Yeah, there's gonna be Math on this here poat.
Pendejo!
-
XBrad showed up, Sohos went to bed. Coincidence? AgileDog didn’t think so. Then XBrad mentioned he had flashed her. Andy promptly left as well. There are some things that decent human beings shouldn’t be “exposed” to.
-
Geoff is a virgin. Follow:
- There is a “Hostagettes in Bubblebaths” tab.
- According to Geoff, it can only be seen by virgins.
- Geoff claims to have seen the “Hostagettes in Bubblebaths” pictures.
- Therefore, Geoff must be a virgin. (No doubt he is saving himself for Sarah Palin)
- Q.E.D.
-
Latest “Can’t Fail” Hostage Business proposal: “Nekkid Pictures of Aggie Drinking Beer SOLUTIONS! ™”. (Actually, THIS one might work)
SeanM may be the person responsible for Parker Stephenson’s disappearance. His attorney has advised him to keep his big yap shut.
Clintbird had shrinkage. Up to his throat. Massive amounts of snow were involved.
-
Rosetta is going to assign MegaIndependent a Delta Chi nickname. MI asked Rosetta to be kind. Heh. Rosetta named him “White Swallow”, but “MIndy” has a nice, “fairy” sound to it, dontcha think? MI really didn’t want a “fairy”-sounding nickname.
The chicken crossed the road because she’s a whore, so Rosetta choked the chicken. (Wait – that didn’t come out right…..)
BiW tried to go all “street thug” in the middle of the night, but there are some things that even a Hostage can’t pretend to be.
-
It seems that Armed Geek takes over for Aggie after she goes to bed. Now THAT’S a blog buddy!
Leon gave out late night/early morning drinking Do’s and Don’ts, but based on results, apparently he’s not the best person to be giving out that kind of advice.
-
Dick wrote a magnificent poat with some very handy hobo-killin’ techniques, including the ever-popular “Ka-bar to the right-side 4th rib and liver” maneuver.
Herr pointed out that taking out the kidney involves much less noise on the part of the victim; Aggie prefers both noise and pain when it comes to her victims (bloodthirsty little wench, our Aggie).
Jake prefers liver with his Chianti.
-
The Hostage Nation got into a discussion of Content vs. Context. Great points were raised. Hackles were also raised. Blood was spared, and all lived to fight another day.
Judging from the pictures, AgileDog gives good snowblower.
Aggie started throwing flowers at Dick for his post; Dick wanted her to throw her panties.
-
Sohos forgot to plug her car in, so it wouldn’t start this morning (the vehicle, not the Hostagette). Catman blames gluten, but we all know who is really responsible for this. Damn you, Sarah Palin!
Car in did bi- and tri- today, but not before she had her morning coffee. Car in’s comment gave the Hostage men a little morning something, IYKWIMAITTYD.
The Chief finally showed up at the crack of noon, after a long day (and night) of birthday revelry. Sans pants, like a good little Hostage. Then he wanted to hump the horse that Herr rode in on (something about a gun?), so the party may not be completely over.
-
Pendejo Grande!
-
Michael and BiW started in again over the merits of the word “meritricious”. Or is it “meretricious”? Apparently it depends on whether you are using Webser’s dictionary or Webster’s dictionary.
Cathy graced us with her presence, but it seems she only did that because she is horny. Hostage men across the nation were falling all over themselves to make up for Michael’s shortcomings (or is it “short comings”? Better go check the dictionary….).
MJ says with Glocks, it’s all about “hand feel”. Aggie corrected MJ’s spelling. Cathy likes the dictionary that Aggie is using.
-
TiFW got behind a truck full of skunks this morning (the animals, not the Liberals – the animals smell better).
According to Michael, Herr’s pecker meat can be used as bait to trap skunks.
- Herr’s pecker is short, but nice and round – like a can of tuna.
- Exterminators bait skunk traps with tuna from a can.
- Q.E.D. – keep up, people…..
Jazz used to camp outdoors. Now he camps at Red Roof Inns (no skunks).
-
Wiser included a link to lengthen URLs. One wonders what happens in the event that a link lasts longer than 4 hours….
Beasn had a hard day at work, poor dear. Apparently her co-workers are doofuses.
Cathy told Michael he was wrong. Again.
-
Jazz stated the obvious: David Brooks is a douchebag.
Andy concurred, but reminded us that Mr. Brooks’ pants legs are perfectly creased.
Herr admires low self-esteem in a woman. Dick concurs, but he spells it E-A-S-Y.
-
Aggie’s a spewer. And she was taunting BiW about his length, but he hushed her up right quick, ‘cuz he didn’t want to have to explain certain things to Mrs. BiW. So Aggie gave BiW some balm instead.
XBrad wanted someone to bring teh funneh, but this poat don’t go up until after 5:00 CST. Be patient, grasshopper…..
Hotspur was trying to introduce Math! ™ into the equation again. He should know better than that with this crew. With Democrats, too. Logic isn’t their strong suit.
-
Wiser, as usual, was a day late and a dollar short. His “Together We Thrive!” idea laid an egg. And he forgot the power of the word Solutions! ™. Again.
Peej’s relatives are going to be surprised when they see Dick’s Flickr Photostream linked to hers. You’d think by now, Peej would know better.
Those other 7 states Obama keeps talking about? Befuddlement, bemusement, arousal, inebriation, and denial. Oh, and Sleepy and Dopey.
-
Andy nails it: Sarah Palin weaponized Facebook. “Now, witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational social media platform.” Go ‘Cuda!
-
Wiser gets a slogan in 6 easy steps:
- To get one’s very own slogan, one must die.
- Jazz offers to “help” Wiser get a slogan.
- Hotspur gives Jazz the “tools” to help Wiser get his wish.
- Hotspur puts up a picture of a lovely piece of jewelry his daughter has crafted.
- Wiser besmirches Hotspur’s daughter’s handiwork.
- Wiser gets his slogan (we’re gonna miss ya!)
- Do I really have to spell it out for you? (All right – Q.E.D. Happy?)
We’re all thinking Wiser’s slogan should include the word “douche”.
-
And because he’s only been mentioned twice today:
PENDEJO GRANDE!!!!!!!!!
(Just remember, PG, EVERYONE gets a ribbon in the Hostage Olympics……)
-
— THUS ENDETH TODAY’S LESSON —
_
454 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
XBrad showed up, Sohos went to bed.
See…married!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
This is an awesome poat. Smells of victory!!
And for the Mathematically Inclined, the top picture is apparently the 1941 Pancake Proof. Don’t ask me what that is – that’s just what the picture said…..
When did the first sentence happen?
Nicely done. You hardly feel TiFW’s dirk when she slides the blade in!
What does that mean Tifw?!?!?!? I don’t understand the header pic. I am seriously losing my mind over it
*cuddles up to Aggie just to experience some o’ that legendary Texas warmth…
It’s freaking cold in my house. Bring a blanket.
Dinnertime, and kids are yapping. BBL
You hardly feel TiFW’s dirk when she slides the blade in!
It’s almost like it’s shaped like a can of tuna!
I don’t know if I like this whole “Summary” thing. I feel like I might have to testify about it.
How many rug rats does Aggie have?
Somebody’s demonstrating a Proof on a blackboard, Sohos. Is it the Pancake Proof of 1941? Is there even such a thing? Who knows? I sure as heck don’t, but that’s what it said next to the picture, so that’s what I’m telling everyone it is……
PattyAnn,
Well, you sound like you’re on the South Beach diet.
Glad, you’re out a little.
It can be depressing staying in all the time.
No! The cake picture AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *seriously runs out of room screaming!!!!!!!!!
Aggie, just toss the kids a can of tuna.
Sohita – I believe Aggie has two boys. As for the header photo, it’s some failed dessert concoction from the 60s.
EVERYONE gets a ribbon in the Hostage Olympics
They’re ALL winners today, Bob.
I have NO idea about that one, Sohos – looks like liquid poo instead of icing, and I don’t know which one of the guys here put it up. If I knew how to change it, I would -
I’m very tempted to make a comparison between that cake picture and a biological function, but I’m sure your minds have already “filled in” the cracks.
Happy to see M. Bois du Matin, haven’t seen you at AOSHQ much lately. It’s sort of squishy over there now.
When did the first sentence happen?
In the “Floyd” post last night:
Comment by sohos on January 12, 2011 11:04 pm
Good night fun pals
From previos thread: the summary is the best idea Evah! Thanks T.
Mare, I absolutely cannot eat a carb now. And I’m a carb girl!
I’d like the fuck winter header pic back up. My kids’ schools are closed for a 5th day tomorrow.
The Resa– You used two bad syllogisms in this post. Do you own any firearms?
Roamy – How did it go with the Doc?
OK…One bad syllogism. Geoff is obviously a virgin.
Would it be uncivil or vitriolic to mention that the cake picture resembles something often seen in the First Bedroom?
Would it be uncivil or vitriolic to mention that the cake picture resembles something often seen in the First Bedroom?
Not since Dick Morris’s credit card was canceled.
Would it be uncivil or vitriolic to mention that the cake picture resembles something often seen in the First Bedroom?
———–
Cleveland steamer-chelle?
Hey, I remember renting a Yugo in 1987 while my real car was in the shop. Four on the floor and a ride like a lawnmower.
I should have used it to pick up hookers under the freeway.
So what are ya sayin, Herr? That we can’t use your pecker meat to trap skunks? I just skipped a few steps to protect the innocent, but if you want me to tell everyone that you said that your pecker is only 2″ long, but 13″ around – “like a tuna can” I believe were your exact words – then I can do that, too.
Or we can ask The Frau for confirmation……
Cleveland steamer-chelle?
I think of it as a Pennsylvania Avenue PIle.
Or we can ask The Frau for confirmation…
That won’t work. She can’t remember the last time she saw it.
you said that your pecker is only 2″ long, but 13″ around – “like a tuna can”
Smells like fish, tastes like tin-plated steel?
Hangs head in shame for hanging out at the old poat.
Hangs head in shame for hanging out at the old poat.
And you have so many other reasons to hang your head in shame, too.
Still wanna play the semantics game with me, Herr?
Huh? Huh?
Question my flawless logic?
C’mon, big boy (well, not in YOUR case…..)
Hey V. New pup?
HAHAHAHA….Vman, was an old poat loser.
My tuna has absolutely no relation to Herr’s tuna.
Not yet MJ. The youngun I hoped to foster was adopted in 2 days.
My tuna has absolutely no relation to Herr’s tuna.
Tequila’s a hell of a drug.
Teresa left titty prints all the way over here.
Remember Yves Klein, the Froggie artist who pour blue paint over nude women and then rolled them on canvas to make prints? What a nimrod.
There’s a reason artists have a reputation for being stupid. He should have skipped the paint altogether and just fucked his lights out. Retard. But he’s French, so what do you expect.
Dinner time. See you losers and lovers later.
But he’s French, so what do you expect.
Cooperation.
George, George, George, have we taught you nothing around here?
Male Artist + French = Gay Man
ALWAYS.
They could care less about women’s bodies and f***ing. Now if it were a MALE model…..
But he’s French, so what do you expect.
Cooperation.Surrender.FIXT.
Well, perhaps Klein could have rolled the women up in the canvas, and surrendered it to the Germans. Performance art rocks.
But he’s French, so what do you expect.
Surrender?
Teresa left titty prints all the way over here.
— o o — o o — o o — o o — o o — o o —
(It’s cold in here!)
Portrait of the artist: http://tinyurl.com/24mnh7a
Report from the doc – apparently in the lottery of heart ailments, I got a two-fer. The heart monitor showed that he did indeed fix the electrical problem, it’s just that my heart doesn’t want to slow down and be normal. EKG looked like shit, heartrate was 128 this morning. (I bet it would have been under 100 with a little coffee comfort.) I will stay on the half-dose of beta blocker for now, and the dose will get adjusted somewhere between too tired and too fast. And I need to lose some weight.
Well, perhaps Klein could have rolled the women up in the canvas, and surrendered it to the Germans.
Surplus French women. Only shaved once.
NOW you wanna be a funny girl.
I didn’t have time to poat a single time today.
I’m so glad that the Unicorn God’s speech, which too many conservatives have been praising, is having a salutary effect on our politics. For example in the New York Dog Trainer (Times) today we see moderation of tone from Gail Collins:
…But, politically, there’s a challenge about where we go from here. You can’t expect the Republican majority in Congress to give up on killing the health care reform law, although it might be a nice step if the leadership urged its members to stop saying that God wants to see repeal….
…Congress should have an actual debate about Representative Carolyn McCarthy’s bill to reduce gun violence.
…It simply bans the sale of the special bullet clip that allowed the Tucson gunman to shoot 20 people without reloading…
…Members of Congress are so terrified of the political power of the National Rifle Association that the Democrats, when they were in power, declined even to give McCarthy’s bill a hearing. This is the chance for the Republicans to prove that they’re braver.
I guess this counts as “sharing dreams together.” Civil and tolerant and warm and fuzzy and fuck you, Gail Collins.
Oh, sorry to hear about that Vmax. Maybe next time. The pug rescue wants us to foster, but Mrs MJ would lose her shit when she had to give the pup up. BOOOOOO!
Dick, I have indeed considered it and will get a second opinion. This was the electrophysiologist; I asked for a copy of all the stuff from the last month to be sent to the regular cardiologist, and I’m going to set up an appointment with him in a month or so.
I didn’t have time to poat a single time today.
And yet, you got mentioned THREE times, just ‘cuz I lurves ya. See how that works? Send a shirtless picture of yourself to Roamy to post in the HHD, and you might get mentioned more than that!
I grew up with a little sister – I know how to play hardball…..
have ya considered a second opinion
Sure as hell couldn’t hurt. If they say “Your primary doctor is right”, just bounce the check on them and it’s free, too!
Yeah, my chicken is back! Who wants to fuck it besides the MFM???
“it’s just that my heart doesn’t want to slow down and be normal.”
What Dick said.
“it’s just that my heart doesn’t want to slow down and be normal.”
———————————
Or just quit looking at HHD?
Send a shirtless picture of yourself to Roamy
I’ll do it. Have that heart rate below 70 in a jiffy.
Roamy, if you ever want the name of the guy at the Cleveland Clinic who worked on my niece, just give me a holler. She had the same kind of issues (although she did have a pacemaker in place already). He was one of the only people who was willing to look at her after all of the other specialists had their turn.
Hostage men across the nation were falling all over themselves to make up for Michael’s shortcomings (or is it “short comings”?)
Send a shirtless picture of yourself to Roamy to post in the HHD
I ♥ Teresa.
I’ll do it. Have that heart rate below 70 in a jiffy.
We don’t want it to STOP beating……
Or just quit looking at HHD?
I’d sooner give up coffee.
I’d sooner give up coffee.
—————————
Atta girl. Smooches.
RFH, do you notice any difference since your procedure?
We don’t want it to STOP beating……
That’s the picture of the tuna can.
Did you get the car fixed, Herr?
Not yet. Part comes in tomorrow. I’ll put that on and then see what’s actually farkled up.
Scott, the procedure did help. The echocardiogram showed that the blood flow (ejection fraction?) has been restored close to what it was in 2001. In October, I was in congestive heart failure, I sounded like Mae West, my ankles were swollen with edema, and I was a lump on the couch. Now, just my motor’s running a little fast.
Well, good luck with that. My experience with German cars is that they seldom require a $20 part. $200, maybe. $1000, more like it.
Now, just my motor’s running a little fast.
——————–
I sincerely hope you feel better soon. My FIF worry me a bit.
My Bro has his own shop. All German cars are 4 figures minimum
Well, good luck with that. My experience with German cars is that they seldom require a $20 part. $200, maybe. $1000, more like it.
Once owned an Audi. Never, ever again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=mWh_Fwee4Ao
Guess what I did today.
I love the Benzes. They’re awesome cars. It’s just that they’re “fragile”. If something gets slightly off on them they go to shit. I haven’t found parts to be that much more of a screwing than with other cars. Of course I’m the type that hits junkyards for parts a lot, anyway.
Comment by scottw on January 13, 2011 8:19 pm
Proof that there is still hope for our nation.
Carin, got your navel reamed and poled?
I am teh suck – didn’t even get a mention in the summary…
on the bright side, I was able to move back into my office today.
Guess what I did today.
More importantly, did you film it?
Carin, got your navel reamed and poled?
uhm … I’m not sure of that …
I’ve had 3 bimmers, good cars but they can get a little spendy if/when problems arise.
got your navel reamed and poled?
The vitriolic, violent tone of this comment sullies our genteel political discourse. Plus, no pix is teh suxx0r.
I did not film it. Nope.
It’s kinda bloody looking right now – cause I worked out and it started bleeding, so I think I’ll hold off on sharing for a bit.
My 40 hour work week is safely concluded. Sadly, I still have to head in to work tomorrow.
Pierced and then stuck a metal projectile in the hole?
Self mutilation? Awesome.
When it’s not longer yucky looking I’ll change my avatar to it, k?
Rub some dirt on it Carin.
That A4 I owned was nothing but spendy trouble. My rice-burner Jap cars have been much less vitriolic and extremist with my wallet.
Self mutilation? Awesome.
No silly. I PAID someone to mutilate me. A professional mutilator.
Rub some dirt on it Carin.
The dirt is all covered with snow up here.
Spray some Windex
Rub some dirton it Carin.“The dirt is all covered with snow up here.”
Well, okay then, rub some …….. chocolate pudding on it … that should help.
Dirt’s easy to find, just scrape some snow from your wheelwell and let it melt.
Hot sauce is good on nearly everything, with the possible exception of flesh wounds.
I’ve got some sort of sea salt stuff to spray on it. But if I run out, I’ll hit the windex. Then dirt.
In that order.
And then chocolate pudding.
Don’t forget the pudding, Carin. DO YOU HEAR ME?
good for you Leon
I have worked 0 hours this week.
Bummer.
Why is that picture still up there.
It’s so gross.
Oops, retraction time.
Sympathies, Vmax. Beers would be on me if we were closer.
**checks email for HHD pic of Herr**
I’ve got some sort of sea salt stuff to spray on it.
Because nothing says “wound treatment” like “sodium chloride”.
Richard Boone was only 63 (same as me now) when he died. I think I won’t use my Palladin avatar anymore. *Shudder.*
Because nothing says “wound treatment” like “sodium chloride”.
I dunno. This guy had piercing everywhere. I’m thinking if there’s one thing he knows, it’s small wound treatment (in unusual places).
**checks email for HHD pic of Herr**
Well, I’ve got my old mugshot. Ignore the blood.
roamy, I will send you my pic tomorrow. I found a scanner that the caricature would fit on!
#2 daughter is clambering to play chess. She’s actually starting to get pretty good, if I can get her to be a little more aggressive. All have a good night.
Carin, you look different. Somethings missing. But your personality seems the same.
Carin, you look different. Somethings missing. But your personality seems the same.
IT’S ME MARE. IT’S STILL ME.
Did anyone else put a chunk of metal through any of God’s perfect handiwork today?
Why do the Hostagettes hate Betty Crocker?
Tatt’s promised me she’s do it when I did it.
Chief – my husband loved your HHD pictures.
Why do the Hostagettes hate Betty Crocker?
Cupcake envy. Also, she has a moister muffin.
Just so nobody’s feelings get hurt – I attempt to mention everyone who comments over a 24-hour period in that day’s summary. Sometimes I can’t get everyone (if you only make one or two comments, though, it’s a little hard to find teh funneh in there), but I will do my best.
If you don’t get in one day, you WILL get in another day. I’m not playing favorites here, and I try to tie similar comments together so everyone is in on the fun.
Like I said, EVERYONE gets a ribbon here……
Roamy, I’m chiming in for you to get a second opinion, too. Something’s just not right.
Just funnin’ with ya TiFW, I was off the radar today. I blame Sarah.
PA, I made you a sandwich http://i.imgur.com/T0Ivr.jpg
Do not worry TiF,
Pick only the funny.
Make us laugh.
Did anybody make anybody else walk the plank today?
Hahahaha, Scott. If I took the bread off, I think I can eat avout 1/2″ of that monster.
No silly. I PAID someone to mutilate me. A professional mutilator.
It’s called benign masochism. Nothing wrong w/ that.
And Carin, I gotta get the rules changed at work before I can pierce my nose. Had lunch w/ one of the part timers the other day and she reminded me of the “no facial piercing while teaching” rule. I’m working on it tho.
I do have to ask, are we done talking about/bashing on fat people? ‘Cuz if not I’ll just take another week off. ( I don’t want to be bothered to actually read the thread.)
I made 2 loaves of bread today Sean
I did not walk any planks.
Send a shirtless picture of yourself to Roamy to post in the HHD, and you might get mentioned more than that!
I don’t know that there would be any interest in looking at the torso of a guy who couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison even with a suitcase full of cocaine.
The Ann Arbor episode of Man vs. Food is on. It’s surreal to watch him at places I’ve been.
Man, am I the only one on this blog who doesn’t bake bread?
Sean, I don’t even eat bread.
Cool, I’m at the second 2011 meatup. This time, with smart people.
Sean, I don’t even eat bread.
I eat cinnamon/sugar bread ‘cuz it’s yummy.
I try to save my gluten doses for things that are actually worth it, like cookies.
Glen Livet or Glen Fiddich? Decisions decisions…
evening all, I’m mostly clothed.
Cool, I’m at the second 2011 meatup. This time, with smart people.
Hey, wait a minute…
I try to save my gluten doses for things that are actually worth it, like cookies.
cinnamon sugar bread is just like a cookie.
cinnamon sugar bread is just like a cookie.
True.
Oh, wait, did I say that?
Oh, wait, did I say that?
Nope, you wrote it.
Say hi to Geoff.
You idiot.
Well, he does kinda move his lips while he’s typing.
Cool, I’m at the second 2011 meatup. This time, with smart people.
When and where is that meat-up?
Does it matter Mare?
This is pretty funny but NSFW:
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/01/the_neverending_storys_other_ending.php
Ok, didn’t have to work tonight and I’m cold and tired, so I’m going to bed. Ciao
Tatts – Not feeling well?
Spammers sure are smart. They keep trying to hit my blog with the spam meant for Big Dick’s Place…topless movie stars, penis enlargment…How did they know I used to be a contributor there?
Tatts – Not feeling well?
*wtf I hit refresh before I close is beyond me*
No, just hormonal shifts and overwork, plus 2F as a low tonight w/ wicked windchills.
“Spammers sure are smart.”
Sorry to hear about your ‘problem’.
Boston. Geoff and JackStraw.
*moves lips*
My glaring absence should be dutifully noted in these summaries.
Fin.
Lace Wigs has been sentient for a while now.
Rich – Nobody likes you.
Does it matter Mare?
No, I’m just curious.
Glen Gluten!
Mrs. Caruthers has informed me that Oct/Nov is a 50% chance of a 6-9 month deployment for her. We were considering trying for a baby sometime this Spring/Summer, which would mean she couldn’t be deployed if we managed to get pregnant. Am I unpatriotic if I go ahead and knock her up?
Thanks, Andy.
Scott, was being sassy again.
Rich, darlin’, your last post was over a month ago. I’m many things, but psychic ain’t one of ‘em……
Tats, I think the “fat jokes” were mostly from me, but I’m the fat one, so no worries!
Knock away, Mr. Caruthers…..
Am I unpatriotic if I go ahead and knock her up?
Only if your baby turns out to be the next Hitler. Or Olbermann.
Only if your baby turns out to be the next Hitler. Or Olbermann.
why you gotta be hatin on Hitler like that?
Yay…back, from hell.
Leon – Go ahead. If your kid turns into a liberal, Imma hit you with my walker!
So Andy, Scott, and Geoff walk into a bar…..
Are you boys gonna see to it that Geoff gets lucky tonight, or is he still saving himself for the lovely Mrs. Palin? (Did he even see his write-up? I worked darn hard on that bit involving him – the whole “theme” of this poat was built around that “proof” construct…..)
Only if your baby turns out to be the next Hitler.
Unlikely. He won’t even be a quarter Jewish. He’ll bear a strong resemblance to a beardless Gimli, though.
10 minutes until the new season premier of Jersey Shore
The new refrigerator was delivered today! Behold … http://is.gd/mvg80h
If your kid turns into a liberal, Imma hit you with my walker!
Am I supposed to ask whether Son #1 has yet turned to the dark side, or is that a sore subject?
Practice makes perfect Leon. go for it.
No, I’m just curious.
What would you like me to teach you, young lady?
Leon, I think it’s unpatriotic not to make another awesome patriot. Definitely go for the baby.
What was “hell” Aggie?
Sohos, I have three kids:girl- 15, boy- 13, and girl- 11.
Awesome fridge, Cyn!!
Ooooooh, nice, Cyn.
Dinner and grocery shopping with the kids, Cyn.
The new refrigerator was delivered today! Behold … http://is.gd/mvg80h
/jealous
Just caught up reading…welcome to George Orwell and Uncle Facts. Nice to see you guys.
Leon – He’s making progress. The whole, having a job, paying taxes, etc thing is affecting him. He even agreed with me that Grenholm was an embarrassment who really hurt the state.
Am I unpatriotic if I go ahead and knock her up?
I didn’t know you made the kind of money necessary to pay the stud fees.
Glad to hear it, he seemed like a sharp guy when we had dinner.
Any tips for the stainless steel? Fingerpriints already with my two boys plus the tall one too. Gah!!
And no fucking place to put my magnets. Dammit.
Cyn, how many hobos will that bad bitch hold?
I didn’t know you made the kind of money necessary to pay the stud fees.
Projection ain’t just a river in Egypt, BiW.
I pre-measured before I bought, PG.
2.33
Cyn, get a ruler. Start smacking knuckles.
What would you like me to teach you, young lady?
Ooooh…class is in session!!
Good call, Leon.
The Catholic Nun Way™
What second opinion bullshit, Dick?
heya cyn
I figured it was teh kids Aggie!
*pours warmed cup of drinking chocolate with rum and sets out slippers*
Projection ain’t just a river in Egypt, BiW.
It ain’t braggin ifin ya can do it.
I got two little people that look like someone put my wife and I in a blender and poured into two smaller containers running around the house here.
Waht brought you to H2, Uncle?
Ooooh…class is in session!!
Settle down. I was talking to the one with the Haiwaiian-Texican Accent, not the Texican accent.
Lemme tell ya, if I find out I’m shooting blanks, Imma be super-pissed about all those close calls in college.
Thanks Cyn!!
*puts electrified barbwire fence around Cyn’s fridge*
Uh, I do NOT have a Texican accent.
It’s Texarican
Waht brought you to H2, Uncle?
it was either broadening my horizons, or the fact that no one judges me for my “condition” I can’t remember which.
I better go check to see how the homework situation is going.
Later Cool Kids
Most “conditions” welcomed here, Uncle. If you need to check, Xbrad has the most current list.
Texirican? Horseshit.
Guess you’ll have to hear it for yourself!
Time to catch up on my speed-reading training.
Most of the experts I’ve talked to assure me that it’s probably not contagious.
It’s Texarican
I don’t care how sexy it is. That isn’t the point. But because I like you, you can shake a tail-feather to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3-oPEDnw3w&feature=related
The pipes aren’t bad for being an old dude.
I have, if you’ll remember, and I call horseshit.
Oh, right!
That was my twin sister, Lupe.
*gives up trying to fool Dick*
My accent is there. You just have to piss me off to hear it. Trust me.
BiW we were watching the A-Team when ya called. Never heard the phone. Kelly says, take it up with her if ya have a problem with it.
Tell me you didn’t laugh when you heard the message and I’ll call you a f**king liar.
Great song, BisW.
8dances in the kitchen, while yelling at kids*
I have three as well Aggie son 14, daughter 14 and daughter 12
But I wasn’t pissed when I called you!! I was laughing!!!
Sheesh….
I laughed, then said, fuck you.
I expected no less, old man.
BTW, the Feds will be making an unannounced visit on Saturday, at about 3 am. Just thought you’d like to know.
SoHoS! For you, I have this classic tune:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ5aNftth5I
Longrod von Hugenpost
I bet they would get along like a house on fire, sohos
“Any tips for the stainless steel”
It’s beautiful, but it’s a hopeless battle keeping it fingerprint free with kids and a husband.
I bet they would get along like a house on fire, sohos
*sniffs*
do you smell something burning?
BiW is going to be pissed off that this excellent summary is longer than his longest post.
Rosetta,
This guy would like a word with you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ni90iL81wTQ
Dick, why haven’t you been arrested yet for your uncivil superviolent post?
The last time I touched a part of my fridge that wasn’t the handle was when I reversed the doors.
BiW is going to be pissed off that this excellent summary is longer than his longest post.
No. Not even close. I can think of three of mine of the top of my head that were longer.
My fridge is Harvest Gold – no fingerprints.
http://tinyurl.com/4ec64vp
This guy would like a word with you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ni90iL81wTQ
Hahahahahaha. Bruno.
http://tinyurl.com/yclu8nh
Dick, why haven’t you been arrested yet for your uncivil superviolent post?
That’s why the Ministry of Truth will be visiting later.
—————————————————-
Tell them to be ready for the dog, and the Beretta.
I assume you’re talking about Bear and not Patricia.
MCPO, how is the hair of teh doggie treating you?
Damn fine question. I’m guessing the assholes are covered up with real problems.
Meh. Fuck ‘em.
Rosie – I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I hope.
Rosie, I saw that you stole my idea from last night.
Nice fridge, Cyn! When that bad boy finally gives up the ghost, you can strip out the innards, store it in your garage, and when the time comes you’ll save a ton on a casket (okay, I know it’s morbid, but I know I’m not the ONLY one who’s thinking it…..).
BiW, you owe me a new monitor for your response to Leon.
+1000 and a *golf clap* – well done, sir; well done!
Leon, Mr. TiFW says that if you post a picture of the lovely Mrs. Caruthers on this site, you would probably find several volunteers, thus saving a TON of money on stud fees…..
LOVE that song BiW
Oh, and thanks for giving me credit in the comments.
I’m confident in my fertility. Even if the quality is so-so, I can make it up on quantity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3w7w58CREY
Rosie, I saw that you stole my idea from last night.
As I said I would. And I gave you credit, Nancy Drew.
It still makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.
What dumb bullshit did you do today?
BiW is going to be pissed off that this excellent summary is longer than his longest post.
No. Not even close. I can think of three of mine of the top of my head that were longer.
Yeah, but were they funny? (Of course, mine have lots of spaces in them – BiW’s, not so much; plus his are very well thought out and intellectual – mine are just so much fluff…..)
Rosie – I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I hope.
Are you having any drinks tonight or are you on Teh Wagon O’Sober?
And seriously, HOW do we go about changing the header picture? I’m sick to death of that noxious picture…..
I have hitched myself to the wagon tonight. Would you like to paint my wagon?
Man, I would love a drink.
Stupid diet.
I blame mare.
(Of course, mine have lots of spaces in them – BiW’s, not so much
Hahahahaha. If BiW wrote War and Peace, which he is smart enough to have done, it would have been seven paragraphs.
Who wants to talk about Obama’s speech last night?
What dumb bullshit did you do today?
I ran the dishwasher, got the garbage cans in from the curb, sacrificed a dwarf to Eris (the goddess of Strife), and went out to get a pack of smokes.
LOVE that song BiW
Me too. The only thing that would make it better is a video of you dancing to it. *hint hint*
TiFW – We let you comment and post here. Don’t press your luck.
I have hitched myself to the wagon tonight. Would you like to paint my wagon?
No, I like chicks. But thanks for the offer though.
The wagon is a necessary evil. And it feels good to jump off that fucker.
And seriously, HOW do we go about changing the header picture? I’m sick to death of that noxious picture…..
I agree. I’m on it.
Aggie, I’m in the same boat, I think. Alcohol is holding back my weight loss, so it’s gotta go for now.
Man, I would love a drink.
Stupid diet.
I blame mare.
Traditionally, you’re supposed to shake your fists at the sky.
Harvest Gold, that brings back memories of Mom’s kitchen. My oldest brother’s kitchen was avocado green.
Who wants to talk about Obama’s speech last night?
No thanks. I just wiped that man outta my ass. I thought the flush would be the last we’d hear of him.
————————————————
Chief?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoJaOS8LCcY
alright, I think I’m going to go put on my hand made dickmitten(fuck you China) and go clean the driveway again.
AlGore, diaf you asswrangler.
No, I like chicks.
Commie pinko!
http://tinyurl.com/a8hx
I ran the dishwasher, got the garbage cans in from the curb, sacrificed a dwarf to Eris (the goddess of Strife), and went out to get a pack of smokes.
Then what happened?
Hahahahaha. If BiW wrote War and Peace, which he is smart enough to have done, it would have been seven paragraphs.
Nope. My Russian isn’t that good. I’d end up falling back on my French, and then Gregoriy Vassylivich (my old Russian instructor) would get in my face and start cursing me out in Russian.
I would shake my fist at the sky, Sean, but I’m too tired after dancing around the kitchen.
Leon, I just want to lose enought to be able to get back into my non-mom jeans, so it won’t be too bad. I hope…
BiW – Mr. Keel was a marvelous singer.
hahahaha!
My dad’s still is!!!!!!!
That don’t matter. Your old man is coooool, Old Man.
Hope you keep the jewels warm, unclefacts!
BiW – Mr. Keel was a marvelous singer.
That’s one of my wife’s favorite movies. I agree, he had a heck of a voice, but I laugh everytime I hear that song.
Nomnom jeans? Pics, or it didn’t happen.
I’ve had beers every night this week and put on 4 pounds sooooo pissed
Then what happened?
I found twenty dollars.
*guesses the Chief doesn’t want to be included in tomorrow’s Summary post*
(not really, Chief – I’m just messin’ with ya!)
Leon, I just want to lose enought to be able to get back into my non-mom jeans, so it won’t be too bad.
I have 5 pairs of barely-worn 31x30s that I’m trying to fit in, I figure that’s another 10-15 lb.
MIndy? Yeah, that’s officially the end of my Personal Pledge For Better Rhetoric. It lasted for six whole minutes, assholes.
Okay, time to eat some grilled lambchops. See you fagz later.
Nope. My Russian isn’t that good. I’d end up falling back on my French, and then Gregoriy Vassylivich (my old Russian instructor) would get in my face and start cursing me out in Russian.
Shut the fuck up.
Nomnom jeans? Pics, or it didn’t happen.
NON MOTHER JEANS.
Sheesh…
But if there’s a tab for ass, I will consider it.
Hostage Community Theater presents: Full Assimiliation
Scene 1. Mr. RFH reads tonight’s email, learns that the sports banquet has been moved forward a week due to the snow. This after 5 days of school being cancelled, 4 of which he’s gone to work.
Mr RFH (shouting): WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES!!!!
We got midgets that read this shit?
Tall people are assholes, pretty much universally.
I thought the “then I found $20″ joke would die but since it hasn’t, will someone please clue me in on the funneh?
I was sick that day.
Jersey Shore was the awesome
Mr RFH (shouting): WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES!!!!
Hahahahaha. Welcome to the dark side.
MOM!!! SOHITO DRANK FOUR POUNDS OF BEER!!!!
Teresa, how’s the Mr. tonight?
Cold – this old house is drafty as all get-out, and it’s colder than a witch’s titty out there tonight. Fortunately, it’s toasty warm upstairs, so we’re good at night.
Mega – you didn’t like my suggestion for a nickname? “MIndy” it is, I guess…..
Can I get a ruling from Wiser on this?
Where IS Wiser tonight?
HAHAHAHA!
Roamy – I concur with Mr. RFH.
Being 5’11″, I don’t qualify as tall, but I do make the universal asshole cut list.
http://tinyurl.com/4749hxn
Rosie – You have to ask Mare.
Dick, I’m 5’5″. You’re tall.
Tall people are assholes, pretty much universally.
Hahahahahahaha.
*whips out cock, takes a whiz*
I hear it’s supposed to rain down there tonight.
Ooops – the ruling on MIndy should come from Rosetta, as he is the one who was supposed to assign the nickname.
Rosie? What say you? It seems to piss MegaIndependent off just the right amount……
Okay, time to read chapter 6 of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Alchemy. I haven’t found the Pb -> Au trick yet.
I hear it’s supposed to rain down there tonight.
I have an umbrella and a shiv. Your achilles tendon is my bitch.
You only say that cause dad didn’t shoot you despite being not only a yankee, but a lawyer too.
No, I say that because he hates Obama more than I do.
Mr. TiFW is 5’7″ – the joke among all of our friends is that there ARE no full-sized adults in the TiFW family (I’m 5’0″)…..
Tall people are assholes, pretty much universally.
It isn’t the height that makes me an asshole. It isn’t even booze.
I just come by it naturally.
The Resa, you have mail.
BTW, what IS the official cut-off height for being an asshole? For future reference and all that……
Rosie? What say you? It seems to piss MegaIndependent off just the right amount……
Mindy? I’m okay with that. MegaNoLabels, your Delta Chi name is Mindy von Hugenpoon.
Delta Chi?
Fuck! I’m in the wrong house!!!
I think you have to be taller than 6’4″ and a lawyer to qualify for true “assholiness”
*whips out cock, takes a whiz*
and knocks out the short ppl
I have an umbrella and a shiv. Your achilles tendon is my bitch.
Hahahahahahahaha. Well done.
In my limited experience of guys starting shit with me, it’s almost exclusively been guys shorter than 5’10″ with a couple of friends.
Big non-roided guys don’t start a lot of shit.
I’M A LOVER NOT A FIGHTER!!!
Theta Chi, O Theta Chi,
You love to blow Kappa Delta Xi.
Theta Chi, O Theta Chi,
You love to blow Kappa Delta Xi.
We’ve seen your dates,
We understand
The reason why
You use your hands
O Theta Chi, O Theta Chi
You love to blow Kappa Delta Xi.
*sniffs*
Now look what ya done. Made me get all emotional and shit.
Mega – you didn’t like my suggestion for a nickname? “MIndy” it is, I guess…..
I ain’t saying which one I like worse. And if I did, it would be a double negative anyway, and would Obi Wan Confuse you into giving me the one I slightly prefer.
I think you have to be taller than 6’4″ and a lawyer to qualify for true “assholiness”
I told you. Height doesn’t matter. I came by it naturally, and I’m pretty sure Michael did too.
Thanks, PattyAnn! Stored for future reference –
Well, it’s time to say goodnight. I hope this post brought some laughter to your lives – I’m having a ball doing this…..
Sweet dreams, all!
Hotspur is the oldest Hostage. Who’s the tallest?
I think maybe mesa or Michael. BiW, how tall are you?
MegaNoLabels
Teh lolz
Big non-roided guys don’t start a lot of shit.
That’s because we’d just like to be able to finish a drink without some little big man thinking he’s all that ’cause he’s talking smack to me.
Hello, Assholes.
and hot chicks.
Hey Mega, you need to get a real avatar.
I think is the place that you can do that:
http://en.gravatar.com/
Tall people are assholes, pretty much universally.
Hey now!
Is Hotspur the oldest, or is Chrispy?
Lippy!! Hi Lippy. What do you want to talk about tonight?
BiW has to be 6’5″ one way or the other.
Hahahahahahaha. I see what you did there.
Hi Lipstick! We needed another blonde hottie here.
I’m not blonde.
(see what I did there?)
**tackles Rosetta, gives him the “burnt umber”
I’m only about 6’3″, so I’m outta the running.
Runt of the litter, that’s me!
We need to get more people in Teh Yearbook because that shit is funny.
Dick and Lippy, if you can find your senior year high school photo, email it to me.
The yearbook is fun. Vmax is the current leader for best picture. Seeing everyone when they were 18 is pretty funny.
Except for xbrad.
So what happens if you’re 5’2″? How do you qualify in the Pantheon of Assholery?
Lippy, as long as you’re hot, you can color your hair any way you want.
I think we should all chip in and buy Rosetta some Just For Men in Tawny Auburn for his beard.
*tackles Rocket Chick, discusses “puce”*
Aggie, you fit more in the “Wow, what an ass!” category than “what an asshole”….
**looks at the rumpshaker pic Aggie sent me**
So what happens if you’re 5’2″? How do you qualify in the Pantheon of Assholery?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ-f4Ij6ycg
Lippy!! Hi Lippy. What do you want to talk about tonight?
Hi Rosie! Hi late-night folks!
Let’s see, hmmm, how about dream vacation destinations? Or weird dreams? Is it strange that I dreamed about a talking dog the other night?
What a fucktard.
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/01/13/rep_clyburn_uses_term_double_barrel_after_denouncing_violent_rhetoric.html
I think we should all chip in and buy Rosetta some Just For Men in Tawny Auburn for his beard.
Listen Liberace, my beard looks just fine.
In the winter I grow the full Grizzly Adams. Mrs Rosetta is lukewarm on the idea but it’s nice to have hair on half of my head. Albeit the wrong half but WHATEVER!!
*runs to bedroom*
*slams door*
Dick and Lippy, if you can find your senior year high school photo, email it to me.
I already did, silly. Remember “the bangs”?
Dick’s photo probably has him holding a hand grenade….
How about around 20 or so, in the service?
That will work.
And it’s okay that you didn’t go to high school.
**looks at the rumpshaker pic Aggie sent me**
You wish.
You don’t. You can only qualify as a spinner now.
Darn…
BisW, so you’re saying I’m Kent Dorfman??
*cries in her water*
Damn diet.
Read chapters 6 and 7. Still no transmutations. Lots of allegory, though.
Also, women shorter than me are a gift from God. I wish I’d dated one at some point before marrying a woman who’s exactly my height.
It was probably a grenade cleverly disguised as a beer.
Hey Mega, you need to get a real avatar.
I don’t have time to fuck around with this avatar shit. I’m superduper busy.
Did it work?
I already did, silly. Remember “the bangs”?
Oh YEAH!! Duh!! The bangs are awesome.
Dick’s photo probably has him holding a hand grenade….
Hahahahahaha. And the severed head of a liberal.
BisW, so you’re saying I’m Kent Dorfman??
No. I was Kent Dorfman, and if I could get in, then the club has really, really low standards.
Geeezzz. You sure cry a lot for someone carrying a machete.
Guess it didn’t work yet. Gravatar said wait ten minutes. Don’t they know I’m busy?
Ok, I’m out. I need to get a workout in so I don’t lapse into a coma before morning. You al have a nice night.
You sure cry a lot for someone carrying a machete.
That’s because I don’t get to use it as often as I want to.
Avatar propagation complete. Now I just have to look up the word propagation.
leon….
words of wisdom…
Nose to Nose
toes are in it…
Toes to Toes
Nose is in it….
it could be worse… she could be a psychotic bitch from hell, that wants you dead…
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0DMbORGYG-M/Sd2wU1uwl-I/AAAAAAAABpM/lgAlhfWTzEE/s400/Misery-Kathy-Bates_l.jpg
Most of the women I’ve “dated” have been 5’9″ or so. I just never managed to meet the petite girls when I was single.
Dick, how’s Kelly’s back tonight?
I don’t have time to fuck around with this avatar shit. I’m superduper busy.
Did it work?
Hahahahaha. I will assume that’s to measure out an 8-ball and not to dispense blind justice.
You have to close your browser and clear your cache. Then log back in and you’ll see your avatar.
I AM THE SMARTEST TECH SUPPORT PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!!
It worked, MIndy.
Now shut the fuck up and get me a jooosbox.
So I’m 6’2″ … why does that qualify me as an asshole? I said, WHY? HUH? WHO STARTED THIS SHIT? SOME SALT FUCKING COMMUNIST I BET. WHADDYA MEAN I HAVE A SHORT FUSE? YOU’RE FULL OF SHIT.
Jam, wtf am I supposed to get from that? I’m not nuzzling any toes.
How about around 20 or so, in the service?
YES, please
Now shut the fuck up and get me a jooosbox.
Hey brad, I don’t do jooos anymore, maybe you didn’t hear about it. You been away a long time.
Clint, Dick started it with his midget talk. I’ll have you people know that I tower over real midgets.
Tower.
Dick, more importantly, how’s Kelly’s front tonight?
Leon, hahahaha! I know you do!!!
Most of the women I’ve “dated” have been 5’9″ or so.
Leon, I’m 5′ 10″ and therefore most of my boyfriends were shorter than me — it didn’t bother me a bit, but if guys couldn’t handle being a bit shorter I figured they weren’t man enough. So it’s cool that you didn’t rule out the taller chicks.
Hahahahaha. I will assume that’s to measure out an 8-ball and not to dispense blind justice.
Measure?
Leon – I’ve met you. You’re not short. As a matter of fact, you are a perfect height.
And I’m sorry if my beer left a ring on the top of your head. That was unintentional.
“Also, women shorter than me are a gift from God. I wish I’d dated one at some point before marrying a woman who’s exactly my height.”
it cold be worse….
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTEwphhNxSJQtCChKxRsmEy-As-8ckb3IPCpOMGm8jAZOa3hTXd
So it’s cool that you didn’t rule out the taller chicks.
It makes for an easy excuse when I stare at teh bewbies, too.
And I’m sorry if my beer left a ring on the top of your head. That was unintentional.
You say that, and yet you asked if I was running a fever before you set it down. Something about “skunking”.
Glad to hear Kelly is doing better, Dick.
Tell her that shampoo is not spelled C-O-N-D-I-T-I-O-N-E-R.
Measure?
Listen Mindy, you know what I mean.
I read on the innernets that with a dead hooker that weighs around 143 pounds, you can fit exactly an 8-ball in her crack.
You’re welcome.
I dated a women who was 4’10″. It made for some athletic “endeavors.”
Well, Dick, that’s the important thing.
The tits, I mean, of course.
JAM – WTF was that?!?!??!!!
I’m getting sleepy. Let’s argue about something.
No link, but latest pile of shit from Krugman included this:
“Right now, each side in that debate passionately believes that the other side is wrong. And it’s all right for them to say that. What’s not acceptable is the kind of violence and eliminationist rhetoric encouraging violence that has become all too common these past two years.
It’s not enough to appeal to the better angels of our nature. We need to have leaders of both parties — or Mr. Obama alone if necessary — declare that both violence and any language hinting at the acceptability of violence are out of bounds. We all want reconciliation, but the road to that goal begins with an agreement that our differences will be settled by the rule of law.”
Yeah. I was going to stay off teh innertubes tonight, but this drags me back in.
BBIAW
I’m in spam hell…
Rosetta, what color protective strap are you wearing tonight?
Where the fuck was Krugman from 2000 to 2008? STFU, you MFCS!
Fuck you, Rosetta!
That’s what we’re talking about.
Master Chief… my bad… i thought leon liked to nuzzle at alongapo…
“me thinks he doth protest too much…”
(leon… just kiddin’)
I’m getting sleepy. Let’s argue about something.
You’re not getting sleepy.
Kinda reminds me of this place from time to time:
http://youtu.be/-c2OM7HEfrs
Eddie, fuck Krugman, and every fucking Democrat who talks about “toning it down.”
They sure didn’t mind heated rhetoric when THEY were in charge. it’s just now that the public has shown them the door that they want speech codes.
Where the fuck was Krugman from 2000 to 2008?
Enron?
Tits. Big or small. Which are better?
Smaller is better, but I say that having married two different women with DDs.
It’s not enough to appeal to the better angels of our nature.
Krugman’s better angels are evil whores and if I had the chance, I would fucking set them on fire. Fuck you, Krugman.
There is the idea out there that if the left can rile the right up enough with their slander and libel and completely fucking outrageous accusations that it will actually push someone on the right over the edge, giving the liberals what they want.
They’re doing a pretty good job of the first part of that I will say.
I think Dick probably about nailed it with what libs want in his recent post. They may very well get it. They’re not going to like the outcome very much though.
Leon, there’s no such thing as too large bewbs … unless we’re talking about really old wimmens, in which case, we may have to renegotiate on that conclusion.
Dick, I just started reading your book. Which cops that you’ve ever known buckle their seatbelts?
I’m out.
Goodnight you planners, scammers and drunks without manners!
Clint, as is so often true, I want what I cannot have.
I think Dick probably about nailed it with what libs want in his recent post. They may very well get it. They’re not going to like the outcome very much though.
Agreed. What they want is to push one person on the right to do what the lunatics on the left have done recently, take a gun and kill people.
I think (and hope) what they’re going to get is thousands of people on the right telling them to their face to shut the fuck up.
If I had the smarts to create a Stuxnet type worm to infiltrate their computers with kiddie porn and get them arrested, that’s what I would do.
Let the excellent prison shower system in this country work its magic.
Rosetta???? Are you still here?
Rosetta, what color protective strap are you wearing tonight?
Liberal blood red.
If I had the smarts to create a Stuxnet type worm to infiltrate their computers with kiddie porn and get them arrested, that’s what I would do.
All you need to do is call the cops. Most of them have kiddie porn already.
Rosetta???? Are you still here?
Hi Beauty. How may I be of service?
All you need to do is call the cops. Most of them have kiddie porn already.
I agree. Krugman doesn’t like kiddie porn? Come on.
Bedtime.
Make me laugh.
Night Dick…
Rosetta, can you PLEASE check the spam??
Make me laugh.
Do you want me to link funny pictures and make fun of people or would you like to pick a person, place, animal or mineral and have me rip the fucker a new asshole?
You choose, honey pie.
Tits. Big or small. Which are better?
The ones in front of you that you are allowed to touch.
Guys, I’m done. The tequila is gone, and chili eaten.
Poor Kelly won’t be able to leap out of bed when the chili kicks in…
Tits. Big or small. Which are better?
The ones in front of you that you are allowed to touch.
Roamy is the thread winnah!!!
Whoa… someone’s discovered the origins of “Together We Thrive”… it’s on Obama’s OFA campaign web site. In a post from 2008.
I didn’t want to be the person that asks this but does Rand Paul use Jheri Curl?
Which Hostagette’s bewbs may I touch in an emergency?
Do you want me to link funny pictures and make fun of people or would you like to pick a person, place, animal or mineral and have me rip the fucker a new asshole?
You choose, honey pie.
Well… that ^ worked. You got me to laugh. Thank you. I’ve just missed you… the vid of the poochie is so cute.
Tits. Big or small. Which are better?
The ones in front of you that you are allowed to touch.
Aw, but those are all hairy and connected to me. No fun.
How come neither nipple on a woman dispenses chocolate milk?
I mean, there were always two dispensers in the mess hall, and one always had chocolate.
**passes bottle of wine to Aggie
*hic*
Not mine, xbrad, unless you want to get kicked in the nuts by me and shot in the nuts by my husband.
Rosetta, can you PLEASE check the spam??
For what? VIAGRA FOR $3 AND A GENUINE ROLAX WATCH!!!?
Peelie! Where have you BEEN?!
Mega, have a link to that? Leave it here, and I can read it in the AM.
Y’all have a great evening!
Aggie, I looked. Nothing in the Spam bucket.
Well… that ^ worked. You got me to laugh. Thank you. I’ve just missed you… the vid of the poochie is so cute.
Hahahaha. You need a good bear hug.
http://tinyurl.com/27xqhkd
I didn’t want to be the person that asks this but does Rand Paul use Jheri Curl?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-aqJ0Qggkg
Hi Peel. Hi Lips. Hi Aggie. Hi Roamy… sheesh… who else is here of the gals?
What is it? Free drinks for the ladies night?
Cathy, Floyd is excited to meet you.
Awwww. Thanks Rosetta. That pic looks like it was taken in the Missouri Botanical Gardens.
Oops…. Aggie took off?
Mega, have a link to that?
Aggie… this goes to tepidair. http://tinyurl.com/6ksj869
Jump down to Dasher’s post at 12:04am. Sorry, I ain’t linking directly to bo.com.
Hi Cathy!
Cathy, my sis used to be a docent at MBG
Cathy, Floyd is excited to meet you.
What did you tell him, Rosetta?
Thank God for it but it blows my mind that hot chicks hang out here.
You ladies must be mental.
On a related note, I told my nephew that Floyd liked to get piggy back rides. This is what that looks like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOUHoucxk6A
Awwww. Thanks Rosetta. That pic looks like it was taken in the Missouri Botanical Gardens.
Are you and what’s his name excited to come to St Louis for the spring meat up?
Cathy, my sis used to be a docent at MBG
That’s cool, Brad. I didn’t know your family ever lived in StL. I miss that place. We could walk there it was so close and were members there for years. Their Japanese Gardens is one of the best in the country… and even the Japanese people who come to visit are impressed with it.
Cathy, I got beer, wine, dirty martinis, and a whiskey sour that is awesome. Whatchu want?
I’m ready, Rosetta. He’ll wanna fly, but I’ll wanna drive.
I don’t want the TSA sticking their filthy hands in my panties.
My sis lived there for a decade or so. I spent one night there. It smelled like desperation and buttlube. I’m guessing she lived near Rosetta.
Dirty Martini, Roamy. Thanks.
Crazy, we managed to get a plot for my father 25 feet from his parents. Have the funeral mass at his old grade school parish and the funeral home is right next door.
Big party Saturday afternoon at Harry Carey’s.
I think he would approve.
Morning, slackers.
smelled like desperation and buttlube.
LOL! Sounds like she lived near the Brewery or the tire factory across the river in Illinois.
What did you tell him, Rosetta?
That you will rub his belly and that you’re awesome.
Awesome chicks like Floyd and Floyd likes awesome chicks.
He also likes snorting like a pig.
Hey Mesa. (((hugs)))
How ya doing?
Mesa! (((HUGS)))
I don’t want the TSA sticking their filthy hands in my panties.
You better drive. I know Michael and if one of those assholes touches you in the Garden of Eden, there is going to be bloodshed.
Plus if you drive, you get to see beautiful Oklahoma!!
*yawn*
Mesa, hand in there, Buddy.
I’m out for the night, but thinking and praying for you .
Big party Saturday afternoon at Harry Carey’s.
I think he would approve.
Buddy, I’m sorry about your Dad. I can’t imagine that loss.
And if he would approve of a party at Harry Carey’s in his honor then I know where you got your awesome from.
Rosetta, we can totally avoid Oklahoma, but then we get Arkansas, I think.
Night Brad.
Rosetta, I’m going to do my damnedest to be there in the spring. I will probably drive as well and avoid TSA.
I’m mostly just really tired.
Major props to my brother and aunt for doing all of the legwork for the family.
A guy called my brother out of the blue today who said he went to grade school and college with my dad and has pictures of my dad from his college football days.
I’ve never seen that stuff, very cool.
Mesa, I’m sorry.
Rosetta, we can totally avoid Oklahoma, but then we get Arkansas, I think.
That’s a good trade off.
http://tinyurl.com/4en3h3x
Mesa, that’s good that you have family and friends there helping and sharing memories.
Mesa, sounds like folks are reaching out to you all. Funeral times can be like that. Might sound weird, but some of the best conversations and laughs I’ve had have been at funerals.
Hang in there. I’m praying for ya.
Roamy, I’m sure hoping you make it.
Rosetta, I’m going to do my damnedest to be there in the spring. I will probably drive as well and avoid TSA.
Road trips, taken in the right frame of mind, are always awesome.
And if you don’t come here for the meat up I will hunt you down and physically assault you.
And only moderately in the good way.
Where did your dad play football, Mesa?
Road trips, taken in the right frame of mind, are always awesome.
See Thompson, Hunter S.
I just need to get stronger, dude. Otherwise, I don’t think Mr. RFH is going to let me out of his sight.
A guy called my brother out of the blue today who said he went to grade school and college with my dad and has pictures of my dad from his college football days.
I’ve never seen that stuff, very cool.
That’s awesome, mesa. I never know what to say in situations like this but I hope the next few days offer you many chances to think great things about your Dad.
Marquette University of all places. The program was canceled while he was there. He had offers to play at some big schools but chose to stay closer to home. He played against Wisconsin, I asked him what that was like — “it hurt, those were some big, strong boys.”
He was a huge football stud, MVP of the state championship game in Illinois that used to be played at Soldier Field in Chicago back when it held 110,000 people — and all 110,000 showed up for that game.
This thread is slower than a turtle making sweet love to a snail.
Sean, do you want to do a new post or should I?
Rosetta, If we come through Arkansas the trip is about 10 1/2 hours. If we take in a chunk of Oklahoma and come through Springfield Missouri the trip is about 10 hours. Actually both routes are mostly pretty drives, I think.
Do you have weekend activities planned yet? We’ll want to know if it makes sense to bring the dogs and if necessary kennel them when we get there… or just kennel them here.
I’ll try to throw something shitty together just to get things moving.
**hugs mesa again
Prayers for you and your family.
Good night, y’all.
Mesa, Marquette University is/was a good school. My brother went to school in Milwaukee Wisconsin and knew some folks at Marquette. Those Jesuits know how to teach.
Good night, Roamy.
I’m fading fast and am gonna bug out too.
Night everybody.
Rosetta, If we come through Arkansas the trip is about 10 1/2 hours. If we take in a chunk of Oklahoma and come through Springfield Missouri the trip is about 10 hours. Actually both routes are mostly pretty drives, I think.
If you go through Springfield you can meet my sister and stay at their place for the night and then drive the last 4 hours the next day. You and Michael would love my sister and my brother in law.
Salt of the earth. SALT I SAY!!!
Rosetta, it’s sad and I know it hasn’t sunk in all the way yet, but when someone has been through as much as that guy — there is a bit of a feeling of relief underneath everything else. The hardest part has been talking with my kids. Gonna have to try hard not to lose it when they get there.
If there is one thing I can say about my dad, he was a great grandfather.
Marquette is a great school — just sucked at football.
Almost thirty years ago I was doing some campaign work way up in northern Michigan and ran into a woman my dad’s age who was a cheerleader there when my dad played.
“Jerry?”
“I could tell you some stories!”
Salt of the earth. SALT I SAY!!!
Yes, gonna go to bed, but just wanted to clarify…
I thought it was fuck salt around here?!
Time for me to get some sleep. Thanks for all the good thoughts.
Cheerleader. Hahaha. That’s great Mesa. I wish I could stay awake…
Night.
Rosetta, it’s sad and I know it hasn’t sunk in all the way yet, but when someone has been through as much as that guy — there is a bit of a feeling of relief underneath everything else. The hardest part has been talking with my kids. Gonna have to try hard not to lose it when they get there.
If there is one thing I can say about my dad, he was a great grandfather.
I remember you telling us about what had happened to him this last year. Bad stuff but he was a strong guy that probably wanted to just rub some dirt on it and move on.
And I can’t imagine what that feels like as a man. When Dad is around you can string out the feeling that you’re the kid. I had dinner with my parents tonight and that thought struck me before I knew your Dad passed away.
The passing of the patriarch torch is a tough one but you’re ready. Your kids know it and so does the rest of your family.
HASTILY THROWN-TOGETHER NEW POAT!!!