BBF – Crack Whore Barbie Edition

I would rather suck face with Nancy Pelosi’s underpants than revisit this week. On to the music, shall we? I wrote this song for DWS’s fist. Right after I forced her to donkey punch her nether region.

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This week’s model is a young beauty that originally hails from the Check (fuck you and your fancy spellin’) Republic. Now a Brit, she is in he twenties and can’t seem to keep from looking sick, confused, or high as flippin’ kite. Please welcome some deranged chick with big knockers.

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Test time! Please form an orderly line and pick up your No 2 pencil and a Scantron form. MCPO, please just pick up a hammer, chisel, and a black piece of granite.

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98 – Trajan becomes Roman Emperor after the death of Nerva.

661 – The Rashidun Caliphate ends with death of Ali.

1606 – Gunpowder Plot: The trial of Guy Fawkes and other conspirators begins, ending with their execution on January 31.

1776 – American Revolutionary War: Henry Knox’s “noble train of artillery” arrives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

1785 – The University of Georgia is founded, the first public university in the United States.

1870 – The Kappa Alpha Theta fraternity is founded at DePauw University.

1939 – First flight of the Lockheed P-38 Lightning.

1951 – Nuclear testing at the Nevada Test Site begins with a one-kiloton bomb dropped on Frenchman Flat.
1961 – Soviet submarine S-80 sinks with all hands lost.

1967 – Astronauts Gus Grissom, Edward White and Roger Chaffee are killed in a fire during a test of their Apollo 1 spacecraft at the Kennedy Space Center, Florida.

1984 – Pop singer Michael Jackson suffers second degree burns to his scalp during the filming of a Pepsi commercial in the Shrine Auditorium.

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And there you have it. One fucked up, Check-Brit. I’ll be busy doing nothing this weekend. You should stop by. We’ll put a few steaks on the grill and talk smack about everyone. Bring beer. Bring good beer.

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