Quit yer bitchin’. You own this mess.
And tell Lurch to shut the fuck up and go back to his yacht.
Not fair? Not fair? Fuck you, pal. Fuck your fairness with your fucking magic hat. Fuck you and your ilk for crying over the fact your solutions have only fucked things up more. And fuck you for still trying to blame others.
Seriously, Lurch, fucking grow up, man up, get the fuck off the stage and let those of us who have a fucking clue get back to saving this county.
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Remind me again. . . Who has enjoyed Congressional majorities since 2006?
“we just passed an extraordinary financial regulation bill and all anyone has been talking about is Sherrod.”
Yeah, strange, ain’t it? It’s almost as if there was some sort of concerted effort to keep the fin reg story out of the news by the mainstream media……
Kerry is the world’s biggest douchebag, having achieved that title when Ted Kennedy died.
There are not enough “fucks” in this poat. And no mention of warm chocolate chip cookies.
*sigh*
My “other” Senator.
Grew up in south city and now live in a county on the outskirts. Thereabouts.
Carried over from last post
So, what’s the buzz on East St. Louis? “They can’t afford to pay for city services” is what I’m hearing. Surber says per capita income is $11,000 a year. Ugh. I went to high school in Belleville, IL, and I used to go to ESL to photograph old buildings and such for my photography class. It wasn’t great 25 years ago, but it sounds like things have deteriorated dramatically.
I read an article by some black columnist – Charles Blow or somebody like that (I think the guy I’m thinking of is syndicated out of Florida) – who was admonishing blacks in the months up to Obama’s election, saying something to the effect of, “Look at the fiscal health of Detroit and . . . etc., as an example of unobstructed black, Democratic leadership. We have to do better if we want to be considered successful and garner respect.” It was very off-putting in the “us versus them” mentality, but I found disagreeing with him difficult in light of the results that he recited. Were this situation developed and in the forefront back then, I’m sure he would have added it to list of “concerns.”
And no mention of warm fucking chocolate chip cookies.
FTFY, Andy.
Jazz, East St. Louis is on the Illinois side of the river. It has always been a third world shithole. I wasn’t surprised to learn they were cutting their police force. Considering how much crime and anarchy that goes on there on a day to day basis, I was surprised to learn they had as many as they did.
A cop finds a white man in E. St. Louis, he will escort him to the nearest exit for his own safety.
Ask eddiebear. He could probably fill you in a bit better.
Seriously, my children, how can you say this administration hasn’t accomplished anything? Why look here, we just recently passed a bill!!
Now, please excuse me. Jeeves is here with my afternoon martini and then it’s off to the polo match.
Kerry is the world’s biggest douchebag, having achieved that title when Ted Kennedy died.
Sometimes I wish Mr. Beasn was a mouthy bastard. Then when my dad defends Kerry as a war veteran, who deserved his awards, and stands up for the little guy, I could sit back and giggle like a retard getting a new WWF video.
Considering how much crime and anarchy that goes on there on a day to day basis, I was surprised to learn they had as many as they did.
It sounds like effing Juarez, Mexico.
Jean Francois Kere and friends: http://tinyurl.com/ccgcyt
Somehow, this got linked to my blog. WordPress don’t know me very well. But some of you mathmagicians might appreciate it:
http://mathproblems123.wordpress.com/
Check out this exchange.
1. http://twitter.com/markknoller/status/20156996816
2. http://twitter.com/IMAO_/status/20157127261
Hilarious.
Somehow, this got linked to my blog. WordPress don’t know me very well. But some of you mathmagicians might appreciate it:
I don’t do math problems unless I’m paying for the opportunity.
It sounds like effing Juarez, Mexico.
Pretty much. The best thing that could happen to it would be nuke accident or another earthquake to change the course of the ol’ Miss.
Laura, most excellent.
ESL is fucking dump. A co-worker of mine used to be a police officer there–he has the best stories I’ve ever heard. It only takes a glasses of scotch to get him going.
I also went to ESL from downtown St. Louis for a bachelor party. A bunch of our friends thought it would be funny, but I kept my eyes wide fucking open. It’s amazing that we made it out without stab wounds.
Hilarious.
One word: Escalate!
This needs to go further.
Sox just barfed all over the floor. If I leave before my sister gets home, I don’t have to clean it up. I can just pretend he puked after I left…
It’s amazing that we made it out
You could have ended there.
Fuck YOU John Kerry. Fuckity fuck fucker.
God. I just want to smash that face in.
If I leave before my sister gets home, I don’t have to clean it up. I can just pretend he puked after I left…
Someone in my house did the same thing yesterday when the dog shit on my basket of clean laundry. I know because THEY HAD TO SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR TO OUR BEDROOM.
Are you sure it was the dog that shit on your laundry?
**looks innocent as possible**
Alvin Greene’s new campaign ad:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMU8FnbSDzI
It’s kinda “Death Row Records Meets Stretch Monster”
Are you sure it was the dog that shit on your laundry?
Well, it wasn’t fewmets, and everyone else is housebroken. I guess it could have been the cat, but the cat and I . . . Let’s just say the cat knows better. And I know it wasn’t you, b-rad – it wasn’t tapered like the ends of a handlebar mustache; it had no style.
Thank god Chief got out of the Navy.
*double front-kicks post to the groin and chin*
Name that Hostagette:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZA1M3aAZek
*double front-kicks post to the groin and chin*
________________________
On the post’s mascot, Sen. John Kerry (DB-MA) those two body parts are in roughly the same location. Biggest chin since Jay Leno.
Kerry is a dolt.
But he must be amazing in the sack, considering how much he makes for his sexual services and all.
Yall read that twitter page Shit my Dad says…well Count has this guy named *Robert who works in his shop….This guy holy cow…here are two recent quotes from him:
“….I fell in a fire once. I just laid there for a minute before I got up. I was like This is comfortable…… I told you I like pain.”
-Robert
” I’m bleeding…picked a scab. I have a tendency that if I can get my nail under it, it’s coming off.”
But he must be amazing in the sack, considering how much he makes for his sexual services and all.
______________________
Thinking of those two fucking makes me want to gouge my brain out.
Time to pack up and head for the desert. I’ll probably not have internet access much, so I’ll miss you morons.
On the other hand, I can go back to watching Buffy, Veronica Mars, and One Tree Hill, so I’ve got that going for me…
Russians are smart as fuck…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB0T2M8jDBw
Heh, I’ve met that kid — more than just a few cards short.
This guy holy cow…here are two recent quotes from him:
Wow. And gross. ;-(
Later, xbrad. Don’t get bit on the dick by a rattlesnake – you’ll die.
Good afternoon losers. How have you all fucked off so far today?
Talk about dick-biting and look who shows up!!!
Hey, Rosie!
Uniball?
http://tinyurl.com/2aw83ro
How have you all fucked off so far today?
Feeling guilty for it, actually. I pulled some strings for my company today – one of my boarding-school roommates is now a commissioner of one of the regulatory agencies here in MI, and I was able to secure a little intervention and bypass some waiting time reserved for non-connected peoples. Wait until the underlings that I’ve dealt with heretofore get ahold of this.
Mwhahahahahahahahah!
So, I’ve leveraged my contacts to my advantage, meaning a stress-diminished day.
Whose dick did you bite, Jazz?
I have no teeth, Rosetta.
it’s scary huh Mesa? How are you btw?
So, I’ve leveraged my contacts to my advantage, meaning a stress-diminished day.
Good job on making the system your bitch.
“Uniball?”
Mutherfuckaaaa!
Transsexuals are a trip.
Well, considering I rolled into Irvine Friday night, and only stayed here long enough to do one load of laundry (which I haven’t even bothered to fold), I’d say fuckin’ off till Monday afternoon is pretty good.
Good job on making the system your bitch.
I wish I were the architect you paint me as, but today’s respite is only the manifestation of my tendencies toward indolence.
SCUBA
That model is beautiful, she doesn’t need to be a man
Uni is second from left.
Transsexuals are
a triptied up in my basement right now.There you go.
Sohos, pretty good. Things are picking up at work — one of the people that I was supposed to replace is finally leaving and I’ll get better shifts. Working mostly lunches was not what I thought I was getting into, I should pick up at least a couple of more nights a week.
Cop convention in town — tonight is going to be interesting. They kept us open an extra hour and a half last night.
That model is beautiful, she doesn’t need to be a man
You need glasses, Buttafuoco. It is a man, baby.
>>Cop convention in town — tonight is going to be interesting. They kept us open an extra hour and a half last night.
Stocked up on donuts, I presume.
That TS model should give xBrad about a week of FAP material.
Good! Once you start getting the prime shifts then it should go great huh?
>>You need glasses, Buttafuoco. It is a man, baby.
I am sensing some confusion. In that photo, accodring to the description, the tranny is second from right (viewer’s right, not the model’s right). But the person who is second from left looks more like a tranny.
Ok, honest question. Who here would take a blowjob from a hot transsexual if you didn’t have to kiss her/him?
I mean smoking hot, like the transsexual looked like the girl of your dreams.
Rosetta?
I think Tushar might, and I would chalk it up to cultural differences. I think that stuff flies in Indian. Am I right or am I right, Tushar? I saw a special on Indian transsexuals on the National Geographic channel and I think they are pretty embraced. Am I wrong?
Sohos,
Would you sleep with a beautiful transsexual? I mean a guy who dresses like a girl?
Uni,
There are very few open trannies in India. The people you see on streets are eunuchs: Men who have cut off their bits. There is tolerance towards these people, but not to the extent you say. Maybe you are confusing your dreams with some NatGeo documentary.
This looks like a very exotic woman to me
http://tinyurl.com/2ftnpko
No, Uni
I mean smoking hot, like the transsexual looked like the girl of your dreams.
Hahahahahahaha.
I don’t know about anyone else here but the girl of my dreams doesn’t have a cock.
“Maybe you are confusing your dreams with some NatGeo documentary.”
Heh!
Yes, I can see that, they often overlap.
I don’t know about anyone else here but the girl of my dreams doesn’t have a cock.
Word to your tranny!
I told you guys before about the Nigerian lady I met with once who oozed sexuality. Most African women I have met have a very warm and inviting way about them. Granted these are the more educated but I would love to travel to Africa to try my luck…..if I were a single man.
Who would go with me? wouldn’t that be a blast, driving a jeep in Africa picking up on women, drinking their booze, eating their food.
only stayed here long enough to do one load of laundry
You checked it for dogshit yet? I’ve recently learned that’s a prerequisite to donning freshly washed clothing.
Uni I seriously worry about you
“Uni I seriously worry about you”
In a good way, right?
sure
Uniball must have been dropped on his head as a baby.
Well, you always here about groups of guys traveling to Asia to pick up on women, that’s never really interested me. To me, I would rather travel to Germany or Poland or Africa to pick up on women.
Fucking drunken blur of a trip with images of large rubbery nipples and great and giant rumps floating in my brain.
>> Who would go with me? wouldn’t that be a blast, driving a jeep in Africa picking up on women, drinking their booze, eating their food, bringing home their AIDS.
Fixt
I like the images of fertility and abundance.
“Fixt”
That’s the only thing that would give me pause.
Pause? I’d say that would be more like a full stop.
Who here would take a blowjob from a hot transsexual if you didn’t have to kiss her/him?
I know an effeminate guy who once blew a dude for changing a tire. It was 2:45 AM and effeminate guy was drunk and crying on the curb next to his inoperable car. This was in the inner city, and effeminate guy didn’t have any money. He stopped some “gentleman” out for a late-night stroll, and I guess effeminate guy laid the whole thing out up front – they’d trade “roadside assistance.” Can’t say I’d throw in for that kind of thing, but shit like that happens, I guess.
I don’t know what to say.
How fucking effeminate do you have to be to not know how to change a fucking tire?!
This is the worst thread ever.
“How fucking effeminate do you have to be to not know how to change a fucking tire?!”
The story kind of answered that question.
>> How fucking effeminate do you have to be to not know how to change a fucking tire?!
You think Obama could change a tire? Me neither.
I bet he’d icepack a dude, though.
“Make no mistake, I will blow you after you change my tire.”
How fucking effeminate do you have to be to not know how to change a fucking tire?!
Hahahahahaha. Maybe if he spent more time in the garage and less time gargling balls the situation would have worked out better.
SCUBA.
Say it. It sounds funny
SCUBA
SCUBA?
Sounds more like snorkeling to me.
I worked with effeminate guy. Thing was, he showed up for work the next day with a hangover, saying, “You won’t believe what happened when I left last night. . . .” He wasn’t exactly bragging, but he certainly wasn’t afraid to put it out there that he’d taken the pole position.
Understand, this is a guy who would get drunk enough to drive through the BK drive-thru from the wrong side, place his order, and – when the headset jockey informed him that he was backwards in the lane – would back out (tearing the mirrors and door handles off his car) and go back thru the right way to collect his order before going home. And he did this on multiple occasions. He was a piece of work.
I know an effeminate guy who once blew a dude for changing a tire.
Did you get any grease on your clothes while you were changing the tire, Jazz?
“Make no mistake, I will blow you after you change my tire.”
A skeptic would take half up front and half on the backside.
Did you get any grease on your clothes while you were changing the tire, Jazz?
LHF, wiser. You would have made an awful sniper – I saw that coming a mile away.
/”LHF”=low-hanging fruit. I hesitated to use the formal terminology so as to avoid a nexus effeminate guy and terminology.
“Make no mistake, I will blow you after you change my tire.”
Hahahahahahahaahaha.
Good one, numbnut.
Rosetta repeats someone else’s comment and expects every one to be amused.
Rosetta, you bastard!
You edited your comment.
LHF, wiser. You would have made an awful sniper
it had to be said.
I was with a friend once and we got kicked out of a McDonald’s drive through. We were super drunk and I got out of the car to give our order, I put my face directly in front of the microphone and screamed the order at the top of my lungs into the microphone.
the guy said, “please pull forward and keep driving.” I screamed, “What!?!” and he said, “please pull forward and keep driving.”
He was very professional about my asshole behavior, I have to give him credit.
Because he was so professional I actually kind of regretted my actions…..later.
I don’t know about anyone else here but the girl of my dreams doesn’t have a cock.
Nope. Just a really, really big potato. And the “knock me down and fuck me” heels to force it a long way up the poop shoot.
*pokes head into poat; phew. Spray’s Heaven Scent Electric Youth perfume, closes and locks the door, runs away*
I worked with effeminate guys.
______________________
You worked with HS & Rosetta?
Ok, honest question. Who here would take a blowjob from a hot transsexual if you didn’t have to kiss her/him?
uni, you are a strange horny creature.
I worked with effeminate guys.
______________________
You worked with HS & Rosetta?
Its worked for Rosetta so far. They get all comfortable around him, and the next thing you know, they’re changing their clothes around him and he’s giving them the “shocker”.
Jazz, did his friend Andrew McCarthy schtupp Jami Gertz and tool around in a sweet ’59 Vette by chance?
Julian Assange ought to have his phallus flayed, and that little fucking treasonous Manning should be curb-stomped to gravel.
http://tinyurl.com/253euyj
“uni, you are a strange horny creature.”
Are you hitting on me?
Jazz, did his friend Andrew McCarthy schtupp Jami Gertz and tool around in a sweet ’59 Vette by chance?
Not so much. I think he tried to recruit for a bukkake circle and sent in test shots to “Lambs at Play,” though.
Are you hitting on me?
yeah, come here…
*puts on hazmat suit*
*readies the Louisville Slugger*
*readies the Louisville Slugger*
HA!
Good thing I always were a cup!
Good thing I always were a cup!
I’m not aiming for your poon.
“I’m not aiming for your poon.”
Good thing I always wear a helmet!
The Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Spider
MOM!!! Uni’s gonna need to borrow the Michelin Man Suit again!!!
HAHAHAHA
http://tinyurl.com/29eo4mv
Good thing I always were a cup!
You WERE a cup? HUH?
You WERE a cup? HUH?
Two trannies, one cup.
A great ad. Not much chance of winning, but a great ad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlVO9pINcRA
“You WERE a cup? HUH?”
Ha ha he he…er um. shit.
I always fuck it up with typos.
Work just got busy, gotta go.
Are you hitting on me?
Hahahahaha. Uni, you’re cracking me up today.
You must have smoked some good sherm for lunch.
No, you’re a cup.
UNi is a strange and wondrous creature composed of equal parts lust and stupidity.
I just made an appt with my dermatologist who ran for Congress and LOST. She used to be a serious DR. now her website looks like something from a plastic surgeons ad
UNi isMen areastrange and wondrous creatures composed of equal parts lust and stupidity.Fixted.
Jazz, what think you about that starfish/spider book? I din’t read the whole article as my cold suddenly took a turn for kicking my ass. Looks like it might be interesting.
*looks at stack of unreads on my floor and nightstand*
Michael????
http://tinyurl.com/288w7nq
EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW?
Skeevy!
She used to be a serious DR. now her website looks like something from a plastic surgeons ad
Can she fix varicose veins of the ween? It’s not for me – really.
http://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/20164676808
http://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/20165136143
You guys are gross.
I’m taking my final final in 10 min!
Jazz, what think you about that starfish/spider book? I din’t read the whole article as my cold suddenly took a turn for kicking my ass. Looks like it might be interesting.
I think I’d like to read it. I used the “chocolate starfish/hotdog flavored water” because that more or less was the name of a Limp Bizkit album.
INternet’s dropping out. BBIAB
Good luck, Peel!
CHEAT OFF THE ASIAN KID!!
You guys are gross.
We do our best. Really.
CHEAT OFF THE ASIAN KID!!.
Unless it’s social studies or psychology – then cheat off the democrats.
Stupid Rosetta! In this case, Peel is the Asian kid!
Lauraw left out the best Iowahawk twitch of the day:
http://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/20152893088
Good Luck Mrs. Peel!! Did PJM send you the pink assless chaps for goodluck?
kick it’s ass Peelio
http://twitter.com/iowahawkblog/status/20152893088
bwahahahaha I am sooooooo stealing that
Lauraw left out the best Iowahawk twitch of the day:
BWHAHAHAHAHAH! Dave Burge should be a Hostage.
Um…what is a ‘dutch oven’? Please explain in a nice way.
Thank you.
>>bwahahahaha I am sooooooo stealing that
Thanks, Sohos, for making me picture you releasing the Kraken on Count.
I’m taking my final final in 10 min!
By the time you read this, Peelie, you will be DONE! DONE! DONE!
Yeaaaaa and congratufuckinglations! Now go do something wild to celebrate.
And no, I don’t mean decide to return the library books late.
dutch oven = covered wagon
Here, Beasn:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dutch+oven
Thanks, Sohos, for making me picture you releasing the Kraken on Count.
It happens everyday
?Um…what is a ‘dutch oven’? Please explain in a nice way.
Thank you.
You’re on here everyday, and don’t have “urban dictionary” on your favorites list?
It happens everyday
Everyone has to have some motivation for getting out of bed in the morning…
It happens everyday
The sohos I know doesn’t expel.
I once had to spend the night on the sofa. I did not want the wife to end up like the Kurds at the hands of Chemical Ali.
“The sohos I know doesn’t expel.”
I see what you did there.
I once had to spend the night on the sofa. I did not want the wife to end up like the Kurds at the hands of Chemical Ali.
___________
HAHAHA. Great analogy.
Catholic gets banned from US Conference of Catholic Bishops’ (USCCB) Facechimp page for civilly pointing out that Catholic Campaign for Human Development funds were being used to fund ACORN and other orgs who used the money to promote Marxism (and abortion).
http://tinyurl.com/29q3p9w
I did not want the wife to end up like the Kurds at the hands of Chemical Ali.
That’s some A+ original funny material there!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Count has this freaky thing…whenever he eats French Onion Soup…I mean seriously you need a gas mask. It is unlike ANYTHING on Earth
Ohhh..I forgot. I blame the sinuses being full of snot.
Usually you freaks are talking about vans and hoses and rubber and body cavities filled with all sorts of household items. I was thinking in that menu of assorted horrors.
I imagine that Al Gore has the stankiest ass on earth. It’s all that crow he’s been eating lately.
Drive time. Later, ‘baters.
Catholic gets banned from US Conference of Catholic Bishops’ (USCCB) Facechimp page for civilly pointing out that Catholic Campaign for Human Development funds were being used to fund ACORN and other orgs who used the money to promote Marxism (and abortion).
Yep. Shit like this is why people are fleeing the church. Even after Barry started taxpayer funding overseas, our Obama loving priest was up there preaching the need for ‘healthcare for everyone’.
Hey f*cker, how about preaching to the flock, as members of the community of God, to do those things to help their fellow man out instead of encouraging them to worship the state.
shit….
tax-payer funded abortions overseas………
I once had to spend the night on the sofa. I did not want the wife to end up like the Kurds at the hands of Chemical Ali.
It was her own fault for serving you Indian food.
Mrs. Tushar: Tushar, dinner is ready.
Tushar: Indian food? AGAIN??
Mrs. Tushar: …
Tushar: Do you know how to cook anything else?
Mrs. Tushar: Just eat it and go sleep on the couch tonight.
Video footage of a party at my friend Charlie’s house after Charlie has eaten a single hard boiled egg.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI6-JzxV-_M
My gf would eat banana’s and could CLEAR a room
Speaking of bananas …
http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=34724&vid=1&pid=762202
lol
Speaking of bananas …
OMG. I’m guessing they are catering to the light in the loafers crowd.
Someone had to ‘shop that. Look at the little pictures underneath. The close up crotch has a wrinkle the banana one doesn’t.
holy cow I didnt see that the first time
With enough raisins I can clear a stadium.
This is the worst thread ever.
Baa haaa haaa.
but that is the best comment ever.
drive time!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least this thread fully explored its gender and sexuality issues before it died.
I can’t hear you.
At least this thread fully explored its gender and sexuality issues before it died of teh full blown AIDS.
There you go.
Hello Hostages!
My inbox frightens me. I think it achieved critical mass.
At least this thread fully explored its gender and sexuality issues before it died.
But it doesn’t explain why you’re wearing a dress, Nancy.
BiW, how many Mom & Pop businesses did you bankrupt today?
Rosetta, are you telling all your friends and neighbors to go vote tomorrow?
Tomorrow is the only day I vote for democrats.
But it doesn’t explain why you’re wearing a dress,
NancyRosetta.Fixt
**sniffs armpits
I showered this morning, honest.
I didn’t.
BiW, how many Mom & Pop businesses did you bankrupt today?
Dammat! I KNEW there was something I was forgetting to do.
Very important new post.
Rosetta, are you telling all your friends and neighbors to go vote tomorrow?
Yes sir.