I nominate this as the official dish of the next Hostages potluck-clusterfuck…
Someone WILL DIE, but he or she is going to have oboyoboylotsa fun before the doctors pronounce. And that’s what really matters, right?
July 14, 2011
Categories: alcohol, bacon, Balls, BANGLAR!, Booze, cheese, Chubs, Fourth Grade, fuck you, Fucking Wagon, Good Stupid, Gout! Gout! Let it all out!, Heavy Metal Thunder, High Society Trash Bloggin', Hulk Smash, I'm 7 Indians, police involvement, Rocky Dennis, Say "What" Again, STFU, YOU WISH . . Author: Sean M.
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Eat, drink, and be merry!
Sup, Bitches?
Hey, A-cano. Please regale us all with your undersea adventures and sexual exploits.
Oh, and if there were any undersea sexual exploits, feel free to discuss those as well, please.
I’d like to keep the focus on the crazy rainbow pig.
You left out the alcohol part. That part is kind of important.
The alcohol goes without saying. Duh.
The “alcohol” is silent. Like the “Sean” in “Shawn”
You know, last I knew, there wasn’t an “O” at the end of that word you call yerself in this country, Honcho.
But that’s what the filipinas call me. ShawnO
And don’t kid yourself, cracka. It’s nuestro country ahora.
The above political commentary brought to you by Secretary of Border Security George Lopez.
And don’t kid yourself, cracka. It’s nuestro country ahora.
Well, then…
*hitches up britches*
Why don’t you haul yer li’l brown culo back to these here contiguous states and put up yer dukes, podner?
(Be sure to bring some of them busty Filipinas along fer the ride!)
Watchit, Sean. Remember the Alamo?
All us adults Remember The Alamo. They taught us about it in U.S. History class and it was a big deal and everything.
Oh, for fuck’s sake…
Wakey wakey
Car in, I know some of your chickens get eaten by dogs, but are you raising any of them intentionally as meat birds?
And I’m going to put some Floyd treats in the water balloon so that when it bursts, he starts to lick it up. While people are barfing they won’t even notice that I steal the pizzas.
Dude, the dog will lick it up w/o the treats. And I thought my husband had cleaned it up. Yea, right. As if he’d be cleaning up amniotic fluid off of the kitchen floor. We’re talking a HUGE freaking puddle.
Car in, are your chickens just for eggs, or are you raising meat birds too?
Just eggs. We may do meat chickens next year, but we don’t have a separate space for them right now.
I’m considering using our coop for layers and doing broilers in a chicken tractor. Wondered if you’d have any experience therewith.
nd how that will determine the sex of the child. Use obscure terms like “Grappling Emus” and “The Twisted Turtle”, offering to demonstrate the position for them if the would like.
When someone asks you what you “think it will be”, say “Well, we did it doggy style, so I think it’s gonna be a puppy.”
(yes, I did tell someone this)
How big of a chicken tractor do you have?
We’re just going to build a simpler coop for the meat chickens. Don’t need boxes. Probably won’t even put windows in it. They’ll only be there for a few months.
My layers free range a lot. Most favorite thing to do ever. That’ pretty much what a tractor is supposed to be for, but unless you have a constant threat to their safety, you don’t really need one.
The neighbors have two boxers, and there are a fair number of hawks around, plus my dog. My intent is to use a chicken tractor and/or a rabbit tractor to avoid mowing my lawn. I don’t have a tractor yet, I’m planning to build a couple.
I’m with the guys in the suits.
The chickens aren’t really going to take care of the grass. They’ll eat the seeds off of the grass … lol. My chickens now don’t even eat much green stuff at all. They spend their time looking for bugs and seeds.
They did take down that Hosta, but I think they were bored.
The chickens are for the bugs and weeds, the rabbits are for the grass. The poo from both is fertilizer.
link fail, leon.
Well, you have to come visit so I can show you my coop.
So is anti-Semitism to blame for Obama vs. Cantor? I forget where it was online, but they made the point that the last time Obama stormed out of a meeting, it was with Netanyahu.
Dammit, now I have to log in.
Should be fixed.
I dunno. I can’t say for certain that Obama hates joooos. I think it’s just white people in general.
Somebody. Anybody.
Off to work. Bets on how many hours I get to work today?
Although, if I were Boehner, and my majority leader was a Jew, and my president was probably a crypto-islamofascist, you better bet I’d be pleased to make sure they were together a lot for negotiations.
OTOH, Rahm Emmanuel. Does he not count?
I should head to work also. They’ll notice.
I’m in a place where I don’t want to be with nothing but a blackberry and vending machine coffee and snacks.
Pupster, get out of the hospital now. Nothing good happens there.
I can’t post gifs or follow links, so please entertain mw with witty banter.
It’s worse than you think Leon. A large state university veterinary teaching hospital. Large and small animal.
A large state university veterinary teaching hospital.
Uh oh.
Stay away from the testing labs, pup.
I’m here to conduct interviews with entrenched state workers who don’t really want to talk to me. No incentive.
The primary consultant set up two 4 hour sessions for all the volunteers to be interviewed.
I’ve already done ‘the tour’ WB. I could not do medical research.
I know why its done and that its for the benefit of mankind, but damn. Too softhearted.
3 more hours.
Pupster, will you look at this large pimple/boil looking thing on my ass and tell me if you think it looks infected?
My friend worked for Pfizer. Did research on mice and rats. Broke her heart when she worked with the rats – they were full of personality. Mice, not so much.
“Well, we did it doggy style, so I think it’s gonna be a puppy”
That joke never gets old……
The deaf and blind dog is barking at SOMETHING out front. But not enough for me to think it’s anything other than one of our cats.
Or maybe a leaf blew up on the front porch – who knows what sets off a dog who can’t see or hear?
Um… hi all. *waves*
Hi, darlin’! How’s life treating you?
‘mornin revvy
Middling, Wiser. Still haven’t found a job but other than that things are fine. I tried applying to Bungie yesterday but I’m pretty sure Hell will freeze over before I get that job without previous experience.
How about yourself?
Mornin’ Beasn.
Oh, and
http://superheroes.memebase.com/2011/06/02/lostthingsdeadpool-ettiquette/#comments
Make of that what you will.
How about yourself?
Chances are very good that I will be unemployed again by this afternoon, this time by my own choice. Of course, this assumes that the person who was supposed to call me back yesterday to discuss some of our differences will actually call me before the end of this week.
Things have not worked out as I had hoped with my new company and I’ve seen how this movie ends, so I’m not going to sit through it again.
Hiya beans clint tiwf revvy. Tell me stuff.
Well, that’s… good that you won’t have to put up with crap anymore at least, Wiser.
I’m kinda going into desperation mode with my job applications. I’m just gonna try and get some art done and then send mailers to everyone and their Mom.
Sorry to hear that bud.
Uniball was looking for someone with your skillset a few weeks ago. Of course you would have to relocate.
And work for Uniball.
you would have to relocate.
Hmmm….
And work for Uniball.
Fuck that.
Eh, maybe I can get more hours at the music store.
Uniball was looking for someone with your skillset a few weeks ago. Of course you would have to relocate.
I think I’m done with healthcare at this point. I also think I’m done with technology. The fucking lies that people tell are sickening. No one seems to be able to keep their word. ANd yet, they expect me to front for their bullshit.
I’m tired of it. I had enough of that shit at my last job. I am not going to head down that road again, especially with someone who is an even bigger bullshit artist, it seems.
“You are hired as of April 1.”
“Oh, surprise, I don’t have any money to pay you.”
“I guarantee we will have that report you need for your prospect that you brought to me by the end of June.”
“Tell them that it will be done in September, but only if they sign the contract this week.”
“Starting July 1, you will go on salary, I promise.”
“I’ve decided that you’re job does not yet require you to work full time, so I’m only going to pay you on a part-time basis.”
“Oh, by the way,we’re still having ‘revenue problems’, so I’m not going to pay you at all just yet.”
“Now, go out there and sell, sell, sell!”
Fuck you.
Sorry man.
You are pretty good at this internet thing, maybe you could start a revenue generating commentary blog.
a revenue generating commentary blog.
Is there such a thing?
Or a porn site.
Or a porn site.
Well, I was thinking of going back to my modeling career…..
I’ve done some work for contract data centers, they always seem to be looking for salesmen who can talk to IT. That industry is growing big, offsite server farms where they maintain your software and host your data storage, and can bundle bigger chunks of bandwidth for companies with better redundancy and disaster recovery.
Obama has advice for you, Wiser:
1) Borrow money from small business administration
2) ?
3) PROFIT!
It’s guaranteed.
I’m kinda going into desperation mode with my job applications.
I was reading a story in my local paper yesterday about how difficult it is for teens to find summer jobs this year. My first thought was “that’s because people like me are taking them, because we can’t find decent jobs elsewhere.”
Of course, that theory was surprisingly absent from the story.
So, sorry, honey. I’d love to move out of your way, but I kinda need whatever I can make right now.
It’s guaranteed.
but of course! *smacks forehead. It’s all so obvious!
>> Well, I was thinking of going back to my modeling career…..
cars or airplanes?
I’ve done some work for contract data centers, they always seem to be looking for salesmen who can talk to IT.
Trust me, I tried to get into a lot of places like that over the past year and they want younger people than me.
I never even got a call back.
Hah hah, nah, no worries Wiser. I’m still trying to find more of a career-type job right now, less than a placeholder. If I don’t find one by the end of summer then I’ll probably start looking at KMart etc. It’ll be easier to find a job then because all of the college and highschool kids will be gone.
cars or airplanes?
http://tinyurl.com/32yehyg
That industry is growing big, offsite server farms where they maintain your software and host your data storage, and can bundle bigger chunks of bandwidth for companies with better redundancy and disaster recovery.
Amazon, Microsoft Azure, etc. Definitely a growth industry.
heck I didn’t even think of trains
Shave your head, grow a goatee, go to Desmoines.
1.5 more hours
Shave your head, grow a goatee, go to Desmoines.
Well, I am svelte… ish
*starts personal grooming routine*
Mornin’ cool kids
tidings bitches!
The header picture is teh awesome
Job opportunity for someone witha strong constitution:
It doesn’t mention that the chaperone will have to take one – or both – children to the bathroom RIGHT before the climax of the film.
Happens. Every. Time.
Wiser, if you’re fed up wioth the lies in your business, just remember it could always be worse.
You could have Jay Carney’s job.
I think the real reason Gibbsy moved on was the need to be drunk by 7 am just fet through the day.
Good morning.
BTW, Car in,
The local news just said a former member of Queens of the Stone Age was arrested on some felony charge.
Hey Xbrad…how you feeling today? Gone through your whole prescription yet? Why not?
Jay Carney
He could not have picked a better stagename if he tried.
Hola, Cyn.
I’m taking the meds on schedule. So I’ve got a couple days more of drugs. And when I run out of them, I’ll steal mom’s tylenol with coedine.
You could have Jay Carney’s job.
{{{{{{{shudder}}}}}}}}}
I could not imagine shoveling that much bullshit on a daily basis and not attempting to slit my wrists out of sheer self-loathing when I got home
I could not imagine shoveling that much bullshit on a daily basis and not attempting to slit my wrists out of sheer self-loathing when I got home
Democrats don’t seem to have that problem. See: Obama’s latest lie uncovered, about his mom’s health insurance during her bout with cancer. Could you do that for political gain? I don’t think I could.
Althouse: Obama lied about a central fact about his own life which he used — powerfully — to push health care reform. Great comments here, too.
Xbrad, i’ m on it. As long as it’s not my Josh, I’m good.
Oh it’s nick o. He’s mo stranger to domestic violence. That why Homme kicked him out in the first place years ago.
xbrad will be busy making some special friends today
http://www.visitpalmsprings.com/blog/palmreader/2011/07/Celebrate-National-Nude-Day-on-July-14-at-a-Clothing-Optional-Resort
Here’s a letter penned and signed by 56 Congressmen today and laid upon Teh One’s desk.
“Dear Mr. President:
We remain hopeful that an agreement will be reached in the near future regarding spending levels and the debt ceiling. We write to you today, however, to express strong concern about recent comments by Treasury Secretary Geithner. We ask that you clarify for the American people that the Treasury will in fact continue making the monthly interest payments owed on our national debt, even if the debt ceiling is reached.
As you are aware, the revenue projection for FY11 by the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) is $2,230 billion. The total estimated interest payment for FY11 is $213 billion. For FY12, CBO estimates revenues of $2,558 billion and interest payments totaling $257 billion.
Statements by Secretary Geithner have led many Americans to believe that reaching the debt ceiling will cause the United States government to go into default on its interest payments August 2nd if the debt ceiling is reached.
Clearly, that is not the case, as the figures above indicate. Additionally, many Americans believe making Social Security payments (CBO estimates: FY11: $727 billion; FY12: $760 billion), Medicare payments (CBO estimates: FY11: $563 billion; FY12: $560 billion) and ensuring the pay of our military personnel (DOD estimates: FY11 $157 billion; FY12: $160 billion) should be the Administration’s next priorities. Allowing statements to the contrary jeopardizes the good faith and credit of the United States.
We ask that you make an immediate, clear and unequivocal public commitment that your Administration will continue to make all interest payments on time, as well as ensuring the pay of our military personnel, and making Social Security and Medicare payments in full.
We look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
Members of Congress”
There’s far too many really old people here for me to even consider a clothing optional approach here.
Just read your linky, Jay, on Obama lying about his mother. All I can do is shake my head, especially at the WH response.
Turbo Tax Timmy is a fuck.
He probably doesn’t even listen to QOTSA.
Wiser, maybe you and Revvy can start up a new business – you’ve got the marketing skills, and she has artistic skills……
Proly not, Xbrad. He strikes me as a “Hootie and Blowfish” kinda guy.
you’ve got the marketing skills, and she has artistic skills……
All we need is an idea and a name….
Yannow, something that would go good with the word Solutions!™
To be honest, I don’t listen to QOTSA.
OTOH, I sure as shit don’t have Hootie and the Blowfish on my mp3 player.
You just haven’t been properly introduced to the joy that is the music of QOTSA.
All your music sounds like a vacuum cleaner going through a woodchipper with cats, Carin.
Nice timing.
I won’t have to delete my Katy Perry songs, will I?
All your music sounds like a vacuum cleaner going through a woodchipper with cats, Carin.
I’LL CUT YOU.
#
I won’t have to delete my Katy Perry songs, will I?
#
Yes. And let’s never speak of this again.
Carin’s favorite band gives her a wake up call! YAAAYYYY!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGiTDJhgGUI
Lauraw, jackhammers are so 90′s.
shesh.
Shut it. Yummy.
For Car in – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hJuKSWOAWo&feature=related
Because we party!
They’re all just philistines, Guy.
I’ve strangled a cat before and had better sounding results.
Next meat up – me and you, listening party… in my room!
OTOH, I sure as shit don’t have Hootie and the Blowfish on my mp3 player.
I do. But then I also have The Clash, Harry Connick Jr., and Grand Funk on my mp3 player…mostly because genius knows no genre (and will occaisionally record a cover for fun, too.
and will occaisionally record a cover for fun, too.
No, you din’t!
did I just see what I think I saw?
I won’t have to delete my Katy Perry songs, will I?
Yes. And let’s never speak of this again.
*waits for Car in’s head to explode
I was thinking more Teenaged Dreams, J’ames.
Hang on, my Debbie Gibson songs are coming up.
Hang on, my Debbie Gibson songs are coming up.
*Only in my dreams…
She goes by Debra now, doesn’t she?
Hang on, my Debbie Gibson songs are coming up.
– - – -
so is my lunch!
GLand, Hangin Tough™ as usual
Covers.
For Fun.
and Profit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VwNx6SyNs4
Hang on, my Debbie Gibson songs are coming up.
– – – -
so is my lunch!
Girl music???
EWWWWW!!!!!!
I thought the dress on the host was a nice touch.
* turns volume up to 10 *
* rocks out to Christy Lane *
http://heavens-gates.com/gospel/onedayatatime.html
I thought the dress on the host was a nice touch.
SQUEEEEEEE!!!!! I thought It was FABulous!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ejvcd-JeVCQ
I prefer Christy Canyon myself
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q5nNHRQk7w
*uses my infrared sock puppet detector to identify culprit*
*shoots wiser in the poon with a rusty nail*
*shoots wiser in the poon with a rusty nail*
Wow. Hell of a shot, deadeye.
This poat needs to eat its peas.
http://is.gd/FLckyZ
I had a 250gb external hdd shit the bed yesterday. Here’s hoping my it guy can recover the files. All of my youtube clips that I’ve saved over the years plus a lot of movies were on that drive. Plus all of the advertising for the inn.
Some of it I have duplicates of on another drive, but not all of it.
Shit fuck.
I had three 250s and a 1000, plus my notebook capacity is 500, and it still isn’t enough.
Yes, I agree with Hotspur, Michelle Obama needs to monitor this site for fat, salt and veggie consumption.
BUT SHE WILL HAVE TO PRY THE WINE BOTTLE FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS!!!
Michelle Obama can eat a booger.
Michelle Obama can eat a booger.
– - – -
off my ass.
No, that would be a dingleberry.
Why do some young women insist on dressing like a hooker at work?
And why did I have to be the first person in mgmt to see it today?
*sigh*
Dave, how did you handle it? Call HR? Tell her she looks “tarted up?”
Make out with her? What?
I did what I usually do, which is go to the line manager or supervisor and ask them to discretely have a word with her. Which they did, very discretely, so as to preserve her dignity.
It always ends the same. Tears, embarrassment. Sheesh.
This is not Havana. We are not at the club.
Just poke her and get it over with.
Why do some young women insist on dressing like a hooker at work?
My theory, and I’m probably completely full of shit, is that deep down, they are convinced that they have no marketable skills or knowledge and thus must get to the top of the heap via men’s libidos. My boss’ secratary never misses an opportunity to show me the top half of her very nice rack. His wife hates the woman, and mine isn’t particularly crazy about her.
“so as to preserve her dignity.”
HAHAHAAH…If she had dignity she wouldn’t dress like that.
“This is not Havana. We are not at the club.”…….hahahahahaha
Heh, Dave. I noticed that became a fad at work after that TV show Allie McBeal became a hit.
Tight short skirts and even side slits started cropping up everywhere.
Dave, wear something provocative to work and let us know what happens. Pumps with your dress pants or maybe a halter top.
I’m sure that slut-fest Sex in the City didn’t help.
I caught myself totally checking me out in the mirror earlier. It was all I could do to keep my hands off me… Working alone isn’t easy, but rules are rules.
Why do some young women insist on dressing like a hooker at work?
well, Mr. Standards, is it ok that I dress like a hooker to hang around the internet?
/turns QOTSA up to eleven just to piss Lauraw and Xbrad off.
Comment by GMLand on July 14, 2011 1:20 pm
Next meat up – me and you, listening party… in my room!
Can we invite Mr. Chumbo too?
I don’t want to see photos of your homely daughter’s new braces on FaceCock.
Leon, I always felt/knew wimmens dressed like that ’cause they wanted to do the “hokey pokey” so I will always try to oblige them. Does that make me a bad person?
“I caught myself totally checking me out in the mirror earlier”
You are not supposed to go to work dressed like a hooker.
I’m wearing my Texas t-shirt, jeans that I have worn the last two days, and flip flops, my hair is in a clip, I have on no make-up…I love not having to wear business attire everyday. At my last job a woman got fired b/c she was told on several occasions to quit dressing like a prostitute and she just wouldn’t. I actually printed out a booklet for her on appropriate attire for women in the business world…UGH.
I have relaxed the rules somewhat during the summer heatwave.
I didn’t realize I would take it as far as I did…
Can we invite Mr. Chumbo too?
– - – - –
he can come listen with you after I’m done listening with you..!
Did you see that Kate Middleton is bring sheer pantyhose back in style? No? Well that’s what “They” say. Ain’t happening here. I could seriously start a fire if I wore those in this Texas heat.
Did you see Kate Middleton’s ass in that picture? Whoa!!!!
http://nation.foxnews.com/2012-presidential-race/2011/07/14/bachmann-takes-double-digit-lead-over-romney-iowa
I didn’t realize I would take it as far as I did…
Some of us appreciate you wearing a swimsuit to work, Guy.
Um, maybe next time though, instead of the mankini, some nice surfing trunks. Just a thought.
Well done hostages, or is that bastages? Nice poat.
Well done hostages, or is that bastages? Nice poat.
the spam… it is becoming …aware…..
I welcome our new Gluten Overlords.
>> well, Mr. Standards, is it ok that I dress like a hooker to hang around the internet?
Yes, But please turndown that godawful screechy music.
Later peeps. Kid shuttle time.
>> Can we invite Mr. Chumbo too?
Mr. C is one of the happiest fellers I’ve ever met. Dude was a hoot.
Well, looks like Borders is going belly up. We have a contract to work in all of the stores within a forty mile radius. Just got a call that all work is cancelled, and that the company is going into immediate liquidation.
Chumpo is a sweetie-pie. Where he at, anyway? Seems to have gone missing a while back.
Well, looks like Borders is going belly up.
Ugh, I have a friend that works for them. Wonder what he’s gonna do.
Too bad. I liked having a cup of coffee and reading a book there. Never buying a book there, of course.
There was a bid for them of something like $215MM but it fell apart because the creditors and landlords objected, so they’re going liquidation/auction. I heard the deal fell apart last night.
Brad killed Borders.
Scott, for my next trick, I’m moving on to neighborhood post office/shipping businesses.
Actually, it appears my next trick is killing an innocent thread.
Re Borders: http://hosted2.ap.org/txdam/a227c868771a4f9a96b85fd8199d46b3/Article_2011-07-14-US-Borders-Liquidation/id-6c94cc99b0af4653b091b51758379b91
Reminds me of this: http://www.nytimes.com/1999/02/26/opinion/foreign-affairs-amazonyou.html?scp=12&sq=thomas+friedman+amazon&st=nyt
Amazon’s stock price when Friedman wrote that stupid article was $64 (split and dividend adjusted). They closed at $210 today – that’s a 10% compound annual growth rate over 12 years.
Andy, I know you’re too stupid to grasp this, but Tom Friedman is much, MUCH smarter than you.
Comment by GMLand on July 14, 2011 1:41 pm
Hang on, my Debbie Gibson songs are coming up.
– – – –
so is my lunch!
Aren’t you the same guy who went to a New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys/Menudo reunion show?
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black…..
Andy, I know you’re too stupid to grasp this, but Tom Friedman is much, MUCH smarter than you.
Word.
Friedman’s the shiznit.
He has a pornstache. He has to be teh smarteh.
I may need to start watching “Community”
http://tinyurl.com/5vkcl79
**poke*
Amazon built up a huge network of “3rd Party Dropship Fulfillment Providers” over the past decade when they realized books movies and music would only get them so far. They built systems that plugged in to those providers’ order entry and processing systems, all XML based.
They fully intended to be the “you can buy anything from us” online retailer.
Pretty smart for a bunch of dope-smokin hippies from Seattle.
New poat!