Fuck depressing shit. Dedrofuck it with a rotten tree branch until a sapling sprouts out of your goatse. I never want to be around sad people. I want to be around fucking winners. Yeah, sometimes it feels as though life has you stuck in the bottom of a port a potty after a chili eating contest, but don’t ever fucking give in to the sadness. Tell it to get fucked, for you vow to defeat it with awesomeness.
And, my friends, this is awesomeness to absolute zero and back.
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Figs!
(Also, the video doesn’t exactly work.)
fixed, I think
GAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
http://tinyurl.com/28dnm87
The intent was admirable, but the execution was horrifying.
(Seriously, don’t click unless you hate your eyes.)
I’d hit it.
Re: Wiser’s story in the last poat.
Soon after I got to Hammond, IN, to be a recruiter, my sponsor at the station, SGT Nick, who was a native, took me to McTavern’s for drinks. As he was showing me around, he introduced me to a fat old guy, named Frankie. We spent a few minutes chatting with him. He and Nick obviously went way back and had a lot of history.
Later at the bar, Nick told me that Frankie ran the mob in East Chicago/Hammond.
I figured it was bullshit like Wiser was talking about/fuck with the new guy stuff.
Two days later, the local paper had the headline about Puerto Rican Frankie being indicted on several gazillion charges in federal court…
You’re known for having an intimate relationship with an inflatable sheep, so…
I figured it was bullshit like Wiser was talking about/fuck with the new guy stuff.
Two days later, the local paper had the headline about Puerto Rican Frankie being indicted on several gazillion charges in federal court…
…and then you found twenty dollars?
No, I found Nick floating face down in the Chicago river.
But I grabbed $20 out of his wallet.
True story: I used to find a twenty lying on the ground about once a year back in the mid to late 90s. Hasn’t happened since.
The Clinton-era economy really was awesome.
Robert De Niro probably died a little tonight.
Insomnia sucks.
Insomnia sucks.
If you give it 20 dollars.
Hahahahahahahaa, true, HM!
Reminds me of when Redstate Update was talking about Spitzer getting caught. Hang on…
NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKWUCNk4ewU
Some music for my strange mood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkS5H3Of4-E
http://tinyurl.com/3nlb68
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65AJJJPXsvs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkFtl50kqYE
Hitting the coffee pretty hard this AM, roamy?
Have a text message from 3:20 AM informing me that a really good friend of our family died overnight. 51 years old. Heart attack.
Shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCNXAwl4bd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K36JfrXknVQ
HM, haven’t hit the coffee yet. I was thinking I might be able to get another hour of sleep. Heh.
Sorry about your friend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMQbzLrvwlE
Thanks. He was a great guy. Big sumbitch. Went 6’5″ and 250. He has a son a fair bit bigger that will probably end up as an NFL lineman. 6’7″, 340, quick, and smart. College sophomore now, and has Anthony Munoz as a part-time coach and friend.
Reminds me of when Redstate Update was talking about Spitzer getting caught. Hang on…
HAAHAHAHAHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
*sharts*
bbl
Mornin’ all.
Sorry to hear about your friend, HM.
mornin’ Sorry about your friend HM…
Kathy Griffin’s or is it Griffith? Anyway her ass is hideous
The fact that she carries it around on her shoulders doesn’t help, Sohos.
she is just gross…period
I need coffee but I am lazy
Never been too lazy to make coffee. The caffeine addiction overcomes the sloth every time.
I’m drinking yesterday’s leftover.
I’m trying to get there
Leftover coffee? Surely you jest.
Count usually makes the coffee but he is gone so its up to me…ugh forcing myself brb
Really sorry to hear about your friend, Herr. 51? That’s way too young.
Waste not, want not.
Andy, I don’t remember, do you live in CT?
HS, I meant the fact that you have leftover coffee. I am unfamiliar with this concept.
Mare, close. Massachusetts.
My dentist died at the same age, from what they call a lung attack. He was healthy and fit, no one saw it coming. Sympathies, HM.
ok turned on heater, fed the dogs and made the coffee.
Whata they trying to do, sell more band-aids to Africans?
By the way the beatles suck and John Lennon was the biggest arasehole of the bunch.
Take that from a 68-year old who had to grow up with those twits!
I’ve never heard a Beatles song and been happy about it.
I think “Imagine” is the worst song on the planet…a socialists wet dream
Holy shit, who is this Toejam?
More like a socialist Lemon Party.
Hotspur, why don’t you give toejam the traditional warm, Hostage greeting?
so Mare you are in Texas? Are you staying with friends? What are your plans?
Toejam, how many bullwhips do you have shoved up your ass?
Gotcha, Andy, now I remember thinking, “Andy deserves a medal for trying to elect an excellent candidate, with a bright future who is also a conservative in a state that doesn’t deserve him but deperately needs him.”
Hotspur, that is why you are the head of the Hostage welcome wagon.
Well Done!
it’s wicked hard where he is
Sohos, we are building a house. It will be done within the next month. We are staying in Texas (although my husband is considering dumping the company he consults for, which means anything could happen). We are in the Dallas area.
Oh, come on now. There are some good Beatles songs.
This may be my favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6tV11acSRk
But I completely agree on “Imagine.”
A) It’s not really all that good a song to begin with.
2) Then there are the lyrics.
Thanks for the medal, mare. I’ll clear some space on the mantel right by the Nobel.
Ive now got a big, steaming mug of coffee
Excellent, Sohos. Order has been restored to the universe.
*gets up to make second pot*
I love this one…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0pfFkdC6oE
Next time I am going to Dallas I will let you know so that hopefully we can meet
A little something for the car-people around here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXW0bx_Ooq4
Sohos, how often do you get around these parts?
I hope toejam isn’t a woman.
No johnson rod? That ain’t gonna work.
Mrs. Andy plays this on the piano a lot. It was one of her dad’s favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI0Q8ytD44Y
Will, that’s all wrong. There’s no flux capacitor.
Well, when it all goes wrong, it’ll sound like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbNxugO-uf0
Usually a couple of times a year
Sorry to hear about your friend HM.
My daughter loves all things Beatles and has since she was 5. She was excited that she could finally get songs on her iphone
I assassinated a mailbox. I am not sure that it was evil, but it was most certainly shifty.
I’m surprised the Beatles/iTunes thing was such a big deal. All you had to do was buy “1″ on CD and rip it to get about 90% of the Beatles songs you’d want on an iPod.
hmmmmm didnt have a clue about that
Do yall want to come over and help me clean and decorate? I will make a BIG pot of stew
A short explanation as to why I’m conservative in outlook:
Thirty years ago I’m driving and hear on the radio that Lennon has been shot dead. When i get home and tell my mom, Her response, “Good, he was a goddamned anarchist and got what he deserved.”
Yes, Sohos, sounds great. Plus we can have the football games on and drink later. But not much later.
I must away and clean. see yall later
Throckmorton 70
Aguilla 20
Head this way Mare should only take you 4 1/2 hours
MIL is VERY happy PG
http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2010/12/media-matters-obsession-with-fox-news.html
Pendejo, I would like to subscribe to your Mom’s newsletter.
The Frenchmen are a peculiar race.
They fight with their feet, and fuck with their face.
Good morning
Trying again…
Good morning.
That was for the 8,293 Frogs that have visited.
GAH!!!!!!
Does anyone know if Wiser taped a cucumber to his thigh last night?
No, but he probably put it someplace else.
Mare, you need a Christmas avatard.
Okay, Hotspur.
brb
I would have taped beer to my thigh.
PG’s mom + Mare = simpatico
Test, check, test, 1, 2, 5.
Britain likes tea. Tea comes in a sack. A sack holds my nuts together. Therefore, Britain holds my nuts together.
hahahahahah, Yes, Scott. And why do you mock my Spanish heritage?
test, test….
Scott, you need to Chrismas up your avatar.
Much mo betta.
Did you guys watch that, “AMERICA’S BEST IN AFGHANISTAN” video at Ace’s?
You should and watch to the very end.
“Much mo betta.”
HA! You have obviously been to Hawaii.
No, but I’ve been to Bora Bora.
Hostage meet up, 1968
L-R MCPO, Wiserbud, Mare, Rosetta
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i8NUfl7tW4
HAHAHAHA……that was great, Scott.
Dick, did you see the ending? I will tell you what it is if you can’t watch it.
Scott, laughing my ass off here.
That video makes me think we should have a “Hostage as Children” tab.
Dick, the clincher was a plane plowing through a World Trade Center building.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-9/402139/gmp-sized.gif
Wondering if it works….
Baby Mare and Rosetta deserve Oscars for their performance.
I am in tears and I can’t stop watching it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmOecBHVhLg
I think it’s important citizens see what soldiers do. It’s easy to forget when you’re Christmas shopping. Even if it’s the soldiers sitting around being bored which I’m sure happens a lot.
Also, I think the planes going into the World Trade Center should be shown on every channel every single day.
Ok, so apparently mom has Bell’s palsey on top of viral pink eye and a viral sinus infection (they probably triggered the palsey). Not a stroke as was first suspected.
However, if my aunt doesn’t make it to the hospital first, I’m going to own me some dumbass doctor ass. Mom’s got problems w/ percocet so the fuckers gave her ocycodone. Dur, that’s the active fucking ingredient in percocet.
Yikes, Tat, when did this happen? What’s the prognosis?
Wed before Tday was the start of the viral pink eye (which I didn’t even know existed). The sinus infection is just an offshoot of that. Basically her entire head is a giant virus.
Mare’s head is basically a giant watermelon.
Channel surfing looking for football I found where Rosetta is spending his time:
Big Fat Racks 3
and
Addicted to Boobs 6
(Although that last one could describe my relationship with the Hostages)
I’m glad your momma didn’t have a stroke, Tat.
Hopefully the doctor’s can get her well with a quickness.
Mare’s head is basically a giant watermelon.
What the hell are you talking about?
Mare, have you ever seen Edward Penishands VII: Citizen Penishands?
“Mare, have you ever seen Edward Penishands VII: Citizen Penishands?”
No, but it sounds riviting.
Edward Penishands XX: Mr. Penishands Goes to Washington
“Edward Penishands XX: Mr. Penishands Goes to Washington”
The Barney Frank Story
Hahahahahahaha.
Let’s go on a picnic today, Mare.
Edward Penishands IX: A Streetcar Named Penishands
I would like that. Let’s go here:
http://www.worldgolf.com/images/repository/hawaii/four-seasons-hualalai-resort-overview-1.jpeg
I guess only the exceptionally cool people are here now.
Right you are, mare. Right you are.
Now, back to Christmas Decorations II. Which is the exact opposite of Edward Penishands II.
Yeah, Andy’s pretty cool too.
I guess only the exceptionally cool people are here now.
Oh. Alright.
I guess I’ll come back later.
We really need to work out a signal…a coathanger on the doorknob, or something like that…
I wonder why there has never been a movie called Maggie Poonhands.
” I wonder why there has never been a movie called Maggie Poonhands”
Really? This is what you sit at your desk and think about? HAHAHAHAHAHA
I wonder who would make out with Barney Frank, man or woman.
We are simpatico…..HAHAHAHAHAHA
I wonder if Helen Thomas has children and how that could possibly have happened.
I wonder if Bill Clinton was into cigars with Hillary….OMG.
I wonder if Lindsey Graham will ever come out of the closet.
I wonder what Alan Grayson’s O face looks like…..how could his face get grosser?
I wonder why there has never been a movie called Maggie Poonhands.
Because her pimp keeps her too busy makin’ hisself some money for her to have time to sell the rights to her story.
Duh.
We are simpatico…..HAHAHAHAHAHA
Don’t make me tackle you.
I wonder what Alan Grayson’s O face looks like…..how could his face get grosser?
I don’t want to see him buggering a little boy bad enough to find out.
Video of Alan Grayson’s O face.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li8u3q9XRWw
Rosetta, your link is dead.
It’s dead, Jim.
Link fixt!!!
HAHAHAHAHAH…..The dialog was perfect.
Today’s maturity level = 4th grade
I’m pretty happy with that.
That was worth watching to the end.
In Japan, sea poon splooges on you!
I’m still laughing that Wiser’s wife asked (after he suggested something stupid) if he was haning out with his idiot friends again (Hostages)…..hahahahahahahahahahaha
That was worth watching to the end.
I agree. I almost stopped watching it because it’s so fucking gross but I’m glad I didn’t.
“Moron friends. Morons.
Idiots are liberals, dear.”
The ending makes it……
Looks like Mare has a new hair do.
http://tinyurl.com/mdb33m
Oh Jeez! I hurt like somebody beat the crap outta me with a 2 X 4 for about 12 hours!!
Wait, did Wiser end up having a great time at the party?
No Iggles on TV. I’m hoping to watch some game where Dallas, the Giants or the Deadskins get beat.
Why can’t the Giants and the Redskins both lose?? This is why I miss tied games.
Rosetta, did you see Scott’s video up thread?
Rosetta, did you see Scott’s video up thread?
Yes. Have you seen this?
http://tinyurl.com/2b4cm2u
HAHAHAHAHA……I liked that. Will we ever be adults?
I got out of bed for this shit?
You people suck! I’m outta here!
http://tinyurl.com/2c2d63d
HAHAHA Brad, perfect Christmas avatar for you!
HAHAHAHAHA……I liked that. Will we ever be adults?
NEVER!!!
http://tinyurl.com/3963qhj
MCPO, what’s for lunch?
Baby Monkey!
Thanks, Lips. I had Beasn make it for me.
http://tinyurl.com/2c7gl7z
I’ve eaten so much food this weekend.
Eggs benedict this morning. OMG. I make ‘em good.
Rosie – (1) glass of iced water and (2) chicken patties with hot sauce. I’m at that point in Stage I where I fucking hate life too.
Plus, it too cold and windy to play golf. . .
http://tinyurl.com/3ywmano
Great picture, MCPO!!
Plus, it too cold and windy to play golf. . .
http://tinyurl.com/3ywmano
Hahahahahaha.
Riding on a pig, chubby Asian kid.
Miller Genuine Draft beer, neither genuine, nor draft, and barely even beer.
Discuss.
http://tinyurl.com/2vbc8tm
I’m gonna have to go on a liquid diet for the next few day to recover from all I’ve eaten.
Last night – I had seared Ahi tuna. OMG. I just ate the last few bits.
Seared tuna is good for you. No guilt there.
Seared Ahi tuna?
http://tinyurl.com/2vbc8tm
OMG!!!!!! TV Hat!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SJsk1L2RUg&feature=player_embedded#!
Yea, but that was about the only good thing for me I ate in the last 24 hours.
That egg benedict … OMG. A sauce made out of egg yokes and butter just CAN’T be good for you.
I mean, I’m surprised I didn’t have a heart attack WHILE i ate it.
“A sauce made out of egg yokes and butter just CAN’T be good for you.”
But what if it is?????
TV HAT is under $20.
Just sayin. *cough secretsanta cough*
http://tinyurl.com/2vbc8tm
I want a TV Hat also. It just makes sense.
I want a baby monkey in a TV hat.
TV Hat should be sold with the steering wheel desk.
surprise rocket powered butseks
http://tinyurl.com/24y5pyd
Seared Ahi tuna?
http://tinyurl.com/2vbc8tm
Hahahahahahahahaha.
But what if it is?????
Unpossible Mare.
Gawd! The Redskins look horrible!
Be glad you don’t have my selection, Chief…Browns/Miami Bengals/Saints
OMG!!!!!! TV Hat!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SJsk1L2RUg&feature=player_embedded#!
I like the idea of the guy in bed with his wife that pulls down the TV Hat. He won’t even know when I sneak in and have sex with his wife.
Thank you, TV Hat!
Pups – I’m gonna wait one more series. If it doesn’t improve, I’ll switch over to watch J’ville/Titans.
J’ville/Titans?
http://tinyurl.com/2vbc8tm
Rosetta, the guy with the TV hat is dorking his wife, but seeing the Victoria’s Secret supermodels.
He’s not as dumb as you think.
HEY Xbrad –
My sister gave me a t-shirt (for my b-day) that reads:
“… and then Buffy staked Edward.
THE END”
LOL.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Your sister rawks, Car in!
Is her ass as great as yours?
Let’s see…I have enough bread for one more sammich, enough meat for one more sammich, and enough cheese for 30 more sammiches.
Something here is either very wrong or very, very right.
You better be making it for Will.
Peelio – You didn’t get a bread maker for a wedding pressie?
I love a happy ending….
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/and_then_buffy_staked_edward_the_end.php
Do you suppose those guys will be shocked when they each give birth to a litter of TV hats in 9 months
*does dance*
I killed the thread! I killed the thread! I killed the thread!!!
I’m only mostly dead, you fuckstick~!
I love Sunday threads. It’s like watching a dying rat.
http://imabeee.ytmnd.com/
As a public service for your shopping pleasure and because this morbid poat is rotting on the vine, a splendid new afternoon poat has left the dock.