Good morning and welcome to the Super Bowl edition of Hunky Hump Day.
The Budweiser ad with the Clydesdale trainer seems to be a favorite. The trainer was Don Jeanes.
Another favorite was the Axe ad with the lifeguard.
I don’t remember how Vampire Diaries’ Matt Davis got in here, but here he is.
Same for Cristiano Ronaldo.
I got a chuckle out of the “It’s only weird if it doesn’t work” voodoo ads. Steve Talley is the guy wandering around NOLA.
Since it’s not a music video, I didn’t put it above the fold. Who needs a Diet Coke break?
Freeze frame!
That’ll do, I think, and I didn’t even get to the Calvin Klein ad or any of the football players.
Thank you for your attention, and y’all have a good day.
373 Comments
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I thought all the other Morons hated soccer.
Obligatory link to the gayest photoshoot you’ll ever see: http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2002/05/23/magazine/26fash.slideshow_1.html
It’s ten years old and I still haven’t seen anything quite so faaaaaaabulous.
I am deeply ashamed to be first on this thread.
Hey, thanks Alice!
You should still be deeply ashamed.
Mens! Hooray for Wednesday.
Drive time. Won’t be able to check webmail except from my phone all day. It will be agony not checking.
/sigh
Good luck Leon. Change is good.
Will it involve moving closer to Lapeer? Because otherwise I don’t care.
J/k.
Sorta.
I’ve got today OFF! YEA.
*looks around the house to everything I must clean/do.
Never mind.
Heh Carin
Morning V-man.
Morning.
Pull ups today? I did a 25 min ab dealio yesterday. I think I’m starting to get a 2 pack. Right below that is a mini beer belly, which seems odd because I don’t drink much beer anymore.
Waitress! This coffee cup isn’t gonna fill itself!
I don’t work breakfast shifts J’ames. Get your own coffee.
Morning children.
Will it involve moving closer to Lapeer? Because otherwise I don’t care.
No, just 10 more minutes in the car.
Right below that is a mini beer belly
Could be cortisol-related. How’s your sleep/stress level?
If you mention gluten, I’m gonna ban you Leon.
I don’t care how stressed you are.
Well, since you brought it up…
*finger hovers …
You’re gonna miss me next week if you do.
I’m just trying to keep you line here.
Oh, Roamy, most excellent Humpday Spread!
I have met MJ, he does not have a beer belly.
Okayfinethen.
It could also be the result of some systemic inflammation due to gut permeability or digestive sensitivity. Such things are often the result of prolamines in the diet.
See? Didn’t say it once.
o.0
Gliadin?
Glutenin?
Or, it could be that MJ didn’t do enough weight/core workouts.
>> Get your own coffee.
No tip for you.
Headed back to Michigan today. *checks forecast… 6 to 12 inches of snow on Thursday*
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Why hasn’t anyone brought up a recipe? We’ve had everything else.
But Dave, it’s going to be in the 30s. ALL WEEK!
*puts on shorts and a t-shirt*
OMG! I see the sun!
Gliadin?
Glutenin?
Aren’t those the names of PJM’s kids? Or was that her goats??
Her curtains.
*shoots a can of silly string at the returning delurker, MrFixIt; realizes too late that it’s actually a can of spray cheese, breaks out a box of Ritz*
Her curtains.
Ahhh right, right, right.
Safe Travels, Dave. And try not to get hit by a de-icing truck or eaten by a polar bear.
Or, it could be that MJ didn’t do enough weight/core workouts.
—————————-
Look Dorothy, I have taken your advice and now lift twice a week and do abs almost everyday. I’m always stressed out, and lately I can’t seem to sleep well. I believe this is called ‘life.’
But I’ve been built like this all of my life, to some degree or another.
I come from doughy English stock, and I’m doing the best I can. Plus, being a rethuglican, I don’t believe in science.
Those Michigan polar bears are MEAN!
Why hasn’t anyone brought up a recipe?
Someone tell me what I should have for breakfast.
If you were at my house, I’d make you eat eggs. Both of my regular buyers are out of town this week, so I have about 4 dozen extra.
I ain’t worried about the cold, I’m a bit concerned about the hour long drive to the airport Thursday affernoon.
Look Dorothy, I have taken your advice and now lift twice a week and do abs almost everyday. I’m always stressed out, and lately I can’t seem to sleep well. I believe this is called ‘life.’
Don’t do abs every day. Every other. You need recovery days, just like any other muscle.
ANd I was just teasing you. I’m sure it’s stress too. Lack of sleep. And, change takes times.
Are you getting your lower abs? I’m sure you are if you’re doing a routine.
I’m having a different issue, since the stress is making it hard for me to eat and food seems to be going right through me.
sigh.
OK folks, how are we going to deal with stress? It seems everyone is stressed out right now.
Former coworker got back to me with a “thanks for the interest, but it’s not my group that’s hiring, send a resume to the link on the page” which bodes poorly. Still waiting on former some-times manager.
OK folks, how are we going to deal with stress?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYqnoULgD30
I am getting Senior Singles spam, and I don’t like it. I blame Mare.
Roamy, Mare is such a whore. I’m sure she’s responsible.
Wednesday is the best day of the week. Thanks Roamy!
I really like Matt Davis. Roamy, you deserve a (fill in the blank from the list below) for your work on HHD.
Catch Your Breath Award
Hot Panties Award
I Feel Funny in my Bra Award (inapplicable to Gabriel and possibly Jewstin)
Is it Hot in Here Award
Why the Fudge am I Old Award
I wouldn’t be stressed if someone would bring me some coffee.
I’ll take the Catch Your Breath award, thank you.
**loads trebuchet with coffee, aims northwest**
Oh, shoot, wait Roamy, my Awards didn’t come out right, they were supposed to be for you, but I was thinking of myself looking at your HHD, hence the Why the Fudge am I Old award.
Please accept my apologies.
MJ, if you’re having trouble sleeping, try taking a D3 supplement – worked wonders for my Mom (me, too, but I was already sleeping better after changing my diet, so now I sleep especially well).
DD#3 has had success with Melatonin supplements at bedtime.
Mare, I thought it was for the Senior Singles spam, so it was funneh.
Wait, mare was funneh? Awesome!
HA! I keep getting Cialis/Viagra spam. WTF?
It seems to me Jay has gone far too long without an ass kicking? Takers?
There are a lot of good looking men(cough) on the set of Vampire Diaries.
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/ian-somerhalder/images/24894492/title/ian-wallpaper-wallpaper
>> possibly Jewstin
Heh.
Excellent work on today’s HHD, Roamy (as always)!
1-2 feet? BOO!
Le sigh. Wednesday. Half over.
Recipe for a veggie plate, according to my grandmother:
Beans
Mashed potatoes
Smother both with gravy and serve.
I’d drink myself to sleep at night while I’m here but she flipped out when I brought white wine vinegar into the house.
As long as it was chicken gravy you’re golden.
Southern Baptist, Roamy?
that’s a great picture of you, Gabe!
Grumpy cat goes dark:
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3svlov/
Damn it, I’m waaaaay off my game today.
Southern Baptist, Alice?
Bing home page is freaking awesome today.
Although I just realized I don’t have “game” ever. FU.
Ah, not you Alice, the world….hahahah
Urghh. Trying to get new well hooked up. Electrician coming in a few minutes. Backhoe guy tomorrow. Buried electric line locator guy in an hour (waited 2 days before local electric co-op guys got him moving). Going to pick up pipe, conduit, wire, fittings, pre-made well house, and other assorted stuff this afternoon. Well pump installer guy coming when everything else is ready. If I’m really lucky and there are no problems, we’ll only be totally out of water for a day.
Have a deadline coming up in 2 weeks for a knife show. Need a pic of a knife for the catalogue, but knife is at engravers and will not be done in time. Need 3 more knives done. Calving season is starting. Feed delivery was yesterday.
Stress………….
Man, they could have filmed the “Farmer” commercial completely at Pepe’s ranch.
Happy Birthday, Ronald Reagan!
Nobody needs an assault knife.
Knives are too pointy.
HA! Jay, I just got an email from my gun instructor that he is sponsoring a knife class from Suarez International. I’m signing up if I’m in town.
Knife classes? If you don’t know how to mince garlic or trim a steak, you are not my friend. Well, okay, I’m just an asshole on innernet, so ignore that anyway.
I can usually butter bread without slicing into a major artery.
Stark, don’t sell yourself short.
Xbrad, what’s new? In 500 words or less.
Xbrad, what’s new? In 500 words or less.
Well, I haven’t made any horseman babies.
Or even tried to.
So far as you know.
You’re not trying hard enough.
Some internet assholes are funny
Xbrad is about once a month
There is only one funny asshole on our internet: http://maddox.xmission.com/
ANd I was just teasing you. I’m sure it’s stress too. Lack of sleep. And, change takes times.
Are you getting your lower abs? I’m sure you are if you’re doing a routine.
————————–
I know you’re just teasing. I was teasing back.
*snaps Car in’s bra
I’m getting the lower abs…I just don’t seem to have any at the moment.
Shooters, an excellent tool for finding ammo online:
http://gunbot.net/index.php?cal=223556
Xbrad is about once a month
like a period.
We could be looking at 30 inches of snow on Friday.
* buys 12 gallons of milk and a cart of bread *
Stark, I have often linked Maddox here.
I love the one where he rips cameron diaz. And my favorite may be Fashion Tips for women.
Oh, Scott was talking about snow, could have been anything.
1 or 2 feet.
Don’t forget the eggs, Scott.
How can you make french toast without eggs?
This could equal the blizzard of 78. I went out during that one to experience whiteout conditions, after nearly getting killed by a plow I got lost in a field.
I’m getting the lower abs…I just don’t seem to have any at the moment.
Planks, hanging leg raises, knees-to-elbows, etc.
Greetings, heffalumps and woozles.
Still nada from the other guy over yonder. I suspect it may be a dead end.
“heffalumps”
Well, that does it, I’m heading to the gym. See you turds later.
I vaguely remember the blizzard of 78. It covered the jungle gym in our backyard.
Great story.
http://www.military.com/daily-news/2013/02/06/battle-of-midway-hero-jim-muri-dies-at-93.html?comp=7000023317843&rank=5
I vaguely remember the blizzard of 78. It covered the jungle gym in our backyard.
A midget’s jungle gym?
Not impressed. What was it- 15 inches deep?
MJ, if you’re having trouble sleeping, try taking a D3 supplement – worked wonders for my Mom (me, too, but I was already sleeping better after changing my diet, so now I sleep especially well).
DD#3 has had success with Melatonin supplements at bedtime.
I take melatonin supplements and D3. It knocks me out for at least 8 hours, especially if I take the 10mg melatonin instead of the 4mg. I always end up with weird ass dreams.
’78? Snow over my head. Kids to-day won’t know what snow is, unless they give HJs to Al Gore during his massage.
I always end up with weird ass dreams.
Pitching or catching?
(Thus, we see the importance of the hyphen.)
TFF they’re advertising a treadmill for dogs, unbelievable.
Ass dreams are the worst.
Not impressed. What was it- 15 inches deep?
————————————
Gross.
Pitching or catching?
(Thus, we see the importance of the hyphen.)
Usually the Great Ass is delivering a message from the archangel Gabriel, who then whisks me away to the middle of a gigantic desert filled with mindworms who seek to consume my soul. After travelling three days, I arrive at an oasis of purple water and blue trees, where a barbershop quartet of penguins sings to me the song that shall one day end the world.
Some internet assholes are funny
Xbrad is about once a month
Xbrad, the PMS of funneh
TFF they’re advertising a treadmill for dogs, unbelievable.
Hey, it fills that desperately needed market for people who want their dog to be healthy, but have already fused the skin of their ass with their sofa cushions.
Dang.
I don’t have a dog, and my ass isn’t really fused to the couch, just getting a little sticky.
My skin isn’t fused, but my butt-hairs have grown into the fabric of the couch, so getting up would be kinda painful. Why bother.
Watch your mouth at work:
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/02/05/restaurant-employee-on-undercover-boss-show-admits-he-hates-customers-gets-immediately-fired/
J’Ames, I saw that. It was pretty funny. Stupid is as stupid does.
I want to watch the episode. See the executive melt down in front of your eyes. Legitimately.
Oh noes!
http://tinyurl.com/yzs6l6
It should be on CBS.com, J’ames.
CBS.com: poisoning threads since 1993.
Seriously. WTF?
I know HHD is the least favorite post of the week, but someone should say something, if only to keep me from owning the comments.
Or Stark.
I’d talk, but I’m busy stressing and trying to find ways to network.
Don’t even joke about that. I’ll kill that fucker.
I’d talk, but I’m mezmerised by the Delta Rae video for “Bottom of the River”. The blonde girl is all kinds of yummy.
HHD is the least favorite post of the week
If you like your sausage party, you can keep your sausage party.
No Saturday mail = one less day of crap to throw in the bin
I think Palau got hit by a tsunami about the time we were making fun of their flag.
It means I don’t have to go out to the mailbox on the weekend, which I won’t miss in winter anyhow.
You have no idea of the power of the H2.
Battleblog?
This guy has been a pretty upright guy in his career and he made a bad mistake (if I made millions I would limo it), but he musta been really lit to get a booking photo like that.
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/sports/colorado-rockies-first-baseman-todd-helton-arrested-on-dui-charge-in-thornton
Let’s make fun of Washington, D.C.’s flag.
Who needs daily mail? Once a week would be plenty.
You have no idea of the power of the H2.
It’s fully armed and operational? IT’S A TRAP!
Not rain, not sleet, not snow, not days that begin with S.
–US Postal Service, 2013
Time for a Diet Coke Break… mmmmm
new makeup, mare?
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7035141376/h31852E3B/
Lookin’ good, Mare!
In other news, both boys now have braces. Their mouths don’t hurt, yet, but my wallet does.
Key word there is “yet”, Cyn. Rocketboy was done with his braces in less than 2 years, Mini-me is having to wait on some teeth to come in.
Here’s some practice phrases.
“I did not spend $6K for you to (fill in the blank stupid stunt).”
“If I had known you weren’t going to take care of your teeth, I could have had new living room furniture.”
Yeah, I know they’re going to be hurting; I remember watching my sister go thru that but this was *cough 30 cough* years ago now.
This practice tells me that they use a more gentle technique. I gave them each a Tylenol before we left the house this morn, and the doc says alternate that with Advil through Friday. I will be dousing my pain with alternating hits of vodka and blue meth, TYVM.
Here’s some practice phrases.
“I did not spend $6K for you to (fill in the blank stupid stunt).”
Excellent one!
I’m hopeful that with the advice they received from several cousins that they will comply. This practice also gives out Smile Bucks for good cleaning habits, good grades, and other stuff.
I’ll let you all know if you should pick up a few extra shares of vodka stock.
I think it is better than it used to be. Cracks me up when Mini-me picks purple wire. Not an option *cough 30 cough* years ago.
mmmmmm, blue meth.
I bet Cyn throws the best parties.
So what do they get to trade the Smile Bucks for?
My girls use to get multicolor, red white and blue or match their uniforms. Loved it.
So what do they get to trade the Smile Bucks for?
Blue meth, of course.
Googleboy mentioned something about an iPod Nano for the Bucks and some knock-off Swatches as being the best items he saw.
My girls never got smile bucks!
*demands refund*
HA! Yeah, I’d get a wine box with my smile bucks!
Heck all my smile bucks go for wine, blue and red meth, and new mascara.
They didn’t mention any colored wires (so far anyway), but their rubber bands are either plain or colored (the boys picked both options). The top six teeth are a new clear ceramic brace and it looks freaking awesome.
Oh! The boys get to create their own retainers in whatever color or pattern they want. It sounds like it might be like a Crayon Maker Melty sort of thing.
Heck all my smile bucks go for wine, blue and red meth, and new mascara.
We are simpatico.
The dentist gives toys after a good checkup (yes, I know, I’m really paying for them). The time both kids picked out large plastic bats was highly entertaining for the entire drive home.
I’d get a wine box with my smile bucks!
^^^^THIS
There is a couple in CT celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary.
Smiley BJ bucks.
That seems like the bestest thing in the world.
I might consider using my Smile Bucks for some lingerie too. If I didn’t need the wine or mascara or meth, of course.
We could turn the adult orthodontics world on its ear with this concept you know.
I saw Smile Bucks in the first film with Debbie Does Dallas as the second in a double feature. At the Smithsonian.
There is a couple in CT celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary.
Must have separate bedrooms.
Smiley BJ bucks.
Yeah, there’s some smiles right there, hooboy. And every one of the techs in this office were really cute.
Oh and if we refer people, we get stuff too. I may have to ask about Australian Kiss Bucks.
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/facebook-wins-fails-28.jpg
*thud*
I wish this was my orthodontist, or dentist, or gardener, or plumber, or grocery bagger, or neighbor who uses their pool/hot tub a lot:
http://tinyurl.com/apnjwyt
Talk about smile bucks.
Well, this nails it:
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/monday-dar-23.jpg
Ad for Vermont teddy bears is on. Do not want.
http://tinyurl.com/apnjwyt
Talk about smile bucks.
*double thuds*
It was very nice seeing you ladies. I hope you have a nice afternoon.
/MJ nice mode
Men, Roamy brings up an excellent point, steer clear of the Vermont teddy bear and swerve toward wine of the month, massage (by a pro not one of your too short stupid ones), a heart felt letter why she is the most wonderful woman and mate in the world (given at her favorite restaurant) or make dinner for a week….not frozen crap either.
Is Jay drunk?
I saw that too, Roamy.
I’m holding out for the Vermont Pool Boy Tearing Off My Teddy And Wine Company®
“I’m holding out for the Vermont Pool Boy Tearing Off My Teddy And Wine Company®”
Okay, Cyn makes an excellent point/suggestion too.
Nice knowin’ you people …
http://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/blizzard-to-bury-new-england-at-the-end-of-week/5673457
My wife has requested high-quality chocolate confections.
Andy, I know you are the type not to be without enough booze so I’m confident you’ll do well through the blizzard days.
I’ll take one of those too short stupid massages if it leads to something else, IYKWIMAITYD.
Check your email, Andy.
H2 women are making some excellent points/suggestions today.
I almost mentioned chocolate. Good catch, Leon.
I just clicked on Andy’s link and in addition to noting that the NE Cabal is about to be wiped out, the picture with the “Prime Target” in red looks like a dildo. Baaahahahahaha! I guess that message is pretty clear that y’all are about to be fucked.
Got it. Thanks, whore.
Oh, not you mare. I meant xbrad.
And, yeah, the booze supply is in good shape. I’m single dad this weekend, though. The Mrs. is going to be in a warm place, leaving me here to deal with teh SNOWMAGEDDON!
Wiser’s furnace is muttering “damn, one week too early”.
Men, find some good sweet, sweet lovin’ music. Not this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ImZTwYwCug
“Oh, not you mare. I meant xbrad.”
Oh thank goodness, I thought I was going to have to start cutting a bitch.
hahahaha…..good one Cyn.
Comment by MJ on February 6, 2013 5:19 pm
Smiley BJ bucks.
That seems like the bestest thing in the world.
=========
Somehow, BJ’s and braces don’t sound like a great combination……..
I’m stalling I have crap to do and don’t want to, so that means I’ll be here awhile.
I hope Andy does that thing with the liquor bottle on his patio table again.
I’m at the gym. Did six miles around town, then AB work, now I’m cooling down on a bike.
Somehow, BJ’s and braces don’t sound like a great combination……
With some care, it’s perfectly manageable.
Hahahahahaha, at the end of Mare’s link, it says “MJ Video”.
That was wiser. I don’t expose precious commodities to the elements like that.
I hope Andy films his “Descent into Madness, the Blizzard of 2013″ I think that could be an award winner.
hahahahahaha
6 degrees of H2 separation.
I couldn’t remember which one of you did that. Same storm. Didn’t a limb fall on your car or something?
Afternoon. Did anybody else kick ass and take names today?
All work and no play makes Andy a dull boy.
Homemade chocolate truffles are easy to do, and allow you to get creative. I like to make a batch with espresso powder, and another batch with a little bit of cayenne.
Apropos of nothing, who likes wieners?
I built 25 of these today:
http://tinyurl.com/ak52nye
I can safely say there are a number of H2ers who enjoy wieners. Often and with verve.
Homemade chocolate truffles are easy to do,
What’s your secret? How do you temper the chocolate?
Jewstin, cool. Does your company make popcorn machines, too?
Yes, we do, Roamy. I’ve also worked in popcorns.
What’s your secret? How do you temper the chocolate?
Melt it in a double boiler, let it cool, and then warm it up again. Never had to do more than that.
I saw Prime Target Dildo open for Decent Into Madness at the Ogden.
“I built 25 of these today”
wieners in a box… huhnn
oh… & you didn’t build that!
Ghetto bar, dykes.
Yes, a tree fell on the car. That was the Halloween Snow of Aught Eleven.
Last Christmas, the dark chocolate truffles I made with coconut oil and coconut milk were better than the ones I made with heavy dairy cream. You don’t taste the coconut flavor in the chocolate at all. The chocolate just tastes really good.
I did not even try to temper chocolate for a candy shell. Just rolled them in cocoa.
I don’t care for chocolate.
But here’s a great article on different tempering techniques.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/apr/15/how-why-temper-chocolate
*pours chocolate all over HotWife*
That’s different.
ha ha ha haaa I bet.
Huh. My technique requires a very heavy pan, a thermometer, a gas range, and a sacrificial rinpoche from Nepal.
A double boiler seems a bit more practical.
Yes, a tree fell on the car. That was the Halloween Snow of Aught Eleven.
I’m pretty sure that was the same storm of the Cuervo bottle in the snow.
If a tree falls on a car, and no one is around to hear it, does it still mean Obama is a cock gobbler?
Yes
If a tree falls on a car, and no one is around to hear it, does it still mean Obama is a cock gobbler?
Yes. And a Stuttering Cluster-fuck of a Miserable failure.
I think we need to let go of the “failure” part. He got re-elected.
Where’s Beasn? I want to give her this for the good ripping she gave on TurtleFacePlant.
http://tinyurl.com/a9z9paq
Glad I’m on her side.
That was the voter’s failure.
I suppose he’s somewhat of a success. Hitler was successful as well.
Beasn being on our side proves we are right, Roamy.
The iceberg in the Titanic voyage was successful.
Who did Beasn rip and how did she rip them?
Yuck. Thigh gaps?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2274227/Teenage-girls-obsessed-celebrity-thigh-gaps-starving-achieve-super-skinny-look.html#axzz2KAVeNVG5
My middle child had “thigh gaps” until she started cheerleading. Now she’s got muscle in her legs and looks a TON better.
She used to be way too skinny. It was sorta gross.
Now I’m gonna need a gun soon.
Some of those dames look downright revolting. Who the hell finds that shit attractive?
It does say that it’s a trait of not-matured girls. Which was what she was. That’s what those women look like- the really skinny ones. They look like little girls.
Beasn wasn’t taking any crap from Carin’s “friend”, who thinks socialized medicine is great, told Carin she should have prepared better for this economy or shouldn’t have had so many kids, and was gleeful about people struggling while she could afford dinner out and overseas trips.
Fucking cheap ass, broke ass, lazy ass New Mexico. Finally got the guy to locate the electrical line. Fortunately I excavated carefully. Found a gas line first, buried only 12″, electric line was 4″ below that. Electric was NOT in conduit, just buried directly in the ground. Gas line is no longer in use, so massive explosion was averted. Important to run gas and electric lines together, I think that’s code in NM.
So, $1,200 in supplies for me today, not counting 600′ of #6 copper wire and an electrical box that Penelope picked up. Backhoe coming tomorrow (run by a plumber friend), electrical guy coming after ditches are dug. Well guy will come after everything else is done. This is like organizing a bank job. Electric guy is semi-retired, and plumber/backhoe is a friend so it’s not as expensive as it could be. Added plus, supplies were bought on the plumber’s account, so wholesale price and no tax. Existing well pump is inadequate for new deeper well, so new pump necessary!!! The fun just won’t quit.
Hotspur – unfortunately it’s mostly GIRLS who like that look.
Roamy – “friend” just posted MOnday that her husband did so well last year, that he’s been awarded – by his company – a fabulous trip to Trinidad.
I couldn’t help but think that was a bit more slugging from her.
Typical liberal
You haven’t unfriended that scrunt yet?
No. As I said – I like to know how they think.
And I prefer them to unfriend me.
*slides Pepe a double single malt*
Well the word fabulous does not fit in a sentence containing Trinidad.
Common.
*looks at Cyn with hurt in eye
Sounds like a really, really unfun way to spend time and money, Pepe, sympathies.
How deep will your well likely be, PLP?
Pepe, hope it all works out.
Carin, goody for her. She’s obviously prepared for the lean times that way.
Where’s Beasn? I want to give her this for the good ripping she gave on TurtleFacePlant.
Awww…thank you! I lurve me some leetle pigs.
*squishy hugs roamy*
That ‘friend’ is either retarded or the smuggest bitch EVAH. People like that need a little karma.
Thigh gap – gross.
*slides Carin a Pool Boy and a wine box*
Did anybody belatedly realize that anybody else had invited them to a “pig party” today?
“Thigh gap”
http://tinyurl.com/bxyu9ny
http://tinyurl.com/agslckw
HS, well already in the ground. 227′ deep. Now it’s just a matter of getting power to it, putting in an underground pump house to keep the pressure tank from freezing, and then getting the water tied in to the existing line. The trick is going to be getting everything switched over so we are out of water for as short a time as possible.
227′ wow! Is that pretty common?
What the doggy is this style?
Doggy is the best style.
Just got home. Mrs. Pendejo is going on about this shit here:
http://nation.foxnews.com/chris-rock/2013/02/06/chris-rock-president-our-bossour-dad
I figured you folks would have a pithy comment or two. But no….you’re discussing real life shit. What kind of piss and moan blog have we become?
Where is your frost line Pepe do you have to bury it deeper to keep from freezing? We need 3′ of cover here, but not for freezing
Carin, there’s a big raging emptiness in that lady. I would not doubt she actually envies you. The best thing to do is to just post plenty of stories of good times with your kids, and write funny little stories about enjoying family life.
If that’s what you do already, it’s probably why she has it out for you in the first place.
Chris Rock is old. It’s not our fault she’s slow.
227′ is good. Neighbor to the south hit water at 800′. On the well the driller drilled prior to mine they quit at 900′ and only got 8 gallons per HOUR!!! 900′ at $23 per cased foot sucks, especially when you don’t get water.
Frost line is at 2 feet VMax, pipes will be at 3′ or below.
If the president’s my dad, then he gets to give me an allowance, tell me what I can eat for dinner, and turn the lights out when he thinks it’s time I should go to bed. No thanks.
Well, shucks. Granny didn’t make it. I’ll be pall bearing Saturday.
Crap.
Sorry to hear that news Jewstin
So sorry, Jewstin.
Or you could just flip her off Ca rin.
*thigh gaps*
I knew I had finally really lost some weight when my thighs quit rubbing together as I walked (limped, pick one).
If I had worn corduroys back then I would have been a fire hazard.
Oh crap, I missed that. I’m sorry for your loss Jewstin.
Sorry Jewstin.
Sympathies and prayers, Jew.
Sorry Jewstin!
Thanks all.
If Obama was my dad I’d shave his butt and teach him to walk backward.
If I get to stay home during the bleezard on Friday I’m going to give myself a Spa Day and also sow a few flats of seedlings.
Oh man, so sorry Jewstin.
If I get home during the non blizzard lake effect foot of snowy death I’m gonna go to work on Friday.
What was Chris Rocks attitude when BUSH!!! was the president?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. FUCK him and the horse he rode in on.
Horse-man baby!
Jewstin,
Sorry, man. Prayers out to you and yours. Losing family is always hard…
Sorry to hear that, Jewstin. Your family is in our hearts and prayers.
Jewstin, condolences on her passing. Prayers and hugs, honey.
We successfully made it thru our first meal with braces in the House of Cyn.
Like braces were gonna slow those boys down. Pfffft.
Condolences Jew
Will there be grueling travel and more importantly are you going to wear a shirt?
Sorry to hear about your Granny, Jew.
Thinking about you.
Mare, why did you kill it?
Well issues aren’t enough. Guess who’s wife is bringing home 50+ boxes of flooring to install.
Condolences, Jewstin.
I’d give you a man hug, but Wyoming is too far.
The tap on kind or the glue on kind Pepe?
I prefer installing tap on.
It’s my nature, Vman.
Death, destruction, mayhem.
Another colleague helped me sharpen up my resume. Now I just need to poke around a bit more for a back door before I give up and go in through the front.
Pepe,
Hopefully the Armstrong interlocking kind. That stuff is near indestructible, but will eat a lot of saw-blades when you are cutting it.
*cuts electricity lines to blog*
*puts on night vision goggles*
*grabs giant bag and runs into Mare’s room*
*slips on cake icing and some sort of Cheetos gravy*
*puts giant bag over Mare*
*breaks window*
*hooks giant bag to crane hook outside window*
*runs downstairs and peels out in crane*
*heads towards isolated mountain cabin*
To be continued…
Rosie!
How ya do’in?
Chris did ya read my last email attachment?
I have a few more pages
Wednesday in St. Louis is kinda weird.
It’s coming from inside the blog. OMG the voice is coming from inside the blog…
Condolences, Jewstin.
Hello Vmaximus! How’s life my brother? I hope the answer is excellent.
I heard this on the radio today and I LULZed in my underoos.
http://kodm.com/so-god-made-a-dj/
VMax, it’s snap together, thank God. Now all I have to do is move the furniture, including the baby grand piano, rip up the carpet and install it. Whine and snivel, whine and snivel…………
Hah! That could never happen.
There’s no crane that can lift Mare.
There is a play arrow at the bottom of that link that you need to click.
*wouldn’t have to say that over at Innocent Bystanders*
Happy Birthday Michael.
God Made a Bass Player will depress me until I put on my Michael Anthony super hero PJs
From the “husky” section at Penney’s. Me and Michael A, we kinda husky boys.
fml
Rosie,
Unfortunately I am living under a bridge stealing WiFi from Dunken Doughnuts And perhaps moving to North Dakota.
Pepe, my flooring has been in the garage since 2009. I’m still waiting for the install. I have cousins that have offered to help Dan. Still waiting.
After the new tile was installed here, the five or six spare tiles were placed in the garage, where they make a very nice home for spiders and stuff.
Well hell Oso, it does need to acclimate. Should be ready in another year or so.
One of Dan’s friends has offered to do it for beer or a bottle of scotch. XB, black widow garage spiders?
Rosie,
Unfortunately I am living under a bridge stealing WiFi from Dunken Doughnuts And perhaps moving to North Dakota.
Well what the hell? I’m sorry to hear that buddy. I hope that there are at least hot chicks under the bridge.
Are you going to ND to frack the Bakken?
Good one, Rosie. “The roar of a lion coming out of the butt of a Chihuahua.”
Mostly black widows, Oso, but also some others. I just spray it with fire from time to time.
*tackles Hot Rocket, gives her “multiplication, division and exponentiation in polar form”*
I have as many tour de France titles as Lance Armstrong, but one extra testicle.
xbrad?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi6Ddd6eRqM
Rosetta, your fat ass needs such a hard kicking that only Al Gore’s fat leg could do the job right.
I am fucking sick of putting pants back on to go outside and smoke in 27 degree weather.
Rosetta.
http://tinyurl.com/36y9zjm
And, Rosetta, I just asked Harry Reid to take a dump on your porch so you have that to look forward to.
Nancy Pelosi said she’d hide in your back seat, wait until you’ve brought Floyd in to have his anal glands massaged then spring up when you return to get a jaeger shot and put her tongue in your ear. That’s also a little dream maker.
Aren’t your neighbors kind of use to seeing you naked Dave?
Rosetta, your fat ass needs such a hard kicking that only Al Gore’s fat leg could do the job right.
On the old, cool Tittyweb Jenkins I would link a picture of fat Al Gore and say “Has anyone seen the new tub of butter?” but I don’t know how to do that on the new, fascist Tittyweb Jenkins.
Yeah, the new tittyweb sucks.
Gosh, I really miss Tittyface Jenkins.
I just tracked down and bought 34 waist 38 length jeans for Rocketboy. Tall but not big & tall is a bitch to find.
How’s the boy doing Rosetta? And by boy I don’t mean your penis, I mean Henry.
And, Rosetta, I just asked Harry Reid to take a dump on your porch so you have that to look forward to.
http://tinyurl.com/b2bpold
Nancy Pelosi said she’d hide in your back seat, wait until you’ve brought Floyd in to have his anal glands massaged then spring up when you return to get a jaeger shot and put her tongue in your ear.
In other words, last Saturday for Rosie.
HEY I FIXT IT!!
Fucking genius.
Aren’t your neighbors kind of use to seeing you naked Dave?
There’s not enough bleach in the world.
Brain or otherwise.
hahaha….Man, I miss that old flaming train wreck. Good times.
How’s the boy doing Rosetta? And by boy I don’t mean your penis, I mean Henry.
Both are huge and neither can speak words. They mostly grunt and point at what they want.
hahahaha….good one, douche.
Mare, have you been kicked out of Texas yet for eating all the available lard?
Not yet.
Hey look it’s geoff.
You still owe me money for Big Trouble in Little China.
>> Aren’t your neighbors kind of use to seeing you naked Dave?
Hey, I wasn’t nekkid.
Boxers, and a t shirt. Which is perfectly fine attire when it’s 73.
Not here though.. People are lookin at me funny.
I was going through some of my Dad’s stuff when I was “home” and I found an article I sent about 10 (maybe fewer) years ago, written by Tomas Sowell titled; Just who are these “working poor.”
^ Best comment ever!
Wow, winless in the Big 12 TCU just beat #5 Kansas. Haha!
Henry is only 18 months but he’s so advanced that he’s already a terrible 2.
It’s TantrumDome around here. One toddler enters, two parents put on headphones and get drunk.
I wish I was lucky as my parents were with me. What a dream that was I’m sure.
Goodnight, good people.
Rosetta, try and come out to play more often. We miss you around here. And by we I mean MCPO’s lips.
Jay, what’s Russ wearing RIGHT NOW?!?!?!
“It’s TantrumDome around here. One toddler enters, two parents put on headphones and get drunk.”
That made me smile and have flashbacks.
I turned the gravity way up.
http://imgur.com/Z7TCj
Squishy hugs and good night!!!
This is a song better suited for Sunday morning coffee than late night retard blog but I’ve had the hots for Tierney Sutton over this song for a few years and this is the first time I’ve found it on video.
You can buy a better version of it on iTunes which I strongly recommend you do, stupid douche.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjmqg286m_w
>> I’ve had the hots for Tierney Sutton over this song
Never heard of him.
Rosetta Stone.. may I elaborate about something you thought you knew? The “terrible twos” doesn’t just mean it happens at two.
It means it also happens for two years.
We spend the first two years of their lives telling them they’re the center of the universe, and the next two trying to help them understand that was bullshit.
They do not care for this message, much.
Enjoy
Love and xoxoxoxo
Never heard of him.
FOCUS!!
*slaps Andy*
FOCUS!!
You better stop trying to insult me and prepare for the 19 feet of snow Al Gore is about to dump on your double-wide.
You better run to the store and buy more booze.
We thought we skated by the terrible twos with the girl.
3 was a sonofabitch.
*puts wheels on doublewide*
It means it also happens for two years.
We spend the first two years of their lives telling them they’re the center of the universe, and the next two trying to help them understand that was bullshit.
I’m working on this understanding in our house:
Crying, wailing, demanding, infantile rage monster – Mom’s genes
Genius, happy, calm, in control, God-like child – Dad’s genes
The rule is if he demonstrates your genes, you’re in charge.
I’ll let you know how this works out but I’m pretty sure it’s going to work out great.
Jay, what’s Russ wearing RIGHT NOW?!?!?!
You should know!
Andy, I’m pretty sure that since they’re predicting the biggest storm since ever that you’re going to get a few inches and then be disappointed.
Much like your first prison shower.
You promised not to tell anyone about that, tiny.
So, has anyone tried watching The Americans on FX? Any good?
Just for Pepe. “All calculations based on our experience elsewhere fail in New Mexico”~Stuff Lew Wallace said. Edition:Nobody cares. AKA: WTF was Lew Wallace.
I haven’t XB. I don’t watch episodic TV.
**puts Oso on the “not a bit helpful” list**
I can give you run downs on Signing Day and bracketology.
Well, I’ve got all night…
Lew Wallace wrote Ben Hur.
Sean, while he was the Territorial Governor of New Mexico and pen pals with Billy The Kid who had just killed my GGGrandfather as he was leaving my other GGGrandfather’s house.
XB, UCLA had a great day for a PAC Whatever team. OSU and Michigan did well. SEC dominated in their signing day pics. Tennessee did well. NCAA basketball continues to be a crap shoot but UI, Meechegan, and The Ohio State University continue to to well in NCAA basketball. Lobos are 5th in RPI but they let Chairforce get back into tonights game and I wanted to hippie punch Phat.
Wallace was also an agent for the New York Life Insurance Company at one point, which is pretty much the only thing I have in common with him.
Lew Wallace&Grommit.
http://www.wallaceandgromit.com/
Heh. At least you knew one of NMs only claims to fame. 500+ years and very little to show for it. See also any Pepe post or comment.
I own the Wallace & Grommit DVDs as well as the complete Creature Comforts.
Who doesn’t own them all, Oso.
Plus, of course, Chicken Run.
There’s also the A-Bomb and that woman what made flower paintings that looked like veejers, so you got that stuff going for you.
Don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the derp and sky
It slips away, all your money won’t another minute buy
I have Chicken Run!!!! I vacationed in Abiquiu before vajajajy O’keefe died. Ghost Ranch is awesome. (By vacationed I mean I passengered through drunk on my way to college parties)
Ghost Ranch? More like Ghost Blog!
Wake up peoples, I slept in till 6 today and can smell the coffee brewing. Mmmmm…aaahhh!
I fell asleep on the couch watching Moonshiners last night and didn’t wake up until 5am. Bliss.
I’m watching the BuzzFeed interview with Rubio and Ben Smith.
Watching Ben Smith for the first time explains a lot. First, he’s a giant pussy. Second, he is as informed as your typical leftist. He continually uses stereotypes of conservatives and is most likely reflecting what he, and the younger generation have been told rather than observed.
The danger that the left doesn’t see is that shattering that perception will be the conservatives biggest strength in a few years.
If the college-age crowd with the metric fuckton of student loans ever put it together that it was the leftists that greased the doorway into that situation, we could indeed be in for a big shift.
BuzzFeed: Come for the cat videos, stay for the not-so-hidden leftist agenda.
They are an example of the type of site that we need to emulate in our attempts to “win” the culture battle.
True, a right-slanted or even libertarian celeb news and lifestyle site could be huge.
My friend who I rely on for all things gun-related sent me this link. It’s temporarily out of stock but I bet they’d sell a shitload if it was real:
http://tinyurl.com/aqdp67k
Leon, Rush has been doing that, tongue in cheek, for the past couple of months post-election. He reads celebrity news and tries to play it straight. The constant references to low information voters gives it away. That and it’s Rush Limbaugh, of course.
ZOMG! Snowmageddon!
Stay safe, East Coast H2ers!
Yeah, Rush can’t do it. We’d need like a Tosh or a Perez Hilton.
If we could get Laura to do the home and garden segments, we’d be all set.
Speaking of Snowmageddon and global warming, this made my wicked heart happy.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/larrybell/2013/02/05/in-their-own-words-climate-alarmists-debunk-their-science/
Who’s putting up a new post? I’m thinking something with lemons and bears.
Good morning, peeps.
Obama is neither my boss nor my dad.
I Chris rock is a fucking idiot.
wakey wakey.
Morning Cyn!
You kids saying something about a storm? My AC joint arthuritis hasn’t told me nothing about no storm yet so I call bullshit on that
It’s not snowing here yet but it looks like it wants to. My titanium knee says “PROBABLY”
New poat
Well, xbrad’s never gonna be allowed to do a bbf ever……