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Asian people have killer tattoos.
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Chicks dig being chicks.
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Hair is pronounced HUR.
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White people are no fun.
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Gay people are snappy dressers!!!!!!!
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Important Post Update for PG (big homo). No caption needed.
432 Comments
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Huh?
Am I doing it right?
no
Lookout, MJ!! GLASS!!!!!
The ginger is kinda cute:
http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/23/bill-clinton-porn-stars/
Good morning peeps
It’s perfrect, MJ.
I can’t believe Russian spy Anna Chapman got away. She should have been held and…. vigorously interrogated:
http://tinyurl.com/6v6ey4o
For real, we had to brainstorm stereotypes, and these were kind of new to me.
Ok, off to the horse spit all. Need to get this shit done.
Rock and Roll, MJ.
It seems like I just read something or other about a study on diversity training and that all it actually does is successfully define the groups even more so than before the training, which was not a good thing.
Diversity training is stoopid. It should be changed to etiquette classes.
Hey this is what is expected of you in a professional setting. Dress code and behavior.
Covers it all.
Which fork to use, and the right course in which to use it; extending your pinkie just so when drinking tea…..
When we were at A&M, the dining hall folks actually came up with a fantastic thing for graduating seniors – a “fancy” dinner with all the bells and whistles so that they could all learn the proper way to eat at a formal/business dinner and not embarass themselves once they got out in the professional world.
The funny thing is, most people actually WANT to know stuff like that. They could care less about “diversity” training…..
Interestingly, this had very little to do with diversity in the traditional sense. It was more about being polite to coworkers, leadership, and respecting diversity of thought. I was very happy that it has evolved.
Creepy. I’m at the urgent care place and a very normal looking guy is staring at a bra ad in Redbook. Not looking. Staring.
Xbrad?
Teresa, that is not a bad idea, but I meant more ‘good manners’ in dealing with others which would cover ‘respect’ of other individuals in the professional setting.
You are grown up now and if you want to join our team and be seen as a professional, leave the ghetto, the mullet, the bedazzled, at home.
You will say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ and wait your turn to speak.
This is how we want our business to run, the atmosphere to be, and expect our people to behave. You don’t like it, don’t apply and/or go somewhere else.
MJ, if his pants are ‘tenting’, move to the other side of the room and be grateful he isn’t staring at you. Unless you like that sort of thing.
Unless he is there to leave a ‘specimen’. It could be part of his treatment SO QUIT JUDGING!
Phat?
http://tinyurl.com/7tg76ba
*quickly puts down redbook
I only read Ladies Home Journal at the Urgent Care.
Parent eagle, beats raccoon ass.
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/22813703/highlight/265709
Be glad he’s not staring at something in Boys Life.
Wahoo, new falling bear for your photoshop dreams.
http://tinyurl.com/87e5nuv
Its raining bears here in CO, gotta watch where you walk.
Maybe you have a diamond or emerald stuck in your foot. Make sure you get to have a look at it.
The whole “Diversity” initiative is nothing more than just another communist tactic, albeit somewhat an oblique one. Its unstated purpose is to take opportunity from the qualified and hand it to the unqualified and undeserving. Having suffered through corporate life at a large international headquarters operation, I can assure you it never added a damn thing to the bottom line of the enterprise.
Yep. There’s still stuff in there. I get a tetanus shot and PAIN and the bill. Yeah!!!
Where’s Car in? I thought she’d love to read this crap.
Did they dig it out, MJ? With a scalpel and some suction?
I had to take diversity training once. At the end the lady went around the room and asked everybody what they had learned.
Grumpy Me: Absolutely nothing. My folks taught me long ago to be nice to everybody.
Teresa, that is not a bad idea, but I meant more ‘good manners’ in dealing with others which would cover ‘respect’ of other individuals in the professional setting.
Oh, I wholeheartedly agree with you, Beasn – it is definitely something that a lot of kids today don’t seem to be learning at home.
Mr. TiFW’s sister attends a Mormon church near his hometown, and that seems to be something that her congregation tries to teach the younger kids – and they WANT to learn those kinds of things. Sort of a combo of Home Ec, Manners, Household Management, etc.
I don’t know if that is a “Mormon” thing or if it is unique to their congregation, but she really enjoys teaching those classes.
Jewstin, when I was called into the office because the dpt manager got pissed at me, I was told that ‘leadership takes time to master’ to defend her rudeness.
Um, no. Respect and good manners is taught and mastered in the home throughout childhood.
As much as I enjoy reading about the “glass-in-foot” saga, MJ, I was torn away by laundry and dishes.
*waiting to hear details of MJ’s pain and misfortune*
*readies the bowl of DumDums for his bravery*
*pulls out Transformer stickers in the event he likes those better*
Was MJ stomping on wine glasses or did he do something else foolish?
Did they give you some “good stuff” for the pain, MJ, or just the “Obamacare” standard wooden dowel to bite down on?
At least you didn’t get that doctor who amputates feet for fun and profit…..
Xbrad,
Damn right! I joined the ‘Chair Force’ for a reason. I don’t like ‘camping’ or whatever you Army guys call it and I prefer not to be in a metal tub for 6 months with hundreds of other men.
YMMV.
Teresa, we don’t know if he got that kind of doctor, yet.
Was MJ stomping on wine glasses or did he do something else foolish?
I think his wife was trying to kill him. She was probably hoping he’d man up and ignore the pain … and eventually be killed by an infection.
But he’s been crying about it for days.
*rummages around in medicine cabinet – pulls out battered box of Barbie band-aids from way in the back*
Lidocaine, needle, tweezers. He dug around for a while, but couldn’t get it so he numbed it.
Was MJ stomping on wine glasses or did he do something else foolish?
It all started with the bottle shoved up his rectum incident….and then glass travels…….
Good news in the household of Phatness.
After many years raising the kids and working harder at home than I did in the AF, Mrs. Phat is re-entering the workforce!
Just in time for me to retire. A life of leisure awaits!
I emailed a picture. YWIA.
He dug around for a while, but couldn’t get it so he numbed it.
So there were tears. I would have asked for the numbing first thing seeing as how your own digging didn’t get complete results.
If I were there, I’d take you for an ice cream and I mean that in a totally ‘I feel for you’ way.
Mrs. Phat is re-entering the workforce!
Just in time for me to retire. A life of leisure awaits!
*goes to H2 Amazon site, orders “Joy of Cooking” to be delivered to Phat’s house*
Chop, chop, sunshine – them eggs ain’t gonna scramble themselves…..
(Seriously, though – congrats to you and Mrs. Phat!)
A life of
leisurelaundry, toilet cleaning, yard work, painting, dishes, dinner making, awaitsfixt
Was MJ stomping on wine glasses or did he do something else foolish?
His wife ambushed him.
Thanks TiFW!
She got a job at the local YMCA as their events coordinator, which is right in her wheelhouse since she was a convention director before staying at home and has been a girl scout leader, book fair coordinator and all-around super mom since.
We have a huge Y, with two large facilities in town.
http://edwardsvilleymca.com/
Bonus: free family membership at the Y! We were dropping over $100 a month there between membership, spin classes and kid events.
Lidocaine, needle, tweezers. He dug around for a while, but couldn’t get it so he numbed it.
Maybe the doctor shouldn’t have taken the lidocaine before he started digging?
Thanks beasn.
srsly, though, those things suck.
I was SO glad when I got that thing out of my daughter’s foot. She was hobbling around … and had a soccer game the next day.
Yesterday – in another feat of “mommy-medicine” I removed a wart from her big toe. so. gross.
He dug around for a while, but couldn’t get it so he numbed it.
Anyone else’s feet curl up when they read that?
Poor MJ!
http://is.gd/pVS9JA
Next time you should just fly up to Michigan and let me take care of it.
I am totally experienced in these matters.
He dug around for a while, but couldn’t get it so he numbed it.
Honestly, though, he’s got a medical degree? I can dig around for a while.
Okay, this digging into flesh talk is giving me the willies.
*gives MJ a sticker and a likker flavored DumDum*
*gets out jack knife*
Git over here, MJ.
Next time you should just fly up to Michigan and let me take care of it.
I am totally experienced in these matters.
Car in’s medical bag:
http://is.gd/yvBicv
(Now we know why she REALLY buys those chickens…..
)
Kilt it again?
Or did everybody go to lunch?
(It’s only 10:45 here…..)
I was cruising the webbies. Now it’s time for a nap.
Or did everybody go to lunch?
I’m trying to work here.
Day off, just got back from the gym. Waiting on the plumber and paying bills. The usual.
And drinking early.
TiFW,
Maybe we talked about this before, but do you live in FW or one of the burbs?
I grew up in Grapevine and my mom still lives in Euless. Also, my little bro is a Cop over in Dallas.
Kilt it again?
Peej got a zit on her eyebrow and we’re on facebook trying to talk her off the ledge.
Worst Kids Show Ever:
Lilo and Snitches Get Stitches.
This blog sucks. It needs more PJM.
It had more PJM, but then she went and lost a bunch of weight.
*mails PJ a box of twinkies (not the gays) and an autographed picture of my butt.
You know, she’s available. With that sort of invitation, she may show up at your doorstep with all 9 of her children.
TiFW,
Maybe we talked about this before, but do you live in FW or one of the burbs?
I grew up in Grapevine and my mom still lives in Euless. Also, my little bro is a Cop over in Dallas.
Phat, we can see downtown from our house – we’re in one of the oldest (surviving) neighborhoods in FTW. I was born here, but grew up in the Houston area – we now live just a few blocks from the hospital I was born in! I guess we’re in what you’d call the “Medical District” – we’ve got 3 major hospitals within walking distance.
DD#1 and I used to do summer musicals in Euless – didn’t Janine Turner grow up there? I thought I saw her on Letterman years ago – she said that all of the kids at her high school used to call it “Useless, Texas”
If you’re ever in the area, let me know – we’d love to meet up and share a meal with you and yours!
(I think Oso grew up in Mesquite – I know one of her HS friends…)
Only 9? Did she lose a couple of them at the mall?
You know, she’s available. With that sort of invitation, she may show up at your doorstep with all 9 of her children.
5 died?
Thanks Theresa!
I will probably pop down to visit mom in the next month or so. I’ll let you know.
Peej got a zit on her eyebrow and we’re on facebook trying to talk her off the ledge.
Ahhh….I understand completely…..
Is she still out there, or did you manage to get her to come back inside?
Was it one of the windows with the goat fabric curtains?
I think after the separation, it came out that 5 of them were not her’s.
But I didn’t tell you guys that.
Phat, whereabouts in Dallas does your bro “walk the beat”? Hope it’s a nice area – some of the stuff we read about is hair-raising…..
The kid is a motorcycle cop for DART. They have some stations in pretty rough places.
PJM is separated!?
I’m writing a book.. possible titles….”Leon can’t keep up”
Grapevine actually has a wine festival every year, which I have attended. You wouldn’t think Texas makes decent wine, but it does.
As many as 15,000 Detroit streetlights use 1920s technology,
amazing
Uncle Jeff??? https://plus.google.com/u/0/103002075844443596313/posts/2jQ2Jwrbkca
I want baby pics!!!
If PJM jumps and kills herself, can I have the goat fabric curtains?
Just FedEx them to me.
If PJM jumps and kills herself, can I have the goat fabric curtains?
Just FedEx them to me.
Too late. I think she’s already cut them up and turned them into play-clothes for her chillens.
*drives sloooowly through poat in vintage, totally cherry AMC Pacer*
I wrote a bunch about “privilege” crap on google+ after my diversity training class, which was actually not that bad. I was very surprised when HR came out and admitted that they make hiring/promotion decisions based on race, age, and gender. I mean, we all know they do it, but to openly admit it? Wow. Also, I am curious about what exactly a “targeted disability” is. Should I be checking my back for a bulls-eye?
* laughs at lauraw using a pregnant roller skate like it is a car.
Also, I am curious about what exactly a “targeted disability” is. Should I be checking my back for a bulls-eye?
More likely — you are bulletproof.
But just to be safe, maybe you should start limping when you walk around the office.
I have a better idea. Lower the pay of the male staffers.
http://freebeacon.com/senate-dems-betray-lilly/
Good morning, Thuringians.
I think I’m coming down with carpal tunnel syndrome.
I was in city hall yesterday, and the number of women wearing those fucking braces is amazing.
from Maggie’s
News you (ladies) can use: 80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size, resulting in discomfort, floppiness, and sub-optimal appearance.
If any of you ladies needs help with this problem, let me know.
A cop pulls over a man and asks him if he had been drinking. the man replies friendly “No sir, I haven’t been drinking.”
The cop says “Ok, but I am still going to test you.”
Man “Sure…”
“Ok, first question: If you’re on the road and you see two lights coming directly toward you, what is it?”
“hmmm, that is definitely a car sir.”
Cop says : yes, but which one? BMW, Audi, Mercedes or…?”
“Sir, I can’t know that…”
Cop: “Just what I thought, you’re drunk. Ok next question. If you’re on the road and you see only one light coming towards you, what is that?”
Man says “that is definitely a motorcycle sir.”
“Yes but which? a Kawasaki, Yamaha or maybe a Honda?”
“But sir, I can’t know that…”
Cop says “yep, definitely drunk.”
A bit angry, the man says “Ok sir, let me ask you a question.”
“Ok go on.”
“You’re on the road and next to you on the street you see someone wearing a fishnet and high heels, what is that?”
“That’s definitely a hooker” the cop replies.
The man replies “You’re right, but which one? Your wife, daughter or your mom?”
If any of you ladies needs help with this problem, let me know.
I’m willing to help out, if the line gets too long.
This is the right size:
http://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/new1.jpg
I was in city hall yesterday, and the number of women wearing those fucking braces is amazing.
Not in city hall. You’re paying a small fortune in taxes for them to have those braces, plus ergonomic keyboards, mice, probably a special chair, a specially mounted monitor, and Dr. Grip pens and pencils for their desk.
Oh, and they only have to do about a half a job since they have a doctor’s note and they probably belong to the SEIU.
People pulled that shit all the time when I worked for Social Services.
Nice car foxy lady!
*pulls comb out of back pocket and feathers hair
MJ, I didn’t detect any messicans in this poat. It is incomplete. I’d update it but I’m a fucking moron and don’t know how to throw pictures and shit into a poat. I tried once and fucked it up.
Everybody knows that all Mexicans do is celebrate cuatro de cinque every day & they’re all so damned lazy they’ll only do jobs American’s won’t do.
I’m writing a book.. possible titles….”Leon can’t keep up”
When people only talk on facebutt, they exclude those of us outside their evil hippie collectivist paradigm.
Spicy…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ-q-DGcpAw
I think she’s already cut them up and turned them into play-clothes for her chillens.
Next you’ll be telling me that they are singing in the Festival competition…..
This is the right size:
http://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/new1.jpg
*looks down*
I must be doin’ it wrong….
This post has been updated like a mofo for pendejo grande.
I don’t think that guy in the update is Messican. He doesn’t look drunk.
He’s stoned out of his gourd-o. It’s why he has on the sunglasses-o.
I figured he was just hung over.
Good afternoon, freaks and geeks! Did anyone else shoot an 83 today?
I shot an 84. He was looking at me funny.
If by “83″ you mean “old man” and “shoot” you mean “ran over as he was crossing the street,” then…
S-o-o-o-o-o, what is the topic de jour? Rosetta being allowed to use the couch in the ladies room for his afternoon nap?
Hey chief. I’m fighting with people over at another blog. They are predicting a Romney landslide, and I say it will probably be close.
What say you?
Also getting a shot into a wound on the bottom of your foot is mildly uncomfortable.
MJ – 52 – 48 Romney. And that is based on a massive GOTV effort on the part of the Republicans. Never underestimate the greed of the entitlement crowd and their socialist allies.
I think Utah will be a landslide for Romney. The rest I’m less sure of.
Good call, chief.
MJ, did you get a note from the doctor, telling Mrs. MJ that you are allowed to put your foot on the coffee table/couch this evening?
Does she also know that she’s gonna hafta carry you to bed tonight?
(Shouldn’t be too hard, since you’re “fun-sized” and all that…..
)
Having not met Mr. MJ, I’m picturing him as a Hobbit.
Does she also know that she’s gonna hafta carry you to bed tonight?
———————
She does this for me every night. Mostly she pulls out a dresser drawer and I sleep in there so she doesn’t roll over and crush me in the middle of the night.
I laughed my ass off at the training session during one of the team challenge things. It was tailor made for people of small stature. The leader looked at me and said, “you’re the smallest guy here. You go first.” I died laughing, but of course, no one was in on the joke.
I still remember standing on a footstool in my kitchen one day and saying, “Oh, so THIS is how the rest of the world sees things!”
Who knew you could actually see stuff all the way in the back of the upper kitchen cabinets?
Teresa, you should have seen the look on my face when I realized other people could easily see the top of my fridge. Not. Good.
*Picks up MJ, set him on top of my wicked cool vintage Pacer*
*GASP!* Best. Hood ornament. Ever.
*aims camera*
OK, pose like a Jaguar now. Try to be Fierce.
RAWWWWWWWRRRRRR!
HAHAHAHA! Miss Laura is feisty after her little VaCa!
Teresa, you should have seen the look on my face when I realized other people could easily see the top of my fridge. Not. Good.
Lemme guess:
http://is.gd/7AEskE
OK, pose like a Jaguar now. Try to be Fierce.
http://is.gd/d7v6r3
hahahaha!
Chills. I got chills.
Even better:
http://is.gd/7XiTwj
Out of sight. Out of mind. Out of the cleaning and dusting schedule.
Oh noes!
Hang in there, Doc.
http://tinyurl.com/ck4vjn9
Click the link, damnit!
http://curmudgeonlyskeptical.blogspot.com/2012/05/1968-teacher-unions-2012.html
Just how many pics do you have like that last one, Teresa?
* asks with one raised eyebrow
Just how many pics do you have like that last one, Teresa?
What happens in St. Louis, stays in St. Louis…..
1st nine minutes of the local news and TWO Obama campaign commercials!
There’s your problem right there.
*throws out rope, repels down Pacer.
I really like the mural on the hood.
Out of sight. Out of mind. Out of the cleaning and dusting schedule.
A-yep.
Rappels.
/Hotspur
MJ, today was my first day training for a tri. Biked 10 miles after my p90 x.
How did it go?
Carin – Mr. #1 son has decided to forego the marathon and do they half marathon instead. He’s just not getting enough sleep to train the way he wants.
MJ, are you saying in your Diversity Training post that you were told there is a stereotype that Asians were hornytoads?
I thought hornytoads were Portuguese.
Loved the finish of this …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfRya-P4ffk&feature=related
It was ok. I don’t know what kind of time i should be aiming for.
That is wise, Grampa. It’s not JUST the sleep issue – who wants to devote THAT much time to themselves (and their training) when there’s a baby to play with?
I only did ten miles, and it was pretty challenging, but I was trying to go as fast as I could.
Fitness killed it? Who would have thought?
That, and that they have great tattoos. Some of the stereotypes were pretty funny. I had never heard them before.
The exercise was actually pretty interesting. Everyone got two cards with a word or phrase on them, such as ‘lazy, entitled, big lips, corrupt, good at math, gullible, etc’ and each person had to write the words from the cards under a category such as ‘white male, AA, woman, Asian, Hispanic, young people, and old people,’ on big sheets of paper hung on the walls.
Then the white males were asked to leave the room and the remaining people wrote down every stereotype they could think of. Not what they believe, but what is out there in society. Then the AAs, women, and so on.
Then when all groups were done, the white males would stand in front of everyone else, within a few feet of them so you had to look directly at them, and the words were read. Then AA, women—you get the point.
There was only one Hispanic girl in the group, and she cried a lot when the stereotypes were read. To his credit, one guy went and stood with her. Then everyone got it, and stood with her as well.
The point was to see the person as an individual, rather than part of a group.
I only did ten miles, and it was pretty challenging, but I was trying to go as fast as I could.
————————–
Sounds like fun. My favorite hobby has always been biking.
CVS sells white duct tape.
Window unit AC installation looks much more professional.
Crying Hispanic Girl Trickery.
You should ask for your money back.
Eh. It’s ok. I like running more, because biking doesn’t give me any sort of high.
dude.
Do you have toe clips Car in?
Obama ate a dog.
And so did crazy bear, but we’ve forgiven her.
Obama? Not so much.
Toe clips are for fags.
LOL.
I barely have a BIKE.
Yeah, sorry. That probably should have been an email. My bigger point is that generally these things are liberal love fests. Much of the message was decidedly not liberal.
But that doesn’t mean stereotypes aren’t goddam hilarious.
They make a big difference.
You also get to work more muscles.
I have a pretty nice road bike and a pretty nice mountain bike, both of which could use some loving by a trained professional.
I used the stupid bike at the gym today.
I’ll have to consider that later. I used to have some sort of funky straps for my road bike.
all things to consider, I guess.
Don’t need the fancy cleat ones. The old fashioned ones that will work on running shoes are just fine.
Yea, I don’t want funky shoes. I’m a runner. Not a biker. I’m just doing this because my husband won’t let me do the Tough Mudder.
Huge difference. You can pull and push.
my husband won’t let me do the Tough Mudder.
—————
WTFITS?
Meh, had it been an email, you’d probably not have found $20. Then again… Reply All!
Yea, I know, right? He put his foot down. Afraid I’ll get “hurt”.
@@
So he suggested this. Ok. Whatever.
If Mr Car in drinks, I’ll get him to agree to it at Lapeerpalooza. Between beer 4-8 there’s a pretty good window to get shit agreed to.
*thinks fondly of big boy head ‘borrowed’ from Flint, MI big boy statue
Does scott exist or is he one of laura’s sock puppets? I’ve heard he does, but I don’t believe anything wiser or wiserbud says.
The point was to see the person as an individual, rather than part of a group.
I would have been laughing my ass off the entire time.
I do not respond well to being told what to think and feel.
Does scott exist or is he one of laura’s sock puppets?
It’s… complicated.
HI! Hi! HI! *runs through blog headed to salon for more blonde*
Speaking of complicated.
Sohoooooooosssss
RAIN.
How do air conditioners get heavier every year?
I still have some head-problems to sort out when it comes to race. Some unfortunate stuff I experienced when living in kind of a crappy urban area that doesn’t shake loose so easily.
That’s life. I chip away at it, when I meet new people.
Scott is real, if you believe in him.
It’s nice here now. It was way too hot to run earlier.
I want to believe, lauraw.
The alternative is just so very sad.
He doesn’t really drink MJ.
I have pictures.
Grainy, blurry, inconclusive pictures
Oh, well. This was always a job for Cyn anyway.
“He doesn’t really drink MJ.”
Even better.
Ha. He doesn’t have a chance against Cyn.
I kinda thought that Scott was grainy, blurry, and inconclusive when I saw him. I always wondered, though, if that was because of the magnificent glean from Laura’s freshly shaved-and-waxed hump or the number of cocktails that had been consumed. It’s all a mystery really.
Scott is real, if you believe in him.
I think we need a ruling from Mrs. Cuffy…..
I just realized that that was almost two years ago now. Where the hell has time gone?!
Was STL last year?
No shit. If that happens 5 more times…..I’ll be 60!
STL was last year. TX was two years ago. AZ was two years ago.
So where are these horny Asians I’ve been hearing about?
STL never happened. You dreamed it all MJ.
I forget, am I taller than MiJit?
I forget, am I taller than MiJit?
You aren’t, but no one points it out, because you might benchpress them.
No kidding. I’m going grey.
I think we should quit kidding MJ about his height, and give him a booster seat so he can sit with the grown ups.
I just got done “Facetiming” with the kids and the grandbaby. #1 son and the Lovely Julia are calling her, “The Mouse” or “Mouse”. Hoping that nickname doesn’t stick!
I have 3 grey hairs in my beard. We’ll never know if there are any on my head.
I have a few gray hairs.
STL never happened. You dreamed it all MJ.
Especially the part about me and a ginormous black dildo.
We don’t really remember how tall he was, Leon. He was under a table drunk most of the time.
MCPO, my nickname in high school was Mouse.
Really? They look kind of blondish. Kind of thin, though.
I have no gray, thank goodness, only strands of platinum-silver, TYVM.
Especially the part about me and a ginormous black dildo.
————————-
We’d all forget if you’d stop brining it up with such obvious pride.
Whiners. I’m already at about 50% white hair.
I see those thunder boomers over MJ’s house
They are not moving this way.
Can you plug in a fan MJ?
Comment by MJ on May 24, 2012 7:34 pm
Really? They look kind of blondish. Kind of thin, though
******
Poor dear was so drunk.
That was Dave.
So there really wasn’t a lesbian bartender at STL that got fired for having too much fun and hitting on all the Hostagettes?
Cut my hair yesterday with the #1 guide. At this point, it doesn’t matter what color it is.
I used to use a trimmer. Razor’s quicker.
Leon – No shit, but Herself dislikes the shaved head. . . doesn’t mind the #1 buzz cut though. You figure it out, ’cause I damned sure cannot!
No, she got fired because she was high as a fucking kite.
After a week or two, a shave becomes a #1 anyhow.
In any event, my sympathies. I already had a shaved head when I met Mrs. Caruthers, so she’s never said boo about it.
MCPO, it’s because it feels fuzzy. I don’t use a blade guard, but guys love to rub my head after I shave.
HotBride hates my hair short.
She says I should grow it out like it was before. (Like in my last marriage.) I say “No, it might make you cheat on me.”
I think order was probably:
High
Drunk
Fired
Slutty
Barf
guys love to rub my head after I shave.
Back when I was single, enticing a woman into rubbing my fuzzy head was shockingly easy. It was much harder to interest them in the other one.
Where did wiserbud fit into that list?
Between slutty and barf.
He has been scarce of late.
I think that Wiser and Rosetta eloped.
I think he hangs out at H3 with PJM and Rosetta.
I was going to skip dinner, but my tummy’s rumbly.
Pork tenderloin consumption imminent.
Lead off homerun on Verlander.
*fuckashitpiss*
Grilled porkchops and a salad here. . . with a glass of water.
Grilled pork, asparagus.
Porkulus
made the chili a bit too hot
tenderloin, sweet ‘tater, iced tea with lemon
made the chili a bit too hot
I don’t understand.
Ribeye, green beans wrapped in bacon, rum and coke.
Pupster wins.
MJ is bigger than me.
*party pooper*
Don’t fuck up your rum with Cock.
Pupster gets booze?!
I’M TELLING MOM!!!
…than I.
STL never happened. You dreamed it all MJ.
*pssst, Car in – you still have all of the negatives, right?*
MJ, you might wanna bring some extra cash to Lapeerapalooza, just in case.
I’m just sayin’…..
…than I.
*runs to other side of blog, to avoid getting in the way of Beasn’s mighty Hulk fist*
Leftover pizza, and whiskey.
Whiskey with pizza? Not even on a cheat day.
Whiskey or whisky?
Currie Chicken and rice
Cheap Canadian blended rot-gut.
I’m old and poor.
Did anybody kill anybody else’s partner one day before they were set to retire today?
No worries Teresa, I’m like a ninja.
Can you come over here and help me remove my fist out of Hotspur’s poon? It’s wedged in there.
Since we’re selling the inn tomorrow, HotBride brought down a fuckton of booze last week.
I think I saw a bottle of B&B. She’s due in in about 45 minutes.
Winning!
Yep, I let him get to “I’m getting too old for this-” before I offed him so he wouldn’t swear with his dying words.
And pizza.
Did you get a good price, Hotspur?
Bad day. Trying to be good but hard to not have a drink. Or two.
No. They got the mine. We got the shaft.
I just wanted my bride back.
Can you come over here and help me remove my fist out of Hotspur’s poon? It’s wedged in there.
I’d suggest just leaving it there and buying a new one.(after all, you DO know where that one has been)
I’m sure MJ could be
blackmailedconvinced to pay for a new one…..That sucks, sorry to hear it.
Thanks, leon.
It was a learning experience.
I hate learning.
I’d suggest just leaving it there and buying a new one.
Ew, yeah, good idea.
*punches learning in the poon*
Pull this fist out of my ass and punch it again.
Not my ass, learning.
Yea, learning sucks. So does Obama.
Learning is for fags.
Do people on coke crave dog? Cause Obama looks like he’s been on a bender and I think he had a little piece of dog stuck in his teeth.
Pull this fist out of my ass and punch it again.
—————————–
HOF.
Obama only does a little blow when he can afford it.
It’s a tough time to sell anything.
He snorts it off of Michele’s ass. It takes 3 GPS units and 2 drones for him to find it.
Maybe a few kids in HS smoked pot, but blow? The few kids that mentioned it disappeared.
Who would even afford blow in HS? Some days you’re stealing coin from the bottom of you mom’s purse for gas money.
Maybe a few kids in HS smoked pot, but blow? The few kids that mentioned it disappeared.
I’m sure they all ended up at places like Occidental, Columbia, and Harvard. Though it might be hard to confirm any of that, from what I’ve heard.
He snorts it off of
MicheleAxelrod’s ass. It takes 3 GPS units and 2 drones for him to find it.Fixt.
It’s worth noting that Robin Williams would never have been famous without cocaine.
“Suck Mary Lou, suck! Blow is only a figure of speech!”
– Dreams from My Father’s Shithouse Ca-RAAAZY Girlfriend
If you like your drug dealer, you can keep your drug dealer.
When I was in HS, people talked about “speed” (meth or dextroamphetamine/dexamphetamine) as in “The vein you cut may be your own.”
Very few went there, lots of pot, but few did speed. The casualties of speed were WAY too high. A few took “the little white pills”, fewer still shot it. They did not last long.
It seems to be WAY too popular, now.
Coke was hardly heard of. Crack was unknown, but this was the ’60s. None of us had enough money to develop a coke habit.
This was in a ‘technical’ HS that had treasury agents prowling around to find-out who was minting coins in the foundry and printing money and vehicle-titles in the graphic-arts shop.
They were printing Oregon titles for motorcycles stolen off the docks in the shipping crates.
It was a great school! I learned a lot!
What if I don’t currently have a drug dealer? I’ll bet that I have to get one of those crappy government ones. I want to choose my own, dammit!
Cyn,
You can get one from “The Exchange”. There will be one in every state!
Woo Hoo!
Speed n’ weed were all very readily available in my HS. I might have tried some of it.
I got two decent blu-rays for less than $20. I’m pretty pleased with myself.
Celebratory dinner for Mrs. Phat’s new job. Dewey’s Pizza.
If you live in STL (or also in OH) do yourself a favor and check it out. Best crust ever! The ‘Green Lantern’ is my fave, but I may have to change it if DC Comics outs him as the gay superhero:(. I was REALLY hoping for Wonder Woman.
http://www.deweyspizza.com/
Never touched drugs. This worked out in my favor when the time came to get a real job.
Are you shitten’ me? Connect-The-Cut people, is this really happening in your state? Do you not have concealed-carry? WTF,O?
American Muslims who are disheartened by increasingly fervent attacks on sharia law are planning to assemble en masse this weekend to protest against what they fear are attempts to discriminate against their way of life.
This weekend, 15,000 believers are expected to descent(sic) upon Hartford, Connecticut, for the 37th annual Islamic Circle of North America (ICNA) convention.
I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you!!!111ty
Put them all on the no-fly list.
Chief, I got my mom a blu-ray boxed set of Coen Brothers movies–Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, Miller’s Crossing, and Fargo–for Mother’s Day for just under $25. I lurves me some Amazon.
Ugh, Really smoky from a forest fire. This sucks.
Congrats to Mrs. Phat!
ChrisP,
I live in one of the two states without Concealed Carry. The Chicago machine won’t allow it. It would make their town more dangerous. For their constituents, the criminals.
I wasn’t cool enough to do drugs in HS.
Leon,
There were a bunch of young men in my A&P classes that thought smoking a little weed was cool. They did not realize that they could NOT work in aviation, or any facet of the transportation industry, and do drugs.
Sucks to be them…
I tried acid once but I didn’t inhale it.
They do suck, Pepe. I have put off a biz trip for one fire and cannot get up to my mom’s place for a quickie retreat due to a second fire.
Smokey The Bear never said shit about lightning.
Zone out time.
Silly Dave; you shoot acid.
We had some bad days from the big fires last year. Hopefully we’ll get some rain and it will put them out. 40 mph winds didn’t help today.
I snorted coke once………..almost drowned!
Pepe – Booooooo!
Weed, acid, ‘shrooms, and ecstasy–all in college. After ’98, lots and lots of booze. And now, I’m off to a meeting.
Try to say no to drugs while I’m gone.
Make it a great one, Seany.
Never tried ecstacy, but I did try some coke after my first year in college. It really does come with a smile.
*glances around, sees I’m alone, ponders whether to run or stroll through blog in the nude*
I’ve never even been drunk….
*goes and stands in the “Nerd” corner*
Boy, you guys are a bunch of druggies. The hardest drug I ever had was Tylenol 3. After surgery when I was 8, good stuff.
>> Silly Dave; you shoot acid.
Where were you when I needed you?
*decides to sprint*
Rebecca just announced that it is time to go to bed, so Nytol –
Sweet dreams!
I smoked my share of weed. Opium once, but it was the worst thing ever.
Where were you when I needed you?
Kindergarten
Phat,
My CCW is good until 1/17/2017. Washington is a ‘shall issue’ state. One of our few concessions. Oddly enough, there has not been a “Blood Bath”, but there have been a few righteous self-defense shootings.
Coonass Jewstin,
The ONLY time I smoked opium was on guard duty. Oddly enough, I don’t remember what duty-station I was at.
I wonder why that is…
It’s a beautiful spring day in the PNW, and it makes me regret selling the helicopter, and screwing my back, to the point that I can’t ride the Ducati.
So it goes…
>> Kindergarten
Oh you dirty little whore.
Dammit Dave!
I was owning the comments!
You Whore!!!
The only thing I remember about opium is a lot of purple fog, and clinging to my chair because I felt like I was going to fall of the planet.
ChrisP. Every state that has issued CCW has seen a reduction in crime.
IL is Greece waiting to happen here in the US. Well, it’s between us and CA to see who defaults first.
The sad thing is the rest of the state is sane, it’s just the idiots around Chicago that are the majority of the population and make us a Blue state.
Who you callin’ a whore, Whore?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFl7f7UmbRY
Phat,
I’m right there with you. When the goblins have no idea about who might be armed, they are a little more cautious.
The way it should be. What kind of society would deny its members the ability to fight back?
http://videosift.com/video/Denny-Crane-on-Gun-Control
*smooches Cynnabuns* I am forgetting to rest eye, Daniel-san.
Time to do that. Also, I started seeing stuff that was far away today. Made out things like trees, cars.. people even.
Okay, This was the greatest call I ever heard on the scanner!
” Information: Tiger sighting, 36th and Gay Road East.”
I’m like, WTF,O?
http://tinyurl.com/cfaksje
Chrispy, is that the Pyuallup tiger?
Worst trip ever?
Robotussin. I had a bad ass case of bronchitis. Slammed about a bottle of that stuff. The pink elephants made an early appearance.
Did I mention this was on a live fire range and I had an automatic weapon?
I’m alone here. Never mind.
Goodnight America, wherever you are!
I bid you adeau…
Art,
Yeah, The Puyallup tiger. Nobody knows nothin’.
I mean, I can see Bellevue, but Puyallup? How gauche.
I played ping pong inside a VW van rolling around on Whidbey Island. I think it flipped 3x and there were no seat belts.
I saw Tigers Stars Comets Cyn and Elephants in tutus.
Puyallup Tiger? Wasn’t MJ near there recently? Hmmmm.
Timing.
I just got off work and I bet MJ has gone to bed. How will I ever find out Hispanic Women stereotypes now?
X,
Have you ever mentioned the CL Nashville on your blog?
I am reading a book on her. I will submit a review for your blog for you to use or trash as required. I am about 1/2 way through so give me a day or 2.
I knew it was you Tiger Chick!
HAHA! Like a boss, Vmax.
MJ loves getting phone calls at night, Oso. Go ahead and give him a jiggle-jingle.
I wonder if MJs Diversity Training covered Hoosiers and Mormons?
Oh, that would have been just rich, Oso. Hahaha!
*Flashes nipples at Cyn.*
I am hungry, which is hard to believe as I ate about 3 lbs of food at a nearby messican restaurant earlier tonight.
*is instantaneously blinded by the brightness like a supernova that is CB’s white chest*
GAAAHHHH!
Hey, cyn, it’s not that white. There are at least 12 or 13 chest hairs that haven’t turned white yet, so there’s that.
I feel bad to be rooting for forest fires. If Smokey the bear was always just “Smokey Bear”, why did we sing the song “Smokey the Bear”? (My grandfather was present when Smokey was rescued)
Oso
I grew up in Ohio, Hoosiers, Pennsylvanians, Kentuckians and Canucks were mocked. None more that Hillbilly’s from WV.
Here in Fl,
Ga Alabamastan and Mississippians are also mocked. Mostly Mississippians. Cubans and Bahamians not so much.
If a bunch of us lived closer together we could all go out for pie in an emergency situation such as i’m experiencing right now.
We had pizza here for dinner and we’ve all ended up noshing right before bed.
Hungry Hungry Hippos–ACTIVATE!
I try to be fair so I mock every ethnic/social/state group I can think of.
I like pie.
Village Inn has some reeeeally good pies too.
Vman, my Dad was a Buckeye. I grew up hearing about hillbillies and ridge runners. Buckeyes ignore Indiana. I had to marry a guy whose Mom is from STL to start hearing the Hoosier slurs. Casual conversation throwaways.
AMC is has been running a bit of a Dirty Hairy marathon lately. I forgot how kick ass those movies are.
I haven’t found a pie yet that doesn’t spike my sugar. (low hanging fruit for pervs)
Cyn, when I lived in Des Moines, that was one of our good choices for pies.
CB, we bought the Dirty Harry collection a few years ago on DVD. I love them!!!
We used to have Heidi Pie and Marie Callenders. Now we just have Village Inn.
This invisible internet chocolate pie with coo-whip on top will not alter your sugar one single bit. Oh, and it’s calorie free.
But this was usually our first choice if it wasn’t so busy we couldn’t get in:
http://www.bakerssquarerestaurants.com/
OMG Marie Callenders…
…and her pot pies, fresh at the restaurant, 2 die 4. All closed now.
Oso, I watched The Death Pool tonight and I recorded the original Dirty Harry to watch tomorrow.
Yes Clint.
What state are you in? Never mind it is too far from me.
I just pulled that restaurant up, CB… they are the Village Inns here in AZ.
Oso, can you not just eat a huge chunk of cheddar cheese to offset the sugar in the pie?
*changes channel to AMC*
Sorry, V, haven’t really done a lot of ship histories. And there were a buttload of Brooklyn class CLs. Damn near all of them served honorably, but few did anything outstanding.
Having said that, the USS Montpelier came up in conversation tonight.
I live in Kansas now, Vman.
CB, usually the protein+carb thing works for me but I haven’t had success with fruit pies or Chocolate fudge pop tarts. Lauraw told me about gingersnaps and sharp cheddar and nom nom
You moved from where, CB?
I have to watch my carb/protein balance, Oso. I always try to offset too many carbs with “too many” proteins and things seem to balance out fine for the most part.
CB, I was more of a Charles Bronson girl but my hubby loves Eastwood. We have quite a few of them on DVD.
Before Kansas, Cyn, I was in Des Moines. Before that in Farmland, IN. Before that is several cities/towns in Kentucky.
Kansas!
X
Nashville was involved in every major battle of WWII.
Atlantic, Pacific, Alaska, Australia, and much more.
I will email you when done.
Thank You.
IMO, cheddar cheese, peanut butter and/or mixed nuts can overcome almost any no no health issue I’ve foisted upon myself.
A midwest boy, through and through. Hawt!
CB, there are certain foods that spike me no matter what. I avoid them. There are certain alcoholic beverages that act the same way.
I am out.
Goodnight my friends. and Dave.
G’night, Vman!
Watch out CB!
The Great Tiger Chick is Stalking!
Please do email me, Vman.
Nighty dreams Vman.
And just you hush your mouth.
Vman, I do not mind it when Cyn is stalking me. Not.One.Little.Bit. Grrrrr.
XB, you have made me a Duffelblog addict!!! The guys at RU linked them too but I saw yours first!
Rawr
I think Ima havin’ a hotflash now.
OK, we have the tiger and the bear, who’s our lion?
Oh my!
Oso, I have no idea what RU is, but I’m glad (if a little surprised) that you learnt it from me first.
And how come you never comment at my place?
Our lion… hmmm… should be someone with a big roar… and great hair.
OK, we have the tiger and the bear, who’s our lion?
Those jeans don’t make your ass look fat.
Okay, I gotta go to bed now. I plan on having award winning dreams tonight, so all of you should too. Bubba Bye.
Sweetest of dreams, CB. Thank you for flying the H2 Red Eye flight. Bub-bye now!
XB, RU is Ranger Up. I’m still more lurker than commenter. GN, CB.
Ah! RU! I rarely visit. I mean, I’m not a Ranger. I watched the guys going through “city” week when I was at Ft. Benning. It was like Basic on steroids. No thanks. I was damn good at my job, and could hack it. But why volunteer to be miserable?
…who’s our lion?
Those jeans don’t make your ass look fat.
Heh.
How YOU doin’, Cynnabuns?
I like RUs tees and their stories at the Rhino Den. I like their vids on FB too. Funny guys. Not as funneh as Justin at the duffel blog though.
I’m good, Xbrad, but suddenly whipped. Seems like it’s been a terribly long day.
Hugs to you both, but it’s dream time for me. See you cool kids in the morn.
nighty night, cynabuns!
Do a little derp
Make a little love
Get down tonight.
G’night dead poat. G’night Sean.
G’night crazybear. G’night John-Boy.
Sick cat eats baby food. Still won’t eat cat food.
Good morning.
Bob Dylan turned 71 yesterday.
Wakey wakey.
I’m sure the baby food tastes better than cat food. I’d certainly choose it.
Who you callin’ a whore, Whore?
Obviously we all miss Mare.
Pot, in college. Didn’t really do much for me. Tried it several times- over the course of a few years. Just could never develop an affinity for it.
My boys seems to think that pot MUST be awesome (well, Matt does) because so many kids do it. I’ve esplained that sometimes kids just do things because everyone else is doing it.
Like I did.
I’m sure some enjoyed it. But I’m betting there are people out there like me too.
My mom claims a similar disappointment.
Tried it several times
——————-
Had to be sure it sucked?
I had to try beer a few time to acquire a taste for it. That was probably a mistake.
It’s FuckitAllFriday™!
I tried it several thousand times, same thing.
I’m wearing shorts and sandals to work. Only going to be a handful of people there, as it’s an off Friday prior to Memorial Day weekend.
I was kind of serious about that original comment that kicked off the drug discussion. Obama looked very, very rattled when he was delivering a speech about how he hasn’t been on a spending binge. It was obvious that HE didn’t believe it. Can’t find the clip…
I just saw it a little bit ago on Fox. He looks like a teenage me claiming that I totally didn’t take the car to Berrien Springs to hang out with a couple chicks last night.
Work time again.
Work time again
AGAIN? man.
Tried it several times
——————-
Had to be sure it sucked?
I didn’t get anything out of it physically, but it was edgy, etc. I’ve always been extremely straight laced, so this was really … wild for me. I mean .. it was {whisphers} illegal!!!
That’s prolly why I did it.
I was kind of serious about that original comment that kicked off the drug discussion. Obama looked very, very rattled when he was delivering a speech about how
He was very tired. This working thing is really wearing him out. White House dossier had a piece out yesterday about how TIRED he seems.
Poor dear. He really needs a vacation.
He’s such a SCOAMF.
Can’t he just eat his doffle?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=drzq1x0mqjo
Good morning cool kids
Obama looked very, very rattled when he was delivering a speech about how he hasn’t been on a spending binge.
All anybody has to do is look back at all the “Obama Pushes Stimulus” stories and videos from 2009. It’s a ridiculous lie. He was pushing and pushing for it. There is no way to reframe this.
Remember he said how he was getting flak about too much spending, and he mocked his detractors with “That’s what stimulus IS!” to a round of laughter from his fellators. He can’t back out now and say he never wanted all this spending.
God, this guy is such a piece of shit.
Also, it passed without a single Republican vote!! And they’re going to blame Bush for it?? GTFOOH
Subscribes to Laura’s newsletter
“That’s what stimulus IS!” to a round of laughter from his fellators.
Someone should put together all his smarmy soundbites as one big collection so everyone can see what an asshole he is.
“This isn’t politics. It’s MATH” [smug look]
He’s got a bunch of these assholish one-liners, mocking – usually – half the nation.
We’ve always been at war with Eastasia.
Poor dear. He really needs a vacation.
Saw your poat on that over at your blog – spot on!
*Gives Teresa a gluten-free muffin *
Your jib, Laura? I like the cut of it.
Morning, douches and gorgeous women!
I’d really love to see the clip that you’re all talking about.
OK, I see that MJ has a BBF poat on deck, but it hasn’t been scheduled yet, so I just tossed a filler poat up.
MJ can push it down like a red-headed stepchild whenever he wants to -
*bites into muffin*
Mmks mmr mm mmfffnn mmCCmmrrmmnn!
Good morning to all of you too! Rawr.
Reading this and getting chills: http://patterico.com/2012/05/25/convicted-bomber-brett-kimberlin-neal-rauhauser-ron-brynaert-and-their-campaign-of-political-terrorism
Wow Birther swarm in the comments
http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/article/obama-rubio-birthers-should-read-law/562051
That Patterico post is mind-boggling. Pure evil.