilliance that covers up a fat girl insecurity and I’m 100% certain that Miller would mock him until that veil burst into flames.

    Man I would love to see that.

  302. Nice phat

  303. True,

    Gretchen Wilson is from a real small town close to me.

    I defy anyone to grow up in Pocahontas, IL and be a diva.

    She may be now, but definitely not then.

    Heck, I’m planning a deer hunting trip with my brother in law (from Teutopolis, IL) and I’m kind of dreading it. I’m from a real small town in Texas, but he is the DEFINITION of Hoosier/Redneck. Should be fun. I doubt I’ll even take my weapon.

  304. Using the words “Olbermann” and “brilliance” in the same sentence is an affront to those of us who are actually intelligent.

  305. Plus, the communists in Illinois will not allow me to hunt with my new Marlin 336.

    Can I shoot the deer with it and then enlarge the entry wound to make it plausible?

    A Question I will ask of the hoosier relatives.

    I’ve got the new mini-14 and the 336, so I’m going out to shoot the new guns more than anything else.

  306. Olbermann has a veil of brilliance that covers up a fat girl insecurity

    The one he got at Cornell, or was it issued to him when he went to work at Mission:Suck National Barry Channel

  307. Thank you for what you do, phat.

    And thanks to MCPO, xBrad, and any other vets out there.

  308. Thanks Annie, that’s appreciated but I see alll the others that have been posted both here and in prior comments. It’s just this one that isn’t showing for some reason, I just see a blue square.

  309. Biw….”National” was changed to “nuanced” last week. Dint you get hte memeo

  310. Using the words “Olbermann” and “brilliance” in the same sentence is an affront to those of us you who are actually intelligent.

    There you go.

  311. If Trace Adkins wasn’t already married, I’d have his babies. But only ‘cuz he’s rich enough to afford a nanny.

    Silly Tat, it really is different when they are your own. You would be a great mother.
    Never say never.

    And if I weren’t married, I would have his babies. LOVE that deep voice!

  312. TG…adblock does that. . U gots that?

  313. ditto to what rfh said.

    And may I add those currently serving, even if they are serving under an administration that despises them and works towards their failure on a daily basis.

  314. There you go.

    Nice of you to step up to the plate and admit your failings so publicly, doofus.

  315. “If Trace Adkins wasn’t already married, I’d have his babies”

    If i could do that strikethrough thingie, I would strikethrough “I’d have his babies” and put “I’d screw his brains out”.

    Then I would say

    FTFM

  316. Hi Rosetta. Did you forget anyone besides Annie? Hmmmmm…

  317. “Patchouli oil and paper mache found to be primary causes for Global Warming”

    HAHAHAHAHA Good one, wiser. Drinking in warm climates makes you even funnier.

  318. nope KKA, no adblock here

  319. annie, this is how you do a strike thru. before the word you want to strike out put a less than sign, it’s above the comma, then put the word “strike” in, cept w/out the quotes like I have it, then after the word strike, put the greater than sign, the one above the period.

    then, at the end of the word or sentence you want to strike thru do another less than sign but this time, put a “/” symbol………again, w/out the quotes, write the word strike and then put a greater than sign (the one above the period) and viola, you can deny your undying love for rosetta with a strikethru

  320. Drinking in warm climates makes you even funnier.

    …like that’s even possible.

  321. and viola {not cello?}, you can denyPROCLAIM! your undying love for rosetta with a strikethru

  322. “annie, this is how you do a strike thru. before the word you want to strike out put a less than sign, it’s above the comma, then put the word “strike” in, cept w/out the quotes like I have it, then after the word strike, put the greater than sign, the one above the period.
    then, at the end of the word or sentence you want to strike thru do another less than sign but this time, put a “/” symbol………again, w/out the quotes, write the word strike and then put a greater than sign (the one above the period) and viola, you can deny your undying love for rosetta with a strikethru”

    Curing cancer seems easier.

  323. panorama, why don’t you just link to a page with the html codes and instructions?

  324. and viola {not cello?}, you can denyPROCLAIM! your undying love for rosetta with a strikethru

    I hate it when I do that. voila

  325. …like that’s even possible.

    Well, adding something to nothing is generally an improvment…unless we’re talking about a spending bill in Congress.

  326. “you can deny your undying love for rosetta</ pj with a strikethru”

  327. NEWSFLASH:

    Due to Swine Flu Outbreak, Kermit the Frog refusing to Pork Miss Piggy. Relationship reported to be rocky since Porkulus entered lexicon. Now back to our foreign correspondent in Saint Kitts.

  328. BDingdong–she can just go here. Easier.
    http://freetextbox.com/demos/allfeatures.aspx

  329. panorama, why don’t you just link to a page with the html codes and instructions?

    because then we would miss out on all the delicous low hanging fruit. Isn’t it Ernie’s turn to do you tonight?

  330. see, I suck at it

  331. phat is Illinois a shotgun state?
    A long time ago I had a marlin lever gun in 444 Marlin Mag. I also had a bang stick made that shot the 444. I used the bang stick more than the rifle, but I do live on the water.

  332. Well, adding something to nothing is generally an improvment

    And we’re all about “improvments” here at the Hostages.

  333. Curing cancer seems easier.

    just try it mare, you’ll see

    very close kka, but I think you forgot to put the greater side in at the end

  334. eggzactly, PrettyAnn

  335. Using the words “Olbermann” and “brilliance” in the same sentence is an affront to those of us who are actually intelligent.

    If “those of us who are actually intelligent” includes wiserbud, henceforth I’d like to be known as a retard.

    Thank you.

    Michael the Retard

  336. panorama, why don’t you just link to a page with the html codes and instructions?

    Because she learned mo better from my explanation didn’t she? kinda sorta

  337. And we’re all about “improvments” here at the Hostages.

    Anything you’d like me to tell your wife, Richard?

  338. “And we’re all about “improvments” here at the Hostages.”

    I’ve gone from 0 to 1 and I’m pretty amped to hit a 2 in a year or so.

  339. Wiser,
    Have you been fishing?You are in St Kitts?
    I think that is Bonefish City

  340. see, I suck at it

  341. Is there anyone else here still serving?

    Not that it really matters, but I’ve seen a distinct shift in my attitude now that retirement is in sight.

    It’s not a shift towards safety that you would expect.

    I find myself voluntering for for dangerous deployments because I know it’s my last hurrah. A need to get the adreniline pumping one last time. I’m seriously thinking about deploying to Baghdad to be the CC of the unit there.

    My wife doesn’t understand, but I wonder what we’ll do when I’m a retiree.

    I really need a dangerous hobby.

  342. henceforth I’d like to be known as a retard. – Michael

    henceforth?

    Anything you’d like me to tell your wife, Richard?

    uh oh. She didn’t call looking for me, did she?

    DAMMIT!

  343. so, THAT’s where I got that “FreetextBox” in my favs…..

  344. “eggzactly, PrettyAnn”

    See that xBrad? That’s why Bart is my favorite.

  345. see, I suck at it

    Now you just have to remember to actually substitute a word for the word you’re striking thru

  346. Wiser,
    Have you been fishing?You are in St Kitts?

    I ……DESPISE…… fishing.

    dull, boring, monotonous….

    kinda like IB, but with boats and beer.

  347. Hostages are /srike

  348. Is there anyone else here still serving?

    So far today I’ve served breakfast, lunch and dinner and in a little bit, I’m gonna give some marching orders.

  349. ok, pj,,,I’m a slow-learning grasshopper.

  350. I was at IB HQ. They are all about the water and the beer.

  351. This sucks and I will kill you all.

  352. Comment by Michael on April 29, 2009 10:14 pm

    Using the words “Olbermann” and “brilliance” in the same sentence is an affront to those of us who are actually intelligent.

    If “those of us who are actually intelligent” includes wiserbud, henceforth I’d like to be known as a retard.

    Thank you.

    Michael the Retard

    Being a known associate of DinT, the Cat Hater, we figured that out for ourselves.

  353. Phat do you every fly PJ’s?

  354. ok, pj,,,I’m a slow-learning grasshopper.

    *gives kka a shoulder massage

    NO! You’re doing great!! You can do this! I have faith in you!!

    Now go out there and show them whazzup!!

  355. Hostages are /srike

    HAHAHAHA!

  356. Mare, have you been drinking? alot?

  357. Good night bitches!

    Some of us have to work tomorrow.
    MARE!!!!!!!!!!!

  358. Phat, seriously, have you flown para jumpers?

  359. Mare,

    Yes,

    -phat

  360. Fishing is like going drinking with your buds, till something interrupts you by trying to rip the rod out of your hand! Then it is 5-10 min of pandemonium followed by shouts of BEER! Hopefully to be repeated again right after finishing that beer.

  361. I haven’t had anything to drink….yet.

  362. Mare, have you been drinking? alot?

    HAHAHA!

  363. Thank you, have sweet dreams, Phat.

  364. I was at IB HQ.

    I bet you’re still wondering what happened after you passed out.

  365. okay, I’m outa here. checkers-time.

  366. “checkers-time.”

    King Me!

  367. So glad I miss His Royal Slyness.

  368. Hi Sox!

  369. Hey Vmax. Got another dog yet?

  370. Hi TG, Vmax, uh…phat….wiserbastard, mare, pj, romy, and whoever else.

  371. Hi sox

  372. King Me!

    *Michael thinks about slapping his checker down HARD on Mare*

  373. I didn’t even see Sox sneak in! Hey ya!!f

  374. Is that a freakin’ sloth as the header picture?

  375. No, Folly, that’s my oldest sister.

  376. No, Folly, that’s my oldest sister.

    Oh…I thought it was my ex.

  377. Hey y’all!

    Michael, I don’t think Rosetta will like that….

    I’m sure Ms Mare won’t…

  378. Hi Folly
    What are you doing?

  379. Rap Chop:

  380. Comment by Folly on April 29, 2009 10:29 pm

    Is that a freakin’ sloth as the header picture?

    Thought it was Ace…..

  381. “I’m sure Ms Mare won’t…”

    I thought it was funny and I JUST THIS SECOND watched that video at IB, Michael.

  382. Hi Folly
    What are you doing?

    Finishing up some classwork for a research methods class.

  383. Sox, you’re sweet…BUT GET OFF THE GOOD COUCH!!!!!!

  384. Honey, I’m home! Where is my vodka martini??

  385. **** Flees in Abject Terror from being Chased by Dyson Vacuum. ****

    What is it with you women and them Evil Things anyway?

    (Internet now too slow to see Michael’s video.)

  386. Night ya’ll

  387. Chief, I think wiserbud is in St Kitts……

  388. Night, KKA.

  389. Hi Rosetta. Did you forget anyone besides Annie? Hmmmmm…

    WHA??? You better check again sweet momma.

  390. Sox – Glad you are back but, I could do without the furball behind my favorite chair. And, FORCHRISTSSAKE, would you STOP unrolling the toilet paper?!?!!!

  391. I forgot, how many olives do you want?

  392. Mare- just two, thankyouverymuch!

  393. Evening Folly.

  394. Good night, KKA!

  395. Is Michael still here? I feel the need to punch a tranny in the dickpoon.

  396. “Is Michael still here? I feel the need to punch a tranny in the dickpoon.”

    *sing like they do on Lion King

    Can you feel the love tonight?

    I think I need to start drinking

  397. Chief, that furball is a sleeping possum. Toilet Paper Rawks! Try it sometime! Kind of like Golf.

  398. nite Annbie

  399. Good to see you back, Sox.

  400. MARE!!!

    *tackles Mare*

    *administers double wet willies*

    *snaps bra strap*

    *does moderate wedgie*

    *ties shoelaces together*

    *call and cancels all her utilities*

    *orders 18 pizzas to be delivered*

    *runs away*

  401. Sox, what say you?

  402. Comment by Mare on April 29, 2009 10:51 pm

    Good to see you back, Sox.

    It will sound more sincere if you will unplug the Vacuum Cleaner…..

    (Thank you, Ms Mare, Chief.)

    Out for the night.

  403. New thread up, retards (and cats)

  404. Hey Rosetta! Gonna pursue sone ZZZZzzzz’s….

    Hope I don’t snore and keep y’all awake….

  405. Is Michael still here? I feel the need to punch a tranny in the dickpoon.

    Rosetta, I’m sorry to say this, but you just can’t take a good cock-slapping. You bruise too easily and look hideous afterward when I want to cuddle. So stop hitting on me.

  406. MARE!!!
    *tackles Mare*
    *administers double wet willies*
    *snaps bra strap*
    *does moderate wedgie*
    *ties shoelaces together*
    *call and cancels all her utilities*
    *orders 18 pizzas to be delivered*
    *runs away*

    Mare chases Rosetta, catches him (naturally) grabs his arm, twists it up against his back until he cries “UNCLE” Hands him a tissue to wipe the tears.

  407. Sweet dreams, sox

  408. I think someone has a crush on mare.

  409. and it’s me!!

    ME! ME! OH ME!!! OVER HERE!! PICK ME!!!!!!!!!

  410. Hey, when you necrophiliacs are done humping this thread, Rascal boy has a new post up.

  411. PJM you and me are going to burn down a town. How about it?

  412. Rosetta, I’m sorry to say this, but you just can’t take a good cock-slapping. You bruise too easily and look hideous afterward when I want to cuddle. So stop hitting on me.

    MOM!!!! MICHAEL IS TOUCHING HIMSELF IN THE SWIMSUIT AREA AGAIN!!!! AND HIS SWIMSUIT AREA IS EXCEEDINGLY SMALL!!!!!

  413. PJM you and me are going to burn down a town. How about it?

    Lakeside’s goin down


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