Welcome Fiity-tooers!!!

Rosetta was lamenting our lack of trolls. What better way to get one than to mock Teh ONe™. I know, its hard to improve upon such brilliance as appointing every tax-cheat and leftist twat-waffle floating through the stanky bowl we call D.C., setting up Joe Biden to police waste and incompetence, and causing the dow to drop like a stone every time you step in front of the camera, open your pie-hole and confidently mouth whatever the teleprompter feeds you, but I am confident that while we all count the change his disasterous economic policies leave us with while we hope they don’t find out about it, we can all sing this song. After all, it isn’t any sillier than Teh One™ telling us how electing him will reverse glowbull worminging, and stop the rise of the oceans.

291 Comments

  1. Fist(ing).

  2. No one cares about your love life, Jazz. Unless you’re sleeping with Heidi Klum, in which case Rosetta is interested.

  3. Anyone know where I can get a cheap Rolex watch?

  4. Nicely done asshole lawyer.

    *Gives BiW the stink-eye.

  5. My g/f’s 6 and 8 year old kids watch this fucking video all the time. They’re biracial, so BO is a role model in that respect – I get that, I really do. But I want to throw the computer in the tub when I hear this fucking thing. Why do the kids love him? Because of his race and because he’s pop culture.

  6. Miss Tat has a headache? I always had her pegged as a “Carrier”. 😉

  7. Other than PJ, I’d think a whole bunch of people would be interested – she’s the only one who can prove she’s gettin’ any. Unfortunately, you’ve got to feed her “receipts.”

  8. Comment by Mare on March 18, 2009 12:13 pm

    Anyone know where I can get a cheap Rolex watch?

    I’d check MCPO or BrewFan. Probably a couple of them stuck in a fold of a trenchcoat…..

  9. Nicely done asshole lawyer.

    There really isn’t any other kind.

    However, you could quit wailing like a 13 year-old-girl who doesn’t get to go to the mall with her freinds on Friday night and look upon it as an initiation. Few things are more ‘Hostagesque’ than being pushed down seconds after posting, other than being beaten with the Birfday Stick o Pain™ enduring a “True Story”, or knowing that MCPO just got back from a lemon party.

    Take it as a sign of acceptance and quit complaining like you just got a pink sock.

  10. Anyone know where I can get a cheap Rolex watch?

    The gas station by my house sells “Rolax” watches, and they range between $9.95 and $16.95. How do I know? Because I was there Saturday asking where the Rolaids were and the newly arrived Cambodian manager kept showing me the damn watches.

  11. I’d check MCPO or BrewFan. Probably a couple of them stuck in a fold of a trenchcoat…..

    That fold wasn’t a trenchcoat.

  12. And don’t even ask why that fold was sticky.

  13. Anyone know where I can get a cheap Rolex watch?

    Turn one of PJ’s kids upside down and shake ’em like a British nanny. You’ll find all kinds of goodies.

  14. Anyone know where I can get a cheap Rolex watch?

    Got an Omega I want to sell. Rolexes are for goobers. Omegas are cool.

  15. This one — http://www.watchonwatch.com/products/omega/professional

  16. Rolexes are for goobers. Omegas are cool.

    We are simpatico on both counts, mesa.

  17. My Timex has that Indiglo feature. Does your fancy watch do that?

  18. My Timex ass has that Indiglo feature a potato in it.

    There you go.

  19. Started drinking early today, huh, Rosie? How many Indians you got?

  20. BiW, pajama momma is fucking with your categories and tags. FYI.

    I’m pretty sure she’ll go to hell because of it since she’s not supposed to be messing around on the blog during Lent.

  21. So, does that mean that people who like “mashed potatoes” are down with the buttsehks?

  22. I am currently at baseline which is 1/2 Indian.

  23. Does your fancy watch do that?

    It glows pretty good. Made to be seen in the deep dark ocean.

  24. This is the one time I want those idiots on the hill to go after a business leader.

    Rip his fucking head off — and then let him name names. Their names. Fuckers.

  25. We are simpatico on both counts flaming homosexuals, mesa.

    There you go.

  26. Hahahahahaha. Good one, Vicar M.

  27. Still no trolls? Huh. Let’s see if this will help…

    Michelle Obama’s arms aren’t as nicely toned as the media says they are!

  28. RACIST!!!!!!!!

  29. The klingon’s krulnaks are spiky and scaly.

  30. Michelle Obama has clippership yardarm hips. You could show a movie on her ass.

  31. Uhhhh…I hear that Barack Obama fellow is a bit of a milquetoast.

    Trolls? Anyone? Bueller?

  32. Michelle Obama can swing a bat’leth hard enough to cleave a Terran bull’s skull!

  33. This is the one time I want those idiots on the hill to go after a business leader.

    Rip his fucking head off — and then let him name names. Their names. Fuckers.

    Are you talking about the guy from AIG, mesa?

  34. When I think of Obama I think of one thing:

    MENS ASSES1!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!

  35. BiW, yup.

    He’s Geithner’s frikking stooge. I know he came back after the mess started, but he was involved in this mess from the beginning.

    The ass licking he just got was ridiculous.

  36. Michelle Obama is the progeny of an illicit affair between Chewbaca and an Asian Fruit Bat!

  37. You’ll be getting a call from Chewbacca’s lawyer, Chief.

  38. Mesa – I hate to burst your bubble but I could give a flying fuck about the AIG bonuses. If our idiot government is going to ruin the country at the expense of these guys, GM and their ilk, you can expect this kind of shit.

    Rather, let’s have an hour on C-SPAN were Chris Dodd explains his mortgage, Barney Frank explains why it’s OK to run a brothel out of his home and state before Congress that proposed regulations to tighten up regulations and Fannie and Freddie were racist. Let’s also have Maxine Waters explain what “quid pro quo” means when it comes to banking and politics. FUCK ‘EM ALL WITH THE BARBED COCK OF SATAN!!!

    Thank you. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

  39. You’ll be getting a call from Chewbacca’s lawyer, Chief.

    Folly is online?????

  40. I fail to see how getting fucked with the barbed cock of satan helps Michelle Obama’s kids.

  41. And me and BiW will be listening in – we lawyers are tight like that.

  42. I fail to see how getting fucked with the barbed cock of satan helps Michelle Obama’s kids.

    Well, her husband got elected, didn’t he?

  43. Are you suggesting Satan is a pedo, Rosetta? That’s all sorts of sick.

  44. Yeah MC, but that’s never going to happen.

    I’ll take what I can get.

    ATTICA!!!!

  45. Do not tempt me Mesa,
    How much do you want for the Omega?

  46. Went out to get ammo for the shotgun. . . nothing left but birdshot. Does that tell you anything?

  47. Do not tempt me Mesa,
    How much do you want for the Omega?

    Take it Craig’s list, woodja?

  48. What the hell are the code pinkos doing there?

    Fucking barney Rubble should be taken out and **** for treason.

  49. Vmax, a grand.

    It’s due for a service or I would sell it for about $1500.00. It was almost three grand new.

    I’ve got the original case and boxes. If you are interested, I can send pictures.

  50. “Rather, let’s have an hour on C-SPAN were Chris Dodd explains his mortgage, Barney Frank explains why it’s OK to run a brothel out of his home and state before Congress that proposed regulations to tighten up regulations and Fannie and Freddie were racist. Let’s also have Maxine Waters explain what “quid pro quo” means when it comes to banking and politics. FUCK ‘EM ALL WITH THE BARBED COCK OF SATAN!!”

    I now have a crush on MCPO.

  51. Take it Craig’s list, woodja?

    Yeah, that would be great. If I put an ad in Craigslist here in Detroit for an expensive watch, I’d get about a hundred emails from nice folks who would want to meet me somewhere and “relieve” me of my watch after I’ve bled out from several small holes in my body.

  52. Mesa – I meant you and Vmax on the relationships section.

  53. Mare – Should I bring my airbrush? I could do some interesting “body painting”!

  54. Heh. We used to just say, “get a room!”


  55. This is literally one of the funniest clips I have seen in a long time.
    Enjoy.

  56. Uni!!!!!!! ‘Sup, assmuncher??

  57. Hey MCPO. Just working my ass off.
    did you see that clip? Very few things get me to gut laugh, but that did.

  58. MCPO, keep the airbrush at home, you know, for your “cleaning lady.”

    I will, however, buy you a couple of drinks for articulating my thoughts on those Washington D.C. assholes.

    Cheers!

  59. Vmax, I love the new avatar of Max.

  60. Uni – Most athletic move he’s probably ever made! HAHAHAHAHA!

    Whiteboys playing pro-ball are stupid!

  61. The thing that was so funny is he plays for Wyoming, and he is from Cody, Wyoming, I believe, and he is a stiff all season long then he pulls that.

    I couldn’t stop laughing. Good thing he was ok and was laughing on the bench. Can you imagine trying to play after witnessing that? I don’t think I could focus.

  62. Vmax, I love the new avatar of Max.

    Then why don’t you marry it? Huh? Why don’t you?!?

    *runs away sobbing uncontrollably*

  63. somebody realize that somebody is throwing out keys to this place?

  64. I got a kick out of this:

    Sorry if you love aminals.

  65. Thank you Mare

  66. tbom, if you want the keys to post here, email PattyAnn a picture of your naked ass and she’ll set you up.

  67. Jizz…you wonder how many squirrels were slaughtered until they got the angle right

  68. tbom, if you want the keys to post here, email PattyAnn a picture of your naked ass and she’ll set you up.

    I already got them…that’s why I was thinking somebody either was wasted or made a mistake

  69. Jazz, that’s the first funny thing I’ve ever seen from you.

  70. Not really, tbom. They’re vermin. There’re always more squirrels.

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……….. Tasty, tasty squirrels.

  71. I’m trying to figure out how to use you guys to lose twenty pounds (shut your filthy whore mouths). Since you all know a lot about shame, fatness and degradation I figure we I can somehow use that to stay focused on my goal. I spend a lot of my time here (which appears to be part of the problem) and I’m searching for ways to use this site to improve my life. HAHAHAHA, like that could ever happen.

  72. PattyAnn and pajama momma are trying to destroy the new blog by giving everyone and their brother posting rights.

    So feel free to post pictures of yourself licking a bull’s dick or sticking coke bottles up your ass.

    tbom.

    http://tinyurl.com/cvuj7n

  73. I’ve got to go in a minute. If any of you have any intelligent ideas (HAHAHAHAHAHALOLHAHA) I will read them when I return.

  74. C’mon, xbrad, this was funny. Disturbing, but really funny.

  75. Mare…having met several people here, nutrition tips will not be too forthcoming I would imagine…at least none that anyone has followed

  76. I’m trying to figure out how to use you guys to lose twenty pounds (shut your filthy whore mouths).

    Show up here and announce when you’re getting ready to eat. I’ll link something like this as an appetite suppressant.

    Mare, here’s you if you eat anything.

    http://tinyurl.com/6ztjab

  77. Tbom, I know you are right, that is why I was going for the shame and degradation angle.

  78. Any diet can work, if you stick to it. It’s the motivation to stick to it that people can’t hold on to.

  79. PattyAnn and pajama momma are trying to destroy the new blog by giving everyone and their brother posting rights.

    Don’t worry Rosetta, I won’t post anything…and thus you can go on thinking you are a funny person

    btw….I hate your guts

  80. Jazz, I gave it 20 seconds. Not funneh.

  81. See, Rosetta totally gets it!

    I already don’t feel like eating. This place is awesome.

  82. Mare…I got food poisoning at Applebees about 3 weeks ago. I lost 7 lbs in 48 hours. It required both puking and shitting at the same time every 20 minutes, but it was quick and effective.

  83. You know who has superpowers? That adorable baby in the header, who wants me to kiss his face.

  84. Soooo, whatsup?

  85. Mare, to lose weight, don’t buy any junk. Keep carrots, apples, or raisins, handy as snacks and then get in a daily walk.

    At night and perhaps once during the day, take off all of you clothes in front of a mirror. Then hop a little.

    I’m in the same boat. Brrr…

  86. btw….I hate your guts

    Hahahahahaha!

    See, Rosetta totally gets it!

    I’m glad you liked it, fatass.

  87. At night and perhaps once during the day, take off all of you clothes in front of a mirror video camera. Then hop a little</strike? Be sure to share the video with all us Hostages.

    FTFM

  88. One of these fucking days, I’ll get the HTML right. Until then…

    ***shakes fist at Skyler***

    MAAAARRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  89. Xbrad is having troubles with the />

  90. I’m having trouble with all sorts of shit, Vmax. If that was my only issue, I’d count myself lucky. My sinuses hurt so bad last night, I thought Sox had finally had enough and had jammed a screwdriver into my skull.

  91. hehe….

    Mare?

  92. The klingon’s krulnaks are spiky and scaly.

    I’m not sure why because I have no idea what it means but this made me laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Out loud even!

  93. Brew, I don’t know what it means, either.

  94. Would that it were so.

  95. mesa, the way Casey McGehee has been playing this spring the Cubs may be sorry they let him slip away.

  96. fartsnoggle

  97. My sinuses hurt so bad last night, I thought Sox had finally had enough and had jammed a screwdriver into my skull.

    Maybe he is. Maybe you are allergic to him.

  98. hehe….

    Mare?

    Okay, dressing up your nut sack and calling it ‘Mare’ is just gross.

  99. cockial limpasia- that’s what xbrad’s problem is.

  100. Casey McGehee

    Who?

    He could be awesome and the Cubs would have a hard time finding playing time for him in their lineup.

    No holes.

  101. 1. If I’m allergic, why is it the first time in 5 years it’s bothered me? No, I think the rapid change in barometric pressure we had last night had more to do with it.

    2. I gotta hear limp-dick jokes from a guy who dispenses the only change that smells worse than Obamba’s Hope&Change?

  102. BrewFan shows up and this thread shits its pants.

    Good job, BrewFan.

    Here’s a picture of BrewFan’s face.

    http://tinyurl.com/d3y57t

  103. nice work Rosie

    *stifles a gag

  104. I’m searching for ways to use this site to improve my life. HAHAHAHA, like that could ever happen.

    Send links to your friends. Then you’ll be so ashamed to be seen with us that you’ll go out and be active so your friends can’t find you to shame you, and we’ll have a bunch more people here talking shit about Total. Its a win-win.

  105. No holes.

    They do have a good lineup but Fukudome is a hole for sure.

  106. Here’s a picture of BrewFan’s face.

    That was just wrong.

  107. That was just wrong.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    It made the Pooping Baby Jesus laugh and laugh and laugh.

  108. Again, I ask, who wants to see Rosetta beaten within an inch of his life?

  109. PJ gives Brewfan a kiss

  110. xbrad.

    http://tinyurl.com/5tgool

  111. No, I think the rapid change in barometric pressure we had last night had more to do with it.

    Ooo..I hear ya on the pressure thing. It happens to me frequently. I hate being a barometer. When severe storms pass over, I can detect by the pressure in my head and chest, the eye.

    When I was pregnant it was worse. I felt it in my veins. I would wake up in the middle of the night and tell Mr. Beasn we would be getting rain the next day. Thus, bad storms equal more women hitting ERs in labor.

  112. It was so bad, my fillings hurt last night. I can’t recall ever being so miserable in my life. I had veins pulsing on my temples. I couldn’t sleep, so I’d get up, wander around like Brewfan looking for his purpose in life, sit at the computer like Rosetta looking for pictures of Brewfan, lay down like Sox doing his usual, and then start all over. I finally passed out around 5am.

  113. Sorry to hear it xbrad. Sometimes I find steam will help relieve the pain for a few minutes. Whether it be from hot tea or a hot shower. But then you can’t sleep in the shower and residential water tanks aren’t that big.

    When I get a headache like that, it will last for a few days. I hate it. Can’t find one painless position for my head in order to sleep. When I do, then I get a crick in my neck which exascerbates the pain.

  114. Bright light is my trigger since I got my eyes fixed. Dark room or sunglasses so dark that Satan would have to light a match to see what he is doing.

  115. I can’t recall ever being so miserable in my life.

    Welcome to my life every time I read one of your self-indulgent, fake self-deprecating comments.

  116. exascerbates

    Way to go, Spelly McSpellerson!

  117. I’d tell you to bite me, Oldtimer, but you’d have to spend the rest of the day looking for your dentures…

  118. TBOM,
    Sweet Jesus!

    What is that, a diaper?

  119. B-rad – I don’t wear dentures. But, I appreciate the sentiment you agoraphobic, feline molesting layabout!

  120. Mrs Uniball.

  121. I wasn’t molesting him, I was checking him for fleas. Honest.

    And so I’m a homebody. I go outside all the time. In the back yard. With a large privacy fence.

  122. Mrs Uniball.

    I don’t even want to know what you googled for that…

  123. Shirlena???

    http://tiny.pl/b4gm

  124. Rosetta,
    that’s a sexy shot.

    Rosetta dancing
    http://tinyurl.com/c4jgbs

  125. Why Sox has gas.

    http://tinyurl.com/cj7pyq

  126. This is what you get when you search for Rosetta woman

  127. Rosetta’s favorite CD

  128. What goes on in the Whitehouse

  129. Tbom – Girlfriend’s looking fierce!!

  130. tbom’s ass gerbil.

    http://tinyurl.com/cxgf6r

  131. exascerbates

    Way to go, Spelly McSpellerson!

    So I added an ‘s’, get your diaper out of a wad, you exasperating anal McAnalsphinctor.

  132. *waits for it on purpose*

  133. tbom and friends.

    http://tinyurl.com/25jrq

  134. Rosetta’s ass hamster

  135. Rosetta?

  136. “It was late last night
    I was feeling something wasnt right
    There was not another soul in sight
    Only you, only you
    So we walked along,
    Though I knew there was something wrong
    And the feeling hot me oh so strong about you
    Then you gazed up at me and the answer was plain to see
    cause I saw the light in your eyes”

  137. Rosetta

  138. tbom and friends.

    http://tinyurl.com/25jrq

    uhhhh….where’s teh joke?

  139. Hey Beasn, whatcha eatin’?

    http://tinyurl.com/263ors

  140. Porknbeasn – I like the photos you posted of yourself in that last video!

  141. Hey Beasn, whatcha eatin’?

    Does Mrs. Rosetta know about your Kerry Marie fetish?

  142. Rosetta’s wife?

  143. TBomb parties hard!!!

    http://tiny.pl/b4g5

  144. Gross! 2 Girls, 1 Pup.

    http://tinyurl.com/cuhz58

  145. Uniball has a new addition to the family! Isn’t he just the cutest thing evah?

    http://tiny.pl/b4g1

  146. Visual puns by Rosetta – let’s see IB compete with that!!!!

  147. What’s up losers?

    I got to bitch-slap Mr. Joe Douchebag Lawyer today at court. It felt GOOOOOOOD.

  148. MCPO

  149. MCPO, who is your friend?

  150. Does Mrs. Rosetta know about your Kerry Marie fetish?

    Who’s to say that Mrs. Rosetta isn’t Kerry Marie? Hmmmm, Beasn?

  151. Porknbeasn – That is a L-O-W blow! Barney Fwank?!?!

    Bitch!

  152. 2006 Hungarian Chess Champion

    Her competition is equally attractive.

    Polish female chess player

    If I am ever a single man again, I will attend the central/eastern European womens chess tournaments and find a lady friend.

  153. Uniball has a new addition to the family! Isn’t he just the cutest thing evah?

    BWAHAHAHAHA

    good one McAnalsphincter

  154. Porknbeasn – That is a L-O-W blow! Barney Fwank?!?!

    Bitch!

    *pats MCPO on the head and hands him a Kleenex*

    Yeah, that was a bit low. Would that qualify as a ‘line-crosser’?

  155. Hey, Folly. Ain’t it grand to be the righteous hand of God every once in a while?

  156. Hi Xbrad. Got a sinus infection? Those suck.

    Hi Chief.

  157. Would that qualify as a ‘line-crosser’?

    Absolutely!! I’m putting you in moderation for 6.2 seconds!!!!

  158. Who’s to say that Mrs. Rosetta isn’t Kerry Marie? Hmmmm, Beasn?

    Let us assume your wife is Kerry Marie. Would she like you posting pictures of her shoving cakes in her mouth on the worldwide web?

  159. MCPO,
    That is closer to the truth than you realize.

    MCPO?
    http://tinyurl.com/7xqybr

  160. Hi Folly! Glad you got to bitch slap somebody today. Hope it was an ambulance-chasing, TV advertising douchebag just like BiW!

  161. I got to bitch-slap Mr. Joe Douchebag Lawyer today at court. It felt GOOOOOOOD.

    You must be mistaken. I was nowhere near court today.

  162. Hey, Folly. Ain’t it grand to be the righteous hand of God every once in a while?

    Damn right. He was a total arrogant prick but in the end, he lost.

  163. I don’t know Uniball, the idiot in the diaper is as nauseating as pillow munching Fwank.

  164. Hope it was an ambulance-chasing, TV advertising douchebag just like BiW!

    Perfectly coiffed, expensive 3 piece suit, Blackberry. Look like somebody off of one of those law shows.

  165. If I am ever a single man again, I will attend the central/eastern European womens chess tournaments and find a lady friend.

    I doubt that. If they are chess champions, then they are smart enough to have NOTHING to do with you.

  166. Time to go put my head in the freezer to see what I should make for dinner.

  167. “I’d get up, wander around like Brewfan looking for his purpose in life, sit at the computer like Rosetta looking for pictures of Brewfan.”

    LOL

    Rosetta, your picture of the grossly fat woman helped. I was going to eat some Starburst, thought of that picture and put them down.

    BiW and Thom were creative also. “dieting for dummies”

  168. Uniball is in moderation too. It crossing the line when you compare a disabled veteran to left wing, socialist assholes who never done an honest days work in their entire lives.

  169. Hope it was an ambulance-chasing, TV advertising douchebag just like BiW!

    Nope. Too forward thinking…like Crawly. We’re more into the hand-crafted one-on-one damnation of old. The guys you’re thinking of are too sloppy for my kind of work, Chief.

  170. Porknbeasn – I’ve got black-eyed peas and ham hocks on the stove, should I save you some?

  171. Thanks for the offer chief, but I think I will do some spaghetti.

  172. *sticks tongue out at PnB*

    Mare – should I make cornbread?

  173. Didn’t do the traditional corned beef last night. We’re doing that tonight for bookclub. It’s in the crockpot right now. I did, however, indulge in a Guinness. But only one. Eventually, the pain drove me to break out the hard stuff at 3am in a vain attempt at stupefication.

  174. Why don’t people marry the mother/father of their offspring?

  175. “I got to bitch-slap Mr. Joe Douchebag Lawyer today at court. It felt GOOOOOOOD.”

    That’s good for all of mankind.

  176. Why do they call them apartments when they are all together?

    Why do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

  177. Why don’t people marry the mother/father of their offspring?

    Why should they when they can climb in Mr. Beasn’s pocket and have him take care of their offspring, when it is no longer taboo to spread ’em for anyone, when gratification trumps responsibility?

  178. Why is there braile on drive-up ATMS?

    Why are there locks on the door of the 7-11?

  179. “Mare – should I make cornbread?”

    MCPO, is it ever wrong to make cornbread?

  180. “Tell us what you’re gonna do tonight, mama.
    There must be someplace you can go
    In the middle of the tall drinks and the drama,
    There must be someone you know.

    God knows, you’re lookin’ good enough,
    But you’re so smooth and the worlds so rough.
    You might have somethin’ to loose.
    Oh, no, pretty mama, what you gonna
    Do in those shoes?

  181. Why should they when they can climb in Mr. Beasn’s pocket and have him take care of their offspring, when it is no longer taboo to spread ‘em for anyone, when gratification trumps responsibility?

    Then they come to me and bitch because mom/dad is now demanding money or withholding visitation which wouldn’t happen if someone kept their pants zipped or they got married.

  182. Mare, it’s your turn to change MCPO’s diaper.

  183. Xbrad, I’m sorry about your headache, it sounds like HELL!

    MCPO, cornbread is one of those foods that is always right.

  184. MCPO,
    I knew that would get under your skin. That asshole deserves to be behind bars for what he is trying to do. Nuff said.

    It was also the only picture I could find of an adult in a diaper.

  185. “Mare, it’s your turn to change MCPO’s diaper.”

    I’m going to use the backyard hose.

  186. Rosetta – Don’t make me get angry. . . you won’t like me when I’m angry.

    *goes all Hulk then realizes he’s got food cooking*

    Nevermind

  187. I think xbrad would be a good catch for some gal because he can cook and he likes cats.

    Have you seen the Tourrettes guy’s video where his son says “…she’s a lesbian.” And TG responds by saying “That just means she likes what I like.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  188. One of the reasons I like you, Mare, is that you like Tourette’s Guy.

    I’m suspicious of anyone that doesn’t think he’s funny.

    THESE FISHSTICKS ARE HARD AS TITS!!!!

  189. God, I need to find a new line of work. Especially when I have a client who’d rather live off the government and her family than get a job or go to school.

  190. Mare – If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

    – William Shakespeare

  191. Mare, it’s your turn to mow MCPO.

    http://tinyurl.com/2p5xcj

  192. MEN’S ASSES!!!!!!!!!!

  193. I didn’t know the Chief was a druid.

    The more you know.

  194. “Mare, it’s your turn to mow MCPO.”

    PWMP = possibly wet my pants

  195. Who said this?

    I thank you, good people:- there shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree like brothers, and worship me their lord.

  196. MCPO, can I borrow some Depends?

    (you understand this makes me old too)

  197. Xbrad, I’m sorry about your headache, it sounds like HELL!

    I think it’s really because I’ve been exposed to too many lawyers, not only here, but like at church. There’s so many at my church, you’d swear there must have been a personal injury accident there…

  198. I think it’s really because I’ve been exposed to too many lawyers, not only here, but like at church. There’s so many at my church, you’d swear there must have been a personal injury accident there…

    I’d like to personally apologize for my part in your headache. I would be more than happy to run your temple.

  199. Or rub your temple. Whichever you prefer.

  200. Folly – run over his temple – repeatedly

  201. I’d like to personally gloat over my part in your headache. I would be more than happy to increase the pain factor at my discretion and whim.

  202. For the vets here, I got a DAV notice that Obama’s backed off the private insurance proposal this afternoon. Just an FYI.

  203. Jazz, I suspect that’s gonna be like comprehensive immigration reform. No one wants anything to do with it, but the piece of shit keeps coming back.

  204. BRB

  205. I think it’s really because I’ve been exposed to too many lawyers, not only here, but like at church. There’s so many at my church, you’d swear there must have been a personal injury accident there…

    And mine is usually brought on by accountants. Funny how that works, what?

  206. Awesome! Hulu just added Season one of Quantum Leap.

  207. You killed the thread Brad.

  208. Pretty much. That’s OK, it was just a bunch of assholes anyway.

  209. So here’s something for Sox: http://www.foxnews.com/js/photoPop.html?0

  210. In the dog pron comments at Ace’s:

    74 The Tampa Trib had an article a couple of days ago about some freak who was gettin’ his groove on with a goat or some other barnyard animal.

    So that’s where wiserbud ran off to…

  211. Pretty much. That’s OK, it was just a bunch of assholes anyway.

    Except for me, of course. 🙂

  212. Sorry, Sox. Here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,509673,00.html

  213. Mare?

    9. Anti-Eating Face Mask
    Essentially a metal cage that attaches to your face to prevent those of us lacking any self-control from ingesting solid foods, the Anti-Eating Face Mask is pretty straightforward, but there must be easier ways of losing that extra winter weight

    At folly’s link…

  214. “Anti-Eating Face Mask”

    I thought those were to keep chimps from eating your face.

  215. it was just a bunch of assholes anyway.

    Perfect assholes, thank you very much. Not a hemorrhoid in sight!!

  216. The birth rate rose slightly for women of all ages, and births to unwed mothers reached an all-time high of about 40 percent, continuing a trend begun years ago. More than three-quarters of these women were 20 or older.

    http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D970HM7O0&show_article=1

  217. A nation of bastards. Perfect. Fuck salt, did I kill the thread?

  218. Yes, count your dick.

  219. wow jazz is back

    now i remember how much of a pain in the ass he was

  220. ‘cuz we had a real shortage of lawyers here…

  221. ‘cuz we had a real shortage of lawyers here…

    Yeah! They are real assholes! Who the Hell let them in???

  222. http://www.kittywigs.com/

  223. BiW – I bought an electric razor today. There was a warning not to use it in the bath or the swimming pool. I would love to have seen the jury awards on those two cases!

  224. wow jazz is back

    now i remember how much of a pain in the ass he was

    Quit taking your cues from Rosetta and actually wear some pants, Mencken.

  225. I thought those were to keep chimps from eating your face.

    You just made the list pally.

  226. For the vets here, I got a DAV notice that Obama’s backed off the private insurance proposal this afternoon. Just an FYI.

    Question about that. How many vets actually use the VA? My sis-n-law has worked for the VA and she says God help us all if the government takes over all health care.

    A nation of bastards. Perfect. Fuck salt, did I kill the thread?

    Yep. How many of those bastards are anchor babies?
    I guaran-dam-tee-u that if I was Queen of the States and I got rid of all welfare programs, out of wedlock births would drop like a rock.

  227. …so would illegal immigration

  228. Rolexes are for goobers. Omegas are cool.

    Rolexes and Omegas are for amateurs.

    TAG Heuer – now that’s a watch.

  229. …so would violent crimes because I would bring back the guillotine and firing squads.

  230. Teafran – Longines-Wittnauer

  231. I can think of more than a few people who should do time at the gillotine of justice. Just sayin

  232. and Kitty Wigs ? I’m sorry but there is something fundamentally wrong with anyone who would buy something like that. fundamentally wrong in the good sense of the words I mean… and in case you all didn’t already know, I’m a 48er. Obambi can suck satan’s cock as far as I’m concerned

  233. Firing squads would be used for some members of congress. I will raffle off the opportunity for the public to participate.

  234. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

    Tonight’s channel/show schedule:

    GLAAD channel: Rosetta on how many Indians it takes to make a tribe.

    Nickleodeon Channel: Where In The World Is Wiserbud – San Diego?

    Law and Order: “The Bitch Slap” starring Folly.

    NCIS: The Chief investigates his navel and finds naval lint.

    Comedy channel: TI returns from a road trip to find her room mate held hostage by renegade ferrets – jocularity ensues.

    Discovery Channel: Mare investigates the nature of Depends and their unique place in elder care.

  235. NCIS: The Chief investigates his navel and finds naval lint.

    Like I can see my navel without a full-length mirror!

  236. Porknbeasn: I like the way you think.

  237. Question about that. How many vets actually use the VA?

    Quite a few retirees do as I understand it. And it’s actually very good care.

    I have a VA card, but I’ve never used it – saved it for emergency care if I ever lost insurance for some reason. But there are some who need it and do use it.

    It’s a flawed system, but like most government systems, this one actually does try to help out their constituency.

  238. J-Shock. Cost me $5.99 in Korea. Now that’s a watch, bitches.

  239. If the whole kitty wig concept isn’t bad enough, look at this page from that site:

    http://www.kittywigs.com/package.html

  240. Busy Beaver Button Company….and the beaver jokes start in 5…4…3…2….

  241. Longines-Wittnauer

    Good watches – not quite the quality of a TAG Heuer though. :mrgreen:

  242. The one time I was without insurance and needed some health care, they told me I had made too much money the year before. I was SOL.

    I know a lot of people complain, but a lot of people I’ve talked to have had great care and a pretty decent experience. As for retirees, my dad was covered under Tri-Care for Life, and they were pretty fucking awesome.

  243. Watch: I have a Columbia sports watch my kid bought me for Christmas and a Citizen the “boyfriend” bought me for Christmas.

  244. Rosetta walked into a bar and ordered two beers.

    After he paid for the beers he drank one and poured the other one all over his right hand. The bartender was curious to what he was doing so he asked him.

    Rosetta replied: “I’m trying to get my date drunk.”

  245. from that site Folly gave us.

    “Complete directions and safety warnings are included with every package. Please read them carefully and avoid unnecessary dangers”

    can onyone define “necessary dangers” ? involved with putting fake hair on a cat ?

  246. Firing squads would be used for some members of congress. I will raffle off the opportunity for the public to participate.

    Nope. Hanging from the DC lightposts for the less prominent ones, as a real life object lesson. As for the really special ones, we should have the Mary Jo Kopeckne dunk tank for Teddy “the swimmer” Kennedy, and for Barney Fwanks, Chris Dodd, Strech Pelosi, and Harry Reid, I suggest the following, seeing as they are the infernal influence peddlers that they are:

    The suggestion kicks in at 1:12 in the clip.

  247. necessary dangers?
    Like trusting Mare?

  248. can onyone define “necessary dangers” ? involved with putting fake hair on a cat ?

    Getting the shit clawed out of you for putting fake hair on your cat.

  249. Got a Relic Wet, heavy stainless steel band and case with a saphire crystal on my watch. High quality and I didn’t get hosed on the price.

  250. It’s not just confined to cats either:

    http://wigglesdogwigs.com/products

  251. I think they must have stolen that idea from Rachel Lucas. an have to be making some money from it.

  252. 1970 Rolex Oyster, left by dad. That’s my only watch. Don’t normally wear one, but it’s nice to have.

  253. “Like trusting Mare?”

    Eeeeeedddddddiiiiiieeeeebbbbeeeeaaaarrrrrreeeeee!!!!

    Now that I screamed, could you tell me how I have let you down?

  254. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

    You forgot:

    Mesa shares 5 new bacon recipes on the Food Network

    Bart goes to the Emergency Room to extricate the vibrator that he pushed up his bum and lost on Bravo

    Teafran kills another thread on Blogstory, excusively broadcast at MSN.com

  255. has anyone yet started a pool on when the first pro-BO troll show up ?

  256. You haven’t. Just messin’ with ya.

    coulda picked on Rosie, but that’s as easy as he is.

  257. Teafran kills another thread on Blogstory, excusively broadcast at MSN.com

    Um – what’s Blogstory?

    I also highly resent the threadkiller implication. I’ll have my lawyer’s lawyer contact your lawyer’s lawyer and we’ll get a lawyer to arbitrate.

  258. No one kills a thread like Sean. Hell, not even me.

  259. eddiebear + mare = cool

  260. Woohoo! I just found 4 1-lb bags of storebought cookies on the top of the fridge. I knew there were some fucking snacks around here…

  261. Mare – You just wait until my Fake Internet Girlfriend gets back!!!!

  262. Mare:

    I was told there would be no math here.

  263. Some domestic advice:
    When cooking something using your wife’s good corning ware, putting the really hot glass lid in the sink and accidentally running cold water on it is not a good idea.

    Just sayin’

    But at least I’ll now have the ability to stimulate the economy by buying a new bowl and lid.

  264. Does Killian’s and chocolate constitute dinner?

  265. Ooooh, I found a caramel one.

  266. Folly – If there is one with peanut butter, you’ve run the gamut of nutritional requirements!

  267. “I was told there would be no math here.”

    I’m no mathematician, but 4 one pound bags of cookies sounds like a lot.
    xBrad are you going on the Hostage diet with me?

  268. Yes, I just had one. YUM.

  269. Um – what’s Blogstory?

    Go with it, killjoy.

    I also highly resent the threadkiller implication. I’ll have my lawyer’s lawyer contact your lawyer’s lawyer and we’ll get a lawyer to arbitrate.

    Nahhh. Too much bolshevik. How about a duel instead? Its quicker and the result is far more predictable.

  270. No one kills a thread like Sean. Hell, not even me.

    You rang?

  271. A 36-year-old Swedish countess divorcing a former CEO says she cannot live on $43 million.

    Marie Douglas-David, a former investment banker, says she has no income and needs her 67-year-old husband, George David, to pay her more than $53,000 a week — more than most U.S. households make in a year — to cover her expenses.

    Douglas-David has filed court papers showing she has more than $53,800 in weekly expenses, including for maintaining a Park Avenue apartment and three residences in Sweden. Her weekly expenses also include $700 for limousine service, $4,500 for clothes, $1,000 for hair and skin treatments, $1,500 for restaurants and entertainment, and $8,000 for travel.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,509717,00.html

    Bitch.

  272. It’s the lifestyle she was accustomed to. Pay up sucka.

  273. I’m no mathematician, but 4 one pound bags of cookies sounds like a lot.
    xBrad are you going on the Hostage diet with me?

    Nah, I’ll stretch these out for a least 4 days.

  274. A TAG Heuer was my first Swiss watch followed shortly after by a Rado

  275. It’s the lifestyle she was accustomed to. Pay up sucka.

    I’d buy that if they’d been married for years. They married in ’02 and the thing fell apart in ’04. I’d tell the free-loader to go take a hike.

  276. I’d get accustomed to that in about two hours.

  277. I’d get accustomed to a hell of a lot less than that pretty damn quick.

  278. I’d get accustomed to a hell of a lot less than that pretty damn quick.

    Okay but you have to cook AND clean.

  279. And with that, a thread dies.

  280. For some reason the header baby reminds me of Dennis Quaid.

  281. who are you, Jack Kevorkian?

    Why so quick on declaring every thread dead?

  282. It’s the lifestyle she was accustomed to. Pay up sucka.

    This is why no one who knows me would ever allow me to get appointed to the bench. I’d run out of reality to pick up and cluebat these people with. You know the sex just wasn’t THAT good, and only a fool pays for it once the knees get locked and she changes the locks.

  283. who are you, Jack Kevorkian?

    Why so quick on declaring every thread dead?

    More like Bones McCoy

  284. Umm…LAST111!!!!!!!!!!!1111

  285. He’s dead Jim!

  286. $43 million?

    What would you do with that kind of money. I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal, so much would not change in the beasn household.

    I could be an anonymous money-giver awayer.

  287. Bitch.– Folly

    heh heh heh.

    nice.


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