Where does money come from

300 Comments

  1. Had to bring this over from previous post, sorry:

    So, if cleavage girl knows what she is doing….what does it mean?
    What does it mean when a woman bends over in front of you and you can see all the way down to her glorious belly button, and the cleavage is just so magnificent that would pay to be smothered in it?

    all this in the office?

    What does it all mean? Is it a signal to hit on her or just playful teasing to enjoy the show and banter, or is she fucked in the head?

    Ladies? any insight is appreciated. I obviously can’t bring this up with my wife.
    Thanks,

  2. I am second.

  3. Uni, go see my thoughts on the last poat. And smooches

  4. Cathy, get TiFW to tell her story of the guy installing a smart meter on her house. Sounds like a James Bond story.

  5. She’s teasing you. I don’t know if it’s just for attention (whore) or what. I bet if you ignored it, it would get her PISSED.

    Yea. I wouldn’t mention it to the wife.

  6. Uni, enjoy the view.

    I don’t really think much of women who do the exhibitionist thing at the office. It’s sad that they need to get a rise out of a married coworker to feel good about themselves.

    Could be worse, though!

  7. Uni, Cyn and Carin speak wisdom. Only thing I add is that we women have figured out that we get treated better if/when we try to look and dress attractively. Maybe this gal is overdoing it. So I also suggest you simply enjoy the scenery, be pleasant, and don’t react directly to it.

  8. Could be worse indeed.

    The upside is her breasts are truly magnificent, not too big, not too small and curved perfectly with amazing shape and the right weight in all the right places, really perfect. I can understand why she is proud of them.

    the wife would go ballistic.
    At times I just ignore, then on Monday when I think it will be all over, she shows up and does it again. It’s almost a daily occurrence.

  9. Uni- hit that shit. No one will ever know…..

  10. Jay, we have smart thermostats that connect to our wifi already and are not overly concerned about ‘big brother.’

    *waves at Laura*

    Uni, I also agree with Laura.

  11. Uni, I agree with Cyn — be very careful, she seems manipulative.

  12. And don’t listen to Rich!

  13. Cathy, I think the one TiFW was referring to was the power company meter, not a thermostat. She can confirm that, but that was my understanding.

  14. …and she seems nice. Ask her if she likes it in the squeekhole.

  15. @ 11:04 Rich:

    Bwahahahahahahahaha!

    Reality sets into the discussion.

    Bwahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!

  16. Rich…HAHA!

    I hear stories about the workplace stuff from the hubby. {{shudders}}

    With the exception of us Hostagettes (of course) it’s probably just safest to assume that women like that are going to morph into an Alien.

  17. Cathy, what concerns me about the smart grid is that it COULD be used to control our electricity usage. I just remember the stuff with Enron in California and those guys who pulled that “Oops, there goes Granny’s lights” crap.

    It’s not so much what they are doing NOW as much as it is what could potentially be done in the future if the “people in charge” decide they have a problem with not getting paid enough salary.

    Or if someone decides thtat a customer is using “too much electricity” and decides to charge them a higher rate for that energy usage.

    I don’t consider myself a conspiracy nut, but I can certainly see how something like this could be abused by someone who doesn’t have a moral compass…..

  18. Cathy also brings up something I think is pretty relevant:

    Only thing I add is that we women have figured out that we get treated better if/when we try to look and dress attractively.

    When I had 25 lbs on me (which didn’t flatter me at all), if I went somewhere – it was like I was invisible. Try to get help at a store? Near impossible.

  19. With the exception of us Hostagettes (of course) it’s probably just safest to assume that women like that are going to morph into an Alien.
    I think it’s best to imagine she tucks.

  20. And yes, mine was a Smart Meter – I specifically told the company that they DID NOT have my permission to come onto my property and replace my old meter. As long as the dogs were outside, I was fine.

    But the very day that I told them they were not allowed to do that – I even called the company to tell them so – some kid came by when the dogs were inside and switched them out.

    Unfortunately, I’m too weak these days to go down and register a complaint, and the company doesn’t have a physical office in the area. And that is what bothers me most of all – there is nowhere to go for recourse.

  21. Jay, our ‘system’ permits the power company to alter the temps in our house just a degree or two for a very short period of time… and only when power is in high demand. So whether it happens via the thermostats or at the meter, the power company does have some level of control. At this point, we can still override their ‘control’ if we chos

  22. Uni- make sure to show her your fleshlight that you keep in your desk drawer for those special moments. Just trying to help out, buddy.

  23. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Carin wins the internets!

  24. Uni: Tell her you are gay.

    This strategy has a few advantages:

    1. She’ll believe it. You are you, after all.
    2. You’ll have a free pass to stare at her tits.
    3. As her gay friend, you might get invited to an all asian-big-boob-sleepover
    4. If you get fired, you can sue for discrimination.

  25. “it’s probably just safest to assume that women like that are going to morph into an Alien”

    Caused by all the STD’s she picks up as she sleeps her way to the top.

    Be nice to her Uni. She’s going to be your boss.

    A cranky, irrational, covered with open sores, bitchy boss.

  26. *waves at Cathy*

    Hey lady!

    the wife would go ballistic.

    Uh, yah, no shit. *I’m* getting angry and my husband is a thousand miles away from that whore.

  27. >> Could be worse, though!

    Please provide examples of “worse”. Use diagrams, and interesting nouns, OKTHX!

  28. I understand how power works. We learned about it in university business marketing class. I think permitting them to control degree or two on our meters is not a big deal and makes sense for those in a community to ‘share’ the conservation when demand is high. It does save consumers money.

    My guess is that the meter on our homes are not our ‘property’ and that the power company can change them out whenever they choose. I’m too lazy to look that up.

    There is always going to be a thread of unethical, immoral people in control, whether it is part of our government or part of a power company. Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake that ethical and decent behaviors eventually win out.

  29. Dave, by worse I meant somebody who gets their jollies from making their coworkers miserable.

  30. Uni, my suggestion would be to mention the situation to this woman’s immediate superior. If she isn’t aware that she is “showing the world Chicago” (as my Daddy always called it), she will be suitably embarassed and will cover up.

    If, however, she IS doing it on purpose, she will have been served notice that everyone is aware of what she is doing, and that will prevent any potential sexual harassment charges to the company in the future.

    And ya know what? I’d tell the wife what is going on. There’s nothing like some righteous indignation on the part of a spouse. She isn’t going to be any too happy at the thought of some little floozy flaunting her wares at her man. She might go all Beasn on the little hussy….. :-)

  31. >> Dave, by worse I meant somebody who gets their jollies from making their coworkers miserable.

    I know, I keed. I’ve had the unpleasant duty to inform women from time to time in the workplace (with someone from HR at the table) that they are dressed inappropriately and need to fix that. On a few occasions it was so over the line we sent them home that day.

    Pretty much sucks when you have to do that. But they adjusted and life went on.

  32. IGNORE TERESA.

    Christ, woman! Worst. Advice. Evar.

  33. Perhaps we could make Dave the official “you’re dressed inappropriately” informer at hostage gatherings?

    Since he has experience and all.

  34. TiFW has pretty good advice. There’s roughly 3.5billion sets of tits in the world. You can always find another set to ogle.

    But covering yourself from trouble at work? Good idea.

  35. I can’t even imagine what inappropriate attire for a hostage gathering would be. Wearing a live bobcat?

  36. I bet that whore Mare would know what to do.

  37. Wearing a dead hooker?

  38. Scott reminds me of a good point. One *never* know what that whore Mare may wear at a meet-up. We need to be prepared, on the off chance she ever shows up.

  39. Wearing a dead hooker?

    How about a live boa?

  40. Wearing a dead hooker?

    You can only wear a dead hooker after memorial day.

  41. Norwegians at it again:

    http://tinyurl.com/3c7f9up

  42. I am her immediate supervisor, there’s the rub.

    There and in my pants.

  43. Depends on how the hooker died.

  44. Well, that certainly puts a different spin on things.

  45. “I am her immediate supervisor, there’s the rub.”

    Well then, that makes it even more important that you follow my advice.

  46. Hey, look – all I know is personal experience. Mr. TiFW tells me about those things, because it makes him uncomfortable. Not that he minds the view, but he loves his wife. And believe it or not, the more times I knew about those things – and each time he came home to ME – the more he knew that he could talk to me about it.

    It’s become a running joke around the house these days, and he’s not walking on eggshells trying not to “slip up” and say something. He just started to go to the on-site gym (after his last doctor’s visit), so now he’ll tell me about “the sights”.

    I’m the one he wants to come home to, and I’m the one he saves himself for – ALWAYS (and vice versa). THAT makes me feel good…..

  47. “I am her immediate supervisor”

    Wow. What a coincidence!

  48. >> Wow. What a coincidence!

    Well that is odd.

  49. I bet she has a lawyer in the family too.

  50. I think I need to find myself a hot underling to ogle. It would make my days so much more pleasant.

  51. I’ve never had a co-worker do that “show off the rack thingy” to me. But when I was on the trading floor, a girl from another company did that stuff to me. Since she was in a different company, I had no real problems with ogling.

    And since I helped her with her homework, i had no qualms about accepting squishy hugs in payment

  52. Its a trap!

  53. Uni, is there an official dress code at work? I’d be willing to bet that you’re not the only man who is having this – admittedly pleasant – conundrum.

    However, if it is bothering you, then you need to tell her immediately. If it isn’t taken care of now, it WILL become a problem in the future. And YOU’RE the one who’s going to be having to deal with the fallout from a SE suit if this isn’t “nipped” in the bud.

    She may be a deliberate provocateur, but htere is no place for that in the workplace. And I guarantee you the other ladies at work are none to happy about it, either…..

    As the supervisor, it is incumbent upon you to provide a comfortable work environment for everyone, and to let everyone know that there are definite boundaries that cannot be crossed.

    I remember someone telling me about an experiment that was done with young kids and a playground. One had a fence – a clear boundary – and the other didn’t. On the one with the fence, the kids ran around and played to their heart’s content, secure in the knowledge that they knew just how far they were allowed to go.

    On the other playground – the one with no fence – the kids all stayed close to the building and most of them remained rather hesitant and shy. Turns out that without that “safe” boundary, they didn’t feel as free to play.

    We all are happier when we know what the boundaries are and that they are going to be enforced (as long as they aren’t overbearing or capricious). The folks in your group are no different..

    Sorry – I wrote a book again……

  54. Rich-She is beyond hot, which is part of the problem, and why I think she may be nuts because I am not, hot.

    She looks like a better looking Lucy Liu with a better body, like an asian Ashley Judd.

    My wife is not cool at all about that kind of shit. She doesn’t trust me more than the other person, I don’t know why. I have never cheated on her or even come close, but she is incredibly insecure about that kind of shit. She has also let herself go a bit and is insecure about that as well.

    If I told her I would walk on eggshells for the next few years as long as this girl worked with me. She is that distrustful. I really don’t like that about my wife.

  55. PVT Abdo has been a problem child for a while. Muslim, turned down for conscientious objector status, child pron charges, AWOL, and now this.

  56. Or he could give her a nice raise and a small apartment.

  57. TiFW – my husband is the same way. But not all women can deal with that, and we don’t know compos’s wife.

    My husband just hired some real hottie to go do sales. That she is hot is why he hired her. duh. Over the past week, he’s had three guys tell him “I hope your wife doesn’t find out” to which he’s replied that I know. They can’t believe it, so I imagine that women who can deal with that are not in the general majority.

  58. You can always tell her that if she shows up to work dressed inappropriately that you will be more than happy to provide her with a lovely burqa……

    But seriously, I would imagine you are within your rights as her supervisor to have a smock or something similar available in your office to make her put on over her clothing if it becomes a distraction.

    Make it ugly enough, and she will adjust her wardrobe right quick…..

  59. He sounds like a peach, xbrad.

  60. We all are happier when we know what the boundaries are and that they are going to be enforced
    —————————————————–
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    *deep breath

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  61. I think compos should get dave to have a talk with her.

  62. I bet MJ doesn’t share his toys either.

  63. Teresa,
    That’s really good information and advice. I have to figure out how to address this.
    Our department is pretty strange. the only other man in our wing is gay, you round the corner and there are two more, but both are antisocial computer guys (my friends). so I am really the only socially normal (shaddup!) heterosexual man. It’s strange.

    What’s so difficult is just averting my gaze, because I am wired to procreate and her globes are like beacons to me.

  64. Sorry, compos – my approach won’t work then.

    Just keep letting your wife know that you love her just the way that she is – at some point, she’ll come to realize it, too.

    In the meantime, if she mentions that she is putting on the pounds, you just let her know that you are happy that she is hiding that gorgeous body from the rest of the males of the species and keeping all that luscious goodness saved up for you and only you!

  65. Why is everyone calling Uni, compos?

  66. Compos, Dave’s first step (talk to HR) is a good one. Be preemptive. Ensure that whatever happens, that YOU as the supervisor have been proactive in protecting the company. That makes you far less likely to have any trouble, personal, professional, or legal, down the road.

    And get your talk with HR on paper.

  67. Teresa, it’s been 19 years, she isn’t going to change.

    I have to work around her issues, I can’t change them. She is one hard headed woman.

  68. if she mentions that she is putting on the pounds, you just let her know that you are happy that she is hiding that gorgeous body from the rest of the males of the species and keeping all that luscious goodness saved up for you and only you!

    Yeah, um, no.

  69. Well, that puts a different spin on it. She may want someone – anyone – to notice her. The gay guy doesn’t care, and the computer nerds are probably too in awe of her bounty to think they have a chance with her.

    If she tones it down, she’s more likely to appear approachable. Unfortunately, young women have been given the message through the media that they have to dress provocatively to get any attention. Gently take her aside and let her know that most men who are looking for a lifetime mate want someone who isn’t going to put it out there for the whole world to see (don’t put it that way, of course….).

  70. Uni- your new name is compos. Get used to it. Compos- your new name is asjdfjoashjkl. Enjoy.

  71. **facepalm**

    Uni, not compos.

  72. I think I will go with the avert my gaze strategy, if I can pull that off then I am in the clear. If I can’t I will discuss it with my supervisor, who is also a woman and wears low cut tops and short skirts and has a vagina with teeth.

  73. Ha. I think I may have started it. lol.

  74. Or Wif Teef, as the black folks say.

  75. Ha. I think I may have started it. lol.</i.

    Yes you did, Cyn.

  76. I think it’s cause we love both uni and compos and the two of ‘em don’t come as much as they used to.

  77. Never, EVER discuss anything like her attire without HR present.

  78. Uni, boobs aside, is she a good employee? Does she do her work well and on time? Or is she giving you your daily “fix” so you won’t notice or care about poor performance?

  79. I’m pretty sure, though, uni never wore pink soccer shorts.

    That’s how I can tell them apart.

    Yes you did, Cyn.

    As if confusing me with Cyn is some sort of slam? That’s a compliment.

  80. >> I think compos should get dave to have a talk with her.

    Nothing doing. I don’t even like dealing with that shit when I have to, much less when I don’t.

    I never thought I could get bored with a conversation about tits, and yet it happened.

  81. “I think it’s cause we love both uni and compos and the two of ‘em don’t come as much as they used to.”

    Uni and Compos- Ca rin thinks you guys need to come more. She’ll get right on that.

  82. Uni, I didn’t really “change” until after 20 years – once the kids became teenagers, I started to realize I wasn’t in competition anymore, and I mellowed out a great deal (we’re coming up on 31 years next month)

    Be patient with her – the 20-year mark can be one of turbulence in a marriage, mostly because of life changes/family dynamics that are taking place at that time. A lot of people are dealing with their teenagers’ hormones at that time………

  83. Uni, you know your wife. Do not mention this to her if you know it will upset her. Second, seriously, whatever you do, do not approach this golden globed underling without someone from your hr dept with you. You.will.get.burned. And as for trying to avoid looking at her, Carin Cyn (heh) had some sage words: keep telling yourself that she is mid-operation and that while she has fantastic breasts, her penis is still there.

  84. I think BBF should reflect Uni’s dilemma.

  85. Oh, and sorry Uni – I can only plead age and medication for the confusion….. :P

  86. Gently take her aside and let her know that most men who are looking for a lifetime mate want someone who isn’t going to put it out there for the whole world to see (don’t put it that way, of course….).

    Abslo-fucking-lutely do NOT do anything like that!

  87. >> I think BBF should reflect Uni’s dilemma.

    without the “tucking”

  88. I never thought I could get bored with a conversation about tits, and yet it happened.

    ha ha ha

  89. without the “tucking”
    ——————————
    Meh. Tomato, Tomahto.

  90. Is it ok to tell a coworker that her dress looks nice?

    Also, she is hands down one of my best workers, fucking kick ass worker with the focus of a Jap fighter pilot.

    I love working with her, huge upside.

    in my pants.

    Kidding, huge potential.

  91. >> Gently take her aside and let her know that most men who are looking for a lifetime mate want someone who isn’t going to put it out there for the whole world to see

    Not sure lyin to her is helpful.

  92. I don’t think we even talk this much about bewbs on BBF! IIRC, it’s usually more conversation about the BMI of Rosetta’s poat.

  93. I have visions of sticking my thumb up her ass while I bend her over my desk.

    If I am going to make this “avert my gaze” strategy work I should probably stop creating scenarios in my mind. I have a few I will need to file away for later in life when the danger has passed.

  94. speakin of which, IT’S SAMMICHTIME!

  95. Is it ok to tell a coworker that her dress looks nice?

    I want to say that the hubby’s hr training even frowns on that.

  96. Is it ok to tell a coworker that her dress looks nice?

    No. In your situation, especially.

  97. I feel your pain Uni. My wife is completely jealous and it has been mitigated somewhat over time, but it can be rough dealing with the guilt of things you have never even done.

    Ask the employee if she likes to go out on the water. Just a casual conversation. If she says yes, then ask if she prefers sailboats or motorboats…

    report back after lunch.

  98. Weird. My wife isn’t jealous at all. I believe she has transfered those feelings to her Glock, which will be used if necessary.

  99. You know what this poat needs…http://is.gd/fsYzj7

  100. What if she’s more into tunaboats?

  101. I’ll shut up now – I haven’t been in the business world for many, many years, and obviously things have changes a WHOLE lot :P

    GML, you naughty, naughty boy….

    Uni – I like your idea about the other female supervisor. That may be the best way to handle this.

    And any time you have those thoughts about this young lady, save it up and let your wife be the lucky recipient of your attentions!

  102. SQUEAL!!!!!! Those puppehs are so cute!

  103. Nice, Cyn, but not enuff kitteh.

  104. One of DD#3’s friends’ cat just had kittens. DD#3 wants one. She’s leaving for New York next month.

    She doesn’t understand why I said “No”……

  105. Uni – I like your idea about the other female supervisor. That may be the best way to handle this.

    The supervisor who dresses the same way?

  106. Heh. I was trying to stay away from any pussy references whatsoever Xbrad. It’s for the best.

  107. I think Uni should send us pics of the employee in question, purely to assist us in making helpful recommendations in dealing with her.

  108. Xbrad, why do you always double-tweet?

  109. Good point, Cyn:

    http://tinyurl.com/3fq979w

  110. Lippy, I haven’t looked at my twitter account in forever.

    I’ve set my blog to publicize each post on twitter, but I guess I’ve screwed the settings up somewhere.

  111. Friends with benefits.

  112. Bad bunny!

  113. So I also suggest you simply enjoy the scenery, be pleasant, and don’t react directly to it.

    Then think of the worse case scenario…..and is this rise in my pants fair to my wife.

    Grass is always greener…blah, blah, blah…..and the head on your shoulders knows it.

  114. Puppies!

    I’m just gonna do this the rest of the day. Politics … real life … I’ve had enough.

  115. last one.

  116. What uni’s really staring at.

  117. She might go all Beasn on the little hussy…..

    The husband would tell me and I wouldn’t have to go beasn on her. I trust him. HA! The neighbor lady has bigguns with tons of cleavage and he says he is very uncomfortable talking to her….so he talks to her forehead. She is also blonde. *he prefers brunettes with mammaries that won’t kill him*

    Uni, if you are her immediate supervisor, is there anyway someone in HR can tell her in a round-a-bout fashion? Like send out a notice on proper workplace attire?

  118. If Uni was a kitten .

    somone stop me.

  119. Link fail on bad bunnies, Car in.

  120. Or if you have to say something, say it with a female witness and a camera or recorder.

  121. he prefers brunettes with mammaries that won’t kill smother him*

    edited for accuracy

  122. …….and keep your hand out of your pants…

  123. Just move along to the next one, xbrad. Some of them should work ;)

  124. >> Is it ok to tell a coworker that her dress looks nice?

    Nope. Some exceptions, so few they aren’t worth mentioning. Topic is best avoided.

  125. **tackles Car in**

    **gives her “The Hyperlink”**

  126. If Uni was a kitten .

    Ha! You’re going to give him a stroke with that one Carin.

  127. Umn, perhaps “stroke” was not the best choice of words.

  128. Umn, perhaps “stroke” was not the best choice of words.

    Ha. You naughty kitten

  129. HAHAHAHA, Cyn!

  130. I think it’s cause we love both uni and compos and the two of ‘em don’t come as much as they used to.

    Uni said his wife was irrationally jealous. He didn’t mention frigid. And we know absolutely nothing about his hands. Stop jumping to conclusions.

  131. And with that…….I’m off to lunch.

  132. /goes back to looking at images of cute baby animals

  133. ON the other hand, uni, you do seem to be in an aroused state most of the time, so maybe you are misreading the gal’s intentions. Until she is rubbing on you or flirting, you better ignore and avert your eyes.

    She could just think she is cute or she could be a tease. Either way, proceed with extreme caution.

  134. Looking at this uni/asianhawt thread, I’m recalling the scene in Animal house where the litle devil and little angel are having it out on wiserbud’s shoulders.

    OK. Lunch time gotta go fix a ham sammich. And some sweet tea.

  135. Oh goody, now the MBM has something new to worry create a big scandal about: HotAir: NYT worried about Rick Perry’s recovery from spinal fusion surgery

  136. J’ames, why are you trying to kill the poor thread/

  137. I can completely understand Uniballs’ wife insecurity. I mean women always know when something is off or not right and if her husband is having fantasies of the office whore then that proves right there that her suspicion of her husband is dead on.

  138. Deader than a sack of bastards.

  139. Sohos, if my wife had any idea about who I fantasized over, she would’ve hit the road a long time ago.

  140. Memphis airport has a smoking lounge. I might just miss my flight on purpose.

  141. My point is that women’s insecurities are based upon not trusting their partner. When someone openly says they are attracted to and having SEXUAL fantasies about another woman then that proves he isn’t trustworthy. Uni and I have butt heads over this issue many times. That is cheating to me. Plain and simple

  142. I’m not going to wade into the boob debate. If you like your job you do what is right. Same thing if you love your wife.

  143. Sohos,
    I can’t even remember the last time my wife has allowed me to go full Uniball nasty on her ass. She has become so damn vanilla.

    but I love her, this is why I am conflicted. I am hard wired to stick my thumb up the coworkers squeekhole, yet my loyalties are solidly with the housefrau who hasn’t let me thumb her squeekhole in years.

    A man has needs, but loyalties as well. The wife is safe, but her inflexibility and hard headedness is getting to me lately. She doesn’t even want to travel to locations other than locations SHE approves, and they have to be Europe, no Asia or S. America. ?Nothing unless she is happy.

    I kind of feel like with this loyalty there needs to be a payoff other than a stable home life and happy kids.

  144. Sohos-We disagree on this point. My wife would agree with you but there honestly isn’t a man out there who doesn’t think about other women, in some way, in some variation.

    Never cheated on my wife, never even flirt, it’s in my head, and I try to control that as well, but there is a direct correlation between the insecurity/controlling nature of my wife and the fantasies in my mind. The more restrictive and hard headed the wife becomes, the more the mind wanders. The more free flowing and nasty she gets, the more the mind focuses on her.

    It comes down to attraction. I am less attracted to her the more suspicious and controlling she gets.

  145. This thread is like my bedroom.

  146. You guys ever eat Corn Nuts. I’m not sure if its real food, but they’re pretty tasty.

  147. BBQ corn nuts are amazing. When I was a kid I would shove a handful in my mouth and suck the BBQ flavoring right off them. Damn they were good.

  148. Heck yeah, corn nuts are real food! Maybe not real good for ya food, but it’s real!

  149. If I still had teeth, I’d be tempted to eat some cornnuts.

  150. The more restrictive and hard headed the wife becomes, the more the mind wanders. The more free flowing and nasty she gets, the more the mind focuses on her.

    Again, you are making this about your wife and not YOU. The more your mind wanders then the more hard headed/suspicious she becomes. Do you not see the correlation? You act as if it is ok b/c it is your “nature” to fantasize about another woman. I mean seriously if all it takes is a pair of great Asian tits to get your juices flowing then no wonder she doesn’t want to go to Asia with you. When you fully trust someone then you are open with them and there is NO jealousy a.k.a. insecurity. I know if I had to be “nasty” for my husbands FULL attention well….. You say you have never cheated but in the years I have known you the things you have said on here would have been considered cheating in my book. I’m not judging you. It isn’t my business, but you are not innocent here.

  151. Just came back from the sporting good store – went to buy some dumbbells and a t-shirt. Most amazing thing happened! This fat clerk, with small bewbs, leaned over to put my merchandise in a bag and I could see all the way to Chicago.

    Hope she didn’t mind having to clean the vomit off the register!

  152. Chief, you are one funny SOB.

  153. Chicago is a fun place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

  154. Chief – you brought out my inner LOL with that one!

  155. Oh goody, now the MBM has something new to worry create a big scandal about: HotAir: NYT worried about Rick Perry’s recovery from spinal fusion surgery

    – – – – – –

    J’Ames the governor is recovering very nicely. My partner met with him yesterday (no shit) and said he looks terrific. He will be announcing as soon as the doctor clears him.

  156. NYT worried about Rick Perry’s recovery from spinal fusion surgery

    Yeah, I assume that the NYT would be concerned about any Republican with a stiff spine.

  157. Yeah, I assume that the NYT would be concerned about any Republican with a stiff spine.

    Chief is really bringing the funneh, today!

    “Forget about the curve ball, Ricky, give him the heater!”

  158. Good to hear that, GMLand. I have a feeling that it will be a very big deal when Perry declares.

  159. I really want to go to Chicago

  160. Sounds like you’re going thru a rough/rut/tough spot in your marriage Uniball. Hugs to you on this.

    I agree on the trust issue, but I also don’t mind one bit that the hubby’s eyes rove–at least I know he’s still alive. And conversely, I look too; it’s human nature. Everyone’s different, of course, and what works or is acceptable to me (or my hubby/our marriage) and how it gets discussed is not so cool or even an option for someone else. Different strokes blah blah blah.

  161. Thanks sohos and cyn.

    I love chicago, one of the best cities in the world.

  162. I will say this: If you have a happy and wonderful sex life it makes up about 10% of the relationship, if you have an unhappy sex life…it makes up about 90% of the relationship.

  163. Sohos; you nailed that one.

  164. And I seem to be the pun queen today. Heh.

  165. Men and women arguing about the importance of and how they think about sex and relationships,eh?

    When you all get it figured out and come to an acceptible level of understanding and agreement, come and find me in Neverland. I’ll be the one trying to shrink and sprout wings so I can pork Tinkerbell.

  166. I’ll be the one trying to shrink and sprout wings so I can pork Tinkerbell.

    THOUGHT CRIME!!!!!!

  167. I like doughnuts.

  168. It’s been what, a month since Perry had back surgery?

    How long do most jobs require an employee STAYS HOME after back surgery?

    For a C-Section, it’s at least 6 WEEKS (I realize they’re not the same thing…..)

    I’m excited that he’s going to run -

  169. shrinkage doesn’t sound good

  170. I like doughnuts.

    *pictures clintbird gnawing on the Pillsbury Doughboy’s sack*

    Poppin Fresh bendovers with homemade glaze.

    *clintbird is a sick individual*

  171. >> shrinkage doesn’t sound good

    THE WATER WAS COLD

  172. shrinkage doesn’t sound good

    Are you offering to grow wings?

  173. Annie doing a nice cover of an Annie classic:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8TqpKiU1vY&feature=related

  174. THE WATER WAS COLD

    And the rocks slippery.

  175. There is a doughnut at Voo Doo Doughnuts in Portland called the “Cock and Balls” and it’s shaped like a cock and balls. The one sitting in the display booth says, “wouldn’t you like to eat a cock and balls” written in white glaze.

  176. *Shoots Compos in face w/potato cannon which had been preloaded w/Uni’s “stuff.”*

  177. I have a meeting in three minutes. Somebody hold my beer and do not look in this box until I get back!

  178. If I made doughnuts I think I would make one oval shaped.

  179. Watching the debate on Boehner’s bill on CSpan channel. OMFG.

    I will gladly hold your beer Compos.

  180. That lasted 4 minutes before I screamed at teh TV.

    *downs Compos’ beer*

    What channel are the baby animals on again??

  181. You did good, Cyn. 4 minutes sounds like a record.

    If it’s not, it should be.

  182. I just pulled it up Cyn. You could put a bunch of political buzzwords in a blender and get a speech like these.

    In 30 seconds: billionaire, slash medicare/SS, default, hedge fund, oil companies.

    Fuck these dummies. At least get a fresh perspective.

  183. How long will MJ make it?

    *plays Jeopardy theme song

  184. Done.

  185. Oh and evil Republicans and killing grannies.

    My scream to the tv was…so then where’s the house dem’s plan? Hmmmmm?!?

    That poor little beer can never had a chance when I hurled at the television.

  186. HA! Did you break my 4-minute record, MJ?

  187. I may have to kill my son.

  188. Hey.

    http://is.gd/T6RbGb

  189. Whose idea was it to have all these kids? They’re driving me up a frakin wall.

  190. Yea – more baby animals.

    Why did I get baby animals instead of kids.

    /punches self in poon

  191. didn’t

  192. Uni, I’m female and I still partner with HR for all clothing discussions. We have lots of young girls showing midriffs and cleavage and get lots of complaints from female customers. My husband is a firm believer in the “When Harry Met Sally” philosophy and we had lots of battles about my male friends.

  193. HA! Did you break my 4-minute record, MJ?
    ——————————————
    Not by much. So boring and silly.

  194. Carin – Push them out the door and lock it behind them. Unlock it when dinner is ready. . . worked for my Mom in the summertime.

  195. Damn good advice, MCPO.

  196. Just uncork another bottle of mommy medicine.

  197. We were only allowed to be in the house for meals, a little tv after dark, and beddie-bye in the summertime.

  198. Paul Ryan speaking on floor now.

    *fans self, caresses tv just slightly*

  199. Baby monkey! http://i.imgur.com/kQlbF.jpg

  200. So, if cleavage girl knows what she is doing….what does it mean?

    I can answer that. It means you should just rip her blouse open, yank her skirt up, bend her over your desk and fuck her brains out.

    OK, not really. I just wanted to fantasize about this.

  201. *Sees Cathy rounding the bend. Decides this is a good time to flee the scene.*

  202. scott looks … different

  203. Baby monkey! http://i.imgur.com/kQlbF.jpg

    Does anyone ever tire of cute animal pictures? No, I think not.

    Just uncork another bottle of mommy medicine.

    While that works, I’m trying to lose weight (SYWM) so I’m limiting myself.

    Note – I’m just limiting. Not eliminating. I’m not crazy

  204. Chicken fajitas for dinner. what’s everyone having?

  205. Reported to be the Senate democrats’ new theme song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j83xviHVmGg&feature=related

  206. All kidding aside, I totally agree that you should NOT respond to a coworker who is being overly provocative or flirtatious. Especially if you are male. The deck is stacked against us.

  207. Typical summer afternoon at Carin’s place:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhm_APPwhWk&feature=related

  208. I have decided to go eco-friendly w/my next vehicle purchase:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWuqzDRIHTE&feature=related

  209. Worst example of this that I had to deal with was a male and female field tech on the job. It is undisputed that they pulled the truck over and sex ensued. The female complained that it was rape, the guy said it was consensual. The police got involved, but charges were never filed.

    Who knows what happened? They were supposed to be working.

  210. No dating if they work for you, period.

  211. Then there was the couple, both married to other people, who were screwing in the locker room and got interrupted by the cleaning lady. They yelled at her and told her to go away.

    WTF?

    She complained to her boss that she couldn’t do her job. The couple in the locker room both got fired.

    Imagine them trying to explain to their spouses why they are unemployed.

    Oh, then there was this Marketing VP doing a direct report. Yep, fired.

  212. Yeah, Dave. You just don’t screw somebody if you write their evaluation.

  213. Just because you like things up your squeak hole doesn’t mean everyone else does or should be expected to like.

    Repeat after me, the squeak hole is an exit, not an entrance or a storage container.

    There was a couple, where I work, who would run out to their car, on their break and do somethin somethin….both married to other people. I was kinda hoping the ‘jealous’ husband would show up and beat some ass.

  214. *Sees Cathy rounding the bend. Decides this is a good time to flee the scene.*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HtyPryGays

  215. Repeat after me, the squeak hole is an exit, not an entrance or a storage container.

    I assume, Beasn, that you posted this for Rosetta’s benefit.

  216. I poated it in general.

    I hear anal reconstructive surgery is on the rise.

  217. As my old Chief once told me, “You can fuck ‘em or you can work ‘em. . . you can’t do both.”

  218. The security guards at work have some good stories about being the cause of coitus interruptus, including one couple in one of the test buildings who did not realize they had an audience all along the catwalk until they broke out in applause.

  219. I wrote that poorly, but I don’t give a shit right now.

  220. As my old Chief once told me, “You can fuck ‘em or you can work ‘em. . . you can’t do both.”

    I trust that he was not talking about spouses.

  221. Michael – STFU.

    *turns to the crowd and holds hands in the air*

    Please people, hold your applause!

  222. one couple in one of the test buildings who did not realize they had an audience all along the catwalk until they broke out in applause.

    Jeebers. I’ll bet that was an awkward moment for them.

    There is a reason why God decreed, on the eighth day of creation, “LET THERE BE MOTELS!”

  223. If you can believe it, with our country on the brink of collapse, the final House vote on Boehner’s plan has been postponed.

    “For what?”, you no doubt ask.

    The naming of post offices in first New York, and now New Jersey.

    *double facepalm*

  224. Oh fuck. Are we gonna have a post office named after Cesar Chavez?

  225. My other favorite story is the one where the security guard caught the couple in a stairwell. Apparently she saw the guard first over her lover’s shoulder and couldn’t speak but clenched up. Lover was really appreciating that until he was tapped on the shoulder.

  226. HAHAHA! That story’s a keeper Roamy!

  227. Hotel stairwells CAN come in handy … just sayin’

  228. Not this time, Michael. Now it’s a PO in CA for a former Tuskeegee Airman.

  229. Hotel stairwells CAN come in handy … just sayin’

    Their handrails come in handy.

    A friend told me that.

  230. It’s painful to watch this happen. The people in D.C. just don’t get it. They do not have the mental capacity. For them, the issue is only how fast should the federal government grow. They cannot comprehend that the federal government should GET SMALLER AND DO LESS.

  231. they don’t have the votes.

    Friend of mine told me about a couple of dry grocery selectors who wandered off to a secluded part of the warehouse to “date”. She was hanging on to a conveyor and got her hair caught in it, and he left her there. She finally had to call for help.

    That was very wrong.

  232. The Mexican kids call our Cesar Chavez Avenue ” Chester Cheeto”.

  233. they don’t have the votes.

    Heh; apparently they don’t even have the votes to pass the renaming of post offices.

    Why is the House even concerning itself with this post office stuff anymore? Aren’t they completely separate now? Regardless: Waste of time.

  234. Michael, they know exactly what they are doing. F*cking with us until they bend us over.

  235. It’s really a wonder that the conveyor belt hair chick didn’t ax murder her “date”. That would have been an interesting news story.

  236. People still fuck? I’ll be damned.

  237. Only the unmarried ones, and the ones married to someone else other than their fuckee or fucker, PG.

  238. they don’t have the votes.

    I know. Not yet.

    If you make me Emperor of the United States for six months, I promise the following.

    1. About 25% of the non-defense federal workforce will be fired. The D.C. area will experience the same recession that the rest of America has already suffered. The Departments of Education, Agriculture and HUD will no longer exist.

    2. The economy will be booming by the time I leave office.

    3. There will be a balanced budget. The dollar’s status as the world’s reserve currency will be secure.

    4. We will have a plan in place to ensure North American energy independence, without regard for CO2 emissions. (Canada, Mexico and the U.S. actually have all the energy we need.)

    5. The New York Times will whine piteously about the plight of poor minority babies who are not being taken care of by the federal government.

  239. WTF do they need to waste time naming post offices? Just number them. Done.

  240. The summer after I grajumawated from hs, I worked in a beef packing plant. There were a few women who worked there but as you might suspect they were somewhat blue collar butt fucking ugly. One night while I was loading a truck, I noticed that the rest of the crew was no where to be found. The foreman told me that they were all out at the railroad siding gang banging one of the female employees who just so happened to be butt fucking ugly. I’d heard that she was married to another hand out there and asked the foreman if she weren’t married. He answered, “yeah, so what?”. That was my first introduction to the idea that certain adults act no better than a whole lot of teenagers. Up to that point, I’d assumed we’d all naturally grow out of our self-destructive behaviors.

  241. Regarding Item 1 Michael, could you kindly include Commerce in that hit list?

  242. Energy too, Michael.

  243. She was hanging on to a conveyor and got her hair caught in it, and he left her there.

    Trailer park girls go ’round . . .

  244. The post office in my town is named after my town.

    Notrees Post Office

    Notrees, Texas 79769

  245. House now in recess.

    Post office naming was riveting. Riv-et-ting.

  246. Hahahahaha.

    http://tinyurl.com/4xzh2df

    Idiots.

  247. I’d be somewhat surgical about canning Commerce and Energy employees (and Labor). They actually do some useful work.

    I would also consolidate the police function, and move it outside of Justice. The cops should not report to the lawyers, and it is insane that we have about about 20 different federal police forces. The FBI, DEA, ATF, Secret Service, IRS auditors, SEC auditors, etc, should all be in the same place, working together to catch bad guys. I think I would use the Department of Homeland Security, which is now a mess, to consolidate the police function and make it work.

  248. We have a lot of young girls who are working their first job and have no idea how to dress or act. I feel very protective of them. It can be very sad how vulnerable they are.

  249. **tackles Rosetta, gives him the “Hubble red shift”.

  250. Michael, please trim some of the Congressional staff as well.

  251. Anyone know the average staff size of a legislator?

  252. Anyone know the average staff size of a legislator?

    3 inches?

  253. I bet Pelosi’s is bigger.

  254. Michael, please trim some of the Congressional staff as well.

    OK.

    Look, just make me Emperor of the United States for six months, and I can fix everything.

    I promise not to screw any interns in the process. However, Halle Berry will be invited to state dinners at the White House.

  255. They actually do some useful work.

    Michael’s “friend” must be selling him the PCP-laced stuff.

  256. In 2000, every Representative hired 14 staff members, while the average Senator hired 34.

    This does not include committee or leadership staff.

  257. **tackles Rosetta, gives him the “Hubble red shift”.

    *ISS splashdown!! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

  258. Yeah, but then we’ll be stuck with tuna noodle casserole and red Jello.

    Why don’t you be Vice President?

    Beans/Michael 2012 “We will straighten your ass out.”

  259. Michael’s “friend” must be selling him the PCP-laced stuff.

    Nah. Commerce is not all bad. If you want to start out competing in international markets, it’s actually useful to have a government that collects data and has somebody on the ground with local contacts.

  260. Yeah, but then we’ll be stuck with tuna noodle casserole and red Jello.

    It really hurts me that you would say that. I would never do that.

    You will get tuna noodle casserole and LIME GREEN JELLO WITH CARROT SHAVINGS!!!

  261. Thought exercise:

    What would happen if DC was wiped off the map in a nuclear attack?

    How would the 80 million people that get a gubmit check each month survive?

    My guess is that they would find a way.

    To paraphrase that smoking hot chick Gloria Steinem, in reality, 95% of the people in this country need the government like a fish needs a bicycle.

  262. What would happen if DC was wiped off the map in a nuclear attack?

    What a horrible thought. Welfare moms would have to make a lunch for their kids.

  263. To paraphrase that smoking hot chick Gloria Steinem, in reality, 95% of the people in this country need the government like a fish needs a bicycle.

    Unfortunately, that ratio has gone up dramatically. In their own opinion, of course.

  264. Republicans hate people!
    Especially old people, young people, poor people, gay people, colored people and the handicapped!

  265. What a horrible thought. Welfare moms would have to make a lunch for their kids.

    My God. I didn’t think it would be that bad.

  266. Yeah, I don’t know how my mom survived all those years of making PB&J’s for 3 kids. And she didn’t have any help from Uncle Sam!

  267. I like this lady’s style:
    derp

  268. I lived on bologna and Kraft American cheese (cut with a wire cheese cutter) on white bread and a piece of fruit, all packed in a brown paper sack with my name printed on it. Oh, and a nickel for the milk lady.

  269. The U.S. is big enough to give everyone 100 acres and a mule.

    Actually I don’t know if there are enough mules but cows or horses would be okay.

    Let’s just do that and then everyone promises from then on to shut the fuck up.

  270. Republicans hate people!
    Especially old people, young people, poor people, gay people, colored people and the handicapped!

    Scott, that is an unfair accusation, and you know it. Republicans are not haters.

    Except for Wiserbud, but everybody hates him.

    OK, we also hate people who wear Birkenstock sandals.

    And we hate the French.

    *scratches head*

    I think that’s it.

    Oh wait, we also hate anybody who has a theory about cover songs. But I repeat myself.

  271. Rosie – How are Mrs. Rosetta and Junior faring today?

  272. This deal ain’t happening, which will make Rush’s prediction wrong.

    I am hoping for no resolution, If Barack has to cancel his party and vacation it will make me happy.

    Yes, I hate commies.

  273. I used to head off for a day at Michigan with a PB&J in my coat pocket for lunch. That was all we could afford.

  274. I used to get $15 a pint for blood that nobody would want if they knew what was in it.

  275. Rosie – How are Mrs. Rosetta and Junior faring today?

    She’s at her last baby shower tonight.

    And she had monitoring today and she’s been having minor contractions the last two days so Sumo Jr is getting ready to bring the thunder.

    She’s scheduled for a C-section on the 25th of August but I think there is a 70% chance that Junior arrives early.

  276. PBJ, sliced raw carrot, snack pack fruit and a ho ho. And Mom would wrap the milk money in a little piece of foil, so it wouldn’t get lost.

  277. You will get tuna noodle casserole and LIME GREEN JELLO WITH CARROT SHAVINGS!!!

    Can we make the casserole with rice milk? I have a lactose problem.

  278. Rosie – I’m really essited for you guys!!!

  279. Oh, and a nickel for the milk lady.

    You guys were robbed! We paid 3 cents for the longest time…and then I think it went up to a nickel, in the 8th grade. But then, I went to publik skoo.

  280. So when my water heater absolutely needs to be replaced do I call 911 or is there a special number I call?

  281. My mom would pack us either a piece of American cheese on white bread – wrapped in wax paper, an apple, and a twinkie or cookies.

    I hated it when she made bologna because she would always dollop some ketchup and it sogged out the bread by lunch.

    Or pickle-loaf. I hated that shit and would eat a little around the edges and toss the rest.

  282. Rosie – I’m really essited for you guys!!!

    I’m essited too!!

    90% because I’m going to meet my son.

    10% because this is such a big deal, I’m going to run to the store for milk, change my identity and move to an island.

    How do people not completely freak out when having a baby?

    I’m the smartest man in the history of time and I cannot wrap my head around having a little person.

    Hahahahaha. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO WORK OUR NEW VIDEO CAMERA!!!!

  283. I used to get $15 a pint for blood that nobody would want if they knew what was in it.

    Dude, don’t start the poverty story competition with me. You have never crawled under your mobile home to do emergency heat-taping on the water pipes to thaw them out before they burst.

  284. scott, my sister, who does 911, says people call her all the time to send someone out to change a lightbulb. No shit.

    Or drive them to the ER because they don’t want to pay a cab or wait to see a Dr. at his office.

  285. “I used to head off for a day at Michigan with a PB&J in my coat pocket for lunch. That was all we could afford.” :)

    i still like pb&j…. i didn’t know the social aspect of it then because my parents loved me… were there for me, kept me clean, clothed, sheltered, taught me self worth and promoted my education… they did the best they could with what they had.

    come to find out my parents were horrible vile America hating ppl…. they were **shudder** **sotto voce **
    conservative

  286. I know it’s going to be the best thing ever but I’m askeered.

  287. Actually….let me put up a new thread.

    brb

  288. How do people not completely freak out when having a baby?

    I’m the smartest man in the history of time and I cannot wrap my head around having a little person.

    Wiping shit off the baby’s ass tends to make it all seem real.

  289. I know it’s going to be the best thing ever but I’m askeered.

    If you weren’t askeered, I’d think you were some kind of foul, racist tea-bagger from a Red State.

  290. Advice for diapering:

    With baby girls, the important thing is to wipe shit away from the vagina.

    With baby boys, the important thing is to not let him aim his penis at your eyeballs.

  291. You should be afraid Rosetta.

  292. Rosetta… twill be cool…
    :)

  293. Rosetta… twill be cool…

    No it won’t. The worst thing about babies is when they are teething. It’s nonstop diarrhea, drool, and snot flowing out of their nose, all the time.

    Neither of my kids would have survived this, except Cathy was keeping a close eye on me.

  294. This is pretty cool. It just proves that all animals are smarter than you think.

    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=937_1224444221

  295. New probably unfunny poat so you can still hang out here and kick each other in the junk if you want.

  296. >> How do people not completely freak out when having a baby?

    Cleaning baby shit from under your fingernails sorta takes care of that whole “freak out” thing.

    >> I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO WORK OUR NEW VIDEO CAMERA!!!!

    Not in the delivery room. Otherwise, ok.

  297. Well, well, well. My Hobbit Name is:

    Bramblerose Deepdelver of Brockenborings

    http://chriswetherell.com/hobbit/index.php

    How fun is that?


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