The More You Know

Here at the Hostages, we’re all about getting your learning on.  So pay attention.  There will be a test later. First, great moments in American History: And a word from our sponsor: Mixology with a hot chick:  And a little help for the after-party: You’re welcome.

Today Is What Day?

It’s a holiday week of drunken revelry and celebration.  Because of that fact I forgot that today was Friday so the chances of you getting a BBF post are about 2%. I watch MSNBC because it amuses me.  It’s like watching a little kid eat paste.  The fact that smelly hippies, commies, retards and douche-bags [...]

Go Back, Jack, Do It Again

For all the profanity, cursing, and bluster that goes on around this place, one of the things that makes it a home on the intartubbies (or a wretched hive of scum and villany, take your pick) is that fact that we can be remarkably decent to each other at times.  I’d call it “like family” [...]

A tribute to all our lovely Hostagettes

Theme song A girl has to get home, after all Mess with drunk Hostagettes at your own peril WTF was that noise?

It’s true. You suck.

Let me see if I got this right. I can type in the words, ‘fuck, cumstain, and retarded faggot’, but I can’t call Nancy Pelosi a ‘scrunt’. Freaks. I love other folks morals and standards. Why? Because I don’t have enough confusion in my own life. Did ya ever wonder what really happens when Michael [...]

We Have Met The Enemy, And It Is Us

“Democracy is based upon the conviction that man has the moral and intellectual capacity, as well as the inalienable right, to govern himself with reason and justice.” – Harry S. Truman  “I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened [...]

PHONING IT IN

Seriously, when you’re awesome like me and have an iPhone, you can blog from a bar. *hic   IMPORTANT UPDATE(MCPO Airdale) Hotspur at the bar:  

DIY HHD

Ok, so it’s 9:30 and I dun’t see any HHD on the horizon. Here’s the deal. I’ll add one picture and then you other hosefockers female hostages add another and another until it’s raining men. Hallelujah. This could add up to be teh BEST HHD DAY EVA! Here’s my contribution: That there is the most [...]

Global Warming Froze My Palm Tree

Precisely zero people give a shit about Global Warming anymore, which explains how this sentence, “The not-so-obvious short answer is that the overall warming of the atmosphere is actually creating cold-weather extremes,” was able to be written, reviewed by an editor, and deemed worthy of publication. The article, whose thesis plumbs the depths of Newspeak [...]

Best Idea Ever

I just thought of this.  It won’t ever happen but let’s pretend, m’kay? The federal and state governments are going broke as a motherfucker because government is a stupid whore.  What about this idea… (1) The Fortune 500 corporations together form another corporation called Help The Poor, Inc. (2) The CEOs and CFOs of those [...]