Maybe it’s the Firefly Sweet Tea Flavored Vodka talking…but today has been a pretty good day. Ohio State put an ass- whoopin’ on Penn State, and both Pupster Boys did yard work and managed to not impale each other with long-handled garden tools.
All in all, a win for the good guys.
I want to go drinking with this guy.
Hello Nobel Peace Prize losers. I hope you are having a great Friday thus far. You should be since this is Big Boob Friday. Also, welcome to Big Boob Friday.
HERE’s a picture of the new unemployment numbers. That must make Whiney McBlamerson proud.
I heard this song for the first time earlier this week and in my honest and factually correct opinion, it is an excellent song for a nice fall Friday.
I like Weezer (insert fucking lame gay joke here) but for one reason or another I never really got into them. But there are two things about them that are appealing: they write great pop songs, usually with sweet hooks, and they have a great sense of humor.
THIS is an all-time classic as is THIS but your musical selection for today has great potential.
Now onto the beauty. Today’s model is making her second appearance on this esteemed page but the first of 2009. I could not find any biographical information about her even after several seconds of looking.
This is really all you need to know: she’s smoking hot on fire like the blazing heat of a trillion white-hot red-hot suns, she’s endowed with natural bounty and she’s very likely smarter than you. Thank the Lord for beautiful women as you meet your Big Boob Friday model for today, November 6th, 2009, Danielle Riley. YAY!!!!
On a day very similar to this…
* in 1632, King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden died in battle. Can you imagine our metrosexual Celebrity in Chief in battle? Neither can I.
I bet he wishes HBO would hurry up and make a documentary about how he handles Afghanistan so he can watch it and see what happens. Idiot.
* in 1814, Antoine-Joseph “Adolphe” Sax was born in Belgium. He invented the adolphophone saxophone which I used to play between beatings in junior high.
* in 1832, Joseph Smith, founder of Mormonism and underwear, was born.
* in 1851, co-founder of Dow Jones and the first editor of Wall Street Journal, Charles H. Dow was born. He was also the great-grandfather of Tony Dow from Leave It to Beaver. Actually I just made that up.
* in 1854, John Phillip Sousa was born in Washington, D.C.
* in 1860, Abraham Lincoln was elected 16th President. His legacy was forever marred by the troubled union he inherited from James Buchanan.
* in 1900, tea-party activist Heinrich Himmler was born.
* in 1917, the Bolshevik revolution began with the capture of the Winter Palace.
* in 1946, Sally Field was born with this one body and this one life.
* in 1948, Glenn Frey of the Eagles was born.
* in 1952, the first hydrogen bomb was exploded by the U.S. at Eniwetok Atoll.
* in 1955, Skeletor Maria Shriver was born.
* in 1964, Living Colour lead singer Corey Glover was born.
* in 1978, the Shah of Iran placed the country under military rule while Jummah Carter was telling us to put on a fucking sweater. Idiot.
* in 1984, President Reagan eked out a victory over Mondale by winning 49 states. This remains a mystery to David Frum and David Brooks.
That should just about do it. You are now NOT the dumbest person in the world. You’re welcome.
I will be going on a hot date tonight with Mrs. Rosetta so whatever you’re doing won’t be as fun as that. Tomorrow night, the Indians and I have made plans to make fun of you and create stupid on this blog. Feel free to join me if you like.
Until then keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars STFU.
Cheers.
When I was looking for something good to use for my Reagan link, I found THIS. Please take the 10 minutes to watch it when you can. It will remind you how incredibly fortunate we were to have him as President. It will also probably make you cry like it did me.
This is a local station and I heard it last week. I hadn’t forgotten about it, but really thought someone would pick it up and run with it.
This gentleman’s son was out sick from school. One of the assignments sent home from the school to his son included a study sheet to help complete an assignment comparing the Magna Carta to the Bill of Rights. Liberal Middle School goes something like this:
Second Amendment: “We can get permission to own weapons to protect ourselves”
Fourth Amendment: “The police need a good reason to arrest someone. They usually need permission to search our homes.”
Listen and weep for our Country.
Happy hump day fakey interweb friends. Everybody loves bald guys. Not only are they hunky, if you rub their head you get seven years minutes of good luck.
Chris Daughtry. I don’t really know any of his music so pretend I linked an awesome tune here.
Taye Diggs. He’s married to a Broadway star. A girl one.
I don’t know who this guy is. I think his name is Alan. Or maybe it’s Steve.
Tyrese Gibson starred in Fast and the Furious. It’s a pretty crappy movie. I put it on mute and skipped to the parts where they take their shirts off.
Finally, Patrick Stewart. ‘Make it so.’ At the rate my hair is turning white I should look like this by the time I’m 35.
Have a terrific day. Your homework for this post is to find a bald guy and rub his head.
*puts on biohazard suit*
[UPDATE: Rosetta]
When you see a bald bear, that can only mean one thing…wiserbud is about to invent the “ass-bear”.
H/T: eddiebear, Jeff Ottoman, TittyFace Jenkins, Longrod Von Hugendong and your mom.
I would like to wish a hale and hearty fuck off to every woman out there who has ever criticized me for using Miss, Mrs, or Ma’am. My mother raised me to be polite and respectful, which means I’m gonna use Sir, Ma’am, Miss, Mrs, or Mr whenever the fucking situation calls for it. I don’t give a shit how old it makes you feel. It’s got nothing to do w/ age, I use it on 4 yr olds. And if you feel old it’s probably because you are old. Hint–45+ is pushing the old category ‘kay? And if your hair’s all white, and you’re drawing SS benefits then I’m pretty fucking sure that puts you square in the old category and right on Grim’s doorstep. Old, old, old, old, old! Kiss my ass. If you don’t want me using Miss, Mrs or Ma’am, then I’m gonna start calling you old hag, biddy, and crone. How’s that?!
I felt like a new post, so the rest of you can kiss my ass too. 
[UPDATE: ROSETTA]
[IMPORTANT UPDATE: PATTYANN (DON'T CALL ME A HAG, TI!)]
