If we are to believe that TFG doesn’t know what is going on at the State Department, Department of Justice (x2), or the IRS, it might be easier to ask the question in a different way: What part of the government that he is in charge of is he familiar with? 

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Does he know anything about the state of the military?  Answer: No.

Does he know that he ordered Homeland Security to back off of current immigration law? Answer: No.

Does he understand how tax law works? Answer: No.

Can he throw a baseball? Yougottabefugginkiddingme.

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So…what are we left with? An immature teenager that claims to know nothing about his job, is intellectually incurious, and who throws like a girl. Banana Republic, indeed.

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But don’t worry, he’s got an answer for everything.

Splits.


Moar splits.

Self shot (of someone else, obviously)

Warm legs.

Red dress.

Pushin’, but no cushion.

Strapped.

Belly ring.

The week begins. Stay ahead of it.

Don’t give me that look, young lady.

Is this seat taken?

So, what’s cooking?

Smells like fail.

Stay safe H2.

*jazz hands*

Yep, that’s exactly how many fucks I give about airlift today. Every C-5 I’m supposed to be controlling is broke somewhere in the world. Speaking of the C-5 (also known as the Aluminum Overcast), here’s a picture of A BOAT ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN’ PLANE.

Going to be a long shift. May have to self-medicate before lunch. If the quality and coherence of my posts start to improve around noon you will know that I am into the rum.

I may have mentioned that my arsenal of cool stuff has improved dramatically over the last few months. That reminded me to post a pic so you can revel in my awesome.

You’re Welcome!

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I wrote this song for Rush back in the ’70s. Geddy Lee and I were hanging out playing Dungeons and Dragons when he put down his bottle of 7UP and said, “MJ, how can I possibly portray myself as a bigger dork? I already wear women’s kimonos on stage, I look like your mom on crack, and given the chance to change my name to Count von Hugecock I decided to stay with Geddy?” I told me to write a song about a 19th century American novel. Fin.

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Today’s model is an import from a North African country called the Ukraine. She graduated with a marketing degree from BigTit U, with a 44-24-36. Past that, I don’t give a shit. Fuck you, I have big tits!!!111!!!! Please welcome a newbie….Sha Rizel.

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Yes, it’s true. I’ve been neglecting you and feeding you shit sandwiches for the sole purpose of busting out this magnificent hottie. “Don’t worry Tina, I’ll be good to you this time,” said Ike Turner. For you morons that are incapable of understanding metaphor, I’ve been bitch slapping you, but I promise to love you forever. This time. Swearsies.  Now take this test for me and go make me a sammich, ho.

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1204 – Baldwin IX, Count of Flanders is crowned as the first Emperor of the Latin Empire.

1568 – Mary, Queen of Scots, flees to England.

1770 – 14-year old Marie Antoinette marries 15-year-old Louis-Auguste who later becomes king of France.

1843 – The first major wagon train heading for the Pacific Northwest sets out on the Oregon Trail with one thousand pioneers.

1868 – President Andrew Johnson is acquitted in his impeachment trial by one vote in the United States Senate.

1920 – In Rome, Pope Benedict XV canonizes Joan of Arc.

1943 – Holocaust: The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising ends.

1975 – Junko Tabei becomes the first woman to reach the summit of Mount Everest.

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Drink of the Week:

Bourbon. Don’t fuck it up.

I like this one because he reminds me of this song.


This one means business, too.

Found this one on a hunky heroes webpage.

This one will give teh shirt right off his back.

I thought this one was cute, though this pic might be a bit much for H2.

Last, but not least.

Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.

3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray

4. The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle

5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner

6. I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

7. After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis

9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino

10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson

11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny

12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan

13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus

14. The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.
~ H. G. Wells

15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham

16. If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
~ Bob Hope

17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman

18. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon

19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino

20. I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino