I saw this video not too long ago when Andy linked it and wondered if I knew this guy. Thank God, no. The original video is hilarious all on its own.
But this…I’m laughing so hard I’m crying here:
Yes; I know.
You’re welcome.
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Lightning fast, Baby!
*
?
!
**
Well crude. I have to go wash the dog. Stupid grass allergies. BBL.
I think you found the new Charlie the Unicorn.
The problem is I didn’t know anyone was actively looking for it.
*borrows lauraw’s knife, cuts self*
This is awesome with awesome sauce.
From last thread: She has no waist, but nobody’s perfect.
Dang, you’re right. It’s freaky! Fraud!!!!111!
It appears she has a great ass, though. Brazilian women generally do.
*makes plans to prevent husband from ever going to Brazil*
Did ya’ll read where CERN has possibly broken the speed of light?
I worked in Brazil from 1998 to 2006, a month or two at a time.
im so glad i decided not to kill myself today
*pours Dave a Brahma chopp and a caipirinha*
http://fwd4.me/0CG9
If I was an asshole I would remind you that Wanda Sykes said this at the White House Correspondence Dinner in 2009: “Rush Limbaugh, ‘I hope the country fails’ — I hope his kidneys fail, how about that?”
and then I would link this:
http://tinyurl.com/426fjwd
But I’m not an asshole so I won’t do that.
Rosetta, what color pig-dog drool are you wearing RIGHT NOW?
Pig-dog is taking a nap next to me at this very moment.
He is drooling mulch-colored slobber on the chair.
What are you up to today, Law Bitch?
>> *pours Dave a Brahma chopp and a caipirinha*
Oh my God you know the beer and drinky thing!
I love you.
One week away from the gym doesn’t seem to have translated into significant strength loss. Might not have been any, but I went light to keep from hurting myself.
Q: Mr. Liberal, why do you believe that Obama has been an effective President who deserves another term in office?
A: http://tinyurl.com/3so4f5c
I’m waiting for my guest to show up. . . I should probably have a beer.
By guest do you mean cable guy?
After lunch, we drop the boys off at my in-laws and the Mrs. and I celebrate 17 years of her not killing me in my sleep.
Probably go to the last day of the Puyallup Fair (do the Puyallup) and then to a movie.
Those extra shelves for my top-shelf stupid will have to wait.
A caipirinha sounds really fucking good right now.
Guess what I get to do later? Drive 30 minutes to drop Henry off at my sister-in-law’s, then drive 1 hour 20 minutes to a STUPID WEDDING, then drive 1 hour 20 minutes to pick up Henry and then drive 30 minutes home.
Fucking awesome.
By guest do you mean hooker?
Good God, UM is annihilating SDSU.
Winning season, but it’s hardly fair.
I about died on my run. 9 miles is along farking distance.
Especially w/o a cheering crowd giving me gatoraid and jello shots every half mile.
Weddings are great.
You know, that part where they ask if anyone objects, and you get to stand up and say “I do. (fill in bride’s name here), I can’t live without the way you sucked my cock last night. Don’t marry Mr. Three inches there.”
Yeah.
Good Times, Good Times.
Happy Anniversary, BiW.
Are you two going to hire a bunch of hookers?
Take Henry to the wedding. What could go wrong?
By guest do you mean meth dealer?
Are you two going to hire a bunch of hookers?
Why the hell would I pay someone to get sex when I’m not getting any?
You need to quit drinking breakfast.
Did ya’ll read where CERN has possibly broken the speed of light?
——————————–
CERN is anti-science. First they fucked with global warming, now their screwing with relativity. Why can’t they just accept what everyone else tells them?
By guest do you mean
methGeritol dealer?FIFY
BiW, if you pay them, they have sex with you. So, like, they have sex, but so do you.
True facts.
I about died on my run. 9 miles is along farking distance.
———————————
Nice job. I’ll have a jello shot for you.
Preacher: Does anyone here object to the union of this man and this woman?
Rosetta: This is the worst way to spend a fall Saturday EVER!!!
Man, after long runs I … don’t feel good. Cold. kind sick. it was like this after the crim too. I think I need to take something when I finish … gatoraid or something. I’m reading around, and apparently it’s kinda common.
Nice job. I’ll have a jello shot for you.
I bet that will help.
Car in, that’s because distance running is bad for you.
By guest do you mean the guy that played Oliver in the Brady Bunch?
I think I need to take something when I finish … gatoraid or something.
———————————
I sometimes take this:
http://www.nuun.com/
Rosetta: This is the worst way to spend a fall Saturday EVER!!!
That fall Saturday was a lesson in how much can go wrong with having a plan.
Yeah, well, if they didn’t threaten to sue over CatDander…
By guest do you mean Chaz Bono?
Once I attended two weddings on the same day.
They both had the reception at the same freaking place.
Leave wedding reception, change clothes, go to wedding.
That was the worst day of my life.
Sox! How did you get away from the Rottweiler?
Yeah, well try to spend the rest of your life trying to find the LoopHoles where you got Tags and Title to Xbrad….
Oh my God you know the beer and drinky thing!
I love you.
Sure I do, honey pie — 2 of my closest friends since age 14 grew up in Sao Paulo and I’ve been down there a few times. Not like you, but it’s just a fascinating country.
Love the people, love the food and especially love the drinks!
Once I attended two weddings on the same day.
They both had the reception at the same freaking place.
Leave wedding reception, change clothes, go to wedding.
That was the worst day of my life.
Nobody said bigamy was easy.
Once I attended two weddings on the same day.
They both had the reception at the same freaking place.
Leave wedding reception, change clothes, go to wedding.
That was the worst day of my life.
I can’t believe you didn’t kill yourself.
By guest I mean 19 y/o redheaded hooker and two 8 balls.
How are you, cat?!?
Now, see, there is a Ray of SunShine right there….
And Rosetta, Feather Boa’s don’t go with Pastel colored Studded Leather Bustier’s in a Wedding….
By guest do you mean a nude Janet Reno?
By guest do you mean Rascal mechanic?
By guest do you mean a nude Janet Reno?
No.
http://fwd4.me/0CGC
It wasn’t easy. By the time he had got dressed up like Snoopy, and Loaded the MachineGuns in the Flying DogHouse, I had done run outta gas…
That damn Obama and his gas lines…
Just fixin’ to pack up for Morgan City La. No Brazil tin 21 Nov. Return to the U.S. is an unknown at that point. God Bless the Family, Sir/Madam!!!
By guest do you mean Christopher Guest?
I’ve seen Faye Reagan in some roles that would interest XBrad.
Assuming he hasn’t seen them
***Prays Ms Cyn has more of the I.V. Dramamine and Codine left***
Just fixin’ to pack up for Morgan City La. No Brazil tin 21 Nov. Return to the U.S. is an unknown at that point. God Bless the Family, Sir/Madam!!!
Save travels and thanks, amigo!
HAHAHAHAHA!!
on teh road
Don’t pick up any stray armadillas, DiT.
Look, Leon, he has the the Janet Napolitano/Janet Reno SexTape in DVD as well as Blu-Ray….
O.K. well, the DVD is a Pirate Copy from Wiser but, still…
*makes another entry in the “Shit I Never Wanted To Know” file*
By guest do you mean Christopher Guest?
Hey, Rosetta. . .
http://fwd4.me/0CGE
Faye Reagan=Good
Janet Reno= Stab eyeballs out.
**tackles Lipstick**
**gives her the “Hairball formula catfood”**
BiW – Where are you taking the Mrs. for your anniversary?
Later, Y’all!
Dave, thanks for setting me straight on the illegal/tuition deal.
Nice job, Goober!
What are you doing today C3MCPO?
Be safe, Sox!
Dammit Sox, Get back here!
Hey, is this poat fatter than usual?
Ohai Rosetta.
Mare, did YOU run your 9 miles today?
No, but I did an hour S.E.T. workout.
Sweat like Rosetta coming down from a bender weekend.
MJ – Right now I’m drinking a beer and waiting for my son to get here.
No, but I did an hour S.E.T. workout.
Sausage Eclair Taco
That’s great. I hope you guys have a great visit.
No, but I did an hour S.E.T. workout.
Senior Energy Tango
Supple Esophagus Training.
MJ – He is a wonderful young man*. I am extremely proud of him.
*He was a pain in the ass as a teen.
By son do you mean Reverend Son Myung Moon?
Squeekhole Entry Training
Strength and Endurance Training.
BiW – Where are you taking the Mrs. for your anniversary?
Rosetta, how’s the little man?
Slut Eating Tranny
Rosetta, how’s the little man?
MJ? Fine, I guess.
*He was a pain in the ass as a teen.
————————————–
Aren’t all kids?
No, but I did an hour S.E.T. workout.
Well, that’s good too.
MJ, give mare a jelly shot.
Shit Eating Tubby
Aren’t all kids?
No. They made me a trustee.
By son do you mean Chaz Bono?
BiW, I would like about 10 scones if you don’t mind. Waiting an hour in line won’t cramp your style will it?
BTW, Car in, didn’t we recently read that beer is an excellent choice for rehydration after a long run…
Holy shit!
http://tinyurl.com/3hhnvu2
Mare, how about a salmon, dill, and cream cheese peroshke instead?
MJ, give mare a jelly shot.
—————————
You’re not the boss of me.
*Packs Coach doggy travel bag.
Man! You suck at PhotoShop!
L to R: gravity, Mare
http://tinyurl.com/3jtb8mv
**tackles Lipstick**
**gives her the “Hairball formula catfood”**
Ha, right as I was reading that — at the very second — I let out a huge burp.
SPEED OF LIGHT PEOPLE!!!!
(Watching the entire season 2 of The Big Bang Theory…)
OMG! Is homecoming tonight Car in?
Catman – If true, can the Warp drive be far behind?
Lips, you’re so classy!
BiW that would be great.
Really.. The nerds a CERN have seen the neutrino exceed the speed of light. If really true.. it ALL changes. Einstein will be their Bitch!
Lips, you’re so classy!
Ah, thanks. Here, pull my finger.
Catman, I’m with you on the significance of the nuetrino dealio.
But the big question is, did they really see what they thought they saw?
“Ah, thanks. Here, pull my finger.”
HA!
Yes MJ, tonight is homecoming. I just helped him finish getting dressed (SYWM – i ironed his shirt and tied his tie). Now he’s pacing around the house because HE’s ready, but she’s not. I just took some pictures.
Sure, Lips, you keep waiting for me to pull that finger.
That’s Mr. Lipstick’s job.
I’m just here because I have a foot fetish.
TW, Car in, didn’t we recently read that beer is an excellent choice for rehydration after a long run…
It is, but I have a long day still ahead of me.
Now he’s pacing around the house because HE’s ready, but she’s not.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Get used to it kid!
Special Relativity has an unbelievable number of lab experiment confirmations. If they’ve really found evidence or superluminal information movement, it’s got to be a very, very special case. Worth noting: it implies that there are real circumstances where effect would precede cause. That’s icky.
That’s what I told him, chief.
This is CERN.. They spent three YEARS looking at it and the various data before releasing it. Now they really just want replication. They know it isn’t a fuck up in the data They just want to know if there is a fundamental flaw with their equipment so replication is the key..
Yes MJ, tonight is homecoming.
——————–
Car date? Uh oh.
I’m more nervous by the fact that he’s DRIVING a car. He’s to call me when he’s reached every destination. He just got his license Monday. He had football all week, so he’s taken the car ONCE by himself.
I’m nervous.
And his girlfriend is a good girl. SYWM.
Car in – That nervousness will go away once he is about 30.
He just left and I’m already a nervous wreck.
CRAP. This is horrible.
I wrecked my Mom’s car on prom night.. Hope that makes you feel better Carin..
(’80 Town Car with a 72 Vista Wagon.. Just like the ‘Dance of the Hippos’)
Now is a good time to rehydrate, Car in.
Or at least have Laura do it for you.
He’ll be fine. If he’s smart he’ll realize that playing it safe the first time will lead to a second time. Then he can be bad.
Ok, I put a picture of him on my facechimp anyone who wants to see.
You could have kept that to yourself, catman. Really. less sharing.
Do I have to join facechump?
Yea, Lauraw needs to start drinking for me NOW.
Yes, Leon. I dunno actually. I suck at face chimp.
Wonder where he’ll get the beer?
Just think of the valuable lessons he will learn when making that “Mom, I wrecked the car!” phone call..
No sweat, he will be fine.. You raised him and his family loves and supports him.. All will be well!
Carin, my prediction is that he’ll be fine. He’s a good boy, she’s a good girl and he won’t be tempted to show off or anything.
My guess is that he’ll be extra careful in order not to make mistakes that would make him look bad.
I hope so Lippy (ignoring Hotspur and Catman) … I gave him a lot of – go slow, be conservative … talk before he left. and all day.
I’m refraining from openly hoping she’s not that good of a girl, for his sake, because if it were my son, I’d want him to be abstaining, not earning high-fives.
I’m grateful for your restraint, Leon.I know how difficult this must be.
Leon, what are you saying?
Okay, I had to read it three times. i was getting mixed messages.
I think he’s saying he doesn’t want him to get lucky.
Afternoon, Hostagefolkseseses.
*hold out hand*
*demands Leon’s mancard*
If he were my bro, I’d be hoping he scored. He’s my friend’s son, so i hope he doesn’t, at least not yet. I’m conflicted.
Wonder what time he’ll be rounding third?
where’s the “ignore” buttton on this blog?
Oh good, Sky didn’t get hit by a falling satellite.
What is it that the kids into these days?
Oh yeah. Angel dust laced horse tranquilizers.
I just got a follow on Twitter by someone named @cumswallowers
I wore a hard hat all day yesterday, leon, just in case.
Is his date Chaz Bono?
Pu-leese guys, don’t make Carin think of stupid things that are not going to happen.
Oh, he’ll get a kiss…..
Don’t you have a wedding to go to?
Hotspur, I’m already living vicariously through my brothers-in-law, I don’t have to root for Carin’s boy.
My wife’s younger brothers both have smokin’ hot girlfriends.
I’ll take “Hotspur and Young Laotian Boys” for $500, Alex.
“Chaz Bono”
What is the funniest answer to any question, Alex?
*ding ding*
Ian doesn’t do nuthing wrong, except he could work harder on his grades. And go running with me.
He doesn’t drink, smoke, chew, etc. Good boy. My OTHER son I have to keep an eye on. He doesn’t currently do any of that stuff, but I worry more about him.
I’m off to be social with real-life people. Y’all be good now. Or bad, so long as you document it as a lesson to others.
Hey, it was a chick.
Well, it was a photo of a chick.
I think you’re always supposed to worry about the youngest kid.
They’re the ones that always turn out to be Jager-swilling sons of bitches.
Hi, Sky!
Ian’s gonna score. Cuz him mom has NO IDEA what he’s up to.
I’ve gotta get dinner started. Sigh. busy night.
‘Ello, Mare!
That cloud thing at Ace’s is creepy.
If we had one here the biggest word would be Chaz Bono.
Naw, xbrad. He’s homeschooled. Just going to school and having friends was enough of a thrill. He didn’t need to add drinking and shit to make life more exciting.
I’m not saying he’ll always be good, but right now he is. My other son? As I said, I worry about HIM.
Ian’s got the benefit of a girlfriend who has goals and shit; goals that don’t include a baby before she graduates from college.
Don’t you have a wedding to go to?
What don’t you shut the hell up?
Here is a partial list of things that I would rather do than go to this wedding:
(A) Eat dirt
(B) Change Henry’s dirty diaper with my feet
(C) Express Floyd’s glands
(D) Sleep in an iron maiden
(E) Shave a wet llama
Will you share pictures with us tomorrow from the wedding?
that would be so cool.
If we had one here the biggest word would be Chaz Bono.
It’s big boned!
(F) Dance with Chaz Bono
G) get a hicky from Chaz bono?
The thing that is interesting, about Chaz, is that she wasn’t ever very attractive woman, but she/he’s even worse as a man. I mean, who would have thought?
G) get a hicky from Chaz bono?
Um. I think I need to go take a shower to get that mental picture out of my head.
I just Binged Chaz Bono. Ewwww….. What.The.Fuck.Is.Wrong.Witchoo?
a shower to cool down? It’s ok, Sky, You’re among friends here.
Here’s a picture from the wedding.
http://tinyurl.com/3rly53v
a shower to cool down? It’s ok, Sky, You’re among friends here.
Yeah. The idea of Chaz Bono giving Rosetta a hicky makes me so horny.
/sarc
Shhhhhyeah…403 Forbidden.
You pervert.
If you need help scrubbing your back in the shower, Sky…. I’m here for you.
xbrad, I see you and your sister need to pick more fruit:
http://tinyurl.com/44rxsdf
Sky, don’t make me kick your ass.
I wonder what effect ObamaCare will have on hospital fruit output.
If you need help scrubbing your back in the shower, Sky…. I’m here for you.
Y’know what I like about you, Xbad? I can always count on you. Yeeeep.
And, Rosetta, bring it on. I ain’t askeered o’you.
Hahahahahaha
Nice poat, Cyn.
*Pats self on back for the assist*
Sky, what color latex corset and bustier are you wearing right now?
Andy, are you Tweeting your balls off today?
Sky, what color latex corset and bustier are you wearing right now?
Ya’ll know me so well. Boring day here today. Just black. With the stompy boots.
Just black. With the stompy boots.
Racist.
Racist.
Every time. *preen*
You know who also wears stompy boots?
You know who also wears stompy boots?
Yo momma?
Yo momma?
Chaz Bono.
*spews violently*
If you’re comparing me to Chaz Bono, I’m afraid I’m going to have to kick your ass. Immediately.
Rosetta, which color manties of Chaz Bono’s are you wearing on your head RIGHT NOW?
Sky, shave your head, grow a goatee, put on 100 pounds and go to this wedding in my place.
I’ll give you $5.
And where are the newest Henry pictures?
Rosetta, which color manties of Chaz Bono’s are you wearing on your head RIGHT NOW?
Guinea Pig Urine Yellow.
Five whole dollars? I don’t know that I can put on 100 lbs, grow a goatee, and get to the wedding quick enough.
If you’re comparing me to Chaz Bono, I’m afraid I’m going to have to kick your ass. Immediately.
I’m not comparing you to Chaz Bono. Chaz Bono can dance.
*runs away*
Sky!!!!
Hey there, nice to see you.
I’m perfectly okay with the fact that I can’t dance. I can strip, though! (Wait. That’s one of those things I should not be proud of, right?)
Andy!!! *tacklehugs* How’s things?
And where are the newest Henry pictures?
I know. I dropped the ball last weekend.
I’ll put some up tomorrow once I make bail from indecent exposure at this wedding.
I haven’t been tweeting much today, homie.
I was installing the new monster TV and associated electronic goodies.
The friggin’ thing hooks directly to the Interwebz. What’ll they think of next?
Rosetta, when you get to the reception ask the bride to dance. Then grab her ass with both hands.
The night will end early.
I hope there are strippers at this wedding.
Going good. How’s things with you?
Re: CERN
“We don’t allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here,” said the bartender.
A neutrino walks into a bar.
More weddings should have strippers. Why didn’t I have strippers at my wedding? Damnit. I guess it’s time to renew our vows.
Just for the strippers.
Rosetta, when you get to the reception ask the bride to dance. Then grab her ass with both hands.
The night will end early.
I’ll try that and then report back.
Life is awesome, Andy. And now that we have a working computer again, I can even deign to waste some of my free time on you morons again.
xbrad, I’m going to a charity fundraiser out at the Collings Foundation’s hangar tonight.
The friggin’ thing hooks directly to the Interwebz. What’ll they think of next?
Is your new TV faster than the speed of light?
I didn’t think so. POS.
Andy, that’s excellent.
Take some pics and we’ll put up a post at my place!
If the F-4 or F-100 are there, that would be sweet.
Gotta run. Later, bitches.
And Sky.
Sweet. How’s teh little R.A.D.?
Okay I gotta go. Have fun at your sausage fest.
Yes, it is faster than the speed of light.
I can’t even see anything on it because … light.
Missed you, xbrad, ‘cuz I was checking the batteries in the camera.
I plan on taking tons of pictures.
It’s not a sausage fest!
Buh-bye, Xbrad.
The Notorious R.A.D. is awesome. We made the dumbest parenting decision ever (Rosetta, take notes) and bought her a drum kit for her birthday this year. She loves it. So now that’s lessons, and the realization that she needs a bigger kit, and the noise, oh, fuck, the neverendingfuckingnoise!
Hahahahaha.
Unforced error.
Hey, Nevada bear hunting season is now a permanent thing, not a when-there’s-too-many-bears-thing! Who wants to come shoot some bears with me?
http://neoneocon.com/2011/09/23/looking-back-at-obama-the-con-man/
The comments are interesting too. They are better than the article.
Well, I have to get goin’ for now. But I’ll be back. For reals. Fair warning.
Dinner will be steak kebabs.
The steak has been marinating in Jack Daniels Mesquite stuff since yesterday.
Should I go to Sam’s Club and get a brisket? Hmm, I have a couple bags of charcoal and hickory chunks.
Jay:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/06/brisket_baby/
Not that I’ve ever done that, but someday!
Yes, J’Ames you should absolutely do that.
*Consults Magic 8 Ball*
I hear Chief got 2 8 balls today, maybe he’ll check.
What do you mean, that’s not the same thing?
Those Florida racists – Cain wins the Straw Poll.
I really like Cain and was happy when he announced.
Dang, can’t wait till dinner and will be cooking bacon to tide me over.
Dang, can’t wait till dinner and will be cooking bacon to tide me over.
What, you need more than bacon?
Man, these fuckers next to me are plowed. They must have started with Beer Pong at 8am.
Cain made some mistakes earlier in the campaign that spooked me, but it seems he learned and adapted. I’m pretty much in his camp for now.
Cain is a lot better than Romney, that’s for sure. I’m glad we haven’t limited our options just yet.
Plus Perry can still stage a comeback.
Hotspur, is UM at home today? Is the ghetto bar popular with the kids?
And I thought we were racists in Florida. Hmmf.
*throws away white sheets
I hear ya on the early mistakes from Cain, Jewstin. I’m definitely giving him a second look, now.
And I thought we were racists in Florida
Do you now have to wear taupe sheets to the meetings?
Cain has the right ideas, but he made the mistake of letting them go public, e.g., no muslims in the cabinet.
Frankly, I like that idea, because their loyalty will always be to their faith first.
You need to keep your head on a swivel, Jewstin.
http://tinyurl.com/3jjl2sv
J’Ames, home game – San Diego State. Hoke’s old school.
Ghetto bar is too far off campus for the little criminals to stagger to after the game.
These guys are just regular drunks.
*Puts plastic cone on Pupster.
*fills mixing bowl with coconut oil*
Hey Lipstick, can you help me in the kitchen for a minute?
http://tinyurl.com/42qkn97
Good clip of Cavuto interviewing Herman Cain. He’s being positive throughout all the GOP fighting.
Real Clear Politics: Herman Cain: Morgan Freeman Never Has Been To A Tea Party Event
hmmm, here puppy, I’ve got this nice broomstick. Don’t worry your furry little head at all what I may do with it….
You’ll get splinters.
Sicko.
http://tinyurl.com/3nnkjpa
No, it will not be me with splinters.
Friendly puppehs and peeved kitteh.
PJM?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQev3UoGp2M
Romy…is this true?
http://pupster.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/alderaan-shot-first-star-wars.gif
Hahahahahaha. Thanks, Pups, that one’s getting forwarded.
Obama said, “We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad,”
Case #17,324 of “What if Bush Had Said or Done It?”
‘Ello again.
Hi Sky.
MARE!! Boise is about to play. Are you wearing blue, white, or orange?
Blue!!!!
How goes it, Romy?
But I’m going to find some orange and white.
What the hell? How did you do that?!
Roamie, IIRC, he said Lincoln built the “Intercontinental Railroad”.
The Transcontinental Railroad got built in 1869.
Lincoln died in 1865.
Mare comments faster than the speed of light. CERN is vindicated.
You want the polite answer or the truth?
Truth?
I caught some kind of bug and missed four days of work this week. My boss set it up for me to write some documents from home, so I’m not burning all my sick leave, so this is good. For some reason, fever = faster heartrate, so I’ve been running at 120 -140 since Monday night.
I made some awesome split pea soup with ham for dinner tonight.
Shitty on the sick. Awesome on the split pea soup. That sounds yum.
Roamy, you need to put your feet up.
http://tinyurl.com/3mogqo8
I really want to be doing songwriting. But that’s hard with kids movies playing in the background. Grrrrr. Would it be mean to break the tv while Ember Jr.’s watching it?
Are the street lights on yet? Make Jr. go outside until the street lights come on.
That reminds me, I need to add an ottoman into my eulogy somehow.
It’s raining and kind of cold outside. I figure if I make her sick, there’ll just be more kids movies playing. Otherwise I’d have all ready sent her across the street to her little friends’ house. Mr. Ember should be home five minutes ago, and then I can lock myself away to do some writing. *taps foot, stares at door*
JEW!! I thought I had CBSPORTS, I don’t although my guide said I did, now I can’t watch Boise. Stupid tv.
“so I’ve been running at 120 -140 since Monday night.”
Holy Smokes, Roamy.
Mare, you should punch that TV square in the poon.
Damnit, if you tell me you’re going to be home by 5:15, and you’re running more than 15 minutes late, shouldn’t you call me? *taps foot s’more.*
13 and 0! Take that Tulsa!
Aww. Mr Ember won’t be getting laid tonight.
Jew, my husband just bought the “sports package” (SYWM) for me. Don’t know yet if I can see it tonight but I’ll be watching plenty of stuff from now on!
Boise with the pick!
Aww. Mr Ember won’t be getting laid tonight.
It’s his own damn fault. Stupid boy.
Mr. Mare sounds like a keeper. You should bring him a frosty beer for his effort.
No TV broadcast of the Virginia Tech – Marshall game, so I found streaming radio.
POW!
Discuss.
Good job Mare! Awesome performance!
The Sundance Film Festival is going to love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aG7EQMsP4c&NR=1
I love interwebtubes streaming audio.
*Passes popcorn to Roamy.
Oh, so now he calls and asks me to start dinner for him. *hmphs* We’ve been married for six years; you’d think he’d know by now that I can’t friggin’ cook! *stares at package of chicken*
Justin, I’m watching Boise now…Just took a few minutes.
Sky, do you have tinfoil? Put the chicken on some tinfoil, cover it with some frozen vegetables, sprinkle with Italian dressing, wrap, bake at 350.
“Sky, do you have tinfoil? Put the chicken on some tinfoil, cover it with some frozen vegetables, sprinkle with Italian dressing, wrap, bake at 350.”
Well, I have tinfoil in my craft supply box. Not sure if we have any in the kitchen.
Thanks for the help.
What uniforms are they wearing, Mare? I always like the blue uniforms on the the blue turf.
I’m supposed to let the oven get to 350 before I put stuff in it, right?
Put it in the microwave.
It will only take a couple minutes.
Here’s Sky in the kitchen:
http://tinyurl.com/3o2rp82
Hey, I look great in an apron. I got that going for me.
Oooh! Second interception!
Put it in the microwave.
It will only take a couple minutes.
I think you’re fucking with me.
Mare did you see this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhN0OZA3aIs
Whatever you do, don’t make it taste good. You’ll just have to cook again, then.
You don’t want that.
Hah, shit! Third interception. Boise is killing Tulsa.
That’s the best advice I’ve ever gotten, Jay.
J’Ames has a point. Spit on it and bake it at 225.
Mmmm.. Salmonella. The tastiest garnish there is!
Which couple are you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS3iB47nQ6E&sns=fb
Toaster shakin’s and ketchup Sky.
Everyone loves that.
Be sure to smear stuff all over yourself to make it look like you tried really hard.
Well, he came in the door and immediately told me I was making it wrong and took over. Phew. Back to the internetz.
That was a close call, Sky. Glad you made it through your ordeal.
Scott, that awesome catch video made up for that horrible horse video.
You would have made a statement with the microwave.
Just saying.
Blue on Blue, Justin.
Cool beans. I like that blue and blue.
Sorry Mare.
This should put me back in good standing.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2069/2477455173_47f40d641c_o.jpg
Yay! I have a hot date tomorrow afternoon.
Whatcha going to do?
You would have made a statement with the microwave.
Just saying.
A point I had not previously thought of. I will store that idea for later.
We’re just going to some dive and having a beer.
Then we’ll put some lampshades on and do a Mexican Hat Dance in the parking lot.
Then we’ll put some lampshades on and do a Mexican Hat Dance in the parking lot.
The true definition of romance.
It’s Sunday tomorrow Jewstin.
I hope you are deducting points.
What can I say? I have an old-timey soul.
Unless you have Sky boil you up a nice steak, then it’s OK.
Evening, Folks.
And Sky.
Pups, I stole your Alderaan gif.
Unless you have Sky boil you up a nice steak, then it’s OK.
Is that how you make steak? Hmmm.
Evenin’, Xbrad.
Deduct points for what? I’ve been kicked out of plenty of beds on weekday mornings.
Who wants to bring me a drink?
I’ll pour you a drink, but I ain’t bringin’ it to ya.
**pours bourbon in an envelope, mails it to XBrad.
Jewstin, I promise to never kick you out of bed.
I was kinda hopin’ to have to two of you fawning over me, and then getting into your nighties and having another pillow fight…
A-ha! I see your evil plan now, Xbrad. You got us to pillow fight once. Isn’t that enough for you!?
How is my plan in any way evil?
You enjoyed the pillow fight, remember?
Probably not as much as you Hostagemens enjoyed the pictures.
L to R: Lipstick, Sky, Roamy
http://tinyurl.com/6elsef5
Those boobs are way too big to be mine.
Jew,
Kicked out of beds is nothing. I have been banned from bars in the drunk capitol of the world!
I can’t remember if it was my face or someone elses face that broke the table in the Hogs Breath, then there was the bathroom door at Sloppy Joes, then never mind I cannot remember anything but the jail cell.
Anybody in the mood for some Herman Cain?
http://jayinames.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/herman-cain-wins-florida-straw-poll-awesome/
Roamy’s black?
Who knew?
Hi Sky!
Please CC me on pillow fight pics.
Please?
There was a pillow fight at the Dallas meetup with Mrs. Peel and Cathy, too.
Should have had one at StL. Dang!
VMax, there’s actually a genuine Roamy/Sky/Cyn pillow fight pic somewhere in the Meatup tab.
Yeah, VMax, no need to CC’em, we somehow allowed that to be posted on the blog. ‘Cause we’re dumb.
I’ve lost all the passwords for everything. I’ve been gone too long.
Yea!
*figures out passwords*
Bug Roamy, Sky. She’s got a master list of the PW’s somewhere.
Xbrad, you’re officially in competition with Wiserbud. I won’t kick you out of bed so long as you pay cash.
Dude, I’ll gladly pay you in cash Tuesday…
I still haven’t done any writing. Today is a total bust for productivity. Frak.
L to R: Lipstick, Sky, Roamy
http://tinyurl.com/6elsef5
Cute undies, Sky.
V-man, is Uncle Tony’s still in Key West?
*Hands Xbrad a burger.
Cute undies, Sky.
The plus to managing the lingerie department at Macy’s. I always have cute undies now. *preen*
I think I am banned from a bar in Havana too, but my espanish is not so good. That Key West to Havana sail boat race was teh fun!
Gotta go give Ember Jr. a bath. Will return with whiskey.
Sky, I thought you were at Lowe’s?
Vmax, you’re far too nice to be kicked out of a bar. You should maybe look at the friends you keep.
Except for us. H2 friends would never get you banned from a bar*.
*Almost never.
Ember Jr has your whiskey?
She really IS a drummer!
Roamy’s black?
Who knew?
**whispers, I picked the one with teh biggest hooters.
Macy’s is better than Lowe’s for the swag, for sure.
I have to give credit to Victoria’s Secret, their bras and undies are always expertly engineered. The clothing is hit or miss. Mostly miss.
I’ve been asked to leave a Shoney’s, but never a bar.
Captain Tony’s Saloon’s Haunted Bathroom on Green Street 428 Greene Street (Captain Tony’s Saloon), was the location of Sloppy Joe’s Bar during the majority of Hemingway’s life in Key West. Not the current occupant of Green and Duval (I have been banned from)
The lingerie section at Lowe’s was actually a lot better than I expected.
VS has very few bras without underwires, and I don’t care for smiley faces on the girls.
Oh it is the Ladies room that is haunted. Teh mens room is ok. Or I was too drunk to notice.
I’ve been asked to leave bars, but never been banned.
I was told that I was asked to leave a bar. In New Orleans.
I bit a girl on the ass on the dance floor in a bar in Germany.
Pretty much every Friday night.
Yay Sun Devils!! USC can suck it!
You know why, don’t you Cyn?
http://tinyurl.com/3wx3qep
I have returned with whiskey for everyone! Mostly for me, though.
HA! That’s entirely possible Pup.
*hold out a thimble at Sky with a smile*
**holds out 5 gallon bucket at Sky with a leer**
Vmax, is that the same Captain Tony’s that Jimmy Buffett sings about?
XBrad, there’s a story there. Spill.
*pours Cyn a shot. hands xbrad the thimble*
Hey Xbrad…guess who turned 22 last month?
http://tinyurl.com/6amnk2k
Pups, who is that?
W0oT! A whole shot! Thanks Sky.
Oh, Hayden.
Very fapworthy young lady.
But I’m always askeered of posting pics of them pre-legality.
Any time, Ms. Cyn. How goes it?
Romacita,
We’d get drunk in the local dive bar. Play “rump rodeo.” Get a running start, slide on your knees across the wooden floor, and bite a girl on the ass.
You had to hang on for 8 seconds, no hands.
Kinda hard now, what with no teeth.
Roamy, Buffett did a song about Captain Tony’s.
Bing search results for “Hayden Panettiere Dirty Sanchez” were disappointing, but not entirely fruitless…
http://tinyurl.com/3zyh4j9
It’s going all good, Sky. Busy as hell with work, the boys are doing well in school, and I’ve only wanted to beat my husband with a bat twice today.
Watching the USC v. ASU football game that I decided last minute not to go to. It’s so nice peeing in your own bathroom.
Wow. I have absolutely no clue who Hayden is. But she looks like she needs to be grounded for about a week and have her car keys taken away.
Evening folkses.
My favorite thing the Notorious R.A.D. said today:
“Mommy, you know what’s wrong with the alphabet? It has no chorus.”
Hayden was the cheerleader on …. Heroes. Which I saw about 3 episodes of.
I watched all of Heroes. I’m a bit of a massochist, apparently.
Howdy Dave!
We just intercepted the ball!!
We did? YAY US
It has no chorus.
Awww! Kids say the darnest things. Please give her a cookie from Auntie Cyn.
I’ve got the first two seasons. Just never bothered to watch ‘em.
Heroes was always better when it was ripping off X-Men, xbrad.
And I shall deliver a cookie unto the Notorious One tomorrow. In the evening. *is a shamefully mean mommy. very few sweets*
That’s adorable Sky
She’s a funny little fucker. And doing pretty good with her drums. *beam* And, ’cause I feel like bragging, her kindergarten teacher says she’s way ahead of the others and all ready meets the qualifications to pass.
looks like xxxbtc is starting a new career in producing workout videos…
http://www.buzzfeed.com/earnestp/hottest-dance-battle-ever-4yk
Nice Vienna Sausage Fest you have here.
I would hate to see anything happen to it.
“It’s so nice peeing in your own bathroom.”
random thought… any particular corner?
JAM, I watch that video, and wonder why my cat bitches about having to work in Brazil.
How did feeling up the bride work out, Rosetta?
How did feeling up the bride work out, Rosetta?
I’m pretty sure she’s pregnant.
Worst wedding gift ever.
Worst wedding gift ever.
That’s my kind of wedding. Wait. Wut?
Hahahaha. Pipe down, Strippy.
Captain Tony’s.
http://youtu.be/d1bbkyjCb2c
I will say that a wedding reception with fried chicken and gravy is pretty awesome.
Captain Tony’s.
http://youtu.be/d1bbkyjCb2c
When CERN makes a way-back machine, will you go to prom with me?
I love that song.
Mmmm, that’s a step up from my wedding. Someone brought pizzas to the dive bar where we had our reception. It was very nice of them.
I would, but they never played anything that good at my proms.
We had chicken nuggets but no gravy, sorry.
Hot Rocket, Henry loves your blanket.
He likes to stick his fingers and toes in the holes and then smile and fart.
I’ll send you a picture before he’s in 9th grade which will be in a couple of years.
G’night, retards and hot chix.
The food at my wedding reception was sausage.
It was a fucking sausage fest.
Good night, XBrad.
Night, Xbrad!
Rosetta, I’m glad he’s using the blanket. Nothing pisses me off more than to put hours into making something and have it be stored away because it’s “too nice” or some shit like that. I’d much rather make a replacement for one that’s worn out.
We didn’t have food at my wedding reception.
Fuck you, eat a sandwich before you show up.
Rosetta, I’m glad he’s using the blanket. Nothing pisses me off more than to put hours into making something and have it be stored away because it’s “too nice” or some shit like that. I’d much rather make a replacement for one that’s worn out.
He loves all his blankies but yours is special because we cried tears of joy and relief when we found it.
The blanket that MCPO knitted is his least favorite because it smells of seamen.
I would like to retract that last comment because it makes me uncomfortable.
We had booze, punch, bunch of hors d’oeurves, and one of the best wedding cakes ever. Froze the top layer and ate it on our 1st anniversary, and it was still good cake.
>> it makes me uncomfortable.
me too
Hot Rocket, how many tequila shots did you do at your reception?
Round to the 9th digit of pi.
Heh, no tequila, but a fair amount of champagne. I was still hung over from the night before. My bachelorette party must have been something. I remember drinking hurricanes and zombees and a drink called French Death. About a month later, I found a cocktail napkin from the bar that all the women had signed with their good luck wishes. I don’t remember them doing that at all, nor do I remember how I got home. I or some smart person set three alarm clocks so I wouldn’t be late to my own wedding.
quick note – Sean called me ( I KNOW, doesn’t he know the rules?) and he sounded great and optimistic. He really appreciates all the texts (so keep ‘em coming, I’d say) and he’s got another week and a half until he’s home. He misses his ‘puter
If I think of anything else, i’ll tell you all tomorrow
I’ve been at a soccer game until late tonight and now it’s bedtime.
I’m off to bed myself. (Well, off to do some songwriting. Whatever.) G’night, Hostagepeoples.
Roamy, yeah, Captain Tony was quite the character. A great story teller and a great host.
Son is home safe
My favorite Jimmy Buffett song (and no, it’s not Margaritaville or Cheeseburger in Paradise)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJc9wnawr1g
There’s a phone next to the shitter in this hotel.
Who the hell talks to people when they’re on the shitter?
That ain’t right.
http://www.happyplace.com/10430/the-most-enjoyably-cantankerous-notes-ever-posted-in-the-workplace
Who the hell talks to people when they’re on the shitter?
No one I want to talk to.
roger that
Going to see if I can sleep now.
Miss you, Sean, get better!
*Stumbles around H2 back yard. Steps right into a pile of Dog shit. “Thanx Pups” Steps back ward to survey the situation, steps on rake which rockets into back of brain case. falls face first into crap pile, unconscious*
Carin, yesterday:
Man, after long runs I … don’t feel good. Cold. kind sick. it was like this after the crim too. I think I need to take something when I finish …
Chumpy, early this morning:
It’s called a blunt. I’ll show you how to roll one next mtup. Miss you all with a mighty miss. 100 hr weeks no shit.
ch (heart) H2
Uh, Pups, Gepetto couldn’t even convince Pinocchio with this argument…
***Waits for the Dawg to get a Beatin’***
Comment by daveintexas on September 25, 2011 1:15 am
There’s a phone next to the shitter in this hotel.
Who the hell talks to people when they’re on the shitter?
That ain’t right.
People married to their jobs, corporate climbing shits with no private life…that’s who. But those are many of the customers/guests of hotel rooms.
Hi y’all. Make it a great day. Hugs.
Howdy!!!
Morning.
http://tinyurl.com/3r4qtrj
Wow. I have absolutely no clue who Hayden is. But she looks like she needs to be grounded for about a week and have her car keys taken away.
I do not think that would be a sufficient punishment, Cyn.
http://tinyurl.com/3jcfvwn
I was so, so happy when I got a cell phone and didn’t need to use icky hotel phones or alarm clocks any more.
Good morning nice people.
Good morning hungover people.
Morning Mare.
*chomp*
http://tinyurl.com/4xa9dpa
Wakey wakey. Busy day again.
Are you back home yet, MJ?
I sent a welcoming committee to the airport, but they were scared of airplanes. Sorry.
http://tinyurl.com/3ko8xxg
Home for 2 weeks, then gone for three.
New post for the speed challenged.
How was homecoming, CaRiN?