Motivational Monday Muscle

Well, if you’re anything like me (unlikely) another week has flown by for you any can’t believe it’s Monday again, the best damn day of the week.

And if you don’t believe me, allow me to try my Jedi Mind Trick.
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Mondays are awesome, you are super-excited that the week has begun anew.

I got one more trick. It’s pretty impressive too.
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And much like Rosie has Kerry, I have Eva. Mmmmmm, Eva.
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Front squat? Push press? Not sure. Good either way.
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Looks like a supinated row, nobody snatches or deadlifts with this grip.
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This one’s for me.
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And this one’s for you.
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Now get out there and kick some ass today. Make me proud.

420 Comments

  1. First!

    That hasn’t happened in awhile, and kind of scares me. I hope everyone’s okay and you haven’t all abandoned me.

  2. I think one of those isn’t a boy. Good job!

  3. None of them are boys, silly Alice.

    And I lied, that last one is also for me.

  4. You’re right, they’re not boys, they’re 100% man.

  5. The Pope is resigning?

  6. #3 is the best pic today.

  7. That’s what I heard. He’s 85. I’m used to them doing the job until death, but I’m not sure what the precedent is here.

  8. #3 is the best pic today.

    Eva is very photogenic. We are blessed that she often has her photo taken.

  9. wakey wakey

  10. Well, the last Pope to step down was in 1415. So it’s not that common.

  11. ‘morning children. Thanks Leon. #1 works for me.

  12. That would explain what the priest was saying at Mass on Sunday…he’s Vietnamese, and hard to understand at first. I thought he was talking about sometime in the future. (Not my usual parish, I’m still at my grandfather’s. The Catholic churches here are still mostly segregated from when the white folks got upset that the coloreds wanted to attend their church, and it wouldn’t have looked Christian to have segregated communion cups so the white folks built the coloreds their own Catholic church. The Uganda Martyrs church gets the ‘less desirable’ priest, but I like him, he’s not an entertainer priest, and they’re friendlier at the colored church.)

  13. I like number 4. The rest have dicks, or we can’t really tell.

    Either way, I’ll go with dickless.

  14. Maybe he’s just been in Italy too long, and lost his German work ethic.

  15. Alice, there are very few black Catholics in the church services I’ve attended in Michigan.

    In Goshen Indiana, however, there were no white Catholics. If I wanted a Catholic service, it was en Espanol. The white folk were all Mennonite or Amish.

  16. G’morning, cool kids.

  17. #2 is too muscular for me.
    I have no standards whatsoever so don’t think I would turn her down or anything.

  18. Ha ha ahaaa … Vman.

  19. I am not Catholic, and I mean no disrespect, but my first thought was scandal of some kind.

    Apparently in addition to having no standards I am cynical as well.

  20. I bet he’s sick. Just tired of it all?

  21. The suggestion I’ve heard is that there’s something of a family rift over it. His brother is also a priest and wasn’t happy at all when Benedict became pope. Maybe that’s all there is, or maybe Benedict doesn’t want the papacy to be perpetually occupied by a tired, old man. He’s elevated a lot of cardinals in the last year or so, so I think we’ll know more about it when we see who the successor candidates are, as Benedict will have had a strong influence on who takes the job after him.

  22. It would be kind of hard for a priest to get Viagra, I’m guessing. I mean, what the fork do they need it for?

  23. Wait! In keeping with the spirit of the Monday joke I found that I do have 1 standard. If “she” is a tucker I will politely decline. Politely because “she” could kick my ass.

  24. I’m working a lot this week, so someone is going to have to pick up my slack. all day today, tomorrow morning, wed off (yea me!), Thursday I go in at 3 for an evening shift, then Friday I’m food running. All day Sat, all day Sunday.

    I picked up the Food running shift because the girl is pregnant and wants the night off. Plus, it’s EASY and good money. Plus I get a cool shirt. I just have to take food to the table.

    (plus, it’s kinda cool that the girl asked me, because it was the expo person, who can be kinda critical- she only asks those who she thinks are good)

  25. Is Thunder Thigh Thursday taken yet?

  26. I could buy that Leon. A selfless man trying to change the establishment rings true.

  27. Prepare for it – the WHite House is doing a pre- SOTUS media blitz.

    Just like the good little commies that they are.

    THey annouced it on the radio.

    I noticed that Nancy Pelosi started, on Twitter, yesterday.

    I think everyone needs to swarm in reply.

  28. I would if I were home.

    Don’t let them get away with this. LOTS of talk about how Obama’s going to deal with jobs now,but that we need to do everything with balance. Same old bullshit from his campaign.

  29. You snowed in, Andy?

  30. Expediters are the unsung hero’s of the wait staff. They usually make as much money as the line as well.

  31. Re: SOTU, they started that shit with SCOAMF talking about the rich paying their fair share. Go Galt.

    Also, when did Miley Cyrus start taking beauty tips from Guy Fieri?

  32. Oh, so now workplace bullying is a thing.

    Sounds more like someone doesn’t like to do what the boss says.

  33. Our Exp can be sorta mean. She’s a feisty (now pregnant) Messican. I think the best expediters have also waited tables, which she has not. She not bad considering that.

  34. He’s such an asshole, Roamny.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2013/02/state-of-the-union-2013-obama-aggressive-87440.html?hp=t1

    ““There are a surprising number of Republicans who seem to think that elections don’t matter, who are ready to block widely popular agenda items that the American people voted for in November,” former Obama campaign press secretary Ben LaBolt said, underscoring the elections-have-consequences attitude of the president’s brain trust.

    “Change isn’t going to happen behind closed doors — it’ll require continued use of the bully pulpit and the reengagement of the millions of Americans who volunteered for the campaign,” he added.”

    Apparently, Obama thinks that the only election that matters his HIS re-election. Plus, he wants us to believe that the election was based on an informed electorate, that isn’t currently paying attention to what’s going on.

  35. LOTS of talk about how Obama’s going to deal with jobs now

    Yeah, the last 4 SOTUS have been about jobs, too. Infrastructure this, balanced approach that. Same shit, different day. Or year.

    You pick.

    But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

    Who wants pie?

  36. Goodness, a Pope hasn’t resigned in 600 years?

    Well, a man’s got to know his limitations. Good for him.

  37. A CareerBuilder and Harris Interactive workplace bullying study from 2012 reported that 48% of respondents have been bullied by their manager. Another new study sought to determine why supervisors tend to bully their reports.

    You managers stop bullying!

  38. When I was an Expo I had 17 waitresses and 2 waiters flirting with me. Overall it was a good time. Except for the waiter that kept pinching my ass.

  39. Leon, I was surprised at first that there were black Catholics here. I think having their own church might have allowed the church to thrive. There were a few other white folk there, I think it was three generations of one family though since one was a deacon and one was an altar server.

    I’m sad now that Abp Chaput isn’t a Cardinal yet, he’d be an awesome Pope. I don’t think his work in Philadelphia is done yet, though.

  40. They are going to shift the conversation from deficit reduction to ‘growth.’ This is entirely predictable, which means the GOP will step all over their dicks in an effort to fuck it up as quickly as possible.

    Dem message: Growth through increased deficit spending and tax increases.

    GOP message: I like to rape people with my solid gold, Cayman islands, tax dodging dildo. Shit, I mean tax cuts spur growth. Shit.

  41. He followed up with a more bellicose weekly address, slamming Republicans for allowing automatic cuts “on seniors and middle-class families” to avoid closing “even a single tax loophole that benefits the wealthy.”

    That’s the clip I heard. I gave in to the Tourette’s.

  42. I gave in to the Tourette’s.
    Now that you mention it I find I have that disease as well.

  43. My guess is that we’ll see another boring speech made by a bored and boring man.

    One of the WS writers hit it on the head perfectly a few weeks ago:

    Problem statement
    My solution
    Americans agree with me
    Sensible approach
    Right thing to do

    Every speech is the same, now. It’s just a boilerplate sales speech.

  44. Oldie but goodie.

    http://imgur.com/Ok0bs

    Y’all have a good day.

  45. Off to the VA hospital for another Grandpa tuneup. I’ve gone so many times now that my phone has decided it’s where I work.

    You chilluns behave while I’m gone!

  46. assistant manager

  47. Driving is insane! They ran out of places to put snow. The merge lanes are gone so the on-ramp just dumps you into traffic. It’s like playing Russian roulette.

    The right and left lanes also turn into snow banks without warning.

  48. Or Russian craps.

  49. The rain didn’t help much, I take it?

  50. I’ve stopped listening to talk radio which I really enjoyed, I haven’t seen any TV shows that are topical (I watch NCIS mostly) and of course I don’t read a newspaper. I’ve kind of “dropped out.”

    I’m not opposed to violence but evidently I don’t enjoy watching a stupid, smug killer slow bleed his victim.

  51. Oh and to steal Pups line regarding this post, “the heart wants what the heart wants.”

  52. the heart is crazy

  53. “the heart is crazy”

    Bingo, my friend.

  54. Did you ever get straightened around last night, Mare?

  55. My respect for this Pope (which was already pretty strong) has sky rocketed.

  56. Pope Hotspur I

    Let the white smoke pour forth.

  57. I don’t want to jinx it Hotspur, but I’ve not been spammed this morning.

  58. Hahahahahaha

  59. I had a dream last night and some of the players were, Brad Pitt, Rush Limbaugh and assorted folks from my past.

    I think the Brad Pitt deal was related to channel surfing through Meet Joe Black the other day.

  60. >> Bingo, my friend.

    I’m not Catholic, but I do have respect for the man, recognizing his physical limitations for the position and stepping aside.

    Somebody on Twitter said the last time a Pope resigned, Richard III took a bad turn into a parking space in Leicester.

  61. I had a dream last night about this woman I knew a long time ago from another forum. It was very sexual in nature, and I’ve never even met her, and don’t even know what she looks like. I do know that she is about 28, so it’s all a bit disturbing.

  62. also I just quoted >> Bingo, my friend. because I like it when mare says “bingo my friend”. It was not related to papal resignations.

  63. Hostage Community Theater (last weeks edition):
    Mare on the phone with Mr. Mare last day of a two week trip.

    Mare: How did the hunting trip go?

    Mr. Mare: Good, Tommy may have shot the biggest buck in Texas this season.

    Mare: Fantastic. How’s Mr. Kickass (our cat)? How’s the house look?

    Mr. Mare: I just noticed we have plants. Ahhh, everything looks good.

    Mare: I think Home Depot has medium sized indoor palms.

    Mr. Mare: Good tip.

    Fin

  64. Hotspur, I actually look forward to sleeping, I’m an avid, vivid dreamer and my adventures in sleep make my real life pale in comparison. Maybe that’s my mind compensating.

  65. “Richard III took a bad turn into a parking space in Leicester.”

    Great line.

  66. *hands mare a sleeping pill and waits*

  67. I’ve had lots of dreams about the H2ers.

  68. I dunno, Dave. Most sleeping medications suppress REM sleep, so choose carefully.

  69. American media giving the Pope policy advice.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ASSHOLES!

  70. hush, I don’t want her completely out

  71. WHAT. THE. HELL?

    Read the quote. I really don’t understand these people. They are so very strange.

    http://therealrevo.com/blog/?p=93438

  72. How long has The Real Revo been “A High Capacity Assault Blog”? That’s funny shit.

  73. What do you think Waters means but her insane comment?

  74. It don’t matter. The contract was awarded to the lowest bidder and it’ll be your typical unworkable government POS.

  75. I think that she might be insane, and her uttering the comment was insane, but she’s likely speaking the truth. i.e. The surprise is that she spaketh it at all.

  76. When was the last time anyone was able to decipher a Maxine Waters comment?

  77. Other than some laundry and floor cleaning, and since my husband is out of town I have absolutely nothing to do today. Looks around, decides to build a robot.

  78. Maybe, I’ll “dance” for my cat some more. That’s always strange.

  79. My new MacBook Pro with retina display is great. I just wished they still made a 17″, but they don’t, so now I have a 15″ display.

  80. shrinkage

  81. Given that she’s an idiot in all matters technical, I suspect she’s just referring to the low-information voter data-mining machine that OFA owns. I don’t mean to diminish it’s importance, but as Jay and I have said, there’s nothing stopping anyone from building their own, it’s not magic.

    Heck, there’s a strong business case for building one for profit.

  82. hahahaha

    Does everything but ears and nose and gut get smaller with age?

  83. Who is going to be in charge of GIFs now that Pupster is gone?

    * eyes Cyn suspiciously *

  84. Although, my gut is getting smaller. I haven’t had a drop for weeks and I’m in an awesome diet zone. Meaning: not hungry and no desire for crap food/snacks.

    But as I’ve said before, I start doing well, get cocky and end up in a ditch with a chocolate bar and a wine box in my hands.

  85. Wait, Cyn killed Pups so there are no gifs now?

    I’m out!

  86. Rumors and lies!

  87. ” I haven’t had a drop for weeks”

    That’s not really true, I forgot about spending the night with my drinky sister and in order to get through it had a glass of wine. She actually said this to me with a seriously incensed tone:

    “What? You’re really not drinking? I put off going on my diet because I knew you were coming and I could have been so far ahead on my diet.”

    Meaning: It’s your fault I’m still fat.

  88. I haven’t had a drop for weeks and I’m in an awesome diet zone.

    That’s excellent, Mare. I will eat the donuts for you; I’m sometimes helpful that way.

  89. Heck, there’s a strong business case for building one for profit.

    Or three of them. Or more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credit_bureau

  90. Cyn, you’re an angel!

    Would you have cinnamon rolls too, I love those. And drink lots of Chardonnay.

  91. Different data, Stark. I’m talking about voting behavior records with current contact information. That’s what OFA has, it’s how they targeted people who would vote their way — if they voted — and told them who they needed to spur out of the house that day, or get absentee ballots to.

  92. I’ll get on that right now, Mare!

  93. Took me all of January to get back on the program after my Thanksgiving and Christmas “eat everything once and all the good stuff twice” break.

    Stupid carbs.

  94. What is this “carbs” you speak of?

  95. Dave, you’ve been a very nice inspiration. I enjoy hearing about your pants falling off.

    I mean, who wouldn’t?

  96. *rattles handcuffs in morse code*

    . . . _ _ _ . . .

  97. Heh. *winks, fingy pointy ka-pow kapow*

    *tugs pants back up*

  98. Different data, Stark. I’m talking about voting behavior records with current contact information. That’s what OFA has, it’s how they targeted people who would vote their way — if they voted — and told them who they needed to spur out of the house that day, or get absentee ballots to.

    I think you’re underestimating just how much information the credit reporting bureaus have (& can mine from the information they gather).

    & I wouldn’t be shocked if OFA was (perhaps legally, perhaps not) buying tons of information from the credit reporting bureaus.

  99. . . . _ _ _ . . .

    DAMMIT!

    brb

  100. I hope Pups isn’t in mortal danger.

  101. …. — .-.. -.. / — -. / .–. ..- .–. … –..– / -… . / .-. .. –. …. – / – …. . .-. . .-.-.-

  102. Hotspur just had a seizure in code.

  103. .-..
    .


    -.
    -…
    .
    .-
    .-.
    -..
    ..
    -.-.
    -.-
    .–.
    ..-
    -.
    -.-.
    ….

  104. Are people swearing at me in morse? Come on!!!

  105. NO! NOT THE SPATULA AGAIN!

  106. psst that’s not spatula it’s something else.

    also RUN!

  107. Haha, wordpuss mangles the multiple dashes.

  108. I’ve been off the diet wagon, intermittently, since Christmas. I at least try to stay away from wheat.

    But this past week I indulged in wheat several times (made homemade cookies & burger rolls over the weekend, too) and boy do I feel it. Itchy, bloated, sprouting horns, random senseless violence, broke into a zoo and killed all the reptiles, etc.

    Still, I don’t seem to give a shit about anything. It’s the weather. I’m in a pattern of comforting myself with homemade goodies. Primal foods are not cutting it.

    As soon as the weather warms up in Spring I tend to lose my appetite anyway.

    *dumps all the corpses over a bridge*

    SIGH. I’m going to regret all of this when Spring comes and I’m big and bloated with all these serial killings on my conscience.

    Swimsuit shopping in particular is going to be heartbreaking.

  109. I googled “fat girl in bathing suit crying” and found this:

    http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/354s75/

    The internet, although an asshole, is also very funny.

  110. >> Swimsuit shopping in particular is going to be heartbreaking.

    It doesn’t sound heartbreaking.

  111. *wonders when Lauraw developed a conscience*

  112. It’s impossible to avoid wheat in eastern Oklahoma. And there are no non-canned veggies here this time of year. I’ve decided to embrace the chicken-fried steak and behave when I get home.

    When my grandfather decides my grandmother is talking too much, he turns off his hearing aids, and my grandmother’s batteries died on the way into town.

  113. wheat wheat wheat wheat wheat wheat wheat wheat wheat

  114. Alice, there’s no frozen vegetables?

    *wonders when Lauraw developed a conscience*

    I ate so many carbs I grew one. Frickin’ wheat.

  115. So, some are already calling for the first black pope.

    Yeah, guys, elect a pope based on the color of his skin. What could go wrong?

  116. The only thing non-paleo I ate yesterday was the spiced, stewed beef. And the wheat bread. And the ginger & yellow pease. & the spiced lentils. & the cabbage & potatoze[sic]. & the wheat beer. & the coffee. With milk. & the potato chips. & the cheese & crackers.

  117. Can anyone be elected Pope?

    If so let’s just make it the SCOAMF so he can drop the pretense of being god on earth.

  118. Can anyone be elected Pope?

    I think the only criteria is that it be a man.

    That leaves out the SCOAMF.

  119. Haha.

  120. And he’s not exactly black either.

  121. hahahaha

    Yeah, when will the dipshits figure out, he’s HALF black, raised by an old white woman.

    And I too question his manhood. Really, if that pussy asked you out would you go…ah, no. My rule of thumb, don’t date anyone more feminine than myself. He’s out.

    Michelle is perfect for him, she’s the man in that household. So he can be “present” in all family issues.

  122. SCOAMFINO

  123. This is about SSG Clinton Romesha’s teammates:

    http://www.army.mil/medalofhonor/romesha/team.html

  124. *dates Cyn*

  125. Laura, there is frozen broccoli, Normandy blend (which contains broccoli) and frozen starchy vegetables like corn and peas. I can’t eat much broccoli or it starts interfering with my thyroid meds. I bought some salad greens but for some reason they mold after a day (happened twice) – probably because I’m the only person to ever buy them.

    The nearest full-size grocery store is a half hour away, the nearest good grocery store is an hour.

  126. Holy schnikes!

    I thought this week’s edition of Load HEAT would be a bit of a dud, as it’s someone no one has ever heard of.

    I’ve already tripled my daily average traffic. And virtually all of it came from facechimp. Very odd.

  127. I thought this week’s edition of Load HEAT would be a bit of a dud, as it’s someone no one has ever heard of.

    She has a nice . . . long . . . neck.

  128. The museum has a cute research assistant as well.

  129. *sproing*

  130. Laura:

    http://tinyurl.com/acucq5s

  131. We’re in Muskogee today so we’ll probably have lunch at Golden Corral, which has a decent salad bar, though, and they had a non-breaded chicken leg when we were there last week.

    I can’t wait to go home.

  132. *dispatches two flying monkeys to xbrad’s house*

  133. I find no comfort at all in wheat anymore. I feel so much better with meat sweats that it’s just no contest.

  134. I thought the monkeys were still grounded due to weather?

  135. Hey, I’m no Pupster, but I know what I like:

  136. I can’t remember the last time I had pasta, potatoes, and cereal. I’ve completely given those up and don’t miss them at all.

  137. meat sweats? Is that like hot flashes?

  138. You named your cat Mr Kickass?

  139. Meat sweats are what happens when you eat so much meat it raises your core temperature. For me that’s 2+ lbs in one sitting.

  140. If I ate two pounds of meat in one sitting I’d be cold as a stone.

  141. I’ve had as many as 3. It’s been awhile, I’m not sure if I could do it right now. I’ve shrunk since then.

  142. I used to be able to eat three pork chops for dinner. Now I’m lucky if I can finish one.

  143. Dang, I’ve eaten about 1lb of ribs in one sitting & I thought I was going to die. The nap was awesome, though.

  144. MJ, that’s his online name.

    His “home” name is either:

    “love bunny,” “Lil Bow,” “Lovey” “Freak” “My little Baby” “Good boy” “Sweetie” “Funny Man” “Sweetness” “Sweetface” or “Bobo.”

  145. I just put the laundry on the bed and he couldn’t wait to snuggle under it.

  146. My cat’s name was Cat.

  147. http://tinyurl.com/bjmla26

  148. What’s his name at the vet’s office?

  149. Mine’s name is Max, or Asshole (if he’s punching the poor ol’ dog).

  150. Sox’ name is “Sox” but he’s more used to being called “Damnit!”

  151. Studs:

  152. I think the next door neighbor’s dog is named ShitForBrains.

  153. Mr Kickass has been neutered, had all his shots and hangs out inside. He can go in the back yard and hunt moles and what not but is confined to home and back yard. He hasn’t been to the vet since he was neutered.

  154. His “home” name is either:
    “love bunny,” “Lil Bow,” “Lovey” “Freak” “My little Baby” “Good boy” “Sweetie” “Funny Man” “Sweetness” “Sweetface” or “Bobo.”
    ——————————
    Mr. Kickass is better.

  155. Most definitely MJ. And he is Kickass, he makes me laugh out loud every single day.

    He loves games, fetching, chasing, he’s a kick in the ass hence……

  156. Come to think of it, I rarely call my girls their real names. It’s nothing for them to hear me call them something other than their name.

    I called my youngest Chou Chou a lot and I have no idea why. Pooh (notice spelling) Face, and Sweetness comes out a lot too.

    Terms of Endearment for sure.

  157. Hey, I’m no Pupster,

    Lucky you.

  158. We rarely call Ginger & MaryAnn by their names.

  159. Trudy came with the name. The lady who found her named the dog after her recently dead mother or aunt or something.

    The foster people kept calling her Trudy, and we thought it suited her.

  160. Pups, you’re holding out on the gifs. What gives?

  161. I’m a little tied up at the moment.

    *continues gnawing at restraints*

  162. When my girls call my husband, it always makes me laugh when he answers, “Hi Freak, what’s up?”

  163. Oh, I also call my cat and my girls “Angel” a lot.

  164. I added the martini video to the H2 recipe site. Mrs MJ tried to cut my head off, but that sort of didn’t work.

  165. My wife calls our daughter Ducky or Chicky. She’s 44.

  166. I added the martini video to the H2 recipe site. Mrs MJ tried to cut my head off, but that sort of didn’t work.

    There’s a recipe site? Damn, this place has everything.

  167. It only has that because… certain people… hate when we do recipes on the main site.

  168. You bruised that martini pretty badly. I’m calling alcohol abuse.

  169. Drink and a show. The customers liked that shit, especially from a girl that moved with the shaker.

  170. MJ, keep the videos coming, they make this place less, oh, how you say…..shitty.

  171. EconTalk this week is Russ Roberts (Austrian economist) interviewing a gender-obsessed female mathematician who used to work at a hedge fund and is now an occutard. Proof that you can teach someone math, but cannot make them think.

  172. MJ, your triceps are looking good.

  173. >> it always makes me laugh when he answers, “Hi Freak, what’s up?”

    My standard daughter greeting is “what’s up babygirl?” Occasionally “heya goober what’s up?”

  174. Good day, motivational tweakers.

  175. We better get started banning this 3D printing stuff:

    http://nextbigfuture.com/2013/02/open-source-3d-printer-prosthetics-and.html

  176. My dad called me “JR”. I called him “Chief” or “CH”.

  177. My husband is completely fascinated by the 3-D printing process. He was talking about it a year ago.

  178. That didn’t work. Try this:

  179. MJ, your triceps are looking good.
    ——————
    Thanks. Trying hard to get into better shape.

  180. The five year old kid with a new robot hand is pretty precious, I gotta say.

  181. That’s how Darth Vader started out. I’m just saying is all.

  182. Kids are so adaptable and awesome. That is a great story.

    Kids kickass!

    (except for my friend’s son who is a fat, lazy, do-nothing, nasty, ungrateful asshole)

  183. hahahah Sean.

  184. Vader was doing fine until he failed to sell that whiny snot kid of his on the virtues of the Dark Side. Don’t fault him for Luke’s unwillingness to seize destiny.

  185. Oh man, people are funny, this is from Ace’s Pope thread:

    265 I’m not a Catholic, but I did stay at an Holiday Inn Express last night.
    Posted by: Soona at February 11, 2013 01:45 PM (drE9i)

  186. Mrs MJ lost a diamond stud at the Vatican.

    Did it magically return? Nope.

    Did they offer a relic in exchange? No.

    Did they grant me 3 wishes? No.

    Did our tour take us to the gift shop 3 times? Yes.

    Did the guy from Forrest Gump, but with a mullet, not a crew cut help solve the mystery? No.

    Worst honeymoon ever.

  187. Vader was doing fine until he failed to sell that whiny snot kid of his on the virtues of the Dark Side.

    I kind of think he made a lot of bad decisions before that. Like that one time where he murdered a bunch of children because he had a bad dream about his wife. But maybe that’s just me.

  188. I wouldn’t know, Sean, I didn’t see that shitty George Lucas fan-fiction.

    I suspect he inserted that bit of fiction just to artificially frame Vader as some kind of villain. Lucas never understood Star Wars, so that’s the simplest explanation.

  189. Lucas made Anni into the most special snowflake of all. I H8 the prequels. We call Gingy, Ginjar Binks.

  190. If Jar-Jar had instead been a member of a tribe of blazing hawt red-head chicks, the prequels might have been watchable.

  191. Tough choice today, was going to go with the great smile in the last picture, but then noted xbrad’s load heat, that girl wins.

  192. Lucas never understood Star Wars

    Not gonna disagree with you there. (scroll down to #2)

  193. Crap – I think I’ve finally caught the hubby’s cold.

  194. Crap, Cyn. Hydrate and get well soon.

  195. “Crap – I think I’ve finally caught the hubby’s cold.”

    You were “kissing” weren’t you? I warned about that!

  196. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/02/11/shooting-reported-inside-courthouse-in-delaware/?test=latestnews

    This story is awful, but check out the last paragraph. I’d like to have that guy on my legal team.

  197. You were “kissing” weren’t you? I warned about that!

    Now that you mention that… I shoulda found another way to tip that Valet on Saturday.

  198. Here, Cyn, I made you some soup.

    http://tinyurl.com/b9k95ar

    It’s from a recipe MCPO posted, so be sure to thank him.

  199. Gee, I think I feel better already, Sean. Um, thanks anyways though!

  200. I could not speak at my dad’s funeral service last March.

    Chris Kyle’s wife is made of sterner stuff, and she is honoring his memory in a great way.

  201. Glad to see that you made it home in one piece, Pupster.

  202. http://tinyurl.com/2wk9xhu

  203. Really, Sean, you missed a chance to make fun of the only Hostage with full upper and lower dentures?

  204. I forgot about that, b-rad. It’s just that most of us, when pressed, automatically associate you with inflatable animals, not false teeth.

  205. Glad to see that you made it home in one piece, Pupster.

    Thanks babe. I’m glad your freezer was already full of hobo.

  206. Well, sure, but who wants to see an inflatable sheep in their soup.

  207. Well, sure, but who wants to see an inflatable sheep in their soup.

    That’s a negative for me.

  208. I’m glad your freezer was already full of hobo.

    Heh heh. SHHHHH!

  209. California may be retarded, but at least we don’t have this…

    (Yes, I am aware of the fraud involved, but like the book says, If it’s not close, they can’t cheat.)

  210. I remember when Franken was funny; as in “Ha Ha!”, not “WTFF??!”

  211. No contact yet from the other folk, but I only formally expressed interest on Friday. I now have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I really don’t know what I want to happen at this point, as I’m not sure any outcome will bring me closer to happiness.

    Such ennui is my fate.

    *cries in hoodie*

  212. Home is the sailor from the sea, the hunter from the hill.

    RIP Chris Kyle.

  213. I remember when Franken was funny

    MOM, Cyn’s hallucinating again!!!!

  214. I guess Westboro Baptist Church decided not to be conspicuous after all.

  215. Fuck you, Mare!
    No, Fuck you, XBrad!

    http://tinyurl.com/afe6nf8

  216. We had a Welsh pony when I was a kid who was crafty like that. He took my little brother under a clothesline one time and drug him off. About half his face was a scab by the next day. When I would saddle him he’d nonchalantly step on my foot. I’d push him off and then piss and moan and hop around for a while before I finished saddling him. I told my dad about it one day and he told me to double up my fist and slug him in the jaw. I told him the pony was doing it on accident and he set me straight. “Horses always know exactly where all four of their feet are. They evolved specifically that way. He’s doing that shit on purpose just to be mean.” So the next time he did it, I walloped him as hard as I could in the jaw. It felt so good I did it again with the other fist. That was the last time that cocksucker ever stepped on me.

  217. Fuck you, Mare!
    No, Fuck you, XBrad!

  218. Well….

  219. That’s done then. Afternoon.

  220. Jewstin!!!!

    //man, it’s slow here right now.

    //I’m easily excitable.

  221. We have 3 people out on travel this week, it’s been eerie quiet all day.

  222. Decaf is your friend, Xbrad. I just got back from Nebraska.

  223. Decaf is teh debbil!!!

    Also, why Nebraska? Family stuff?

  224. Decaf is dangerous. The caffeine is a natural anti-microbial, and removing increases the chances of funky stuff living in your coffee beans/grinds.

  225. That’s a funny horse story, PG. I love stories about horses being sadistic bastards. Don’t know why, it just cracks me up because you don’t think they’re that way.

    *sprinkles tiny mushrooms in leon’s poat*

  226. *sprinkles tiny mushrooms in leon’s poat*

    WHY!? WHY DO YOU MOCK ME!?

    THE MYCOTOXINS WILL KEEEEEEL USSSSS AWWWLLLLLL!

  227. Seriously, though, that’s why coffee plants make caffeine, it’s a pesticide. Same as tobacco and nicotine.

  228. Tomorrow is already Mardi Gras? Holy Cow (so to speak).

  229. Yeah. Grandma died. My folks are already stuffing crap in boxes. They can’t wait to get out of Nebraska.

  230. Fffft. You probably ingest more mold spores every time you clear your throat than what you’d find in processed coffee.

  231. I don’t see that as any reason to add to the count by making my coffee less worth drinking.

  232. Sorry, Jewstin. I knew that, and yet I’m so self absorbed, I kinda pushed it to the back of my brain.

  233. Laura….

    http://tinyurl.com/a3qkkmm

  234. My cousin just sent me a photo I could post, but I don’t know if it’s appropriate. I’m wearing a shirt.

  235. Rough morning, Pupster?

    http://bunnyfood.tumblr.com/image/42037577609

  236. xbrad, I had a vision like that last time I dropped acid while camping. Turned out to be a rabbit.

  237. Oh. And there’s a corpse in the background.

  238. Oh. And there’s a corpse in the background.

    Wait, you were at the Pupster/Cyn meatup?

  239. Wait, you were at the Pupster/Cyn meatup?

    Shirts weren’t allowed there, I heard.

  240. Release the hounds!

    http://tinyurl.com/bg7k6o7

    Close enough.

  241. Speaking of releasing the hounds, xbrad – did you see my link at 1:31 above? Different kind of fighting vehicle…..

  242. I saw that, AD. There’s a similar one with a Humvee somewhere. I’ll have to look for it.

    You sit and wait patiently.

  243. You sit and wait patiently.

    I am an obedience school drop-out.

    And it is now drive time. Later.

  244. That jackass Rosetta always teases me about being a computer moron, my daughter just walked me through something I was trying to transfer. I texted her, “It worked!!” and she texted back, “I’m so proud.”

    hahahahahah

  245. Leon did you see this?

    http://is.gd/vYXN0F

  246. I actually have a troll at my place.

  247. XB, really? A guy goes to Load Heat and cries about “objectifying” women? Bwah ha ha.

  248. Leon, did you ever make beef jerky?

  249. Oso, that’s pretty much the least objectified LH I’ve ever posted.

  250. Regarding the knowledge Maxine Waters put to us….would explain why Roberts changed his ‘vote’ on commiecare.

  251. ‘Rob’ sounds like a chick. I bet it’s Vanessa, or a friend of hers.

  252. Leon, what’s a better investment right now, gold or silver?

  253. XB, I know. I agree with lauraw. Sounds like a chick.

  254. Well, there’s a guy with his full name floating around the webs, and it’s a fairly… unique name.

  255. XB, really? A guy goes to Load Heat and cries about “objectifying” women? Bwah ha ha.

    I nearly peed my pants with delights. “He” has managed to hit every single stupid leftisque cliche.

    I think I’m in lie. Lpve. lubr. fuck it

  256. Must be a liberal then. Bet he wears mom jeans.

  257. Stark I gave you a thumbs up on your “all three” comment. hahahahaha

  258. Just finished with the troll at XBrad’s. hahahahahaha.

    Lay off the gluten or get a follow-up with your doctor, your dick implant isn’t working.

    I love you, Beasn, and I want to have your babies.

  259. Beasn, that was awesome. Can I birth your next batch of piggies?

  260. OTOH, Vanessa is lovely

  261. I don’t know when I’m doing the next installment of quality butt blogging here, but I *do* know this pic will be included.

    http://tinyurl.com/a7s5ptj

  262. Pussy perch

  263. I denounce myself, in the name of Rob

  264. Leon did you see this?

    I hadn’t, thanks. He’s pretty badass.

    Leon, did you ever make beef jerky?

    I have made it in the past, but haven’t made any recently. Had I stated that I had plans to? If so, I’ve forgotten.

    Leon, what’s a better investment right now, gold or silver?

    Silver. That way there are fewer impurities in the tequila if you need to cleanse wounds or wash surgical implements with it.

  265. Who’s Vanessa?

  266. Go to Xbrad’s place

  267. Beasn, you are (& have been for a long time) my fucking hero. If I was drunk right now I would try to hug you.

  268. Mare,

    Stop it. I’m blushing & you’re making me feel like a 13 year old fag.

  269. Ah, yes, she’s adorable.

  270. When was the last time Aggie Sith checked in here?

  271. I’m not a huge Star Wars fan, but I always wondered why Luke didn’t get pissed off when he found out his twin got to be a princess and live a life of luxury while he got stuck in some shithole in the desert. Not one WTF????

  272. It’s been a while Stark. I miss her.

  273. Pepe:

    Envy is a sin. Luke was better than that. Though, I guess he was a whiney jackass from a farm town.

  274. Because Lucas’s characters aren’t human, Pepe.

  275. Star Wars sucks. I loved that shit up until I realized girls have v-spots.

  276. b-rad, I think I’m in yer spam bukkit.

  277. Comment by leoncaruthers on February 11, 2013 7:39 pm
    Because Lucas’s characters aren’t human, Pepe.
    =======
    Kinda doubt that Lucas is human. WTF is up with that goiter thing anyway.

  278. I agree, MJ. Nerds get a ton more punanny frontin’ tha Ranma ½ & such like.

  279. Fished you out, Sean. Thanks for the heads up.

  280. I thought they proved the v-spot wasn’t real.

  281. You call that a goiter? THIS is a goiter!

    http://tinyurl.com/ac55kbs

    Now pass the iodine, willya?

  282. I agree, MJ. Nerds get a ton more punanny frontin’ tha Ranma ½ & such like.
    ———————–
    I don’t speak Pashtun. Try this for translation.

  283. Nerd girls are easy. You just have to have bathed relatively recently and not be a tubbo.

  284. Nerd girls are easy. You just have to have bathed relatively recently and not be a tubbo.

    Dangit.

  285. **POOF**

    Y’all rang? :D

  286. Oh shit, you guys, he’s onto us!

  287. Aaaaaaaagggggggggiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hey.

  288. :D :D :D

  289. Hi Aggie, you look nice this evening.

  290. I am a wizard! …… or a wizard assistant!

  291. I think that’s the longest banshee yell of my nick ever, MJ.

    *gives MJ a cookie AND milk*

    *waves to Stark*

  292. How you been Aggie and why are you shunning us?

  293. Is it Brewfan?

  294. I was unplugged there for a while. I was sick, still going through PT, and my kids’ school schedules on the weekends are insane.

    *gives Scott the Magic Wand Treatment™*

  295. It’s yaganov fak.

  296. Scott, I’ve seen you and I’ve seen magic shows, and you aren’t cute enough to be a wizard’s assistant.

  297. Shut up Leon.

  298. I’m just sayin’, it’s wizard or bust for you, man.

  299. For example, every Saturday in February my kids have three UIL meets per day, plus Eldest is tasked with representing her AFJROTC at various military balls for the other schools in the area. And NOTHING is at the same place, ever.

  300. UIL?

  301. I still can’t believe those fuckers anachronated(?) Red Sonja to the Conan time-period. Senseless violation of the premise.

  302. heeroooow

  303. I bet it’s Brewfan.

  304. Rob cried uncle.

  305. University Interscholastic League. The Nerd Bowl, as we used to call it in school, Brad. Kids compete for placement in various areas, like Science, Math, Number Sense, Poetry, etc.

  306. I just assumed UIL = United Islamic Liberationists. Maybe they’re not telling you something.

  307. WTF is NumberSense? Is that like Math for people that can’t do math?

  308. dambit, I love this kid: http://onconservatism.blogspot.com/2013/02/on-bible.html

  309. HA! Number Sense is just doing the math problems in your head, as opposed to working it out on paper or with a calculator.

  310. Sounds like numerology to me.

  311. Voodoo for Nerds™

  312. just doing the math problems in your head, as opposed to working it out on paper or with a calculator.

    —————————————–

    Points off for mumbling to yourself, using fingers or sticking out your tongue sideways?

  313. Have you recovered from your t-boning Aggie?

  314. HA! Probably :D

  315. Can I do binary on my fingers and toes?

  316. Still going to PT for it, Scott. I swear, it’s like being on The Rack without the Catholics.

  317. My mother won number sense for the state of Texas many, many years ago.

  318. aught from aught is naught

  319. Highest I ever got for Number Sense was fourth place :(

    But I did distinguished myself in Science, Prose, Poetry, and some other thing I can’t remember.

  320. Highest I ever got for Number Sense was fourth place

    I knew it – we ARE twins!!!!!! :P

  321. Chocolate strawberries for my girls, ordered.

  322. chicks kinda dig those

  323. Scott, you’re not really mad that I said you weren’t cute, are you?

    I’m not going to take it back or anything, I’m just curious.

  324. We do, Dave. Indeed we do.

    Unfortunately, Hubby can’t order those for moi this year. I give up chocolate for Lent, and Valentine’s falls the day after Ash Wednesday :(

  325. *high fives Teresa* :D

  326. Chocolate strawberries for my girls, ordered.

    Viddy ye, ma droggies, Dave ponymat math right proper in his Mozg.

  327. *gives up papacy for lent*

  328. Did anybody salt anybody else’s wounds today?

  329. *gives up papacy for lent*

    WINNAH!!!!

    Did anybody salt anybody else’s wounds today?

    Yeah, but the chicken was already dead, so it didn’t count.

  330. Lent is for quitters.

    *sends Sean some chocolate strawberries*

  331. I would bat my eyelashes at you, dave, but you would probably puke.

  332. I salted some pork tenderloin before I steamed it.

    Pretty sure that counts.

  333. Just previewed my Valentine’s Day blog post to Mr. TiFW and DD#3 – grossed DD#3 out (“I don’t like thinking about my parents doing that!”)

    My job here is done :P

  334. I’m giving up facechimpdouche for Lent.

  335. I just did the Girlie Drink for H&B tomorrow. I don’t recommend it…

    Have a good one! Off to go watch a movie :D

  336. I’m giving up facechimpdouche for Lent.

    Beat you to it :)

  337. We told DD#3 that FWIW, we don’t like thinking about our children “doing that”, either.

    (And Mr. TiFW pinkie-swore to her that nowadays we only cuddle….)

  338. “I don’t like thinking about my parents doing that!”

    *thinks about wife* snicker
    *thinks about parents* oh, NONONONONONONO NASTY

  339. Does it count if I don’t drink during Lent?

  340. That’d be like me giving up bread for Lent, Sean.

  341. Can I give up Lent for Lent?

  342. I’m giving up alligator wrestling for lent.

  343. I am not much for awwww moments, but this one is good:

    http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-TV/2013/02/11/Medal-of-Honors-Son-Steals-Show

  344. It counts a lot Sean, you eye brow batter you.

  345. I might, might be able to go 40 days without chainsaw juggling.

  346. My list of abstinences is already quite lengthy. I’m not sure what I’d want to give up temporarily this year. Last year was coffee, and it wasn’t really a challenge, I just ended up drinking tea instead.

  347. I’m giving up jello wrestling this year.

  348. I’m giving up stalking Cyn for Lent.

    But only for Lent.

  349. I’m giving up jello wrestling this year.

    I just gave up something myself.

  350. So with the pressure in my head from this flu/cold/ebola thing, is there a sweet-spot for drilling a hole in my head to relieve this? TYIA

  351. •But only for Lent.

    •I just gave up something myself.

    *blushes*
    You boys says the sweetest things.

  352. Don’t listen to anyone that recommends a Neti Pot. TIA.

  353. Cyn, you might try a hot bath or some spicy food to break up the mucus. XBrad probably has a camera in your bathroom, so choose wisely.

    OTOH, he’s about to not use it for 40 days, so might consider it a kindness.

  354. >>HA! Number Sense is just doing the math problems in your head, as opposed to working it out on paper or with a calculator.

    Isn’t that how you are supposed to basic arithmetics? We were not taught to do basic maths using pen and paper.

  355. Fastnacht Day is tomorrow!

  356. Save one for me, Chief!

  357. Don’t listen to anyone that recommends a Neti Pot. TIA.

    Hate ‘em. Can’t use ‘em (apparently my nose is some kind of aftermarket thingy that doesn’t run right) & am kinda creeped out by the concept anyway.

    OTOH, my wife loves hers, & it actually did lessen the terrific ague she suffered from last year.

    I’ve found that pressing (quite hard) on various bits of my face (orbital ridges, & cheekbones & such) until I get a *click* inside my head works wonders for relieving sinus pressure. & long, hot… showers.

  358. There are 11 kids in my kid’s class. I have to buy 22 Valentines cards. Wasn’t Valentines originally intended for people who are romantically in love with each other? When did that morph into this barbarism where you basically give a valentines day card to every one you are not actively trying to kill?

  359. I don’t have the stuffy head (yet anyway; if I even get it). I’m beginning to think that this is more of a flu virus: tired, body aches, tired, scratchy throat, tired, headache, and tired. It’s tiresome after a while just to hold my head up.

    A hot soak in the tub would probably do me wonders but the only tub available at the moment is the one in the boys’ bathroom and I am NOT going in there.

  360. Stark, putting a dollop of Vicks Vaporub on the shower stall floor and then taking a long hot shower works wonders.

  361. When did that morph into this barbarism where you basically give a valentines day card to every one you are not actively trying to kill?

    Probably about the same time that it became fashionable for the birthday child to give a ‘party bag’ to every party attendee. *rolls eyes* Oh, and don’t forget that you have to tape some sort of candy treat to each Valentine or your doin’ it wrong.

  362. … is the one in the boys’ bathroom and I am NOT going in there.

    Can’t say I blame you. I crapped in there once.

  363. When I was in elementary school it was expected that you gave a valentine to everyone. By 3rd grade, though, nobody gave them to anyone, unless you were some kinda homo who had a girlfriend.

  364. I thought we agreed never to mention that, Xbrad.

  365. Just so you know, St. Valentine was jailed, beaten and beheaded. His letters to his congregation, relayed the love of the Christ.

  366. I LIT A MATCH!!

    Hey, it was YOUR cookin’.

  367. I am afraid that as I twist the knife into my sworn enemy, his dying words would be, “if you were planning to kill me anyway, couldn’t you at least give me a card on last Valentine’s day?”

  368. Gravity or the flu is insisting that I get horizontal again.
    Love, hugs, and air kisses to you internet peoples.
    Sweet dreams to all.

  369. Chief,
    Let’s not even go there. They have twistec every Christian tradition anyway. How the hell did a fucking rabbit enter the Easter observance?

  370. Oh dang, I’m going to just giggle about all the horribly dirty things involving Vap-o-rub, moustaches, & cunnilingus I’m thinking about; rather than posting it, eww. Nasty. Ugh, no. Family ‘blorg’. yuck.

    Good night.

  371. From the twitters mentioned in the ONT, it sounds like the Norks popped a nuke test.

  372. XB, I’ve been seeing that too.

  373. Well, we knew it was coming.

  374. Smart Diplomacy FTW.

  375. Of course, tomorrow, TFG will call for a further reduction in our nuclear forces.

  376. There are 10 people who like binary, leon and roamy.

  377. And….we’re back. Went about half an hour there where I couldn’t get H2 to load.

  378. I’ve been feeling so much older
    Frame me and hang me on the wall.
    I’ve seen you fall into the same derp
    This thing is happening to us all.

  379. Good morning, good people.

  380. Morning mare et al

    I bought 4 packs of Valentine’s Day cards for our 3rd grader yesterday. They have a party (popcorn and juice boxes) and teacher gives a list of kids names. This is the last year they do it that way…next year Valentines cards are earned.

    He chose the WWE cards and the rest went into a bag with a note for his teacher to give them to kids who’s parents suck and didn’t buy them cards (or words to that effect).

  381. So, SOTU tonight? Will he sweet talk us before the bufu that’s he’s gonna give us?

    Drinking game phrases:

    Balanced Approach
    Let me be clear
    Millionaires and billionaires

    I’m sure you all know more.

  382. I’ve never watched an Obama SOTU address.

    I would like an update on how shitfaced Boehner looks.

  383. Yeah, when I hear his voice I hit mute or change the channel.

    Pretty funny when the kids, knowing my dislike for him, look at me for my reaction rather than the TV when he comes on.

  384. Mare is up too early.

  385. I get up early, but my husband is out of town so I have a different routine.

  386. Although today at 4:15 I was wide awake….that is too early.

  387. I got up, weighed in, fed and medicated my indoor animals, washed the dishes and cleaned the sink drains, then started coffee. It’s been a productive 30 or so minutes.

  388. Leon, you need to study Operations Research. You should start coffee first and then do the other chores. By the time you are done, coffee is ready.

  389. I would have started coffee first, but getting the animals to leave me alone is priority 1.

  390. The missus gets coffee ready the night before and runs down and hits the button while she showers. By the time I’m out of the shower she can sip coffee while doing her hair and yelling at the boys to get ready. Weekends I’m the coffee boy.

  391. before she showers…

  392. wakey wakey 2

    I had to do school bus duty for two boys who missed the bus.

  393. I hope you berated them appropriately for their lack of promptness.

  394. I like how 20-25 mph winds is considered “breezy”.

    Just because they were up to 50 mph yesterday.

  395. At least Gabby Giffords gets to go to SOTU tonight.

    I wonder what the topic will be…

  396. I AM THE POAT KILLER!

    Hear my roar!

  397. I can’t wait to hear about how obama’s gonna cut military spending-on the same Day the Norks test a nuke.

    Well played, NOrks.

  398. He’s going to talk about how he’s going to get rid of our nukes.

    What could go wrong?

  399. I’m about ready to start a dumpster fire and it’s only 6:45.

  400. The only reason there’s still a North Korea is that South Korea doesn’t want to pay to rebuild it. They’re probably waiting for one more generation to starve so it’ll just be mostly vacant land.

  401. I’m with Mare.

    Let’s burn this muthafocker down.

  402. So SOTU is going to be about gun control?

    I’ve got to say one thing about the lefties, they’re persistent.

  403. Carin, we miss you around here, and by we I mean everyone.

  404. Morning.

  405. Well, I try to make up for it on my days off. This week I have Wednesday off.

    I’ll be here ALL DAY.

    Mark your calendars.

    But I should check in both Thursday and Friday, because I only have night shifts (well -they start at 3) those days. All day on Sat and Sunday though.

    Man, arugula sure is expensive. It’s nice knowing that we have a first lady who understands our struggles.

  406. We do good work, Carin:

    http://tinyurl.com/a58ppjv

  407. Carin goes back to work in a restaurant hustling tables.

    Michelle has three weeks in Hawaii during the worst economy.

    Yes, we all have to sacrifice.

  408. We do good work, Carin:

    http://tinyurl.com/a58ppjv

    Woo hooo!!!!

    **Tosses shirt into fire, upends an electric car

    We just need Cyn now.

  409. Yes, we all have to sacrifice.

    By “we” she means “us.”

  410. *smashes empty bottle agains brick wall

    * yells FU FATASS!!

  411. *basks in the warm glow of the fire, and seething hatred

  412. Operations Research
    My professor wrote the book. That’s rarely a good thing.

    This week I have Wednesday off.
    Duly notes need for a redhead for HHD.

  413. “*basks in the warm glow of the fire, and seething hatred”

    *Yes, I’m feeling the fires of hatred fuel my workout this morning

  414. New post.

  415. I had to file my yearly ethics/financial report for work yesterday. Pisses me off that I’ll go to jail and fined into oblivion if I did 1% of what Menendez did with Melgen.


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