Pre-Wednesday Love

416 Comments

  1. Just a new place to play.

    Woof!

  2. Mmmm. Dog tongue sandwich.

  3. *errrp*

  4. WTF is this?

  5. Puppeh!

  6. WTF is this?

    Well, it’s not Tuesda…

    *quickly clamps hand over mouth*

  7. I guess I just never think of Maine and go “ooooo, I want to go there and see the… and the… yeah!”

    I might feel differently if I liked seafood. Or New England.

  8. Feel free to push this lovey cuteness of love down with content.

  9. Maine has the best blueberries. They are reason enough to go.

  10. Michigan has the best blueberries!

    *beams minor amount of regional pride*

  11. Yes, it does have good ones, Leon. I’ve had both.

  12. Morning. 3 below, winter sucks.

    No tush, no peace!!

  13. WTF is this?

    Well, it’s not Tuesda…

    *quickly clamps hand over mouth*

    You think a cute Puppah is going to fool the Hump?

    It just might work …

  14. 18F here, but no wind, so that’s nice. Time to go feed the chickens and drive to that place where they pay me to think about boring stuff.

  15. My nearby airport says 23º. I believe it.

  16. It just might work …

    Fingers AND toes crossed!!

  17. I only have to bring people food until about 4 pm today.

    I’ve worked doubles since Saturday, so this is good.

  18. New Poat!

    *just kidding

  19. Leon, Acadia National Park is beautiful. Hiking trails all over, some easy enough for wheelchairs, others with rungs in the rock (the aptly named Precipice Trail). Mr. RFH and I like the western side of Mt. Desert Island because it’s less crowded in the summer. We went one fall, and the changing leaves were spectacular.

  20. Car in, will you bring my my slippers?

    And some coffee?

  21. Please?

    With sugar on top?

  22. I’m off the clock at the moment, J’ames.

  23. One more shift, then I get TWO DAYS OFF!!!!

    In a row and everything.

    Then it starts back up again.

    Friday night. All day Sat. All day Sun. I usually work all day Monday, and then tuesday morning.

    But tonight? It’s the “weekend.”

  24. I have been in Maine. It is big and the water is cold. There are these flies that rip huge hunks out of your skin at random moments. The water is cold. It is pretty in a rustic way.

  25. You should apply for the Maine tourism bureau, V.

  26. Ohio does not have black flies pups.Those things are evil.
    It is possible to swim in Ohio without icebergs floating by.

  27. If I want rustic beauty I’ll go to Alaska.

  28. Would one of you good people explain to me how the House GOP works? Do they think? Are they just car crash dummies? What is their purpose? Do they have principles? What?

  29. “You should apply for the Maine tourism bureau, V.”

    HA! Yes, for sure.

  30. If I want rustic beauty, I’ll go to the antique store.

    And Mare, no, no, yes, no clue, no, have no idea.

  31. Comment by mare BENGHAZI TRAVESTY on January 15, 2013 9:59 am
    Would one of you good people explain to me how the House GOP works? Do they think? Are they just car crash dummies? What is their purpose? Do they have principles? What?
    ==========
    How all politicians work: Most important thing in the world, get re-elected. That’s all they care about. They have power, status, and a license to steal. It’s the best job they’ll ever have, and they’ll do/say anything to hang onto it. Moral/principled/truthful people do not succeed in politics.

  32. 23º has been confirmed.

    I am not built for this anymore!

  33. Evidently, Pepe has thought this through and has come to a reasonable conclusion.

  34. Would one of you good people explain to me how the House GOP works? Do they think? Are they just car crash dummies? What is their purpose? Do they have principles? What?
    —————————————
    1. Very poorly.
    2. Yes, but they are playing a different game than we are.
    3. Not at the moment, but if they study real hard they might get promoted up to crash test dummy.
    4. To enrich themselves.
    5. No.
    6. See answer to 5.

  35. Liberal/Catholic unintended consequences? Never happens:

    http://tinyurl.com/aejflhj

  36. Roamy and Mj done good too.

  37. Oh, I get it, see the GOP House is a bunch of geniuses. And they’ve really thought this through, they now think that Obama will “own” the debt now. See, they may have, in this fantasy land, kind of, sort of, well, not really “won” the argument politically.

    That’s just great isn’t it? The GOP thinks they have the upper hand in this “political” argument. What the geniuses haven’t thought about is who is going to pay for this awesome “political” win. Us, that’s who.
    Same principle with that idiotic bloated Sandy bill.

  38. I fucking hate my job. I used to love it, but now…I work almost exclusively with liars.

  39. What happened, MJ. I’m stuck inside snow/ice combo. What did the lying liars lie about?

  40. This is my sausage. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    My sausage is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
    My sausage, without me, is useless; without my sausage, I am useless. I must fire my sausage true, I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will.

  41. There is snow on the ground in Fort Worth.

    Guess that rolling thunder that we heard early this morning and the red sky should have been a clue that sumthin was up.

    And now a Winter Weather Advisory just popped up on my computer screen…..

  42. What happened, MJ. I’m stuck inside snow/ice combo. What did the lying liars lie about?
    ——————————-
    It’s not so much that they lie, it’s more that they don’t do what they say they are going to do. The usual BS.

  43. It’s 25F here. Has anyone seen my balls?

  44. It’s not so much that they lie, it’s more that they don’t do what they say they are going to do.

    MJ is in construction?

    **watches crack in floor widen**

  45. Has anyone seen my balls?

    Yeah, aren’t they that blue pair in the corner over there?

  46. Nope. I just found ‘em. They were hiding between my liver and left kidney.

  47. Huh, I wonder who left those there.

  48. Felt pretty good yesterday. Today, I feel like hammered whale shit.

  49. Bread dough under my wedding ring.

  50. Craps, this isn’t twitter.

  51. You got that crud that’s been going around, Chief? We’re finally getting over it, but it’s been a long couple of weeks.

    *sends thermos of chicken noodle soup and warm squishy (gentle) hugs*

  52. Nope. I just found ‘em. They were hiding between my liver and left kidney.

    PG has Smart BallsTM

  53. Unpossible; no such thing.

  54. Has anyone seen my balls?

    Yes, and they are awesome.

  55. “Yes, and they are awesome.”

    HA!

  56. PG has Smart Balls

    They’ve served me quite well.

  57. Why do I have to always be an indicator of suckage?

  58. You think you got it bad, you don’t know shit.

  59. Pffft

  60. I fucking hate my job. I used to love it, but now…I work almost exclusively with liars.

    Seriously, don’t get me started. I work exclusively with don’t-give-a-shitters, top to bottom. Any sucker who attempts to work their ass off will be punished.

  61. *dumps a box of puppies and kittens on Beasns*

  62. Good morning, disappointed ass bandits.

  63. Moarnin’ Sean.

  64. *dumps a box of puppies and kittens on Beasns*

    I’m allergic.

    *runs to room crying*

    *slams door*

    *runs back out*

    Can we make it guinea pigs and bunnies instead?

  65. “Good morning, disappointed ass bandits.”

    Yep.

  66. The game I just beat was set in a steampunk-ish setting with whale oil powering most high-tech machinery.

    No word on whether they hammered the whale shit.

  67. Heya, Cyn. Is it cold in the desert today?

  68. You hate my puppies and kittens?!?

    *runs to room crying*

    *slams door*

    *runs back out*

    They were hypoallergenic!!!

    *slams door*

  69. Uff da, yes, it’s cold. Crikie Cold.

  70. I was looking at my Grandfathers passport from England it says place of birth Vauge. Is that a place? I get nothing from searching other than did you mean vague?

  71. Prague jumps to mind.

  72. He might not have known where he was born, or it could be French rather than English.

    Looks French.

  73. So Obama phone lady says ‘they’ control you (obama phones) because they only give you so many minutes a month.

    By control, does she mean, she should get unlimited minutes or they suck you in with freebies and keep you there?

    Meh.

  74. I think Armstrong is a stoop, however, why would Nike or any sponsor have grounds to get their money back? They surely profited from Armstrong’s wins, his “courageous” fight with cancer and his good name at the time.

    NEVER understood the US Postal Service sponsoring anyone. Yeah, they have money to burn.

    Also, why confess if it just means lawsuits for the rest of your life and paying lawyers the remainder of your fortune?

    Couldn’t he have just stayed with the truthful: “I never tested positive?”

  75. Maybe it’s Australian French, and you have to read it upside down.

  76. MOM, SEAN HAS URBANDICTIONARY IN HIS BROWSER SEARCH PROVIDER COLLECTION!

  77. They were hypoallergenic!!!

    *slams door*

    *gets all huffy with my hands on my hips*

    YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THAT!!

    I love puppies and kittens but kittens could kill me.

    Cyn, why do you want me dead?

    *slams cyn’s door*

    Why won’t you dump guinea pigs on me?

  78. mare, the Postal Service should get to advertise wherever they want.

    Maybe you’re not paying your fair share.

  79. MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE, DEAR GOD, MAKE IT STOP!!!

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/sandy-hook-children-record-rainbow-article-1.1240154

  80. I have to agree with Wiser….MAKE IT STOP!!! I BEG YOU!

  81. V, I think that’s Olde English for “vagina”

  82. Thanks Sean

  83. The local morning radio show was discussing Armstrong this morning, and the predictably idiotic liberal chick says “when you’re old and you look back at your life, are you going to be okay with having cheated to win?”. Talking about these high-minded notions of sportsmanship and athletic achievement.

    Yes, sitting in my solid gold recliner as my beard turns white, I’m going to feel really sad about “cheating” like everyone else at the top of my sport.

  84. wiser, I heard some blurb on the morning news that Sandy Hook is still grieving and do not have any opinions on mental health or gun control at the moment. But they will. Soon.

    As if they will have/get authority/truth to power over the issue.

  85. It will be just like the meme, men can’t have an opinion on abortion.

  86. MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE, DEAR GOD, MAKE IT STOP!!!

    B-but they haven’t even settled on awareness ribbons or awareness bracelets yet!

  87. I don’t get the whole taking Armstrong’s wins away from him, if most or all, at his level were doing the same. It’s called ‘leveling the playing field’.

  88. I heard some blurb on the morning news that Sandy Hook is still grieving and do not have any opinions on mental health or gun control at the moment. But they will. Soon.

    Absolute. Moral. Authority.

  89. So vmax’s grandfather was a comedian. Nice.

  90. I’m with Wiser, if this keeps up, I might join the Sandy Hook Denialists just offend people.

  91. What a huge mess Armstrong made. I just can’t imagine how long the lawsuits will continue. He was on top of the world and now he’s a joke. Maybe he found out his cancer is back and the joke is on us.

    Do you think he could have won without the steroids? Based on his excellent team, training, equipment and experience?

  92. So Obama phone lady says ‘they’ control you (obama phones) because they only give you so many minutes a month.

    Tell that bitch to shut up and eat her government cheese.

  93. “Tell that bitch to shut up and eat her government cheese.”

    HA! Agreed!

  94. I think that everyone cheats in that sport, mare. The European riders probably don’t have the same drug testing labs that we do.

  95. And he was lighter than most riders, he only had one nut.

  96. Did Landis shoot up?

    He’s a dick for sure.

  97. wiser, I heard some blurb on the morning news that Sandy Hook is still grieving and do not have any opinions on mental health or gun control at the moment. But they will. Soon.

    Some of the parents are already out there, “making their voices heard.”

    One of them is going to get a private audience with the Chocolate Jesus. A few others just participated in a photo-op by presenting a petition to the manager of a nearby Wal-Mart, asking them to stop selling assault weapons. Some are speaking to the state legislature, demanding that they Do Something™.

    Sounds to me like the grieving isn’t really getting in the way of their using their Absolute Moral Authority whenever possible and for as many media whores who will have them.

  98. Lance sucks. I idolized that fucker growing up. Hell, he was the reason I got on a bike in the first place and decided that I, of weak physical body, could make a go at it.

  99. “So vmax’s grandfather was a comedian. Nice.”

    He sure was….clever.

  100. Landis got caught, and was stripped of his Tour de France.

  101. mare, did you watch Armstrong on Oprah? What did he admit to? He doped before he got cancer, I can’t imagine him doing something like ‘roids after cancer. Blood doping, yeah, hormone shit and risk bringing the cancer back, unless he was a nihilist and thought he was living on borrowed time. Who knows?

  102. For sure, MJ. Lots of people really idolized the guy. Shoot, gets cancer and comes back to win? That’s legendary.

    I was one of those that kept saying, “yes, but he never tested positive!”

    I figured you deserved a break if you were clever enough to beat the tests no one else could.

    There was a lot of jealousy where Lance was concerned. I think whole countries were pissed he beat the tests.

  103. I hope Lance gets his remaining nut crushed by an electric car in a bike accident.

  104. I couldn’t bring myself to watch lance on Oprah, that fat cow sickens me. But I did hear snippets on the radio last night. Don’t have a full picture. I think it airs fully on Thursday. Still won’t watch.

    Why on Oprah?

  105. Sounds to me like the grieving isn’t really getting in the way of their using their Absolute Moral Authority whenever possible a

    Now see, it’s like we’re on different planets. Someone kills my kid, and if I didn’t drop dead from the grief, I’d be telling those assholes to STFU. How in hell is disarming everybody going to stop the deranged?

  106. It hasn’t aired yet, has it? I think they just taped it.

  107. OMG!! 12 people were injured in a fire at a condo.

    WE NEED FIRE CONTROL!!!

  108. “Landis got caught, and was stripped of his Tour de France.”

    Yes, as I recall, once that happened he was on a full blown mission to ruin Armstrong. I think it gnawed at him Lance never tested positive.

    Right or wrong, Landis always looked and acted like the guy you want to punch in face for being a dick.

  109. Well, I’m sure I’m going to hell, but I don’t give a shit what the parents of those dead children think. It really doesn’t matter to me. Emotional, grieving parents are not my basis for making decisions.

  110. How in hell is disarming everybody going to stop the deranged?

    because… ummm… ya see, it’s gonna help…. uhhhh… those gun nuts……..

    damn.

    Do you really need a rational, logical answer here? ’cause I seem to have lost my ability to think like a liberal, so I’m at a loss as to how to provide you with any other answer besides “because.”

  111. It does make his cameo in Dodgeball unintentionally hilarious.

  112. Yeah, my son looked up to Lance, too. He no longer wears the yellow bracelet.
    He wears the Dick Winters one I gave him.

  113. Yeah, this makes sense, soccer players never make contact except for high fiveing…Hoo boy:

    http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/01/15/manhattan-youth-soccer-club-bans-high-fives-due-to-flu-epidemic/

  114. Because if you don’t let law abiding citizens buy guns, then they won’t be there.

    Yeah. That’s it.

  115. I wonder how much was made on just those bracelets? So many people had one. My kids use to wear them.

  116. Because if you don’t let law abiding citizens buy guns, mentally unstable people will not act out.

    #2!

  117. IF everybody was doing it, Lance was still the champion 7 times. IF.

    I can’t work up a whole lot of outrage over any of it. It’s the Tour de France. Who gives a shit?

    I just had a phone call with a ‘uge construction management firm, they want our firm on their team for a 5 year contract Request for Proposal response. Their competitors have already got us on their team, and there are only two qualified respondents.

    I’m feeling pretty good about my chances on this one. Just a hunch.

    *wonders how Dave is doing in Michigan*

    *laughs*

  118. Yeah, Pups.

    DO NOT BLOW THIS!!

  119. Did you all see this story?

    http://tinyurl.com/ahll5kl

    So, so much wrong with it. Those idiots/countries who support such a thing are most likely opposed to the ‘people’ wanting to abort killers and rapists and pedophiles. I’d think the latter is a much bigger drain on society …oh wait…many of them f*ckers are in our governments making law to protect themselves.

  120. OTOH, if the deal is big enough, and blowing will seal it, consider it.

  121. Good point, Leon.

  122. Pupster: Please forward me all of the information including your bid. TYIA.

  123. The pair, who both worked as cobblers and could communicate with each other using a special sign language understood only by them and their close family, enlisted the support of Mr Dufour to be euthanised.

    But it took them almost two years to find a medical institution to carry out the procedure after they were turned by their local hospital.

    Mr Verbessem told the Daily Telegraph that the family had tried to talk them out of it, but were eventually persuaded by their arguments

    o_O.

  124. Emotional, grieving parents are not my basis for making decisions.

    Never let a crisis go to waste.

  125. Beasn,

    Give the left a few years, and they’ll be putting children to death if they are born with any sort of defect.

  126. Pupster?

  127. If you’re hell-bent on killing yourself, there’s not much that can stop you, particularly men. If I were born deaf, and learned I would soon be blind, I’m not sure how I’d feel. I wouldn’t ask anyone for help, though.

  128. Colorado Alex, they are already doing that in the Netherlands and last I heard preemies in the UK are being left to die – they need the beds – probably to kill off the pensioners in for minor complaints.

  129. and blowing will seal it

    No, it’s just ice-cream.

    MJ, I’d hire you if you were more of a team player.

  130. From the “why words matter” file:

    Dog owner vs guardian

  131. Fuck teams.

  132. MJ, I’d hire you if you were more of a team player.

    I laughed like Rosetta in his first tutu.

  133. One wonders how the parents of the Sandy Hook victims feel about having an armed guard in schools.

    Because if they are all right with that, then they are the worst kind of hypocrites.

    If the prinicpal at that school had been packing an “assault” weapon, you can be damn sure a whole lot of those children might still be alive. The only thing a first responder is good for in a situation like that is to watch over the corpses until the coroner arrives.

  134. The White House should be a gun-free zone.

    Okay, now tell me why schools should be.

  135. I’m always the last to be picked for a fuck team. :(

  136. Maybe if those deaf twins had had access to assault weapons they wouldn’t have had to wait 2 years to kill themselves…..

    *sits on bench waiting for the express train to Hell*

  137. Sean gets sloppy sevenths.

  138. Every now and then, Bob Zubrin makes me pleased as punch that I bought his books on Mars.

  139. That can be hurtful, Sean….are you okay?

  140. The US military should be a gun-free zone. You don’t love war, do you?

  141. Well, military bases are already gun free, so they are on their way.

  142. From the “why words matter” file:
    Dog owner vs guardian

    I seem to recall writing about this before the afterlife.

    “The purpose of Newspeak was not only to provide a medium of expression for the world-view and mental habits proper to the devotees of Ingsoc, but to make all other modes of thought impossible. It was intended that when Newspeak had been adopted once and for all and Oldspeak forgotten, a heretical thought — that is, a thought diverging from the principles of Ingsoc — should be literally unthinkable, at least so far as thought is dependent on words.”

  143. MJ found a new house:

    http://is.gd/AyITEh

  144. That can be hurtful, Sean….are you okay?

    I’ll get over it. But I’m sick of being the equipment manager.

  145. “…equipment manager.”

    LOL

  146. No eligible women at the meetings?

  147. That’s called “13th Stepping,” leon, and it’s kind of frowned upon.

  148. This fuckin’ guy.

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/article/2518621#.UPWs_WfTBOc

  149. I get that, but fooey. It’s a group setting with people who at least theoretically understand some of your life. If it were church they’d be pushing you at each other.

    Do you practice/profess a faith?

  150. Carney said that the president will be joined by Vice President Joe Biden as well as children who wrote to the president after the Newtown shootings.

    He will be joined by Hollywood starlets and CNN anchors?

  151. He’s such a prick, Pups:

  152. I heard about that this morning, Pups.

    *spits*

    I hate that guy.

  153. Do The Dookie Dance!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qfRazBKBUc8#

  154. *sniff, sniff*

    http://tinyurl.com/b39jayu

  155. *deploys emergency puppies*

    http://cheezburger.com/6579607552

  156. scott…that was hilarious. Here’s one of the comments:

    Andrew Frederick 3 days ago
    It’s testimonials like these that will help Al through this shitty time…

  157. There is nothing below TFG.

  158. I should have been a bit more clear, leon. What I was talking about refers mainly to going after newcomers, which is sleazy because they’re emotionally vulnerable. There’s nothing that says you can’t date/screw/marry anyone in the program. All kidding aside, I’m just not looking for any of that right now.

  159. “There’s nothing that says you can’t date/screw/marry anyone in the program. All kidding aside, I’m just not looking for any of that right now.”

    Me either.

  160. I’m about to go fucking postal after reading Drudge.

  161. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN??!?!?!?!?

  162. “I’m about to go fucking postal after reading Drudge.”

    Welcome to my world.

  163. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN??!?!?!?!?

    Jerry Sandusky is all over this.

  164. All kidding aside, I’m just not looking for any of that right now.

    Ah, I thought there was some bitterness about a lack of companionship and was trying to offer helpful suggestions.

    I should stick to unhelpful ones.

  165. So, he’s going to surround himself with children and nobody is supposed to see the rank appeal to emotional clap-trap? Gawd, I’m surrounded by fucking morons.

  166. “I should stick to unhelpful ones.”

    HA! That IS what we do best around here. Let’s stick to what we know.

  167. Sean, have you checked your prostate? It might be your prostate.

  168. Can we say that we’re truly doing enough to give all the children of this country the chance they deserve to live out their lives in happiness and with purpose?”

    Aborted full term babies not available for letter writing.

  169. Is nothing sacred?

    http://tinyurl.com/ah7odjp

    These dances are going to blow (and not in a good way).

  170. I think I need more hobbies.

  171. Have you considered the “escorts” category on backpage.com?

  172. I’m guessing that there will be much less blowing actually.

  173. Will the press conference be a gun free zone? Those Secret Service guys will only be carrying super-soakers, right?

  174. Wasn’t Sarah Palin mocked for bringing her DS child to events?

    I must have dreamt that.

    And also, where the fuck was she during the War on Women™ crap? She makes one appearance and the whole thing dissolves.

  175. Can we say that we’re truly doing enough to give all the children of this country the chance they deserve to live out their lives in happiness and with purpose?”

    Orwell, paging Mr. Orwell.

  176. And also, where the fuck was she during the War on Women™ crap? She makes one appearance and the whole thing dissolves.

    No it doesn’t. The left will demonize her as a sell out, and too many women hate her because she was successful, with a big family and a stud of a husband and still managed to stick to her conservative principles even when the going got tough.

  177. I think she was in one of Mitt’s binders.

  178. Conservative women are actually men. Or so I’ve been told.

  179. I’m getting a dog just so I can do this prank:

  180. No it doesn’t. The left will demonize her as a sell out, and too many women hate her because she was successful, with a big family and a stud of a husband and still managed to stick to her conservative principles even when the going got tough.
    ——————————————————–
    I don’t buy it. She could have been used as bait.

    The left did expertly. Hell, they even created a character for that purpose.

  181. If I’m in a binder will I look better in my jeans?

  182. The more I think about the vaginas and binders, and tampons and free birth control for middle aged women in expensive grad schools, and phones, I want to go on an MCPO like postal spree.

  183. Politics is just about a bunch of gross stuff.

  184. Here’s what the left does: divert coffins from Dover AFB so that Hillary and TFG can take a picture with them and tell us that a YouTube video killed our people.

    Here’s what the right does: **gets vapors**

    I wonder why we lose?

  185. Wow. I don’t usually link the Totty’s from Theo, but this is just spectacular.

    I’m in love.

    http://tinyurl.com/b76sxzd

  186. Also Sean, I just saw an ad for FilipinoCupid. Seems legit.

  187. And by “seems legit” I mean you’ll probably get screwed.

  188. If he did get screwed, that would be legit. If he gets left broke and with a case of blueballs, that’s not legit.

  189. I’d say there’s a 100% at at least one of those scenarios, XBrad. Thus, “legit”, i.e. he’d be screwed.

  190. *tunes up thumb-sized violin, falls over laughing*

    http://is.gd/yBZrX9

    Hey, kids – you’re the ones who demanded this shit sandwich; now STFU and start eating.

  191. Wow. I don’t usually link the Totty’s from Theo, but this is just spectacular.

    Damn him. He promised that he’d keep those private.

  192. Sorry, Cynnabuns. You KNOW I can’t resist a chick in opera gloves.

  193. I’m in love.

    She looks angry.

  194. Trekkies go Gangnam:

    http://is.gd/eEucFW

    I LOL’ed :P

  195. She looks angry.

    She’s mad about all the Snickers wrappers I left in the bushes outside her window.

  196. Nobody likes a littering stalker.

  197. *gives a wink and finger gun thingy to Leon*

  198. Ahh, do we need to start worrying about gun control legislation?

  199. Oh, and Jackie Chan can go screw himself.

  200. Legislation? No, that’s dead even in the senate (NRA owns a chunk of what passes for Harry Reid’s soul).

    EOs? Yep.

  201. Bitch shoulda put a trashcan out there. And a minifridge. A minifridge would have been nice.

  202. She’s mad about all the Snickers wrappers I left in the bushes outside her window.

    I bet if you’d offered to share ‘em, she would have invited you in

  203. She’s mad about all the Snickers wrappers I left in the bushes outside her window.

    I only leave used tissues. They’re biodegradable.

  204. What Leon said.

    Executive Orders can be retroactive, yes?

  205. How do EO’s get around the 2nd Amendment? By proclaiming it mentions ‘congress’ and not ‘king dick’?

  206. Hey, kids – you’re the ones who demanded this shit sandwich; now STFU and start eating.

    And do people really think they will pay nothing once the gubmint forces private insurance out of business and we go single payer? Do they think things will be cheaper?

  207. So, King Barack is gonna issue an EO banning weapons coming into this country from other countries.

    Any word on how he feels about us exporting weapons to foreign countries? I heard tell that was a real problem a couple of years ago; there was even a program put in place by this administration to “prove” it was happening….

  208. And do people really think they will pay nothing once the gubmint forces private insurance out of business and we go single payer? Do they think things will be cheaper?

    What is this “thinking” that you speak of?

  209. The libertarian pulp revenge epic The Black Arrow anticipated this. There’s a reason the protagonist uses a bow.

    Mostly because it doesn’t set off the auditory gunshot-detectors installed on every city block by then.

  210. If he tries to ban anything with EO’s he is in deep shit. I think he is just going to make demands, congress will do something with background checks and then OMG DEBT CEILING !!!!ELEVENTY

  211. Gird your loins, people! Girrrrrrrrrd!!!1!

  212. How do EO’s get around the 2nd Amendment? By proclaiming it mentions ‘congress’ and not ‘king dick’?

    Time to march on D.C. with torches and pitchforks!

  213. Someone sum up today’s comments for me pls.

    And get me some wine.

  214. I think I’m going to fall off the wagon tonight. There is a bottle of Tullymore Dew with my name on it.

  215. “if it saves only one child we should do it”

    *throws out broccoli and rancid milk*

    *applies for Nobel*

  216. Let me know when we ban swimming pools.

  217. Let me know when we change the national speed limit to 25mph.

  218. Nobody needs a swimming pool.

  219. Speed limit? Hell – we should be walking everywhere. It’s good for our bodies and good for the environment and good for the children.

  220. Here Carin:

    http://tinyurl.com/b3hl7yn

  221. …congress will do something with background checks…

    Didn’t a background check prevent the Newtown shooter from being able to legally purchase a gun in the first place?

  222. Mare! I wrote you song

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6WMV_HvWKc&feature=player_embedded

  223. from the bwahahaha file (or binder):

    The New York Police Department wants pharmacies in and around the city to fight prescription drug thefts by stocking pill bottles fitted with GPS tracking chips.

    Police pharmacies to hide fake pill bottles fitted with GPS devices amid the legitimate supplies on their shelves.

    *dumps pills into bag, throws pill bottle in Mare’s car*

  224. I’m so sick of our government doing absolutely everything back asswards. Every single thing they do is wrong. It’s amazing. It’s like they look for the dumbest reaction or policy and say, “does this make my ass look fat?”

  225. “if it saves only one child we should do it”

    Let me know when they ban abortions.

  226. If you don’t love this, there is something wrong with you!

    http://tinyurl.com/d8n7r5w

  227. The Barefoot Contessa has a a friendly, kind face but when she eats the food at the end of the show I want to slap it out of her hand.

  228. Forget meth, I need to make homebrew Oxycontin.

  229. Mare, she looks and sounds a lot like my mom.

    Don’t take food away from my mom. It will make her sad.

  230. *dumps pills into bag, throws pill bottle in Mare’s car*

  231. Isn’t she the one who refused a dying kid’s final wish to cook with her?

    (And yet she is just fine hanging out with limousine liberals and the beautiful gay people who live in the Hamptons)

  232. Sun shines, people forget. . .

  233. Looks like a D-704 on the centerline.

  234. Nobody needs a swimming pool.

    . . . north of the Red River!

  235. Two kids, probably about 16, just came into the store. The handle bars came off of one of their bikes and they were looking for tools.
    Laura asked what kind and one of them mumbled “a hammer?”.

    It became clear that they weren’t looking for tools, they were looking for someone to fix their bike. I found the proper allen wrench, loosened it, put it back in the tube and tightened it down. Something every 12 year old new how to do when I was a kid.

    They were 16 and didn’t know how wrenches work!

    We are screwed.

  236. There is a bottle of Tullymore Dew with my name on it.
    ——————
    OMG, I love that stuff.

  237. They were 16 and didn’t know how wrenches work!

    But they can text so fast their fingers are a blur.

  238. “Allen” wrenches are sexist.

  239. Let me know when we put the cold medicine next to the Oxycontin and require and ID to purchase it.

  240. They were 16 and didn’t know how wrenches work!

    Some days, I think I’m not very manly because I can’t rebuild an engine or replace my own toilet.

    I’m goddamn alpha male compared to the kids coming up after me.

  241. 12?! I was fixing my own bike at 9!

  242. “Something every 12 year old new how to do when I was a kid.”

    That makes me sad. I’m a big believer in kids being resourceful and knowing how to do things. I’m still working on my kids to develop more hobbies. (besides smoking meth)

    I don’t really know, but I think the lack of fathers around doesn’t help.

  243. Making meth is a good skill to have, and they won’t have to pay as much.

    #stuffILearnedOnAMC

  244. But now they know how to fix it if it ever happens again, so you taught them a valuable lesson today, Scott.

    I always told my kids there is no shame in asking for help if you honestly don’t know how to do something; the shame comes if you fail to remember the lesson once you’ve been shown how to do it.

  245. A whole generation of people that don’t know how to do anything.

    That’s why they are kids until they are 26, they are still too stupid to feed themselves at 21.

  246. Both of my nephews are absolutely worthless when it comes to doing anything around the house, and I’m not just talking about “chores.” My nephew didn’t even know how to tighten up a cabinet hinge or work on the basic insides of the toilet.

    But you’re right, they know how to text and go online. Both are lacking fathers that are around much.

  247. Yep, kids these days are dumb when it comes to repairs.

    Also, Ace called the kids Obama will be surrounding himself with at the press conference “human shields”.

    Perfect term.

  248. Some days, I think I’m not very manly because I can’t rebuild an engine or replace my own toilet.

    If you make enough money to support yourself and your family AND can afford to pay for someone to fix those things for you, you are plenty manly enough in my book.

  249. Leon, you could replace a toilet, easily. You’re just too much of a perfectionist to start in on the job.

    You get over it.

  250. I took one look at it and said ” you need an allen wrench”.

    “Do you have one?” he said.

    Here’s your sign kid.

  251. I completely missed Mike Pence winning the governor’s mansion in Indiana. That’s awesome, how did I miss that?

  252. Making meth is a good skill to have

    Word!

    I grew my first crop of weed by the time I was a Junior in high school, and burned down my first mobile home (not mine) making hash by the time I was 20. Kids these days are useless.

  253. Oh, and my husband’s nephews are so worthless when they were in high school they’d wait at the kitchen table in the morning for their mom to walk in and fix breakfast. WTF. It’s learned behavior.

    When my daughter was visiting one summer she barbecued the chicken because her cousins (17 and 15) had never stared the gas bbq and didn’t know how to grill chicken. WTF?

  254. No one at all taught me how to grill meat. I assumed it was instinctive.

  255. WOW! Over 5,000 cases of flu in PA. 40 deaths!

    It’s Captain Trips!

  256. “You get over it.”

    HA! I put off installing a dish washer for about a year. When I finally got around to it I planned on doing it the easy way because I was afraid of plumbing.

    When the owner of True Value learned what I was planning he said “pull your dress up Nancy and do it right.”

    Plumping ain’t so bad.

  257. But they have great self esteem……Pffffffftttt. They both got a rude awakening when the one attempted college and couldn’t cope and the other transferred to a private high school and found out he’s not an A student. He’s a solid B- (when he works hard).

  258. Plumping ain’t so bad.

    Plumping? BWAHWAHWAHWAH! Does this wrench make my ass look fat?

  259. Haha, peer pressure is quite an incentive, scott!

  260. Leon, I don’t think they had a clue how to turn on the gas from the tank, turn the knobs to low and fire it up with either the flint in the starter or a match.

  261. Gotta run. Picking up dog food tonight – I actually have to go to the butcher’s – can pick up something for the wife and I then too, since I forgot to take anything out of the freezer before I left.

  262. I read that our students are way down on the actual knowledge tests.

    But #1 by a long way on self esteem.

  263. Bye, Agile!

  264. Wow, AD’s dogs eat pretty good!

  265. You can roast meat, leon. I know you can!

    I think it is instinctive. It’s the telling when it’s done that’s the tricky part.

  266. I was going to install our new dishwasher, but our home appliance guy quoted us a terrific price, which included disposing of our old one. It was just easier to let him do it right the first time.

    OTOH, if you need to do something like that, there’s almost certainly a youtube video that will walk you through everything you need, and point out the major pitfalls.

  267. youtube is the best thing ever for home repairs.

  268. They were 16 and didn’t know how wrenches work!

    You let him borrow yours and tell him how to do it while he does it.

    I learn best by doing.

  269. On tentatively jumping on the DIY bandwagon for simple home repairs: I had to laugh at myself after my kids started talking and asked what I was doing and then hearing myself explain it. Lightbulb moment: holy cow, I actually do know how to do this.

  270. Right, I’m a little nervous about water sources that sit atop wood floors. I usually pay for someone to install the dishwasher.

  271. Good point, beasn. That’s how I learn the best, too.

    Maybe they never had anyone around to show them.

  272. Don’t worry, mare, wood floats!

  273. When I get too old to pack heavy stuff I guess I can always fix bikes.

    Flat tire? Sure, that will be $157 dollars. Yes, I will accept your moms credit card.

  274. My son completely re-did two bathrooms and the kitchen in his home. He did a great job too. I was really proud of him!

  275. Maybe vmax can give you a reference to put them together for stores at Christmas time.

  276. youtube is the best thing ever for home repairs.

    That’s how I learned how to replace a stopcock, and how to change the oil in my motorcycle after my shop closed.

  277. You need to be a contortionist to install a dishwasher. That was the hardest part. My back hurt for days.

  278. Mare resourcefulness can be learned.by hanging around resourceful people.
    Once upon a time there was this thing called Shop Class where incredibly resourceful guys showed kids how things worked.

    My dad was old school and could fix anything with bailing wire.

  279. I used you tube to replace the rear tail light in my wifes car (kinda tricky actually) just after the warranty expired. Got quoted $145, fixed it for under $10.

  280. It was a birthday present from Laura. It sat in the garage for a freaking year because I was being a Nancy.

  281. Then there’s the flip side of all of that – when an appliance manufacturer doesn’t publish manuals of their products, and tells you that you have to call a repairman to fix the darn thing and/or order a replacement part.

  282. I installed my own garbage disposal at the Ann Arbor house.

    I should get that on a t-shirt and wear it to bars.

  283. When the owner of True Value learned what I was planning he said “pull your dress up Nancy and do it right.”

    That is a keeper and I will use it on my sons.

  284. Nice tag line and header!!

  285. Garbage disposal was pretty easy.

  286. It was, in the end. It helped that the old, broken one was already occupying the location I needed.

  287. I’ve changed light bulbs – many times!

  288. Now, the damn Insty-hot water heater, that thing was a motherfucker. I didn’t even try to remove it, let alone replace it. I had the guy come do that one.

  289. “My son completely re-did two bathrooms and the kitchen in his home. He did a great job too. I was really proud of him!”

    That’s great. Really nice to be able to do that yourself and save so much!

  290. Mare! why did you kill it? Why?

  291. Mare’s been all ranty and shit.

  292. Afternoon.

  293. Comment by mare BENGHAZI TRAVESTY on January 15, 2013 4:31 pm

    Here Carin:

    http://tinyurl.com/b3hl7yn

    That’s why I love mare best of all.

  294. Nice tag line and header!!
    ———————————–
    Thanks. I thought the picture would make a great caption contest.

  295. I hate him so very much.

    Ugh.

    I don’t even want to make fun of him.

    I want to smash his face in.

  296. I want to tie him to a chair and say, ‘uh, uh, uh, ummm, uh, uhhhhhhhhhhhh, uh,” for an hour and a half.

  297. DD#3 made eggplant parmesan for the two of us for a late lunch today.

    I’m seriously considering holding her hostage and not letting her go back to England…..

  298. And then smash his face in.

  299. I want lock him in a room with Rush Limbaugh, Brit Hume, and Victor Davis Hanson and have them “school” him.

    Perhaps I’d throw in Mark Levin and the WSJ’s Henninger too.

  300. I’d like to dress Obama up like Urkel, and drop him in the hood of Detroit.

  301. I’d sooner leave him with Thomas Sowell and Walter Williams.

  302. Oh, Leon. Let’s not quibble. There are plenty of good candidates for that.

  303. True, but I think he’s too racist to believe math from a white man.

  304. That header pic needs a dildo added to his hand

  305. ” Mare’s been all ranty and shit.”

    Was I? I didn’t think I was ranty today.

    *checks self awareness level

  306. True, but I think he’s too racist to believe math from a white man.

    Look , this was my fantasy. It wasn’t as if I cared what Obama thought.

  307. That header pic needs a dildo added to his hand

    Now I miss Patty Ann.

  308. I’ve got a whole lot of fantasies, and not a single one involves the TFG.

  309. I’d like to explain Economics to him. Slowly. So he can get it.

  310. Will we be able to aks questions after?

  311. Car in, I stopped by Bullmoose Records after my case today and picked up lateralus. There were no used tool discs at all which means they sell fast. So far I’ve only heard a few songs (volume high) and they rock.

  312. Jimbro, please don’t encourage her.

  313. Will we be able to aks questions after?
    ————————-
    Yep. Questions such as, “Without using the term social justice, fairness, economic equality, or redistribution, please tell me why you are not the biggest dickfacebaghole in the universe. Also, how many Lincoln bibles do you have shoved in your ass right now?”

  314. A tool addict?

  315. Oh, Jimbro … you’re in for a treat!

    Jimbro, please don’t encourage her.

    SHUT UP YOU.

  316. A tool addict?

    As if that’s a bad thing.

  317. I’d like to explain Economics to him. Slowly. So he can get it.

    You’re going to have to start at the very beginning, because it’s obvious he’s never even read a pamphlet on the subject.

  318. If Carin is talking Tool I can talk cars.
    I pulled up beside a Maserati yesterday. I do not know what a new Maserati goes for but they need to give the sound engineers a bonus.
    From the outside it sounded perfect.

  319. Look, this is no tit-for-tat, vman.

  320. Did Car in mention tits?

    If Car in gets to talk tits, can we go back to butt blogging?

  321. The profit motive? DO YOU SPEAK IT?

    Say profit motive again, motherfucker.

  322. tit-for-tat….

    Fridays, right?

  323. At idle it sounded powerful with a subtle rumble that was quietly noticeable. Under power it sounded like an Italian sports car. Quietly.

  324. My nephew is completely useless. We were stunned when my sister had to spend 45 minutes on the phone, talking him through putting gas in the car………he was 20!!! He did graduate from college with a degree in creative writing. Needless to say, he lives at home.

  325. I did NOT mention tits.

    I never mention tits.

    *cries

  326. So I can only talk cars if I say the grey beard driving was cranking 10,000 days at 11! Or maybe he had a Tool bumper sitcker

  327. Yikes.

    My kids know how to get gas. How to change a tire or jump a car battery. My second oldest son made our fried chicken for dinner tonight (from scratch), and they all know how to do laundry.

    *waits for Mother-Of-The-Year award.

  328. or sticker

  329. When I had a flat in my truck it took me a while to find where to crank the spare down. I knew it was somewhere but they hid it good.

  330. There are a ton of Maseratis in Florida. I think its because there aren’t many options for high end convertibles.

  331. So, Car in, safe to say you cut the umbilical cord at the right time…or knocked ‘em off the tit, ‘eh?

  332. I would have paid a “journalist” $1000 I don’t have to have asked Obama at the “press conference” what an “assault weapon” was.

  333. Quotes are “fun.”

  334. Wow, it’s sad that Nancy Pelosi will be Speaker of the House for another four years.

  335. I struggle with “quotes”. Too many “ruins” your argument. Too few makes you worry about “attribution”.

  336. Wait, what? When did the Rs lose the house?

  337. It was a quattroporte MJ 4 door sedan. You are right I see them frequently but not near as many convertibles.

  338. Fuck that. Ask him why his hair color keeps changing.

    Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh…smartest guy in the room.

  339. It was a quattroporte MJ 4 door sedan. You are right I see them frequently but not near as many convertibles.
    ————————–
    I saw a ton of the convertibles heading up and down Alligator Alley.

  340. You know, the hair color thing really, really bugs me. You see him and wonder why he looks different and then when you see the comparison shots it becomes clear. Tomorrow he’s going to be pulling out all the stops: children, gray hair, TOTUS, the works.

  341. I would like to give him a lawn mower and ask him to start it.

    That would have been awesome at a debate.

  342. Used to see quite a few Quattroportes in Newport Beach. And Ferraris, and the odd Lambo.

  343. I wonder if he can make toast.

  344. Ask him to read Shakespeare aloud.

  345. I see Car in brought us dinner:

    http://tinyurl.com/coh53ac

  346. I’ll bet Obama knows how to get a condom onto a banana without using his hands.

  347. Ask him what kind of manicure he prefers. A light buff, or high gloss.

  348. MJ seems to know a lot about manicures. Too much.

  349. Did anybody forget to thank anybody else in their acceptance speech today?

  350. If the HillBuzz guys are right about his HIV status, he may not actually know much about condoms.

  351. Does your wife look fat in that dress?

    Hint: yes.

  352. If you believe in green initiatives, why do you allow your wife to slaughter couches wholesale and wear them as clothing?

  353. Who’s breath smells worse, Bo or Michelle?

  354. You want me to use a condom, Barry?

    Naw, it’s already on that banana, we don’t need to worry.

  355. I think young people would be interested to know that Obama’s government killed the founder of Reddit.

  356. Obama’s government killed the founder of Reddit.

    You know, despite all of our minor quibbles, I think this Obama fellow really has the potential to be someone special.

  357. MOM, PUPSTER’S STEALING FROM MESA’S FACECHIMP PAGE!

  358. Special. Yep, he is special.

  359. I’m sure the Redditors are blaming the GOP for the suicide.

  360. reporting in from occupied NYS stop

    don’t know how long connection will last stop

    became multiple count criminal this PM stop

    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Gun-Control-Assault-Weapons-Ban-Magazines-Limit-Cuomo-NY-186794151.html

    *goes to check knock at front door*

  361. Why would anyone watch Sportcenter twice in a row?

    Because that’s what geniuses do.

  362. Jam – The Chair Is Against The Wall.

  363. Interesting Leon – I wish I’d have thought to go to Reddit to read up to see their initial comments.

  364. HHD is ready for tomorrow.

  365. >> HHD is ready for tomorrow.

    I am a little sleepy though, oh wait.

  366. 13.5 hrs yesterday. 11 hous today. I have already worked more than a typical Govt leech works in a week.

  367. Well, yeah, Tushar, but I *am* part-time.

  368. Are you freezing your katookus, Dave?

  369. HA! Okay Dads: raise your hand if you’ve ever done this: http://i.imgur.com/HPZyn.gif

  370. Damn Roamy, why are you always around when I make these comments? You are NOT a ‘typical govt leech’.
    They are the ones who get paid for a 40 hours week, come in at 10.00, take a 2 hr lunch break and leave at 4.30.

  371. http://tinyurl.com/bju5s2k

  372. I’m teasing you, Tushar.

    I measured a bunch of samples from a radiation exposure test, delivered them back to my co-worker for the next round of abuse, crunched the data, wrote up the report, had a telecon about my next book, then had a 1.5 hour meeting with a bunch of managers on a project that promises to suck out my soul. Mostly a good day.

  373. katookus intact! But yeah, it’s friggin cold. Snow tomorrow

  374. *wonders what happened to tushy Tuesday*

    http://tinyurl.com/ywk5ar

  375. *tells Jam telepathically that this is what happened to TT*

    http://is.gd/EeY56c

  376. Oh, and I worked 2 hours over (thanks, boss, for scheduling the meeting after I’m supposed to leave to go pick up my daughter), but I have a dental appointment Thursday, so we’ll call it even.

  377. katookus intact!

    Yay!

    It sure has been cold enough to snow. Here at least.

  378. HA! Good job on the questions to Barry.

    Hey, dumbass, do you ever fear being exposed?

  379. I’ve been picking up shifts from co-workers that have Dr appts or their kids are sick.

  380. It actually snowed a little at home on Monday before I left.

  381. Dave, I’m not worried about the cold, I’m worried about the flooding. I drove around a barricade to get home.

  382. Did you catch some of these, Scott?

  383. Dang honey. Please to stay safes, thank you, me.

  384. i just had the weirdest sense of vu ja de ever:

    http://tinyurl.com/bghy7s3

  385. Nick Searcy was funny in the first 60 seconds tonight.

  386. Shut the fuck up, Vman. I don’t get to see it for another 3 hours!

  387. Did I reveal anything X?
    No I did not.

  388. this was kinda fun:

    From the end of that post…

  389. Laughing again at Searcy
    Heh

  390. I’ll be sure to send Nick a message that you enjoyed his performance tonight, V.

  391. In a few hours X you will too.

  392. Yeah, but Nick already knows I’ll enjoy his performance. I already told him we should kill off Raylan and just have Art Mullen kicking the shit out of people 44 minutes a week.

  393. catching up from earlier discussion:

    Losing my job was a great motivator when it came to learning how to do stuff I should have learned much earlier in life.

    About 3 months after I got let go, y brakes went. Because I was not exactly flush with cash, I decided “hell, I’ve rebuilt carbs, pulled engines and transmission out of cars, why the hell can’t I do my own brakes?”

    quick search on the internet and found out it is actually not that difficult. Replaced rear pads and rotors for around $130 total.

    WOO HOO! But damn, was I pissed that I have been paying other people to do that for so many years.

    About 6 months later, brakes on wiserbride’s Volvo need to be replaced. dealership quotes her $650!

    Ummm, no fucking way. $140 in parts and about an hour of my time and she’s got new pads and rotors. Done and done.

    I’ve now got all kinds of DIY stories like that.

  394. HA!

  395. You should do DIY videos on YouTube, wiser.

  396. since becoming a home owner, I’ve learned how to put down new flooring, replace walls and ceilings, run electricity, run copper pipes, replace all of my kitchen cabinets, install and repair any appliance in my house, even designed and built my own entertainment center.

    All the stuff my dad paid people to do.

    Thank God my FiL is a handyman. Learned a ton of stuff working by his side.

  397. I live on a ranch in broke ass New Mexico, everything is do-it-yourself.

  398. You should do DIY videos on YouTube, wiser.

    Actually, I do have one vid there….

  399. You should make acting school videos to show up Nick Searcy.

    Only make ‘em ‘playing clarinet in a community band’ videos.

  400. Suh-weet! I’ve bookmarked that for when I need instruction on how to start up my car.

  401. Good Job Wiser

  402. Only make ‘em ‘playing clarinet in a community band’ videos.

    heh heh heh.

    fuck you.

    Band director asked me if I would be willing to do the vocal part of The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

    I declined.

    I told him A) it’s too close to singing and I don’t sing and B) doing a cover at this point would destroy my career.

  403. I’ve bookmarked that for when I need instruction on how to start up my car.

    well, seeing as how you are a woman, my first suggestion to you would be to check your oil.

    Good Job Wiser

    heh. If you knew how many times I screwed up that carb rebuild before I got it right….

  404. this place needs a new poat.

    brb

  405. well, seeing as how you are a woman, my first suggestion to you would be to check your oil have a man start it for me.

    ftfy

  406. We have gone to YT on more than one occasion to repair our old fashioned top loading non-HE washer. I am soo going to cry when it finally become irreparable.

  407. Aaaand I’m thinkin’ a new poat won’t be needed.

  408. Wiser’s looking youtube for videos on how to poat on wordpress.

  409. NEWPOAT!!!


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