Self-Defense

Earlier, there was some mockery directed at me for failing to recognize wiserbud’s, ahem, wit.  In my defense, please permit me to present the following case, which can be summarized in five words, thusly:  It would explain a lot.

Oso mentioned that no one would come out with a picture of Carmen Miranda.  (A) I didn’t know who it was; (2) Rosetta totally would; and (iii) I thought the point of that picture was that that’s how Rosetta, being gay, sees women.  I mean, have you ever seen one of Rosetta’s BBFs?  If not, here’s an illustration.

Top to bottom:  BBF chick, Rosetta

Top to bottom: BBF chick, Rosetta

I ask you: what’s more surprising, that the creator of a Kerry Marie BBF is gay, or that he isn’t?

Quod erat demonstrandum.

And in conclusion:  wiser, I pure hate you.

203 Comments

  1. Well played, Mrs. Peel.

    Also, we need a little rock and roll after all the house music:

  2. LOL.

  3. Hahahaha.

  4. Sorry to hear your wife is poorly, Jay. I hope she feels better soon. And don’t give her any freaking cranberry juice – that stuff is bitter as all get-out.

  5. (iii) I thought the point of that picture was that that’s how Rosetta, being gay, sees women.

    And then he mutters “Bitch.”

  6. Peelio is here!!!! Funneh!

  7. Wife sick? Sorry to hear, J’ames.

  8. HAHAHA! Way to go, PEEL!

  9. Cat crash helmet.

    http://bit.ly/WZsOUr

  10. I just loled all over my shoes. Well done, Mrs. Peel.

  11. This post sucks the dicks of a thousand suns.

  12. I was told there would be no Latin on this blog.

    promises were made

  13. This post sucks the dicks of a thousand suns.

    That’s gonna leave some mighty nasty canker sores.

  14. ZOMG! It’s (minor) drama on teh H2!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A0p-U1LBbQ

  15. Belated Happy Birthday, Will.

  16. Well, I’m sitting here with my thumb up my ass waiting for my client to show up and approve work.

    The thumb up the ass is habitual; has nothing to do with waiting.

  17. Dude. We’re watching Undercover Boss (we don’t have cable so basically the television just stays on whatever channel we were watching last night), and the boss was telling his family about working a night shift. They about crapped their pants, and the daughter, who was probably 15, gasped, “People really work then???” Yes, my little princess. Yes, they do.

  18. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCDXwOzG7fE

  19. I’m surprised Dan isn’t watching Undercover Boss. He loves that show.

  20. Bwahahahahahaha!!!! Love your category choices, Mrs. Peel.

    Also, I hope things are better at your place than mine.

  21. Peace through douche.

    Sounds like our State Department.

  22. Did anybody resort to eating anybody else to stay alive while trapped in the mountains today?

  23. Did anybody resort to eating anybody else to stay alive while trapped in the mountains today?

    Why would you put that off until you’re lost in the wild?

  24. I probably should have put resort to in scare quotes.

  25. I love up , peelio.

  26. Bazinga

  27. Cannibalism is my first resort.

  28. I almost had to resort to calling room service once, but then I found some airplane nuts.

  29. Cannibalism is my first resort.

    Well, until Nabisco finally gets Soylent Green on the market, I don’t blame you.

  30. airplane nuts.

    airplane nuts.

  31. Um, airplane nuts.

    http://bit.ly/14k3tL7

  32. Exactly!

  33. Rosetta has a plane?

  34. Ha ha ha . MJ is mad his post got pushed down like his mom’ s prom dress years ago.

  35. Well, it kinda does look like Kerry Marie up there.

  36. Ha ha ha . MJ is mad his post got pushed down like his mom’ s prom dress years ago.
    —————–
    You mean pushed down like a fat kid.

    Wait whu?

  37. Rosetta has a plane?

    Just so we’re perfectly clear–is that an actual photograph of Rosetta?

  38. Uncle.

  39. And in conclusion: wiser, I pure hate you.

    I ask you……..are we going to let this motion die for lack of a second?

    Fuck No!!!!! Second!!!

    Those of you wishing to vote “Aye” raise your hand.

  40. I knew the Enterprise’s fire was bad, but I don’t know that I knew it was THIS bad:

    http://tinyurl.com/a4wx8ab

  41. But Rosetta is really gay.

  42. >> Uncle

    That love which dare not speak its name.

  43. That wasn’t Carmen Miranda.

    And after looking at POL, when did DiT join the Blues Brothers?

  44. But Rosetta is really gay.

    IT WAS A JOKE.

    I just wish I knew that before I got him a year’s subscription to Rest Stop Hookups From Coast to Coast.

  45. I was originally going to post a picture of Jabba photoshopped into a bra and say that was a BBF chick. Unfortunately, I don’t have any photoshop skilz myself…

    Let’s just say that “Jabba bra” is one time you want to have safe search on.

  46. Hey, BiW, I think your email might have been hacked.

  47. Yeah, I figured that out when I got 17 delivery failure messages in 3 seconds yesterday.

  48. >> when did DiT join the Blues Brothers?

    1984, after my 6 year run with the Sons of the Buckaroos (SOBs)

  49. Yeah, you’re also apparently sending out links to something from “oxigenogestion.es.”

  50. Well Dave.
    Stripes!

  51. Yeah, you’re also apparently sending out links to something from “oxigenogestion.es.”

    You didn’t get the one for penis enlargment?

    Curious.

  52. We got a box of wood today Vmax.

  53. I saw that Scott.
    I really hope it is to your liking.
    Comparing yours to mine I feel inadequate.
    Orange trees do not grow as big as Cherry.
    Low hanging fruit and all.
    Try with seafood first

  54. Oh I am sorry I took so long.

  55. VMax, Looked through my stuff, but couldn’t find any Colibris. Did find a bunch of CB caps. They should work for you, but will probably make a little noise. Do you want me to send you some?

  56. Thank you Pepe
    I have shot 2 more rats eating my tomatoes with straight 22 LR. It sounds like an airgun and no one called the Po Lice.

    I eventually found some really old CB caps in my box o’ treasure.
    Thanks again.

    Totally surprised that Midway Natchez and Other on line places are sold out of 22 rim fire.

    *Loads 12 gauge with #4 buck*

  57. Vmax gave Scott wood?

    That is so wrong.

  58. Good Job Tushar!

  59. The way I got it figgered, #4 buck is about as good a killin’ round as a civilian can get aholt of.

  60. I’ll be go to hell if #4 buck didn’t kill dis po poat.

  61. So what do ya wanna talk about now? Foot long hot dogs?

  62. Un

    Fuck

    Ing

    Believable

  63. Love is not a gadget, love is not a toy
    When you find the one you love, she’ll fill your derp with joy

  64. For MJ. Nobody else click. Mostly NSFW

  65. On a totally unrelated note since I didn’t click on that, I never saw Black Swan. Is it any good?

  66. Sean, I downloaded it, but never got around to watching it. Good reviews, and based on that video, I’m gonna give it a shot one of these days.

  67. Morning.

  68. Still morning, about an hour later.

  69. Morning Jewstin. Let’s dance!

  70. Roads are a little slick.

    *4WD*

  71. *rubs paws on carpet*

  72. I liked Black Swan, but then again I’m into douchy art movies.

  73. I think I just saw most of the good parts of Black Swan.

  74. You’d probably like The Midnight Meat Train. It’s a douchy art horror movie.

  75. In fact you get double the douche since the main character is a douchy artist.

  76. MJ!

  77. wakey wkaey

  78. Mrs. Peel posts here?? She is wildly out of context.

    Who approved this?
    And where are the baby pictures?

  79. I just tried to make those banana egg pancakes. Pro tip, make them small. A little vanilla would be good too.

    I ended up with scrambled bananaeggs. Still tasty.

  80. Hahahah! This could have been me and my older sister.

  81. Still looking for a new career, MJ?

  82. Coffee?

  83. Huh. Motherfuckin electromagnets, how do they work?

  84. I blended my nannercakes with a stick blender until the mixture had no lumps. I added pumpkin pie spice to mine, but that was it.

  85. Magnetic coffee?

  86. Dave, EM wouldn’t attract a concrete block. That thing just sucks.

  87. Pulling on the rebar?

  88. It’s always tough to follow the “that thing just sucks” post.

    Here goes: Good morning good people and the rest of you!

  89. I guess you’re right, those are big pumps on top.

  90. SUCKS!

  91. SOCKS!

  92. Good morning children. Vacuum, how does it work?

  93. BBF DIY style

    http://tinyurl.com/bxyk3zm

  94. Does FX put Archer online anywhere, or do I need to pirate it?

  95. Is Archer on netflix?

    Just checked…1st 2 seasons only

  96. Pepe, thanks. I think someone sent me that link awhile ago, though, a lot of them are already in my binders.

  97. Good morning.

    I channeled Bill Cosby already this morning. “You roll your eyes at me, I’ll roll your head!”

  98. Cool beans. I have a hot date today.

  99. YOUR FATHER WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE WITH A BOZOOKA!

  100. I have a hot date today.

    Yeah, but it’s a guy.

    /BoogerFromRevengeOfTheNerds

  101. Hahahahahaha. Classic.

    Jewstin, I was going to link a pic of a frilly 70’s shirt for you to wear on your hot date, but then I thought better of it.

  102. I have to wear a shirt?

    Well, damn. This is going to be more work than I anticipated.

  103. Link the shirt, Roamy. Now I’m curious.

  104. G’Morning, peeps and peepers.

  105. Nice. Except mine is powder blue.

  106. Blue goes better with your eyes.

    Morning, Cyn.

  107. Started raining here late yesterday and it’s still raining now.

    Where the heck am I?!?

  108. Supposed to rain here Monday and Tuesday. That’s why I’m not shoveling.

  109. Where is anybody, really.

    I just got hairs cut, and got a free upgrade with a shampoo, hot towel, scalp and neck massage because I remembered my stylist’s sons name and what he got for Christmas.

    Then some guy flipped me the bird because I didn’t stop when I had the green light and let him make an illegal left turn in front of me. I was so taken aback I stopped about half a truck length later, giving him the option of getting out to apologize or keep going to a legal turn lane.He apparently decided to keep driving.

    Now I’m in line for an oil change. I love Saturday.

  110. I’m not a roadrage kind of person, but I understand.

    /chris rock

  111. Stupid drivers make me crazy. I mean, it’s really not that difficult to pay attention and drive, is it?

  112. Oh yeah, I get the roadrage thing too.

    We have a shitton of construction near us and some ditz was sitting in the oncoming lane. I’m beeping my horn and waving trying to get her attention so she doesn’t get hit. Nothing; she doesn’t even look at me. The light turns green and here come the cars at her, which now have to stop mid-intersection. She just deedle-dee made her left turn oblivious to it all.


  113. Stupid drivers make me crazy. I mean, it’s really not that difficult to pay attention and drive, is it?

    Hey, it interferes with sexting while on the road.

  114. I want to get an air horn. A freight train sounding air horn, and blast everyone I see texting while driving.

  115. I have to work this weekend. Le sigh. Meanwhile, Aaron is celebrating the weekend by driving me up the freaking wall with his stupid toys.

    Hey Roamy, what were you referring to last night about things being crummy at your place? I had heard a rumor that a RIF might be going down on your side. We’ve had several people take the early out on our end, so no RIF needed here.

  116. How do I get to be one of the special drivers who are allowed to cross, any time they like, the double double yellow lines separating the car pool lane from the fast lane?

    Because a lot of Clownifornian drivers are special.

  117. Oooooh yeah…airhorn.

  118. Air horn? Fine, but a set of Ben-Hur hubcaps are more fun.

  119. Freight train air horn. Sweet. Put me down for two.

  120. I think I’d like some sort of device that shoots a text message to them. Something fun. “Hey, asshole, pay attention and drive”, or maybe, “I know what you did last summer”.

  121. I have a buddy with the train horn. It is loud

  122. Greetings, rainy day women and men who must get stoned.

  123. the 95% reaction to a clueless idiot being train horned is anger.
    Clueless ignorance hates being train horned

  124. Mrs. Peel, some worries about a RIF, more that I can’t see any progress on SLS from my level (peon). Trying like mad to keep everyone funded. Getting caught up in a project that’s been FUBAR’d for over a year. Same shit, different day.

  125. I used to have air horns on my motorcycle.

    It would definitely get their attention.

  126. My sources tell me sequestration is coming.

    I didn’t even know it was breathing hard.

  127. In fact, we’re talking motorcycles on the air right now.

  128. My sources tell me sequestration is coming.

    I didn’t even know it was breathing hard.

    Make sure to tip your waitress!

  129. Mrs Jay is out of the hospital early, mainly because the doc didn’t want to come back later on a Saturday.

    Laziness, FTW! Sometimes it pays off.

  130. In fact, we’re talking motorcycles on the air right now.

    Quick, someone call in to wiser’s show and ask if they have Prince Albert in a can.

  131. Is your refridgerator running?

  132. http://www.watr.com/

  133. And yay for Mrs. Jay getting released. Hope she feels better real soon. Kidney stones suck.

  134. Glad to hear it Jay. Prayers for her speedy recovery.

  135. The wife has returned… No more slacking off, Jay.

  136. More prayers for Mrs. In Ames.

    Is Wiser on the radio right now?

  137. Glad Mrs in Ames is back home. Hospitals suck.

  138. Hospital food sucks too.

  139. Jay is your wife going to get her stone smashed?

  140. HA! Superior fuel will show me what is in my ducts!

    HAWT.

  141. BEANSES!

    http://tinyurl.com/ao3zkr5

    Leave ducks alone.

  142. PUPSES!

    http://tinyurl.com/9waol92

  143. I hope Mrs. in Ames is okay. Somehow, with all the abuse I put my kidneys through, I never managed to get any stones.

  144. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    You bastards got your wish.

    We have a guest on who runs a food and wine website. The host just had me on to talk with her.

    So yeah, I was just on the air discussing recipes.

  145. l to r, Beasn, Dave, Pups

    http://tinyurl.com/abp3gph

  146. wiser, will you look at this duct and tell me if it looks infected to you?

  147. l to r, Beasn, Dave, Pups

    Oh, I hate the nostril pull. Did your kids ever do that to you when they were babies? Ye-ouch.

  148. Hey, wiser, since you’re now a well-known Media Personality, you might want to have a word with this guy:

    http://www.jammiewf.com/2013/its-called-the-weather/

  149. >>>wiser, will you look at this duct and tell me if it looks infected to you?

    I’m not anywhere your duct until you spray it with an anti-microbial fogger.

  150. L to R

    Pup,Dave, Beansesaesas

  151. It’s called “Puttin’ some f’in knowledge”:

    Hi, Mrs. Peel!

  152. beasn, a friend who was a PT showed me how to untangle a baby grip from your hair (or in my case, chest hair). you put your thumb under their palm at the wrist, and use your fingers over the hand pushing down to close .. their tendons are short as babies, so the the hand just opens and it doesn’t hurt them.

    News you could’a used, a few years ago. I’m timely like that.

  153. >> I’m not anywhere your duct until you spray it with an anti-microbial fogger

    I did not know English was your second language.

    My bad.

  154. Comment by George Orwell on January 26, 2013 12:17 pm
    How do I get to be one of the special drivers who are allowed to cross, any time they like, the double double yellow lines separating the car pool lane from the fast lane?
    ===========
    Drive a garbage truck or a cement mixer. They always have the right-of-way, and nobody fucks with you.

  155. So yeah, I was just on the air discussing recipes.

    You may now divide by zero.

  156. News you could’a used, a few years ago.

    Once the hair pulling commenced, I shaved my head and chest. That, or I used a finger and slid it under theirs to loosen the grip. They learned quick ’cause they didn’t want to hurt mommy.

  157. And I did have the hairs on my head shortened considerably.

  158. “Thriller” is an oldie? Fuuuuuu…

  159. Home alone tonight…any good Netflix recommendations?

  160. I should look into this Netflix thing one of these days.

  161. Hey Xbad –

    I ~may~ be headed to CA about an hour south of you. I’m trying to find a loft bed for The Axeman and I’m waiting to hear back from the seller.

  162. Jimbro:
    Downton Abbey
    King’s Speech
    Hunt for Red October
    Twelve O’Clock High
    Serenity
    Act of Valor

  163. What’s a loft bed?

  164. My older one has a full size loft bed and loves it. Our ceilings are 10-foot so it makes for TONS more room in the bedroom.

  165. Thanks Roamy. Hunt for Red October is a classic. I’ll check the others out too. Earlier I watched Memorial Day on amazon prime but there was a lot of distractions from the kids doing their thing. It was a flashback movie between a kid asking his grandpa about WWII and him in Iraq. I might watch that again.

  166. That looks good…for a kid! We have bunk beds in one room and a queen bed in the other kids room. We have a queen for the grown ups but are thinking about a king. My friend says its needed for a happy marriage.

  167. The Axeman is not going to be happy with a girls loft bed.

    What town you headed to potentially?

  168. Kid is right; not something I’d relish getting in and out of. The older boy will be 15 in a few months and still likes it after having it about two years now.

  169. It’s in Heber, CA. The pic they posted is of the darker one. Mr. Cyn is out getting the oil changed on the truck right now, just in case.

  170. I just heard from the bed seller; they won’t be back in town until after 12 tomorrow, but I am hoping they can send me photos or give me a brand name.

  171. That’s actually 2 hours from here. And while I’d love to see you guys, your best route wouldn’t even come this way. Parts of that area are pretty, but others are pretty desolate.

  172. That far? It looked about an hour on the map and I’d have driven up to you.

    The deal probably won’t come through anyway. I did some searching on this ad and it’s been listed on and off since August so I’m guessing it’s crap. Although the email they just sent me said it was from a GSIII phone which is a buck ‘er two. Meh.

  173. WTF?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jyd1LdZpqA

  174. We had lofts in college, though ours were as plain and cheap as possible. I think the kits were $100- 150.

  175. Dog pinwheel!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LbhApNssdU

  176. My friend says its needed for a happy marriage.

    We just downgraded from a king to a queen. Your friend is incorrect.

  177. I’m skeptical of his advice. He is an Obama voter!

  178. My folks got me fresh straw to sleep on every spring whether I needed it or not.

  179. Home again.

  180. http://tinyurl.com/a447vd6

  181. Hot Date was pretty hot, right up until I saw the overflowing trashbag of empty vodka bottles in the kitchen.

  182. **scratches Jewstin off potential dating list**

  183. Yeah, I could never date a messy alcoholic. I can’t cope with messy.

  184. Leon and Xbrad totally ‘get’ me.

    *Hurls empty beer bottle into fireplace.

  185. What kind of vodka?

  186. I can polish off a six pack pretty handily (and then sleep very deeply), but what does it take to fill a trashbag with vodka bottles?

    There was a time Boise when I drank very heavily. I was perpetually exhausted and always felt like hammered shit. I don’t understand how it continues. I slowed it down just because I wanted to be able to accomplish stuff.

  187. Smirnoff.

  188. That last to Scott.

  189. Rodger Kokov

  190. Oh, the GOOD stuff!

  191. Neighbor just brought over her new grandbaby for a visit – sooooo cute!

  192. Douche!

  193. god damn changing out the headlight lenses on an 05 Camry is a bitch. You gotta pull the bumper cover and crawl on the driveway on your back and shit.

    I’m tired

  194. Dave, have you heard of mechanics? I checked. There are a few within driving distance from where you live.

  195. **tears a corner off Tushar’s man-card**

  196. NEW POLE POAT!


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