Gardening Secrets

Small Boob Friday

Good day, hosefuckers!!!

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I know all you assface douches don’t like Ani, but Wiser will love this shit. It’s tuba playing faggots, a few other horns, and a little percussion just fucking around. Plus the drummer is a pretty good looking box licker so it fists our theme for the day.

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Do you like lesbians? I like lesbians, so today we’re going to explore the deep dark world of ballerina lesbianism…for science. Normally this weekly post–the first of its kind–would be devoted to ladies with large mammary glands. But not today piglets. Today, because yesterday was my birfinday, I reserve the right to replace the normal Friday cow with a true beauty. A stunning, gal that speaks Russian and Engrish. A chick that has one brown eye (your whore mouth; shut it) and one green eye. A gal that emails me, texts, me and stalks me 24/7. Please put down the BBD and put your hands together for MILA KUNIS!!!!!111!!!!!!!!1

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MJ, I love you. Cum back to bed.

Big Boob Friday

Hi friend.

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I wrote this song while on safari in Africa with Hunter S. Thompson, one of those mexican guys that has hair all over his face, and a bengal tiger. After reading the lyrics I apparently wrote, this is the only explanation I could come up with. Anyway, it’s a great song with a funky bass line and white guys pretending to be rasta and shit.

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Today’s model has never been seen before on BBF. I do not have a very large folder of her pictures that will be used in the event that I forget that it’s Friday, or I’m lazy, or a combination of both. Swearsies. Please welcome a BBF virgin, Danielle Sharpe!!11!!!!

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Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

Monday’s Motivational Muscle

Greetings, Monday fans, welcome to your weekly pick-me-up. And by me, I really do mean me, since I’m sure y’all think these are a bunch of dudes.

Haters gonna H8.

Happy Easter

Too bad Carin’s chickens ruined it.

Sodium Free!

It’s not Monday.  Yet.

Not Monday

Let’s see what’s in the funneh folder for today.
Still not tired of Grumpy Cat.

That Precise Moment…

Just some assorted pics…

Saturday Evening Pole

The old poat was getting stinky, so let’s have a new one!

Your dad used his iPad to forward me several racist jokes and to tell me that he likes this song because it reminds him of your mom.

Now, for the main event: It’s Boy vs. Ladyboy in The World Series of Pole!