Monday Caption Contest

obamessiah1

Well, if this image doesn’t make you want to buy some nice real estate in Hell, then I don’t know what to say to you.

Bring the captions, and teh funneh. And remember, you aren’t really going to Hell for mocking this tool because Teh Black Baby Jesus™ doesn’t like him either.

535 Comments

  1. “Obama Christ Superstar”

  2. This or a slightly used rubber fist? I’ll take foreign anal objects for $1000, Alex.

  3. I believe Harry Reid presented that to him in person, or is that a viscous rumor started by the VRWC?

  4. “I’ll take what’s behind Curtain No. 2, Monte”

  5. I haveta close the curtain. I told them to CHANGE! the seal.

  6. Where da white chicks at?

  7. “I wanted a crown of gold dammit, not a crown of thorns.”

  8. Pimpin’ ain’t easy

  9. Man, am I glad I told the artist “From the waist up.” Its one thing to have Chris Matthews and Keith Olberman furiously humping my legs and sniffing my crotch, but it is another to have it captured for posterity.

  10. ^Hahahahaha.

  11. Billions worldwide dream that Obama could only be identified as a “resident” of the United States.

  12. It’s just so fucking pathetic. Even JFK didn’t get canonized like this pathetic douche bag does.

    Makes me sick.

    ‘Forgive them Allah, for they know not what they voted for’

  13. Another “imperfect” element of the this racist, eveil government that I have to CHANGE!

  14. “I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty, and witty and gay.”

  15. I HOPE! that they never figure out how unqualified I am to be standing here.

  16. “Is she gone? Damn, I know I married her, but that woman really scares me sometimes.”

  17. “HA! That bitch Hillary will NEVER top this!”

  18. “Hmmm. Never any Daddy’s Fingers around when you could really use ’em.”

  19. Stand up, MSNBC. Well, OK. You can finish.

    Curtains for the U.S.A.

    Why am I wearing Robert Reich’s jacket?

  20. Y.M.C.A.

  21. “Did I remember to turn off the curling iron before I came downstairs?”

  22. “Damn! Here too? Can’t a brother do anything without bein’ hassled by The Man?”

  23. “How did Joe Biden’s hand get behind me in the painting?”

  24. “Honestly, Officer. I work here.”

  25. “Maybe I can get Bill Ayers to stomp all over this thing in a photograph too.”

  26. Well this thing has died like Britney Spears’ career.

  27. pics of that evil fraud do not inspire my funny

    they only anger me

  28. pics of that evil fraud do not inspire my funny

    they only anger me

    You can tell me all about it when we are sharing a cell at the Hopey-Changey gulag.

  29. “Hit me baby one more time!”

  30. My Air Force Ones look JUST like this flyin around New York City. VRRRROOOOOOOOMM!!!!!!1111!!1!

  31. alternate Strangelove tossup:

    “If the pilot’s good, see, I mean if he’s reeeally sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low… oh you oughta see it sometime. It’s a sight. A big plane like a ‘747… varrrooom! Its jet exhaust… frying chickens in the barnyard!”

  32. “Damn, I make this look good.”

  33. “Where did I drop that condom? No way I’m having skin-to-skin contact with that skinny bitch Nancy Pelosi. I might take one for the team, but damn…not that!”

  34. “God damn Monica! Bill was right about you.”

  35. “Rev. Wright was right. This is easy!”

  36. Dinner tonight is grilled ham & cheese. Yum

    That picture=why I don’t consult the majority about how to live my life.

  37. I’m bored

  38. “Another pose or two, and the deception will be complete.”

  39. Dinner tonight will be chopped romaine, tomatoes, pickle, black olives, chicken breast, and shredded cheese topped with homemade balsmic/redwine Iti dressing.

  40. Yum.

  41. Dinner tonight will be whatever I can scrounge up in the pantry.

  42. we are having Sonic

  43. We had beef stew, salad, strawberries, and whole wheat french bread.

  44. oh that sounds so good nicedeb

  45. Anyone else have teenage boys? My two are about to drive me insane.

  46. we are having Sonic

    Yum. I haven’t had Sonic in forever.

  47. Your dinner sounded great. I would love to have grilled cheese and tomato soup.

  48. I have an 18 yr old Folly, but he’s a great kid.

  49. “The motherfucking chickens have come home to roost, you cracker motherfuckers!”

  50. “Adulation-check, crown-check, pose-check. Hey guy’s, um, how about we skip the next step in the, um, process and proceed directly to the post-ressurection worship? Specifically the part where you start building my church. Yeah Simon Peter–I’m looking at you.”

  51. Sonic kicks ass i usually get the chili dog.

  52. Thats what I am having w/tator tots.

  53. “so that’s what a sonic burger looks like about 45 minutes later”

  54. I have an 18 yr old Folly, but he’s a great kid.

    What was he like at 13 and 14?

  55. “What’s a brother got to do to get a motherfucking toothbrush around here?”

    “God damn, remind me to not order in from Sonic again, crackers love sonic, sheeet”

  56. It’s the girls who’ll drive you crazy at that age. Boys drive you nuts when they’re little.

  57. http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/04/26/Teacher-no-fan-of-frisky-gerbil-painting/UPI-91721240768305/

    Pikers.

    As for the Caption:
    “Now that Michelle’s away for the weekend, I can wear the crown.”

  58. “Michelle! Get the motherfucking mop and bucket, that sonic burger didn’t sit well and I motherfucking blew it all over the floor, can’t barely stand, gotta hold on to these here curtains.” “Michelle! Where the FUCK is that mop!”

  59. It’s the girls who’ll drive you crazy at that age. Boys drive you nuts when they’re little.

    These two are enough to drive me straight into AA.

  60. “No, honey, just ’cause Daddy likes to wear Mommy’s crown, it doesn’t mean he’s gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

  61. “”What was he like at 13 and 14?””

    He was pretty good, his older brother was kinda rebellious, nothing too serious but then again I’m not an overly tolerant father either. The bullshit starts and I’m not one to hold my opinion in.

  62. “”It’s the girls who’ll drive you crazy at that age. Boys drive you nuts when they’re little.””

    Exactly Deb, I was at a loss with the girls at that age, all I had to do with the boys was remember my own childhood. The boys are 10 yrs apart though and were not getting into trouble at the same time. The girls are only 2 years apart.

  63. Thats what I am having w/tator tots.

    mmmmmmmm, gotta have the tots.

    Hard to believe teenage girls would be more trouble than boys.

  64. Boys, upon reaching puberty, will attempt to find out how strong the pack leader is by breaking pack protocols. Usually if the Alpha bares their fangs the young will back down. If not, a short sharp bite to the posterior may be required.

  65. although, now that i think about it, a lot of the girls i knew in high school were on the pill. so i guess there’s that to worry about.

  66. Teenagers are hell. And you’re usually blessed w/ at least one that was just like you 😉

  67. I.am.not.a.crook.

  68. Hafta go wash my dishes before ass-crack’s head explodes. BRB.

  69. sohos?

  70. FiFi?

  71. Well my 13 yr old daughter just came in all happy b/c the boy she likes broke up with his girlfriend….HELP! (7th grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

  72. AND NOW she has to call ALL of her friends.

  73. Yes BiBi?

  74. ” Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!!!!!!!!11111111!!!!!!!!1111111!!1″

  75. I’ve been thinking and, well, I think sohito needs to be feminized to sohita.

    It’s like calling you chico instead of chica.

  76. Hehehehehehehehe!

    Somebody needs to find me an evil bitch smiley.

    I would just like to announce that there is sweet, sweet justice in this world. Ass-crack just got a dose of her own dished back.

  77. go on

  78. yes, continue

  79. go on

    Me?

    Ok.

    Ass-crack likes to pull this thing where she gets all stoic and blank when you bitch about something, or when you tell her something’s a problem. Much like you just announced the end of the world in Aramaic. As in, “Ass-crack there’s no internet this weekend which kinda sucks” and her response is this blank barbie stare. Anyway, she was whinging b/c she has to pay $300 to hold her spot in grad school. I just stood there and stared at her.

  80. What happened, Tats?

  81. Yes, yes, I know it’s not a big thing. But it was still cathartic.

  82. Stupid slow typing.

  83. niiiiiiiiiiice

  84. It’s doubly nice b/c her parents pay for 95% of her bills, so her coming up w/ $300 is not some huge deal.

  85. how does she get on with the kids?

    from how you describe Ass-crack, she seems socially dysfunctional.

  86. Do they make “husky-sized” jeans for young boys anymore?

  87. Why do you ask, Chief? Do we need to call Chris Hansen?

  88. changed and thanks Bibi

  89. Sean after his night out with Brad.

  90. Thats awesome Tat

  91. Sean – Just curious. Had a childhood buddy, now a lawyer, who wore them.

  92. how does she get on with the kids?

    from how you describe Ass-crack, she seems socially dysfunctional.

    I’m sure she’s ok w/ her friends, and keep in mind that you’re hearing all the bad (altho there’s not all that much good).

    She’s boring as an instructor, and uses ‘kay in place of um, and uses it like O! w/o his buddy teleprompter. Have you ever met one of those people that just never gets excited, about anything? That’s her. Add in the fact that she cannot/willnot make a decision about something and it gets to be a huge pain in the ass.

  93. Do they make “husky-sized” jeans for young boys anymore?

    That’s all they do make. My kids are skinny and it’s hard to find slim.

  94. Thats awesome Tat

    Thanks Sohos, I thought so too. Keeping in mind that it’s the little things.

  95. What do you do tat? I keep picturing you in the middle of nowhere kind of doing a shelley duvall shining type thing for some reason.

  96. My two are just hell on wheels. Of course, they have no real male role model.

  97. Forged,
    Did you see the race yesterday?

    Hi Tattoo, Folly, Sohitos.

  98. What do you do tat?

    Naturalist=enviro ed at a residential (2.5 day overnight stay) environmental learning center.

    doing a shelley duvall shining type thing for some reason.

    As for this, not catching the reference.

  99. Hi Vmax.

  100. Keeping in mind that it’s the little things.

    You are a smart woman!

  101. Hi Vmax!!!!!!!!

  102. Howdy Vmax!

  103. Forged,
    Did you see the race yesterday?

    Yeah, can’t miss talladega. Kesolowski is going to be pretty succesful in the next few years, you can just tell he’s one of those guys that has it.

    As for this, not catching the reference.

    It’s always cold and you’re out in the woods a lot. Reminds me of Duvall running from Nicholson in the shining

  104. Folly- What do your boys love more than anything TV, GameBoy, books, etc.? Explain to them that whatever privileges they have are on the line.

    With my teen, it was his computer, then later, his car. Suitable behavior was articulated and I explained that behavior outside of what was expected would result in the removal of their favorite thing for a specified time. Follow through has to be 100 percent.

    Free advice to be thrown away, at no cost, if deemed unworthy.

  105. Umm guys, I’m gonna admit something here that might be a bit shocking, so brace yourselves.

    I’ve never seen the Shining.

    I know, I know, but what can I say.

  106. Tat doesn’t know about Shelly Duvall in “The Shining?”

    BAN HER!!!

  107. all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

  108. No TV and no beer make Homer something something…

  109. Boys, upon reaching puberty, will attempt to find out how strong the pack leader is by breaking pack protocols. Usually if the Alpha bares their fangs the young will back down. If not, a short sharp bite to the posterior may be required.

    YES! When the kids were little, I was the ‘bad cop’. I set and put the fear of God in ’em. At puberty, I was very grateful to be able to hand the reigns of the boy over to Mr. Beasn for some things. Kids need their dads.

    My two are just hell on wheels. Of course, they have no real male role model.

    If their grandpas or uncles aren’t around to guide them into manhood, Folly, try and think like a man. It is so tough for single moms who don’t have the fathers to tag team with, but they have to know who is boss. Always have boundaries and immediate, no-nag consequences for when they are breached. And learn whatever they are interested in…hoops, hockey, video games, etc.

  110. Tat doesn’t know about Shelly Duvall in “The Shining?”

    BAN HER!!!

    Hey now, no need to get carried away.

  111. xbrad, where the hell have you been the last couple of days?

    I don’t recall giving you a weekend pass.

  112. HEEEEEEEEEEEERE’S JOHNNY!

  113. redrum redrum redrum redrum redrum redrum

  114. redrum

  115. I’ve never seen the Shining.

    Neither have I, as I’m not a King fan.

  116. Ok guys, I know some of the pop-culture references, but I’ve never seen it.

  117. Do you remember this reference from the Shining?

    “Ok Danny, hold this bag of dog shit and wait for the Blood Monsters to scream”.

  118. Next one to comment on this thread has to polish Rosetta’s big-ass head.

  119. Brewfan has a red baboon’s ass.

  120. Rosetta and Brad…just got the email….is Brad Sox?

  121. Hello

  122. Awww, dammit

  123. I have never seen a John Wayne movie

  124. Am I Sox? No.

    Sox is really my cat. And Sox really does comment here. Though I suspect he has a little help from one of the regulars at Ace’s place.

  125. Brewfan has a red baboon’s ass.

    And you know this how?

  126. You just got the email? From me? I can’t recall that I’ve ever sent you an email, much less recently…

  127. And Bart, I said polish his head, not his knob. Ok?

  128. I haven’t watched any of The Matrix, Harry Potter, or Pirates/Carribbean movies.

  129. or any X-Men movies

  130. hahahah! Sock puppet FAIL!!!!

  131. I’ve never watched anything with Paul Newman in it all the way through.

  132. Is anyone willing to sacrifice for the group and say something funny?

  133. James Spader’s screen presence sickens me.

  134. I have never seen a John Wayne movie

    Ok, I’m not that bad, I just don’t like the vast majority.

    I’ve never watched anything with Paul Newman in it all the way through.

    I have, but if you ask me which one, I’ll have to do some digging.

  135. Mare, you wanna wrestle?

  136. Sorry, Mare, I’m all out of funneh. That’s why I was MIA this weekend.

  137. I enjoyed Bubba Ho-Tep.

  138. I’m not a Stephen King fan but the Shining is one of the scariest damn movies ever. Dingling I can’t believe you’ve never seen those movies. What the hell is wrong with you?

    Sohos, you’ve never seen “The Alamo?”

  139. they look really stupid, Folly

  140. “Mare, you wanna wrestle?”

    With kittens.

  141. Rosetta, I’ll give you a buck if you tell me the funniest thing that happened to you today.

  142. Hi Xbrad.

  143. hahahaha

    MAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!111111111!!!!!11

  144. Top 3 Newman?

    Hmm. Cool Hand Luke. The Hustler. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. The Verdict.

    I mean, I liked the Color of Money, but thought the Hustler was much better.

    Hud was pretty good too.

    anybody remember what Luke got arrested for?

  145. ok that was four. or five.

    Wayne? Too many to choose from.

  146. I think probably my least favorite Duke movie was “The Hellfighters”

  147. OK, dinner. See you tards in a hour or so.

  148. There should be a continual loop of John Wayne movies on the “I’m a Man” station.

  149. hellfighters was pretty fucking dumb

    what’s the one with the little asian kid?

  150. I watched HP under protest, only the 1st Matrix, all three X-men but wasn’t super impressed, and thoroughly pissed off by the third Pirates.

  151. No. I think that was the Green Berets.

  152. xbrad, don’t forget your bib!

  153. Mesa’s ex-girlfriend made a video:

  154. Oops

  155. I meant to put the link up

  156. I liked Wayne in most of his westerns, his war movies were not so great

  157. Dude, Folly got a video to embed in the comments. When did that happen?

    Folly, are you sure that’s Mesa’s chickie ‘cuz it looks a lot like Rosie?

  158. I liked Wayne in most of his westerns, his war movies were not so great

    I don’t particularly like Wayne in most of his movies, and I absolutely hate The Quiet Man.

  159. Mare, you wanna wrestle?

    With kittens.

    I don’t know what that means but okay.

    Rosetta, I’ll give you a buck if you tell me the funniest thing that happened to you today.

    This morning, one of the midgets got out of my basement and before I could capture him with the net, he let the tiger out of the cage and the tiger ate all my llamas.

  160. Dude, Folly got a video to embed in the comments. When did that happen?

    Folly, are you sure that’s Mesa’s chickie ‘cuz it looks a lot like Rosie?

    I have no idea how I did that. I figured it was Mesa’s girl just ’cause of the red hair and psychotic look.

  161. “I don’t know what that means but okay.”

    When you think of kittens, don’t you think of sweet, precious, soft, cute, cuddly, bundles of happiness?

    Go to Home Depot immediately and get the stronger link chain. FOOL!

  162. In my hometown, it’s very bad manners to eat llamas without first saying grace.

  163. Rosetta, did you feel like punching anyone in the face today? (besides the midget)

  164. You don’t know, pajama llama.

  165. PJM is Amish, PJM is Amish!!!

  166. My Amish comment went into the spam bucket.

    What did your family do for your birthday, PJM?

  167. Mesa’s ex-girlfriend made a video:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    So..um…is she liking the mack daddy or not? Psychotic much?

  168. ouch!
    That is scary

  169. test comment

  170. Hah! SWEET!!!!!!

  171. Hair like the lunch lady. That was freakin’ hilarious.

  172. Bib?

    Look, I’m wearing a shirt. That serves as a bib. And shorts. As a nod to the social graces.

  173. I love that video PJM.

  174. Embedding videos in the comments will be sure to speed up the loading of the thread.

    *eyes shoot out of head*

    *eyes roll across the floor*

  175. Hey rosetta, wanna go protest Obamallama when he comes to Fox High School in Arnold, with me?

  176. *eyes shoot out of head*

    *eyes roll across the floor*

    Quitchyer bitchin’ and get another post ready. That way when this one slows down, we’ll have one ready to go.

  177. I absolutely hate The Quiet Man.

    Gasp! The Quiet Man is in my top 5 favorites.

    “The Conqueror” – now that was a movie that sucked big time and was lethal to boot.

  178. It doesn’t slow down the loading of the thread for me, Rosetta. Maybe you should get something other than that 286 you have.

  179. I’d love to see Rosetta and porknbeanaananans holding signs outside a high school protesting Obama.

  180. Hi mare!! Well I was on cursillo on my actual birthday, but when I got home, the kids had a surprise party set up for me. It was sweet. They threw candy at me. Graham threw it so hard I thought he broke my tooth……..but it was good.

  181. Rosetta, did you feel like punching anyone in the face today? (besides the midget)

    My face-to-face interaction with other people was nil today as I worked from my home office so no one irritated me and ended up getting punched. Tomorrow is another day however.

    How about you? Stab any dumbasses today?

  182. Gasp! The Quiet Man is in my top 5 favorites.

    That movie’s crap.

  183. Half the fun of the Quiet Man is wondering what the hell Maureen O’Hara was so pissed about throughout the entire thing.

  184. PJM, I think you have something in your eye.

  185. “”Maybe you should get something other than that 286 you have.””

    HEH

  186. I never seen The Quiet Man.

  187. “Half the fun of the Quiet Man is wondering what the hell Maureen O’Hara was so pissed about throughout the entire thing”

    She was wrapped pretty tightly. That was the point.

  188. I’ve never watched anything with Paul Newman in it all the way through.

    not even Butch and Sundance?

  189. The other half the fun of The Quiet Man is touching yourself in the swimsuit area while looking at a pissed off Maureen Ohara.

  190. Holy shit! We can emmbed videos in comments? Oh goody goody goody goody ggoody

    must resist urge to go nuts with this startling development

  191. oh yeah, HAPPY BELATED B-DAY PJM !!

  192. I think they were having fun with Irish stereotypes.

    I know. Crazy theory.

  193. Yeah Forged we can but Rosetta’s squirrel driven computer may crash if you do.

  194. ” Graham threw it so hard I thought he broke my tooth……..but it was good.”

    I like the kid’s enthusiasm! hahahahahaha

    “How about you? Stab any dumbasses today?”

    The reason you work at home and I don’t work is to ensure our separation from general society. I went to the beach to read and got side tracked watching some douche bag try to work up the nerve to talk to a girl out of his league. She got up and left and I laughed.

  195. Tat, to each their own. I happen to think matchmaking, overly protective big brothers, and drunken Irishmen are funny as hell.

  196. Quitchyer bitchin’ and get another post ready. That way when this one slows down, we’ll have one ready to go.

    YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!!!!!

  197. I went to the beach to read and got side tracked watching some douche bag try to work up the nerve to talk to a girl out of his league. She got up and left and I laughed.

    You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

  198. Yeah Forged we can but Rosetta’s squirrel driven computer may crash if you do.

    Yes, i’m trying to calm myself down. This just might be the greatest in the history of ever though

  199. The reason you work at home and I don’t work is to ensure our separation from general society. I went to the beach to read and got side tracked watching some douche bag try to work up the nerve to talk to a girl out of his league. She got up and left and I laughed.

    Hahahaha. You’re eveeeeeel. That’s why I like you.

  200. It rubs the lotion on its skin…

  201. Noooooo pattyfingers, if you please!

  202. not even Butch and Sundance?

    Nope.

  203. Hey PJMomma,

    BLBLBLBLBLBL

    That is ‘Happy Birthday’ in unicorn.

  204. Tat, to each their own.

    Fine, be all reasonable about it Romy.

  205. If it makes any of you feel better, he was the type that wore a lot of jewelry, took waaaay too much time putting lotion on his chest (wimpy), had his hair done (instead of barbered) and kept standing up to get a better look at her bod….too obvious and creepy.

  206. <i<blblblblblblblblbll

  207. forged,

    Part of the fun of your DJing is having to click the link and being surprised at what comes up.

    youTube forcing that FUCKING banner on everything spoils some of the fun when you embed the videos.

    Just sayin’

  208. blblblblblblblblbll

  209. Kittens!
    But they grow up into cats.

  210. Darling your vid didn’t work, however, I’ve seen it before and it’s so cute I can’t handle it. Your stock just went up 100 points in my book.

  211. had his hair done (instead of barbered)

    What’s the difference? Like a spike cut or something ala whatshisname on the food network?

  212. Awww, baby kitty

  213. youTube forcing that FUCKING banner on everything spoils some of the fun when you embed the videos.

    I’m doing my best to exercise some self control.

  214. Dated a guy for a short while who was a complete opposite of me in terms of movies. I hate slasher pics, so what did we see? Dawn of the Dead. Yeah, thats a real date movie.

  215. blblblblblblblblbll

    Burl, surprisingly that’s only your 34th worst comment ever.

  216. A guy who uses gel AND hairspray is thinking too much about his hair. He was at the beach.

  217. I liked Wayne in most of his westerns, his war movies were not so great

    You didn’t like ‘In Harm’s Way’ or ‘They Were Expendable’???

    You’re secretly a communist, aren’t you?

  218. I’m doing my best to exercise some self control.

    Hahahaha. I can tell you better get out the methadone.

  219. Rosetta, my parent’s “song” is You Belong to Me sung by none other than Dean Martin.

    Dad is 90, Mom is 84. SWEET folks.

  220. Dawn of the Dead’s not a slasher pic, it’s a zombie movie. Zombie movies are cool.

  221. BiW
    I did not like The Sands of Iwo Jima or a few others they were not realistic.
    I love the Duke and watched them all but the war movies were meh

  222. A guy who uses gel AND hairspray is thinking too much about his hair. He was at the beach.

    Ok, so if I dated, I’d refuse to date any dude that spent more time in the bathroom than I do. Given the amount of friggin’ hair that I have to blow-dry on occasion, that’s actually a decent amount of time.

  223. Ok, so if I dated, I’d refuse to date any dude that spent more time in the bathroom than I do. Given the amount of friggin’ hair that I have to blow-dry on occasion, that’s actually a decent amount of time.

    Ditto.

  224. Oh, and Romy, if you don’t mind my asking, how old are you?

  225. Dad is 90, Mom is 84. SWEET folks.

    How could they not be sweet, Mare? I mean, really.

    And that’s a great song. Dino RULES!!!

    I notice that in this video he’s writing a letter to Burl. WTF?

  226. p.s. he didn’t hear me laugh

  227. A guy who uses gel AND hairspray is thinking too much about his hair

    Ahh. I can’t recall ever putting anything in my hair. Don’t even use a hairdryer, towel it brush it good to go.

  228. Rosetta 10,000 POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  229. “Ahh. I can’t recall ever putting anything in my hair. Don’t even use a hairdryer, towel it brush it good to go.”

    That is as it should be. Do you go to a barber shop to get your hair cut?

  230. Kittens!
    But they grow up into cats.

    I love cats. I have 5 of them.

  231. “I notice that in this video he’s writing a letter to Burl. WTF?”

    For some reason, I just got that. hahahahahahahaha

  232. Ouch, but I want some.

  233. Rosetta 10,000 POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YAY ME!

    Mare, give me three unrelated and funny nouns. We need a new header pic.

  234. Tat, because I seem to be a glutton for punishment, I will ask “how old do you think I am?” Other Hostages are invited to heap abuse upon me and guess my age as well.

    Change slasher pics to slasher/zombie/gory movies, then.

  235. Do you go to a barber shop to get your hair cut?

    Yeah, but i don’t know what kind of cut i actually get. He just asks how short i want it and then lops it off.

  236. I dunno Romy. I suck at the whole age thing. I was gonna chuck you in the between 35-45 range where most of the others seem to fit, but for some reason when you mentioned that movie I started thinking younger.

  237. Alabama

    dog turds

    Crocks

  238. I’m gonna do just one embedded vid so i can experience the thrill. How do you do it?

  239. Forged, some guys go to salon and get it “styled,” which in theory is okay it’s just usually the guys that do that are too into their own looks.

    Hence the comment, “had his hair done (instead of barbered).”

  240. My Grandpa is 105!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    nice Dean Martin Rosetta

    My Dad was 20 years older than me he would have been 68

  241. Crocks?

    Do you mean the shoe or the animal?

  242. Romy is 52 years young!

  243. Forged
    no guide 1x a week for me

  244. Wow. Romy is 35 years younger than MCPO.

  245. What kind of person uses the word “hence?”

    Vmax, when I can I will toast to your 105 year old grandpa! Well done!

  246. I would like to give a huge, hearty FOAD to every outdoor clothing company that seems to think that chicks over a size 12 don’t play outside. Seriously, Fuck OFF!!!

  247. <embed id=”VideoPlayback” src=”http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=3528549540175949475&hl=en&fs=true” style=”width:400px;

  248. Oh, and Comcast can lick my salty bawls!!!

  249. Shoe

  250. no wait Grandpa was born on Dec 24 1903
    Is he 106?

  251. but either will do

  252. <embed id=”VideoPlayback” src=”http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=3528549540175949475&hl=en&fs=true” style=”width:400px;

    Hahahahaha!!!!!

    EMBED VIDEO OF FARM PORN FAIL!!!!!!

  253. <param name=”movie”

  254. Epic Fail there FR!!

  255. heh dammit

  256. Mare,
    Grandpa has outlived 2 of his 3 sons. Had a stroke 2 years ago and completely recovered!

    He moved here from Scotland in 1919.

  257. White snake – is this LoveUploaded by Makoto_Shishio

  258. i give up

  259. Link Worked Forged Embed Fail

  260. Rosetta 10,000 POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WTF????

    I put up the two funniest header pics since the Hostage Grrrrrlllls (This one, and the one before it), and I give us a caption contest for the Obamessiah for us all to mock the blessed one, and you are giving points to ROSETTA????

    *marches off in a huff*

  261. Let’s all get together to watch Tattoo make Groundhog sausage.

  262. White snake – is this LoveUploaded by Makoto_Shishio

  263. heheheh

  264. didn’t work for me either forged

  265. MCPO, ouch! (Well, I asked for it!)

  266. BiW – Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

  267. Hence the comment, “had his hair done (instead of barbered).”

    Wussies, girley-men and bart “get their hair done”

    The rest of us go to a barber. My barber in Flint was named Dick. We called it “Getting Dicked.”

  268. Vmax, my dad’s family is Irish (black Irish) blue eyes and black hair. His mother was German. My mom is Norwegian and Slovak when you get that broad mix of genes (like a peasant) you get some tough genes.

    I’d love to hear more about your grandpa’s background, work, what not.

  269. Pretties

  270. Thanks porky and TGSG!!

  271. Romy – you said the photo of you was when you were 26 – half a lifetime ago. Even I could do that math! So, you are really 32???

  272. BiW, because of your hilarious outrage, I have resisted giving you the coveted points.

    (although, I loved the last header picture)

  273. Yay, you did it forged.

  274. Woohoo!

  275. The rest of us go to a barber.

    My wife cuts mine in the garage.

  276. FR – What was the “secret”?

  277. BiW, all I can think of for a caption is something in a James Brown voice. Like that routine of Eddie Murphy’s:
    James Brown: “Hey!”
    Back-up singer: “Yeah!”
    James Brown: “Zapfdobbusket!”
    Back-up singer: “Yeah!”
    James Brown: “Mafigojofeter heh!”
    Back-up singer: “Yeah!”
    Other back-up singer: “What’s James saying?”
    “I don’t know, I’m just saying yeah!”

  278. Those puppies in the new header picture are obviously being trained by a small subversive group to kill and maim white people (who wear Crocks).

    Those puppies are Killers!

  279. Okay Mare. New header photo. Semi-related to your suggestions.

  280. Hah. “You Belong to Me”.

    My old band (60s, 70s 80s cover band) did that one for my mom and dad back in 2000, was their 46th anniversary. I’d forgotten Martin recorded it too.

    He was better than me, but he didn’t play guitar AND sing, he just drank and sang. Which I did too.

  281. My wife cuts mine in the garage.

    Well, if you ever get your incontence taken care of, she might let you come inside! Think of it as a goal to aspire to!

  282. FR – What was the “secret”?

    I don’t know. I did the same thing each time, maybe it works with some videos and not others.

  283. MCPO, the POL picture was last June. The other picture, I was 18.

  284. Oh, and another thing! Shakespeare was wrong, we should kill all of the dentists first!

  285. Romy is 41.

  286. Dave in Texas has an extensively used rubber arm.

  287. The other picture, I was 18.

    Madame, I sit corrected. My most sincere apologies. Let me just say that you were hot at 18 and you are still quite the number!

  288. “Oh, and another thing! Shakespeare was wrong, we should kill all of the dentists first!”

    hahahahaha

    (But we still get to kill lawyers too….right?)

  289. Folly wins!

  290. Oh, and another thing! Shakespeare was wrong, we should kill all of the dentists first!

    ANTI-DENTITE!!!!

  291. Dave in Texas has an extensively used rubber arm.

    But now that he can see what you’ve done with it, he’ll stop asking you to give it back.

  292. Sadly, I have to get my hair cut at a “Supercuts” these days. There aren’t any barbers within a reasonable distance. And I’ll admit, I get the shampoo as well as the haircut, since the little Vietnamese lady gives good “head” if you will.

  293. (But we still get to kill lawyers too….right?)

    You really think you can catch me?

  294. Mare – of course! Except we’ll leave “our” lawyers ’til last!

  295. Mare
    As far as I know Grandpa was from the clan of Ross he lived in Clydesbank Scotland.

    When I showed him Braveheart he knew what it was about and hated the catholic’s, I wondered why my dad did not like catholic’s. Dad did not pss it on to me, but Grandpa upon seeing that movie told me about all of my relatives that died because of the fight depicted in that movie.

    Interestingly my mom’s family came from London in 1916

  296. xbrad, why don’t you set your hair on fire? That way you won’t have to mess with it.

  297. Brad, I looked forever to find a barber who uses a straight razor on the back of my neck and a hot towel, but I found one.

  298. Supercuts is definitely allowed under “I’m a Man” rules.

    I love to get a head massage. (shut your whore mouths)

  299. You really think you can catch me?

    You really think you can outrun a .300WinMag?

  300. Sadly, I have to get my hair cut at a “Supercuts” these days. There aren’t any barbers within a reasonable distance. And I’ll admit, I get the shampoo as well as the haircut, since the little Vietnamese lady gives good “head” if you will.

    I get mine cut at Supercuts. Every expensive salon I’ve been to has jacked up my hair.

    Mare – of course! Except we’ll leave “our” lawyers ’til last!

    Thanks, MC. I’m feeling the love.

  301. The next time I hafta go to the dentist, I’m eating a half a bag of Oreos just before I leave the house. Fuck ’em!

  302. I think we have the most lawyers here per capita than any other funny blog. Notice I said funny.

  303. My nightly Max pic
    DSC_4905
    I hope to hear from the rescue this week

    If not I am prepared to really really really badmouth them

  304. Vmax, his hatred kept him alive…….just kidding!

  305. The next time I hafta go to the dentist, I’m eating a half a bag of Oreos just before I leave the house. Fuck ‘em!

    hahahahahahh

  306. the little Vietnamese lady gives good “head” if you will.

    The following is a presentation of The Rosetta Community Theater:

    xbrad: I would like a little off the top please.

    little Vietnamese lady: OH SODIER BOY!! OH YOU HAVE GIRLFRIEND?!

    xbrad: Listen, just give me the wash and the cut so I can get out of here.

    little Vietnamese lady: OH ME SHAMPOO YOU LONG TIME!!

    Fin.

  307. I have a 300 weatherby mag
    The win is good too

  308. Rosie, I’ve got some of the thickest hair on the planet. On my head. That would be quite the fire.

    I haven’t had it cut in a while. Now that I don’t have to look good at the office all the time, I let it go to hell.

  309. Vmax, that is a great picture of Max. Is that a lime or a ball?

    Rosetta, hahahahahaah

  310. MCPO, is your dentist like mine where they try to sell you extras? I refused to watch an infomercial for oral cancer screening, refused the tooth sealer, refused the fluoride treatment, and won’t buy the electric toothbrush. Dammit!

  311. On the count of three, everybody open your front door, and, at the top of your lungs yell, NO, ROSETTA!!! THAT IS A BAD TOUCH!!!!

  312. It is a green orange Mare

  313. My 90 year old dad has a thick full head of hair. Didn’t get grey on the sides until he was about 70.

  314. On the count of three, everybody open your front door, and, at the top of your lungs yell, NO, ROSETTA!!! THAT IS A BAD TOUCH!!!!

    Hahahahahaha.

    Stupid swimsuit area!!

  315. Cut first, then wash. I hate having hair clippings scratching me the rest of the day.

  316. Romy – No. I had a periodontal cleaning today and an exam. Feels like they scraped my sinus cavities. My head seriously hurts.

    No, I’m going to puff on a cowboy killer – BRB

  317. It is a green orange Mare

    Oranges aren’t green, silly Vmax. Oranges are orange 😉

  318. ME SHAMPOO YOU LONG TIME!!!

    hahahahaha.

    Had to explain that one to Mr. RFH, too.

  319. Who said PJM could drink without us?

  320. I’m with Mare, I like have my scalp massaged.

  321. Bud Ice never lets me down, got a buzz after one beer. Wonder what the alcohol content of these are?

  322. Your avatar looks buzzed too.

  323. I’m off to bed. Goodnight all.

  324. Sweet dreams, Folly.

  325. heheheh
    Tattoo
    They turn orange in november / december

    They are green until then
    did you see my itty bitty oranges
    DSC_1306
    They will be big for Christmas

  326. 5.5% according to the innertubes.

  327. G’night, Miss Folly. Take this good thought with you, “You die last.”

  328. Your avatar looks buzzed too.

    Heh

  329. I’m with Mare, I like have my scalp massaged.

    My scalp, my back, my feet, my legs, my arms, my …um…, etc.

  330. G’night, Folly.

  331. Tattoo
    They turn orange in november / december

    They are green until then

    Heretic, I refuse to believe you! Oranges are orange. My grocery store says so!

  332. nite Folly.

  333. My scalp, my back, my feet, my legs, my arms, my …um…, etc.

    BREASTESES!!!!

  334. “Rosetta, did you touch this woman in the swimsuit area?”

    What? Hey. HEY!!!! I COULDN’T HELP IT!!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/dy6v9v

  335. Tropicana pays by sugar content, in he early season you can make money by shipping green oranges to them. Or late in the season all the oranges are sweet and the price drops. Gotta time it right.

    I only have 3 trees. When I was a kid Dad had 10 acres of oranges. He used to make 2k-4k a year / acre

  336. I have a sneaky feeling I’m gonna haul in a bountiful cornucopia of trolls with my kinda provocative memeorandum-linked headline >”Obama Tortures 9/11 Victims.”</a

    They’re already showing up. Feel free to wack away!

  337. G’nite Folly.

  338. poke im in the eye Cuffy

    Good night Folly

    I am calling it a night too.

    nita all

  339. Romy – Do you read all of the comments to Mr. RFH??

  340. Re: Obama terrorizing Manhattan:

    This douche’s presidency is less like the black guy on 24 and more like

    The Flying None.

    Posted by: Rev. Dr. E. Buzz Miller at April 27, 2009 09:04 PM (XZS9v)

  341. I think Romy just has to explain why she suddenly breaks out in maniacal laughter. Otherwise, it’s a trip to the funny farm for her.

  342. I too, am off to bed. Night.

  343. Oh hell no. I don’t think he would appreciate 5% of what goes on here.

    No, I just have to explain when I laugh out loud. Some just don’t translate, though.

  344. ‘Night Tattoo. When will the Groundhog sausage be ready?

  345. XBrad, I’ve been ready for the funny farm for a while.
    http://tinyurl.com/cehxnp

  346. nite Vmax, Tat.

  347. Night, Vmax, Tat. Am I the only one suspicious that just after a discussion of oranges and massages you two disappear at the same time?

  348. Cuffy,

    That’s a brilliant post. Well done. And I left a comment for your troll.

    Rectum? Damn near killed ’em!!

  349. b-rad – How you doing tonight?

  350. Better, MPCO. But no funneh. I’m trying like hell to come up with something, anything remotely funneh on any topic, here or elsewhere.

    I got nuttin’.

  351. B-rad – We’re all praying and wishing all the best for you. “The Lord will provide.”

  352. I didn’t like the Hellfighters either, Dave.

    Tattoo, I’d slap forged upside his pointy head for that just on general principles. Shelley Duvall is ugly.

  353. I know He will, MCPO, I just get a little frustrated that he doesn’t always publish the POD in a timely manner.

  354. “Rectum? Damn near killed ‘em!!”

    My husband loves that line.

  355. Yes, Cuffy, well done. Someone could have photoshopped whatever was done for a lot less grief.

  356. Or, they could have had the news the night before just announce the Air Force was doing a flyby. That would have calmed a lot of people down.

  357. BTW – Pluck is a serial shitter on BlackFive’s site.

  358. Cuffy, you have a great site. Pluck is a weak troll (darn it).

  359. XBrad, the only time I watch the news is when a tornado front comes through.

    It would have warned some, at least, but ya gotta remember, it’s all about HIM.

  360. Let’s hold LauraW down and shave her head tomorrow.

  361. Romy, the point being, if there’s 9 people in an office about to panic, and the 10th saw it on TV the night before, panic averted.

  362. is rosetta now a director?

    http://animal.discovery.com/tv/chimp-eden/chimp-eden.html

  363. Alrighty then. . . I’m outta here.

  364. Not some of the people I work with. I had a secretary who ran around turning off the lights during thunderstorms because she thought they attracted lightning.

  365. night chief

  366. Hey, you can’t leave, MCPO, until you do your goodbyes to three different groups.

  367. Sweet dreams, C3PO!

  368. did we find out how old forged is?

  369. G’nite, MCPO.

    Good one, sohita!

  370. sohita – Dulces suenos, mi novia rubia.

  371. sleep well my new ruby?

    My Spanish sucks.

  372. Not some of the people I work with. I had a secretary who ran around turning off the lights during thunderstorms because she thought they attracted lightning.

    You work with people that stupid, and I’m unemployed.

    **facepalm**

  373. Rosetta, speaking of Crocks (read the whole thing):

    http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion

  374. me too xbrad but I guess in my case I am lucky considering my situation.

  375. I just think escape to chimp eden is teh funniest

  376. “Hey, you can’t leave, MCPO, until you do your goodbyes to three different groups.”

    We were cheated.

  377. Mare I laughed through that whole tirade. excellent!

  378. Hmmmm. Looks like it’s just me and the wimmens.

    **double checks to make sure I’m wearing some pant-like coverage**

  379. chirp

  380. ok good night

  381. Hello!!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m here!!!!!!!!

    You, me, Mare and PattyAnn!!!!!

    If that isn’t exciting enough for you, well,

    UR DOIN IT RONG!!

  382. goodnight, everyone.

    Brad, everything will be okay. Believe.

  383. Sohos, his rant on Cameron Diaz is hilarious. Glad you liked it.

    PattyAnn is right, xbrad. This is when the faith kicks in high gear.

  384. Got to take my daughter to workout.

    bbl

    Goodnight to everyone in a later time zone.

  385. Can i embed a picture of the future ms. rite? Let us see……..

  386. I hear ya, brother.

  387. guess you cant embed pictures

  388. heh, tryin to embed a picture

  389. http://tinyurl.com/cchgfj

  390. well, id say that’s not gonna work

  391. Gonna try to embed one more vid from dailymotion just to see if it’ll work

    Warrant – HeavenUploaded by jpdc11

  392. nope, guess only youtube vids will work

  393. Vodpod videos no longer available.

  394. yup. guess that didn’t work.

  395. I think the future ms. rite deserves an embed

  396. i’m giddy with power

    must
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    calm
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    down

  397. Whoa there, sparky.

    I looked at doing Load HEAT on Amy Lee, but could only find a handful of photos I liked. Too bad.

  398. Dude, i saw tons of good pics

  399. Some of them were kind of goth though

  400. ‘sup, Forged.

  401. You saw tons of pics YOU liked. I got a slightly different take on things. Plus, they were just about all head shots. It would have been nice to have one or two body shots.

  402. Hey what’s up Americano? Where you been?

  403. Lurking.

  404. Just wanted to say thanks for looking out for a brother.

  405. It would have been nice to have one or two body shots.

    That’s because she has class and is saving the goods for me. See, this is sexy

  406. Just wanted to say thanks for looking out for a brother.

    I still don’t know what the problem was.

  407. Tell you what, forged, you pick out your favorite dozen of Amy Lee, email them to me, and I’ll put her up next week, along with a music video.

  408. Yeah, well I guess it’s best we not bring it up. Thanks for sticking up. And I’m glad you’re back (and, more importantly, the others appear to be equally glad, too).

  409. Did anybody ever tell you?

  410. There were some ruffled feathers. That happens among friends and family. I hope you are both too addicted to the stupid and funneh here to stay away for long.

    And as hard as Vmax tries, he just can’t do a recap like you, Americano.

  411. Vmax emailed offsite. I really don’t think we should get into it here, sensitivities being what they are.

  412. Allright, why don’t you come back too? Might as well hang out and have fun.

  413. Can you give us an update on busty Philipina divers?

  414. I’m presently more comfortable lurking, if it’s all the same. Part of the last issue was that, my douchebaggery occurred close in time to a WP meltdown. And, events of the week being what they are, there’s pretty much NO WAY I’m saying anything until people have kissed and made up with WP (not likely) or forgotten about it (even less likely).

  415. Besides, there is plenty of funny already.

  416. suit yourself. I think people miss you. When you feel comfortable, let us know.

  417. Actually, I’m teaching the hottie blonde news reporter next week. Just signed her up.

  418. Well, i won’t get into it, but like i said, i didn’t see any douchebaggery at all and don’t understand what the problem was.

  419. more than happy to send you an email or a facestupidbook chat, but other than that, it’s best to let the seriously, psychologically “in a bad place” dogs lie.

  420. forged, do you remember this one?

  421. Just wanted to say thanks, so “thanks.”

  422. Oh, and XBrad, sorry about your situation. I’m sure it will improve.

  423. Can’t get much worse.

  424. I have Americano and forged rite back on one thread?

    Best.Birthday.Present.Ever!!!

  425. well, it’s always darkest before it’s pitch fucking black.

    But then it gets better.

  426. Happy birthday. If you wish, I shall slaughter an endangered turtle for you tonite.

  427. more than happy to send you an email or a facestupidbook chat

    Allright, sent you a message on facebook

  428. If you wish, I shall slaughter an endangered turtle for you tonite.

    You da man!!

  429. **waves like a ‘tard to PJ**

    What’s up my newly recommitted to the Christian life fake internet girlfriend?

  430. forged, do you remember this one

    Oh hellz yeah, forgot who had done it though

  431. Well I sent americano a facebook email too! so there! I’m not getting left out of this.

  432. Hi b-rad darlin!! How are ya?

    I’m toooooooooooootally exhausted. It was a long 3 day plus one evening weekend.

    I’m tard.

  433. forged, I forgot as well, and had it stuck in my head for like, 5 years. finally, I googled “voices” and got a hit. That was a couple years ago. Burned a copy to mp3. Finally checked youtube.

  434. Catholic girls are hot. Have i mentioned that lately?

  435. Catholic girls are hot. Have i mentioned that lately

    HAHAHAHA! I read your thing from today a little while ago. Made me laugh out loud.

  436. Catholic girls are hot, but I had remarkable success in HS with Mormon girls rebelling.

  437. Send a few to live out of state with their “aunt” for the rest of their high school term did ya, b-rad?

  438. Uh, no. In fact, my Mormon g/f’s present to me for HER 17th birthday was to go on the pill. Of course, getting laid in HS was easy. Even for an uber-dork like me.

  439. What up phags?

  440. Uh, no. In fact, my Mormon g/f’s present to me for HER 17th birthday was to go on the pill

    ewwwwwwwwwwwww, I’m so grossed out right now.

  441. What up phags?

    nuttin phucker

  442. Busy watching Saving Grace.

    I like it because it shows you can say “Fuck” and still believe in God. Plus I’ve got a hard-on for Holly Hunter.

  443. What a difference a day makes.

    Tonight we had a charity auction for The Care House which is a home for abused children.

    600 absolutely nice people.

    NOT. FUCKING. ASSHOLE. SICILIANS.

    Did I mention that I am recently not a fan of Sicilians?

  444. My sister is Sicilian. Born in Catania.

  445. Hey!!!

    Americano is back!!!

    Good to see you, humped any underage Korean girls who just wanted a SCUBA lesson lately?

    Please say yes.

  446. Xfag, how did you put the video on the comment?

  447. I’ve been adopted by my brother’s in-laws who are just off the boat Sicilians.

    Normally I like them.

    Weren’t you around for my late night Saturday rant?

  448. I shall re-cloak (sorry Mesa), but leave XBrad with:

    Your sister’s an eggplant?

    “So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin’ with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That’s why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin.”

    See Romance, True

  449. My sister is Sicilian. Born in Catania.

    So, what are you?

  450. Catholic girls are hot.

    Yeah, if you like no sex after marriage. Shitty sex at that. A bitter divorce and then years of child support.

    Catholic girls do start much too late.

  451. Me? Scots Irish and German with touch of French, to my eternal shame. My sister is the same, but she really was born in Catania. She’s a Navy brat. Oddly, she looks and often acts Sicilian.

    I saw your Saturday rant. I sympathize. Nothing like busting your ass for bus fare.

  452. there’s pretty much NO WAY I’m saying anything until people have kissed and made up with WP (not likely) or forgotten about it

    Oh, fuck that.

    Different worlds completely.

  453. Tonight we have an MMA fight with 700, should be interesting. I’m hoping for a few crowd fights as I’m the only one out of the hundred or so that work there that could do anything about it — and enjoy it.

  454. Yeah, if you like no sex after marriage. Shitty sex at that. A bitter divorce and then years of child support.

    WRONG!!!!!!!! I’m an animal in bed…..just ask pjdaddy.

  455. I got the Irish, Scottish and German in me. And some Dutch.

    Complete mutt.

    Not one speck of Fwench, thank God.

  456. Mesa: I feel for ya. I was a bartender all through my 8 years of undergrad.

    I am a very good tipper, and I believe everyone should be, or else they should stay the fuck home.

  457. just ask pjdaddy my obstetrician.

    Yeah.

    Uh-huh.

  458. Burl will be so pleased to learn that Tinker Bell was reunited with her family:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090428/ap_on_fe_st/odd_chihuahua_touchdown

  459. PJ, I’ve known lots of women who thought they were great in bed. Very few were. Guys just don’t complain much because we know we’re lucky to get laid at all, much less laid well.

  460. And I’m sure PJM is good in the sack.

    Now, having stated my 2 fundamental beliefs, I shall retire to the beach.

  461. Amreicano, first time working in a place that has open bar.

    Free booze is my new delineator of good and evil.

    Sicilians and free booze = cheapest assholes on the planet who then become rude and start screaming for even more free shit. It was ridiculous.

    My sister in law was mortified when I talked to her — she was born there. My brother, not so much.

  462. PJ, I’ve known lots of women who thought they were great in bed.

    I’ve met PJ, I would tend to believe that she’s a complete tiger in that regard.

    Unfortunatley, shes also so fertile that you have to time your visits to the matrimonial happy place to a few times a year or end up with double octomon consequences.

  463. ?? When did you meet PJ?

  464. Bud Ice is kickin’ my ass so i’m hittin the hay. I’ll pick out some good pics of the future ms. rite and send them to you brad. later homeez

  465. I really have met PJ, and if she wasn’t the Belle of the Ball, she was certainly the Life of the Party.

    I’d hit it.

    Except PJD was there, and he’s a helluva guy as well.

  466. AMA lives!!!

    http://moralauthority.wordpress.com/2009/04/28/hope-and-fail/

    It’s time to get back to my roots and spin that place up again.

    Too much material to pass up.

  467. ?? When did you meet PJ?

    Last spring.

    I have the pictures that she’d love me to .post to prove it

  468. Where did you meet? That cheater.

  469. Heh, we burned Neptune Beach to the ground.

    She even gave me a ride back in pjdaddy’s truck.

  470. I’ve found that blogging is easy.

    But hanging at The Hostages and then finding the time to post anything on a blog? That’s hard.

  471. Don’t you remember me putting a few pictures up from that night? It was a post. Mostly just hands and feet.

  472. Oh right, I can’t link that post because some immature little fuck deleted it.

    Hey Doug — fuck you, you fucking pussy.

    YES, I AM FUCKING PISSED ABOUT THAT.

    Nice little drive by today to rub it in, as well.

  473. Oh, back when you were copying the whole IB handblogging craze…

  474. I’ve found that blogging is easy.

    I enjoyed my time as a “serious” blogger. It was cool to build an audience outside of AoS. I was amazed that anyone cared to read what I had to say, and then it became a responsibility — that I enjoyed for a while. The Hostages became fun and easy, so I gave it up. Probably a mistake.

    Maybe the world does need an irreverant conservative blogger who alos posts pictures of greasy food experiments.

  475. You all need to keep this shit down, some of us are trying to sleep. don’t make me star embedding fart videos.

  476. back when you were copying the whole IB handblogging craze…

    Yeah, wut?

    My face was already out there. We just thought it would be funny to do feet instead.

    And then this year at the IB party? Yup.

    Slackers.

  477. some of us are trying to sleep

    I thought we paid you to entertain us with late night music.

    Jump, monkey, jump!

  478. I’ve met xbrad. Twice. At least the second time, there were cute college girls there. Yeah.

  479. I got nuthin’. Bud Ice really did stomp my ass. Here’s a vid i’ve probably linked at least thre times before. I’m gonna go pass out and most likely whizz on myse;f while i sleep now

  480. Also, if you want to see a good WP spinout, check out the recent comments at AMA.

    Weird nonsensical shit on random posts from the past.

    He’s still an admin there.

    WP, if you have any regard for any of your online friends, I welcome your mea culpa at AMA.

    Otherwise, stop your talk about being a Marine. No Marine would ever act this way.

    Last word. Done.

  481. Handblogging almost turned me off of IB forever. But I choked down the bile and eventually became addicted.

    Glad I missed the feet at H1.

  482. I’ve met xbrad. Twice. At least the second time, there were cute college girls there.

    So that sex change stuff really works, huh?

  483. How are you guys puttng videos in the comments?

    Just the embed link?

  484. Geoff, the feet were in the ocean….

    Lurvely.

  485. forged, one of my favorite SG songs.

  486. Much the same here, Mesa. “Holy shit! Someone read what I wrote?”

    And yeah, the Hostages are too fun and easy to take the time to write well on a serious topic.

    I’m further handicapped in that I respond well in comments, but have a hell of a time facing a blank page.

  487. Ya’ ever start heading to the bathroom and then notice this quite attractive lithe Asian woman going a different route so you change course and follow her sort of hypnotized by her hips and then all of a sudden she turns around and starts a conversation and you have to snap out of it and act like you weren’t a complete lech?

    Yeah, me neither. Especially not this afternoon.

  488. At least the second time, there were cute college girls there.

    And only one who vomited.

  489. Actually, it was some douchebag college boy who vomited. And Sean damn near fell on his ass when he slipped on it.

  490. Actually, it was some douchebag college boy who vomited.

    Now, now, we were all douchebag spewing young men at one point in our lives.

    Many’s the completely inappropriate site I graced with my effluent.

  491. Yeah, me neither.

    No, they usaually follow me.

    *fricking firefox started blowing up my computer last week and two system restores later I’m tired of trying to find out why. IE Ex doesn’t have the nice spell check, I have to actually check my own spellllllling now — hate it.

  492. Also, if you want to see a good WP spinout, check out the recent comments at AMA.

    Weird nonsensical shit on random posts from the past.

    I don’t know him personally, but I’m pretty sure you do. Are there any medicine issues going on here?

  493. Never had a problem with firefox. Must be it just doesn’t like you.

    Geoff, someone posted the other day the Mesa/Pinto vid of them blowing each other at a bar in Pinto’s hometown.

    I threw up in that bar.

  494. I’ve been lucky enough to never have puked in public — far as I know.

    Redheads — they’lll puke anywhere.

    On command, even.

  495. fricking firefox started blowing up my computer last week

    I love how on the computer help forums the threads all go the same way:

    Q. I’ve got a software compatibility problem with XXXXX and Vista. Can anybody help?

    – You should be using a Mac

    – Uninstall Vista and go back to XP

    – Call the software vendor

    – Call Microsoft

    – Call the people who sold the system to you

    – Suck it

    Only on rare occasions does somebody useful actually appear.

  496. Not so much for you guys, but the lurkers might appreciate it…

    http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/2009/04/27/load-heat-43/

  497. Are there any medicine issues going on here?

    Alcohol.

    He’s the nicest guy in person.

    I don’t want to get into his personal life online, but he has no excuse. Everyone in his life bends over backwards to give him the benefit of the doubt because he is a smart young guy — he doesn’t have to stand on his own two feet, so he just doesn’t. Needs to cut the strings.

  498. I threw up in that bar.

    Well, if you never had before the vid, you certainly would now.

  499. Oh, I puked in public early. Before my teen years even.

    I was on a ski bus. Some asshole pressured me into trying skoal.

    I puked on the bus.

    I heard about that the last time I went to my home town. Some 20 years later.

  500. About two months ago, I went to use my old desktop (it runs Windows ME, otherwiser known as the shittiest OS EVAR) and all of my bookmarks were gone from Firefox. Just vanished. I’ve never been able to find out what happened.

  501. it runs Windows ME, otherwiser known as the shittiest OS EVAR

    You should use a Mac.

  502. Heh. I said “otherwiser” there unintentionally. Hostageian slip, I suppose.

  503. Never had a problem with firefox.

    Me either.

    Went back through every system update and rolled back step by step. Every half hour or so, it just locks my laptop up completely, statring two weeks ago No malware, no virus, no hijack — I did this stuff for a living. Can’t find it. First started happening after a forced firefox update.

    I actually know the forums to get the right answer — maybe I’ll feel like screwing with it in a few days.

  504. **scrounges around**

    dammit, where’d the rebar of death go? I swear, I need a new section every time I beat a mac user to death…

  505. You should use a Mac.

    FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!!!! I’D RATHER PUSH A FORD THAN USE A–oh, wait….

  506. Night to you, gents. If I’m responsible and such, you won’t hear from me until the end of the week. If not, no thread is safe.

  507. Heh, looking at my recent comments, I need to fix firefox to save me from multiple spelling errors casued by leaned back on the couch three finger laptop typing.

  508. I’m out as well. I’ve got a contractor coming tomorrow to talk about marble counters, then I’m taking a 94 year old to the braille institute, then I’ve got to track down Rich and see if we are going drinking.

  509. casued

    That a word?

  510. I’ve got a contractor coming tomorrow to talk about ass marbles

    FTFXb

  511. Hasta Menana pinchi hoto cabasa dome poodle lickers.

  512. I C WUT U DID THER

  513. CUL

  514. My cat is eating bologna right now.

    For rlz.

  515. The stupid cat, Spaz. He used to eat pickles.

    He pukes about five times more than Chuck. Thought I’d add some grease to his diet.

    If I have to move, Spaz gets left in the ghetto where I found him — true story, found him in an abanddoned lot in the hood in Detroit and felt sorry for him. Makes me regret it about ten times a day as he destroys shit and makes a general nuisance of himself by digging through the garbage and knocking stuff off the counters. Nevermind how he likes to use me as a launching pad at 4:00 am.

    Chuck is a rockin’ cool cat, almost doglike.

  516. The stupid cat, Spaz. He used to eat pickles.

    He pukes about five times more than Chuck. Thought I’d add some grease to his diet.

    Awesome use of logic there, mesa.

  517. Comment by xbradtc on April 28, 2009 4:11 am

    **scrounges around**

    dammit, where’d the rebar of death go? I swear, I need a new section every time I beat a mac user to death…

    Look in the trunk of the Beemer. I think you put it there to use it on your friendly church heckler….

  518. Comment by Sean M. on April 28, 2009 4:54 am

    The stupid cat, Spaz. He used to eat pickles.

    He pukes about five times more than Chuck. Thought I’d add some grease to his diet.

    Awesome use of logic there, mesa.

    Would y’all kindly refrain from Cat Therapy and/or diet modifications. You-Know-Who might read this.

  519. Hey Miss Tat, Miss Folly! Off to see whats caught in the mouse trap. Maybe today, it won’t be me.

  520. HI Sox

  521. PJ, I’ve known lots of women who thought they were great in bed. Very few were. Guys just don’t complain much because we know we’re lucky to get laid at all, much less laid well.,/i>

    It ain’t bragging if you can do it. Just sayin’

  522. Damn html

  523. ^I blame Mare

  524. Huevos rancheros and black coffee is a great way to start teh day.

    >> shitty sex

    Totally not following you there. How bad could it be? I mean, did you get to touch a real boobie?

    Is that as fun as I think it would be?

  525. Also, could someone start another post so I don’t void the warranty on this phone? Thanks!!

  526. The powers that have posting privileges are still asleep.

  527. Saw this picture of Gyorgy Schwartz the other day & thought it might make a good future caption contest — he’s clearly dreaming deeply profound, and profoundly evil daydreams.

  528. Eyas, can you photoshop his pinky finger into standing straight up? If so, I think I have a caption.

  529. I can see the booger Soros is rolling between his fingers. Big and green.

    or

    “I bet I can pop this zit and no one will even notice”

  530. PattyAnn,
    Unfortunately, I don’t have photoshop & wouldn’t know haw to use it if I did.
    However, I think what you’re thinking has already been thought – and done:
    voila,


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