Happy Birthday CaRiN!

I hope your day starts off special. Maybe some breakfast? Eggs OK?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uDa_LOCQTAw/UJ6SjWKCBJI/AAAAAAAACEk/-1XKam8Mcxg/s1600/creative,photography,cool,food,fun,funny,breakfast-dba00ef7e91a044b5e541de617655698_h.jpg

Maybe a nice run after that. Watch out for that tree!

I heard your cow orkers got you a cake!

http://s3.media.squarespace.com/production/920827/11462743/_wGr8njEWjtI/SKMM5s0Kd_I/AAAAAAAAAQY/6pg12fUqXI0/s400/Ei%2Bharassment.JPG

So thoughtful. Have a great day!

L to R cArIn, H2

L to R
cArIn, H2

298 Comments

  1. BAM!

  2. YEA!!! I got a birfday poat!!!!

    Thanks Pup!

    Who’s the good dog? YOU’RE the good dog!

  3. That runner up there looks more like MJ, though.

  4. Happy birthday again, Car in.

  5. laura, I have to try bacon, because I can.

    Amazing Ribs guy doesn’t put enough spice in his rubs. I leave out the part where I use powdered habenero, kung pao, cayenne, and ghost peppers. It’s a little mix I keep in the freezer. It will definitely clear your sinuses.

    But his methods are spot on, except he cooks at too high of a temp for beef and pork.

  6. The hair and small boobs threw me.

  7. that looks like a friendly birthday slap on the butt, not a harassing one….
    oh, wait, i can’t make out the hand, or even wrist…

  8. I’m supposed to have the Christmas dinner menu decided today. Gotta choose between the sirloin roast and the prime rib. I’m leaning towards the prime rib with the 3 day aging on the smoker.

  9. Carin Happy Birthday!

    I hope your tips are bigger than Michelle’s ass!

  10. pellets ordered from that place scott recommended. Just gotta pick up the half round for the smoker piece.

    I left a question at ctbrc about that smoker pipe.

  11. Happy birthday, Car in.

    “December 4, 1680 Hen in Rome lays an egg imprinted with comet not seen until Dec 16th”

    Top that.

  12. Happy birthday, Car in!!!!!!

  13. Happy Birthday to Gnu!

    http://tinyurl.com/ckpg8zq

  14. Prime Rib James.

  15. Happy Happy Birthday Carin!!

    My present to you is that I will not sing for you.

    YAAAYYYY!!

  16. I had a woman FINISH a 16 oz prime rib the other night.

    It was … amazing.

    She was horrid.

    Not as horrid as a woman I had last night. OMG. Awful.

  17. really, my tables are supposed to sorta entertain me.

    Last night, one had me cracking up. But most of them sucked donkey balls.

    But I made good money.

    You take the good, you take the bad, you take it all …

  18. Just got around to reading posts from after we hit the sack last night – saw VMan’s questions, both of which I can answer:

    1) Deer Park is one city over from the one I grew up in. It’s been 30+ years since I’ve lived there, but we visit that area at least once a year. The petrochemical industry has always been good there, and there are lots of other industries in the area. (I will warn you, however, that the air stinks – you get used to it pretty quickly, though)

    2) I don’t know which company that might be in Fort Worth that you are looking at, but the zip code puts it quite close to our neck of the woods. If you come here for an interview, you are more than welcome to crash at our place – we’ll treat you to dinner, too!

  19. “She was horrid.”

    Tell us about the horrid ones.

  20. Did you get my gift yet, Car in?

  21. Carin, I was a busboy from age 16 to 19. I learned so much about human nature during those years. The realization that the amiable regulars yukking it up at the bar every night I worked were actually drunks; the priest who ate a prime rib and downed 6 heinekens every Sunday night (preaching is thirsty work); which waitresses shared tips fairly and on and on.

  22. Rage baby asked me to tell you:

    Happy Birthday Fuckface!

    Don’t worry, I punished him by taking away his iPad.

  23. HATTY BIRFDAY CARIN!!11!1!11!!!

  24. LOL –

    Ok. She orders “Steak and Shrimp”. I ask her which steak (sirloin on NYS) and she makes me wait about 2 min, while she sits with a frown on her face (she made that face the entire time she was there) while she went back and forth.

    As if this was the worst thing she had to do. Decide. She picks the sirloin, and I go ring it in, and the cooks start it (I could hear them fire it). She appears at the computer – and wants to switch.

    Ok. whatever. They ran me around all the while. She gets her New york, and about a third into it she tells me it’s too tough.

    @@@@@@@@@@@

    That she wants the sirloin.

    Because that’s what restaurants are for. To sample stuff, because that shit is all free for us.

    Ugh.

    Honestly, WTF is wrong with people.

    OH, and after she tells me she wants the sirloin, and I have the cooks start it, I tell her that it’s working etc, and go to greet the table next to their and SHE CALLS TO ME INTERRUPTING – “Did you tell them Medium?”

    No you fucking bitch, I’m too stupid to remember what fucking temperature you want your meat, since this is only the THIRD FUCKING STEAK I’ve ordered for you.

    ANd I’m not the stupid bitch who can’t tell one type of steak from another and has no clue to restaurant behavior.

    And for all this? $4 on $36.

  25. Waitresses are good in bed. Just sayin.

  26. Jimbro, any (legitimate) recommendations for a pinched nerve causing neck pain?

  27. a male dancer for cari n :
    http://tinyurl.com/coovf7c

    (no nudity)

  28. Did you get my gift yet, Car in?

    YEs, I’m trying to figure out where I’m going to display it.

  29. a male dancer for cari n :
    http://tinyurl.com/coovf7c

    (no nudity)

    *finger hovers over banning button

  30. MJ, needs to sick rage baby on your customer, Carin. That is horrid.

  31. In an addendum, our steaks are really good. We get specialty meat, etc, since although we’re a fish place, the owner mostly owns STEAK houses. We get it in and cut it ourselves, etc.

    yes, you’ll get an occasional touch piece – where the cook didn’t cut out a bad part, etc, but my manager checked this piece and it was FINE.

    Sunday night I did get a tough piece (a sirloin this time) and we took it off her check and the woman was as nice as can be.

  32. Would rage baby fit in my pocket?

    Last night we had a bunch of asshole /weirdo customers and a few of the waitresses were sorta raging.

    It’s actually kinda funny when we all get assholes.

    I had another guy kinda YELL at me yesterday and I wasn’t even his waitress.

    Wanted to know where his fucking beer was. (he didn’t say the f-word, but he was thinking it really loudly)

    I punched him right in the dick.

  33. *finger hovers over banning button

    hahahaaa!

    what..? it’s a present… to you….
    on your birthday….

  34. my cousin is a chef down in N.O.
    the stories are humorous.
    he rarely gets pissed off – but burning profit ticks him off.

    that lady cost you guys a bit…

  35. That lady knew it, too. Just to be a pain in the ass.

    I hate people like that.

  36. Luckily the cook was in a (really) good mood. He just recently came back from medical leave (something about his spine?) and he may have been on pain pills.

    He was sorta cracking me up.

  37. xbrad, cervical traction is a good conservative treatment. It’s not too hard to set up. You need a chin/occiput sling, a pulley and weights (3-5#). That being said, you can’t obviously walk around with it and if anyone takes a picture of you…well, just don’t let ‘em.

    http://www.ezywrap.com/images/Product/large/home-cervical-traction-kit-00791.jpg

    It looks funny but it does work.

  38. “I punched him right in the dick.”

    Thata girl!

  39. That lady knew it, too. Just to be a pain in the ass.

    I think unhappy, unpleasant people shouldn’t be allowed to eat at restaurants. Maybe McDonalds.

  40. Seeing a woman suck donkey ball would crack me up, but that’s just me I guess.

  41. They can eat at McDonalds. i don’t go there, so we won’t have any problems.

  42. HotBride’s staff was instructed to keep me away from the customers. There are some real assholes in the world, and no one should have to tolerate their bullshit. It should just be a rule. If you’re an asshole, waitresses should get to be rude to you.

    $4 on $36 – that right there is fucking bullshit.

  43. Oh, you want it medium? You’re not gonna change your mind on that too, like the last three steaks? Maybe you’d prefer it rare, since I’m shoving it up your ass. Won’t burn as much.

  44. Seeing a woman suck donkey ball would crack me up, but that’s just me I guess.

    Tijuana.

    Just sayin’.

  45. Ha

  46. I don’t like pissing off the waitress, or the cook. They are serving me food, and could just go to the bathroom and forget to wash their hands afterwards before bringing my salad.

    Spit is a real fear, too. Not everyone is adverse to doing that, as I never would.

  47. HotBride’s staff was instructed to keep me away from the customers.

    Did anyone ever wonder why you had to sit at the single table by the kitchen?

  48. They made me sit at the end of the bar by the kitchen.

  49. And how does the CT local rag decide to cover the guy who killed his father with an arrow and stabbed his father’s girlfriend?

    http://www.ctnow.com/news/connecticut/tolland/hc-wyoming-shooting-1202-20121201,0,4321810.story

    As if that even fucking matters. I’m sure this will not be used to justify altering the rights of all Americans, on the razor-sharp reasoning that some people are crazy.

  50. The worst thing I ever did was on a pizza delivery to a fraternity. It was 3am on a Saturday night. VEISHEA was on (college festival, you might have heard about the riots it has induced in past years at ISU), and we were just finishing up after closing at 2am. Yes, there were drunks around. it was a long night.

    Got to the TKE house (pronounced Teak), and Mr. Wonderful awaited me. He hadn’t ordered the pizza (he said), but he would get who it was for. So we waited.

    3:10 rolls around, no one there. Mr Wonderful (did I mention he was drunk?) is just chatting away, asking what I was gonna do with the pizza if no one showed up for it. He called on the intercom again for XXX. Kept asking if I would give him the pizza for free. Since this was in the days before cell phones, I had to sit and wait. And wait. And wait. With many people wandering in and out, asking if I had any free pizza (yes, I locked the car).

    At 3:15, I was going to leave. Mr Wonderful wasn’t going to let me out of the door with a pizza (I suspect it was his, and he was trying to get me to just give it to him). He blocked the door, and said “How about you just give it to me?”

    I said “5 bucks and it’s yours”. $20 order. He gave me the $5, and as he grabbed the pizza, I clapped the pizza and smashed the box between both hands. I put the $5 on top of the box, and walked around him and out the door.

    I’m lucky I didn’t get my butt kicked, but there wasn’t anyone in the hall besides my drunk buddy. Felt pretty good.

  51. That’s pretty great, Jay.

    Did you have to cover the pizza yourself?

  52. No, it wasn’t going to get sold anyway, and we had more than one “drunk order” that night. It’s just one of the things you deal with.

    Not an example for others to follow, but I wouldn’t have reprimanded anyone who did that in the same situation. One of the things you can get away with when you work at a place for a long time.

  53. The Dominoes guy took 31 minutes to get to my house last time so I set him on fire and banged his girlfriend.

    And stiffed him on the tip.

  54. The Dominoes guy took 31 minutes to get to my house last time so I set him on fire and banged his girlfriend.

    Well, at least you didn’t bang him and set his girlfriend on fire like that other time.

  55. Well, at least you didn’t bang him and set his girlfriend on fire like that other time.

    Practice makes perfect.

  56. Ha, people still hit us with that.

    It wasn’t here in 30 minutes, it’s free!

    No, that’s not us. And Dominoes doesn’t do that anymore, either.

  57. I think that story about the kid killing his dad with an arrow, stabbing the girlfriend, and then killing himself with a knife is clear evidence that gun control will lead to less murder.

  58. I’m sort of assuming that the left will overplay their hand, ignore the recent record levels of gun sales, and attempt to limit sales.

    They always stab themselves in the foot.

  59. They always stab themselves in the foot.

    Would that this were literal rather than figurative.

  60. Happy Birthday Car in.

  61. Some people can be cheap ass losers.

  62. I should head out to Lapeer and give Carin her birthday spanking.

  63. That pwning of Piers Morgan on gun control in 2 tweets is epic (as seen at the HQ).

  64. Right next to the word “muskets”.

  65. Happy Birthday Carin. Try not to kill anybody today.

  66. ‘Appy Birfday Car in! I baked you a cake too.

    http://i.imgur.com/b4qxd.jpg

  67. “Happy birthday, Car!” –Ann Althouse

    No, really: happy birthday! It sucks that you had to have Johnson as your first president, though.

  68. Thanks Teresa

  69. No, really: happy birthday! It sucks that you had to have Johnson as your first president, though.

    On the other hand, it prepares her for dealing with the aftermath of a Civil War. The one that is probably coming.

  70. *realizes Vmax didn’t mean Andrew Johnson*
    *decides it still fits anyway*

  71. Oh. That was Stark not Vmax. I guess I should really read comments shouldn’t I?

  72. It’s okay, Car (in) is 17 days younger than my wife, ergo not actually OLD old. Yet.

  73. Doo be doo be doo.

  74. Strangers in the Night?

  75. It doesn’t get much stranger than MJ.

  76. Bud Ice commercial, look out for the penguins.

  77. Did you ever find out if Starbuck was Load Heat?

  78. Global Warming Quiz: On 21 Dec 1967, Car in was ½ of my wife’s age. By 07 Jan 1968, Car in was ¾ of my wife’s age. On what date does Car in pass my wife in age?

  79. I believe the answer is orange, Dick Fuselage.

  80. Nope, J’ames. Looks like she never was. I’ll put it on the “to do” list.

  81. Happy Birthday, CaRIN!

  82. Cathy, missed you yesterday.

    How the hell are you?

  83. HI CATHY!!!!!!! ♥♥♥

  84. You’re welcome, VMan.

    I think you’d like either place – Deer Park is in a part of Texas that has weather closer to Florida climate (not and humid), and it’s close enough to water that you would probably like it a lot. It’s not the blue that you’re used to, though…..

    We’ve got lakes, etc. up here in landlocked North Texas – no hurricanes, but we do get the occasional twister (thought I”ve never actually seen one). More seasons up here, as well – mostly hot, really hot, and DAMN!!!!, with the occasional “freeze your tits off” week in the winter.

    Having grown up near Deer Park, I prefer the weather up here, but both places are equally hospitable. It’s Texas, after all :P

  85. Hi Cathy!

  86. Happy birthday suit, Car in! (For you, not me. Nobody wants to see that!)

  87. Is anybody else preparing for the end of the world next Wed.?

  88. I mean the 21st. Numbers are hard sometimes.

  89. Dammit! We’re gonna be travelling on the 21st.

    *makes note to pack Zombie Survival Guide in luggage*

  90. Just spent the morning in a crowded waiting room surrounded by ambulatory mental patients waiting to get their meds. If Obamacare makes it easier for these people to get their meds, helps them to take their meds, or forcibly applies their meds, I’m for that portion of the tax.

    I’m meeting with some folks in a City Health Department, their staff meeting went long, ergo me and 20-25 crazy people were hanging fire. It is ironic, because I almost used this picture in this poat:

    http://tinyurl.com/aaxrkrv

  91. After a while I started violently brushing at my shirt every 2-3 minutes, to keep the crazy off. I may have mumbled some obscure 1980′s metal lyrics, too.

    You don’t know.

  92. Can’t they administer meds from a distance? With a dart gun?

    Solutions!

  93. A U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat, rowing towards California.

    The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, “Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading?”

    One of the Mexicans stands up and shouts, “We are invading the United States!”

    The crew of the destroyer all start laughing and when the captain finally stops laughing, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, “Just the four of you?”

    The Mexican stands up again and shouts, “No, we’re the last four, the rest are already there!”

  94. That’s silly. If Mexico were empty, we could all just go down there…

    Wait, has anyone checked to make sure there are still Mexicans?

  95. Man, there’s that 21st of December date again. I hope it’s a Comet that kills me. Or a Vixen.

  96. We are all Mexicans, now.

  97. clint…good one, I’ve already stolen it and sent it to my friend

  98. If every NRA member marched to Mexico en masse…

    Nah, silly idea.

  99. Just invade while they’re taking their siesta.

    Hey, it worked at San Jacinto…..

  100. There was some stupid NatGeo program on last night that was suppose to be about the Mayan calendar and the possible coming Apocalypse. By the time I tuned it in, they already had gone to the climate “scientist” who was leading an expedition to a melting glacier in Chile that would reveal plants from 5200 years ago (the last time the Mayan calendar had the same roll-over event).

    He was blathering on about how that area had been a lush green region, and a sudden climate change event captured these plants, and that with global warming we were about to reproduce this event, only it will be worse this time because of the evil fossil fuels.

    The clueless reporter didn’t bother to ask how an area that is now a melting glacier was so much warmer 5000 years ago before fossil fuels/global warming…

  101. Better (well, warmer) climate, lots of oil, access to shipping and South American markets…

    If it weren’t run by socialists and drug cartels, Mexico could be pretty nice.

  102. Do they have Taco Bell down there?

  103. If it weren’t run by socialists and drug cartels,

    And full of vacationing ugly Americans (in certain spots, anyways)…

  104. clueless reporter

    Redundant for reporters not named Gary Taubes or Stacy McCain.

  105. I’m fine. Thanx. Missed y’all and this place. Catching up on the giggles now. Hugs.

  106. Here is the one follow up question I always ask when someone talks about climate change:

    ‘Can you explain it to me?’

    So far I’m 0 for 148,000.

    HI CATHTY!

  107. Greetings, diem carpers.

  108. Hi MJ! Climate change is all about emotions…mostly the emotions of guilt and shame. Fin.

  109. While I generally agree, there are exceptions, leon.

    Scott Brown’s wife. Gail Huff, was a reported on TV before he won election. She was good.

  110. AD, I make a lot of broad and offensive generalizations.

  111. ‘Greetings, diem carpers.’

    Hi Sean. Thanks!

    *mouth waters for smoked salmon and capers*stat!*

  112. AD, I make a lot of broad and offensive generalizations.

    He’s just mad cuz we poke fun at his tuckers.

  113. And howdy doo, Cathy. Nice to see you again.

  114. Cathy, didja hear that the TiFWs are getting a British son-in-law?
    Date TBA (they have to figure out the intricacies of immigration law).

  115. WOMEN’S HUMOROUS SEX

    My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, ‘This will make you happy tonight.’

    He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs & he couldn’t get back in.

  116. I’m mostly just saying that you don’t go to J school because you’re good at science.

  117. clueless reporter

    Redundant for reporters not named Gary Taubes or Stacy McCain.

    Hey, I don’t come down to where you work and untuck your dick.

  118. Eh heh. Eh heh heh heh.

  119. Hey, I don’t come down to where you work and untuck your dick.

    That wasn’t you? Crap. Who was that?

  120. Do you have a particular beat, Sean? Can you get assigned to global warmening?

  121. Unless gerbal werming gets busted for operating a marijuana growing operation, murders someone around here, or wins a seat on a local city council, I’m probably not covering it.

  122. News to me, TiFW. Congrats.

  123. Doin’ it wrong, Sean. All of that was caused by glowball whirring.

  124. http://i.imgur.com/gPoSH.jpg

  125. AD, I make a lot of broad and offensive generalizations.

    Which is why we like you

  126. It’s done all those things, Sean. Please keep up.

  127. And a “Nice to see you again!” to Cathy.

    You didn’t leave the door open and let Michael follow you in, did you?

  128. I continue to be pleased by frownycat in every guise. If that isn’t a distinct breed, it should be.

    American Curmudgeon, maybe?

  129. Ah, silly me. I stand corrected.

    Also, it’s very nice to see you, Cathy. In case you’re wondering, I’ve got 15 months.

  130. I LOVE GrumpyCat –

    Wow, Sean – time flies! Congrats again, sir ♥♥♥

  131. Here is the album from GC’s trip to New York. I guess he was on the Today show or something. Mrs. Grumpy Cat could use some eyebrow plucking tips from Dave.

    http://imgur.com/a/jsSNY

  132. That is a hell of a thing, Sean, good job.

  133. Happy Birthday Car in

  134. Whenever the chick who cuts my hair asks “do you want me to trim your eyebrows?” I know she really means “for the love of God man, let me mow those things back under control”.

    But she’s nice.

  135. Congrats, Sean.

    And I think you’re a helluva reporter.

  136. If I didn’t buzzcut my eyebrows weekly, they would take over the world.

    You would not want to live in that world.

  137. I set my face on fire roughly as often as my brows get unruly.

  138. Thanks, guys. Things tend to go a lot smoother when I get out of the driver’s seat.

    I have also had to start trimming my eyebrows over the last couple of years, lest I start looking like a hypnotist.

  139. You should just put Nair on the eyebrows. Takes care of the problem.

  140. *wonders if Nair works on ear hair*

  141. Just got this in my e-mail – The Piano Guys’ amazing version of “O Come, O Come Emmanuel”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ugV6QGcafEE#!

  142. L to R

    H2, Sean

    http://i.imgur.com/MQdSO.gif

  143. Pupster, I suggested that to a friend of mine.

    I may have neglected to mention that chemical depilatories tend to burn the shit out of sensitive skin. Sensitive, like for example, oh I don’t know, ears.

  144. I bet it sounds funny, too.

  145. http://i.imgur.com/C7Kto.gif

  146. I bet this hurt.

    http://img4.hostingpics.net/pics/948288374.gif

  147. Dave naired his nipples once. Once.

  148. Awwwww. Thanks, Puppeh.

  149. When I ask my woman to cut the hairs I can’t get around my ears she always tries to pull them out. Calls me a wimp who couldn’t pluck eyebrow hairs like she does. The ears must be more sensitive…must be….

  150. Happy Birthday, Carin!

    Jay, I’m seeing my avatar on your comments. How does that happen?

  151. I’ve been pulling and plucking by the roots for over 45 years. The instructor in my charm school (yes, I said charm school!!!!) was gentle but firm on the matter.

    Now I do epilady on my legs, underarms, and even brazilians. Helps if I have a glass of wine befor I get going.

  152. I think I need to sit down…and have a box of wine….

  153. I cornrow my ear hair. Mon.

  154. It’s true that Cathy went to charm school. She knows how to set a table! I just dump the silverware on top of a paper towel, in the general region of a plate.

  155. Just lucky, i guess, Michael.

  156. I was never all that good at charms. I have to stick to invocations and the making of talismans.

  157. I tried plucking a nose hair.

    Once.

    I ended up cuddling with a dog in the back corner of a closet while I recovered.

    Gentlemen, do not try this. Trust me.

  158. Just got a massage from a Chinese lady.

    No happy ending.

    **starts chant**

    “No Happy Ending, No Peace!!”

  159. God must give us wiimins higher pain tolerance… My OBGYN warned me that his other mothers told him that having a baby was like shitting a football. It was. I survived.

  160. How do they know what shitting a football feels like?

  161. Since the birth canal is being used for its intended purpose and the anus would not be — in these respective scenarios — I posit that the simile is strained for the benefit of women who make such claims.

    Besides, it’s Eve’s fault.

  162. Your mistake was in getting the massage from a lady, b-rad. Try a hooker next time.

  163. Xbrad. Have a baby with no drugs and use your imagination.
    *sheesh*

  164. I’m with XBrad. Unless you’ve rectally passed a football, it’s just wanton speculation.

  165. Happy Birthday, sweet Carin!

  166. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CARIN!!!!!!

    ♥ ♥ ♥

  167. >> I survived.

    Somebody funny, Carol Burnett I think, said “to understand childbirth, try to imagine pulling a pot roast through your nostril’>

  168. In fact, you’d have to have done both to really comment authoritatively.

    We should ask Rosetta.

  169. Ordered a pellet stove today.

    Screw you big oil!

  170. Also, try pulling your bottom lip over your head.

  171. Again, these are all just strained metaphors with no empirical justification until we can talk to someone who’s done both.

  172. Aggie’s was the Carol Burnett analogy that I have heard.

  173. Skip to 1:40 for a woman who knows how to have babies

    http://tinyurl.com/bkot93t

  174. Thanks everyone for the b-day wishes!

  175. Aggie!

    A&M should change their colors to black and blue in your honor.

  176. A&M should change their colors to black and blue in your honor.

    *looks at bruise*

    They are maroon now :D

  177. Pupster really enjoys going for a ride!!!

    http://tinyurl.com/b2udcg9

  178. It was 65 degrees as I drove home from the golf course today. I lurves me some global warming!

  179. Congrats on not dying for another year, Ca rin.

    On an unrelated note…

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/grumpy-cat-has-the-worst-monday-ever

  180. 60 here yesterday, but it’s been two days of solid rain and fog. Supposed to freeze overnight.

  181. It was 84 as I came home from the store.

  182. Shit that’s right, Burnett said “take your lower lip and pull it over your head”.

    I wonder who did the pot roast joke?

  183. xBrad – STFU. You live in the desert!

  184. I’m from the Joan Rivers School of Childbirth: “Knock me out when the first labor pain hits, and wake me up when the hairdresser arrives.”

  185. I think the lip thing was Bill Cosby.

  186. I wonder who did the pot roast joke?

    This guy in Texas.

    I think his name is Dave.

  187. On an unrelated note…
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/grumpy-cat-has-the-worst-monday-ever

    I love Grumpy Cat….. :P

  188. Well, MCPO, it’s quickly becoming overcast and temps are plummeting to the upper 70s.

    //grabs fleecy

  189. MJ is right. It was Bill Cosby relating a Carol Burnett quote.

  190. Cosby credits Carol Burnett when he tells that joke -

  191. From the greatest comedy routine of all time, Himself:

    Bill Cosby: Carol Burnett described what labor pains feel like. She said, “Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.”

  192. Dear Nate,

    You might want to quit being such an effete pussy. Because, guess what? Kids rebel against their parents when they grow up. And I’m guessing your daughter joins a white power biker gang if you keep this namby-pamby shit up.

    Sincerely,
    Reality

  193. Did you see Grumpy Cat has a younger brother, Pokey?

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/introducing-pokey-grumpy-cats-only-slightly-less

  194. Pokey is very photogenic.

  195. Dear Nate,

    I have 4 daughters. Three of them popped out of my womb loving everything pink and girly. The fourth one only wanted to play with dinosaurs, Tonka trucks, lizards, and snakes.

    Guess which one grew up to be a lesbian?

    Love,
    Teresa in Fort Worth

  196. That Cosby bit about childbirth is one of the funniest things ever. And yeah, I remember him crediting Burnett.

    Ok pot roast/nostril thing is mine now. It’s probably been in the public domain for 50 years.

  197. I like the one about the children needing their beatings before bed.

  198. Guess which one grew up to be a lesbian?

    2?

  199. >> Guess which one grew up to be a lesbian?

    Leon?

  200. I like the one about chocolate cake for breakfast.

  201. I should also tell Nate that when DD#1 was 4 years old, she insisted that we were in the “wrong aisle” at ToysRUs (I was looking for a toy for a friend’s son). “All of the girl toys are in the purple aisle, Mommy!”

    Now mind you, neither Mr. TiFW or I had ever referred to the Barbie shrine as “the purple aisle”, but she sure as heck knew which one it was.

    Many years later, Mr. TiFW was so excited when DD#3 wanted to go with him to Home Depot one Saturday morning – until they got there and she wanted him to take her to “the girls’ section”. He didn’t have a clue what she was talking about until she dragged him over to where all of the stoves and cabinets were on display.

    He came home a beaten man…..

  202. *singing*

    DAD IS GREAT!! GIVES US CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!

    Which coincidentally, I made today.

  203. “You’ve gotta be careful with eggs…..”

  204. Aggie, how are you feeling taking drugs? Wine? Hard stuff?

  205. IB, Valium, and wine. Not together. Yet :D

    Thanks, Cathy *smooch*

  206. Hi, Cathy! Missed your pretty avatar ’round these parts.

    Sorry your hurting Aggie, but thankful it wasn’t much worse.

    To anyone having or just having had surgery, get better soon.

    To those of you whining about current events, yeah, ain’t that a bitch, huh?

    To MJ.. *looks down and around*…. Hey, anyone seen Sprout? I’d hate to accidentally step on him

    As for the rest of you
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    meh

  207. http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/334599/deval-ued-wind-power-kevin-d-williamson

    This story warms my heart. My good friend from med school, a hardcore progressive, lives at the foot of the mountain where these windmills are located. I’ve heard years of sanctimonious lectures about how “green” their town was and complaints about the Texas Oilman formerly in the WH.

    HAHAHAHA, you rube!

  208. Wiserbud – About that order of onion rings. . . chop! chop!

  209. Thanks, Wiser :)

  210. Wiserbud – About that order of onion rings. . . chop! chop!

    Yes sir. Right away, sir.

    *spit

    Here you are, sir.

    Enjoy!

  211. {{{hugs}}}, Wiser.

    I don’t think you’re “meh” ♥♥♥

  212. SCOTUS unanimously spanks Barky’s ass:

    http://is.gd/AFNJl2

    (Why they couldn’t have done this with Obamatax, I’ll never understand)

  213. As for the rest of you
    .
    .
    .
    .
    meh

    *sticks out lower lip and stomps off thunderously*

    *slams bedroom door shut and blasts stereo*

  214. I don’t think you’re “meh” ♥♥♥

    awwwww…..

    *throws some gluten-free confetti towards Texas in an extremely flamboyant yet ultra-manly fashion, a la Rip Taylor

  215. *sticks out lower lip and stomps off thunderously*

    *slams bedroom door shut and blasts stereo*

    heh heh heh…

    I do so love when she gets all dramatic!1!1! and shit…..

    It’s almost as if wiserdaughter is still living at home….

  216. *slams bedroom door shut and blasts stereo*

    **hears http://youtu.be/0ufzu31d9nI

    Someone stop her.

  217. “Pandora Misses Targets, Shares Tumble ” (WSJ)

    Wasn’t this a topic here yesterday? As always, math wins.

  218. Duke University is calling their summer camp CRISIS. Yeah, I’m going to send my kid to CRISIS. Don’t care what the acronym stands for, is Rahm Emanuel running this crap?

  219. Ghetto bar.

  220. Pour me one, please, Hotspur, and a birfday one for Carin.

  221. Pandora shares tumble?

    So they sell shares in something that has no apparent revenue stream.

    Idiots buy the stock.

    PROFIT!!!!!

  222. *pours chardonnay for Roamie*

    *pours Jaegerbomb for Carin*

    Carin, come over here.

  223. Evenin’ All. ‘Sup?

  224. Revvy, bring us another round. Bring one for yourself if you’re old enough.

  225. Not a bunch, just finished dinner and now I’m deciding whether to watch crap on TV or start reading a book.

  226. I suddenly regret not being a part of the SS and not getting MJ:

    http://tinyurl.com/bje2fma

  227. Hi, Revvy!

  228. You’re not in Secret Santa?

    Carin sent me your name and address.

  229. Everybody got his name and address.

  230. I thought I was gonna get off cheap this year.

  231. My bacon package only had 3 strips left in it. The ratio of bacon to eggs for dinner was far from optimal. I don’t like to do lower than 1:4, and prefer 1:3, but it wasn’t to be. *sigh*

  232. Trashcan is out on the street. I have showered and am now in my jammies. You may continue with your regularly scheduled programming.

  233. Jammies?

    Do they have rocket ships on them, or ponies?

  234. Everybody got his name and address.

    This is gonna be the best Christmas EVAH!!!

  235. Are they going to make Brittney Griner get a sex change? He needs some tits.

  236. Happy birthday Car in!!!

  237. Rebecca’s having fun watching “Rango” using Amazon Prime; thanks to the new BR player, she can watch it on the big TV.

    America rocks.

  238. Hotspur – Star Wars motif. Luke, Han, Yoda and Darth Vader.

  239. *pours Jaegerbomb for Carin*

    Carin, come over her

    I haven’t allowed Jaeger to pass these lips since I was about 22 years old.

    I’ve got a great streak going. No sense in wrecking it.

  240. oh yeah, I forgot.

    HAPPY B-DAY CAR IN!!

  241. Wiserbud – About that order of onion rings. . . chop! chop!

    Yes sir. Right away, sir.

    There is an upcharge for O-rings.

  242. Everybody got his name and address.

    This is gonna be the best Christmas EVAH!!!

    Yea. We’ve got mare handling all the shipping, though …

  243. thanks for all the birthday wishes. YOu are the best fake internet friends ever.

    Xbrad even called me, but had the decency to call while I was at work and forbidden to answer the phone.

    I hearts xbrad.

  244. Hah!

  245. Jaeger is more like a grenade than a bomb.

    Plus it tastes awful. Ask Tushar.

    In other news, I know my SS victim and he/she will be so disappointed and I will laugh and laugh and laugh

  246. Wait….was the shipping fail Mare or PJM?

  247. Yea. We’ve got mare handling all the shipping, though …

    worst. christmas. ever.

  248. We sent an expensive antique to Italy through The USPS a couple weeks ago.

    It’s in Australia.

  249. Jaeger goes well with gin.

  250. My SS gift shipped out this afternoon. It’s on dry ice so open it quick when it arrives.

  251. I suddenly regret not being a part of the SS and not getting MJ:
    ———————
    Steal that from the Dentist’s office?

  252. Jaeger goes well with gin.

    heh, I first read that as “gun”

  253. >> We sent an expensive antique to Italy through The USPS a couple weeks ago.

    I first read that as “explosive”

  254. Hah! That’s silly. Everybody knows that guns go better with vodka and amphetamines.

  255. Steal that from the Dentist’s office?

    pediatrican.

  256. Never had Jaeger. I’m not a snob, it just hasn’t come up.

  257. Drink too much and it WILL come up!

  258. Is pinot noir salami on crackers a good dinner? Especially if I’m drinking mimosas?

  259. It comes up.

  260. Did anybody have serious doubts about anybody else’s research methodology today?

  261. Li’l bit, but I ultimately decided it was likely harmless and that I couldn’t offer a substantive critique, just vague unease.

  262. I suddenly regret not being a part of the SS and not getting MJ

    LEAVE MIDGET JEW ALONE!!!!!

  263. Is pinot noir salami on crackers a good dinner?

    Is it gluten-free?

  264. Dammit, now you woke up Rage Baby.

  265. Did anybody have serious doubts about anybody else’s research methodology today?

    Michael Mann’s been awfully quiet lately, so no.

  266. Nice try, Wiserbud!

    http://tinyurl.com/ar9kcno

  267. Is it gluten-free?

    Shit, wrong blog.

    *runs to H&B*

  268. pediatrican.
    ——————
    Back of a shifty plumber’s van?

  269. How are you doing Aggie?

  270. I am more sore and more rainbow-ey than yesterday, Scott.

    On the plus side, I am able to drive without freaking out :)

  271. I will wait for her to exit the van.

  272. Good to hear.

    The odds of it happening again are……close to zero.

  273. So what *is* pinot noir salami?

  274. ((((hugs)))) Aggie!!! ((((hugs)))) again!!!

  275. Mare opened a restaurant?

    http://www.pleated-jeans.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/svuprincess.jpg

  276. The odds of it happening again are……close to zero.

    She’s been pre-disastered….

  277. *hugs Osita*

    Pinot noir salami:

    http://www.columbussalame.com/products/specialty-salame/wine-salame-pinot-noir

    Mmmmmm…… good stuff…..

  278. Hotspur, when you enter the ghetto bar they:

    a. Greet you warmly like Norm on Cheers
    b. Say “Oh shit! Not you again.”
    c. Throw stuff.
    d. Call the vice squad.

  279. >> The odds of it happening again are……close to zero.

    Not to be a buzzkill, but the odds of it happening again are exactly the same as the odds of it happening the first time.

    Still pretty close to zero, though.

  280. e. all of the above

  281. Jeez, xBrad is tough on his paramours!

    http://tinyurl.com/cz2yk35

  282. >> you’re pre-disastered

    Once you’ve had a plane fly into your car that pretty much never happens again.

    I’m glad you’re ok hon. Sorry for the ouches.

  283. I’m glad you’re ok hon. Sorry for the ouches.

    Only thing that makes me cry is thinking about what would have happened had I had passengers.

    That, and onions.

  284. aww.. it’s ok hon.

  285. Gotta love Texas,

    Just talked to mom. My xmas list: 5.56rds, 30-30 rds, or a kel-tec shotgun.

  286. Howdy Phat!

  287. “Or”, Phat?

  288. Waiting for a call back from my brother (a Dallas Cop). The Kel tec has been out of stock in Illinois forever.

    Hopefully he can get one in Texas.

  289. When I asked my brother about shotguns at Thanksgiving (12 or 20 gauge?, pump or auto?(, he said to get them all when I could. Good advice I’d say.

  290. Look, at least with the wheelchair, she can use handicapped parking now.

    What?

    Like none of you guys ever wanted to poke a chick?

  291. I’d like to fondle the Kel-Tec RFB. I wish they’d produce more.

  292. Happy Birthday, Carin.

    Hey X-bard, as one who suffers occasionally from muscle spasms in the neck or back, my home remedy solutions are apply damp heat (sywm) and advil. If no relief, see a doc and get mussel relaxers – niiice.

    Hey Pups, have you been following the cfb coaching shuffle? Douchebret Bielema to Arky announced today. crazy.

  293. Okay, who was that just singing on the Victoria’s Secret show thingie? Liked his sound.

  294. Just talked to my bro in Texas, He will try to buy the list.

    5.56 and 30-30 probably won’t be an issue. The kel tec may be,

  295. HHD poat ready for 8:00 tomorrow, Roamy Crap Tree poat up over at XBrad’s. I don’t have jalapeno lights and guitars, but I do have bacon and Star Trek.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Comments RSS

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 97 other followers