I just thought of this. It won’t ever happen but let’s pretend, m’kay?
The federal and state governments are going broke as a motherfucker because government is a stupid whore. What about this idea…
(1) The Fortune 500 corporations together form another corporation called Help The Poor, Inc.
(2) The CEOs and CFOs of those corporations together hire the full management staff and a board of directors.
(3) The Medicaid system and all welfare programs are abolished.
(4) Federal and state corporate taxes are cut in half.
(5) Federal and state governments agree to give half of what they are currently paying towards Medicaid and welfare programs to Help The Poor, Inc.
(6) The CEOs and CFOs, pending approval by 3/4 of their boards of directors also agree to contribute a percentage of their profits to Help The Poor, Inc.
(7) Help The Poor, Inc. is then responsible for the health and welfare of America’s poor.
In my way of thinking this will accomplish two desirable objectives:
(1) Federal and state governments will have fewer unfunded future liabilities and
(B) America’s poor would be better taken of and at less cost.
Can you imagine the shift in the thinking if it was corporate America that took care of the poor and it was excessive government regulation and taxation that ended up hurting the poor by lowering corporate profits ?
I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!!!
Other than the obvious non-reality of this idea, please improve upon or poke holes in this brilliant idea in the comments.
Also, kiss my ass.
*
[Update – Andy]
Better idea. We just need to upgrade our Senators to pull it off:
411 Comments
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Flawlessly naming puppies since March 2009 
Dick, have someone read this post to you and then let me know what you think.
Then kill yourself with fire.
Why can’t we just let the poor starve like they do in China?
Why can’t we just let the poor starve like they do in China?
Because there are some hot chicks that are poor.
Stupid.
was just getting caught up on past poats… the last BBF turned me into petrified wood. Gonna go show it to the wife! Should be back in about 2.5 minutes…
Such abuse.
It’ll never work.
Welfare was never about helping the poor.
It was about the continuing disenfranchisement of the states through liberal application of unfunded mandates, and of course, the building of a dedicated
dependencyvoting block to keep the party of tweedle dumberer in power.Worst. YouTube. Ever!
I like this poat, Rosetta.
*gives Floyd chili*
Aggie, what are you giving your hubby as a going away present?
I mean, I get brownies, and BiW gets filet mingion, I’m curious what he rates?
Should be back in about 2.5 minutes…
She makes you beg for 2.4 minutes? Cruel, Cruel woman.
BiW kind of beat me to this, but there’s one reason nothing like this would ever be implemented.
It removes congress’s ability to Do Something!™ about poverty, thereby securing the votes of the poor (or at least getting them registered so ACORN can vote on their behalf.)
Is Aggie throwing her husband out?
Xbrad, you fucking homewrecker.
I like this poat, Rosetta.
Thanks!
*gives Floyd chili*
I’ll kick your ass.
This post has been updated with something important.
You know what, if you named it Help The Poor Solutions!, Inc., it just might work.
Aggie, what are you giving your hubby as a going away present?
Well, I’ll be wearing this, for starters:
http://tinyurl.com/2djduoz
Or we could call welfare “Daddy’s Fingers”. It might just turn a few more voters off to the idea.
Beg?! Nah. It takes 2.4 minutes for the pills to knock her out – the rest of the time is all me!
Aggie – you wear that – he won’t be going anywhere!
Your supposed to clean the house before he gets back, not before he leaves.
Katy Perry is hot like the heat from a thousand suns.
That is all.
BiW kind of beat me to this, but there’s one reason nothing like this would ever be implemented.
It removes congress’s ability to Do Something!™ about poverty, thereby securing the votes of the poor (or at least getting them registered so ACORN can vote on their behalf.)
You and BiW are citing the primary reason why this would never happen. I know that. But what if it did?
It would simultaneously diminish the demonizing of corporate America, eliminate the use and abuse of the poor from the hands of government bureaucrats and liberals and help people understand the negative effects of taxes and regulation on business.
Stupid bankrupt governments will never relinquish their power to Do Something!™ about poverty but it’s an interesting thought exercise.
Also, boobs.
Is Aggie throwing her husband out?
No, Hubby has a year deployment, Hotspur. 😦
I’ll kick your ass.
I lurv you too!!
You know what, if you named it Help The Poor Solutions!, Inc., it just might work.
Or we could call welfare “Daddy’s Fingers”. It might just turn a few more voters off to the idea.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Both excellent ideas.
Aggie, how old are you?
This poat has been updated with an important video containing enlightened social commentary.
Am I the only person who doesn’t think Katy Perry is all that?
Ha! Excellent update, Andy.
Am I the only person who doesn’t think Katy Perry is all that?
Everyone already knows you’re gay. You don’t need to hate on Katy Perry.
>> Am I the only person who doesn’t think Katy Perry is all that?
Apparently not, given that I had no idea who that even was.
Nice rack, though.
Rosetta, I’m 44.
Dick, Hubby will be going to the Multi-National Force and Observers North Camp in the Sinai.
Brad, Katy Perry isn’t all that.
Is that girl up there holding a sparkly dildo?
I LOVE YOU NOW AGGIE.
And it has nothing to due with the fact that you’re older than me.
Nothing.
No, I’d hit Katy Perry like the 8th Air Force on Dresden
But I’ve linked a shitload of better lookin’ wimmens on Load HEAT.
**looks up Load HEAT of Skylia**
http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/2010/06/07/load-heat-special-guest-edition-2/
Aggie, while we’re playing twenty questions, what are your measurements?
Hm…. do I crush your expectations now? Or wait until the next Meat-Up?
What to do…what to do…..
Than I.
Rosetta, I’m 44.
You look like you’re in your 20s in your PoL pic.
FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH WIN!!!
I’m having a “purifying” dinner tonight. Veggies. Salad. Green drink.
I felt like crap at the gym today.
In the words of Ronaldus Magnus
Aggie, Mr. TiFW confirmed your anecdote from the last poat, “Three times as long, huh?”…..
I agree, Katy Perry ain’t all that (she’s dumb as a rock for starters – marrying Neville Brand doesn’t help), and I’m still not happy about her song “I Kissed a Girl” getting all that airtime on teenybopper stations.
Of course, the boys go crazy for her……
Katy Perry has a great body. I don’t know anything else about her other than she married a giant douche.
Car in, how’s the bellybutton?
Still intact.
Katy Perry kissed a girl and liked it………….. as did I.
I LOVE YOU NOW AGGIE.
Awwwww….
*gives Carin squishy hugs*
Wait…what about me being older, now??
and I’m still not happy about her song “I Kissed a Girl” getting all that airtime on teenybopper stations.
Not to mention the tune about her having sex with her boyfriend making her feel like a teenager again.
TiFW – I do not like her either, but I was posting right behind you and your poat stole my poat’s thunder – as it were.
Wait…what about me being older, now??
It makes me love you all the more.
My love for Peej is always limited by the fact that she is younger than me. The bitch.
See?
My love for you is w/o that constraint.
As we pulled into our neighborhood from our return from purgato…. Illinois. We were delighted to see 2 Bald Eagles camped out in trees overlooking our lake. What a cool site! Sorry to veer off course there.
Boobs
FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH WIN!!!
Seriously? You can’t see the gray?? YOU CAN DO NO WRONG IN MY EYES, EVER!!!
Crush them now and I’ll stop sending over my Bret Farvre specials.
But I like your Brett Favre specials…. If you really want to know, send an email 😉
Than I.
That’s two.
My love for you is w/o that constraint.
Hm…ok.
*gives Carin a backrub*
Wait…Katy Perry is a singer??
I thought she was Spitzer’s call girl…
Than I.
That’s two.</em
THAN ME THAN ME THAN ME THAN ME.
*runs out and gets belly button pierced.
I don’t know if Katy Perry can sing a lick or not but …. she sure has nice hooters.
*gives Carin a backrub*
Can you get my neck? It’s sore …
Oh, and kick Hotspur in the poon.
Aggie, Mr. TiFW confirmed your anecdote from the last poat, “Three times as long, huh?”…..
Heh… heh… heh…
Hey T2D, where so you live?
*tackles Carin, looks at her belly button, fills it with Super Glue*
Franklin, TN
Is the access to PoL with your WP password – mine no worky
Is the access to PoL with your WP password – mine no worky
No. You have to submit a picture of yourself to get the password to PoL.
If you want to participate, email me a recent picture of yourself to
88rosetta88 AT gmail DOT com
and I will email you the password.
And don’t email me any farm porn.
No, the password is massagerosettasprostate.
None of us ever go there.
Fuck! Another long ass poat!!!
None at all?!? I just got some new stuff for Christmas…
From last thread:
I *hate* seeing overweight kid.
*BiW’s inner child flips Car in off with BOTH hands*
BiW’s inner child is a punk?
No, it makes me sad. It does. I can’t help it.
And don’t email me any farm porn.
Does the farm pr0n go to Brad’s email?
**checks email**
“No, the password is massagerosettasprostate.”
Upper or lowercase?
None at all?!? I just got some new stuff for Christmas…
Hahahahahaha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRm8okHhapU&t=0m5s
Carin I was so thankful today while shopping that my daughter isn’t overweight. We saw a lot of them today and it made me sad too. Adolescence and childhood is hard enough without adding weight issues to it. I know that sounds shitty but this one teenager and her Mom…let me just say it was so sad
BRILLIANT PLAN ROSETTA!
*adds onions to Floyd’s chili, and a dash of cayenne
Fat girls need love too! If it weren’t for fat chicks, my high school years would have been much more miserable.
Fat chicks need love to. But they have to pay.
http://tinyurl.com/2dg5n3p
Moms can be so mean to their daughters even when they don’t mean to be. I thought this woman was horrid
the cayenne pepper is so Floyd will wipe his butt on your pillows later.
All the fatists on this site.
Maybe there is something to the claim that it is the last acceptable prejudice.
Chris Christie and I will discuss it the next time we go to dinner.
I have an innie right now…
Why is weight the issue in this poat?
Adolescence and childhood is hard enough without adding weight issues to it. I know that sounds shitty but this one teenager and her Mom…let me just say it was so sad
Yep.
I feel especially bad for overweight little kids.
I know it’s hard. A guy at the gym brings his daughter to the gym to get her to walk off the weight. He tries to help her (he’s nice and supportive – he was overweight as a child and is trying to help her avoid what he went through) -but I wonder what goes on at home. Perhaps the mom isn’t supportive of his efforts.
BiW, I believe the term is anti-fatite.
I have been thin and fat. I prefer thin. I feel better and people are NICER to you. Sad fact
the cayenne pepper is so Floyd will wipe his butt on your pillows later.
I have been training Floyd to kill you when he meets you.
I think it is weighing on people’s minds….
It’s a heavy matter…
Personally, I prefer boob talk.
The next thing you’ll be saying is that they should have their own schools!
http://tinyurl.com/29a6hoj
All the fatists on this site.
I’m not a fatist.
But for people that are unhappy about extra weight, I don’t think people should continue to be unhappy.
My stepmother is trying to lose enough weight so the doctor will give her new knees. Her knees are destroyed because she’s been (severely) overweight for a long time.
My husband is also overweight. I want him to lose it, but he’s got a lot of pressure, etc. I understand it’s difficult. But the docs say he needs to lose, and his apnea is most likely caused by his weight.
I’m not trying to be bitchy.
Most of the people in my family are overweight. NOt just 20 pounds.
>> I have been training Floyd to kill you when he meets you.
Hahahahahaha.
If he scrapes ass on your pillow, good doggy.
If he scrapes ass on Mrs. Rosetta’s pillow, bad dog! Bad. What did you do? What did you do? Were you bad? Yes you were. Yes you were you cute little sweetums.
*swaps pillows around
People don’t talk enough about donkey rape.
I’ve always felt like my 4″ thumbs were a nuisance. I’d considered thumb reduction surgery until I saw how vmax’s turned out.
I thought the issue was donkey rape.
Huh…. I thought it was about Katy Perry doinking Eliot Spitzer.
People don’t talk enough about donkey rape.
– – – – – – – – –
Did you see that ass’s unit? It speaks for itself.
Are yall talking about Boo Foo?
Huh…. I thought it was about Katy Perry doinking Eliot Spitzer.
– – – – – – – –
The conversation has now come full circle!
*high fives Aggie*
*checks home page for new poat*
*starts MLADR*
Comment by Andy on December 28, 2010 7:51 pm
People don’t talk enough about donkey rape.
Hahahahahahaha.
Also, I don’t know how to do that new HTML trick.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
I was donkey raped in college. Bastard said it was consensual. It was my word against the Donkey’s.
Who do you think they believed?
*pauses to consider if this crosses the line
The conversation has now come full circle!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh, and a word of advice, don’t search for “donkey rape” on YouTube.
Fastest. Search Warrant. Ever!
If it makes anybody feel better (like I give a flying fuck if that ever happens) I’m overweight 40 lbs according to those bullshit BMI charts.
– – – – – – –
I beat anorexia!
The conversation has now come full circle JERK!
Earlier today Peel mentioned her swype keyboard. I had never heard of this, and Peel is smart, so I googled it. WOW! That is awesome.
Before I knew what it was I checked out my phone to see if I had one and pushed a button on my keyboard that I was unfamiliar with. A screen popped up and said “speak now”, so I did and it typed it. WOW! I don’t have to type anymore!
It’s a Kwanzaa miracle! Thanks Peelie.
Sohos, Mr. TiFW just pulled my SS shirt out of the dryer and said, “Tell your Secret Santa I said THANK YOU”…….
You know who is perpetually donkey raped? Corporations and the poor in this country.
*wins Nobel Prize for making on-topic comment*
I don’t dig those BMI charts. I don’t think they are accurate.
I am more attracted to a person’s intellect than to physical aspects.
Dinnertime!! BBL
The BMI chart was made by a skinny metrosexual nancy boy.
I am more attracted to a person’s intellect than to physical aspects.
At my age (cough cough) I’m more concerned about my husband’s health. Heart problems run in his family. He’s got borderline diabetes, high blood pressure, and sleep apnea.
He needs to lose the weight. Period. It’s not all about looks.
And maybe it’s just me, but the majority of these “fat” kids that we’re seeing are all getting free breakfasts and lunches from the Federal Government, as well as Food Stamps in most cases.
The current gov’t guidelines advocate an extremely low-fat, high-grain (6-11 servings) diet. If a school doesn’t follow these “healthy” guidelines, they don’t get federal funding.
You wanna fatten up livestock? Ask any rancher how to do that, and they will tell you to feed them extra grain……
Look at the expiration dates on a carton of skim milk, then look at the expiration date on a carton of heavy whipping cream. Look at how long it takes extremely lean meat to start to go bad, then look at how much longer you can keep fattier meat before it starts to spoil.
Then tell me that “fat” is a bad thing……
That is what I’m here for Tifw!
http://tinyurl.com/26mdx57
I am more attracted to a person’s intellect than to physical aspects.
Well. I guess I’m just doubly fucked over by fate, huh?
My kids eat bread and pasta all day long.
They also run around a lot and play with each other.
I read a while ago about how much food gets wasted in those school lunches. Kids aren’t getting fat from lunch; certainly not lunch alone.
Breakfasts, snacks, unhealthy dinners. Soda.
As good ol’ boy Ron White says, “You can’t fix stupid”…..
Carin how old you is?
Obesity became a problem when we stopped using sugar. I blame sugar substitutes.
FUCK CORN SYRUP!
Hot chicks, please rank the following on the scale of importance:
(1) Good looks
(2) Sense of humor
(3) Wealth
(4) Size of Edward Penishands
(5) Come from a good family
(6) Bald head
43. As in, one year younger than Aggie.
6, 4, 3, 1, 2, 5
Car in, I was typing my earlier comment while you were posting yours – please don’t think that I am in ANY way dismissing your concerns with your husband’s health issues. Sorry if it sounded that way……
I agree with your comment as well, Scott – which is why we use sugar whenever possible at the TiFW household. After all, corn IS a grain……
There are a couple of different ways to interpret that Car in.
Is a bald head the most important?
Asks the guy with the full head of hair…..
No, I know you didn’t mean that.
Forgotten in the debate about whether someone is a fattist, is that for many people there are health issues related to excess weight. Serious issues. Debilitating issues. My stepmonster can barely walk – she’s 65.
I’ve got it all around me. It’s not just about looking good in a bathing suit.
ha. kid run
Scott how ’bout them Saints?
I’m attracted to just about any woman that can look at me without hurling…
DD#2 went out with friends to see a movie tonight, wearing the “Crime Scene Tape” scarf I bought her for Christmas. Glad to know she liked one of her presents!
I’m attracted to (in order) walks on four legs, science nerds, big tits, conservative, extra dirty in the sack.
There you go.
http://www.nationalreview.com/the-feed/255987/luke-these-are-your-tax-dollars-work
You know what, if you named it Help The Poor Solutions!, Inc., it just might work.
Never. Gets. Old EVER!
4
It was a close game Sohos, glad you enjoyed it.
Still think it’s going to be the Eagles for the NFC.
Comment by sohos on December 28, 2010 8:22 pm
4
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
*tackles sohitabonita*
How do you know that you’ve been haniging around this site too long? When a cat jumps up on you, you actually think about typing “I have a big hairy pussy sitting on my chest”, just to see what other people will say…..
You guys are a bad influence on innocent li’l ol’ me!
Also, I don’t know how to do that new HTML trick.
Fuck, if we had to wait until you figured out how to do an HTML “trick” before we could, this place would still be hosted by Compuserve.
Fuck, if we had to wait until you figured out how to do an HTML “trick” before we could, this place would still be hosted by Compuserve.
Why don’t you STFU?
*smashes Commodore 64 over Floyd’s head*
I’m attracted to just about any woman that can look at me without hurling…
Which explains your obsession with on-line porn……
Why don’t you STFU?
Why don’t you?
I HATE YOU!!!
*stomp stomp stomp stomp
SLAM!
I’m going to whine for a moment and Dick can just suck it while I do so.
Tomorrow my mechanic will be replacing the upper and lower ball joints on both sides on the front of my car. There’s also something about the split axle on the passenger side, it’s rubber bootie is no longer in existence. By the time all is said and done, it’s about $1000. That’s another thousand that I don’t have.
Ok, whining is over.
Dick, you can still keep sucking tho.
*lurking and taking notes…*
>> it’s rubber bootie is no longer in existence.
CV joint boot. Painful. Not as painful as replacing a CV joint though.
Looks like wiserdaughter’s impersonating wiser again.
Why don’t you STFU?
Why don’t you?
I HATE YOU!!!
*stomp stomp stomp stomp
SLAM!
YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!!!!
*steals car, drives to boyfriend’s house*
CV joint boot. Painful
Actually, that’s the cheapest part of the deal.
Heh. Ball joints.
Ewww, no tongue. This guy is a 3 pack a day smoker. I draw the line there 😉
I’ve known him for a while. He’s charging me $36/hr in labor and he does parts at cost.
Hey Tattooed Strawberry, you could probably buy a decent used car for $1,000 nowadays.
*hits Dick in head with sledgehammer*
Hey Tattooed Strawberry, you could probably buy a decent used car for $1,000 nowadays.
Yeah, and then do tax/title/license on it, and start the whole repair process over again? Nopers. I’ll just keep dropping money into the pit I already own.
Tattoo, if you pay me $900 I’ll kill Dick and steal his car and give it to you.
Sup, you taint-licking, Beck-listening wingnuts?
Well. I guess I’m just doubly fucked over by fate, huh?
In all seriousness, I happen to think you are very handsome, so STFU.
43. As in, one year younger than Aggie.
Rub it in…. in perpetuity….
I’m attracted to (in order) science nerds, big tits, conservative, extra dirty in the sack. Oh, and girls GOT to learn how to look up at their men and toss out a dirty lil’ smile during the midst of a blowjob.
I want to subscribe to your newsletter, Dick.
>> Actually, that’s the cheapest part of the deal.
I was unclear. The boot protects the CV joint from dirt and water. Replacing the boot is not too bad, replacing the CV joint itself considerably more expensive.
Kind of a pain cause you have to pull the wheel, disconnect the outer end of the driveshaft, pull the lower ball joint off the steering thingy, and the driveshaft from the transaxle. Labor intensive, usually an hour or so.
Tattoo tomorrow I am taking mine in. Whenever I get to a light it dies. I an able to crank it right back up but sometimes when I am turning it just dies and that is just too dangerous with DD riding in the car
Okay, so he may have $200 in parts, max. And that’s only if he buys retail.
CV boot cover is $108 in parts.
Upper ball joints are $142 x2
Lower ball joints are $137×2
I made the phone calls for those parts Monday while he was doing the oil change.
“He’s charging me $36/hr in labor and he does parts at cost.”
That is not possible unless he is working out of his mothers basement.
That is not possible unless he is working out of his mothers basement.
One man shop. He cuts me a deal b/c he’s a friend.
Sohos, my guess if fuel pump. Let me know if I’m right.
I dunno about that Rosetta. Cash for clunkers dropped the bottom out of the good cheap used car market. When I was looking for one 4 months ago I couldn’t find anything drivable for under 3k. Even then I had to settle for high miles and I’ve sank another 1k in it to fix motor mounts, valve cover gasket, front axle, new radiator…
blah blah blah
$20
>> that is just too dangerous with DD riding in the car
Shouldn’t that be plural, as in DD’s?
Did you have an accident?
…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The Ford dealer gave Herself $4K for her piece of shit Dodge Stratus. Moved it off the lot in 5 days!?
Which model of Lamborghini is this?
Isuzu Trooper 1998
Dick is a small tittyist.
Car in – My sister moved to Fenton. How far is that from you?
don’t know what happened to my comment, mine is charging me 72/hr we know him. He thinks it is something to do in the fuel line/pump crap. To say I can’t afford this is an under statement so I feel your pain Tats
Oh, my boys play Fenton in football. It must not be too far. Lemme check /double check. I’d say it’s 30 min away.
Goodness!
I started reading “Unbroken a WWII story of survival resilience and redemption”
Wow it is good. Riveting.
I do have 3 kids but only Nina really rides with me.
I think she already did the math on em, although yeah, those Mevoteks are only $56 ea.
I dunno about that Rosetta. Cash for clunkers dropped the bottom out of the good cheap used car market. When I was looking for one 4 months ago I couldn’t find anything drivable for under 3k. Even then I had to settle for high miles and I’ve sank another 1k in it to fix motor mounts, valve cover gasket, front axle, new radiator…
blah blah blah
$20
There are a lot of people out there who were in prison when cash for clunkers was going on who couldn’t take advantage of the program.
They have used card to sell for $1,000.
Duh.
Okay, have at it.
He was going to make some calls and see what he could find, was hoping to get the costs down some. I’ll talk to him tomorrow about it when I take it in.
Tattoo, is your car plugged in? Try plugging it in.
Dick, where has Kelly been? We only tolerate your shit around here because of her.
Did you kill her because you were drunk on moonshine on Christmas?
Tattoo, is your car plugged in? Try plugging it in.
The cord won’t reach the outlet.
Duh.
http://tinyurl.com/2bvgh4m
Stray Nipple hairs???
>> Stray Nipple hairs???
Mine aren’t strays. They have a pattern.
Kinda.
Did anybody give anybody else a lobotomy today?
Did anybody give anybody else a lobotomy today?
Fed the frog today. He got a red wriggler worm and looked like he was having an orgasm. Does that count?
No, Tats, that does not count.
Serenity is on
No, Tats, that does not count.
Dammit!
One of these days I’m going to get it right.
Ouch! And Gross!
Icepicks are more traditional, Dick, but I’m hardly a stickler.
By the way, I got a copy of yer book for Chrimmas.
Did anybody give anybody else a lobotomy today?
12 shots of vodka = temporary lobotomy
Yes?
You get partial credit, Vman.
Big or small, I love them all…
36A, 27″, 38″ 😉
12 shots of vodka = temporary lobotomy
Yes?
Hahahahahaha.
TAKE THAT PRE-FRONTAL CORTEX!!!
Sean, what are you wearing RIGHT NOW!!!
Hi honey, I’m home!
Dick, I gave my FIL a copy of your book for Christmas. He called me to thank me because he really liked it, and to ask why he had never heard of you before.
I told him I have friends in high places.
Absolute perfection!
That’s an “A” after the “36”, Dick…not an “H” 😉
Aggie. it’s the girl, not the bra size.
Correct.
Dick, how can someone buy a copy of your book?
*replaces Dave’s pecan pie with Floyd poop pie*
Wow this pecan pie is AWESOME
Dick, how can someone buy me a copy of your book?
I have a great deal more appreciation for flat chested girls now than I did 30 years ago. If an old gal is long armed, long waisted, long limbed, and has a thin shoulders and neck, I think itty bitties are a lovely accentuation.
A set of a cups on a 5’2″ woman with a 44″ waist is a whole nutha story.
I bought it on Amazon for a dollar.
How can I buy my dick a book?
Aggie. it’s the girl, not the bra size.
*gives Dick a case of Cuervo Black, a new power drill, and a five year subscription to Hustler*
Wow this pecan pie is AWESOME
Hahahahahahahahaahhaa.
No cash, no grass, no ass. NO FREE BOOK.
Ok, what’s it called?
*also, dear ladies. Boobies are awesome and come in all sizes. Oh, and yes, I know your eyes are “up there”.
I bought it on Amazon for a dollar.
Rip off.
Sean, what are you wearing RIGHT NOW!!!
Yellow Converse Hi-tops, argyle knee socks, lime green pleather hotpants, a black mesh tank top, and an authentic WWI Doughboy helmet.
Rip off.
Bite me, are you going to send them $5 when they want 1?
I saw a tshirt in Cozumel that said, “Tell your tits to quit staring at my eyes!”
I would’ve bought it, but I’m something of a roll model in my community.
While Dick deserves it, Amazon does not.
36DD…don’t know the rest and couldn’t find my tape measure so tune in tomorrow
roll model = role model
Although, their may be no difference in my case.
*munches Twinkie and Ho Ho Pie*
Is it safe to come out yet?
Speaking of Amazon, the book I helped edit? The author now decided to jack up the price to $22. For a paperback. Dumb ass.
36DD…don’t know the rest and couldn’t find my tape measure so tune in tomorrow
*suddenly realises that it’s been a while since I’ve looked at the pictures on sohos’ facemonkey page*
I’m something of a roll model in my community.
pendejo?
http://tinyurl.com/25jnuqe
>> couldn’t find my tape measure so tune in tomorrow
Here, you can use my thumb.
Everyday is a good day for a lobotomy. Just ask Bwarney Fwanks.
I think you had the men at “36DD”, sohos… 😉
Is it safe to come out yet?
BisW!!!!
*SMOOOOOCHES*
pendejo?
http://tinyurl.com/25jnuqe
I forgot my coppertone that day.
I volunteer my tape measure for Tattoo.
STFU geoff!
http://tinyurl.com/37a54us
Ok, I ordered me a book.
I volunteer my tape measure for Tattoo.
Such a sweetie but I actually have 2 of my own.
BiW, I’m running in the high 280’s right now. How bout you and me get back to back and ask politely that every one else here tongue our squeakers.
Although to be quite honest, I felt better in the mid 250’s a couple of years ago, and fully intend to be at 250 by the end of May.
>> I’m running in the high 280′s right now.
You gots a bad fever. You better take some Tylenol and stay away from explosives.
Yeah and that’s kelvin.
Such a sweetie but I actually have 2 of my own.
But are they Fat Max’s!?
PG, my FB photo was me at 190. I was riding about 150 miles a week on the bike, and running 12 miles a day. I could also only eat once a day, at dinner, or I’d cramp up.
I don’t have that kind of time to dedicate to it right now.
But are they Fat Max’s!?
Nope, but one’s purple.
Was kelvin the kid that had that stuffed tiger he pretended was real?
That was a funny cartoon.
>> Dave, I now love you.
Well, it was a used one.
Let’s get back on topic, shall we?
http://is.gd/jFTve
Ok, I ordered me a book.
http://tinyurl.com/27c34tu
Ok, I ordered me a book.
http://tinyurl.com/24x8rvf
There you go.
My guests are watching a movie called He’s Not That Into You.
I want to take Dick’s new power drill and drive it into my eyes.
Huh. NBC is broadcasting the game on the internets.
Hey, the Vikings scored again.
Ok, I ordered me a book.
Delta of Venus? Fear of Flying? Lady Chatterley’s Lover? Fred and Ed Choose a Double Dong?
Worst counseling session ever:
Show me on this live Clydesdale where the donkey raped you.
STFU Rosetta.
http://tinyurl.com/36w7tdt
My guests are watching a movie called He’s Not That Into You.
I want to take Dick’s new power drill and drive it into my eyes.
I don’t know about his power drill, but if you ask nicely, he might let you borrow his copy of ‘Pump Boys and Dinettes’.
My guests are watching a movie called He’s Not That Into You.
I want to take Dick’s new power drill and drive it into my eyes.
I actually want to run the first 2/3 of that movie as a PSA. I hate listening to some empty headed, blonde, dimbo go on and on and on about some dude who didn’t call her back, or they’ve dated like 3 times and she thinks it’s serious.
What guests? In-laws?
Hubby’s best friend, her hubby, and their son. My inlaws come (gulp..) the day after tomorrow.
if you ask nicely, he might let you borrow his copy of ‘Pump Boys and Dinettes’.
Either way, it would be a blessing.
Biw, I haven’t seen 190 since ’75. I haven’t run 12 miles in a day. Ever.
But I dig me some p90x. Gonna start a new cycle next Monday morning at 5:30.
I’ll hurt badly for a week or so. Then I’ll hurt moderately.
Okay, I ordered me a book
http://tinyurl.com/2cnpxts
Kelvin Klein was awesome in A Fish Called Wanda.
Kelvin Klein was awesome in A Fish Called Wanda.
You are so dumb. Kelvin Klein was Michael J. Fox’s character in Back to the Future.
duh.
I don’t talk much about what I read on here but this is an awesome book.
http://tinyurl.com/2fqwoso
I’ll take both of you on at the same time in a no rules fight.
This is Dick’s way of saying he wants to grab your junk.
I don’t have that kind of time to dedicate to it right now.
Good excuse, bud! I like that one.
Cycling that much worked out to about an hour a day M-F, and 2-2.5 hours a day on the weekend.
Running that much was 2.5 hours a day with warm ups and cool downs.
I have the morning shift with the boys, and the evening shift, which isn’t really over until 9pm-10pm, and work from 8 to 5, add 2 hours a day for the commute to and from, and it adds up to…..nope.
I don’t talk much about what I read on here but this is an awesome book.
niiiiice…..
Ok I’m back, did I miss anything and who’s the gay dude in taxed2death’s avatar?
Why she gotta be blonde?
I wonder if Obama is gonna call the Eagles owner after this game?
DOGPILE ON PAJAMA MOMMA!!!!
I heard that Obama had some Shave Ice today.
AWESOME!!!!
I’ll take both of you on at the same time in a no rules fight.
*pays for PPV*
*gets popcorn*
Why she gotta be blonde?
She doesn’t. That just happens to be the dimbo at works hair color for the moment.
I’ll take both of you on at the same time in a no rules fight.
I didn’t get to be 50 years old by driving 6 hours to get gut shot by a brick layer.
Dick, why the fuck do you care what BiW’s exercise routine looks like, or doesn’t look like?
Oh no, oh no, don’t be jumpin’ on me!
I heard you insult that incredibly funny joke I wrote for wiserbud.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Tats is a blondist
Dick, why the fuck do you care what BiW’s exercise routine looks like, or doesn’t look like?
Dick used to date BiW.
I’m not reading this.
http://tinyurl.com/2v5ht4v
Tats is a blondist
*sigh*
You caught me! I work at it, but it’s an everyday struggle.
Ahh, thanks Rosie, that clears things up.
pray for me, Kelvin.
http://tinyurl.com/2cdwxhb
Dick used to date BiW.
Seriously? That’s too bad.
^^ BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Because, dumbass. I love BiW like a brother and don’t want to see his kids standing over his grave when they’re eighteen years old.
Oh that’s awesome. So instead you’ll harangue him about it, ‘cuz that’s ever helpful. And ‘cuz we all know that every fatty out there dies at like zomg 40.
^^ BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
on of a BITCH!!!!!!
The dimbo at my office has jet black hair, she is full blooded Italian and makes me fucking crazy!
Oh no, oh no, don’t be jumpin’ on me!
I heard you insult that incredibly funny joke I wrote for wiserbud.
What do you have to say for yourself?
BEHAVE!!
Hahahahahahahaha.
*STUPID NEW HTML BULLSHIT!!!*
man, my “s” didn’t even show up. I can see how this evening is going to go
*STUPID NEW HTML BULLSHIT!!!*
Don’t act like you didn’t love that!
The dimbo at my office has jet black hair, she is full blooded Italian and makes me fucking crazy!
hot.
pjm are your buttons supposed to link to something? cause they’re just laying there doing nothing when I click them. Not unlike Mrs. Pendejo.
The dimbo at my office has jet black hair, she is full blooded Italian and makes me fucking crazy!
I have one at the office that’s black going grey.
The dimbo at my office has jet black hair, she is full blooded Italian and makes me fucking crazy!
I’m missing something aren’t I?
Who’s the blonde you were originally talking about?
Mr. beasn bought us an elliptical for Christmas. Says we’re getting to ‘that’ age where shit starts breaking down and falling off.
Says it’s not good to only get my blood pressure up when Obama opens his piehole.
*shifts fat ass on sofa*
Those ellipticals make really good clothes hangers……
WTF,
calling it a night
>> Don’t act like you didn’t love that!
I’m not installing another browser just for the button links.
I have heard that Teresa, but he put it in the library. The clothes hang out in the family room on the sofas.
Who’s the blonde you were originally talking about?
I mentioned that my guests were watching He’s Not That Into You, and TI wants to make the first 2/3 of film into a PSA because of the whiny blonde.
pjm are your buttons supposed to link to something? cause they’re just laying there doing nothing when I click them. Not unlike Mrs. Pendejo.
They all work for me except for the first DICK AND BIW button
and obviously the “behave” on worked for rosetta
biw couldn’t get his to work because he’s on IE8
Which would you rather masturbate with?
A) Sandpaper
B) An elderly relative’s set of dentures
Hardly wiserbabe she is an over weight 50 year old who thinks she is 22 and Gossips NON_STOP and calls it “girl talk”
Well, in that case, you can wave to it every time you pass by the library…..
G’night, Vmax!!!
*hugs for Vmax and Ruby*
>> Which would you rather masturbate with?
I guess A since I haven’t tried that one yet.
I’m not installing another browser just for the button links.
bummer deal, dude
Those ellipticals make really good clothes hangers……
Hahahahahahahaha!
Teresa, if you make me laugh 3 times in one day, it’s a sign of the apocalypse. That’s 2.
I mentioned that my guests were watching He’s Not That Into You, and TI wants to make the first 2/3 of film into a PSA because of the whiny blonde.
grassy ass
I guess A since I haven’t tried that one yet.
I love you so much.
Which would you rather masturbate with?
A) Sandpaper
B) An elderly relative’s set of dentures
I don’t know, I think this is a trick question, but I’m going to go with “C”. That’s my final answer
beasn what brand did y’all get? I may want a product review from you after a few months.
I used to have access to one where I worked. But I changed jobs and moved to a different community and haven’t found a way to access one here. I don’t even remember what brand I used to use, but I liked the shit out of it.
Listen up, sweetheart.
This is between me and BiW, and I’ll ride his ass like a Tijuana whore if I think it’ll help.
You’re right and it’s none of my business.
I’m out for the night.
Heh. Went on FB, couldn’t access DD#3’s Wall, asked her if she unfriended me, she said “No”…..
…..few minutes later, I can access her Wall again (threatening her with no Internet access worked wonders……)
>> I love you so much.
Well, dad had a full set of uppers and lowers.
…
I brushed em first.
Which would you rather masturbate with?
A) Sandpaper
B) An elderly relative’s set of dentures
So far I haven’t discovered anything wrong with my hands. I think I’ll just carry on.
Rosie, I’m a barrel of laughs – just ask my maladjusted children!
What happens if I make you laugh a 3rd time?
What would you rather fasten to you nipples?
A) A couple of barracudas
b) Live jumper cables?
see, now I’ve done both of those.
pendejo, it’s a Gold’s Gym from Wallyworld. The daughter, a cross country runner, broke it in today and was sweating like a pig. Took her a bit to get her land legs back.
I’m gonna start out reeeallllllll slow ’cause I don’t think my heart can take a full sweat any time soon.
What would you rather fasten to you nipples?
A) A couple of barracudas
b) Live jumper cables?
A) Ann and Nancy Wilson
Test
see, now I’ve done both of those.
Yeah, that wasn’t too hard to call…
I’m also going nite nite
interesting. If I type the whole button dealio in IE8, I can’t even do the button at all. it’s just a hyperlink
LAAAAAAAAME
A) Ann and Nancy Wilson
DAMMIT!! Play the game right, would ya already??!?!?
I mean, cmon. Now if you had offered up C) branding irons, we mighta had a deal there.
benjamin
Wiser:
http://tinyurl.com/clm26u
Thanks beasn. I did 30 minutes on one on cruise ship last week. Felt great. But my calves were really sore the next two days. I like them a lot better than a treadmill or a stationary bike.
LAAAAAAAAME
Benjamin
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!
fail again….
Aggie, I’ve seen you in your ball gown. No way you’re an A cup.
Went on FB, couldn’t access DD#3′s Wall, asked her if she unfriended me, she said “No”…..
My daughter refused to friend me. She friended her aunt – my sister – but not me. Says I’m a snoop. Er…everyone you friend has access to your shit at their fingertips but you want me to not look if you friend me? And did you know your aunt is a bigger snoop than me and will report to me?
So she finally sent me a friend request. I tell her that I will think about it.
>> Test
Is this like, part of your final exam or something?
Well, the world needs hairdressers too.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!
fail again….
That was the point stupid. I didn’t put anything for it to link to.
That was Benjamin Button
Aggie, I’ve seen you in your ball gown. No way you’re an A cup.
It was the angle. And the lighting.
Wiser:
That’s from Crank 2, right?
How did they fix the little problem of him dying at the end of Crank 1?
Okay I’m going to go watch Edward Penishands V: Tourette’s Guy Does Sign Language .
I’ll see you funny people tomorrow.
Remember: Friends don’t let friends get raped by donkeys unless they want it and sign a waiver for getting raped by a donkey.
WORST FIELD TRIP EVER!!!
DAMMIT!! Play the game right, would ya already??!?!?
I’ll admit that I”m pushing the envelope, but I feel I’m well within the established rules.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barracuda_(song)
Is this like, part of your final exam or something?
Well, the world needs hairdressers too.
yes and it worked, so neener. that’s why the buttons worked…….just not on IE
That was Benjamin Button
No it wasn’t.
If it’s not compatible with IE 8 it ain’t shit.
Everybody knows this.
*microwaves a large goat until it explodes.
Losing weight, yes, definitely need to do that. Heart is still being a cranky bitch, though.
My FIL got the “go fuck yourself” LOOK for saying to me at the restaurant last night, “You *still* eating?”
Hell if I know, Wiser. I’m woefully ignorant of movie physics.
What would you rather have attached to your nuts?
A.) a brick at the end of a hook
B.) Barney Frank
*too easy*
Point to Pendejo – well played, sir!
Would you prefer to bite down hard on:
A) A petrified piece of dog shit
B) A frozen used tampon.
Well, that angle and lighting really worked for you.
Who knew you had two eyeballs?
at least with A I’ll get some stiches but no incurable diseases.
So she finally sent me a friend request. I tell her that I will think about it.
hahahaha
besides, I already had bricks and hooks on my junk.. that’s how they did vasectomies back in the day.
Who knew you had two eyeballs?
I put in the glass eye for special occasions.
I figure I should say what’s going on. The last couple of days my heart has been beating irregulary. Kind of makes me cough or get out of breath, then tonight laying down I have some sharp pains like heart burn shooting through me ugh! I am going to sleep. Could ne axiety?
No it wasn’t.
Fine. It was Benjamin “non-working” Button
Happy?
Aggie, my grandfather had a glass eye.
**runs sobbing from the room**
Could be anxiety, or could be a really fucking good time to schedule a visit with your doctor!
Beauty School Dropout. . .
>> Could ne axiety?
Yes, it could.
But you should go get it checked and make sure.
*kicks herself for being insensitive*
Sorry, Brad. I didn’t know.
I guess I should go for the evening. Y’all have a good one.
Ok goodnight all
No, stick around, Aggie.
You ever hear about the one eyed hooker?
>> Could ne axiety?
Nah, it’s probably nothing.
Take two of these and call me in the morning.
http://tinyurl.com/29ndukm
You ever hear about the one eyed hooker?
I really am sorry if I upset you, Brad. And no, I have never heard of a one-eyed hooker.
Night sohos. I hope you feel better AND I hope you get it checked out.
*takes out both glass eyes, shakes them in a can, and throws them onto the table. Cmon seven!
The last couple of days my heart has been beating irregulary
Get it checked out. This diet you are on is not depriving you of certain nutrients?
How would you rather die?
A.) a carrot through the eye socket
B.) wiser’s used tampon dropped in your lap
Aggie, in no way, shape or form did you upset me.
Even though gramps really did have a glass eye.
So there’s this one eyed hooker.
Guy goes and fucks her, and in the middle of it, she pops out the glass eye, and lets him skull fuck her. It was AWESOME. Guy says he’s gonna come back for me.
Hooker says, “Great, I’ll keep an eye out for you!”
I really am sorry if I upset you, Brad. And no, I have never heard of a one-eyed hooker.
hahaha, you’re kidding right?
Never, ever, I mean EVER be concerned about b-rad’s feelings. That’s like, rule #2 after don’t talk about what happens at Fight Club
B. I want to be sure to leave a good-looking corpse.
Sohos, coughing/out of breath and irregular heartbeat is NEVER something to ignore. Add sharp pains to it? Go see your doctor TOMORROW, girlfriend – no excuses……
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
You sumbitch!! I spewed my wine all over!!!
SNAKE EYES!
Wiser, have you ever seen that movie ‘Shoot ’em up’ with Clive Owens? What a suckfest. He killed a guy by shoving his carrot through the dude’s eye socket.
You sumbitch!! I spewed my wine all over!!!
Sent you a picture of himself, did he?
yeah, happens to all of us at one time or another.
And remember Sohos, you should listen to us – some of us were pre-med…..
Never, ever, I mean EVER be concerned about b-rad’s feelings.
I can’t help it, PJM. It’s my nature….
He killed a guy by shoving his carrot through the dude’s eye socket.
I can see that happening if it was like, 14 carrot or something
Aggie, I’m not at all sure you could hurt my feelings if you tried.
I’m ready for a day without wind and at least 2 degrees above freezing please.
pjm, it was carrot, not karat.
xbrad, my son really like his bracelet thingie for the Dick Winters monument
*sends patch kit for dolly in gratitude*
Hey,
SugartitsPJ, we’re still on for the 1st, right?Karat Top is the worst comedian ever.
Wiser, have you ever seen that movie ‘Shoot ‘em up’ with Clive Owens? What a suckfest. He killed a guy by shoving his carrot through the dude’s eye socket.
That movie was AWESOME!!!
Just plain stupid action with absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.
Loved it.
Karat top is one scarey looking tranny.
I’m glad, Beasn.
He’s a hell of an officer, and soldier. And he’s just one of thousands like him.
Every time I see him I want to punch wiserbud in the baby-maker.
I can’t help it, PJM. It’s my nature….
awwwwwwwww, so cute. Well, we need you to counterbalance wiserbud, so….
Hey, Sugartits PJ, we’re still on for the 1st, right?
Don’t ever cross out Sugartits again!! You hear? Anyhoo, yes, but only if sean’s coming. I’ve already met you and Andy before. I invited Paulitics too, but he declined, something about still being heartbroken about you and him?
Aggie, I’m not at all sure you could hurt my feelings if you tried.
Well, I won’t ever try.
Just plain stupid action with absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.
I LOL’ed when he placed his hand in the fireplace to make the bullets fire.
A wet nursing hooker is an important element of any major action film.
Look, Sugartits (I’ve seen ’em, and they’re spectacular), just get your happy ass here.
Every time I see him I want to punch wiserbud in the baby-maker.
Well, we need you to counterbalance wiserbud, so….
Why all the hate?
Look, Sugartits (I’ve seen ‘em, and they’re spectacular), just get your happy ass here.
Does that mean seanm is going to be there?
>> Why all the hate?
It’s not hate. It just makes me giggle to punch you in the ovaries.
And on that dumb line, I’ma gittin to bed. Later fagz.
He said he was gonna be here.
**feels bad about just how disappointed PJ is going to be when she actually meets Sean**
I’m outta here also. Gonna go watch some more One Tree Hill.
And Tora, Tora, Tora.
Hm…guess I’ll git along too.
Y’all have a great evening. I am soooo jealous of PJM right now….
GAH!!
Climb Mount Nitaka.
**feels bad about just how disappointed PJ is going to be when she actually meets Sean**
I don’t care about disappointment, I just want another notch in my belt
Hi Guys. Just got back from walking the pooches in the rain and read all the comments.
Dave, you’re on a roll. LOL!
Hi PJM. I wanna learn ‘buttons’ too. I’m proud of ya.
Zippers are faster.
Hi Chief. Everybody leave but you?
Hey. My timing is perfect. I’ll just turn the lights out as I leave…
Yeas, ma’am. I’m somewhat disappointed as I showered today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHlcW_lKPl4
Chief,
Long ago and far away, that song. Much water under the bridge…
ChrisPy – How are you this evening?
Lotsa pain, not enough/too much whiskey.
Waiting for the predicted snow and trying to ‘self-medicate’ myself to sleep.
Hope all is well for you & Herself!
Hanging in there, brother. What is the latest on your surgery?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0kypyGSKsE
Off to bed. . .
Whey all da white pussy at?
http://tinyurl.com/yjrxzda
There you go.
Kinda died early around here tonight
so, i’m trying to decide if Bombay Sapphire or canadian whiskey as the Booze of the Week
Moonshine. Can’t go wrong with that.
Unless you go blind. But you still get the thrill of disobeying the revenuers.
Unless you go blind. But you still get the thrill of disobeying the revenuers.
Well, I need my eyes and I disobey the revenuers about as much as I can get away with already.
God Bless, Miss Sohos!
What the @%&$# is it with the Blog Goddesses and heart troubles already? Beauty equates to cardio problems? Gah, Rosetta will be Immortal, in Taffeta…
Armed Geek, go with the Moonshine. It is a North Carolina Tradition. And iffin ya need some….
This smelly POS is still hanging around?
We are waiting for the “Wakey Wakey” or “Pierced Belly” Buttons to appear, Andy…
Offered with out further comment…
I dun’t know how to do the buttons thing.
Hey Ms. Cari n! Off to Louisiana…
Thanks beasn. I did 30 minutes on one on cruise ship last week. Felt great. But my calves were really sore the next two days. I like them a lot better than a treadmill or a stationary bike.
Best is to rotate all three, PG. That’s kinda what P90X does. You should do the same with cardio.
Even rotating walking in.
My FIL got the “go fuck yourself” LOOK for saying to me at the restaurant last night, “You *still* eating?”
that right there is a FAIL.
Sohos – it could be anxiety. Let a doctor tell you.
I’m pretty sure Sohos is following a balanced diet, so I don’t think it could be that.
Morning, hosebangers.
Why is it everybody gets sick right at this time of year? I feel like 20 lbs of sphincter squeezins
New post up for your commenting pleasure.