Tuesday Tripe

We needed a new post since that last one was starting to smell like an unshowered BiW at the end of a week long gay porn convention.

Sox sent me a couple of teh funneh the other day so if you think these suck, yell at the cat.

 

Courtney Love?

 

Dog philosophy.

 

It’s been raining here the last two days which I like.  And it kinda puts you in this mood.

 

Going down?

Muoy Importante Updata!!!!!

Angus realized that his cat “Fluffy” was broken, so he decided to give him one last toss for old times’ sake.

360 Comments

  1. ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES!!!!

  2. Heh.

    First, bitches

  3. eddiebear, you lose.

  4. Fuck!

  5. http://www.thelocal.se/19120.html

    I told you robots were deadly

  6. Ah, the creepy lustful work of Art Fromm. Good choice man-lesbo. Common characteristics include a woman whose arms are otherwise occupied, an embarrasing gust or some other bizzarre wardrobe malfunction which always included a catastrophic and sudden failure of elastic in panties, and a leering onlooker named “Dave”.

    Lileks did a pretty amusing deal on those and I swiped all of his jokes except the “Dave” part. GO READ.

  7. *tiptoes into thread*

    *sits down next to Dave*

    (whispers) did I miss anything good?

  8. First!

    Aw, crap.

  9. Here toots, have some coffee. I don’t think ya did, but I have a funny feelin today’s gonna get weird.

  10. What’s the deal with the picture?

  11. *tiptoes into thread*

    *sits down next to Dave*

    (whispers) did I miss anything good?

    You. You there in the back. Fat woman. Yes you that just sat down. Please see me after class.

  12. Eddie, it’s like Christmas every day at The Hostages.
    Or April Fool’s Day. I forget.

  13. harrison’s eye makes me want to hide in a dark room.

  14. *looks down at thighs and bursts into tears*

  15. “Fat woman.”

  16. *looks down at thighs from Kentucky Fried Chicken and bursts into tears*

    There you go.

  17. Fat woman. Yes you that just sat down.

    *Grabs Rosie’s ear and pinches, hard*

    You, young man, need to see me in the kitchen, right now! That is not the way we talk to people!

  18. Hi PattyAnn!!!!

    When I talk to you, you’ll know it.

  19. Rosetta, that was about as low a blow as a blower is able to do and may the rest of your day be grounded in deep-seated guilt.

  20. First?

    *hic

  21. Is PA defending me?? And TI too!
    AWWWWW

    S’ok, ladies, really. Rosetta did not hurt me, I promise.

  22. HA HA, Rosetta got schooled.

  23. And TI too!
    AWWWWW

    It’s a bit of self-preservation, Laura. If he talks to me like that I’m going to have to cry, and then kill him for making me cry.

  24. harrison’s eye makes me want to hide in a dark room.

  25. Just remember, lauraw, Rosie likes ’em on the heftier side of obese (see: Kerry Marie).

    So when he calls you “fat,” it means he likes you.

  26. I want to stab that eye with a pencil.

  27. HAH! Good point wiser.

    How you two doing? Drunk yet this morning?

  28. So when he calls you “fat,” it means he likes you.

    I’m still not seeing the up side.

  29. Is it Christmas already? I haven’t even been shopping yet.

  30. How you two doing? Drunk yet this morning?

    We’re having a wonderful time. (Mrs. wiser says “Hi!”)

    We’re not drunk yet, having just started the day by sleeping off last night’s debauchery. But we’re about to hit the beach bars and I’m sure we will leaving our current state of sobriety behind us very soon.

  31. Hi Mrs. Wiser!

    Yeah, you gotta shake that sobriety off like a dog shakes water. Nasty stuff.

  32. Ooops, my mistake. We haven’t even hit the beach yet and I’m already hitting the coconut rum.

    Hmmm, I wonder……..

    ‘scuse me, I need to talk to the bride about an idea I just had…..

  33. Work is the curse of the drinking class.

  34. Rosetta, that was about as low a blow as a blower is able to do and may the rest of your day be grounded in deep-seated guilt.

    No way, PA. I was only being rude and mean to make a funny.

    It’s a bit of self-preservation, Laura. If he talks to me like that I’m going to have to cry, and then kill him for making me cry.

    And I’m not making anyone cry, Tattoo. I would never do that.

    *assumes all women on this thread are menstruating*

    *runs away*

  35. I want to stab that eye with a pencil.

    That’s mighty violent of you.

  36. .

  37. Here’s another.

  38. Wow, Rosetta. So far this morning, your funneh hasn’t risen above “Admitting ward in a Mexico City Hospital” level.

  39. I think wiser wants to play a game of checkers.

    Coconut rum, tropical paradise, unlimited access to spouse…yup.
    All signs lead to a rousing game o’ checkers!

  40. That guy is just goofy for checkers, I’ve heard

  41. >> assumes all women ok this blog are menstruating

    Not according to my color coded calendar.

    Maybe Harrison.

  42. I ain’t the PMS’s one, Dave.

  43. GEOFF! GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111eleventy!!!

  44. If this wasn’t so sad, it would be funny. CNN Obama Truth-O-Meter. Obama passed the truthfulness test! Only because half-truths are not treated as lies.
    http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2009/04/26/levs.obama.truthometer.cnn

  45. *assumes all women on this thread are menstruating*

    Nopers, but you didn’t run fast enough.

  46. Baby Podu, the worlds smallest Deer:

  47. I propose that we kill whoever posts the new video of Britney dancing with a tampon string hanging out. Someone is gonna do it, and that person should die.

  48. Its that kinda rainy morning here.

  49. I’m angry with Michael for making me aware that such a video exists.

  50. I propose that we kill whoever posts the new video of Britney dancing with a tampon string hanging out. Someone is gonna do it, and that person should die.

    Great. You just gave TBOM a new reason to live. Holy %$*@^!%ups, Batman!

  51. I’m angry with Michael for making me aware that such a video exists.

    Now you know why I couldn’t come up with anything to post at IB yesterday. That video was my best idea.

    :)

  52. Are we trying to win some sort of award for “The Longest Post Ever Not Under The Fold”?

  53. There is a video of Britney dancing with Michael’s speedo hanging out?

    Gross.

  54. Gah, I’ve got a badass case of “I’m only working here for another 2.5 weeks, and I don’t give a shit”. It’s not good. I have to teach a new class today and I should be studying, but I just can’t get up any sort of care.

  55. Hi All.

    Britney in a speedo, isn’t that a thong?

  56. I wanna see the tampon video. Where is it?

  57. The tampon video is gross. It would be easy to cut her slack if she didn’t have that melt down, but after the melt down seeing that string flipping about under her flibble flabble is just a confirmation of how sick and undisciplined her life is.

  58. Is it a tampon? Or a plug to hold her brains in?

  59. Wow! Thanks for that! I sure am glad I couldn’t go the whole morning without wanting to claw my eyes out.

  60. What’re you gonna do tat? Is it just because it closes for the summer? Or did you give your notice?

  61. What’re you gonna do tat? Is it just because it closes for the summer? Or did you give your notice?

    I’ve got a job for the summer down in MO. That covers me for a couple of months and then it’s back to the job-hunting.

  62. Who killed teh funneh?

  63. …her flibble flabble

    *spits out lunch salad*

    BWAA HA HA HAAA

    Great euphemism.

    Can we get some brainstorming going on what kind of punishment PJ gets for posting that?

    I think she should be shot with a gun that shoots bobcats

  64. Who killed teh funneh?

    I did. What the hell are you gonna do about it, huh?

  65. Who killed teh funneh?

    *looks around the room

    *raises hand slowly

    sorry

  66. Hi everyone.

  67. I eat bobcats for dessert………and always with coffee. For some reason my stomach doesn’t handle them well unless I have coffee. I’m not sure why. I’m sure there’s some reason, perhaps it goes back to my childhood or a past life, but bobcats don’t always agree with me.

    weird, I know.

  68. Who the hell put that Muslim Cat Stevens video up?

  69. Awww….I lumme that sweet puppy up there!

  70. Who the hell put that Muslim Cat Stevens video up?

    Yeah! What the eff?

  71. moarining alll.l

  72. UAW gets 55%, Obama 35%, the people 10% of Chrysler.

    Obama 50%, UAW 39%, of GM.

    I don’t think I will be buying an American car for awhile. At least until they kick out the Japs.

  73. Hi Folly and Brad.I.

  74. Until they kick out Japs, how long before GM and Chrysler go bye-bye?

  75. Wild World lyrics are passive-aggressive bullshit. If enybody ever said goodbye to me like that I’d key their car on the way out.

    “Yeah, it’s a wild world alright, asshole.”

  76. PnB,
    Go for Fords. They said, “We don’t need yer stinkin’ stimulous money!” and they are making some great cars. The Fusion is great, and check out the Lincoln and mercury lines, not bad.

    I own a Ford and have never had problems with it, I love it.

    That company is run well and deserves people to consider their products.

  77. I did. What the hell are you gonna do about it, huh?

    *tazes Tattoo in the butt*

    *tackles Tattoo*

    *duct tapes Tattoo to chair*

    *puts Air Supply’s greatest hits on continuous play*

    *leaves*

  78. The only good Cat Stevens song is Hard Headed Woman, because it is true.

  79. How are you doing today xbrad?

    Feeling better?

  80. If he wrote that song today, with a Muslim perspective:
    Oooh baby baby it’s a wild world, it’s hard to get by without your head girl, yea

  81. it’s hard to get by without your head girl, yea

    HAHAHAHA!

  82. Plus, uni, the Mercury girl is hot.

  83. #

    That company is run well and deserves people to consider their products.

    Umm, their head dude, thinks that $4/gallon gas is too low.

    *tazes Tattoo in the butt*

    *tackles Tattoo*

    *duct tapes Tattoo to chair*

    *puts Air Supply’s greatest hits on continuous play*

    *leaves*

    Shoulda gagged me dumbass.

  84. Well fuck you too HTML.

  85. Feeling better?

    A little. Just don’t have much of a reserve supply of funneh.

  86. xbrad,
    Not bad, classy even.

    Yea, the Lincoln MKZ is a nice fucking car, a great alternative to the Audi if you live in snow country. Super classy exterior and nice interior. Audi is nothing more than a VW with upgrades.

  87. DPUD is reporting that Arlen Specter (D-Bowels of Hell) will switch parties today…

    http://doubleplusundead.mee.nu/sen._arlen_specter_d-pa

  88. TI,
    what are you referring to?

    Still, he must be doing something right, they don’t need no bailout money.

  89. TI,
    what are you referring to?

    I’ll have to see if I can find it. There was a meeting/conference/briefing w/ one of the head guys of Ford, last name Ford. He said that $4/gallon gas was too low.

  90. Shoulda gagged me dumbass.

    You’re deep in the woods, stupid. No one can hear you scream.

  91. Uni, I’m a Beemer guy.

    Not one of those douchebag beemer guys with a pastel colored shirt and a bad fake tan. I first drove a Beemer on twisty roads in the hinterlands of Bavaria. I’ve liked them ever since. So I finally got an old one.

    Here’s a pic of me in Bavaria:

    http://tinyurl.com/dyshdj

  92. Specter is a son of a bitch. Good riddance you motherfucker.

  93. PnB,
    Go for Fords.

    Hopefully it won’t be for awhile. We bought a Honda last year after the kid totalled my Grand Am.

  94. You’re deep in the woods, stupid. No one can hear you scream.

    You sure about that?

  95. I love Bavaria and the Germans.
    Is there a quality difference between BMWs made in Germany and BMWs made in the US?

    I love healthy German women with their big healthy German boobs.

  96. Don’t remember which blog I was on, but someone was saying Specter couldn’t get elected in his state as a dem at the time, so he did what he could to get elected. He is doing it again. We will see how that works out for him.

  97. Uni, the German BMWs of course have metric speedometers, there are some differences in the emmissions systems, and they tend to be somewhat lighter.
    The gearing ratios are usually different as well to account for higher speeds on the autobahn.

  98. *looks down at own not big German boobs*

    meh

  99. Adios, Specter, you middle-of-the-road-humping douchebag. I know you think this is going to swell your personal political power in the Senate but that’s because you’re an idiot. Ask Jim Jeffords how well switching parties works out.

    So with that, thanks for fucking shit up for your party the last decade while aggrandizing your own sense of self-importance. Now take Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins and get the fuck out.

    Good riddance, spineless worm, and don’t let conservative principles hit you in the fucking ass on the way out.

  100. You sure about that?

    Can we hug and make up yet?

  101. Yeah!
    What Rosetta said!

    And Bite me you weak assed bitch!

    (A.S. not anyone here)

  102. good afternoon all. I just found out that one of my old students is in the movie “He’s just not that into you. He is like in a bar scene. His name is Josh Shideler. Girls click on his name to see his bio and what a little cutie he is. Nina was like Wow he is hot! hahahaha

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/fullcredits

  103. Here’s a pic of me in Bavaria:

    http://tinyurl.com/dyshdj

    Now that was funny.

    GOOD JOB, BUDDY!!!

  104. And to think, Toomey barely lost in 2004 to him.

  105. He is like in a bar scene.

    UMMMM did I all of a sudden become LIKE a Valley Girl?

  106. Good riddance, spineless worm, and don’t let conservative principles hit you in the fucking ass on the way out.

    My sentiments exactly!

  107. Can we hug and make up yet?

    Fine. *sideways hug so Rosie doesn’t get any boob*

  108. Do you think the contributors at the Huffington Poo will hyperventilate until they pass out when we elect some real right wingers in the next election?

  109. Uni, here’s some of it, still looking for the $4 thing

    http://www.autobloggreen.com/tag/bill+ford+jr./

  110. http://www.globalexchange.org/war_peace_democracy/oil/1741.html

    There’s a bit more.

  111. He is like in a bar scene.

    Nothing to compare to my famed bar scene in The Flintstones, I’m sure.

  112. Are you in that Geoff?

  113. K, I really have to go study now. See y’all later.

  114. My wife worked on the movie, and got me in as an extra, so I’m sitting at the corner of the bar when Rick Moranis leaves the table with Fred, Wilma, and Betty and looks at the TV behind the bar.

    Highlights of what was an amazing (and paid!!) day:

    Met Elizabeth Perkins – meh

    Met Rosie O’Donnell: she told my wife I was her “Tom Cruise husband,” so I’ve never been able to say anything bad about her since. She also gave us a Lakers jacket, so I’m completely bought off.

    Got to carry the B-52s luggage to their rental car.

  115. I was in three movies.

    Yup.

  116. When someone who sings like a giant pussy tells you it’s a Wild World, what they really mean is no one will validate your parking ticket.

  117. That is so cool Geoff!

    What movies Mesa?

  118. When someone who sings like a giant pussy

    …struggling to imagine how that would sound…

  119. I was in Citizen Kane. I played this guy:

    http://tinyurl.com/c99jnj

  120. When someone who sings like a giant pussy

    Someone sings like eddiebear?

  121. What movies Mesa?

    Yeah, give it up!!

  122. I was on this show for 4 years running:

    http://www.wfum.org/hsc/index.html

  123. I was on this show for 4 years running:

    Did you play “Ben?”

  124. Congratulations to FLUSHING!!! The 2009 season winner!

    What? Is it that hard to flip the fucking handle? Do Michiganers normally just let the turds pile up in the bowl?

  125. Of Course, when I was on, it was still hosted by the scintilating Jim Gaver, so there you go, and Bob’s your uncle.

  126. I’ve had AFRTS stick a microphone and camera in my face twice. First time in Korea, I was pretty unprepared. Second time in Germany, I was smooove…

  127. Did you play “Ben?”

    No, but they could only fit “Blackis” on my name tag. It was very embarrassing.

  128. Congratulations to FLUSHING!!! The 2009 season winner!

    What? Is it that hard to flip the fucking handle? Do Michiganers normally just let the turds pile up in the bowl?

    Poor Flushing. They endured more shit from other districts in the county pissing up their backs than any school should have to endure. It was sad, really…

    It also made me very very glad I didn’t go to Flushing. But my cousins did. Ha!

  129. Heh. Flushing. In a Bowl competition. For Geeks.

    Tell me those kids didn’t get beat down on more than wiserbud’s dick.

  130. What movies Mesa?

    Yeah, give it up!!

    Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, My Slightly Used Rubber Fist, SALT!: A Story of Lust, and BOB SAGET!!!: These Damn Redheads Won’t Let Me Be!

  131. Ferris Bueller, The Fugitive and The Omen.

    All just crowd scenes.

  132. Just because I can:

  133. Oh, and I was on ER.

    They filmed a fill in scene at my L stop in Chicago and I walked right through it before I realized what was going on.

    I was also called “sick in the head” by a Senator on the local news.

  134. “What’s wrong with you?”

    Heh. I’m sure that’s a long list…

  135. “I was also called “sick in the head” by a Senator on the local news.”

    I wanna hear this story.

  136. Ferris Bueller, The Fugitive and The Omen.

    All just crowd scenes.

    I’ve got all those, can you actually see you in them?

  137. Actually, i’ve only got the origianl Omen, you’re probably talking about the remake.

  138. I was in amovie too, i was the guy who whipped out his wang in the basketball scene of Teen Wolf.

  139. I was also called “sick in the head” by a Senator on the local news.

    Yeah, well, they aren’t big Blackhawks fans in Ottawa.

  140. can you actually see you in them?

    Sort of.

    It was the Omen where the ferris wheel came loose. Maybe Omen II

  141. Man Specter is an arrogant fuck.

    He just said that he refuses to have his 29 year career ended by the Republican primary voters which, according to his reading of the polls, is exactly what would happen. Then he went on to say this switch was based on principle.

    Hahahahahaha.

    I’m sure that makes the Democrats feel good about getting such a team player.

    What a fucking asshole.

    I feel 9% better about the Republican party now that that weak-kneed self-loving slap-sister is gone.

  142. Specter’s announcement has more contradictions than a Chinese phone book.

  143. It was the Omen where the ferris wheel came loose. Maybe Omen II

    Hahahahaha!!

    Have you ever met my wife….yeah my wife….uh… MORGAN FAIRCHILD…yeah Morgan Fairchild.

  144. I’d love to see him lose in the Dem primary.

    Of course, they won’t dare run anyone against him. Hopefully, this only spares him for a few extra months.

    Fucking scumbag.

  145. He just said that he refuses to have his 29 year career ended by the Republican primary voters which, according to his reading of the polls, is exactly what would happen.

    Damn those voters! How dare they pucker his sphincter for being so out of touh with them! He knows best! He does he does he does!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

  146. Eh, it’s Pennsylvania, the same people who keep sending murtha back. Specter will win.

  147. What really sucks is that the Dems will clear the primary for him, back him to the hilt financailly, and he’ll probably win the general.

  148. Hahahahaha!!

    Yeah, I’d make up being in a crowd scene. So much to gain from that.

    Punch yourself in your non-existent nut.

  149. Cool. I put up a post about the M1117 ASV a while ago, and today I get a comment from a dad whose son survived an IED attack in a variant. Nice to get a little feedback.

  150. Where do you want me to send those pictures brad and by when do you need them?

  151. When I lived in Manhattan, I saw a dozen movies being made, it was pretty boring. Like Mesa I walked through the set of one not knowing it. (I actually stayed in the set for a hour before figuring it out)

  152. HAHAHAHAH!!!

    Lincoln Chafee?

    What a fucking moron.

  153. Oh my God.

    Found this over at Jim Treacher’s recently renamed Twitterblog:

    http://arthurkade.com/

    I love Treacher.

  154. Arthur Kade is so last week.

  155. forged, just send ’em to xbradtc at yahoo dot com. If I get them by Monday afternoon, I’ll put her up for Tuesday morning, with mad props to the overnight DJ.

  156. After a douchebag move like this, some nearly-instant karma would be great to see come next November.

    If nothing else, watching him contort himself in the Democrat primary to explain why he’s the best Democrat will be funny.

    Q: Senator Specter, as a known backstabbing traitor, why should the Democrats in Pennsylvania want to have you representing them?

    What assurances can you give us that we won’t get royally fucked in the ass like the Repulicans that elected you did last year when you switched parties should that turn out to be convenient for you?

    xthnxbai.

  157. Damn near every movie that even refers to Chicago has a shot down LaSalle street towards to Board of Trade. That or they put in a shot of the Rookery, on LaSalle. Used to be a hassle getting by them when I was running to lunch.

  158. This is the post that originally outed the douchebag — http://arthurkade.com/2009/04/21/grooming/

  159. Xbrad I used to work just around the corner from LaSalle and took the LaSalle bus home. Was held up by that crap way too often.

  160. forged, just send ‘em to xbradtc at yahoo dot com. If I get them by Monday afternoon, I’ll put her up for Tuesday morning, with mad props to the overnight DJ.

    Allrighty

  161. I used to work at 208 S. LaSalle, next door to the Fed.

  162. heh

  163. Forged,

    HA!

  164. Mesa was a captain…

    Just sayin…

  165. 181 W. Madison

  166. Here’s a picture — http://www.flickr.com/photos/polomex/2486869424/

  167. Truck chase on FoxNews!

  168. …the woman taking my blood at Quest Diagnostics had a visible mustache. I actually felt uncomfortable having her take my blood because of this, and I contemplated mentioning to her that I wanted a new nurse.

    heeee
    He’s craaaazy

  169. A truck driver got carjacked and then climbed on the back of the truck. He’s sitting back there while the truck goes down the road with flat tires.

  170. Dude jumped off the truck.

    Now it’s an O.J. chase.

  171. I just spent all last weekend trying to get holy for naught.

    This made me LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

    Artie , you don’t have a prayer
    You speak as well as Stephen Hawking swims

  172. Shep Smith is unbelievably annoying.

  173. Wow, this guy is fighting back against twenty cops.

  174. Face plant into the guard rail. Over.

  175. uh… MORGAN FAIRCHILD…yeah Morgan Fairchild.

    I met her on the set of Based on an Untrue Story. She was really nice, and really attractive, but she was supposed to have a fatal nose disease in the movie, so they had her made up with a trickle of blood coming out of her nose.

    And that’s all I could see.

  176. I need a translator please. The online translator I use is “temporarily unavailable” and has been that way all morning.

    Busca un objeto en casa que tenga la misma forma que las siguientes figuras solidas. Escribe el nombre del objecto y haz un dibujo.

  177. Yeah, I know that building, Mesa. Think I ate lunch in the lobby a few times.

  178. Best IT consultant web site – – ever.

    http://www.lolworld.com/

    No wonder I can’t find work with competition like this.

  179. Busca un objeto en casa que tenga la misma forma que las siguientes figuras solidas. Escribe el nombre del objecto y haz un dibujo.

    Your turtle, it is a squished.

  180. k, this is the translation I got now that my online thingie is working

    Find a home in order to take the same form as the following figures solid. Enter the name of the object and make a drawing.

  181. “It looks for an object in house that has the same form that the following been accustomed to figures. The name of objecto writes and you do a drawing.”

    There ya go.

  182. Your turtle, it is a squished.

    *slaps forehead

    Oooooh! It was in Italian! No wonder I was having a tough time.

  183. Whaddya know? There is a country filled with gay policeman — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWF4x01MkzE

  184. There ya go.

    HAHAHA! Yeah, that’s as helpful as my other translation.

  185. No wonder I can’t find work with competition like this.

    Nothing says hi-tech like a 1992 GeoCities webpage.

  186. oh wait, you know what pupster? that actually makes sense now. they have a picture of a cube, a ball and a rectangle, so Madeleine has to find an object in the house that’s the same shape and draw it on the paper.

    YAY! thanks

    can you tell me what translator you use?

  187. Fucking Arlen Specter. That RINO. I hope he gets his ass pounded in the next election.

  188. My Microsoft Office ‘Word’ (2003) software started flaking out last year when everyone else in the office upgraded to 2007. It keeps switching my primary language to French. FRENCH! Spell check is totally hosed.

    My copy of Word has a built in translator, if you highlight a word or phrase and right-click, ‘translate’ is one of the options. It actually opens a window to WorldLingo’s free translator: http://www.worldlingo.com/

  189. thank you cute little puppy wupster, you

    I’m finding with Madeleine’s homework, I have to learn it everyday before she comes home so I can read it to her in Spanish and then translate and tell her what to do in Spanish

    I’m gonna learn it before she does.

    bwaha hahaha hahaha

  190. Heh. Just ran to McDs for lunch. I almost drove off the road on the way home. I saw some chick walking a giant black standard poodle and started laughing my ass off.

  191. Busca un objeto en casa que tenga la misma forma que las siguientes figuras solidas. Escribe el nombre del objecto y haz un dibujo.

    Do not insert fruits and vegetables into bodily orifices unless done under the supervision of an expert???
    *slaps the side of the computer*
    That can’t be right!

  192. Truck chase on FoxNews!

    I like when mesa lives blogs stupid shit on TV.

    It makes me laugh because it is teh ghey.

  193. I saw some chick walking a giant black standard poodle and started laughing my ass off.

    Well? Did you blast it with a cannon?

  194. thank you cute little puppy wupster, you

    I think I just peed a little.

  195. Nope, I tossed it a McDouble.

    If that doesn’t kill it, I don’t know what will….

  196. Wiser demonstrating why his daughter nominated him for ‘Uncool Dad of the Year”:

    http://tinyurl.com/ch4fbx

  197. This is the only time today you lucky sons-a-bitches will see me. I am here to say this:

    Going to school at 53 y/o sucks old dead maggot covered donkey ass . To the jackoffs that told me this would be fun – stick a side-ways, pissedoff, rabies infested porcupine up your ass and pull it out your nostrils.

    That is all. See ya tomorrow.

  198. hey all. So no painkillers yesterday or today. I was up until 4AM this morning and slept from 4-10:30 AM and now I could totally pass out again. My Dad brought me lunch today and we watched that idiot who stole the semi. I am so boring I am lulling myself to sleep

  199. Why Rosetta and his boyfriend “Chewy” don’t get invited to formal events anymore:

    http://tinyurl.com/d5pyzt

  200. Kornkat Annie,
    If you wanted fun you should have tried the rubber fist.

  201. Wiser…WISER!

    Nooooooooooooo!

  202. I am often approached with the following inquiry. “Rosetta, you’re the smarted man I know. Exactly how gay do you think BIW is?” And I always say, although I can’t be sure, I estimate that he is even gayer than this:

  203. hahahaha pup

  204. And trust me….it’s pretty frickin’ gay.

    *FUCK YOU, YOUTUBE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT COCKSUCKING FAGGOT DOUCHEBAG ASSHOLE CUM-SWILLING MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

  205. I am often approached with the following inquiry. “Rosetta, you’re the smarted man I know.

    That might be profound if I didn’t know that you currently reside at the Missouri Institute for the Criminally Retarded, and that the state evaluators have no plans of letting you out into the general public, or for taking the cork off your fork so you don’t spear yourself in the eye while eating.

  206. *FUCK YOU, YOUTUBE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT COCKSUCKING FAGGOT DOUCHEBAG ASSHOLE CUM-SWILLING MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gay porn link EPIC FAIL!!!

    What’s next? Getting rejected by your hand?????

  207. You know, Rosetta, some links should leave a little mystery. Like that one. I could have happily passed up on seeing even the still image.

  208. And While Rosetta tries to figure out how to blame his latest misfortune on Mare, a little palette cleansing:

  209. DAMN YOU GAY PORN!!!!

    *shakes rubber foot at sky*

    *opens beer*

  210. You guys certainly have a thing for gay porn. It’s like you want to come out of the closet but are afraid we might laugh at you.

  211. BiW, I think I found our tshirt!

    NFWITSFW

  212. *opens beer*

    AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  213. “What’s next? Getting rejected by your hand?????”

    hahahahahahahahaah

  214. sOhOs, I’ll share my beer with you.

  215. “What’s next? Getting rejected by your hand?????”

    hahahahahahahahaah

    Pity laugh.

    *ties Mare’s shoelaces together*

  216. “BiW, I think I found our tshirt!”

    Good one, PattyAnn.

    LOL

  217. Haha, Mare, I would wear it.

    I am a Hostage.

  218. I agree with Uniball, PA is stupid so you never know how they’re going to vote.

    They like it hard and fast from behind, then hard again, then with some slapping, then hard again. (no lube).

    Specter makes me sick and has for a long time. Murtha can kiss my butt too.

  219. BiW, I think I found our tshirt!

    NFWITSFW

    http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y47/PattyAnn/web/tshirt.jpg

    I think you’re right. Seeing The Hostage wimmins in them will be funneh like Rosetta walking into a room full of giant, Miller Chill swilling poodles

  220. PattyAnn, all the Hostage women will wear them at a meet-up.

  221. Rosetta get over here now with beer! That is what I am asking the Doctor on Friday…Can I drink a beer damnit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  222. “I am often approached with the following inquiry. “Rosetta, you’re the smarted man I know. Exactly how gay do you think BIW is?” ”

    That’s pretty funny too…..hahahahahahaa

    I do not do pity laughs except for C3PO.

  223. I’m too slow for shoe laces, I wear velcro.

  224. I’m having Ma and Pa over for dinner so need to start the victuals.

    While I’m gone, why don’t you all take turns Tazing each other in the coccyx.

    COUNT YOUR TAIL!!!!!

  225. Rosetta, you should know better. What are you cooking?

  226. jeez another tornado warning. we cannot handle anymore rain.

  227. *reaches over and tazes Mare’s t-shirt*

  228. *mare doubles over and accidently tazes xbrad in the swimsuit area

  229. Sohos, I’m pretty sure the beer ban is because of the medications. Why don’t you call your Dr. and tell him you’re off your pain meds and can you have a beer? He may say no if you’re on antibiotics or the like, but the worst he can say is no.

  230. dont believe John Beck.

  231. Who is John Beck? Glenn’s retarded cousin?

  232. Is it wrong of me to pipe up and say that I drink beer regardless of painkillers or antibiodics?

  233. Sox! Go hide behind the couch, quick!

  234. Folly, I’ve done it, too. I just don’t want to be a bad influence on Sohos since she’s been behaving so well.

  235. John Beck does those infomercials about buying homes from Govt that were repossessed from people not paying their taxes on the home. It is a HUGE scam.

  236. *mare doubles over and accidently tazes xbrad in the swimsuit area

    Hey, let’s leave my extraordinary nutsnack out of this! Gotta run. I’m taking a friend to an appointment. See you ‘tards later.

  237. “Is it wrong of me to pipe up and say that I drink beer regardless of painkillers or antibiodics?”

    It is not wrong to say it because you are a Hostage, so we assume it.

    (for legal purposes, well, I’m not sure)

  238. “Sup, hawt wimmens??

  239. “mare doubles over”

    What??? You’re double-jointed??? At long last, the mystery of Mare’s FIHBs is explained.

  240. I’m really not so concerned with mixing the pills w/beer, but reducing my ability to heal. I dont want anything to slow down the process. I havent had a painkiller in two days. Count is bringing me home some Extra Strength Tylenol so I am switching to that.

  241. I think all this hideous rain is now heading your direction PattyAnn

    You’re double-jointed???

    I am knees and elbows. I am afraid my left knee wont ever pop all the way back again.

  242. “You’re double-jointed???”

    I wish.

    Hi, C3PO! Did you golf today?

  243. I hope you and your family have a nice dinner Rosie.

  244. Thanks for the warning, Sohos. It’s supposed to rain off and on here all week. Yesterday all day was loud thunderstorms.
    At least it’s been cool, though.

    And I am not double-jointed; I thought Mare was since she doubled over.

  245. Doubled over from your tazing.

  246. Can the R party sue him for all the money they spent to get him re-elected?

  247. But Mare, I just tazed your tshirt dick. Surely, you felt nothing :)

  248. “But Mare, I just tazed your tshirt dick. Surely, you felt nothing ”

    hahahahaha

  249. (Won’t xbrad be surprised?)

  250. What is a “tshirt dick”?

  251. hahahaha Uni….scroll back up to pattyann’s link to biw

  252. Sorry – Got distracted. The Missus cut my hair in the garage.

    Mare – Yes I did. It was a warm and windy day today but, the fellowship was wonderful!

  253. Me too Rosetta.

    I really mean that.

  254. I was just cruising around the internet for information on a story that I heard on the radio about Mel Gibson having a second family. Since this is a cat and gossip blog I was wondering if any of you read about that? I know his “girl friend” may be pregnant, but a completely separate family?

    The booze has really fried his brain.

  255. Let’s pants Romy when she shows up tonight!!!!

  256. what does that mean?

  257. Sohita- What does what mean??

  258. Let’s pants Romy when she shows up tonight

  259. what does THAT mean

  260. \ˈthat, thət\
    Function:
    pronoun
    Inflected Form(s):
    plural those Listen to the pronunciation of those \ˈthōz\
    Etymology:
    Middle English, from Old English thæt, neuter demonstrative pron. & definite article; akin to Old High German daz, neuter demonstrative pron. & definite article, Greek to, Latin istud, neuter demonstrative pron.
    Date:
    before 12th century

    1 a: the person, thing, or idea indicated, mentioned, or understood from the situation b: the time, action, or event specified c: the kind or thing specified as follows d: one or a group of the indicated kind 2 a: the one farther away or less immediately under observation or discussion b: the former one3 a—used as a function word after and to indicate emphatic repetition of the idea expressed by a previous word or phrase b—used as a function word immediately before or after a word group consisting of a verbal auxiliary or a form of the verb be preceded by there or a personal pronoun subject to indicate emphatic repetition of the idea expressed by a previous verb or predicate noun or predicate adjective 4 a: the one : the thing : the kind : something, anything bplural : some persons
    — all that
    : everything of the kind indicated
    — at that
    1: in spite of what has been said or implied2: in addition : 2besides

  261. Got it??

  262. *sniff, sniff

    Nope, I showered. Wonder what it could be?

  263. Let’s pants Romy when she shows up tonight

    Sneak up behind her and pull her pants down. Heh, i still remember doing that to a friend of mine in elementary school in front of the popular girls, good times.

  264. Anybody remember this song?

  265. Mel Gibson is an idiot and I hope his wife cleans him out for being such a tool.

  266. hey, could you guys do me a favor? If my wife calls, tell her I’m with you in St. Paul, MN, okay?

  267. Can I tell her you’re naked in bed with me?

  268. Bast from the past! And it doesn’t smell like MCPO’s shoes, either!

  269. Can I tell her you’re naked in bed with me?

    Okay, I’m trying to work up something she’ll actually believe…..

  270. Can I tell her you’re naked in bed with me?
    If he is not interested I will volunteer!

  271. Okay, I’m trying to work up something she’ll actually believe…..

    Then tell her you’re in bed with Rosetta.

  272. If he is not interested I will volunteer!

    Looks like you’re it then.

  273. Thanks Forged. BTW~ how old are you?

  274. Then tell her you’re in bed with Rosetta.

    Sadly, that, she would probably buy…

  275. I read Guadalcanal Diary when I was in the 8th grade, and again about 10 years later, and it made an impression on me.

    But I didn’t appreciate it until I met a Marine named Sonny, who enlisted at 17, went to New Zealand to train, and fought with the Marine all the way from Guadalcanal to Ie Shima (near Iwo). He was wounded on Guadalcanal, still has a piece of Japanese shrapnel in his eye all these years later.

    One of the finest gentlemen it has ever been my privilege to know.

  276. Nina Blackwood is hot! That video reminded me of when Mtv was still new and a lot of bands just used stock film footage that was free to make their videos. Kind of like this one which can’t be embedded. stupid no embed option.

  277. Thanks Forged. BTW~ how old are you?

    Somewhere between 20 and 60.

    Seriously, i have bad internet paranoia and try not to put too much personal stuff on the tubes.

  278. I know you’re all out to get me.

    Aren’t you?

    Admit it!

  279. last time I saw Nina Blackwood she was peddling 80’s rock ballads on an informercial.

    Or was that Julie Brown (the black one, not the white one with the big ta-tas who was in Earth Girls Are Easy)?

  280. I know you’re all out to get me.

    Aren’t you?

    Admit it!

    Not as far as you know…..

  281. Where’s mesa and xbrad?

  282. It was late last night
    I was feeling something wasn’t right
    There was not another soul in sight
    Only you, only you
    So we walked along,
    Though I knew there was something wrong
    And the feeling in me oh so strong about you
    Then you gazed up at me and the answer was plain to see
    cause I saw the light in your eyes

  283. Forged, I understand that, I just wondered b/c most of your references make you seem like my contemporary.

  284. Yeah that was Nina on those commercials, i remember them too.

    Not as far as you know…..

    *updates mccafee*

    *hides behind ten proxies*

  285. Can I tell her you’re naked in bed with me?
    If he is not interested I will volunteer!

    Vmax is naked and in bed with wiser? He better hope wiserbud doesn’t find out. He’s a jealous one.

  286. I do that crap to fool people about my oldness too!

  287. you aint old dave

  288. Forged, I understand that, I just wondered b/c most of your references make you seem like my contemporary.

    Yeah, i think we’re pretty close.

  289. Kickass MCPO, i had forgotten all about that tune.

  290. Well, I’m like, .4 or something in MCPO years.

  291. I bet forged is around 40.

  292. Hello? Is this on?

  293. kick it Folly,
    Sometimes it works

  294. Oh, right. Hi Vmax. I’m drinking Coppola Shiraz tonight.

  295. I want to be clear Arlen Specter is a whore

  296. I am not a big wine drinker, there are a few I like and some I tolerate, but I have a unrefined palate when it comes to wine.
    What is your favourite?

  297. VMAX:
    I like a nice Shiraz from the Land Of Oz.

  298. I prefer Merlot. I love wine. I’d love to own a winery.

    Yes, Arlen Spector is such a whore that he makes Heidi Fleiss look like a nun.

  299. Chief:
    Take note:

  300. Vmax the law of Karma says he will get his. It is just a matter of time.

  301. Folly:
    There are some very good vineyards in Central MO, namely Augusta.

  302. I found Mesa:

  303. Folly:
    There are some very good vineyards in Central MO, namely Augusta.,/i>

    Really? How far is that from Tulsa?

  304. Damn, damn, damn. Close the html.

  305. eddiebear’s carbon bandwidth footprint is destroying teh environmentz.

  306. where’s mesa?

    He’s asleep on my couch. You want me to wake him?

  307. The next one to comment on this thread has to pick the sand out of wiserbud’s ass crack.

  308. Can I do it with my tongue?

  309. He’s asleep on my couch. You want me to wake him?

    Is he naked? Take pics first.

  310. Here is a list of some of them
    http://www.missouriwine.org/wineries/default.htm

    Augusta to Tulsa: 366 miles.
    Lake of the Ozarks to Tulsa: 150 miles

  311. Can I do it with my tongue?

    EWWWW!!

    Hi PJ! *waves*

  312. Hi brewfan. I can’t resist a good dare.

  313. Is he naked? Take pics first.

    Can’t we have “yourguessisasgoodasmine/client” privilege.

  314. Can’t we have “yourguessisasgoodasmine/client” privilege.

    No.

  315. Can I do it with my tongue?

    I think I scared the neighbor when I laughed at that, thankyouverymuch PJM :)

  316. Ooooops! I wrote that wrong.

    I can’t, we have “yourguessisasgoodasmine/client” privilege.

  317. I think I scared the neighbor when I laughed at that, thankyouverymuch PJM

    hahaha, sometimes I wonder what people think when I make comments like that. I was figuring people were gagging and puking.

  318. Ooooops! I wrote that wrong.

    I can’t, we have “yourguessisasgoodasmine/client” privilege.

    Oh. Well is he hot naked?

  319. MOM!!!!

    Folly’s trying to look at mesa’s naked ass again!!!

  320. Folly’s trying to look at mesa’s naked ass again!!!

    Wasn’t talking about his ass….

  321. Oh. Well is he hot naked?

    No, he was hot and that’s why he took his clothes off. He’s prolly fine now.

  322. Hi everyone, and might I point out that for some reason the embedded shit isn’t showing up here and thank you because they seem to cause the page to load slower (here anyway)when they do.

  323. heheh

  324. Hi TG, hi again VMAX. You don’t drink much wine?

  325. Hello? Anyone here?

  326. OK, back from taking my friend to his appointment.

  327. Hi xbrad. How are you today?

  328. I’d be better if I could get a hold of Rich. We’re supposed to meet for drinks. I called and left a message. Gonna try again right now.

  329. what ever happened to Robert, Rich’s twin?

  330. Robert popped in a week or so ago. He said he’d just been crazy busy.

  331. I’m sure you’ll get a hold of him.

  332. Here I stand head in hand
    Turn my face to the wall
    If she’s gone I can’t go on
    Feelin’ two-foot small

    Everywhere people stare
    Each and every day
    I can see them laugh at me
    And i hear them say

  333. Folly, I think his wife got wind of what he had in mind and put her foot down…

  334. Well, I’d let you go, Xbrad.

  335. Then again, I’m not the type to bitch when my spouse goes out so long as there aren’t any other women involved.

  336. Heh. Stoaty is an arteest.

    http://sweasel.com/archives/3587

    SFW if you are a proctologist.

  337. WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

    http://www.popularmechanics.com/home_journal/workshop/4315103.html

  338. Just sayin’

  339. Arlen Specter is a man without integrity. He is a man without honor. I would cross the street in order to spit on his shoes!

  340. Mrs. Rich looks by her PoL pic to be a very nice lady. And really, who can blame her for not wanting her husband to hang out with people that hang out here?

  341. Mrs. Rich looks by her PoL pic to be a very nice lady. And really, who can blame her for not wanting her husband to hang out with people that hang out here?

    Uh, trust?

  342. I wouldn’t let you go b-rad. I’m an evil bitch and would have you tied up all the time. I’d only let you out to go to work and come straight home.

    and that’s being generous

  343. Rich’s wife is BEAUTIFUL! Their whole family is.

  344. Due to our warm weather, the bugs are out early this year.

    Safe for Work – If you work in the local Pole Dancing spot!

    http://tiny.pl/zjq7

  345. I’m a little uncomfortable busting on someone’s spouse unless they’ve clearly said they are fair game. She’s not here to defend herself.

  346. I’m not busting on her, xbrad. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t be so restrictive. However, with you, I’m with PJ. You wouldn’t WANT to go anywhere else.

  347. PJ, if I were yours, why would I ever want to leave?

    and, what’s “work?”

  348. *sniff, sniff* I thought it was me you loved, Xbrad.

  349. I’m a slut, what can I say, Folly?

  350. *sniff, sniff*

    Oh I wouldn’t smell that if I were you. That’s “taint”

  351. I’m a slut, what can I say, Folly?

    *runs away crying*

  352. New post up, my brilliant morons!

  353. So, should we go to the new post while Folly is crying?

  354. I’d say that’s good timing b-rad

  355. So no one wants to fucking comfort me? Fuck you.

  356. I’m here for you, Fally.

    Wait….one sec…. lemme make another drink for me and the bride….

    brb bblbblbblbblbbl….


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