BUMPED: I, ROSETTA, am a proud gay man [ALERT! THIS IS A JOKE POST!!]

[Rosetta left an unused post in draft.  In case you didn’t realize it, no matter who completes the post, the person who originally created it is tagged as the author of that post.  So I, wiserbud, took Rosetta’s unused draft post and wrote the following.]

You may have noticed my absence in the past few months.  [JOKE ALERT:  NO ONE NOTICED OR CARED!!]

You may have assumed it is because of the changes I have experienced over the last 12 to 18 months, such as having a son and moving to a new home. [USE OF COMMONLY KNOWN FACTS ABOUT TARGET OF JOKE TO ESTABLISH “BONA FIDES” OF “AUTHOR” IN ORDER TO SET UP JOKE!!]

Well, that is not the only change that I have experienced recently. [SETUP!!  GET READY…  HERE COMES THE JOKE!!!]

I have come to the realization that I am, and probably always have been….  gay.[HAHAHAHAHAHA!  SHOCKING PUNCHLINE!  SEE, WE HAVE ALL CALLED ROSETTA GAY FOR YEARS AND NOW, I AM MAKING IT SEEM LIKE HE IS ACTUALLY, REALLY COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!]

SURPRISE!!!!

[JOKE ALERT!  ABOVE PIC AN ATTEMPT TO SHOW THAT THIS IS MEANT TO BE A  HUMOROUS POST!!]

Honestly, I guess, in retrospect, it’s not really that much of a surprise.  You really didn’t have to be a Mensa candidate to figure out the clues. [JOKE ALERT:  ALLUSION TO CONSTANT ACCUSATIONS OF “ROSETTA HAS TEH GHEY”!]

[JOKE ALERT:  HUMOROUS VIDEO IS AN ATTEMPT TO ONCE AGAIN OVERTLY INSINUATE THAT THIS POST IS, IN REALITY, A JOKE!]

Now, you may think that this will change my political point of view, but you couldn’t be further from the truth.  IMO, the defining concept of Conservatism is “live and let live.”  You don’t bother me or force your beliefs on me and I will do the same for you. [JOKE ALERT:  AGAIN USING SUPPOSED “FACTS” TO MAKE YOU THINK THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THIS IS A TRUE AND HONEST POST, AS OPPOSED TO ONE BIG JOKE!!]

damn, that’s hot.

[JOKE ALERT:  NO, THIS IS, IN FACT, NOT HOT!!]

Yes.  I.. Rosetta, am a proud gay man. [JOKE ALERT!  IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT FIGURED IT OUT YET, THIS POST WAS MEANT AS A JOKE AND  ROSETTA HAS NOT COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!!]

[yet.]

Deal with it , hosefuckers.  [JOKE ALERT:  DEAL WITH IT, HOSEFUCKERS!!]

UPDATE:

397 Comments

  1. Bwahahahahahahaha

  2. Holyshit even funnier.

  3. so is he gay or not?

  4. Ummm…….didn’t he already post this?

    Or am I missing something?

  5. or are you just saying he’ s not ready to come out.

    no worries. his secret is safe with us.

  6. Never mind –

    I have now officially turned into my mother……

  7. Asked Siri if this poast is a joke, she said:

    “I don’t think you’d understand a joke my language. They’re not so funny anyway.”

  8. “a joke in my language”

  9. HAHA! I’m holding my sides BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Whooo Boy.

  10. we should ask Siri if he’s gay.

  11. so.. too subtle?

  12. I don’t understand the picture of wiser holding a tin of Altoids. Shouldn’t that be Rosetta?

  13. I don’t get it.

  14. “a joke in my language”

    “in”

    as opposed to

    “out”

    *falls out of chair LOL’ing*

  15. Okay, I asked Siri if she is gay. She asked me if I wanted to search the web to find the answer.

    So, that’s pretty gay.

  16. I’m thinkin’ that someone didn’t get that it was a joke the first time so now we’re getting beaned over the head with it again.

  17. Okay, I asked Siri if she is gay. She asked me if I wanted to search the web to find the answer.

    I think that depends on which search engine she sends you to to search.

  18. AND ROSETTA HAS NOT COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!!

    It’s okay. So long as it’s lined with cedar, he won’t become moth-eaten.

  19. The categories… haha!

  20. I asked Siri if Rosetta had come out of the closet. She searched the web and This was result number two:

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111127100149AA7ZiMX

    Fine, I admit it. I like nintendocore
    BQ2: Breekachu – We Butter the Bread With Butter
    Answer by Rosetta Stoned is Sober 1 year ago

  21. Ummm…….didn’t he already post this?
    Or am I missing something?
    ——————–
    Hahahahahahaha. This the best comment and post in the history of the interwebfacedoucheplantchimppunch.

  22. Agreed, MJ.

    I may have had to cross my legs a bit while LOL’ing in my pants!

  23. I don’t get it.

  24. So, yesterday, Pat is talking to a guy who’s military son was tasked to work at Camp David. He was there both when the Obama’s were there, and when they were absent.

    He witnessed Michelle order Obama around, and said – unquestionable- that michelle HATES white people.

  25. Unfortunately, that doesn’t surprise me. I wish it was wrong.

  26. Car in was right

  27. He witnessed Michelle order Obama around, and said – unquestionable- that michelle HATES white people.

    Why else do you think she is popular with white liberals?

  28. Just so I can be sure I did not imagine it: Yesterday, when asked why her administration lied to the public about the cause of the murders and nonexistent security in Benghazi, Cankles actually got off the hook by saying “what difference does it make?”

    Because no real republic with sane citizens could tolerate this.

  29. Bullet found on schoolbus in Sheffield.

    3 Sheffield schools in lock-down.

    *sigh

  30. they found an unloaded gun in the bathroom of one of our little elementary school.

    *yawn*

    Everyone up here owns a gun.

    (It belonged to security, who set it own to take a leak and forgot it fora bit).

    Yawn.

  31. A bullet on a bus. Why yes, let’s get hysterical. We need hysteria to set a fire under the Second Amendment if’n we wanna burn it.

  32. an actual bullet? Or was it a nail driver cartridge like Hotspur talked about yesterday.

    I can see that happening.

  33. Aren’t schools gun-free zones, Car in?

  34. He witnessed Michelle order Obama around, and said – unquestionable- that michelle HATES white people.

    This is my shocked face.

  35. Aren’t schools gun-free zones, Car in?

    HA!

  36. I nearly threw boatshoes through the television last night. The local news covered coke-bottle glassed Cankles Clinton at her testimony. They devoted an entire 25 seconds to it. They played her ugly, petulant “what difference does it make” outburst. Of course, the news didn’t see it as ugly and petulant. All they said, and I mean all, About the hearing was that “emotions ran high”. Not a single word about the content being discussed, not a word about Clinton’s veracity, not a word about the substance of her excuses. Nothing. No quotes or soundbites from any of the Senators, Congressmen or her adversaries. Nothing.

    It’s official, this is a fucking banana republic.

  37. Vmax – how many slices of Happy Birthday Cake™ have you eaten so far today?

  38. Boatshoes? Boatshoes?!?
    Both shoes.
    Siri makes a lousy secretary.

  39. Happy Birthday, Vmax.

    http://imgur.com/gallery/NH6Mn

  40. >> If LauraW has no bamapho, how does she do sexting?

    She chisels it onto a pyramid and ships it.

  41. None yet Cyn

  42. Hahahahahahaha. This the best comment and post in the history of the interwebfacedoucheplantchimppunch.

    The saddest thing is that I was completely serious.
    I’m confused…..

    *takes a seat on the short bus*

  43. Zeke keeps putting his tennis ball in my lap. Does that count as a birthday present? If so 54

  44. And who the hell told Kindle that they could add a “2nd generation” Kindle Fire to their line-up and not let us dinosaurs get an upgrade? Rebecca can’t be part of their cool kids club (Kindle Free Time) unless she has the latest version.

    It’s a sad day when your 11-year-old special-needs child has niftier “toys” than you do….. :P

  45. FTR, I got that it was a joke the first time.
    Hence, the confusion.

    Laugh away; my kids do all the time…..

  46. George, my mother’s take-away from yesterday’s spectacle was that Hillary “gets shit done.”

    That’s what the meme said she posted, anyway.

    I asked her “what shit does she do?”,but I haven’t gotten a response yet.

  47. Does that count as a birthday present?

    Of course! They know. I’ll bet you got a few extra kisses too.
    M’wah!

  48. Is it wrong that I went to “The Intuitive Vegan”s page on Facebook and asked her what her views on abortion are?

    (No, I’m not kidding – one of my FB friends “Liked” that page)

    She sent me a long (non)reply, so I asked her again, and then asked her how she could deprive a carrot of its life, just so that she could have something on her plate.

    I’m sure I’m going to Hell……

  49. BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Just spoke with a prospect where I am up against my former employers again.

    He said they gave him a quote and he asked me “What the hell is wrong with those guys? Do they not understand the industry we’re in?”

    I had to tell him I used to work there and I asked them that question from the inside aaaalllllll the time. But I am glad to hear that they have maintained their pricing integrity, as that’s great news for my new company.

  50. He witnessed Michelle order Obama around, and said – unquestionable- that michelle HATES white people.

    Given their views on abortion, they hate black people as well.

    Too bad for both of them that there are still more of us than there are of them (and they’re not making things any better for “them”).

  51. http://tinyurl.com/artqkj8

  52. But I am glad to hear that they have maintained their pricing integrity, as that’s great news for my new company.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

    Anyone who says that revenge isn’t sweet doesn’t know what they are talking about…..

  53. http://tinyurl.com/artqkj8

    You owe me a new keyboard…..

  54. I hate people regardless of their color.

    Its what MLK was talking about in the Gettysburg Address.

  55. Greetings, people who have in all likelihood never lip-synched the Star Spangled Banner.

  56. I can’t believe you had to explain the joke. I figured it was Rosetta bait, and not an actual Rosetta post. There was no pic of Floyd rubbing his giblets on the carpet.

  57. You owe me a new keyboard…..

    You were supposed to swallow, not spit.

  58. I’ve never lip-synched the SSB, but I’ve mumbled my way through a few bits.

  59. You were supposed to swallow, not spit.

    Well-played, sir…..well-played…… :P

  60. Its what MLK was talking about in the Gettysburg Address.

    JOKE ALERT: MLK DID NOT GIVE THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS!!! THIS JOKE IS SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE IT CAN BE CONSIDERED TO BE TRUE BY LOW INFORMATION VOTERS AND LIBERALS!

  61. I can’t believe you had to explain the joke.

    heh. yeah, me neither.

  62. Someone actually thought the original post was cereal?! WTF, people?! This is THE HOSTAGES!

  63. Is it possible that The Left doesn’t want people to own guns because then women wouldn’t be able to defend themselves against rape, which could in turn mean that they might not need an abortion?

    Hey, it’s not so hard to Think Like A LiberalTM !

  64. Attention Ghey and Not Gay Fairy Tale Things

    Jimbro has been added to the POL Page.

  65. They fear what they don’t understand. It’s really that simple.

    Top Liberal Fears:

    1. Guns
    2. The weather
    3. The South
    4. Conservatives

  66. Dang. He ugly.

  67. I don’t get it, Cyn.

  68. F. Live babies

  69. G. Christians

  70. Finally! Our first black Hostage!

  71. H. Math

  72. I don’t get it, Cyn.

    HAHAHA!

    cyn ♥s shawn

  73. H. Self Reliance

  74. J. Cleanliness

  75. K. Responsibility

  76. Jimbro, you appear to be a rather tall, imposing fella…..

    *makes note to “be nice” when commenting on Jimbro’s comments*

  77. L. Jello

  78. Finally! Our first black Hostage!

    Well, the first real one anyway.

    /Billy Jeff Clinton

  79. Did someone change the flipping passwords – AGAIN?

  80. I haven’t looked at the rest of you….YET. I don’t know whether I should shatter the imaginary pictures I’ve formed of you in my head. Poll time: 1. Look and face reality?
    2. Let delusion reign supreme?
    3. Hurl balls of shit at my captors.

    You decide!

  81. Jimbro has been added to the POL Page.

    I didn’t know Jimbro knew MJ. When did they meat-up?

  82. Always go with (C).

  83. Finally! Our first black Hostage!

    Wait… J’Ames isn’t black?

  84. Did someone change the flipping passwords – AGAIN?

  85. Did someone change the flipping passwords – AGAIN?

    Not I, but as an admin, you can get into the page through the dashboard

  86. Stupidest Poat On the Internet Award

  87. Only your passwords, Chief.

  88. Stupidest Poat On the Internet Award

    Don’t blame me.

  89. Massive awesomeness, via John E.:

  90. Mom!!! Jimbro is stuck in a delusional state again!!

  91. Jimbro’s afraid to look… HAHAHA!

    I don’t blame you one bit there buddy. Not one bit.

  92. HAHAHA!

    cyn ♥s shawn

    Right back atcha, YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

  93. After sensing an affront to my masculinity and considering the topic of this post I have decided to take the plunge and view POL. You best cover up now.

  94. That was awesome, Laura.

    *runs to faceouche

  95. POLL ADDED TO POAT!!!!

    TAKE THE POLL!! TAKE IT!!!

  96. Why can’t I take the poll?

    (Your whore mouths, shut them)

  97. You’re not my read dad.

  98. real

  99. HAHAHAHAHAHA democracy works.

  100. TAKE THE POLL!!

    YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DADDY!!!

  101. F5 d’oh!

  102. George, my mother’s take-away from yesterday’s spectacle was that Hillary “gets shit done.”

    Well, she’s good at getting people killed.

  103. I did F5

    *kicks blog, runs from room*

  104. You need to add another option to your pole.

    http://tinyurl.com/664f2uw

  105. I wonder if Jimbro will actually come back after seeing our POL pix…

  106. Well, she’s good at getting people killed.

    Vince Foster was unavailable for comment.

  107. Interesting poll results so far.

  108. I wonder if Rosetta will actually stop by to see this poat…

  109. I wonder who actually wrote The Book of Love…

  110. You need to add another option to your pole.

    http://tinyurl.com/664f2uw

    ^^ This. ^^


  111. I wonder if Rosetta will actually stop by to see this poat…

    Rosetta who?

  112. Loved that thing from John E

  113. Loved that thing from John E

    ts, dr

  114. *does that finger nose touchy thingy with one hand while pointing at George with the other*

  115. I wonder who actually wrote The Book of Love…

    L. Ron Hubbard.

  116. Alright, I’m back. First, let me say that, as a group, you pretty much met my expectations.

    There were a few exceptions however.

    Not nearly the cretinous troglodytes I was prepared for viewing. I see worse every time I go grocery shopping.

  117. Not nearly the cretinous troglodytes I was prepared for viewing

    We took Xbrad’s pic off and replaced with something Cyn found on Reddit.

    But other than that, yeah, nice looking group, huh?

  118. I see worse every time I go grocery shopping.

    You don’t just have your servants do that for you? How delightfully gauche!

  119. Laura,
    That was pretty cool!
    Thanks!

  120. What if we find out that the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?

  121. I like to see how the general population is spending my EBT money at the grocery. They seem not to be starving.

    The Hostage men and women are a fine group I’m happy to associate with. I would not deny my association with this group.

  122. I would not deny my association with this group.

    Sucka!

  123. I would not deny my association with this group.

    *sees loss of medical license in near future*

  124. FTR, Jimbro, my POL picture is the one that came with Mr. TiFW’s wallet.

  125. I would not deny my association with this group.

    You sure you didn’t look at the Hostage Pets page by mistake?

  126. Comment by Jimbro on January 24, 2013 2:11 pm
    Not nearly the cretinous troglodytes I was prepared for viewing. I see worse every time I go grocery shopping.
    ========
    Ahh, evidently another WalMart shopper.

  127. You realize all of those POL pictshures are fakes we took from the internet based on our various sock puppet attributes.

    Scott and laura are the only real people on this blog. Well, maybe just laura.

  128. Comment by lauraw on January 24, 2013 1:37 pm
    Massive awesomeness, via John E.:

    Saweeeeeet!

  129. Mine is the same one I use for my Fitocracy avatard.

  130. Scott and laura are the only real people on this blog.

    Mare is too real !

    *runs off to bedroom and slams door*

  131. I was disappointed about the lack of a visible hump on laura.

  132. Mare is real all right.

  133. Thanks cyn! I’m real and I’m not spectacular!

  134. are inflatables allowed on the Hostages pet page?

  135. Only if they’re functional

  136. I would not deny my association with this group.

    That’s nice, but should you be caught or killed, wiserbud will disavow any knowledge of your actions.

  137. Help me out here people!

    http://tinyurl.com/aw654ms

  138. http://imgur.com/gallery/vvDirWF

  139. http://imgur.com/gallery/vvDirWF

    BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

  140. Help me out here people!

    http://tinyurl.com/aw654ms

    ——————
    No way! I need my medicine!

  141. That hurt pupster. Tom is feeling sad right now. Don’t pile on. He needs to recover with Gi now and he’ll be right as rain by August 2013 we hope.

  142. if I smoke this thing long enough I will be seeing a unicorn.

  143. GO, what you smoking? I have a La Flor Dominica Airbender going now.

  144. http://imgur.com/gallery/vvDirWF

    That third comment, “Plot twist: the water on the slide is from his tears”, is the best!

  145. what difference does it make if I don’t see a unicorn? Hillary is mocking the death of four people.

  146. Shoot, gotta run and get the kids from school.

    *Awards self negligent dadda ribbon*

  147. No, I did not know the original post was a joke, because I kept thinking, “Well, that would explain a lot.” Also, I had no way of knowing that wiser wrote it. So there you have it.

  148. A 601 Habano, about 6 x 56. Not bad but a bit tame.

  149. because I kept thinking, “Well, that would explain a lot.”

    BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  150. So is Rosetta still a lesbian or not?

  151. So is Rosetta still a lesbian or not?

    From what he says, he still likes chicks.

    Make from that what you will…

  152. Also, I had no way of knowing that wiser wrote it

    Rocket scientists can’t read bylines?

    Tsk.

    (Hope you and Weel and the li’l guy are well)

  153. Rosetta is a sort of quantum mechanical lesbian. Whether or not he’s lesbian depends on if you look inside the box where he keeps his pussy.

  154. If you just get the H2 twitterfeed, all you see is the title.

    Also, http://i.imgur.com/gkE9u82.jpg

  155. I will most certainly ~not~ be looking inside his box.

    {{shudders}}

  156. From what he says, he still likes chicks.

    Pffft. Who doesn’t.

  157. Rocket scientists can’t read bylines?

    The original post was under Rosetta’s byline. This post was copied from that post, so now it has my by-line.

  158. Obligatory:

  159. “I will most certainly ~not~ be looking inside his box.”

    Don’t worry. You need a cyclotron to do that.

  160. Also:

    **Language Warning**

  161. Shoot, gotta run and get the kids from school.

    *Awards self negligent dadda ribbon*

    Walking is good for them. It builds character. And calluses.

  162. Cyn?

    http://imgur.com/gallery/QvZP7ae

  163. Pffft. Who doesn’t.

    *puts down cushions for the inevitable *thud

  164. Walking is good for them. It builds character. And calluses.

    I bet CO Alex walked to school 5 miles in the snow, uphill both ways.

    Just like me.

  165. If you were wondering whether or not Ace reads this POS, that’s a negative:

    I’m trying to build on his joke: Can we do the same thing? Can we take anything we don’t like and throw the “assault” designator in front of it and get it banned?

    Orwell’s been doing that in the comments here for at least the last couple of weeks.

  166. HAHAHAHAHA! Pups – get on! http://is.gd/VyMMXR

  167. I cleaned the master bathroom but, took a day off from working out after 3 in a row. Does this make me a bad person?

  168. If you ask me this whole page is an assault post.

  169. Does this make me a bad person?

    Trick question. You were already a bad person.

  170. Wow. A car just now nearly ran over Hillary Clinton.

    I mean a squirrel.

  171. I bet CO Alex walked to school 5 miles in the snow, uphill both ways.

    Just like me.

    Not five miles, but certain 2 miles each way while in high school. And I rode my bike in the spring/summer.

    When I was in first grade through third grade I walked about a mile to school each day. It wasn’t bad.

  172. I cleaned the master bathroom but, took a day off from working out after 3 in a row. Does this make me a bad person?

    No, but the dead hooker does.

  173. I cleaned the master bathroom but, took a day off from working out after 3 in a row. Does this make me a bad person?
    ——————–
    I think you are really nice and deserved the day off.

    Bitch.

  174. I could have sworn that the original poat had wiserbud’s byline. It definitely had his greasy fingerprints everywhere.

  175. Trudging through the snow in a small suburb of Houston 7 months of the school year made me who I am today.

    Trying to figure out how the streets always managed to be “uphill” on both the morning and afternoon sojourn inspired me to study engineering in college.

    I’m still convinced an intricate system of gears, wheels, and pulleys is how the city fathers managed to pull it off, but to this day, nobody’s talking down at City Hall……

  176. So the original post hurt Nancy Boy’s feelings?

  177. Feelings are important. And speshul.

  178. So the original post hurt Nancy Boy’s feelings?

    HIs pussy box must be made out of cardboard.

  179. Wait a second….? Who got butthurt?

  180. HIs pussy box must be made out of cardboard.

    Rosetta is biodegradable?

  181. So the original post hurt Nancy Boy’s feelings?

    I got an email from him telling me that some people didn’t realize it was a joke.

    I wonder who that was and how he found out, but I felt it was best to clarify that it was a joke, plus I thought it would make for an even funnier post.

  182. I got an email from him telling me that some people didn’t realize it was a joke.
    —————————–
    Obama reads this blog?

  183. HE got the joke and thought it was funny, but I guess others might have missed it.

    Who knows? Maybe he was getting congratulation e-mails from people.

  184. I got an email from him telling me that some people didn’t realize it was a joke.

    Hahahahahaha

    What a fucking tool. We’ve always known he is a total fag.

  185. Fascinating read. . .

    http://nymag.com/news/features/high-school-2013-1/

  186. Well, to be fair to Ace…he doesn’t read his own blog. Why should we think he reads this craplog?

  187. what I am finding amazing is that we’re ~190 comments in and still talking about the topic of the post.

  188. Could be one of our gay friend who potentially didn’t find the humor in it.

    XBrad, was it funny?

  189. I know there is a hostages photo page or something like that. If I were foolish enough to want to post anything over there, how would I go about such a reckless course of action? On the other hand, then I would have to know what fake Internet friends look like. So there is still time to talk me out of this.

  190. You can’t see the poat unless you submit POL of yourself.

  191. GO – Send a photo to Cyn. She will give you the latest password to the POL page. Easy-Peasy!

  192. DO EEET, George.

    cynisthehottestcreatureontheplanet
    @
    coxrightnow.com

    Hurry!!!

  193. I’m dead so I’m not very bright. I’m not sure how to find Cyn’s email address.

  194. Oh, Cyn beat me to it.

  195. what I am finding amazing is that we’re ~190 comments in and still talking about the topic of the post.

    A brilliant ploy, wiserbud.

  196. Cyn is the resident expert on POL stuff.

  197. Wow, I’m slow today!

    Stupid work

  198. Well shit…

    *wonders if it is too late to cancel the order of the coffee table book “Wide Stances: Anonymous Restroom Love that was ordered for Rosetta as a gift”

  199. Done, Cyn.

  200. I’m not sure I have the latest passwords for POL…

  201. *wonders if it is too late to cancel the order of the coffee table book “Wide Stances: Anonymous Restroom Love that was ordered for Rosetta as a gift”

    nah… he’ll still enjoy it.

    If only to search it for pics of xbrad.

  202. And now my email will disappear from teh bots!

  203. Go into the dashboard to View, BiW; you can also look up the pw there too.

  204. Mare is too real !

    *runs off to bedroom and slams door*

    There, there Cyn. It’s ok. We all come to the truth of the situation in our own time.

    *whispers* Let’s give her some space, guys.

  205. In post topic related news:

    My ass hurts.

  206. I’m not an admin, Cyn.

    I prolly have the passwords somewhere…and I should prolly update my POL pic anyway. I just haven’t yet perfected Wiser’s “Touch My Monkey” pose yet.

  207. Wait, you’re telling me the poat was a joke?

    Damn them, damn them all to hell!”

  208. Check you he-stringmail, Blackie

  209. Wait, you’re telling me the poat was a joke?

    Damn them, damn them all to hell!”

    Rosetta’s not ready to come out.

  210. Did you guys see that picture of the Obama’s during the Inaugural parade?

    http://www.whitehousedossier.com/2013/01/24/photo-obamas-review-inaugural-parade/

    Classy.

    Every member of the family on their iPhones or whatever.

  211. Just to clarify, My last comment was a joke!

  212. http://minx.cc/?post=336869

    Very good poast from Ace on the media fused with Leviathan.

  213. Paging Mr. Orwell, Paging Mr. Orwell:

    Waiting for your reply email. That is all.

  214. Just to clarify, My last comment was a joke!

    *snicker

  215. Answered, Cyn.

  216. Just to clarify, My last comment was a joke!

    Maybe we should label them?

    I suggest a tag

    and to indicate when you’re done.

  217. Is that a snicker or a snicker-snicker?

  218. j and /j

    They didn’t show up.

  219. I suggest a tag
    and to indicate when you’re done.

    /lit cigarette

  220. Heh. SloJo was on his phone too.

  221. Heh. SloJo was on his phone too.

    Yeah, but his is just a speak and spell with the speaker removed.

  222. Classy.

    Every member of the family on their iPhones or whatever.

    Trash. They are absolute low class trash.

  223. I know Car in. sarcasm tags don’t show up either.

    Stupid internet

  224. http://tinyurl.com/atkwjtx

  225. Trash. They are absolute low class trash.

    Agreed

    sent from my iPhone

  226. Heh. SloJo was on his phone too.

    At least he had the sound turned off for Angry Birds.

  227. Joe was coloring, not playing Angry Birds.

  228. Heh. SloJo was on his phone too.

    He was trying to text from his beeper.

  229. Just to clarify, My last comment was a joke!

    Heh.

    But you’re not a spectator to a national tradition, being performed in your honor.

    Or are you?

  230. Attention Jokesters & Non-Joke-Getters

    George Orwell is hereby OUTTED as being IN the POL!!!

  231. I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!

    /joke

  232. Why did you put him in the wrong order, Cyn?

  233. Agreed

    I hate to say this, but I fully expect one of the daughters to get knocked up out of wedlock. The only question is if mom and dad will force her into the stirrups to ‘fix’ the mistake or if she’ll go willingly.

  234. Whaaa?? Wrong order?!!

    Are you messing with my CDO again??

    *races back in to look*

  235. And who’s the hot chick?

  236. *races back in to look*

    Oooops, forgot the /joke! My bad!

    http://tinyurl.com/atkwjtx

  237. And who’s the hot chick?

    Rosetta? Probably not…

  238. The only question is if mom and dad will force her into the stirrups to ‘fix’ the mistake or if she’ll go willingly.

    What happens if she keeps it? Makes a point of keeping it? I can’t imagine anything better to slow the tide of AAs slowly aborting themselves out of existence.

  239. George looks good for a dead man

  240. Hot chick is into necrophilia. Mrs. Orwell.

  241. Zeke is fucking adorable.

  242. What happens if she keeps it? Makes a point of keeping it? I can’t imagine anything better to slow the tide of AAs slowly aborting themselves out of existence.

    Honestly, with an illigitimacy rate north of 70%, the last thing the AA community needs is a high profile single mother to “celebrate”.

    But I think that if she decides to have the baby, it will quietly be given up for adoption. The Obama’s have an image to maintain and a knocked up daughter won’t go well in the circles that they want to travel in.

  243. I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!
    /joke
    ————–
    Maybe we should have a tag for a bad joke. Like /xbrad.

  244. That pic of MJ on the bike….

    That’s a Hot Wheels bike, right?

  245. The only question is if mom and dad will force her into the stirrups to ‘fix’ the mistake or if she’ll go willingly.

    Aren’t abortions in the case of incest sort of automatic?

  246. Aren’t abortions in the case of incest sort of automatic?

    It’s not going to be incest. She looks too much like a girl to appeal to him.

  247. That pic of MJ on the bike….
    That’s a Hot Wheels bike, right?

    Excellent job of photoshopping out the training wheels.

  248. That pic of MJ on the bike….
    That’s a Hot Wheels bike, right?
    ————————-
    It’s one of those depth perception deals. That’s not the ocean in the background, its a kiddie pool.

  249. http://is.gd/xdTbo9

    HAHAHAHAHAHA. What is it with this guy?

  250. HAHAHAHAHAHA. What is it with this guy?

    Lord of the flies

  251. He is a walking turd.

  252. Maybe Michelle kissed him in that spot.

  253. Mr. Orwell, your lovely bride looks like someone us Hostagettes could corrupt in just a couple of hours.

    We’ll have her debauched by the end of the first Happy Hour at the next meat-up……. :P

  254. We’ll have her debauched by the end of the first Happy Hour at the next meat-up…….

    How much more debauched can she become? She’s already a necrophiliac.

  255. Just got word that one of our friends’ baby llamas won Grand Champion at the Fort Worth Stock Show today –

    His name is Maximus.
    (Coinky-dink?)

  256. He’s full of shit and the flies know it.

  257. That fly is clearly one of the 47%.

  258. Necrophilia is the desire to mate with a person of the necro race, right?

  259. Hey, Preezy, we always knew you had shit for brains.

  260. *races back in to look*
    Oooops, forgot the /joke! My bad!

    http://tinyurl.com/atkwjtx

    DAMMIT!

  261. TiFW,
    Looks like they got a couple more of you “resistors”.

    http://tinyurl.com/b9ot8bf

  262. Chrispy, the second lady to be arrested got busted for “attempted eavesdropping.” Haven’t the courts repeatedly found that police in the course of their duties have no expectation of privacy, and filming them is not a crime?

  263. Taking DD#3 to see Gone With The Wind tonight – good thing I bought tickets early; looks like it’s gonna be a full house this evening.

    (We can reserve seats at the Movie Tavern)

  264. so, if women are now going to be allowed on the front lines, can the lawsuits from these same women for being treated like a man be far behind?

  265. If that’s not on Insty, it should be.

  266. First day with the bifocals. I feel like one of those nodding dogs.

  267. ChrisP, unfortunately, I was assimilated into the collective when I made the mistake of letting the dogs in, rather than leaving one at all times to patrol the back alley.

    One look at our Great Pyrenees is enough to make most people decide they don’t really want to come in the yard.

    The UPS driver, on the other hand, thinks she’s the sweetest thing ever (and he’s right)……

  268. so, if women are now going to be allowed on the front lines, can the lawsuits from these same women for being treated like a man be far behind?

    Nope, they’ll come sooner than anyone thinks. The first time a woman shows up at an infantry platoon and discovers what that culture is like, she’ll run crying to some NOW attorney to sue the Army. Plus you’ll have the lawsuits and investigations of military leadership when a disproportionate number of women wash out of combat training because they can’t hack it physically.

  269. The first time a drill sergeant talks mean to one of them, Gloria Allred will be there in all her glory.

  270. The first time a drill sergeant talks mean to one of them, Gloria Allred will be there in all her glory.

    That’s already been the case for a while.

  271. All I know is that we don’t have anything resembling real equality until women lose the ability to choose or decline front-line situations, and are required by law to register for the draft.

    This isn’t equality, men are disposable and women get to pick.

  272. Let me be the first on this poat to tell that scrunt, Gloria Allred, to go blow a donkey.

  273. What’s the equivalent of a DI calling a boot a whistle dick, if that boot is woman?

  274. All I know is that we don’t have anything resembling real equality until women lose the ability to choose or decline front-line situations, and are required by law to register for the draft.

    This isn’t equality, men are disposable and women get to pick.

    You want equality in the military? Fine, then end all gender distinction. Women train in the same platoons, live in the same bays, use the same open shows and shitters as men. They are held to the same physical fitness requirements and the same grooming standards. Oh, and require them to be on some sort of long term birth control or punish them with UCMJ when they get pregnant, same as if Joe does something stupid and breaks his leg.

  275. until women lose the ability to choose or decline front-line situations, and are required by law to register for the draft.

    And not be allowed to sue over hurt feelings or supposed “harassment”

    Wasn’t that the big deal a while back, with women in Iraq? All of these women coming out with stories of their sexual harassment at the hands of those evil male soldiers?

    Here’s an idea. let’s make the military all women for a while. Let them carry the load for a couple of hundred years, like the men have.

    Then let’s see if they still want to bitch about being looked at funny.

  276. I sent the link to Insty, Leon.

  277. Clint, that’s how she paid her way through law school. She won’t go any lower than a well-bred stallion with papers these days.

  278. Alex, I agree 100% If that reduces female enlistment, I defer to Grumpy Cat for an appropriate response.

  279. Must read. On Cankles’ noxious perfidy.

    http://reason.com/blog/2013/01/24/3-incredibly-outrageous-evasions-by-hill

  280. Afternoon.

  281. Lauraw?

    http://tinyurl.com/amq85dn

    Scottw?

    http://tinyurl.com/aj5eh73

  282. I defer to Grumpy Cat for an appropriate response.

    http://tinyurl.com/aky3wkl

  283. Scottw?

    http://tinyurl.com/aj5eh73

    That’s sort of like American Beauty. But without the hot chick and rose petals, and sex. And music. But otherwise identical.

  284. I want a refund!
    I shot a rat. Eating my tomatoes. From 6′ using Rat Shot.

    Bastard ran away.

  285. Comment by wiserbud on January 24, 2013 3:47 pm
    HE got the joke and thought it was funny, but I guess others might have missed it.
    Who knows? Maybe he was getting congratulation e-mails from people.
    ============
    Maybe he was getting too many propositions from the ad you put on Match.com………….

  286. When I get home, I’m making these.

  287. Wasn’t that the big deal a while back, with women in Iraq? All of these women coming out with stories of their sexual harassment at the hands of those evil male soldiers?

    The dirty little secret is that we’ve not successfully integrated women into the service. But no one wants to talk about the problems that crop up, or if they do they blame it on the troglodyte men. Remember, it’s a culture of sexual harassment, but no one talks about the fact that many women become “Queen for a Year” and take advantage of it.

  288. Vmax,
    use a CB-Cap. Very quiet, frangible, and no ricochet…

  289. The first time a drill sergeant talks mean to one of them, Gloria Allred will be there in all her glory flapping her glory hole.

    Fixed it for you.

  290. Drop your cocks and grab your socks.

  291. That would do Chris I was digging through my box o’ treasure and found the CCI’s first

  292. “What’s the equivalent of a DI calling a boot a whistle dick, if that boot is woman?”

    Tube steak taco?

  293. Hey wiser, now that you have an iPhone, there is an app that can listen to a scrap of music and identify it for you if you want to know what it is. Wife uses it, it’s called Soundhound.

  294. Comment by ChrisP on January 24, 2013 6:20 pm
    Vmax,
    use a CB-Cap. Very quiet, frangible, and no ricochet…
    =======
    I bought a box of Aguila Colibris. Like a CB cab, but silent out of a rifle. I think they just use the priming compound to power the bullet, no powder.

  295. Hey wiser, now that you have an iPhone, there is an app that can listen to a scrap of music and identify it for you if you want to know what it is. Wife uses it, it’s called Soundhound.

    Will it work on cover songs?

  296. Shoot, we haven’t fully integrated women at NASA. I imagine infantrymen are like the machine shop guys.

  297. Will it work on cover songs?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUZLZboXJvw

    FYNQ

  298. Hi BiW! I was right. :D

  299. Of course you were.

    You’re a rocket scientist, fer cryin’ out loud.

  300. Heh. I just *think* I’m a know-it-all.

  301. Pepe
    Midway Natchez and Lucky Gunner are all out. Midway says Feb

  302. Happy birthday, Vmax! and Michael.

  303. Thanks Romy
    I received my 1st ever birthday text! From someone I do not know but whatever.

  304. Roamy, good luck with the bifocals. Be careful on stairs until you get used to them.

  305. Bill Cosby does a cute bit on bifocals.

  306. Well happy birthday to sweet VMan!!!

  307. Roamy – Woman are not really integrated in the military. When you gender norm physical requirements and set promotion “goals” (quotas), men tend to resent it.

  308. ^^^I’m especially impressed with the voiceover you did on that video, Scott.

  309. Vman is having a birthday?! Where is the Par-TAY??

  310. The printing presses must need some lube by now.

    The Fed’s holdings of U.S. government debt have increased by 257 percent since President Barack Obama was first inaugurated on Jan. 20, 2009, and the Fed is currently the single largest holder of U.S. government debt.

    http://bit.ly/10PK8lU

  311. “The printing presses must need some lube by now.”

    Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shit-load of dimes!

  312. Only 22 at Walmart today was 22 Short, limit 3 boxes.

    Anyone shoot 22 Short? If so, out of what?

  313. That’s what we use in our varmint gun. Anything louder would bring the police.

  314. xbrad?

    http://bit.ly/10PN3ex

  315. Is it a bolt action? Does it cycle in an automatic? I really don’t know much about the round. We used it at Boy Scout camp in the 70’s and the rifles were single shot bolt actions. Penny a bullet and we could shoot for hours for a couple of bucks.

  316. MCPO, I figured as much. If you can’t hump an 85-lb pack, you have no business being on the frontline and being a liability. Stupid social engineering.

  317. Jimbro
    My Grandfather arrived in this country in 1920. He purchased a Stephens Model 70 Visible Loading Carbine out of the Sears catalog for $20
    It shoots anything. CB, S, L LR crimped shot blanks you name it

    http://www.gunbroker.com/Auction/ViewItem.aspx?Item=326220831

  318. Romy, it’s ok.

    She can always get pregnant before deployment, and that way, they don’t even have the expectation that she’ll be holding up her end.

  319. All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly which can–and must–be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a “perfect society” on any foundation other than “Women and children first!” is no only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly–and no doubt will keep on trying.

    –“Notebooks of Lazarus Long,” R. Heinlein

  320. I’m getting a new gun just for me. Dan has started shopping for it. Kill me now!

  321. ,,,, I forgot a few of those

  322. Pump action Remington Fieldmaster.

  323. George – Stealing that quote for FB, with your permission. . .

  324. I totally bought the original post until I saw the fat Carmen Miranda. No way someone outs themselves with that pic. No WAY!

  325. Thanks!

  326. >>>No way someone outs themselves with that pic. No WAY!<<<

    Up With People: Platinum Member Edition

    Jus' sayin'

  327. Wow. I got a deal on that rifle. I found it in the used rack at Cabella’s for less than $400. New it’s $575, and it came with a $225 scope.

  328. Nice Rifle Scott

  329. Very cool, Scott.

  330. When I was a youngster, we had to make our .22s out of car antennas, clothespins and a rubber band.

  331. Banana pancakes were highly edible.

  332. We lost all of our guns in a far reaching Iowa crop dusting incident last year. Russ mentioned it on FB. Very sad. Very.

  333. we had to make our .22s out of car antennas, clothespins and a rubber band.

    I think that’s Panetta’s plan for rearming the military after sequestration.

  334. that’s horrible oso.

  335. Did anybody get exasperated because they had to explain what they thought was a rather obvious joke to anybody else today?

  336. I know. My inlaws asked how many “Legal” guns we had. I said “All of them”. I was rushed out of there.

  337. Did anybody get exasperated because they had to explain what they thought was a rather obvious joke to anybody else today?

    No, but I’m rather exasperated at the nephew who unfriended Mr. RFH for the comment, “please give me two examples where Obama has compromised.”

  338. Well, he let Michelle be on top.

    Twice.

  339. Ga! (Stole that from Car in)

    Time to idle some vehicles and place the heater box under my van.

    It got down to 4 last night, tonight is supposed to be worse.

  340. When Pepe and I had sub-zero temps, no one cared!!! Almost 70 today.

  341. Well, he let Michelle be on top.
    Twice.

    Hence two daughters. I don’t think he can perform the other way around.

  342. Hit 79° here today.

  343. Oso – How many days of sub-zero did you have?

  344. I cared, Oso. I cared.

  345. Hence two daughters.

    SCIENCE!

  346. A picture of Obama’s head on a pregnant lady’d body would be sort of fitting.

  347. Pannetta and Dempsey want to open up combat arms in the services to women.

    How about we integrate the Academy football teams first, and see how that goes?

  348. Where has Aggie been? Does she hate us? Why?

  349. Leon, how was the texture of those nannercakes? Fluffy, or custardy?

  350. 1) arm the Muslim Brotherhood
    b) disarm Americans
    4) mess up the military
    5) take a vacation

    Best president ever!

  351. I’m simmering a beef broth overnight with some pieces of the smoked pork belly skins I saved from making bacon. Melting down the collagen in them is supposed to make the soup silky and thickerer. We shall see.

  352. Rusted Metal Jello

  353. Up North we call that lime.

  354. Leon, how was the texture of those nannercakes? Fluffy, or custardy?

    More like a custard, I guess, but firm like a fritter. I liked ‘em, but my bananas were a little too green. I have a feeling they’ll be better when the bananas are more ripe.

  355. Thick soup AKA “gravy”

  356. Thick soup with stuff in it is “stew” dave. It’s only gravy if you add starch and not much else.

  357. 3 or 4. Pepe had to round up cattle in it. It was the wind that was brutal. I H8 wind.

  358. Lauraw, my mom gave me chicharrones info. Not very coherent. You don’t have a cell for me to text.

  359. Oso, why does this chicharrones info need to be texted to a cell?

    I just…jeez that’s funny.

    I’m sorry, I cannot accept your recipe, you do not have a weather balloon.

  360. chicharrones??

    Is that Messican for Obamafo!?

  361. It is long and incoherent. I’m not comfortable initiating phone calls.

  362. “In debate at Oregon State University. Questions from the student body regarding Universal Health Care / ObamaCare. The answers were quite well presented and the student body seemed to agree.”

    youtube.com/watch?v=rEM4NKXK-iA

    This was pretty special…

  363. I coulda sworn I just heard someone playing bagpipes in the distance.

  364. Lauraw, email?

  365. I saw Rusted Metal Jello open for Tupelo Chain Sex in 1985 at the Tulsa Amphitheater.

  366. laurawtips

    AT

    hotmail

  367. As fun as this poat has been it’s getting a little long in the tooth.

    Anybody have a flaming itchy desire to add some substantive content or should I just throw something up?

  368. lauraw, I sent you something, foolish girl…
    Did you watch the link I posted?

  369. Do any of the new people want to put up some posts? Iffin’ you’re interested, shoot me or one of us and email letting us know.

  370. Cyn,
    Are you f’n nutz?
    The “NEW” people? Are you going to give the keys to ‘Just anyone’?
    WTF, O?
    That’s a paddlin’…

  371. Just curious,
    Did ANYONE chase that youtube link I put up?
    It really was quite good.

  372. I’d put together a poat, but I’m about to leave in the next three or so minutes.

  373. I could poast something about embalming fluid and the scent of English loam, but it’s pretty dull stuff.

  374. Oh heck no, Chrisp! Just seeing if anyone is interested.

    They all still have to go thru the Inner Circle Star Chamber Review Powow, but if the n00bs don’t know they can ‘ask’ then they don’t know, right?!

  375. I’m due for a paddlin’ anyways. ;)

  376. Sorry if I wasn’t clear on that, BTW.

  377. Um, yeah, that sounds, um, interesting George. Very interesting.

  378. Maybe you could repost the Rosetta repost, explaining that the joke wasn’t really a joke or a joke-joke but a (joke-joke)/joke.

  379. (joke-joke)/joke

    No math!!!

  380. What if my embalming fluid/Limey topsoil essay includes pictures of assault kittens?

  381. Hmmm the assault kittens has some potential, but I have to say Nay to anything related to fluids. I don’t make up the rules, I just follow them.

  382. I gave ChrisP the keys a long time ago.
    I forget if it is Pepe of George that uses a fake email address.

  383. Post some tittehs.

  384. those are tomorrow’s feast

  385. Presumably.

  386. Oh right. I should get to work on that.

  387. I can throw up some butts, but not any witty commentary.

  388. This commenting pace keeps up, we won’t need another post until the bewbs are hoisted.

  389. I was weighing putting one up to have Wiser push it down with a Journey or REO Speed wagon poll.
    Or MJ’s Bewbs in a few hours.

    Here is to boobs!

  390. Vmax,
    I have no keys, can not see the dashboard, can not post. Can only comment, but not edit. That’s okay, as I have nothing to contribute…

  391. Thursday should be about music. Earworms. Cover songs. I’m too lazy and formerly blonde to actually post something. With banjos. Or steel guitars. Pat Green. George.

  392. New Poat

  393. REO all the way!!

  394. Check your email ChrisP I did this years ago. Years I say


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