Hosefucking Tuesday

MCPO at the beach:

beach

Happy Birthday, Michael!

michael

Having failed miserably at basketball, MJ tries out for the soccer team:

mjsoccer

Rosetta has a new hobby:

vac4

457 Comments

  1. I’m not wakey wakeying again.

    Just saying

  2. Great freakshow you have going on there Jewstin!

    Car in, here’s a mantra for you to carry with you as you deal with lazy co workers and imbecilic customers:

    http://tinyurl.com/a8hj7ew

  3. There’s a limit to how much wakey wakey the market will support.

    Car in realizes when the market is saturated. Obama would just mandate more wakey wakey and fuck you you racist sack of shit for objecting.

    Also, Rick James.

  4. Carin has heaps of wakey wakey. She needs to give her fair shair.

  5. Jimbro, the fairness mentality has creeped into the restaurant business. My busser gets tipped, by me, based on a % of my sales. Doesn’t matter if he doesn’t do shit.

    So, the end result is that I bus most of my tables, because it improves MY tip, etc, and he still gets paid.

    Someone add this little lesson to that thesis.

  6. “Car in, here’s a mantra for you to carry with you”

    It’s called cocaine Jimbro.

  7. If Hayek was still around he could do an entire book on restaurant economics.

  8. Car in, here’s a mantra for you to carry with you”

    It’s called cocaine Jimbro.

    Unfortunately, the drug of choice for most of my coworkers – especially the bussers – is pot.

    Lemme tell you how AWESOME a stoned busser is …

  9. Car in, is your blog down? I get server not found.

  10. I still see it.

  11. Sprinkle some meth in their dime bags. That should light a fire under them.

  12. Pot? They are doing it wrong.

  13. “Unfortunately, the drug of choice for most of my coworkers – especially the bussers – is pot.”

    Back in my day it was amphetamines….tells you the whole story right there

  14. <i<Car in, is your blog down? I get server not found.

    Given Car in’s new career path, there’s a double entendre in there somewhere.

  15. I bussed tables sober, but my high school girlfriend was a sabbath-observant SDA, so I got guilt every time I had a shift worth working.

  16. We would sometimes tip the barback more than required, pushing them to do a good job. No good work = minimum wage. Good work = higher than 20% plus one of the girls would flirt with him.

  17. Also, I could call in to Wiser’s show if he needs to fill airtime. I can render an ill-informed and wrong-headed opinion ad nauseum.

  18. Your skills in that area have been amply demonstrated, leon. :-)

  19. But your eye for the fit feminine form is unquestioned.

  20. Thanks, AD. I take both statements as high praise.

  21. It would be hard to be on live anything. The pressure to be funny or interesting would be pretty big.

    I used to do a lot of speechifyin’ but that was pretty easy.

  22. Oh great, MJ is trying to give me stage fright.

  23. Drive time. Time to go to live engineering ‘n’ shiznit.

  24. We would sometimes tip the barback more than required, pushing them to do a good job. No good work = minimum wage. Good work = higher than 20% plus one of the girls would flirt with him.

    When I’ve bartended, we did similar, but usually there is a barback, and that’s his entire job. So he knew where every penny came from.

    Server tips get pulled together and given in one lump sum.

    The only possible clue he could have is if he knew who sold more/who sold less.

    If I give extra money, it’s not as if he would know. Since it’s just put in an envelope.

  25. The Global warming is really bad up here today.

    Is Gore in Michigan? Cripes. They cancelled school.

  26. Morning, cool kids.

  27. Cold kids.

  28. It’s supposed to be 50ish here today.

  29. Freezing kids.

  30. It was a very, VERY cold thing that swept thru and headed your way.

    We will probably hit 80º today, a new high. I think records were broken for the colds too. TheGoracle.

  31. I succeeded in avoiding most of the Immaculation 2.0 yesterday. Dad and I watched most of “The Magnificent Seven”.

  32. 60 today or therebouts… 70 tomorrow.

  33. #OccupyPants

    Work time. Somebody change Xbrad’s drool bib while I’m gone.

  34. It is mild here and something ate my tomatoes. I am gonna sit on my porch with my gun and kill that sombitch.

  35. Somebody change Xbrad’s drool bib while I’m gone.

    **checks calendar to see whose turn it is

    **wonders how much wine/chocolate/nekkid pics of Henry Cavill it’ll take to get out of it.

  36. fucking tomato buzzards!

  37. 0F here on my way in. Ice Age has started. I blame the CAGW crowd.

  38. Still got a minus sign in front of the temperature here.

    Anyone got a recipe for hot cocoa, and some outdoor walking gear?

  39. I think we may be seeing another shift in the pursuit of carbon taxes. Instead of Global Warming™ or Climate Change™, which were pretty ineffective, I think we’re going to see Extreme Weather™.

    The stat that gets confused is that the storms are bigger than EVER!!!! But that simply means the cost is higher because more people live in bigger houses on the shore than ever before.

    The mix of the BIGGEST STORM EVER with (actually it costs more to clean up due to insurance regulation, etc etc etc) will fool a ton of people.

  40. because people are fools.

  41. I could tell you guys a story from work, but I think it would depress you too much.

  42. Can’t do much worse, since it’s day 2 of Obama’s 2nd term.

  43. I’m pretty sure the new trend in naming Winter storms is intended to lay that same groundwork, MJ.

  44. We had this really good waitress who refused to tip-out the bus girl because she said she was a lazy sack of shit. She told HotBride “If you think she’s so great, you tip her.”

    Hahahahaha

    I admired that.

  45. The hostesses (pretty but stupid) – well, I started lecturing -as is my wont, about politics and inauguration. The one stated that she was happy Obama won, but she’s not into politics.

    At which point I informed her that perhaps she shouldn’t vote, since this isn’t a team sport. She took that well, and then asked me what i thought of the conspiracy theories regarding the Newton shooting.

    I told her flat out it was STUPID, and that if she was interested in a “real” conspiracy theory, how about how come we havne’t heard from any of the survivors from the Bengazi ordeal.

    *blank look

    You know, when our ambassador was murdered?

    *blank look

    I esplained it all, but I think I’m going to have to repeat the lesson with her/them a few more times.

  46. We had this really good waitress who refused to tip-out the bus girl because she said she was a lazy sack of shit. She told HotBride “If you think she’s so great, you tip her.”

    I’ve considered keeping count of the # of tables I bus.

    The most they EVER do is take the few remaining glasses and silverware, because I *always* prebus. so they take a few things and wipe it.

    THey don’t even re-set the table. That’s my job.

    @@

  47. Ha. Michelle’s eyeroll is trending on facedouche. It made yahoo news or something. Most shared.

  48. But EVERYONE loves her, right?

    That’s’ why everyone’s posting that video. Because we all love her.

  49. That eyeroll reminds me of what teenage girls do. Seems about her speed.

  50. The eyeroll is less important to me than the shoveling into her maw.

  51. It’s been kinda bothering me that I have this visceral dislike of her. I mean, I really don’t know her that well, but when I see her I just get pissed off.

    I know JEF hasn’t done anything in his life other than apply for affirmative action, but she’s done even less. I don’t take her seriously, and I sure as hell have no respect for her position as first moocher.

  52. It surprised me that Barry was the diplomatic one. Usually it’s the ladies that are more polite and diplomatic.

    Well, except for Car in and my wife.

  53. She’s a lawyer, but has she ever practiced law?

  54. I’m not a sawyer, but I suspect I’ve sawed more than she’s lawed.

  55. I have an interview with a company in the UVI today. It was formed by a guy on the board of Freedomworks. Not sure how I feel about it.

  56. In any event, I hope the interview goes well, MJ. My wife has an interview in Ann Arbor tomorrow and she’s already horribly stressed.

  57. Thanks Leon. I don’t think its going to work out, but my current job is unbelievably disappointing. I’ve been here 11 years, and that’s probably enough.

  58. I’d try to tempt you into coming up here, but
    1) Our only opening is for a Line of Business Director
    2) You’re my friend, and I’d feel awful doing that to you

  59. >> It’s been kinda bothering me that I have this visceral dislike of her. I mean, I really don’t know her that well, but when I see her I just get pissed off.

    Self-awareness is a good thing. Why should you let her rent space in your head, if it just pisses you off?

  60. Benghazi didn’t happen according to many Americans, Car in, because there’s no MSM exploitable footage. (Nothing to their advantage, I mean.)

  61. Good luck, MJ!

    And hi alice! Long time no see!

  62. The caption for that video, should be simply: Pass the Drawn Butter.

  63. Killied, motherforker.

  64. Way to go, MJ. Kilt it Dayed.

  65. Fingers crossed for your interview, MJ. Have you decided what you’re going to wear yet? http://is.gd/7IEl66

  66. Meh. I’ll probably wear a leather shirt too. Don’t want to be too casual.

    Thanks guys but I really don’t think its for me.

  67. What’s the buzz? Tell me what’s happening.

  68. Hmmm, not sure I like this color on you: http://is.gd/zEK0Fx

  69. HAHA! All the best hideous pictures link back to H2.

    I love this place!

  70. Is the job here MJ or are you going to relocate ti the USVI?
    Do you get island crazy? It is real.

  71. to
    fat fingers

  72. What’s the buzz?

    You want the A/C or D/C version?

  73. What is ‘island crazy,’ MCPO?

  74. LauraW – It’s like cabin fever with palm trees.

  75. I imagine it’s the claustrophobic sense of being unable to leave an island without some sort of mass transit.

  76. We get ‘sunshine crazy’ here. There’s practically people dancing in the streets when we get cloud cover and/or rain.

  77. I love it when there are competing currents in the windblown snow outside the window. It slows down suddenly, and just moves around very slowly in midair for a few moments before the wind whips it up again.

    Very sparkly in sunlight.

  78. I like how it makes the southern H2ers shiver when they read it on their computers.

  79. Wow, I never heard of such a thing, Cyn. Do people all run out to do their errands just to be out in the ‘nice weather?’

  80. I cleaned my office, and put down the new rug that has been rolled up in the corner for eight months.

    http://tinyurl.com/ascs8wl

  81. Relocation is necessary for tax reasons. I guess the guy is a huge libertarian and gets a tax break for housing part of his company under a different name, in the USVI.

    Fourth guy on the list owns the company.

    http://www.freedomworks.org/about/board-of-directors

  82. Windchill is currently -3F here.

  83. It was -3º when I awoke this morning. The birds were all huddled around HotBride’s heated birdbath.

  84. Yes, they do, Laura; especially if we get a good temperature drop when a storm front comes in. I’m not sure why, but the gas stations fill up like crazy.

  85. Love that rug, ‘Spur!

  86. Whoa. Negative anything reminds me of the movie Fargo.

    Norm, the prowler needs a jump.

  87. Good morning.

    Mj, IF you got the job, would you still be in Tampa?

  88. Hotspur has the best location in AA. . . right next to a pub!

  89. For me it is not the size of the island it is the availability of options.One restaurant one bar get old real quick.Honolulu and Key West are fine for me Hilo and Big Pine drive me crazy

  90. I would have pictured Hotspur with a more traditional style.

  91. Today’s pic winner is…. wait, WTH, what day is it?

  92. actually that Kim Jong Un picture is pretty funny.

  93. Mj, IF you got the job, would you still be in Tampa?
    —————–
    No. I have to be on the island for a minimum of 6 months. The other 6 months I travel to their stateside locations.

    Not sure Mrs MJ is up to it, but then again I’m not sure living together is a prerequisite for our marriage. She might welcome a break from me.

  94. That doesn’t sound good.

  95. I’d take the smokin’ Mrs. MJ off your hands for a bit. Ya know, as a favor, of course.

  96. OMG! It is FREAKING CO-OLD!!

  97. Awesome story on MOH awardee Desmond Doss. Thanks Dave.

  98. Dave, BRINGS IT!

  99. Yeah, golf is out.

  100. MJ, I don’t know what Mrs. MJ does (think it’s in the fashion industry?) but can she follow you? Stay together.

  101. Well, this took the edge off (much like meth):

    http://tinyurl.com/ankuf63

  102. “Also, Rick James.”

    HA! Good one, PD.

  103. Popcorn is a helluva drug.

  104. This made me cry like a baby (much like Boehner):

    http://tinyurl.com/bjq9kh5

  105. HA! George!

  106. I have tears streaming I laughed so hard at that, Mare. I ~LOVED~ it when the boys would laugh like that. Whoo boy: that was almost better than meth!

  107. Byron York in HQ’s sidebar, proving this nation is finished given our electorate. We’re past the tipping point. Every man for himself now. This crappy economy is good enough for a majority. At least it’s more fair.

    http://m.washingtonexaminer.com/byron-york-in-inaugural-speech-obama-gives-nations-top-issue-short-shrift/article/2519310#.UP7LFu-9LCQ

  108. I know Cyn….almost.

    Check out that other video. Get kleenex.

  109. I’ve been thinking about giving up heroin but, I don’t know, with Obama for another 4 years and the media giving him blow jobs on a regular basis, I don’t think it’s a good idea.

  110. I just went to the store.

    Mother bastard, it’s warmed up to 7º.

  111. You can do it, Mare. I’ve given up heroin but substituting chronic masturbation.

  112. Good day, longtime listeners and first-time callers.

  113. It felt 7 times warmer than this morning when I came back from the gym. At this rate, the planet will be on fire in a few days.

  114. You’re gonna need one of those lifts to demonstrate that chart, leon.

  115. In the process of breaking many of my addictions, I have to admit it’s a little frustrating to have almost no way left to achieve an altered state.

  116. More Americans get a check from the government than don’t.

    We are doomed.

  117. “…but substituting chronic masturbation.”

    Er, ah, I’d rather just have the heroin.

  118. I have every expectation that the way entitlements will ultimately be “fixed” is hefty inflation that the benefits aren’t indexed against. If inflation multiplies the “GDP” by 5, but the outlays stay the same in nominal dollar values, everything’s fine and no promises were broken.

  119. Heroin chafes less.

  120. Entitlements is just part of it.
    16% of the people that work, work for the government.

  121. I’m curious about Rosetta’s new hobby in the header. Is he aiming to cover the lips or enlarge the hole?

    Mildly curious. I mean, I doubt I could handle much detail.

  122. This is kind of interesting:

    http://youtu.be/ZLpneP5sZMc

    WARNING: Racist lefty asshole engaging in Blue on Blue.

  123. Scott, the same thing works if their salaries don’t budge.

    Yeah, I know, but if an executive order can permit SEIU organizing of federal employees, it only takes another one to demolish it.

  124. I love Kernel West. He’s says things that only a black dude that identifies as 100% black and nothing else could say.

    When Obama puts his precious hand…

    Who the fuck says precious hand without getting bitch slapped?

    Colonel Mustard, that’s who.

  125. When Obama puts his precious hand on Michelle’s ginormous rump, she slaps the shit out of him and knees him in the vagina.

  126. MJ, I don’t know what Mrs. MJ does (think it’s in the fashion industry?) but can she follow you? Stay together.
    —————————
    She wouldn’t work if we move. I’m trying to think differently about the situation because I find it very weird. I doubt we would ever live apart, but in our first few years together I was gone at least 3 weeks of the month so its not like it would be new. Weekends would be tough.

    Not having to work would be awesome, so if I can figure that out for her I’d be happy.

    If there are any lawyers here, I’d like to have a contract drawn up that states something like this:

    Mrs MJ agrees to give Mr MJ at least one BJ or HJ a day because he kicks ass and figured out a way that she can be a layabout, which is everything he’s always wanted.

  127. How the hell would you enforce it?

  128. Her allowance would be escrowed and disbursal dependent upon a nod from MJ.

  129. She’d just knee him in the nads and write herself a check.

  130. http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/news/world/americas/article3664997.ece

    Can’t even get a real rendition of the National Anthem.

  131. I don’t know any lawyers, MJ, but I could put you in touch with this goat-legged fellow…

  132. Can’t even get a real rendition of the National Anthem.

    An Ashlee Simpson moment would have been priceless. In the meantime, there’s this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AID07xdiiEU

  133. How the hell would you enforce it?
    ————————
    Mom!!! Hotspur wants to watch me get BJs!!!!

  134. Control V
    ———————-
    Thanks Sean, but I’m already well acquainted with that guy. He always asks for my soul, but I *ahem* have lent it out a few times.

  135. Can’t even get a real rendition of the National Anthem.

    The Obama Administration in a nutshell.

  136. You lent your soul to Pan? Bad idea, dude. He’s hard enough on rental cars that he has to have one of his girls rent them for him.

  137. Control V

    Heh.

  138. alt f4

  139. “Mrs MJ agrees to give Mr MJ at least one BJ or HJ a day because he kicks ass and figured out a way that she can be a layabout, which is everything he’s always wanted.”

    Contact my husband, I’m a layabout, he nicely set it up that way.
    867-5309.

  140. It’s cold outside. Also, Obama ate a dog.

  141. 867-5309.

    We’re gonna need an area code.

  142. Hrm, does alt-f2 do anything on your useless fucking windows machines? I have some ideas, but I actually don’t care anyway.

  143. Sunshine, day dreams. . .

  144. “How to Make Your Husband Happy” by Faye Korgasem

  145. Jenny Mare, I got your number. . .

  146. MJ”s so cute when he engages in Fantasy World thinking.

  147. Eric!
    You’re gonna be on the BBC!
    You’ll be famous!
    http://tinyurl.com/ay5adhj

    Chief,
    Did you just try to call here?
    I hung-up on a call from the 717 area-code…

  148. ChrisPy – Not me.

  149. MJ, dontcha know that if Mrs. MJ is with you in the VI, you’re gonna want her spending as much time as possible working on her tan? Imagine coming home from work and your lovely Missus meets you at the door in a fabulous bikini with some tropical cocktail.

    Now, which would you rather have? A wife in a business suit or a wife in an easily-removable piece of swimwear? :P

  150. Whenever I see TFG on the TV, I have to resist the urge to destroy the large $$ investment.

  151. Not too many people wanted me to bring them food today.

    So I’m home early.

  152. Whenever I see TFG on the TV, I have to resist the urge to destroy the large $$ investment.

    Get out of my head, Chief.

  153. ““How to Make Your Husband Happy” by Faye Korgasem”

    hahahaha

    Faye Korgasem is a bitch, I don’t like her and don’t support her writings.

  154. Just for MARE. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg_YueZ4fi8

  155. Yeah, Faye just strikes me as less than genuine, and cynically exploiting her audience to boot.

  156. I don’t know… Faye does seem to have a sort of thoughtful and considerate side to her.

  157. The feminists hate Faye.
    And wonder why she didn’t make her title more gender-neutral and inclusive of all lifestyle partnerships, rather than just the icky heteronormative ones.

  158. “Catholic School Girls” by Sister Mae B. Ahore

  159. I’d sooner have a Rue Dunne than Faye, I guess. I can’t learn anything from Faye, or correct my technique.

  160. “Catholic School Girls” by Sister Mae B. Ahore

    *makes addition to Amazon Wish List*

  161. Just got an e-mail from Rebecca’s teacher, wondering if I was aware that Mr. TiFW had signed us up to bring snacks for the class this week.

    Um…..no……

    Oops.

  162. Teresa, three words: Salty Nut Ballz.

  163. Nut.Allergies.

    (Not Rebecca, but a couple of the other kids)

  164. I prefer the writings of Duanne I Twright.

  165. Tree nuts? Those are really uncommon. Most “nut” allergies are legume allergies (peanuts).

  166. We’re just gonna trade with another family – hopefully the teacher will let me know in advance which week we’re responsible for :P

  167. Oh, Mare, I agree, I was just trying to give you a sense of where I rank them.

  168. Now, which would you rather have? A wife in a business suit or a wife in an easily-removable piece of swimwear?

    Get the hooker’s velcro based business suit, and problem solved.

  169. Leon, where is your recipe for Nut Balls? (SYWM) Couldn’t find it on your blog.

  170. I suppose you could make them some pemmican, but that takes some lead time.

  171. My husband subscribes to this newsletter:

    I’m going to make my wife happy whether she cares or not.

    So I’ve got that going for me.

  172. It’s on the Hostage recipe blawg. http://hostagerecipes.wordpress.com/2012/12/23/leons-salty-ballz/

    You may find that 1.5# of nuts is adequate. I’ve done it with 2#, but if your nuts aren’t oily enough, that may be too dry. Oily nuts make a huge difference.

  173. *leaves that choice set of phrases laying there, as bait*

  174. Oily nuts make a huge difference.

    You wouldn’t like them being too dry and flaky on the outside.

  175. *gets giant fish hook wedged in mouth*

  176. “Oily Nuts” by Sal Ammi

  177. *thinks about classic SNL ‘Schwetty Balls’ skit, giggles*

  178. Oily nuts make a huge difference.

    And a need to change your sheets more often….

  179. The best part? That recipe is adapted from a bar recipe.

    I chose to make them into balls.

  180. Salty Nut Bar sounds like something Greg and Bill would discuss on RedEye.

  181. Is there anything the green movement gets right?

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/dreamliner-fires-spark-new-doubts-about-a-green-energy-technology/article/2519353#.UP7S3jXCz8C

    We have cheap, abundant and great systems to disperse energy, why make crap to stroke Gore’s ego?

  182. How many balls can you fit into your mouth at one time, Leon?

  183. “The Navy Blue Dress” by Seaman Staynes

  184. hahahaha

  185. Depends on how big my hands make them, Car in.

  186. How’s my day, you ask?

    http://tinyurl.com/cetfbgw

  187. MJ”s so cute when he engages in Fantasy World thinking.
    ————————–
    Bitch please. I’m always cute.

  188. Get the hooker’s velcro based business suit, and problem solved.
    —————————
    Good doggeh.

  189. How’s my day, you ask?

    TurtleFacePlant should be a new poat category.

  190. “TurtleFacePlant should be a new poat category.”

    You dicks are funny today.

  191. Mare.

    http://tinyurl.com/c4r8fdz

  192. Leon, would you please use xbrad’s face as your kettle ball today?

    Thank you in advance.

  193. You want me to grab him by the horns and swing him between my thighs?

    Pass.

  194. Wow, he might have been an even better President than I thought.

    http://tinyurl.com/bghqrzx

  195. Well, it was kind of going to be exercising and tea bagging at the same time.

  196. I saw it as a win/win.

  197. MARE!

    http://tinyurl.com/a5rdlbk

  198. Wow, he might have been an even better President than I thought.
    http://tinyurl.com/bghqrzx

    wow is right

  199. I think Mitt would have been very good at the job, possibly among the best qualified to hold the office in some time. I had the same sense about Perry, and even T-Paw. We’ll never know.

  200. Dramatic puppy is worthy of a good scratching behind the ears and his tummy.

  201. I don’t know how I actually “feel” about this horrid direction this President is taking us but I “think” it’s our whole countries shame that we didn’t do better for ourselves as far as leadership goes.

  202. Where’s that whore Mare?

    http://tinyurl.com/ccdba8s

  203. I can’t decide if I should make a Mare joke or save this for a Totally Tushy post…

    http://tinyurl.com/agwayhl

  204. I saw TurtleFacePlant open for Slipknot back in ’99.

  205. I have a bootleg cassette of that concert somewhere. They great back before they got big and went commercial.

  206. Xbrad, that cat in the horsey picture looks just like mine.

  207. New Lindsey video: http://youtu.be/qDsfou6UfjU

  208. Michelle’s new hair was inspired by

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSRvpv5weaI

  209. Kinda liked the old hair

    http://tinyurl.com/azstqry

  210. Where you headed, Mare?

    http://tinyurl.com/ayucggm

  211. Afternoon.

  212. Things are bad! The only shotguns in stock around here are 410 or single shot 20 gauge!

  213. I saw TurtleFacePlant open for Slipknot back in ’99. . .
    I have a bootleg cassette of that concert somewhere. They great back before they got big and went commercial.

    Wrong again, Senor Leon. TurtleFacePlant died when they did a cover version of “Twilight Zone” by Golden Earring (which was actually better than the original).

  214. I had no idea the Ramones covered “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?”

  215. It is a little known fact that David Bowie covered “Nowhere Man” in 1982, but only in concert, he swears to this day it’s not true, and he paid over $500K for three bootleg tapes.

  216. Look, I know you want to make Wiser happy and pay fealty to his cute little theory, but I think we both know that selling the rights to their biggest single (“Fuark I Love Sand in my Nose”) for that YooHoo advert was the beginning of the end.

    I heard muzak of that in Target the other day. A little piece of me died.

  217. Leon, it is 1,800 steps for my “block”. That has to be more than 15 calories burned. Plus the equivalent of 4 flights of stairs to walk up the driveway.

    **too tired now to eat pie

  218. **but not too tired to argue, because I am, after all, a woman.

  219. Chief, I stopped by Walmart today and they had a few boxes of some less common rifle calibers like 7 mm, .243, etc and mainstream calibers like 30-06. The only 22LR was shot shells. They did have 410 shotgun ammo which I bought and will store for the youngest boy for eventual use in his single shot shotgun.

  220. **too tired now to eat pie
    **but not too tired to argue, because I am, after all, a woman.

    The state of knowing one’s limitations and abilities is admirable.

    I was mostly making the point that human locomotion (particularly walking) is very efficient — burning very few calories for the time invested — whereas pie is enormously calorie-dense. It’s almost always easier to just skip the pie.

  221. I’ve got a cover tune I’m digging. It’s a couple years old.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d23e_2vSS_8

  222. Why would you seriously handicap a young shooter by giving him a fucking .410?

  223. The only good .410 is that giant revolver Taurus makes.

  224. Carin – I actually lasted 45 seconds into that crapfest! *awaits medal for valor*

  225. Carin? Crapfest?

    No wai!

  226. Philistines.

  227. I’ve been trying to get at least 5,000 steps a day. Yesterday was a bust with 5+ hours of driving.

  228. Not my purchase….his dad got him the gun years ago and it ended up in my safe 2 years ago following his suicide. So I’m holding that as part of his legacy. I’ve got my eye on a single shot 22LR for him to learn on. He’s 9 now and still likes to “play army”. I’m waiting till he outgrows that phase before we head to the range.

  229. I can’t decide which I like more, the hang glider or the FacePlantTurtle.

  230. Shit, I’m getting old.

    New Order is cool again.

  231. Don’t even start MJ.

  232. Jimbro – not to be noisy – but you have a (step) son who’s dad committed suicide?

  233. Jimbro, at a minimum give him a 20ga (12ga would be better) so he can hit something and be inspired to keep shooting. He’ll brag to his buddies about the kick. Tell him the .410 is for when he’s older and a better shot.

  234. pie is enormously calorie-dense. It’s almost always easier to just skip the pie.

    Or shoot yourself in the head. Same thing.

  235. I was mostly making the point that human locomotion (particularly walking) is very efficient — burning very few calories for the time invested — whereas pie is enormously calorie-dense. It’s almost always easier to just skip the pie.

    Bikes are also amazingly efficient too.

    You have to really concentrate on those things to get your heart rate up high enough to do some work.

  236. We may experience some cross winds today. . .

    http://tinyurl.com/a8lnzcf

  237. We’re arguing the benefits of wearing a hat in the cold, here at the ghetto bar. It appears some people are really stupid.

  238. The weather, Chief, has been a challenge lately…

    http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2013/01/22/pontiac-silverdome-damaged-by-strong-winds/

  239. Hotspur – is there anyone worth debating with at the ghetto bar?

  240. MCPO, where is that?

  241. I’m at the airport in the gate waiting area and there is a woman next to me who is very
    strange looking she just stood up and is wearing a FULL LENGTH cape.
    She made kind of a dramatic stance and is evidently unaware she has
    White crap dripped down the front of it . My fear?She’s sitting next to me.

  242. Yeah, Carin, you should come out here and get to know these fine people. You’d fit right on.

  243. I have a POSSLQ who I plan to marry after she finishes Nursing School. My salary would erase any grants or low interest loans she’d get. She has two boys, one is her “love child” born when she was 18, his dad is a decent guy who lives about a mile away and we socialize with. The younger boy was from a planned pregnancy. He was a decent guy who got hooked on opiates and began the familiar downward spiral. So, I have no known biological kids of my own, just a woman and 2 kids who put up with my eccentricities.

  244. Where you going, Mare?

  245. He, meaning his father!

  246. Roamy – Looks like Lajes in the Azores.

    Oh, and WANT! http://tinyurl.com/ag92tqn

  247. Yeah, Carin, you should come out here and get to know these fine people. You’d fit right on.

    Why am I not taking this as a compliment?

  248. iral. So, I have no known biological kids of my own, just a woman and 2 kids who put up with my eccentricities.

    that’s awesome.

    I’m(sorta) glad to hear that the suicide was drug related, and not some biologically-inspired issue.

    So no worries!

  249. Tvisiring my sweet Mom, Hotspur.

  250. You totally should.

  251. But where?

  252. So, legit question here; Are humans the only species where a male will regularly nurture the offspring of other men? I’m thinking that be be true.

  253. Can’t eat ‘em, guess I’ll try to raise ‘em right!

  254. Oh, and WANT! http://tinyurl.com/ag92tqn

    I know, right? That thing is kewl.

  255. Oh, and WANT! http://tinyurl.com/ag92tqn

    I think Car in’s restaurant uses that to make carrot sticks.

  256. That splitter is too perfect. I like a mix of sizes to use during different phases of my fire.

  257. My dad started me dove hunting on a .410

    You learn to pick your shots. And if you can hit em, you’re pretty good.

    Later we got lazy and used a Remington .20

  258. Where’s Cyn?

    http://tinyurl.com/bxo74fe

  259. I always think of Charles Osgood with POSSLQ.

  260. I never heard that term till my lefty friend from med school asked if me and my POSSLQ were coming down to visit. I had to search it out to figure it.

    I’m on call so heading to bed early to bank some sleep. Night peoples!

  261. Night, Jimbro.

  262. Mostly true MCPO, but I am sure there must be exceptions.

    I can think of different species examples, like the Cuckoo bird laying eggs in other birds nests, and Baboons stealing and raising puppies.

  263. My mom collected all sorts of books, including Charles Osgood, Art Buchwald, Bill Cosby, Erma Bombeck, and Lewis Grizzard. They are in boxes in my basement until I figure out whether I want to keep them or sell them.

  264. The house suddenly got cold and I couldn’t figure out why. Then it hit me. I threw a load of laundry in the dryer. Apparently, all that air that gets pumped outside gets replaced by 15 degree outside air.

  265. Hey George…thought you might enjoy this site: http://clientsfromhell.net

    Stoaty Weasel posted it.

  266. RFH, I have a signed copy of “Chili Dawgs Only Bark at Night”. Met him in Dallas in 1986 or so. Lewis was a treasure, and a tragic figure.

    But god damn, he was a funny sumbitch.

  267. Shouldn’t there be some Monday Night Football on?

  268. HELLO-o-o-o-o?

    ECHO
    Echo
    Echo
    Echo

  269. Echo

  270. I thought it might go smaller. But it didn’t. Stupid WerdPuss.

  271. *kisses Cyn on the cheek, runs away laughing like a maniac*

  272. *pours a glass of vodka and rummages thru Roamy’s purse*

  273. The US version of Top Gear is like a Beyonce national anthem.

  274. Um, Dave, watch out for that column you’re headed right for it…

  275. I’ve been meaning to watch that Top Gear show. It appears that I’ve missed nothing.

  276. Did anybody shoot anybody else in the neck with a tranquilizer dart today?

  277. Yes, but it wasn’t ~exactly~ a tranquilizer dart. Per se.

  278. Hi Cynabuns!

  279. Hey George…thought you might enjoy this site: http://clientsfromhell.net

    AWESOME.

  280. Hiya Vman!

  281. 14 degrees.

  282. Personally, I welcome our Kenyan, anti-colonialist overlords.

  283. Have we ever done worst jello flavors?

  284. Lewis Grizzard always struck me as a rather low-rent, redneck, male Kathy Acker.

  285. It snowed earlier. And Obama ate a dog

  286. Scott – About the same here. Wind still blowing up your way?

  287. Lemon Bear Dick Punch was always my favorite. Especially the kind with the Bear Dicks floating around in it.

  288. Smegma

  289. Nacho-flavored Jello

  290. *fuck that hurt*

    I don’t know who Kathy Acker is, but Grizzard was most definitely a redneck, and he was funny. Unlike “Git er Done” rednecks.

  291. Cherry Tobacco Jello

  292. Roamy-you got HHD tomorrow or might you need a hand?

  293. Hamburger Helper Jello

  294. Yep. Tomorrow morning is going to suck. I will be working outside for a couple hours.

  295. Felix Baumgartner Commemorative Jello

  296. I damn-near froze my face off just taking the trashcan out to the street!

  297. Kitty Litter Jello–now with more clumps!

  298. Rape Jello.

  299. Ipecac Jello

  300. Ok. So I gooooogel Kathy Acker, whom I’ve never heard of, and go to a page of her most famous quotes, and not a single one of them are mildly clever, cute, or humorous. I’m not seeing the connection between her and Lewis Grizzard, who was personal friends with A Great American. Maybe that’s the joke and I totally fucking missed it.

  301. Dr. Scholl’s Comfort-Sole Jello

  302. Felix Baumgartner Commemorative Jello

    Mmmmm I think I would actually try him that.

  303. Old Dirty Bastard Jello

  304. Lava Soap Jello

  305. Dave (con Tejas),

    I read a lot of Patrick F. McManus. & I hung out with lesbians.

    In my defense, my mother always had a few Grizzard tomes around the house. I would read them, but I don’t really remember them that well.

  306. Grampa’s Dirty Sock Water Jello

  307. Bandini Jello

  308. His stand up was the good stuff.

  309. Meth Breath Jello

  310. Cottage Cheese Jello

  311. High-Capacity Assault Jello

  312. Burning Hair Jello

  313. Band-Aid-Flavored Jello

  314. Steamed Kale Jello

  315. Burnt Umberwear Jello.

  316. Latex Bondage Jello

  317. Hooker Sweat Jello

  318. Earwax Jello

  319. Runny Nose Jello™

  320. Floyd’s Homemade Salty Jello Ballz

  321. Hidden Valley Ranch Jello

  322. Afterbirth Jello

  323. Rectal Prolapse Jello

  324. I’m holding my sides laughing at these!

  325. Lime Jello.

  326. Does This Look Infected? Jello

  327. Lime Jello.

    GAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

  328. Grassfed beef liver jello.

  329. President Barack Obama Single Tear Commemorative Jello, Campaign Edition

  330. Toe Jam Jello

  331. President Barack Obama Single Tear Commemorative Jello, Newtown Edition

  332. Wiserbud’s Singing Throat Jello

  333. Nina Hartley Jello

  334. Michello Jello.

  335. Pennzoil Ultra Full Synthetic Jello

  336. The Jello of Human Kindness

  337. Fumunda Jello

  338. Microwave Oat Jello Clusters

  339. Roseanne Barr Bicycle Seat Jello

  340. Minty Fixodent Jello

  341. Toenail and Carrot Shavings Jello (Lutheran Pot Luck Size)

  342. Scott eats Jello

    http://bit.ly/ViTmpn

  343. Jello Biafra

  344. Phone Call Jello

    Car is afraid of it.

  345. Lime Jello

    You crossed the line with that one!

  346. Garlic Onion Jello

  347. Prostate Exam Glove Jello

  348. Gay Jello

    http://bit.ly/ViTsNF

  349. Oyster Jello
    wait?

  350. Mello Yello Jello

  351. Tripe Jello

  352. K-Y Jello.

  353. Garlic Onion Jello

    Useful in cooking above Jello:
    http://bit.ly/ViTxRw

  354. Split Pea Soup Jello

  355. Love sponge Jello

    Mello Yello was good

  356. My Little Pony Jello

  357. Avocado Jello Turkey

    http://bit.ly/ViTFQR

  358. Sausage Jello

  359. Helen Thomas Jello.

  360. So nauseating even Rosetta wouldn’t eat it

    http://bit.ly/ViTLbf

  361. Baby Monkey-n-Pig Jello

  362. Texas Red Chile Jello

  363. Whale blubber Jello

  364. Jock Strap Jello

  365. Biden Smile Jello

    I don’t know what that means.

  366. Prolly not too safe for work

    But Jello is involved

    http://bit.ly/ViTRQn

  367. Helen Thomas Jello.

    …crying laughing!

  368. Thin Mint Jello

  369. J-Lo Jello.

  370. That Jello That Dare Not Speak Its Name

  371. Kerry Marie Back Fat Jello

  372. Jello Waffles

    http://bit.ly/ViU3Pt

  373. The Jello Mold of Amontillado

  374. You’re just trying to gross me out now.

    Corn Meal Jello with carrot shavings.

  375. Sorry to break into the Jello thread, but EOJ has just out-done himself at Aces:

    http://minx.cc/?blog=86&post=336792#c20037956

    I have to wash my eyes out with bleach…

  376. Lamisil Jello Pudding Pop

  377. Split pea soup jello soup poured into jello moulds & frozen into possicles.

  378. Sorry to break into the Jello thread, but EOJ has just out-done himself at Aces:

    Not enough Jello.

  379. Codfish Jello Enemas, now with Pop Rocks™

  380. Bacon Jello

    ???

  381. Two Girls One Cup Jello

  382. jello flavoured jello

  383. I’m gonna have nightmares now.

  384. http://tinyurl.com/b64whra

  385. Tobasco Jello

  386. Tabasco

  387. @Jay – yes it has been a long time – first I was busy being sick, then I was busy pushing over snowboarders.

    Tobasco shots, whatever the hell it was Andy ordered…

  388. Gluten Jello.

    Not to be confused with Gluteous Maximus Jello.

  389. Conch Jello

  390. Really? Two girls one cup?

    Damn.

    You people are sick. And by sick I mean bedtime.

  391. Nighty dreams, MJ

  392. Blobfish jello.

    That’s PJ’s favorite flavor.

  393. Tabasco

    Yes

  394. Aaaand it’s officially dead.

  395. Haitian Chlamydia Swirl Jello.

  396. Haitian Chlamydia Swirl Jello.

    That’s a palate cleanser after reading some of your Moo and Oink fan fic.

  397. I finish work and come here, and everyone has left already?

  398. We’re here, Tushar.

    We’re just scared of the brown guy.

  399. XBrad, all those who have met me will testify that I am quite harmless.
    Whether they will testify under duress or of their own free will, who knows?

  400. All I gotta say, is Boyd Crowder is one of the smartest bad guys ever.

  401. Anyway, goodnight XBrad, and anyone else who is up and about.

  402. No spoilers, J’ames. I don’t get to see it for 2 more hours.

  403. Night Tushar!

    You ole softie, you.

  404. I wouldn’t dream of it, xbrad. Ruining Justified is not cool. You brought us Nick, after all.

    However, you have to come up with something better for next week, or I’m live blogging it.

  405. Look, all I can tell you is, the next installment in Acting School will be e.p.i.c.

  406. SYI,
    I’M picking a fight at “The Belmont Club”.
    http://pjmedia.com/richardfernandez/2013/01/22/in-fraud-we-trust/#comment-234879

  407. Actually,
    That was “FYI” and I’m now “In the bag”, and making dinner and heading to bed.
    Have a good night, all.

  408. work cometh

    night kids


  409. **cough**
    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5kmmrBaJk1qewacoo1_500.jpg

    No fucking kidding.

  410. *cleans up the place for the arrival of nightly derp*

  411. Why must I feel like that?
    Why must I chase the cat?
    Nothin’ but the derp in me

  412. *archives the derp for future generations*

  413. Paleo? PALEO?

    No, Jimmy Page, as rendered by Steve Albini.

    http://mariobatalivoice.blogspot.com/2011/06/apple-celery-risotto-with-ripe-tomato.html

  414. Stark, please see b-rad’s comment at 11:25.

  415. I have the same Dr Scholl’s as MCPO @ the beach. It has been bugging me all day.

  416. This is just fucking creepy.

    http://youtu.be/YEMnyiDKUJI

    Really? A black guy celebrating the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade?

    What? Obama couldn’t find any children to send letters about it?

    Yeah, no one supports RvW like the guys who don’t have to support children because of it.

    He’s willing to support it yesterday, today, tomorrow and in the future, but not a baby?

    Shit. I’m not even terribly strong on the pro-life stance, but this is just fucked up.

  417. Pretty much….

    http://fuckyeahdementia.com/post/23254790422/lies-1

  418. http://tinyurl.com/a5oadwd

  419. Morning.

  420. Mehrning.

  421. Morgen.

  422. Buenos retardes mi amigos y amigas

  423. Coffee Jello… mmmmm

  424. Did y’all just get up or been at it all night long?

  425. I get up early. Did you know 3:30 happens twice every day?

  426. Yes – yes I did. So does 5 o’clock.

  427. Dog saw fit to bark at the hubby as he got up. At 4 o’clock.

  428. *not my normal wake up time.

    Ugh.

  429. I’ve tried keeping myself up later and sleeping until 5:00, but it hasn’t work so far. I wake up early and grouchy. We’re going back to a normal work schedule in about a month anyhow, so I might as well not bother.

  430. Good morning jello lovers

  431. Are you at work already Jew? I remember you mentioned that you work funky hours at the moment.

  432. Buenos dias.

    I got up at 644, which is normal for me with no alarm. I’ve pretty much arranged my life to never need an alarm.

  433. We’re working 7:00 to 3:30 during the slow time. Normal hours are 5:00 to 3:30.

  434. Mrs MJ gets up at 5:30 so I generally do as well.

    Old, but interesting. Sorta wonder if Car in remembers this band.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnDw6G9WW5E

  435. Winter is slow for us too. Unfortunately the missus needs to get up early. She sets her alarm to wake up with music. Most days it’s a sweet country ballad but occasionally it’s pop music. Today I awoke to Lady Gaga’s Poker Face. Ugh

  436. I usually wake to the sound of water running from hubby’s shower; peaceful, calming, relaxing water soun…….OMG time to pee right now!
    Seriously, it’s nice.

    But the dog guarding me and barking. Oh it’s gonna be a long day.

  437. Old, but interesting.

    Yes. I didn’t recognize the name or the sound.

  438. I didn’t recognize the name or the sound.

    He did say “Old”. Another senior moment.

  439. I got a copy of the CD free when I was a freshmen in college.

    Big day today. Work, haircut, run 6, lift.

  440. I beg your pardon!!! I most certainly am NOT old.

  441. How did your interview go, MJ?

  442. * Twists up face and does best Steve Martin imitation:

    Well, EXCUSE ME!

  443. So I saw this trailer http://youtu.be/sMZyJLcHwmo and had some thoughts.

    1) Is this Die Hard?
    b) How convenient that Morgan Freeman is acting president
    pi) Why is anyone sad that Ashley Judd died?
    iv) I’m offended that anyone anywhere calls the White House “Olympus”. Men — servants, at that — not Gods

  444. I woke to the soothing sounds of dog vomit.

    URKA GURKA URKA GURKA URKA GURKA GEEEEERRRRRRRKKKKKKKK

  445. I saw Dog Vomit as the warm up for Alice Cooper in ’76 at a Willie Nelson picnic.

  446. Excellent impression, AD; you nailed it!

  447. Aww, how cute. Beyoncegate.

    And the Obamas greeted the White House tour guests in person.

    Everything is roses today, even in the Great White North.

  448. New Post for your dining pleasure

  449. How did your interview go, MJ?
    ———————
    I think it went well. My sense is that I have the skills they are looking for, and will probably move on to the next step. I’ll find out in the next day or so.

    Not sure about the whole deal, though. It would be a huge change, and I’m not exactly a risk taker when other people are dependent on the outcome.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 95 other followers