Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring…
Today’s song is a long distance dedication to a really tough guy.
This week’s BBF model is a svelte young thing, born in 1988 (does quick math, carries the two, divides by zero) from the sunny land of England. She went to school to be a beauty something-or-other but decided it was easier to show tweedle-huge and tweedle-huger for a few quid. Please welcome Leanne Crow!
And the hunter, home from the hill.
We are gathered together to celebrate the life of MCPO, USN (retired, expired). Beloved husband and father.
He was born in the summer of 1879, exact date unknown because of the courthouse record fire of aught-seven, the seventh son and fourth daughter in his family. He was a precocious child, doted on and spoiled by his loving sisters. In high school he loved to play all sports but his first love was football, where as the team captain his senior year, he developed as a natural leader, encouraging his teammates with exhortations like “If ya ain’t cheatin, ya ain’t tryin”, and “who the fuck put my cup in the freezer?”
Let’s pause for a moment as MCPO’s nephew Bob Earl (or as his mom calls him, “Josh”), the third boy on his sister’s side of the family, renders this tribute.
Please be seated.
MCPO enlisted in 1909, just missing Teddy Roosevelt’s “Big Stick” World Tour. He served through two World Wars, Korea, Vietnam, Grenada, the Polyester Conflict, and the off-Broadway productions of Annie, The Lion King and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe. His military decorations include twelve Purple Hearts, various campaign medals, the Croix de Boix with “F” for Fabulous device, and the “White Pantaloon”. Not many people knew he wrote poems, mostly about life in the Navy. I have read a few that his family shared with me, and I was both entertained and very impressed with them. My favorites were “You Say Potay-to, I Say I Slipped and Fell On It”, “There’s Nothing Like Scrubbing a Gun in the Morning Sun”, and “Mistakes from Subic Bay”.
In retirement, after a long and honorable service to the nation, MCPO found joy in spending time with his family, square dancing, political activism, and, the thing he loved most. The game of golf. He spent hours on the links refining his game, whether in sunshine and blue skies, or slightly inclement weather, which, sadly, brought us here today.
Mrs. MCPO, incidentally whose phone number and email address are printed in the back page of the Memorial Brochure you are all holding, confided to me that he was lucid to the very end, and at peace with the end of his struggle. She asked me to share with each of you his final words, which were “Boy I sure hope there’s golf in heaven” and “Having a foot disease named after you isn’t as hot shit as I thought it was gonna be”.
Fair seas and fair winds Master Chief. We’ll never forget you, a shining beacon that helped us avoid the rocks close to shore.
I’m dedicating this poat to Not Mare, whom I have never not met. This is not Mare:
ATTENTION ON DECK!!!!!
It’s this week’s edition of BBF, only this time there’s a twist for you window lickers – none of the usual BBF wagons.
Rosetta has been on hiatus, or maybe he has had another bout of teh gout. Anyway, today you have me. This is my first attempt at this shit and anyone caught sniggering will be set on fire and stuffed in The Woodchipper®.
First a little school-eo for you damned fool-eos.
On previous June 24ths:
1314 – Scottish forces led by Robert the Bruce won over Edward II of England at the Battle of Bannockburn in Scotland.
1340 – The English fleet defeated the French fleet at Sluys, off the Flemish coast.
1509 – Henry VIII was crowned King of England.
1812 – Napoleon’s Grande Armee invades Russia.
1844 – Charles Goodyear was granted U.S. patent #3,633 for vulcanized rubber.
1861 – Federal gunboats attacked Confederate batteries at Mathias Point, Virginia.
1869 – Mary Ellen “Mammy” Pleasant officially became the Voodoo Queen in San Francisco, CA.
1896 – Booker T. Washington became the first African American to receive an honorary MA degree from Howard University.
1922 – The American Professional Football Association took the name of The National Football League.
1940 – TV cameras were used for the first time in a political convention as the Republicans convened in Philadelphia, PA.
1941 – Franklin Delano Roosevelt pledged all possible support to the Soviet Union.
1944 – Jeff Beck (Yardbirds) was born
1947 – Kenneth Arnold reported seeing flying saucers over Mt. Rainier, Washington.
1953 – John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier announced their engagement.
1962 – The New York Yankees beat the Detroit Tigers, 9-7, after 22 innings.
1964 – The Federal Trade Commission announced that starting in 1965, cigarette manufactures would be required to include warnings on their packaging about the harmful effects of smoking.
1968 – “Resurrection City,” a shantytown constructed as part of the Poor People’s March on Washington D.C., was closed down by authorities .
1975 – 113 people were killed when an Eastern Airlines Boeing 727 crashed while attempting to land during a thunderstorm at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport.
1982 – The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that no president could be sued for damages connected with actions taken while serving as President of the United States.
1997 – The U.S. Air Force released a report on the “Roswell Incident,” suggesting the alien bodies witnesses reported seeing in 1947 were actually life-sized dummies.
2010 – Apple released the iPhone 4.
And now, please take Carin’s panties off of your head so we can get on with the show.
For most of you, Spring Break will be a time of shuttling the kids around, catching up on chores, or will pass without a moment’s notice. For those of us in Florida, Spring Break will mean this:
The beaches will be off limits, due to the amazing amount of asswipes from all places North that believe college is actual work, and not a
4, 5, 6 year vacation in, and of itself. Read More…