The old poat was getting stinky, so let’s have a new one!
Your dad used his iPad to forward me several racist jokes and to tell me that he likes this song because it reminds him of your mom.
Now, for the main event: It’s Boy vs. Ladyboy in The World Series of Pole!
Exhibit A:
Exhibit 2:
Exhibit Π:
Exhibit IV:
That’s all for this evening, proles! If you come down with anything tonight, take two of these and call C arin repeatedly.
362 Comments
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My God, it’s full of something!
The poll is too lose to call! No one goes to bed early tonight!
South Pole (less than optimal)
http://is.gd/TTUozG
The poll is too lose to call!
“Pole too close to call” might have made more sense and marginally humorous.
Okay, I’m leaving out of verbs and all other kinds of important crap. I’m done for the day before I hurt someone.
Keep your laws off my pole.
Okay, I’m leaving out of verbs and all other kinds of important crap.
Are you just tired, or is this one of those things where we should be worried that maybe you had a stroke?
Remember when you changed out the entire headlight, not just the bulb? Well, I never got the memo about the headlight bulb. I don’t remember which car it was but it took me half a day to get that sucker out. I walked into NAPA with it and said, “I need a new headlight”.
I was pretty pissed when he unscrewed the bulb.
Stroke and pole should not be used in the same sentence here.
I changed a few headlight bulbs in my Pathfinder (had it 10 years). It was a pain in the ass each time. There was a trick way you had to do it that I forgot during the 2 or 3 years between changes.
You’d prefer smoke and pole.
Hey, where are all the white women at?
http://tinyurl.com/aeeag83
Aww. Lemon Bear is losing
*attempts to cut self with plastic straw.
**Fails miserably.
I’ve got hedgeclippers you can borrow.
So I guess Elizabeth Warren has the pole position.
Two great tastes that go great together!
http://youtu.be/N2RFmKmkEr4
Muthafucking mutherfuck!!!
Muthafucking furnace crapped out!
It’s gonna be a cold coupla muthafucking days ’round here
It always happens on the weekend.
Sucks!
Got a friend who could fix it I could get the parts. But I can’t get the fucking parts.
Dim the lights, pop a cork, warm up the Victrola
http://tinyurl.com/bz9slyj
That’s terrible Wiser! Man, it always has to happen during a cold snap. And on a weekend!
Well, one good thing, the sausagefest is over.
Why can’t you get the parts? Have you checked in neighboring states?
Scott and I are going to New Jersey tomorrow…
Connecticut has a fourteen day waiting period on furnace parts.
Man, it always has to happen during a cold snap.
Yeah, very few furnace malfunctions happen during heat waves. For some reason.
*ducks and covers*
How do you know what it needs?
Comment by Cyn on January 26, 2013 2:46 pm
I’m trying to find a loft bed for The Axeman
==========
Couldn’t you precariously balance a twin bed on a couple of bookcases? A few deck screws should hold it. It could be a learning experience for him, it’ll teach him not to move in his sleep.
*THIS IS A JOKE*
Milk crates.
Wiseguy Sean, here in the NE we have all already been running our heat for over two months. We are in the middle of our second cold snap of the Winter. This is not the first time Wiser turned his heat on this season.
*snaps fingers*
*enormous chandelier falls on Sean, killing him instantly*
Yeah. You just sit there and think about that, now.
*large pool of blood forms*
The next words out of your mouth better be an apology.
XBrad, this is not about being a man. Dave has money to spare, his time is precious and he has a bad knee. I have spent time repairing stuff and tinkering around when I can, but I do have some appreciation for the theory of division of labor.
**Tiptoes behind Laura, puts a fake spider on her shoulder**
Damn, Sean.
*hands him a box of bandaids.
Speaking of bulbs, I just ordered a crapload of halogens, candelabra bulbs and a weird set of Fluorescent lamps called PL from a website called bulbamerica.com. Pretty happy with them. Delivered in 4-5 days
laura, we turn our heat on early to mid October. When I lived on my own I’d try to stick it out till October 31. I walked around the house like a homeless guy with layers and a blanket draped on my shoulders. And a crinkled brown bag around a bottle of hooch. The missus put an end to that nonsense.
>>>scott on January 26, 2013 at 7:00 pm Edit
How do you know what it needs?
My friend works on commercial HVAC systems, so knows what’s broken, but he doesn’t have the parts to fix a residential system.
And the part is likely going to have to be special ordered because the system is so old.
Fuuuuuuuuuuu……..
I have two gas fireplaces that will do a decent job of keeping my home warm in the event of a furnace Obama. Not the most efficient form of heat, but it beats freezing your dick off.
http://i.imgur.com/FRJ7K.jpg
Genius Scott, milk crates are even better.
Wiser, we don’t run the whole house heat even during the bitterest cold. We have tiny electrical heaters in the bedrooms. Works out to be cheaper than running the whole house heat all night. Everyone should have a few electrical heaters around.
Uh oh. If Dave smells oranges, he’s stroked out.
What does your electric bill look like?
Wiser, does your fireplace help heat the house at all? Do you have any space heaters?
That’s not a half bad idea Pepe. http://bit.ly/Wot0jK
>>>Wiser, does your fireplace help heat the house at all?
We’s gonna find out tonight! Fire is already lit. Well, lit-ish. I suck at starting fires.
>>>Do you have any space heaters?
Nope. Gonna be a 3 dog night tonight (with two of the dogs being cats)
Just flipped on the tv and Dodgeball is on. If you’ve not seen it, you need a full one-half of your mancard torn.
I saw Furnace Obama open for Lady Gaga last year. Or maybe it was Madonna. Or Elton John. Or Cher. Or Kiss. Or Blue Oyster Cult.
I don’t remember.
Scott, no one is at home during 8.30 to 5, and the timer lowers the setting to 60F. It is at 68-70 from 5.30 to 8.30 am, and from 5-10PM. goes back to 60 for the night. An 800 watt electric heater consumes 7 kwh, or about a dollar worth of juice per night. My electric bill is lower than in summer (ACs are power hogs).
Got it lit.
http://m.bing.com/images/more?q=image+burning+house&ii=2&mid=2500&dv=True&form=BRAIAI&IIG=da6d07b597d24a439829327d519db0ad&kval=8.1&appns=mSERP&cutc=1359247167074
I see everyone beat me to the “electrical space heaters” suggestion. If push comes to shove, you can always check into a reasonably-priced hotel for a day or two (the TiFWs did this in the summer when the electricity went out in the neighborhood).
Got any electric blankets?
*assumes this isn’t the time to mention the benefits of a zaftig wife to keep a fella warm at night…..*
Got it lit.
*breaks out the marshmallows and weenies all the way from here*
*runs to kitchen for chocolate bars and graham crackers*
Who wants s’mores?
If you could find the parts somewhere, wiser, there’s a big net of Hostages and Morons all over the country that could get the parts to you. Kinda like PJ did with her goat fabric. That -was- pretty funny.
Warning: Don’t search images for “zaftig woman” near the kids
It’s 18 outside. You need electric heat tomorrow or it’s time to start draining pipes. Between the store and here I think we have about 6 electric heaters.
You want to meet us at the store?
Repair guy will be here in the morning.
Maybe he’ll have the part in his truck.
*crosses fingers
>>>You want to meet us at the store?
Thanks, but we should be able to get through the night, but if we can’t fix it tomorrow, we’ll take you up on that.
Did you jiggle the handle?
You should jiggle the handle.
What does your electric bill look like?
It’s a piece of paper with words and numbers on it, but that’s not important right now.
Lemon Bear Nixon Punch
Hahahaha
Xbrad got his funny in with several days to spare this month.
Waitaminute…..
Well lookie there…
It was just unplugged….
D’uh
Wiser, are you serious? You just had to prug it in?
So the standard running joke is not a joke after all.
It was just unplugged….
D’uh
If I REALLY thought you were that dumb, I would just . . .
*thinks it over*
Never mind.
You should check the pole-larity.
>>>Wiser, are you serious? You just had to prug it in?
Yeah… My furnace was unplugged… That was the problem.
*considers re-posting comment with bolded clarifications
>>>You should check the pole-larity.
Har!
If I can avoid ending up like Jack Torrance at the end of The Shining, I’m gonna buy you a Chardonney.
How hard can it be?
Gas + spark = heat
We can do this.
The next words out of your mouth better be an apology.
*gurgle*
*bites lip, mind frantically racing*
Uhm. Honeeeeee? Can I talk to youuuu?
Is the dryer gas or electric?
Oh, and start the cars in the garage. They will provide all kinds of heat.
>> They will provide all kinds of heat.
Yeah, and turn off those pesky carbon monoxide detectors. They make annoying noises.
Wiser, can you wiggle your toes? If you can wiggle your toes its not broken.
You can sleep in the cars in the garage. They should keep the engine warm just sitting there idling. Be sure to crack the car window, safety first!!!!
If the dryer is electric you got a good source for heat.
Yeah… My furnace was unplugged… That was the problem.
People — please please please do not give Wiser the satisfaction of thinking you bought this.
There is no way his furnace was unplugged.
UNLESS the fan bearings were bad and were squeaking out a cover version of Aqualung.
Buy the all new Log™, & our line of fine appliances that can turn this Log™ into heat.
Make a fire and then bury the coals to sleep on.
*shit I learned from watching Jeremiah Johnson thirty times*
If my fan bearings were doing “Sitting on a park bench . . .” I might unplug it too.
Cash in a few Marriott points.
*shit I learned from watching Jeremiah Johnson once*
Did anybody bring in Pinkertons to bust up anybody else’s strike today?
Wiser, come here. It’s 55 and I can light a fire.
All seriousness aside, losing heat there in the middle of your winter is as bad as me losing AC here in August. Stay warm.
>>>Is the dryer gas or electric?
Electric.
Fireplace is blazing really well now. Damn good thing I didn’t ell all that wood, huh?
Of course, if I had, I could have bought a new furnace. Which I wouldn’t have done.
But I could have
You know, with a little ingenuity, and a cattle prod, you could get a hamster, or maybe a small dog to power the fan on that furnace.
I have rendered a quantity of fresh tallow from beef fat today.
One step closer to consuming things that have been fried in beef tallow.
*considers the humble potato*
YES. oh yes
Electric dryer!
That will heat the place.
>>>Wiser, can you wiggle your toes? If you can wiggle your toes its not broken.
Wiggle.
Wiggle!
WIGGLE, DAMN YOU!!!
I’m fucked.
If it doesn’t provide enough heat, introduce some gas.
>>>Electric dryer!
That will heat the place.
YAY! $700 electric bill and a burned out dryer motor to replace!
WINNING!
Wiser,
Take the Fam and go ring the bell at Scott & Lauras place.
Look sad and cold.
Have Wiser-bride sneeze a couple times when they open the door, with Wiser-son shivering and repeating over and over; “I’m so cold”…
Subs wiserbride and I can generate some heat on our own.
.
.
.
*throws another log on the fire
>>>Take the Fam and go ring the bell at Scott & Lauras place
“Trick or treat!”
“I SAID TRICK OR TREAT, MUTHAFUCKAS!!!!”
Yeah, what are we worried for? WiserGoddess is hot enough to burn the whole house down!
.
.
.
.
(I hope she wakes you up first)
“WE DON’T HAVE ANY CANDY. IT’S NOT HALLOWEEN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WE DON’T HAVE ANY -GAH.”
*slams the door*
My uncle saw The Humble Potato open for Quicksilver Messenger Service back in ’68.
*considers mixing up a pitcher of frozen margaritas
*decide, instead, to just pour tequila, triple sec, and lime juice into a bowl, place it on the dining room table and wait.
>>>*slams the door*
*smacks wiserson
LOOK MORE PATHETIC, DUMBASS!!!
Wiser: second look at pellet stove?
If you strap wiserson to the top of the car on the way over, it should help with the pathetic look, just sayin’.
>>LOOK MORE PATHETIC, DUMBASS!!!
Wiser, that son of yours is one fine young man. He is incapable of looking pathetic.
Comment by lauraw on January 26, 2013 9:36 pm
Wiser: second look at pellet stove?
===========
*tomorrow morning, Laura gets up, goes to fill stove with pellets, sees only a gaping hole where the stove used to be. Screams “WISER”!!!!*
>>>If you strap wiserson to the top of the car on the way over, it should help with the pathetic look, just sayin’.
Tried that. Little bastard wouldn’t stop wiggling.
second look at Dave hugs?
>>>Wiser, that son of yours is one fine young man. He is incapable of looking pathetic.
You’ve never seen his face on a January morning after he misses the school bus.
>>>*tomorrow morning, Laura gets up, goes to fill stove with pellets, sees only a gaping hole where the stove used to be. Screams “WISER”!!!!*
You guys don’t have your gun yet, right?
>>second look at Dave hugs?
You are not zaftig anymore.
>>>second look at Dave hugs?
Well, if wiserbride won’t get grabby, sure… Why not?
Any port in a storm, donchaknow
If she does, you can just send her.
>>>If she does, you can just send her.
Ummmm, if she does, I would send her away…..why?
You don’t have to explain yourself.
I’m not judging you.
Borrow Scott’s smoker Wiser
You can keep warm and wake up smelling like bacon.
*hands wiser a carton of Luckies*
There ya go pal. These will keep you warms.
>>>You can keep warm and wake up smelling like bacon.
Turkey bacon???
*droool
You might have trouble with dogs and cats trying to eat you.
Wiser,
What broke in the furnace? Asking as one who has to replace one in our “Rental”, that we did NOT want or need…
The folks who were over there replacing wiring and plumbing that was stolen by “tweakers” observed; “Wow, I’ve never seen a meter spin that fast!”
That will probably cost us an “Unexpected” $1,500.
>>>*hands wiser a carton of Luckies*
Damn. Sure wish I could smoke in the house…..
Just mentioned to wiserbride how hilarious you people are. Give you a topic and you all can be funny as hell. I’ve been reading her some of your comments and she’s cracking up.
Seriously, I probably would have laughed my ass off during the Holocaust if I had shared it with you idiots.
NOT HAVING HEAT IS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST!!!
you should regale Mrs. Wiser about stories with me in them.
That’ll warm her up. Likely you too, although that makes me a bit uncomfortable.
**pops in to make sure Mrs. Wiserbud doesn’t get hysterical**
>>>What broke in the furnace?
According to my HVAC friend, it’s the gas switch. He first thought it might be the thermopile, which tells the gas switch it’s okay to release the gas to the burners, but after a few more tests, he figured out it was the gas switch.
Cool guy. He was all ready to fix my furnace at no cost. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the parts.
>>>you should regale Mrs. Wiser about stories with me in them
“I hate this dream.”
Oh shit DON’T SMOKE IN THE HOUSE
http://tinyurl.com/a99emsf
>>>**pops in to make sure Mrs. Wiserbud doesn’t get hysterical**
XBrad=what they use to resolve the “4 hour” problem in the ER
“I hate this dream”
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I liked the dream where she said “you looked like Adonis, coming out of the water”
…
It was a dream bitches.
Better than that one about waking up in a fountain in St. Louis. Or being lost in downtown Boston.
Wiser,
Interesting. In mine, the thermo-couple has to get hot to keep the pilot burning, then the thermo-pile has to get hot enough to open the valve. The valve is the “Gas Switch”.
Sucks to be you. I’m sorry and hope you and yours can stay warm. Paying a guy Sunday-pay to fix the damn-thing is gonna’ suck, but not suck more than freezing your ballz off.
**thinks warm thoughts and sends a Thermos of Irish coffee to Wiser
INTERCEPTION!
oooooo… Irish coffee!
There’s a coffeehouse in Bar Harbor that makes Irish coffee with Bailey’s, Kahlua, creme de cacao, and brandy. That’ll warm ya up.
is warmded… cept I just had coffee and a shot of Captain Morgans.
ok i’m lyin, it was Yukon Jack. What homo drinks Capt Morgans?
Oh man, I haven’t had Yukon Jack since college. Back then, I drank Capt Morgan’s mixed with Mountain Dew or Southern Comfort mixed with Blenheim’s ginger ale. Can’t remember what I mixed the Yukon Jack with.
Coffee with a goodly splash of Bushmills. Cures what ails ya.
I mixed Yukon Jack with Yukon Jack and a little spit.
Good god that shit was poison.
I’m trying to remember the song with Yukon Jack in it.
Yukon Jack was the birthday shot during med school. Nasty swill.
http://youtu.be/UkvQ-NdMPBM
I stood in muddy boots watching a flood roll over the spillway with my college roommate, Dec 1980, at Little Garza Elm reservoir, the first flood over it ever, swilling Yukon.
It was cold, overcast, and I had a headache the next day.
Huh, I just looked it up. It’s a liqueur since its whiskey mixed with honey. Made in Canada and bottled in Norwalk, CT of all places.
SoCo is a liqueur as well.
I’d just like to point out that I picked that picture of JP II because he looks like he’s saying, “Aw, come on!”
Sean, better?
http://cdn.newsthump.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/john-paul-II.jpg
I thought he was saying “What difference does it make?”
I loved this pic of JP II, and I’m a Baptist.
http://tinyurl.com/a8hhagt
Just funny, and sweet.
didn’t Yukon Jack date Big Ass Lill
(“date” is used loosely)
I’m not a fan of that word, but if the shoe fits, kick her in the poon with it.
http://tinyurl.com/bgu6rd4
oops; my mistake – it was Yukon PETE…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9UqO4qlafs
Not usually a fan of that word either, roamy, but exceptions can be made.
This is pretty fun:
http://youtu.be/A6XUVjK9W4o
There should’ve been some Water Skiing shit on there.
PG, in the prequel, there’s a guy that runs on water.
If i had been online oh about three and a half hours ago, I would have followed up laura’s post with a story of pathetic vegan friends who were elated when McDonald’s switched their fries from beef tallow to vegetable oil… only to be devastated/pissed years later when they discovered that the reason the fries still tasted great was “meat flavor” being infused into the taters.
I bathed in their bitter tears, and danced to the gnashing of their teeth.
I had an old friend come over, had 3 drinks too many, and now I am floating on a cloud of happiness. Goodnight, good folks of the H2 clan.
Whodathunk there’d be so much Comedy Gold associcated with some poor Yankmofuck losing his furnace?
You people are geniuses!!
Dot Indians drink alchohol?
I dint know that. I thought they were all teatotlar and shit.
PG, I drink very rarely, but I know a lot of dot Indians who can drink you under the table, over the table and then steal your booze and drink it.
I drink may be six times a year.
I’m picking up Tushar’s slack.
I am watching Terminator 2 for the umpteenth time now. I think Linda Hamilton and Carrie Anne Moss are the hottest women ever to act in a Hollywood movie. Women who kick ass – I love that.
Guess you should watch all 144 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer then.
I can’t stand that abomination called Sarah Michelle Geller. I have seen slugs that look prettier than her.
Oh….kay.
Time to ban Tushar.
I second that.
Sorry, Xbrad. I did not know you are smitten about her. She generates this visceral reaction in me. She generates the same revulsion in me that horse faced woman in Sex and the City does. I don’t even want to know her name. I think I have this thing about women whose first name is Sarah and who use a middle name.
Yeah, she’s just awful!
http://xbradtc.com/2008/11/04/load-heat-18/
Rumor has it that Sarah is a Republican too.
so there’s that.
Sarah Michelle Gellar, that is.
Horse face is a commie.
And Tom Harkin will not seek re-election.
Iowa has reason to celebrate.
SMG is indeed a Republican. She’s no Nick Searcy, but she’ll do.
What’ll she do?
Not you.
Well, that goes without saying.
You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,
Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the derp will not be televised.
http://i.minus.com/iGukAImh5UtSl.gif
http://i.imgur.com/GIUugZR.gif
Good morning
Morning.
Vampires?
Yep, the sky is getting light and I’m going back to bed.
*gets airhorn ready*
Ha ha.
http://news.discovery.com/human/health/male-soldiers-growing-breasts-130126.htm#mkcpgn=rssnws1
Single digits last night.
Did the Wiserfamily survive?
Good morning children.
Ha Ha Ha
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BBmBJ0OCAAAkuKH.jpg:large
Scott, he has his own gravitational field. Smaller governors revolve around him in orbit.
2nd try banana egg pancakes is OMG SOOOOO GOOD.
I wrapped them around some bacon for a breakfast sammich. Would be even better with maple sausage links.
OMG yay the coffee is done!
*kisses Leon right on the mouth*
Thank you for the recipe. So. Good
Wow, I don’t know if I can drink enough coffee to get that out of my mind. But you’re welcome.
wakey wakey.
*jealous*
*adds bananas and plantains to shopping list*
*realizes I won’t be going shopping because we have to work today*
*ugly hunchback pout*
One of our furnaces has been broken all year. The one that heats the living room side of the house. We’ve been using a space heater- a kerosene one.
It’s been working pretty good, and saving us money on propane.
It’s a great kerosene heater. no smell. Really efficient.
Also – I do know there is something you can attach to your dryer so that instead of pumping out that hot air to the outside, it filters it and warms the house – we do a LOT of laundry, so I’m going to look into it.
I recommend a lot of baking for the wisers. Get some 6 hour roast going in the oven. That will help.
I work today too Lauraw.
I woke up the house running the blender. I wonder if the batter will keep, or if the pancakes will hold up to microwave warming?
Pupster – I find that actually toasting pancakes works better to reheat than microwaving.
I’m waiting until Monday to make them again. I’ve got 3 bananas left, and 4 lifting days where I can fit in the carbs, so I’m going to see what the optimal ripeness is within the next week. They were definitely better the second day I made them, when there was no visible green on the nanners.
Laura, I imagine that they’d be better for savory/spicy dishes if you made them with plantains. I’ll have to try that next.
Toasting would likely be better, yeah. If you’ve mastered settings other than “high” on your microwave, you could try that. I left some on the counter overnight and they got a little curly, like the top of a toadstool or something. Dog liked ‘em.
Car in those gizmos for the dryer hose work. Too much moisture comes out during the first part of the cycle, but the 2nd half is free heat. I think it cost about $10 and it was really easy to install.
If there is more than one to choose from, get the one with the best filter.
1 medium banana (7 inches to 7¾ inches long): 24 grams effective (net) carbohydrate plus 3 grams fiber and 105 calories.
Well shit. No wonder my carb deprived self thinks they are so tasty.
I never claimed they were low carb, just paleo
I’m at the point where my athletic endeavors necessitate some careful fueling. Lifting days are high protein, low fat, and high (for me) carb, and rest days are as few carbs as possible and a similarly hefty amount of protein. This is a lifting day recipe.
I thought the filter too care of some of the moisture?
I wouldn’t mind a little moisture in the air.
Just don’t want the window’s to fog up.
http://i.minus.com/iGukAImh5UtSl.gif
Greg Chamitoff and Karen Nyberg on STS-124. I think.
I knew they weren’t carb free, I just didn’t know one fucking banana was 24 g.
http://tinyurl.com/b7hdd68
The better ones may. The filter on ours is pantyhose.
Oh yeah, bananas are bait plus storage organ, they’re like potatoes with syrup on ‘em.
Sunday morning wake up for Leon:
http://classysexypixs.tumblr.com/post/41594767090
Thanks Pepe.
On a completely unrelated note, starfish are fucking creepy.
http://i.imgur.com/lHAnp.gif
Off to the store, boy 1 turns 17 tomorrow, we shall celebrate today with steak and cake.
Fuck you, starfish!
Hmmm, did Wiser freeze to death last night?
Winter Storm Luna got ‘im.
If Wiser perished trying to keep warm in his car, somebody should go by a leave a note blaming his “love that shall not be named” for Rosetta.
I think if Wiser dies I’m supposed to get his daughter.
I hope she knows how to do dishes and laundry.
MUTHAFUCKAIng MUTHAFUCKAS.
Can’get the part until tomorrow,
Bedroom, with parabolic heater stolen from music store: 54 degrees
Main floor with fireplace: 62
Basement: 46
Oh Scott?
If you have a self cleaning oven Wiser you might want to clean it a few times today. It is good for 5 degrees or so in my house
Main floor with fireplace: 62
Put on a shirt. You’ll be fine.
Crock pot cooking, man.
*adds “HVAC tech” to list of possible 2nd careers*
>>>Put on a shirt. You’ll be fine.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well you would know…
>>>If you have a self cleaning oven Wiser you might want to clean it a few times today. It is good for 5 degrees or so in my house
Wiserbride plans to bake “something” today, then roast a chicken. And then run the cleaning cycle.
I should thaw a bird and a tenderloin for the week.
I have a cowface and horseradish.
Has anybody noticed the price of oxtail? It’s fucking absurd. I don’t know why it’s so expensive. It used to be dirt cheap.
I suspect oxtail got pricy because someone found a good industrial use for it, or an overseas market willing to pay for it.
What pisses me off is brisket prices. I blame FoodTV.
Jewstin, I blame the CTBRC. ctbrc.wordpress.com It’s all Laura’s fault.
Heart and tongue are still cheap, which is why I don’t really think we should spread around my chili recipe.
The butcher told us yesterday that any cut of meat that gets popular on cooking shows usually spikes in price. The example being skirt steak. It used to be super cheap, but now that people are using it as a replacement for hanger steak, it’s about the price of NY strip.
*demands trendy good subsidy.
Ooh.
*Adds tongue to shopping list.
If some cuts get expensive, prices could be easing for some other cuts. People can’t double their meat consumption because they watched a cooking show.
I actually prefer heart, Jew. Less cutting and waste (and creepy surfaces to touch). Also “waste” is relative. I’m sure you could make some good broth from the bits I toss, and I’ll probably feed the scraps to the chickens next time.
Turkey burger used to be about a buck a pound, now it’s more expensive than ground beef unless there’s a sale.
I blame dieters for that. STOP DIETING, JACKHOLES
>>*Adds tongue to shopping list.
http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4743530226190566&pid=1.9
Tushar, ground chuck has been remarkably stable. Not many burger/meatloaf/meatball recipes on Food Network.
Good morning cool kids. And cold kids.
Jewstin, turkey burger can still be dirt cheap if you’re willing to do your own grinding. Buy whole, frozen birds after Thanksgiving and again after Christmas.
My standing freezer has already paid for itself.
Heart is okay, but tongue makes a better roast.
I do find it faintly disturbing when I get one that still has the tonsils attached.
Diet food: http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-beef-heart-i13322
*makes mental note to ask butcher what a good day to get hearts is*
Leon, the funny thing is that cuts like oxtail and brisket are not premium cuts to begin with. Enterprising people found ways to make these tough meats tender and delicious, and the masses followed. Time for smarter folks to move back to premium tender cuts.
If we can convince the horde that pig anuses and ballsacks are where all the action is, we can get better cuts cheaper.
>>>If we can convince the horde that pig anuses and ballsacks are where all the action is,
Hey, they voted for Obama…. That should be a piece of cake.
Xbrad is buthurt over at the HQ book post made me laugh
Oh, I know it, Tushar. I perfected recipes for all the “butcher’s cuts” back before it was cool. /cookinghipster
Round steak has stayed pretty stable too, though it hasn’t gone down. It’s worthless as “steak”, but it makes excellent stew and curry.
Organs (and cow face) probably stay cheap because they gross people out.
Most Americans have a pretty boring palate. I read an article a while ago and don’t remember the specifics, but apparently somewhere in the neighborhood of 80% of all vegetables consumed in the U.S. is corn, green beans, and peas.
Corn isn’t a vegetable!
Related note: liver is still cheap, and is basically a multivitamin.
Vmax, amazing how wheels of commerce turn. You mentioned xbrad’s butthurt, I checked it out at AoS and bought his book.
>>Hey, they voted for Obama…. That should be a piece of cake.
Pigs anuses and ballsacks voted for Obama? Voter fraud is getting out of hand.
People, corn is a grain, like wheat and rice, not a vegetable. It’s a grass seed!
People, corn is a grain, like wheat and rice, not a vegetable. It’s a grass seed!
This is the sort of pedantry up with which I shall not put!
Look, I’m just trying to be helpful. If you want a healthy diet, concentrate on true vegetables and fruits which offer essential nutrients and antioxidants, like bacon, cheetos, snickers and bourbon.
This is the sort of pedantry up with which I shall not put!
Said the guy who fought tooth and nail not to end a sentence with a preposition.
Found a source for that Churchill quote.
http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/parts-of-speech/prepositions/Ending-a-Sentence-with-a-Preposition.html
Search foe churchill within this page.
No football today, other than the POS Pro Bowl, make frigidbud angry….
Frigidbud SMASH!
If some cuts get expensive, prices could be easing for some other cuts. People can’t double their meat consumption because they watched a cooking show.
————-
Very true. Pork chops seem to be out if favor. They are dirt cheap and fantastic.
Surprised this pole stayed up so long. Definitely longer than 4 hours. Might want to contact your doctor.
Just bought xbrad’s POS. For 99¢ I have high expectations. Just wish he used more jargon and lingo so I felt like it was worth the money.
All freezing and no football make frigidbud something something
Xbrad has a book?
On Amazon??
That allows reviewers to add comments???
Mwuahahahahahahahah!
Pork is pretty cheap across the board right now, other than babyback ribs. Spare ribs are cheaper than any non-organ cut of beef. I have 4 loins and 3 tenderloins in the freezer.
Sorry to hear about your predicament, Freezerbud. Oh and apparently drinking alcohol to stay warm is a myth so lay off the Schnapps already.
If I had an Amazon account I might be tempted to go there and write something like ‘This book is miraculous. When I rubbed it on my junk, it cured a nasty case of jock itch.
Heh heh, adding comments! Cyn, brilliant idea.
Now why didn’t I think of that?
*makes mental note to hone killer instinct*
It already has one review that starts” The author is a United State Navy officer”.
Eheh.
Um guys? Can we keep H2 humor away from the book’s Amazon page please?
Heh heh, adding comments! Cyn, brilliant idea.
Can’t take credit for that one, Jimbro. It’s a long standing tradition from the olden tymes and a rite of passage for many in the Moron Horde. Check out a classic in the Steering Wheel Lapdesk.
Though, I hesitate to bust Xbad’s chops so quickly… maybe tomorrow!
Hi, c-c-c-c-cyn….
What was that about my dick?
The threat is worse than the action Tushar. Sword of Damocles etc.
XBRAD, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, I READ YOUR BOOK!!!
Well, I would have, if I had a Kindle.
Guess I’ll have to wait until the movie comes out instead.
No worries here, Tushar. I’ll be good. I’m always good. Good luck getting those third graders at the mothership to behave, though.
Wiser, you can download a kindle reader app on an iPad, android tablet or a windows PC for free. You don’t need a Kindle to buy and read a kindle book.
What would be really funny would be to start at Xbrad’s book, then search for sheep pron and gay bondage videos, so they show up in the section re: “customers who viewed this item also viewed”
damn you, Tushar.
Damn you to hell.
What was that about my dick?
That was PREdickAment, Popsiclebud!
Oops!
Sorry, Wiser …. he said insincerely.
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
Inflatable animals
Sorry to hear about the heater, Wiser – seriously, can you guys stay at a local hotel today? Or go see a movie/go to the mall/go to the library/etc.? Anywhere that it’s warm.
*refrains from mentioning the local homeless shelter – figures you get enough “crazy” from the H2 already*
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
Books on cures for genital warts
Hand Lotion
Bacon
>>Popsiclebud
I got married in late december, and an uncle, who is a doctor, asked where we were going for the honeymoon. When I told him (it was a hilly place near the Himalayas, quite cold at that time of the year), he asked: are you sure you want to go there?
I said: yes, why?
He thought for a moment, and then asked me: have you ever seen a shrimp?
Scouts In Bondage
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
Fruit picking tell-all books
HAHAHA, Tushar!
*channeling Elaine Benes, “It shrinks?”*
Sundays without the feetsball sucks eggs!
…ice…ice…icebud…
It’s not that bad today, TiF. we’re floating at around 51 degrees. Couple of extra sweaters and sitting close to the fire seems to be doing okay.
I also read that if I leave the fridge and freezer doors open, it causes the motor to work harder, which generates heat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkjD3D5FgmE
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
The Art and Science of Being Funny
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
How to Make Stalking Look Like Love: Social and Legal Strategies That Work
I also read that if I leave the fridge and freezer doors open, it causes the motor to work harder, which generates heat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkjD3D5FgmE
Ha! You should probably have every light and appliance in operation right now. It’s Science!
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
Adult Videos/AmazonPrime/Downloads
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name: How to Explain All of Those Inflatable Animals in Your Closet to Friends and Family
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
Rosie O’Donnell: Beauty in Motion (Caution: Contains Graphic Nudity)
When Roamy bought me the Dolly, she also bought a copy of her friend’s book for me.
and that was exactly her strategy, that someone would see “people who bought this book also bought….”
I dunno if she got a screen cap or not.
and thanks, you jackholes. After pimping the book widely, I’ve sold 19 copies!
“customers who viewed this item also viewed…”
How Not To Meet Women On The Internet
http://youtu.be/O4ERegJ0Tow
It’s not that bad today, TiF. we’re floating at around 51 degrees. Couple of extra sweaters and sitting close to the fire seems to be doing okay.
Open up a couple of sleeping bags, bundle up inside of them, and zip ‘em together – share the bodily warmth.
And use protection…..
okay, I got shit to do.
bbl, warmer people
Best selling author and Fox News contributor XBRADTC !!!
We knew him before he made it big…
Never made Fox News, but I was on Armed Forces Radio and Television Service twice.
After pimping the book widely, I’ve sold 19 copies!
Wooo Hooo! Xbrad is picking up the tab… on our next chewing gum purchase!
Oh, and we don’t got shit to do?
Actually, no, I don’t, I got my shit done early. Fire started, dump run, grocery gettin, chicken baking.
I like the inside jacket cover on xBrad’s book: http://tinyurl.com/a2yn7jd
Speaking of shit to do, I should probably fire up the shopvac blower to start cleaning the Axeman’s bedroom in case we should find a loft bed.
*steals a shot of Schnapps and dons hazmat suit*
Okay. I’m ready. I can do this…
Greetings, Pro Bowl ignorers.
I’ve been on local TV news twice for taking care of kids from other countries for charity. They made me do it for publicity for the charity efforts. I hated it and when I actually saw it realized I was looking at the ground and mumbling hoping it would just be done.
Fuckety, fuck, FUCK!!!! No water, which means the pump in the well is out, or the well is going dry. I’ll trade Wiser his furnace problem for my well problem. And yes, I did jiggle the handle, assholes.
Is it plugged in, Pepe? Try plugging it in.
Yep, everything I can check is okay. Either a dry well, or a bad pump. Bad pump should be fixable in a couple of days, dry well will be expensive and could take a couple of weeks, which would really suck.
Maybe it’s frozen?
How the hell do you fix a dry well? I’m on town water but my camp has a well. That’s something I should know if it happens.
Jimbro – Dig deeper.
That’s what I thought but I was hoping there was a less pricey option.
Pepe,
Is the pump-controller okay?
Is there anyone close to Yucaipa? I found a loft bed there but would hate to buy it sight unseen. I could make it worth your while to take a look for me.
Many years ago, the TiFWs water pipes froze, and we were idiot enough to fix them ourselves (OK, we were cheap – and there wasn’t a plumber to be found, as the entire city was experiencing the same thing).
We were fortunate to be able to do it from inside the house, but just as we got through, one of our friends slipped, stepped on the pipes, and broke one of them again.
The HOT water pipe.
We had a new appreciation for our grandparents as we were hauling all of the water that we boiled on the stove to pour into the tub…..
Like I said, everything I can reach is okay. I can’t pull the pump without a well rig. Around here, drillers generally refuse to dig an existing well deeper. They want to start from scratch. It’s at 145′ now. So to drill deeper I’d probably have to go to 200′. At $22 per cased foot, that’s a $4,400 to the driller, not to mention getting the well guy to install the pump, etc. Plus drillers here are notoriously undependable, and we’d have to get a permit from the state (even to replace a well), and if you screw up and say it’s to replace an existing well, you have to cap the old well to meet their standards. So, I’m praying the pump is bad, and all I’ll be out Is $1,000 to $1,500.
If you want to feel my pain, just shut off the water to your house for a couple of days. No toilet, shower, washing. Plus I’ll have to move the cattle to a different pasture until I get it cleared up.
Like I said, fuckety, fuck, FUCK!!!
Cyn, if b-rad is out in the desert, that’s not terribly far from him.
Ah, then ignore my email, Sean. Thanks.
I’ve asked the seller if he/she’d send me close ups of the pieces. We’ll see.
I’m saying a prayer that it’s only your pump too, Pepe. That’s some serious suck.
I feel your pain even without turning off the water. That sucks pepe. Friggin well drillers might as well be union workers the way you’re describing the BS hoops you’d need to jump through.
Y’all forgot, that’s how XBrad ended up with Dolly. I helped a friend edit a book, then he turned asshole right when the book was published. I bought a copy on Amazon and sent it to XBrad, along with Dolly. All through the Christmas season, that sheep was there under “People who bought this book also purchased…”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shit I never heard that RFH, that’s fucking AWESOME.
Damn girl, you are a devious rocket scientist.
Fingers crossed that it’s an easy-as-possible fix, pepe ♥♥♥
Is there a river nearby?
*ducks and runs*
>> I could make it worth your while to take a look for me.
I’ll do it.
Apparently it stayed there for quite a while because all his other friends and family members just bought the book, nothing else.
Prayers and sympathies, Pepe. Our pump went last Winter through our own stupidity, and that’s un-fun enough.
*adds well&septic to list of possible second careers*
So, Cheyenne has a fund for rejuvenating downtown. It has variously been given to grifters, embezzled by administrators, and generally spent on anything that doesn’t improve our dumpy downtown.
Meanwhile, the city came up with enough money to rebuild a perfectly good intersection on one of the busiest streets in town, including a spiffy new rape tunnel for pedestrians.
I feel like writing a very stern letter
It’s about an hour and 20 minutes from me, Cyn.
Become a plumber Leon. When the sewer backs up, or water is flooding the house, they don’t care what it costs to fix.
Sorry to hear about your water troubles, Pepe. Hope it’s the cheaper option or that the magic gremlins come fix whatever it was.
NO MORE BREAKING THINGS FOR HOSTAGES!
That’s too far, Xbrad. Thanks anyway though!
Become a plumber Leon.
That’s perpetually the first thing on my list of “things to learn while funemployed”.
If we were heading to Irvine anytime soon, I’d be happy to swing by, but yeah, it’s a touch out of the way. I try not to leave Xmom alone more than an hour or two at the most.
I’ve only seen one of these here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czxSRqXD8BI
The homeless dudes near highway ramps are decidedly less animated with their cardboard signs
The flailing inflated men, however, are popular here. I’ve been watching the yellow one in front of the liquor store gradually degrade.
**waits for “I saw Flailing Inflated Men open for…”, bets on “Eric Clapton in 1982″.
I saw Flailing Inflated Men at the opening of a German themed dance club, but they weren’t musicians.
We’ve got sign flippers all over the place here. Even when it’s 120F at high noon.
Cyn, Yucaipa is about 19 hours and eleven minutes or so from me, depending on the route.
Can we talk about “worth your while?”
I saw Flails & Long Bows open for Molly Hatchet in 84
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YVRxAX6fwg
Clubhouse, bitches.
Rueben sammich, or steak and eggs?
I never get tired of watching the T-Mobile girl. Load HEAT?
Rueben. But get sourdough instead of rye.
Ask and ye shall receive.
http://xbradtc.com/2012/12/31/load-heat-carly-foulkes/
And Carly wasn’t the first T-Mobile girl to get the coveted LH endorsement.
http://xbradtc.com/2008/12/29/load-heat-26/
I knew you’d have my back there! How about the model for Direct TV Genie? A new one for future LH
No, I took a quick look for her, but not enough pics yet. Give it a few months.
In the meantime, Jill Wagner, the hot Mercury ad girl was popular:
http://xbradtc.com/2009/08/11/load-heat-56/
http://whoisthathotadgirl.tumblr.com/post/39662534209/q-who-is-that-hot-girl-in-the-directv-genie
>> Rueben sammich, or steak and eggs?
Why do you have to pick?
I can only eat so much, Dave.
Can we talk about “worth your while?”
Mind.Blowing.Rock.Your.World.Bacon.
Yeah, that Mercury girl has the same vibe as the T-Mobile one.
Reuben.
heh.
I like bacon.
You like bacon.
I LOVE Cyn’s bacon.
Steak and cake was win.
Went with Steak and Eggs. Steak was a little overcooked, but it beats having to make my own lunch.
We need a new poat, but I’m too lazy to do it.
NO NEW POATS!
Wait, let’s find a video we like, and make a poat out of it.
Repeat.
Repeat.
How to make wine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t0mkeB9TCA
Hahahaha…great header! You tools are funny.
Mind.Blowing.Rock.Your.World.Bacon.
You gonna get that bacon from Laura?
*checks Google maps for mileage to Yucaipa*
NEW POAT, Peeps!
Man, the liberals are a bunch of howling monkeys over redistricting.
Guess what, bitches, when you controlled the state legislature after the 2000 census you called it redistricting. Since you didn’t control the state legislature after the 2010 census, you now call it gerrymandering.
Suck my cock.