Just when you think it can’t get any worse …

And how much do you want to bet that Congress let’s all the Bush tax cuts expire after the Dems get their asses handed to them on a platter in November? On the other hand, it they do extend the Bush tax cuts, how much you want to bet they’ll tout the extension as “Obama’s huge tax cuts for the middle class?”

188 Comments

  1. If a POS like me is getting here first, then the rest of you hosers are worthless and weak.

  2. PG, come mow and fertilize my lawn so I can keep screwing off this morning, okay?

  3. Pig update below hose-asses.

    Brought up……..To the point, I’m too busy working, taking care of the family, nursing pigs, to do my art. I was born conservative, was always artsy, but the practical nature of being a conservative has put that stuff on hold. We pay our bills.

  4. clint, pg is going to work for me instead so that I can take a nap. My nap is more important than silly grass.

    *mumbles, what is it with men and their lawns*

  5. From the last thread:

    First off, baby, how you doin?

    Attitude is good, body is fair to partly cloudy. GF sold our king size bed this weekend. I have another queen set in storage that I brought over to the house. I got everything into the room and set up except for the box springs, which don’t fit through the stairway or through an upstairs window. I actually have to break down and purchase a queen-size split box spring (there goes the profit on the bed sale). So, I slept last night on the sofa, and my back is killing. I spent the night before in the guest bed, but my back hurt from that, too.

    I was born conservative, was always artsy, but the practical nature of being a conservative has put that stuff on hold.

    I knew conservative artists exist. We need to mount a movement that extols the virtues of capitalism and mocks the liberal agenda!

  6. “*mumbles, what is it with men and their lawns*

    Well, as our brides age and other “options” we’re interested in dry up, we must find our substitutes. Just sayin’

  7. Don’t think so clint. It all starts with the purchase of your first home.

  8. [hangs head in shame]

  9. Okay, how ’bout this then, beasn? The sound of the lawnmower drowns out other unwanted sounds???

  10. Sorry to hear your back troubles jazz. Get up and do some stretches, then have the gf massage the snot out of ya.

  11. Q, Jazz. Why did you GF sell the bed?

  12. SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTHS!

  13. “Do you actually listen to that shit, Uni?”

    It was a joke Clint, done by a comedian who was making fun of rap.

  14. Uni … Oh.

  15. Who you yellin’ at beasn?

  16. Not gonna fly clint.

    Ya’ll just have a weird love for your castly grounds.

    Heh. Before having to get up with pig duty, the husband and kids did their morning routine in silence. Now, I get a couple of gimlet eyes as I bubble down the stairs and force them into moving their lips. And I’m not really a super chatty person. They’re just morning crabasses.

  17. castly = castle

  18. …….Who you yellin’ at beasn?…….

    TOTAL!!

  19. I’m a morning person, too, beans. Both my girls? Not so much.

    BBL … really do have to get some work done now.

    Be careful, little hostages and hostagettes.

  20. Okay, time to feed da pig, then work.

    Later gaters.

    CLINT, your lawn is waiting………..

  21. Dammit. If you want to see what I was up to over the weekend, you can go back to the end of the last poat. I’m not fighting with copy-paste from a mobile browser.

  22. My guess is that you don’t see many openly conservative artists because

    A) Emotion is the basis for art and liberalism
    B) It would be hard to succeed being in the minority. Even though liberalism and the art world proclaim to be open minded, neither really are.

  23. Q, Jazz. Why did you GF sell the bed?

    It was a Sleep Number piece of CRAP. I’ve been bugging her to get rid of it for almost two years. It was like sleeping on a pool mattress. She’s procrastinated, though, and now I just wish she’d have told me she was selling it/had it sold more than two hours before the buyer came to pick it up. I had no time to arrange to move in the stored furniture.

  24. Well, as our brides age and other “options” we’re interested in dry up, we must find our substitutes. Just sayin’

    I call mine “righty” and “lefty”. And my lawn is average at best.

  25. I need a nap

  26. Nifty, Will. Looks cool!

  27. I need a nap

    I’m going to take one at home on lunch.

  28. And my lawn is average at best.

    MOM, PG’S TALKING ABOUT HIS MANSCAPING AGAIN!!!!

  29. I was thinking the same thing Jazz but if I laid down I dont think I would get back up

  30. Just when we were talking about art being a liberal thing, Will shows up with hundreds of counterpoints.

  31. Good Monday morning dorks! I use the term “good” very loosley. So I had nightmares about Scottw’s pic lastnight.

    SO HO!!!!!! How are you doll face?

  32. Hi sweet April! I am exhausted. We went to a wedding in Dallas over the weekend, then met Counts’ family at Hooters in Arlington then had to drive home. I didn’t get home until 10:30 last night. 6 am came really fast this morning.

  33. My lawn is real and it’s fabulous!

  34. Sounds like a fun weekend SoHO. You and Count going to the meetup this weekend? How come I haven’t seen any pics of the last one?

  35. Raining like a suminagun here. Bed stripped, sheets washed, bed re-made. Second load of laundry in the washing machine and the downstairs has been titified.

    Almost time to make lunch.

  36. We aren’t going to make the meet up this weekend. We have been out of town the last two weekends in a row and I am really just too exhausted.

  37. and the downstairs has been titified.

    It’s been what?

  38. then met Counts’ family at Hooters

    You know, I’ve never been to a Hooters. I can practically see one out my window right now, too. I don’t go in for chain restaurant food, and that really can’t be overcome even by cuteness in tight clothing.

    /Me in a chain restaurant is one of the seven signs of the Apocolypse. REFUSE.

  39. Yeah, finding an O supporter at a classic car show is a definite needle-haystack situation.

  40. 3CPO, will you be my wife?

  41. It’s been what?

    He sprayed his hairy moobs with Endust and dusted the house with his chest-silk.

  42. AD – http://tinyurl.com/yg2wwos

    It’s Navy slang

  43. LOL Jazz, I’d even be happy if my husband would even do that!

  44. April – Sure. . . . does the job come with, “benefits”?

  45. LOL Jazz, I’d even be happy if my husband would even do that!

    The dust bunnies seem to procreate faster and are all gray at Casa MC3PO.

  46. I have a question. Our fireplace has a slate surround. It is rather dull. I’ve cleaned it with hot water and white vinegar, but no luster. I read that using a tack rag with vegetable oil will restore the sheen to slate. Has anyone done this?

  47. Of course 3CPO. You also get to wash my car.

  48. Our fireplace has a slate surround. It is rather dull. I’ve cleaned it with hot water and white vinegar, but no luster. I read that using a tack rag with vegetable oil will restore the sheen to slate.

    Is it plugged in? Try plugging it in first.

  49. The only Hooters I ever went to was in Taipei, Taiwan.

    It was ok.

  50. Hotbride is not allowed to clean.

    All of the floors in our house are Brazilian cherry – not a square inch of carpet. She does not get the concept of lifting the furniture when she wants to move it, consequently every fucking time she does it she leaves scratches on the floor.

    I’ve told her about this for over eight years, and she still doesn’t get it.

    She is also unfamiliar with the concept of making sure a white doesn’t accidentally get mixed up with the coloreds, therefore she is not allowed to use the washer.

  51. You also get to wash my car.

    HAHAHAHA! Not quite the benefit I was thinking about, dear.

  52. Chief, use some linseed oil. Let it soak in for a bit, then buff it off.

  53. I read that using a tack rag with vegetable oil will restore the sheen to slate. Has anyone done this?
    ——————-
    I put a sealer on my slate lanai a few years back. It kept some shine, but not what I was hoping for. Please feel free to ask me about other useless household tips.

  54. I’ve told her about this for over eight years, and she still doesn’t get it.

    Yeah, I’d say she has you well trained.

  55. I’ll try the linseed oil. Thanks.

  56. There are different sheens for stone sealers. I avoid them except on floors because they look less natural.

  57. She does not get the concept of lifting the furniture when she wants to move it,

    Ya know, they make these little pads that you can stick on the legs of your furniture that will allow you to slide things without scratching the floor. They have been around for a lot longer than 8 years.

    She is also unfamiliar with the concept of making sure a white doesn’t accidentally get mixed up with the coloreds,

    maybe your wife is not as much of a racist as you?

  58. Hahaha

    Wiserbud is as good as Mamaxbrad at picking the hospital fruit.

  59. I need to start Effing up more around the house I think!!

    Hey Wiser! How is you????

  60. You realize HS, that she may do these things just so you do the chores?

  61. Hey Wiser! How is you????

    Why, just fine, lovely lady. Nice to see your pretty little avatard gracing our little coner of the internet again.

    Life is good with you, I hope?

  62. PG, come mow and fertilize my lawn

    I’m not a real Mexican. I just play one on tittyweb jenkins.

  63. You realize HS, that she may do these things just so you do the chores?

    If it were anyone else I would really wonder. But she really doesn’t have a devious bone in her body. She’s just oblivious to certain things.

    Like if she’s parking her car she will take any space available without regard for whether she’s apt to get a door ding. I choose carefully and never get them. Her car – not so good.

  64. beasn, Jazz, count me as another conservative creative (freelance writer/editor).

    It’s interesting–neighbors/friends that I don’t know through work always assume I’m a lib. But over time, I’ve learned that there are a lot more of us out there than I’d assumed. Honestly, I don’t know how the hell you could be in business for yourself and NOT be conservative, but then again, half the population are fuckin retards.

  65. So who all’s coming to DFW for the meet-up this weekend? I need to know how gussied up I need to get.

    On second thought, ya’ll are getting what everyone else gets – I’ll wake up, toss on some clothes, run a brush through my hair, and show up. No sense pretending to be somebody I’m not.

    No wonder my kids are embarassed to be seen with me…….

  66. . . . half the population are fuckin retards.

    Optimistic estimate.

  67. I am not very creative, but I cry a lot.

  68. Yeah, I know, I was feeling generous, MCPO. Like two-thirds, eh?

  69. Why, just fine, lovely lady. Nice to see your pretty little avatard gracing our little coner of the internet again.

    WHO IS THIS MAN?

  70. Don’t get dressed up on my account, Tiff.

  71. WHO IS THIS MAN?

    I thought you left…..

  72. My oldest is getting boobie buds.

    I was just mentioning last week how neither of my daughter’s had any “signs” of maturity.’

    Guess that’ll teach me to open my piehole.

  73. Car in – Do you use fabric softener on your thongs or just a dryer sheet?

  74. I thought you left…..

    It didn’t take.
    Better luck next time, jackhole.

  75. You gotta hang those things dry if you want them to last, chief.

  76. Honest-to-god. I’m googling training bra.

    You’d think I wasn’t prepared for this.

  77. If I were a single man, and presented with the opportunity, I would fuck Katy Perry.

  78. A training bra is also called a bralet.

    I did not know that.

  79. MCPO now is the time to seed. It gives the grass 2 seasons to develop the root system needed to survive next summer.

  80. Yep. Fall is the BEST time. That’s why i’m gonna go out and spread it.

    You water it enough and it will be lush before winter.

  81. Anyone know what the fuck the new small business jobs act does?

    I know banks aren’t loaning out shit, and I’m sure they won’t be tomrrow either.

    Who’s getting bailed out this time?

    FUCK I HATE OBAMA.

    (I’m signing over my inheritance to keep our business afloat today)

  82. Hotspur she sounds devious to me. Laura used to leave money in her dirty jeans on purpose. I did not know this, all I knew was that every time I did laundry I would find $20.

  83. Scott/Carin – I KNOW! But Herself and the frigging condo association are not only clueless, they aren’t even aware that a crime has been committed!

  84. I’m looking though the provisions here

    Capital gains exclusion – for STOCK – no

    Business credit changes – no

    Built-in gains tax- no

    Section 179 expensing: doesn’t do shit

    Bonus depreciation – I don’t think so.

    Start-up deduction – The bill would increase, for 2010, the deduction for start-up expenditures to $10,000, from $5,000, and raises the cap on expenditures that triggers a phase-out of the deduction to $60,000, from $50,000. _ Big shit _

    Listed tax shelter disclosure penalty – nope

    Deductions for health insurance – Wait, didn’t just Obamacare undo things that did similar stuff? So, thanks for nothing.

    SBA loans – they’re not doing loans. You’ve got to have been in business for two years, to start anyway. That’s what the bankers told my husband last week.

  85. Talk of training bras and budding intermixed with talk of when to “sow seeds” could get you folks in trouble….. :-)

  86. Hahahaha

    Money laundering.

  87. Car in,
    At least you still have a business. I lost mine in a matter of six months. With Obamacare it felt like my industry shifted overnight. Like a rug being pulled out from under you, then SLAM, you are on your back.

    I feel lucky to have landed on my feet.

  88. Car in, look at the bright side: You get the pleasure of sending out a fuckload more 1099s this year.

  89. How Krugman passed elementary economics, let alone win a Nobel for it, is beyond my understanding. Every time I read his latest pronouncement, I conclude, again, what a functioning idiot he is.

  90. Uni, we’re fighting and fighting.

    these fuckstains in government can bite me.

  91. That 1099 thing is going to be a boon to large businesses and screw little ones.

    Why should I buy my store supplies and resale items from several different local small suppliers the way I have been?

    Might as well get everything from ULINE and just do one 1099 form instead of five.

  92. Did I mention I am sleepy?

  93. Everything these asshats do have horrible unintended consequences. They don’t give a shit.

  94. SoHoS – Wanna take a nap with me? It’s a rainy day here and my chores are all done.

  95. I went home and took a 20-minute siesta, sohita. I feel very much better. It’s amazing what 20 minutes can do.

  96. Oh, no, the consequences of that asinine 1099 requirement aren’t unintended. Big business were just fine with that requirement- they are well aware that displacing small innovative businesses can garner them more market share.

    And the politicians know that the 1099 infrastructure can quickly be converted to a VAT structure.

  97. Anybody else hear Clinton’s comments regarding O’Donnell and McMahon this weekend?

    It’s so great when a serial adulterer, sexual predator, disbarred lawyer and convicted liar can get up on a stage and, with the sense of honor and character one would expect from a former President of the United States, openly and childishly mocks people like Linda and Christine.

    You stay classy, Bill.

  98. And for the love of God, will someone explain to my mother that when I say it is easier for me to do chores without her help, what I really mean is that it is easier for me to do chores without her help.

    Seriously, I can change the sheets on your bed faster if you get the fuck out of the room. All that time you spent looking for the pillowcases? That’s because before I started to change the sheets, I laid out everything right where the fuck I wanted it so I’d have it to hand when I needed it.

    And as much as I hate doing chores in the first place (that’s why we call them “chores” and not “fun and games!), it is a lot easier to do them without your annoying voice asking irrelevant questions the whole damn time.

    **/rant off*

  99. Gawd, that Katy Perry song at Ace’s is AWFUL. I’d call her a waste of skin if her goods weren’t so damn fine, and I’m still inclined….. Ace skipped the observation that everyone in the band, the backup singers, and the dancers are all dressed in HS attire. That song isn’t aimed at adults in any way. I don’t know whether she’s a whore, but she’s a fucking panderer, for sure.

  100. Anybody else hear Clinton’s comments regarding O’Donnell and McMahon this weekend?

    Clinton is to Satan what John the Baptist was to Jesus. Fuck Bill Clinton. And I don’t listen to damn thing that fucking prevaricator says.

  101. but she’s a fucking panderer, for sure.

    Well that’s good, ‘cuz they’re an endangered species.

  102. And as much as I hate doing chores in the first place (that’s why we call them “chores” and not “fun and games!), it is a lot easier to do them without your annoying voice when you’re asking irrelevant questions the whole damn time after a hip check from the bottom of the stairs.

    FTFY, xbrad. I know from experience.

  103. I’m actually a fan of catchy, crappy pop. I mean, I really like to listen to mindless fluff.

    And Katy is cute enough. But I made the mistake of listening to a live performance of hers once.

    Terrible voice. Horrid. Worst singing I’ve ever heard, including me singing in the car or shower. She’s the obvious beneficiary of autotuning.

    At least Lady GaGa has fair singing voice.

  104. I’m actually a fan of catchy, crappy pop. I mean, I really like to listen to mindless fluff.

    Show of hands, anyone here who is stunned by this bit of knowledge….

    Anyone?

    Anyone?

  105. I’m actually a fan of catchy, crappy pop. I mean, I really like to listen to mindless fluff.

    From the guy who’s hooked on Gilmore Girls? NO WAY! ;-)

  106. Irony may not be dead, but the owner of Segway is:

    http://tinyurl.com/2vuhwrm

  107. I actually gave up on Gilmore Girls.

    But you gotta admit Lauren Graham is hawt.

    http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/load-heat-54/

  108. At least Lady GaGa has fair singing voice.

    And a nose that shames this guy:

  109. Xbrad she is now on that new show ‘Parenthood” it is a great show.

  110. Sohos, yeah, I keep meaning to watch Parenthood.
    Between her and Sopia Vergara (who’s Load HEAT entry will be up in a couple hours) I can’t believe I haven’t started watching that show.

  111. Jazz, as a proboscially gifted individual, I’m not gonna complain about LGG’s schnozz.

  112. But you gotta admit Lauren Graham is hawt.

    Yeah, I remember when she got a part on Newsradio. My interest in that show increased dramatically.

    But I still couldn’t force myself to watch a single episode of the Gilmore Girls.

  113. Newsradio?

    Maura Tierney.

  114. I can’t believe I haven’t started watching that show.

    Still working through your Sex in the City dvds, huh?

  115. Excuse my old fartedness, but exactly who in the hell is Katy Perry and is there some reason rational people should care about her?

  116. At least Lady GaGa has fair singing voice.

    And a nose that shames this guy:

    *glares at Jazz*

    *ahem*

    YOU KNOW WHAT, Jazz…there are big nose people in the world, and there are small nose people in the world…and it was my fervent hope that here, on this crapblog, we could all meet together in a place of peace and harmony and put our differences aside.

    But no. Apparently I’m going to have to take out my huge handkerchief and honk all you littlenose bastards right out of existence.

    So be it.
    Fine.

    *drags tarp-sized hankie out of truck bed*

  117. Newsradio?

    Maura Tierney.

    Lauren Graham joined the cast in the later years.

  118. Excuse my old fartedness, but exactly who in the hell is Katy Perry and is there some reason rational people should care about her?

    A. Pop music whore
    B. No.

  119. 1. I know Lauren joined the cast. I just really liked Maura on it. And for the first few years she was on ER. Right until Sally Field showed up as her mom.

    2. I have never seen an episode of Sex in the City. Nor will I ever.

  120. Jazz, as a proboscially gifted individual, I’m not gonna complain about LGG’s schnozz.

    YOU KNOW WHAT, Jazz…there are big nose people in the world, and there are small nose people in the world…and it was my fervent hope that here, on this crapblog, we could all meet together in a place of peace and harmony and put our differences aside.

    There are big noses and there are birth defects, a la Streisand. I am a card-carrying big nose. Lady Gaga is Streisand-esqe with a birth defect-like honker. If that hits close to home, cover your warty hairlip and your mole-y hump and hush up..

  121. and honk all you littlenose bastards right out of existence

    That should be my next bumpersticker…. Talk about making people go “WTF?”.

  122. 2. I have never seen an episode of Sex in the City. Nor will I ever.

    There’s an awful lot of estrogen in that comment!

  123. Just as I expected, Jazz!

    *Moons Katy Perry and flashes THE finger at mainstream media and Hollywood liberals.*

  124. I was having feisty fun here and now my coworker is turning into frustration. Dammit.

  125. There’s an awful lot of estrogen in that comment!

    I’ve seen a pic of Wiserbride. I kinda have to take shit from him.

    You? You’re the most whipped person here. Even DinT comes closer to ruling his own roost.

  126. My 7-year old daughter caught a brief segment on Sunday AM news about Katey Perry. They play a clip of the “I kissed a Girl” song. Of course, now my lovely little princess is singing “I kissed a girl, and I liked it” while practicing her gymnastic handstands and flips all over the house.

    I blame my wife.

    And the God that cursed me with an adorable blond-haired blue-eyed daughter.

    *buys more guns

  127. Yea, I commented about how horried Katy Perry’s voice is over at Ace. sucks. No power. And, has that “I’ve-been-taking-voice-lessons-for-years” sound to it.

    bleh. She’s even meh looking.

    And, I hate most every bit of pop out there.

  128. Rich, you need to get your daughter listening to some good music.

    Like Metallica

  129. Ok. I need to figure out when and where I’m going to run today …

    Need to start driving children around at 6 …..

    Humn.

    Where do I want to run today?

    And, I’ve got 80+ push-ups with my name on em.

    ugh.

  130. CRAP. I cat just sat on my lap.

    NOW what do I do?

  131. Rich, get her hooked on AC/DC back in the Bon Scott days.

  132. “Like Metallica”

    Yes, when I am not forced to listen to Radio Disney, I make sure I have my radio tuned to this:
    http://www.krxq.net/

    *makes devil horns

  133. My respect for Ace just went up a thousand fold. I appreciate that he articulated what lots of parents (and people in general) were thinking. Pedal your crap to an older, less easily influenced audience you stupid whore.

    You know she’s mental by the idiot she’s engaged to. He’s ugly, has a hideous body and speaks out about stuff he doesn’t have a clue about. Yeah, a real catch. If I had to wake up to him every morning I’d off myself.

  134. Who ran PJ off? She just posted on FaceHole but I haven’t seen her here in days and days.

  135. You CANNOT disturb that poor cat.

  136. Have you guys noticed all media is pushing the girl on girl stuff?

    SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTHS!!

  137. You? You’re the most whipped person here.

    HAHAHAHAH! Funny. Were that were the truth.

  138. Xbrad, doesn’t understand your relationship with your girlfriend, Jazz.

  139. At all.

  140. H/S, I just got off the phone with PJ. She’s too poor for internets. And she sounded astonished when I mentioned that McDonalds and Starbucks have free wifi.

    She’s fine, but not able to hang out on the interwebs.

  141. Who ran PJ off? She just posted on FaceHole but I haven’t seen her here in days and days.

    Who do you think? Who runs off everyone here.

    ‘cept me. He’s just not powerful enough to do THAT. Nope, you guys will just have to sneak away and form H3 to shake me loose.

  142. Mare, come get this cat off my lap so I can go running.

  143. it’s weird ’cause he doesn’t normally do this during the day.

    I think he’s slowing down/getting old.

  144. **pssst**

    Car in, we’re actually up to about H3.14

  145. No one tells me anything.

  146. Metallica??? Start her on Rammstein!

  147. Honestly Carin, I was thinking, “shoot, I wish I was there to take Carin’s cool cat and kick her ass out the door to go running and make me feel badly about myself.”

    Or something like that.

  148. Mare, go pet Car in’s pussy..

  149. I really do miss PJM.

    Is her husband still working?

    What’s going on that she can no longer get the interwebs?

  150. Yeah, I scooped that fruit right of the fucking ground.

    What you gonna do about it?

  151. “Nope, you guys will just have to sneak away and form H3 to shake me loose.”

    Dammit, who let the cat out of the bag?

  152. Jazz, would you kick xbrad in the crotch for me? Thanks in advance.

  153. Car in,
    Kathy Perry has a body made for sex.

    I couldn’t care less about her voice.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So93Iny2HWI This chick has a really nice voice, and this is a great song and video to brighten any day.

  154. Mare, I asked if she needed another money bomb. She said no. Things are tight, not desperate.

    She said PJD might be starting another line of work soon, but I’ll leave the details for her to divulge.

  155. xbrad, is he still working?

  156. Honestly Carin, I was thinking, “shoot, I wish I was there to take Carin’s cool cat and kick her ass out the door to go running and make me feel badly about myself.”

    It’s the thought that counts.

    Or something like that.

    gives Mare the evil eye.

  157. Are we still talking about Katy “Look at my tits” Perry?

  158. “She said PJD might be starting another line of work soon, but I’ll leave the details for her to divulge.”

    Manwhoring is a tough business, just sayin.

  159. Car in,
    Kathy Perry has a body made for sex.
    I couldn’t care less about her voice.
    ****

    You know, honestly, for all the singing about sex, she comes across kinda cold to me.

  160. Katy can’t be all that interested in sex if she’s marrying Russel Brand.

  161. “Katy can’t be all that interested in sex if she’s marrying Russel Brand.”

    Amen. I want a man not a girly boy.

  162. “I want a man not a girly boy.”

    How YOU doin’?

  163. hahahahahahaha……this place is funny.

    Hey, you know that other attention whore called Kesha or something equally stupid? The lyrics of her song remind me of this place:

    There’s a place downtown,
    Where the freaks all come around.
    It’s a hole in the wall.
    It’s a dirty free for all.

    When the dark
    Of the night comes around.
    That’s the time,
    That the animal comes alive.
    Looking for
    Something wild.

    And now we lookin’ like pimps
    In my gold Trans-Am.
    Got a water bottle full of whiskey
    In my handbag.
    Got my drunk text on
    I’ll regret it in the mornin’
    But tonight
    I don’t give a
    I don’t give a
    I don’t give a

    There’s a place downtown,
    Where the freaks all come around.
    It’s a hole in the wall.
    It’s a dirty free for all.

  164. There is a bar in Portland that offers a 7:00 AM early bird special on drinks.

  165. Actual Live Footage from the Pendejo Grande house last Saturday night: Act 1

    Mrs. Pendejo is watching SNL for reasons unknown to civilized man. Mr. Pendejo hears someone singing pitifully and assumes it’s an American Idol reject episode.

    Mr. Pendejo: “Who’s this whore?”

    Mrs. Pendejo: “Her name is Katy Perry.”

    Mr. Pendejo realising that the setting is all wrong for AI reject show: “What is this shit?”

    Mrs. Pendejo: “Saturday Night LIve, she’s the muscical guest.”

    Mr. Pendejo: “She sings for a living? She fucking horrid. What makes her famous?”

    Mrs. Pendejo: “She found someone who writes catchy little tunes to write catchy little tunes for her.”

    Mr. Pendejo: “Is this tune catchy?”

    Mrs. Pendejo: “Not really.”

    Mr. Pendejo: “She has great tits.”

    ~fin~

  166. Uni, you’re set!!

  167. All right, I give.

    ****Looks up Katy Perry

  168. I had a great rack, why wasn’t I famous?

  169. I can help solve that mystery. Please send ‘rack’ pictures to me so I can better assess the situation.

  170. I had a great rack, why wasn’t I famous?

    1) Had?

    2) Did you show them off frequently?

  171. I had a great rack, why wasn’t I famous?

    Somebody fucked up and gave out the password to the yearbook the other night. I went and looked at all the pics and mare I gotta say just one thing ……..you were way out of my league.

  172. I had a great rack, why wasn’t I famous?

    You’ll need a 2nd opinion, MJ is a n00b.

  173. Katy is cute, but not nearly as cute as she and the press seem to think she is:

    http://tinyurl.com/2g6ub3t

  174. There would be several labels I’d use for that pic, xbrad, but cute is not one of them.

    Sluttly and/or fashion-impaired come to mind.

  175. I would so love to do her between the chest pillows.

  176. *Raises hand to assist MJ in the Mare bewbies examination task.*

  177. PD, you’re sweet. That high school picture was ridiculousness personified. WTF, poses like that in a wicker chair? The assface photographer made me do that and I was dumb enough to comply.

    I sincerely used it for the Hostage yearbook because it was so stupid and funny. I’m not even wearing make-up. Must have been after track practice.

    There are some real looker Hostage women in the Yearbook.

  178. Oh, I tend to think slutty is pretty cute.

    And there’s a ton of “cutesy” pics of her out there. I just like the tight short.

    **schwing!!**

  179. She’s fine, but not able to hang out on the interwebs.

    That makes no sense. I just sold her an iPhone. She can get online with either 3G or Edge. Edge is slow, but it still works.

    Call her back and tell her not to be so blond.

  180. tend to think slutty is pretty cute

    that explains much of your tv show preferences, then.

  181. NEW POAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!111111111!!!

  182. Jazz, would you kick xbrad in the crotch for me? Thanks in advance.

    HOLY SHIT is that a great idea!!! Hell yes!

  183. In the interest of research and knowing what the hell I’m talking about, I went and watched three Katy Perry videos. If her real boyfriend had the body of the guy in her Teenage Dream video I could see where she’s willing to “go all the way tonight.”

    I have to admit, like xbrad, I like pop music. But seriously, if the lyrics said, “I’ve got to work at a crappy job,” instead of the “too young to have sex but keep pushing it crap,” I’d like it even more.

    How many of your kids have this on their ipods?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Kb8Pt0Olo

    This was a really popular song. This guy looks like a 14 year old douche.

  184. H/S, I have no conception how interwebbies work via phone.

    YOU call her and explain it to her.

  185. I just left her a message on FaceFreak.


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