You did WHAT to Floyd?
.
Some of that Packer magic must have rubbed off on BrewFan – he got pulled over doing 44 mph in a 25 mph zone and got off with just a warning.
Oh, the irony – an article talking about how Unions AREN’T the problem, written by James Hoffa, and published in a Detroit paper.
-
XBrad’s mom saw on CNN that a shop in Huntsville is taking guns as trade for new sex toys.
Roamy was very disappointed, because she thought she heard him say that they would take sex toys for new guns – especially since that particular store has a drive-thru window.
Revvy said those had better be some damn nice toys, because none of the ones that she currently owns cost more than $35. Revvy does realize that HER DAD reads this blog, right?
-
J’Ames thought that XBrad broke the “This Ain’t Hell” blog.
XBrad said it was fine when he left it – Andy must’ve broken it instead.
Andy said it was working just fine and to blame J’Ames.
-
Late at night, the oddest comments come out:
Sean M: Weird. Clint Eastwood had the same hair when he ran for mayor of Carmel that Arnold had as governor.
George Orwell: So they share the same rug?
Sean M: That rug really tied the room together.
George O: I think it was sisal.
FIN.
-
ScottW’s morning didn’t start off too well - while his coffee was brewing, he picked up his phone to check messages, only to discover that it wasn’t working. It turns out that he was holding his GPS, not his phone. When the coffee finished brewing, he went to pour himself a cup, heard a loud CRACK!, and the mug split in two, spilling coffee everywhere.
J’Ames suggested Scott not walk under a ladder or look in a mirror, just to be on the safe side.
GML suggested that Scott not go into the bathroom unless he wanted other handles “popping off” in his hand…..
-
Roamy hastily put together an HHD post; TiFW offered to set her pants on fire so that the young man in the first picture could come put it out.
Beasn had to scrub her eyeballs out with bleach after some of the guys linked a picture (NSFW).
Clintbird also linked a picture, but modesty compels your humble scribe to refrain from linking it here. He did, however, win the “Longest URL in the Free World” Award (link at comment).
-
MJ has a cost-cutting suggestion for the government. All he asks in return is an appointment to an ambassadorship to Fiji.
The school that Revvy is currently attending has a large deaf population, which got some of the Hostage nation talking about reading lips and deaf culture in general.
Car in hoped that Mare was happy – Car in needed to go feed her chickens, but the conversation was keeping her glued to her computer.
-
Car in’s rooster bit her while she was trying to feed her chickens (Maaaaaaaaare!), so she wants to get rid of it.
The blogger formerly known as T2D suggested that Car in put out a Craigslist Ad for her rooster:
Come get my Cock. This cock must go – you’ll have to pull it out of its cage, but it will be so worth it. I love my cock and hate to see it go, but it has gotten too big for its cage and needs to roam free. Do you have a pen big enough for my cock? Serious inquiries only.
Car in asked TBFKAT2D if she should put out an ad for her extra pussy as well, at which point Aggie spewed her coffee…..
-
AOL buys Huffington Post. AOL hardest hit. Again.
Somebody tried to hack into Hotspur’s Facebook account. Why, we’ll never know…..
Sheila Jackson Lee is a raving lunatic moonbat (BIRM).
-
Poor Floyd will now be singing soprano in the doggie choir; Rosie is inconsolable.
Sohos wrote limericks bemoaning Floyd’s loss of manhood; the Chief was in his cups, quoting melancholy sea poetry (which made XBrad wonder when this joint hired a lounge singer).
TiFW noticed that Floyd and Mr. TiFW share a birthday. She also thought that Floyd might need a sweet pussy now.
-
Ever the optimist, Pendejo Grande noted that now Rosetta’s nephew has a chance to grow up heterosexual. Silver lining and all that.
Speaking of silver linings: All things considered, XBrad decided that maybe having all of his teeth pulled wasn’t that bad after all…..
GML told everyone that he achieved the same “…loss of baritone, and testosterone, and gettin’ it on…” that Floyd did – on the day he said “I do”.
-
Even without his “boys”, Floyd still has more testicular fortitude than the “males” in the current White House administration.
While Floyd was at the vet getting tutored, PJMomma was taking – and passing - her Computer Certification Test.
AgileDog was very impressed with PJM’s accomplishment, because she previously studied for – and failed – a urine test.
-
Today’s installment of Hostage Community Theater:
Rosetta: Rush was having a field day with Harry Baals today. I like that sort of high-brow humor.
AgileDog: Some dude’s pubic hair giving you a uni-brow does NOT constitute as “high-brow”.
Rosetta: Some dude’s? No. Your mom’s? Yes.
AgileDog: Say “Hi!” to Mom for me – haven’t talked to her in weeks. Is she giving you the disabled discount?
FIN
-
Well, as of 6:00 p.m. EST, there was still no word on whether the Herr and Frau are new parents. I’m sure they’ll let everyone know when the baby gets here, though!
-
The Fat Lady Has Sung.
.
[Update: Andy] Today’s meme was wearing the throwback uniform.
IMPORTANT BABY UPDATE [Herr Morgenholz]
Cuter Than Yours
358 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Nicely done, The Resa!
I’m excited to see a picture of little Sophia!
I’m glad my car runs of the hopes and dreams of communal hippies
http://tinyurl.com/6babukg
When I get old I am going to be the crankiest person ever. Every day new pet peeves seem pop up.
I have been noticing lately that a lot of people pronounce “str” as “shtr”.
Drives me crazy.
I just yelled at the weather lady for saying “shtrong storm”.
“When I get old I am going to be the crankiest person ever. Every day new pet peeves seem pop up.”
HA! Welcome to my world!!
LAQUINTISHA!
Xbrad was a chubby kid.
http://i.imgur.com/JtkyV.jpg
Well, dammit!
Mrs. Andy and I got our wires crossed, and I am not at my RTC meeting but am watching the chirrens.
Mare, our boyfriend kicked Ben Bernanke in the balls today. Kudlow’s showing it now.
hello boys and girls.
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/house/new-york-rep-chris-lee-resigns.html
They call that technique The Jewstin™.
Great summary, Teresa!
Andy, suck it up…
Hell, I call that technique “The Fishing Expedition”
I have been noticing lately that a lot of people pronounce “str” as “shtr”.
Are you in Germany? Try not being in Germany.
I am. It was completely her fault, but I took the bullet for it.
*polishes Husband of the Year plaque*
*polishes Husband of the Year plaque*
*Aggie looks at the 163 “Wife of the Year” awards on her mantle*
Heh!
I hope it’s not an ass plaque.
Leon, we’d speculated that your D&D player got fucked to death by a Jabberwocky and you were trying to cast a Level 45 spell to get yourself out of the Island of Lesbia.
It was completely her fault, but I
took the bullet for itwanted to have sex again sometime this century.FTFY
LEON!!!!!
*jumps on Leon
I figured he was busy trying to knock up his wife.
They call that technique The Jewstin™.
Better that than the Brett Favre(tm)
I am microwaving ass potatoes for the first time. My oven actually has a button that says potato. When you press it it asks for the number of potatoes.
Rosetta, bend over.
Mare, you may just want to bookmark this: http://www.youtube.com/user/HouseBudgetCommittee
Better that than the Brett Favre(tm)
+128 gameballs
ust hours after a Web site reported that the married congressman had sent a shirtless image of himself to a woman he met on Craigslist.
Anyone who answers an ad from ME on Craigslist is gonna get a picture of my cock.
I’ve just been busy, period. Between work, the gym, and navigating snowmaggedon I’ve been too pooped to comment.
*debates on whether he wants to see Car In’s cock*
*answers ad*
Thanks, Andy, bookmarked it is!
Leon’s not back five minutes and he kilt the poat…
Okay, I may be a hick, 50 year old woman but is it or is it not IDIOTIC to take a picture of yourself in ANY compromising position, pose or state of dress?
WTH?????????
Wonder how long it’ll be before some AOL stockholder sues to block the HuffPo merger.
I’m on my third glass of wine. Where’s hotspur?
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!
Excellent picture, Teresa.
However that’s more my reaction to the cutting than Floyd’s. He seem pretty sanguine about losing the ball luggage.
Much like leon.
IDIOTIC to take a picture of yourself in ANY compromising position, pose or state of dress?
*decides not to share a picture of my cock with Mare.
Mare, it is, if you plan on posting it on a public domain like the internet.
But I did a boudoir pic for hubby one year, for his birthday. He appreciated it very much.
NOTHING SHOWED, pervs…
Also, dickbrain, if you’re going to send a picture of yourself to impress someone, that one is LAME…….Lord, please save me from all politicians (except Paul Ryan who is still my boyfriend).
http://tinyurl.com/47t2htg
Wonder how long it’ll be before some AOL stockholder
sues to block the HuffPo mergerlunges from a bridge.Fixeted.
I think it’s extremely idiotic for a PUBLIC /ELECTED person to send a picture such as that over the internet. He is obviously too stupid to feed at the trough.
FAIL.
What an asshat.
I could care less what pictures you hosefochers send each other.
Aggie, did you send it over the internet?
I’m assuming because it wasn’t dirty, and you’re married and it was intended for your husband that if it got derailed online…..not a big deal. And that’s assuming you sent it over the internet.
Okay, I may be a hick, 50 year old woman but is it or is it not IDIOTIC to take a picture of yourself in ANY compromising position, pose or state of dress?
Listen…if you want me to friend you on faceballchimpnuts, you need to send me a picture of a little pussy playing with yarn.
39 ? Bahaa haaa… And I’m 33,
Who wants to rassle?
However that’s more my reaction to the cutting than Floyd’s. He seem pretty sanguine about losing the ball luggage.
I’m pretty sanguine about Floyd losing his balls, if that’s your meaning.
Who wants to rassle?
*puts on barefoot shoes.
LET’s GO.
mare, hell, no!!!
It was done by a friend who is a professional photographer. Also, a female.
Hubby keeps it locked up in the filing cabinet, under “tax audits”
I’m pretty sanguine about Floyd losing his balls, if that’s your meaning.
Floyd says that, as a man, he finds your sanguinity disturbing.
http://tinyurl.com/6zmzded
Ok, current book I’m reading – Incareeron. I’m enjoying it. Y/A lit (I’m reading all the books I gave my teens as a break from the heavier stuff). So far? pretty good. After this, I’ll read something heavier.
Lord, also save me from pictures of men, women and anyone else taking pictures of themselves in the mirror.
I’d rather see Floyd’s balls on a sterile tray than look at those kinds of “Gee, I’m hot (not)”
pictures.
Crap. How did that happen? Whatever.
If it helps, I’m really more of a phlegmatic personality.
Who wants to rassle?
*puts on barefoot shoes.
LET’s GO.
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
*Car In wins because I was laughing at her barefoot shoes*
DAMMIT!!!
Anyway, that’s the book I’m currently reading.
Right, Aggie, because you’re not dumb. And even if you did send it over the internet, you’re not a public figure with a lot to lose. I feel like Carin does.
It’s a WIN.
I’ll take it.
Barefoot shoes are like jumbo shrimp.
*puts on barefoot shoes.
LET’s GO.”
hahahahahahaha…..funny woman.
Floyd, how awesome are barefoot shoes?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjkJfMrQ4bc
Yea, private people can make fools out of themselves. But public folks?
Debbie Stabenow should have been kicked out of office because her husband was stupid enough to get caught picking up hookers. Guilt by association? OK by me.
Dammit, I hate rebooting. Effin’ windows.
Liberals get a pass on that shit, Carin.
Rebooting? What is this rebooting of which you speak?
*smug Mac user
Zeke moped for a week, and Bear was pissed too, but only for a day.
Then he was back to being my Beer Bear
sorry ^ was addressed to Rosie and Floyd
Liberals fight it. Conservatives give notice.
I mean, look at what that others asshole did – Charlie Rangel.
If he’d been a conservative, he would have given notice right away.
HA, me too Carin. Andy and Hotspur are also. No popups, viruses and continual updates. My computer only slows down when I have iphoto or itunes open.
We knew what you meant, Vman…..I like Beer Bear.
I think I need to take Oskar in to the Vet. He’s been limping. He occasionally runs to hard through the woods and hurts something … and it goes away.
But he’s been limping for a few days now.
I’m just afraid I’m going to take him in, they’re going to x-ray him, etc … then say he injured it and it just needs time.
sigh.
I’ve checked his pad – there doesn’t seem to be anything in it. I think he hurt it (his leg ) higher up. He doesn’t say boo when I check it, but when I though up high on his leg he shakes a bit.
This poat has been updated to showcase new mad video embedding skillz.
Zeke moped for a week, and Bear was pissed too, but only for a day.
Then he was back to being my Beer Bear
Vmax, the vet said that Floyd should be calm for a week because of the stitches. No steps and no jumping. Floyd vehemently disagrees. He’s all over the place.
But I will say, when we give him his pain medication, he runs into walls which is new.
You know, nothing makes me rage harder than a teacher so incompetent they make their own assignments difficult not by design, but by the fact that even THEY don’t know what they want the finished product to look like.
My ASL teacher gave us an assignment to write an essay about the history of ASL. 3-5 pages. APA FORMAT. What the fucking fuck? Was MLA just not fancy enough for you!? You had to use a format that only about 2 people in the entire class are familiar with, and which doesn’t lend itself to the type of paper you want written AT ALL? Oh, and we’re not allowed to talk in class, only sign, so even if we were to attempt to ask her a question about the paper, WE CAN’T, because none of us have a large enough sign vocabulary to ask anything specific.
*rantbitchmoan*
… I hate this paper.
We are going to freeze over here but no one is going to say anything since the city just shut down last Friday
We are going to freeze over here but no one is going to say anything since the city just shut down last Friday
That’s it.
*laces butter with strychnine*
*leaves butter out*
HEY!!!! WHO ATE ALL THE BUTTER!?!?!
http://tinyurl.com/lgc6za
OH SHIT!!!!
Chill, Revvy. The coprorate world recently cut over to APA entirely after a team of McKinsey consultants documented the billions of dollars of productivity lost annually due to MLA.
.
.
.
.
Bwahahahahaha
*refiles APA and MLA under “Shit You’ll Never Use Again”*
We have both a Mac and a WinTel here.
Hey, you son of a bitch……Kiss my Floyds.
*eat this butter,Chubby McFatting*
*EAT IT!!!!*
http://tinyurl.com/6czxskk
Huh?
The modern academy is nearly worthless outside the hard sciences. Revvy’s testimony is further evidence of that fact.
Mare, does new puss have a name yet?
Rosetta, did you see the mad video embed?
That was hilarious!
Will some nice person tell me what APA and MLA are, or do I need to look it up?
Heheh
http://tinyurl.com/6gsmclv
Kitten Update:
He’s so cute and sweet and funny that I have a hard time not looking at him all day. He likes to stretch out in front of the fire. He also likes to sit on my lap and stare at my face and purr, he sleeps all night curled up next to me, he carries his toy piece of paper in his mouth and jumps on a chair to drop it and chase it. And he loves to have his tummy and face kissed. He’s a purring machine.
I still don’t know his name and I don’t know why. I’ve been calling him Scamp and PJ (for Piper and Puka junior). My husband still likes D’Artangon, My oldest daughter likes Hobie (for Hobie cat) and my youngest likes them all.
http://twitter.com/#!/jimgeraghty/status/35507706592763904
Fuck. China is building thorium-fueled molten salt reactors. Perfecting a technology we invented 40 years ago in Oak Ridge.
WAF
Leon – Week-old news.
Andy, what did you use to embed, Vodpod?
That Chicago teacher union video is EXACTLY why I can’t stomach hanging around teachers.
“Save our kids”
Yeah, right, money is going to save your student….it’s been proven that’s crap.
Yep, xbrad.
*hopes Mrs. Peel doesn’t flip out
Leon – Week-old news.
I know, I’m just still mad about it.
I honestly believe that my teacher has no fucking clue what APA format is. It just sounded all official-like, and it was before MLA alphabetically, so we’re using that for our papers. *headdesk*
***********IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL POLITICIANS************
We are watching you, the other side of the political spectrum is watching you particularly closely. You cannot get away with stuff if you are a Republican……don’t try. There are no such things as secrets.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?
Here’s a WSJ op-ed (that mare can’t read) about the Range Fuels thing I mentioned in my poat earlier today.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704364004576132453701004530.html
>> I honestly believe that my teacher has no fucking clue
what APA format is.Better?
Great little trick, ain’t it, Andi?
Yeah, that’s neat.
It solves about 20% of my complaints about WordPOS.com.
Miller Time!
On O’Reilly
I guess now is not the time to say I’m getting back into teaching?
Sohos, you’re not a douche, you’re awesome, so no. We could use more teachers like you.
“Hahahahahahahahahaha!!
Excellent picture, Teresa.”
You are unpossible.
roamy check your facechimp IM thingymabob
I have been noticing lately that a lot of people pronounce “str” as “shtr”.
It shows you the wide ranging influence of Jeff Foxworthy.
If you need a good laugh, the Yahoo! Finance message board for AOL is a pretty good source of teh funneh: http://bit.ly/gvajJo
Iowahawk on FaceTaint: A Nelson Muntz moment: market value of AOL + market value of Huffington Post – $315m = market value of AOL – $315m. The market values HuffPo at precisely $0.00.
Now I have to change my email to something other than AOL.
“It shows you the wide ranging influence of Jeff Foxworthy.”
PJM needs to have a word with him.
I’m not really
Whatever you do Mare, don’t use gmail.
$315 million, you know there has to be a tax write off…loss…..exemption somewhere.
It’s beyond stupid.
Andy, I just used vodpod to swipe that sniper vid from the sidebar at Ace’s.
For those who follow eastern astrology (i.e. all of you) this is now the year of the Leon.
Scott, I know you mentioned I should have a gmail account, I think I do, hope I remember the passwords, etc..
Important Baby Update added.
Can someone tell me what the significance of the fake cowboy in the header pic is? I’m to culturally illiterate to recognize who the douche is or what it’s supposed to symbolize.
Well Done, Frau Morgenholz!!
Welcome to the world, baby morningwood. Congrats hm. Now go get some sleep.
The purchase accounting on that one’s gonna be interesting for AOL, that’s for sure.
The deal hasn’t closed yet, though, and it doesn’t look like AOL is seeking stockholder approval. I guarantee you some lawyer at Milberg is doing the Iowahawk math right now and looking for a lead plaintiff.
Awwww, a baby!
Congratulations, Morgenkind.
Yeah Herr! Outstanding!
CONGRATS TO MRS. HM!!!
And to you, HM, since you had something to do with this tiny miracle
*throws confetti*
Congrats hm. Now go get some sleep.
I’m fucking toast. But you couldn’t expect it to go any better than it did. Damn near leisurely compared to the others. Everybody done good. And that baby they kept saying wasn’t growing? 6 lb 9 oz and 20 inches. Fuckers.
PG, that’s the lead character from Justified, which you should be watching.
The best, best news, Herr. FANTASTIC. Warm wishes to the whole family.
Sophia is beautiful!!!!
*throws confetti*
Did you happen to notice there were little bags of dicks in your confetti? Cuz that kinda stung.
Seriously, to all you knee mailers out there, I have no doubt you had a lot to do with how well this turned out. Add a “PS, Thank you” if’n you get a chance.
Congrats to the new personage entering the world and his attendants.
Leon, I’m sure there’s some good shit on TV, but I’ve completely gotten out of the habit of watching anything other than news and sports. I used to watch Bernie Mac pretty regular and then the motherfucker went and died.
Her attendants? Pfwah, I know nothing.
Cute baby.
Yeah!!!!! Herr & Frau Morgenholz!!!
Not to go TMI, but with just her head out she was bitching and crying and coughing. And that “look at me I’m dead ghostly purple color” had a lifespan of about 15 seconds. She’s pink and perfect and meaner than snake shit. Gets it from her mother.
I hear that, PG. Justified is about the only fiction I still watch. I’ve absolutely burnt out on most TV that isn’t that or Dirty Jobs.
I have a technical question. . .
What do you call the shadow of the mouse on the 2nd moon?
Dammit, I’m craving more food. I’mma go crack a few eggs.
Night night time. Out. Thanks all.
Yo mama.
Or Muad Dib.
Congratulations again, Herr.
She’s beautiful.
What do you call the shadow of the mouse on the 2nd moon?
I’m not sure what she calls it, but the stage name attached to that hiney is “Trixie Fire”.
Awwwww what a sweet baby!!! Congrats!!!
Congrats HM!
Wish you well on the sleep for the next 6 months.
Baby!! Congrats Herr, she’s gorgeous. =)
Did anybody give anybody else the old heave-ho today?
Oh, yeah, congrats on the baby, Herr & Frau.
I nearly gave myself the heave-ho after I watched Bill Whittle’s video on private spaceflight.
This thread will die yet, by mine own hand!
Kilt teh vodka
opening ten Buffalo Trace
I’ve been known to heave here and there. Usually after a long night of drinking.
I’ve never given myself a ho. But it’s starting to seem like a plausible scenario.
I’m watching that right now, leon. Has Roamy commented on it?
If Roamy’s said anything, I didn’t see it. I had tears by the end, mostly because a 5yo me piped up in the middle and said “Remember when we were gonna be an astronaut?”
Herr, your baby just made me uterus flip. Absolutely freaking adorable.
mwah mwah mwah! I have no idea whether it’s a boy or girl, but I want to kiss that baby ALL over!
Congratulations, Herr and Frau!
Leon, I haven’t seen that Bill Whittle video yet. I’m pretty discouraged with NASA these days.
I think I found a couple of openings at Bigelow Aerospace for which I almost qualify.
PJM, get your damn dirty hands off that baby, it’s mine!!!
Shoot me a email Leon
I might qualify as a m monkey clicke
Err Cad tech
r
my bad
Vmax, I’m reading here. We could both move out there and stalk Skylia Ember.
There’s good stuff and bad stuff at work every day, but repeatedly getting the notice for the Professional Women Presentation, “How to Excel at Work and Energize Your Life – Work/Life Balance (With Emphasis on Breaking the Glass Ceiling).” just fucking pissed me off today. The NASA deputy administrator is a woman. There’s been at least one woman center director. We’ve had women commanding the space shuttle AND the space station. WHAT GLASS CEILING?!?!?
Get outta my way with that shit.
And Excelling at Work? I do my job, and I’m damn good at it when I’m not fucking hobbled with a crapped-out broken heart.
Welcome, Baby Sophia!
If you are on a diet, do NOT make Crash Hot Potatos. They are delicious, and you will eat too much!
Congrats, Herr, even though you’re in bed!
The most annoying messages I get are about recycling, so you have my sympathies.
Heh, it’s kinda fun watching Raylan and his boss on Justified, knowing the boss (Nick Searcy) is an Ace type moron.
Yay! No more stupid paper!
I like how even when I’m stressing and flipping out over a paper I can still research and write it in about 2 hours.
Nothing feels better than getting the work done, eh?
I really, really hate the G.E. Line dancing commercial. I hate it Mom!!!
I’m liking Justified so far. It has the requisite level of gunfire.
Even the commercials are cool in this episode.
I LOVE JUSTIFIED.
I hope he shoots that sex offender in Floyd’s nut……hey, we still have 15 minutes.
Bedtime. Too tired to type.
Herr, what a cutie-pie! Looks like she’s gonna take you guys for a wild ride…..
Is Sean here? I want to buy Sean a drink. Aaron Rogers went to Berkeley and there are about two people I like from Berkeley, Sean and Aaron.
Those sentences are not related but somehow they got all meshed up.
IT WON’T BE ON FOR SOME OF US FOR ANOTHER TWO HOURS!
A LITTLE COURTESY, PLEASE???
Herr, please give us more pictures.
In the last ten years houston has only dropped into the 20′s 3 days hahahaha we have had 5 so far this year…Gore is a genius
Ok, I like Justified again this season. Great cast!
Yeah, this looks good.
I needed a new show with the demise of 24, and anything that’s TV-MALSDVXYZ has a good head start.
‘Night all.
Congratulations Herr!
I’m going to eat a chicken cordon bleu sammich right now to celebrate.
With fries, pickle slices, and bourbon.
*shocks poat, checks for pulse
Nope, it’s a goner
Der?
Raylan did not disappoint tonight. The new villian family looks intriquing.
Can’t remember her name, but the mom is great. Liked her (hated her character) in Million Dollar Baby.
Man, I must be the only guy on this blog who doesn’t watch that show.
Human Target’s season on Fox network ended tonight too, Sean. That’s another one you should have been watching.
Hint: If it’s a drama on FX, and even on Fox Network, there’s a way better than even chance it’ll be pretty darn good.
I just never started, and Justified seems like the kind of thing you should watch from the beginning.
I’ve seen bits of Human Target, and it seems pretty entertaining.
Because they’re together now, we can punch two, two, two liberals in the poon at the same time:
http://is.gd/MUt0HT
Actually, Sean, one could go to Justified’s webpage, peruse the background on the series and probably be okay to jump into this second season. As many other Hostages will tell you, it’s one of the best shows on the tube.
I’m here to poop on the poat. Kneel before me!
Do any of you mouth-breathing droolers live in or near Las Vegas?
Lipstick does Paulitics.
Goodnight all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN2VNFpiGWo&feature=related
Hahahahahahahaha!!!
Kidnapper on crime drama: “We want five million dollars in diamonds or your daughter is dead.”
*roll opening credits*
Commercial announcer: “Brought to you by Kay Jewelers. Get her a diamond she’ll never forget this Valentine’s Day.”
Wherefore art thou, Lipstick?
“Wherefore” actually means “why.”
/pedant
ok, who’s turn is it to buff my corns?
NOT IT!
It’s 47 degrees outside. I can’t take this anymore.
brrrrrrr!
ok, who’s turn is it to buff my corns?
It’s clintbird’s turn.
Actually, it’s his turn every day.
clintbird uses his teeth. It tickles waaaay too much
buff my corns
There’s an anagram in there somewhere, but I’m not sure what it is. I am sure that somehow it’s dirty.
Holy cow! There’s actually a picture of clintbird gnawing away at my corns on the internet. That’s just amazing.
There’s an anagram in there somewhere
No there’s not.
Prove it.
There’s an anagram in there somewhere, but I’m not sure what it is. I am sure that somehow it’s dirty.
cuffs by morn
well, that works
I’ll be damned
Listen, Missy… I sat in traffic on the 15 for FIVE HOURS today on my way to Vegas. I KNOW there is an anagram in there, probably involving the word “muff,” and also needing to buy at least two vowels.
But now that I’m here I don’t give a rat’s ass.
Plus the Newcastle is cold. Need I say more?
Need I say more?
yes
Gavin, my baby, my youngest child is going to be 5 tomorrow. I discovered Ace of Spades while I was pregnant with him. Poor kid……no wonder.
You mean Ace is his . . .
No, I can’t say it.
{{{SHUDDER}}}
scrub my fob
Is Gavin kinda hairy?
“Yub-Nub”
>.> hlo?
‘Ello, ‘ello, mizzus.
*realizes I sound like Jack the Ripper/Benny Hill*
Hi there, Revvy. How goes it?
Otay, you?
I’m good. How did you and yer dad end up here?
We’ve both been lurkers on Ace for years. We ended up going to some of the first CT meat-ups – met quite a few of the people on here (wiser, lauraw, and rosetta for sure). Wiser told Dad to post on this site, but Dad felt like he couldn’t keep up with the level of banter on here, so he chickened out on it until the SOTU, which for some reason he decided was a good time to start posting.
I’ve met wiserbud, xbrad, and Andy. All of them are decent guys.
I hear that lauraw’s hump is actually kinda sexy.
I have not met Sean.
All of him is not a decent guy
And yes, lauraw’s hump is very sexy.
Do I really want to to watch 127 Hours?
***gnaw…gnaw….gnaw***
Don’t think I would have waited 127 hours.
The nice thing is that the people who met me remembered me , cause I was the only teen bopping around the meat-up that was actually there to talk politics.
All of him is not a decent guy
Just because one of my hands is a chainsaw doesn’t mean that it’s not decent. We just had a bunch of high winds here, and I feel that I did some really good work.
Hail to The King, baby.
Yeah, and you were great in that old video game.
Way to rest on your laurels.
There was a meat up?
And a teen?
Shows what I get for not hanging around THE PLACE THAT I CREATED.
Nice to meet you Revvy, don’t let Sean or Xbrad scare you off.
The fact that I’m resting on an entirely different bunch of laurels–which you should recognize as the origin of your insult–I forgot where I was going with this.
I am now going to eat some awesome Texas sausage and watch a movie about some hippie goofball who took way too long to chop his arm off.
Carry on.
an entirely different bunch of laurels–
Yeah, you swore me to secrecy.
HE WAS NOT A HIPPIE!!! YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!!
There was a meat up?
And a teen?
Shows what I get for not hanging around THE PLACE THAT I CREATED.
Nice to meet you Revvy, don’t let Sean or Xbrad scare you off.
I’ll be fine I think, but thanks. Besides, the meat-up I went to was a couple years ago – not a teen anymore. You’ll prolly run into my Dad at some point too Mesa – he’s on here as well.
Ok, Read upthread — Wiser told Dad to post on this site, but Dad felt like he couldn’t keep up with the level of banter on here, so he chickened out on it until the SOTU, which for some reason he decided was a good time to start posting.
The level of banter here — used to hard to keep up with. Now it is a mess of gossip and complaints about hip pain from certain old Navy types.
Just saying, anyone can keep up. Please do.
Who’s your daddy?
I am now going to eat some awesome Texas sausage
Uhhhhmmm…nope.
Just. Too. Fucking. Easy.
Sean, I don’t live in Cali, sausage is just sausage.
Stop trying to put a George Michaels in the men’s room at your local park reference into every joke.
We don’t all share your life experience.
Dad goes by West – look for a Harry Mudd avi.
not a teen anymore.
You weren’t the guy with the purple shirt and the white socks were you?
Will do.
Now off to watch the hippie movie.
Take care.
Gunny Hartman didn’t talk about how the only things to come out of “Cali” were steers and queers.
I’m just saying is all.
Ok, first 30 seconds into the movie — they show him not being able to find his swiss army knife.
Whoah.
What does this mean?
Don’tmind Mesa, Revvy. He’s poorly socialized. His “parents” didn’t ever take him to the park.
Heh, we disown Private Cowboy.
You weren’t the guy with the purple shirt and the white socks were you?
Ummm….. *looks down. Sees boobs* Nope, don’t think so.
Oh, they took him to the park — where he met Hostages.
Scarred for life.
You could, uh, maybe…move the boobs aside?
Hands could sort of be of use there.
Sorry, West.
I hope you weren’t at the meat up in CT where that guy showed up. He was kinda scary.
Must update my last comment. Took “her.”
Sorry about that. Avatar is most definitely a girl.
http://www.realmofdarkness.net/sounds/fmj/sgthartman-soundboard-1.htm
Which guy? The Pirate guy?
Sean, Internet creepy, is still creepy.
Hasn’t stopped you before — just sayin.
Gonna go watch Red Eye. See you late night foax later.
(Everything mesa says about me is a filthy lie.)
Sure it is Sean.
There was a meat up in CT where a guy showed up who was looking for another group. Thought he had the right group — but, was definitely not the right group. Back then, we didn’t all know what the rest of us looked like.
He decided that he liked the Hostage group better than his group — after he hung around for several hours before figuring it out. Hostage group was slightly mortified.
Picture 400 pound guy in a purple t-shirt and shorts with white striped socks glomming onto anyone he could find and hitting on their wives/girlfriends while getting in every picture.
Beautiful.
Can I just weigh in to says Adobe’s licensing procedure sucks Floyd’s balls? I have to get Photoshop running in the AM and it refuses to launch on my box despite the fact I deactivated it on the old dead machine. Now I have to talk to Apu or some dick at Adobe and try to get this fixed or I lose work tomorrow. Shithead license Nazis. A dongle would be less trouble.
There was a pirate guy?
Oh wait, I think I saw pictures of that one. Heh, different guy.
Thank God.
And sorry, I’ve been offending hippies.
This guy is a hip-STER.
Something that would be left behind when a hippie took a turd.
I could use a pirate right now.
Or — a pirate bay.
I did not say this.
If you have a valid copy, download a keygen. Use your copy, then when Apu gets back to you, re-install with yours.
Also, your antivirus will go nuts on a keygen because of all the hxeadecimal crap. If you get the highest rated one with thousands of sharers – don’t worry about it.
Yeah, don’t think I was around for that guy’s appearance. I hope I can make the next meat-up, I’ve missed going to them. But Dad wasn’t feeling too hot, and I’ve been in school.
*hexadecimal
Well, gotta say, any dad that would bring his teen daughter (who is not now a teen) to a Hostage meat up is a very cool dude — or nuts.
Either way, nice to meet you and hope to meet him.
Nice to meet you too Mesa =) I’m sure Dad’ll be glad to meet you too.
All the fun I’ve been making of the movie — actually pretty good so far.
Except that no mountain biker would jump in on dirt roads when there a trails around.
I’m still upset that nobody made me a fake leg.
I would have just settled for a fake foot. Or a pair of comfortable Gucci loafers that were a size too big. Either way.
Also, youse CT guys should have sent b-rad a box of Tic-Tacs. And not the orange ones. That would’ve been cruel.
Movie was good.
Want to watch something that is actually about great men doing great things — watch Restrepo.
I have to pick up the other three kids in half an hour. Fucking “employed” in-laws.
And it’s -5. FUCK YOU WINTER!
Congrats Herr!!!! She’s beautiful!
*puts on barefoot shoes, gets in car, heads south while Herr and Frau are still tired
Did I tell you guys I’m expecting a baby? Yea … I just never mentioned it. I think it’s gonna be a girl. Just a guess.
See you guys in (checks mileage) in about 10 hours! Get ready to congratulate me! I have a feeling today is gonna be the big day!
wakey wakey
-1 here. don’t know what the wind chill is.
The bus has been picking my boys up at the driveway this week because of the cold.
I don’t know why they can’t do that always. Stupid bus shed.
Ray LaHood is such an asshole.
*** Rummages in the “Boss”s night stand ***
*** Tosses two Extra Small Condoms and a Ball Gag to SeaNm ***
Best I can do on err..uhh.. Short Notice …
Congrats Frau, Herr!!
*** Starts Fund to replace the obviously broken T.V. in their Bedroom ***
Oh, and “BEWARE” of Wild Eyed Cute Females* knocking on your Front Door yelling “Wakey Wakey”…
* Note the Female here. Not to be confused with the Beer-Gutted, Dirty Tee-Shirt Wearing, Knuckle-Dragging, Drooling, Foul Smelling, Oil Patch Refugee, Pendejo Grande, A.K.A Adolescent WiserBud…
Oh, and “BEWARE” of Wild Eyed Cute Females* knocking on your Front Door yelling “Wakey Wakey”
Oh, I’m sneakier than that. I”m going to pose as a “lactation consultant.”
*rubs hand together.
THIS IS GOING TO WORK GREAT!
BIG NEWS FRIENDS, I think I’m dilated to 3!
Now I am going to be saying all day Car in gets in Car
Its 20 degrees outside!!! Win The Future!
She has played the “Lactation” Card, A.K.A. KatKryptonite. If only we could find a Noble Female, WITH MOTOR SKILLZ to hold Ms. Carin back from going all Lady Astronut…
*** Runs up the White Flag of Surrender ***
Off to MMMouseHHHunt…
Its cold here too…
Cool new (to me) ab things here. They’re NOT crunches, so they look kinda fun.
This concludes today fitness tip.
Moving on … next up? Recipes.
Mornin’
Morning. I think I’m going to make split pea soup tonight. It was mentioned a few days ago, and sounds pretty good. I have a few hame bones in the freezer that I could use…
Plus its rainy and cool today.
Yes, good idea MJ. It’s yummy.
I sauteed veggies for about 45 min and then added ‘em (America’s Test Kitchen recipe) and it turned out really well. Very rich flavor.
Two inches of snow with ice last night. Schools and roads closed. Good morning, Hostages!
Jeez Roamy, you guys have had a lot of snow this year. More school missed there than here in IA, that’s for sure.
Also, Car in, you could have warned me about how delicious Crash Hot Potatoes are. Had way too many of em last night. That one is getting made over and over!
Sorry
Yes, they are very yummy but rather off-limits.
Jay, yes, we have had a lot this year.
**shakes fist at Al Gore
Dang, this place is DEAD this morning. How can I be entertained, in such a desert?
Morning all.
My dogs have realized that, this year, the snow has a strong top crust that supports their weight. They now love running across the snow in addition to the paths I’ve made for them.
I think the snow is going to be in my yard and at the end of my driveway until the taxes are due. I can’t even pull straight in or out of my garage because of the snow mounds.
Thanks, Al Gore (you stupid fucking blowhard).
Reading the ACU ratings, and wondering:
How the hell is McCain ranked a 100, and Paul Ryan a 96? Even Steve King of IA is a 96! McCain is also ranked higher than Kyl. I call shenanigans.
Also, I think the total score of MA is 84, and Scott Brown is 74 of that. He still scored higher than the Maine Twins and Mookowski.
* Note the Female here. Not to be confused with the Beer-Gutted, Dirty Tee-Shirt Wearing, Knuckle-Dragging, Drooling, Foul Smelling, Oil Patch Refugee, Pendejo Grande, A.K.A Adolescent WiserBud…
Where the fuck did that come from. I’ve been slandered. I wear clean shirts and smell damned decent for at least part of the day. Most days.
Fucking 4 degrees this morning when I left the house. I can count the number of times the temp has hit single digits in the Permian Basin in the last 25 years on one hand. Until this year. We’ve had 5 or 6 mornings of them in the last two weeks. It’s bullshit is what it is.
The ACU ratings are crap, J’Ames.
I don’t need them to tell me who’s conservative and who’s not.
McCain = 100 = Perfect Conservative. Pffft.
Awesomeness. Mrs MJ is going to get her hair colored after work, so I have some time to myself to fuck around in the kitchen.
I can see why Palin doesn’t want to speak at CPAC, given that the ACU is the one putting it on.
I really hate politics, sometimes.
Why is Abilene Christian University getting involved in political rankings anyway?
the coffee is not working… THE COFFEE IS NOT WORKING!!!
I really hate politics, sometimes.
Then you aren’t paying attention sometimes.
Texas leads the way, PG.
THE COFFEE IS NOT WORKING!!!
Kill yourself now.
Then you aren’t paying attention sometimes.
I gotta sleep!
THE COFFEE IS NOT WORKING!!!
Try plugging it in.
It’s a brisk 9 degrees here in sunny Nashvegas. Birds are falling out of the sky, frozen. My balls continue their extended hibernation this winter. The kids are home from school for the 8th time THIS YEAR.
Yet, algore lives.
Try plugging it in.
– - – - –
F that, I’m just chewing on the coffee beans now!
Did somebody say recipes?
I’m having some family and friends over for a dinner party in a couple weeks. Doing it up Asian.
Lumpia rolls with spicy peanut sauce for appematizer, and then I wanted a Thai entree featuring beef.
I see these recipes for beef satay.
Beef Satay? Sound good to you? Have any of you guys had it? I may have to visit a local thai place and try it first.
This recipe for grilled apple-juice marinated beef that you pick up with lettuce leaves looked terrific (http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/korean-grilled-beef) but I’m going to save it for Spring. Because.
My grill is entombed in hard snow. I usually grill all Winter, in blizzards. But now I’m suffering from grillile dysfunction.
This has never happened to me before, baby. Let’s just hold each other andt hink warm thoughts.
F that, I’m just chewing on the coffee beans now!
It’s better than chewing tobacco.
It’s better than chewing tobacco.
– - – -
I was forced to quit that, cold turkey, exactly one week after meeting my future wife!
My grill was buried last year. I had to wait until March to grill stuff, again. It was terrible. I had to sit and stare at the pile of snow that used to be my grill.
I feel your pain, lauraw.
Lauraw, I’ve made chicken satay; it’s pretty good.
I feel like less of a man.
Farg, it’s cold. Carin, you better bring the chickens in the house. Leave your cock outside.
I make a ton of different curries, if you ever want the recipes. It seems complicated, but is very easy once you get the prep work done.
Whattaya mean? It’s already up to +1 out now.
It’s like a heat wave.
now I’m suffering from grillile dysfunction.
I had an uncle who had that. He died from it.
Let’s just hold each other andt hink warm thoughts.
Is that where the term “hinky” comes from?
Leave your cock outside.
Well, at least it will get hard, then. A form of cheap Viagra for you old guys?
WHOO HOO!! It’s a balmy 25* here in South Texas!!!
*slips into a T-shirt*
My grille be mostly veneers.
“Just” a t-shirt. Aggie?
Yeah, Chief, but how much bling did you have mounted on the grille?
It’s a long T-shirt, AD.
Ad- Gold AND Platinum!
I see that Herr has a new offspring, but no mention of boy/girl or name.
We should refer to the children of our members as HostageBrats.
I see that Herr has a new offspring, but no mention of boy/girl or name.
Girl. Sophie (Sophia?).
We should refer to the children of our members as HostageBrats.
Can’t call em that, Car in eats brats.
Oh wow, I just saw the baby update.
*SQUUEEEEEEEE!!!!*
Congratulations to the Morgenholtzeses!
Herr Sophia – from a few days old poat
*refresh dammit, refresh*
Speaking of babies, the picture TiFW put up for this post makes me laugh every time I see it.
Well done!
Rosetta?
http://is.gd/ouJAiu
Yea, Sophie. It’s a cute name. I’ll think I’ll keep it after I swipe the baby.
OOPS, did I say that out loud?
There was the CUTTEST little 2 y/o yesterday doing some sort of kiddie gymnastics class.
OMG. I was beside myself.
She was like a little genius. Followed directions wonderfully, but was still really young. When the teacher wasn’t looking she snuck on the min-trampoline and started jumping.
The look of joy on that kid’s face.
*melts
A prison rebellion I’m all for from Ace’s sidebar.
They killed 6 pedophiles during their “uprising” and that’s what they want to tone it down?
Call me cold, but I’m seeing this as a win/win.
Ok, one last comment, then I’m gone …
Michelle defends WH Superbowl fare, as part of “balance”.
So … Michelle, why do you have to attack restaurants? When I go out, why the heck should I be eating raw veggies and fruit ? Why can’t my kids eat fries on the RARE occasion when we eat out. Why doesn’t that fall under your “balance” – treat days, then go back to watching what you eat?
She needs to STFU.
What is wrong with people?
Moonbattery: Children Commune With Sacred Polar Bears
Just because they make cute commercials doesn’t make them any less dangerous. See results of other such encounters (also Moonbattery).
I think that marinaded beef with lettuce leaves is called bulgogi. It is fantastic. There are restaurants in Korea that specialize in just that dish. You sear the meat at your table on a hot griddle and then eat it with your fingers, wrapped in a lettuce leaf. It’s kind of the Korean version of BBQ.
There was the CUTTEST little 2 y/o yesterday doing some sort of kiddie gymnastics class.
My niece was like that. She really enjoyed it at that age. Now she’s older, and enrolled in advanced classes, 3 hours a day. Very determined little girl, and very athletic.
The look of joy might be muted now, but it’s replaced by the mask of determination. I don’t know which one I enjoy more.
Mmmm, bulgogi sounds awesome, and fairly easy to make.
A lot of Korean food is hard for Westerners to get used to. For example, the signature national dish, kimchi, is basically spicy rotten cabbage. But everybondy loves bulgogi. It’s the safe thing to order if you’re ever in a Korean restaurant and not sure what to get.
Is anyone else nervous about Meryl Streep playing the part of Maggie Thatcher? Or am I just holding “Prairie Home Companion” against her?
Heh, sounds like the whole movie is a big hit piece against The Iron Lady.
Big Hollywood: Photo: Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher In Upcoming Cinematic Hit Job
I don’t like it either, and Prairie Home Companion has nothing to do with it, since I never saw it. Used to like Garrison Keillor too, but he’s taken the Roger Ebert path to success, it seems.
So, kimchi = spicy sauerkraut? The Korean restaurant in town smells great on the outside, but since the wife isn’t fond of Asian cuisine we haven’t gone there. Maybe I’ll go by myself.
I’ll pass on the kimchi, as I can’t stand sauerkraut.
Oh wow, now I can hardly wait to try it.
I saw another recipe for it that used hanger steak.
But hanger steak is well-nigh impossible to find in these parts.
Don’t waste your time on Prairie Home Companion, Jay. I lost 10 IQ points.
PHC was awful, Roamy. I didn’t last ten minutes, and after that I had to go read the lexicon to regain what I had lost.
The Margaret Thatcher movie is a complete rewrite of history, with her family scandals (about her son, etc) predominantly displayed. My Brit friends are beyond appalled.
Hmm, lauraw, sounds like flank steak or skirt steak would be a suitable cut for bulgogi.
I cannot stand Meryl Streep – surely the most overrated actress in history.
I know what everyone here is getting for Valentine’s Day!
GOPValentine
this poat stinks
I started listening to A Prairie Home Companion in 1980. Listened faithfully every week for years and years. About 8 years ago I got fed up. I don’t even turn it on anymore.
I used to donate to my local NPR affiliate when it first started, about 1978. The music was fantastic. Then it got more and more and more liberal with news and other local interest stories. I haven’t given them a penny in over 20 years. Fuck all of them.
NPR = National Politburo Revised
Of course, The Kennedy move (hit job) was made to go away. Because the powers that be didn’t like it.
fuck them.
J’Ames, I just sent some of those GOPcards!!!
I think Meryl Streep is an outstanding actress. She is very good in every role she has ever played (the ones I’ve seen, anyway).
Her politics? Don’t care for, don’t like. But that doesn’t make her acting any less impressive. Makes it easier to overlook, for sure, and she sure uses her position to climb up on her bully pulpit.
Back in the early days when a station did its bi-annual Beg-A-Thon you could just switch to another station during that week. Then the lefties got smart and all stations agreed do their shit the same week.
Then Newt Gingrich promised to eliminate funding to the NEA. Then he didn’t do it. So now I hate his fucking guts almost as much as I hate Nancy Pelosi.
J’Ames, I can’t justify watching someone just because of their talent when their politics are repugnant. It’s all one package to me. I’ll pass on her movies.
+10,000 points to Jay for the GOP Valentine link.
“You’ll have to open this Valentine to find out what’s in it.”
hahahahahahahaha
That was actually a link sent from Reince Priebus and the RNC. I know, I know, we’re not used to good ideas coming from that organization, but give credit where it is due.
While he might not be perfect, it seems Priebus and his team are a damn sight better than the man of Steele.
NEW POAT OF SCIENTIFIC IMPORTANCE NOW AVAILABLE
No new poat since last evening?
C’mon, peeples!
Thank you, Wiser!