The dating scene really sucks

I linked a couple of these videos over the weekend, but I think they deserve their own poat…

I hate it when a fellow Hostage shows up during dinner.

*******

Chivalry may be dead, but that’s just because all you wimmens have husbands and/or boyfriends.  FUCK YOU!!!

298 Comments

  1. FIRST IS MURDER!!!!

    *splashes poast with red paint*

  2. Redrum.

  3. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES SEAN A DULL BOY.

  4. Is anyone besides me concerned about SeanM’s mental health?

    No?

    OK, me neither.

  5. pendejo grande = Shelley Duvall.

    Hahahahaha!

    HERE’S JOHNNY!!!!!

  6. *freezes to death out in hedge maze*

    Damnit.

  7. *kicks poat*

    *breaks one of SeanM’s bicuspids off*

    Sorry dude, I didn’t see you down there.

  8. That’s Okay. I was actually freezing to death. Still, ouch.

  9. Wakey wakey.

  10. I find your lack of porn…disturbing.

  11. Sean, we seem to be having trouble communicating. Put down the rubber fist.

  12. Okay, WTF, it’s sunny again. 2 days in a row.

    *checks bible, reads some quatrains*

    Yep. World ends if we get to 3. Just so you know.

  13. I’m going to sleep.

    AVENGE ME, JULIA CHILD’S GHOST!!!!!

  14. Good morning.

  15. iPhone 4, bitches.

    One Hostage has one, all the others don’t.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Ummm….mornin’.

  16. Hotspur, I’ll just compensate by never going anywhere that I don’t have at least a laptop.

  17. Well, that sounds mighty convenient.

  18. My phone calls people.

    And I never go anywhere. I’m always *here*. What the fuck do I need an iphone for?

  19. If I’m not here or at my office, I an in transit and have no need of the Web.

  20. excuses excuses

  21. Actually, I think those devices are really cool. BUT, time away from the ‘puter (waiting in the car, during lessons or whatever) are good opportunities for me to catch up on my reading, or to go for a run (that’s what I did last night while my daughter was at gymnastics – a five mile jig on the Polly -Anna trail). I know me, if I had a mobile device, you hosefuckers would have to deal with me 24/7.

  22. It’s also an Apple product. I’m still boycotting them for the time MacWrite lost my 7th-grade essay on albatross migration.

  23. Hotspur, did it come with a Steve Jobs’ Approved “How to Hold an iPhone 4 So You Don’t Drop Calls” instruction sheet?

    (I loaded the v 4 OS last week and it does have some interesting features, particularly a “fast scroll” for the absurdly long comment threads you morons have here. I’m telling Mare I made Apple do that just for her).

  24. Mine doesn’t seem to have the drop call problem.

    I love that new fast scroll thing.

  25. Off to work.

  26. My daughter used some of her graduation gift money to get herself an iphone. So naturally my wife had to use some of my hard earned money to get herself one too. I just find it highly interesting that 50 y/o women need a fucking toy to keep them entertained. Yeah, I’ve got a shitty attitude. I like money and she evidently hates the shit. My phone is the equivalent of a 4 function, 9 volt battery operated, calculator. But I can goddamn sure talk to people on it.

  27. My wife is getting a droid as soon as her current contract expires. Me, I have no desire for a mobile computing device. I work on and with computers all day, have to maintain the three computers at home, and the one at the dog business. I actually don’t “enjoy” working on or with computers – I just seem to be good at. I’d just as soon leave them somewhere, and enjoy a nice quiet time fishing. So it’s not the iphone itself I hate, as the idea of never being away from the damn things.

  28. I lurve my droid. Got addicted to it within the first week. But I can sympathize with wanting to get away – this morning, I checked my work email while lying in bed and had to answer some questions from my customer, who gets in way early. On the one hand, her questions got answered, which is good because we’re trying to ship this hardware today, but on the other, I’m not sure I like the idea of being able to easily check my work email while lying in bed…

    geoff, totally agree with you on the gross pic at IB. WTF?

  29. it’s gone now.

  30. My daughter has an iphone and she has has more problems with it. She says she misses her crackberry and wants it back

  31. My bosses Droid cracks me up, he hasnt changed the ring tone so everytime something happens it goes “DROID” in that funky computer song.

  32. Yea, phones are really cool and all. Except that I hate talking on the phone.

    so … there’s that.

  33. I’m happy with my iPhone (as are the missus and the girls).

    I’m not even really bugged about the capped data plans (if you upgrade you have to take them, the unlimited plans are grandfathered for the duration of your current contract if you stay with your 3 or 3GS). We rarely go over 200mb a month, so I could jump down to that one for $15/mon, and pay the extra $10 for those few times we go over, and I’ll still be spending less than I am now for unlimited.

  34. geoff, totally agree with you on the gross pic at IB. WTF?

    I was kind of upset last night. Shouldn’t have taken it so seriously. After all, Occam’s Razor would have said that it was just Michael posting while inebriated.

  35. Greetings.

    Beatings?

  36. >> Occam’s Razor would have said that it was just Michael posting while inebriated.

    Occam’s Toothbrush concurs.

  37. Occam’s Butt Plug.

  38. Occam’s Fleshlight

  39. Occam the Impaler.

  40. Occam the Salad Tosser

  41. Occam’s Razor would have said that it was just Michael posting while inebriated.

    Schroeder’s cat would have agreed, but he drinks a lot down on the Mobius Strip.

  42. Occam’s Murse.

  43. This is one way to deal with looters…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CKkLYYczdM

  44. Occam’s Razor

  45. This is one way to deal with looters…

    Pathetic. That was worth a sound drubbing, a few lost teeth, and a bucket of blood.

  46. That pisses me off that the looter didn’t get his ass kicked hard.

  47. Occam the Killer Whale

  48. Occam’s Razor

  49. Occam’s Razor

  50. Ok. What should I do now?

  51. Occam’s Razor Stubble

  52. What should I do now>

    1) Make us lunch.

    2) Clean the bathrooms.

    3) Go for a run.

    4) Find someplace for us to blog swarm.

    Pick two.

  53. Good morning Biznatches!!!

    I’m doing a daily workout blast every morning until the 16th of July hoping 30 more lbs. will magically melt off my body in that time.

    Totally possible, right?

  54. That’s two pounds a day. If you lose two pounds a day, you’ve got some serious problems, especially if you’re working out at the same time. That doesn’t sound healthy at all.

  55. 1) It’s not lunchtime
    2) But I just did that a few weeks ago!
    3) Ran yesterday. Today’s gym day.
    4) YOu know I suck at that, but I’ll try.

    You know, for #4 – it’s hard because hardcore lefties usually moderate. Because they welcome debate.

  56. What’s your workout blast?

    I did two workouts yesterday and the second one was HARD.

  57. It’s P90x from Beach Body sumthin er other.

    I’m putting Graham and my nephew through a little weight loss boot camp this summer. My nephew has lost 14 lbs and Graham has lost 5. Jacob has about 50 more to go, it’s gonna be a looooooong summer, Graham has about 10 maybe.

  58. btw, I almost vomited from this workout

  59. Ran yesterday. Today’s gym day.

    Would it be easier if it was Jim day?

  60. It’s P90x from Beach Body sumthin er other.

    Did I see an infomercial for that? Three separate workouts that you do for 90 days each?

  61. You’re doing P90X? I love it. That’s what my weight workout it based on.

  62. Oh, it’s more than three workouts. There are two variations for each target area … and different cardios,etc. You rotate so that you basically have four weeks of unique scheduling.

    (one week is a light week)

    The jumping workout is the hardest.

  63. I thought it was 90 days total?

    Carin, I did the Slim in 6 first because their little info thing told me to, so I did. I’ve had that Slim in 6 sitting in my CD case for several years now. ugh

    I’m SO glad that’s what your workout is based on cuz you’re body is incredible bitch and you’re my idol!!

  64. Yep, it is 90. 3 weeks on, one lighter week, repeat three times.

    Or for the rest of your life.

  65. “You’re just my little sack of pota-tas”

    I’m thinking the video in the last poat was one Rosetta made.

  66. I am coming to CT in all of my FAT glory. My fat has become so comfortable with me that nothing I do will make it go away so like they say…Love the one your with….*shoots self*

  67. I’m SO glad that’s what your workout is based on cuz you’re body is incredible bitch and you’re my idol!!

    I know that was meant for me. You love my hefty moobs.

  68. It is a GREAT workout. I don’t do the cardio anymore, but that was never my “issue.” I’ve worked out like this (maybe not this much) for years, but it wasn’t until I added weights that I finally (really) saw results.

    So… [looks around to see if MCPO is here?] What workout did you do today ?

  69. Now Sohos, it was your great progress on South Beach last summer that got me down to my fighting weight.

    You did SO good.

    But, I’m not pressuring. Unless you want me to.

  70. Yep, it is 90. 3 weeks on, one lighter week, repeat three times.
    Or for the rest of your life.

    Which is why it has to be interesting. Monotony sucks.

  71. I was going to make a joke about seeing Peej in July, so I googled ‘emaciated woman’ but now I think I’m just gonna go have a sandwich.

  72. sohos, I’m in complete denial that I’m going to lose any weight, but please, let me live in my denial.

  73. I haven’t done a workout in forever…..unless you count the job where I had to do some heavy lifting and big ladder climbing everyday. I was a lean mean 115 pound machine that couldn’t keep warm ’cause my fat padding was too thin.

    Now………..meh. Twenty pounds extra of pure squish.

  74. I was going to make a joke about seeing Peej in July, so I googled ‘emaciated woman’ but now I think I’m just gonna go have a sandwich

    Think of the models laura! Eat two please.

    and one more for me

  75. I know Carin I have to get back in that mind set. The problem is I lose it and then gain it back. It has to be a LIFESTYLE change and now that my leg is totally healed I think it is time to do it. I am going to start soon….ugh!!!!!!!!

  76. Now………..meh. Twenty pounds extra of pure squish.

    twenty extra lbs. of smart, adorable, feisty and funny as shit squish is what I’m saying.

  77. See I have 45 I am almost at the point where you just give up and be a fat person, but the thin me wants to get out

  78. Does anyone smart here know what’s wrong with my brake lights? The blinkers work, the other lights work, just not my brakes.

    I’ve turned them on, I’ve wiggled them, I plugged them in, I checked the fuses, replaced the bulbs and nuffin. I even stared at them. Still nothin’

    PJD doesn’t come home for about a week so he can’t help me.

  79. Yep, it is a lifestyle change. Which is hard at first, but I SWEAR it eventually becomes second nature.

    I not (really) trying to lose weight right now, but I still pretty much follow S. B. and I don’t even really notice it.

    If I overdo stuff – I just eat salad for dinner for a few nights.

    Last night I ate low-carb ice cream with strawberries. Yum.

    The mistake it to ever think you’re “done.” You’re never done. YOu can take a night off, but the eating habits you had before was what got you to where you/I were.

  80. *puts pjm’s check in the mail*

  81. See I have 45 I am almost at the point where you just give up and be a fat person, but the thin me wants to get out

    If you’re not happy, than you shouldn’t just give up.

    Life is to short to not be the happiest person you can be.

  82. Shit, PJ, you can’t drive if those aren’t working.

    I have no clue, though.

    You said they were plugged in, right?

  83. release my chakra cracks me the hell up

    The mistake it to ever think you’re “done.” You’re never done. YOu can take a night off, but the eating habits you had before was what got you to where you/I were.

    *cuts self
    *finds no release from mental pain
    *shoots self

  84. >> I’ve turned them on, I’ve wiggled them, I plugged them in,

    Either a fuse, or the switch on the brake pedal that lights em up is boke.

    I’m happy because I embrace the fat.

  85. NO ONE is happy carrying around too much weight

  86. good lord some Mothers are CRAAAAAZZZZZYYYYY

  87. *puts pjm’s check in the mail*

    HAHAHA! No, it’s the truth.

    I still have quite a bit of weight to go. I was 204, now I’m 175 as I looked in the meetup photos. I’d like to get down to about 145.

    But I checked the damn fuses!! Meh, it’s scary driving without them because I keep thinking people are going to slam into me.

    Oh well, I’ll see you cats later. I have a screw in my tire that I’ve got to get patched and apparently because my aunt is running VBS (vacation bible school) I’m required to work it so I have to go to a meeting for it. Then the beach!!!!

    Hopefully my nephew now understands what swim parallel to the shore means.

  88. Well, I think there are some folks who don’t care. I don’t understand it.

    Or, they care about other things so much more.

    PJ, I SWEAR – I do NOT care about how I eat now. Whole grains. Yum. Veggies. Excellent. lean meats.

    And, it you like to eat all though the afternoon, as I do, you’d better like to run ;)

  89. >> But I checked the damn fuses!!

    Then it’s the switch. It’s at the top of the brake pedal arm. Might just be stuck.

  90. Then it’s the switch. It’s at the top of the brake pedal arm. Might just be stuck.

    I’m so glad I came back for a second. WHAT?!?!?! What switch? Is it a big red button? cuz that would help

  91. dave can you come over?

    gah, I have to go.

  92. Sohos, you can always just change one or two things or change one habit that make a big difference over a period of time. There’s more than one way to skin a cat.

    My GF used to have one Dunkin’ iced coffee with cream and 2 sugars every single day. She wasn’t ever really fat-fat, but she was gradually getting thick and uncomfortable. So she just quit that one habit and dropped those extra few pounds she had been carrying around. Took a couple years, but along the way she even lost her craving for sugar.

    I used to work with a very flubbery guy who ate two donuts every weekday for breakfast. He changed that to one cup of yogurt and dropped a metric assload over the course of just a few months.
    There’s got to be one habitual thing you’re eating that you can either skip or exchange for something healthier. Or one activity you can incorporate into your day.

  93. What’s the name of that book written by that professor who was dying? He was on Oprah.

    Anyone know?

  94. 120′ girder falls off a transport truck: http://tinyurl.com/2fharne

  95. Mine is wine.

    I love it.

    I just can’t have it every day as I’d like.

    I mean, I could if I skipped dinner. Which isn’t so great for my running.

    So – I’m getting ready to watch “Intervention” last night,and just thought a glass of wine would be PERFECT.

    The irony was too much for me, so I passed.

  96. What’s the name of that book written by that professor who was dying? He was on Oprah.

    Randy Pausch, “The Last Lecture.”

  97. The book he did was The last Lecture, right?

  98. Well, I guess Jazz is just a bit faster than me.

    WHATEVER.

  99. The irony was too much for me, so I passed.

    I would have found something else to watch. If I want to watch a bunch of addled addicts, I just have to go to the family Christmas party.

  100. Pj, there are different configurations, they are all usually installed at the top of the brake pedal arm.

    http://0.tqn.com/d/autorepair/1/0/1/2/97403821.gif

    If it’s busted, it’s busted and just needs to be replaced. Fortunately it ain’t terribly expensive.

  101. Wine doesn’t make you fat, though.
    It doesn’t do what sugar/ starch does.

    Neither does whiskey.

    *looks at shoe, then up at ceiling, whistles*

  102. No it doesn’t. But it still is calories.

    If I want to watch a bunch of addled addicts, I just have to go to the family Christmas party.

    Oh, now these addicts are much more fun. They had this one huffer – OMG. What a trip.

  103. *takes two pulls from the bottle in my desk

    CAL-OOOO-RIEEEES

  104. “Randy Pausch, “The Last Lecture.””

    Thanks Jazz and Car in, that’s the book.
    The local high school is requiring that all kids read this for summer reading.

    Anyone else here read it? Is it any good?

    I tend to shy away from anything written by someone who is dying, so overblown and urgent.

  105. HAHAHAHA

    The commercial at the beginning f that girder accident is for a law firm.

    On it.

  106. I tend to shy away from anything written by someone who is dying, so overblown and urgent.

    Dying people have their priorities all messed up.

  107. The best way to loose weight it just to go all out in working out. I swear, I have lost so much weight since I started biking this summer, and lately these climbs have had me in a state where I have to eat or else I feel like my body is breaking down on me.

    The last ride/climb I did my stomach muscles were almost cramping to the point of doubling over from usage, and my shoulders are in pain.

    I am going up again today and hope to make the 3,0000 foot climb three times this week.

  108. “Dying people have their priorities all messed up.”

    They get a little pushy.

  109. Uni- My 11-year old son did a little animation on his DSi of a stick mountain biker falling into a deep ravine and splattering blood and guts everywhere on the rocks below. I thought of you when I saw it. I might have to save it as a gif and post it. It made me laugh.

  110. And smelly.

  111. Introducing the Menstruation Machine!!!

    Fitted with a blood dispensing mechanism and lower-abdomen-stimulating electrodes, the Menstruation Machine simulates the pain and bleeding of an average 5 day menstruation process of a human.

  112. Rich,
    That’s funny. There’s some truth to it as well. I have had some epic crashes. When I was 19 I was biking in Southern Utah and fell off a 20 foot drop, went over my handlebars, my bike fell after me and landed on my head. I started wearing a helmet after that.

    Last year I crashed on a rocky switchback and broke some pieces off my bike which I couldn’t’ find at the time. About a month later I was hiking with a friend in the same spot and found the broken bar end.

    Last year a friend and I rode a trail that had a spot where there was a deep compression divot after a small wooden bridge, we joked about how many people must crash there. The next time we rode it it started to rain, I hit the divot and flew over my handlebars and down the mountain. We couldn’t stop laughing. The funny thing was there were bits and pieces of wreckage where I landed. There were about three water bottles and some torn cloth. It was obvious it was a very common place to crash. My friend and I were in tears.

    Post it if you can, I would love to see it.

  113. I’ll see what I can do.

  114. There is no feeling like the feeling of going over your handlebars.

    Yet, if you don’t crash, mountain biking is as good as a day of skiing powder in my opinion. One friend I bike with a lot stated, “every day is a powder day” when we compared biking to skiing.

  115. There is no feeling like the feeling of going over your handlebars.

    I could give Superman flying lessons. He could give me some landing lessons.

  116. Jazz,
    It can be summed up like, “Is it happening? Yes, holy shit here I go, up and over, hope it doesn’t hurt, whoooop!”

    Then you land, THUD!

  117. JAzz,
    Do you ride?

  118. The best way to loose weight it just to go all out in working out. I swear, I have lost so much weight since I started biking this summer, and lately these climbs have had me in a state where I have to eat or else I feel like my body is breaking down on me.

    Not true. At least not for women.

    I did p90X and ran and everything. I weighed 153. Added South beach? Got down to 128 in nothing flat.

  119. JAzz,
    Do you ride?

    Yes, but I ride motorcycles. I’ve gone over the bars more than once – but only on the trails (’77 Yamaha Enduro DT 400). It sucks so bad.

  120. The flying part is great, though. Love it. I’m just not a fan of landing.

  121. Morning!

    Introducing the Menstruation Machine!!!

    Ha! Thanks but no thanks. Already living that dream.

  122. Ha! Thanks but no thanks. Already living that dream.

    I don’t think you’re the target audience, although I suppose you could enjoy Aunt Flo’s company every day, if you wanted – sort of like having her move in so you could care for her.

  123. Brit Hume explaining why liberals hate guns:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctuUlWgFKP4

  124. “I’m just not a fan of landing.”
    HA! Same here.

    I have a friend who rides motocross and has participated in the Baja 1000 a couple of times. He keeps trying to get me into it.

    I think I would love it if I ever did it. I love the idea of riding an Enduro down to Mexico.

  125. I love the idea of riding an Enduro down to Mexico.

    I like short rides, and I’m not much of a trail rider anymore. I ran over a pregnant lady who was on the backside of a blind hairpin turn. She was fine, the baby was fine, and I was fine, but I’d had a few accidents (I’ve been hurt far more on the trails than on the road) and just decided that I didn’t want to trail ride anymore.

    Yes, I was on a motorcycle and ran over a pregnant lady.

  126. Yes, I was on a motorcycle and ran over a pregnant lady.

    Epic Jazz.

    Way outdoes my running over a bunny rabbit the night before Easter.

  127. Man , it’s 64 degrees here. 85 in Detroit. they’ve got a high of 91 and we’ve got a high of 70.

    Weird. It’s been like this for a few weeks. It’s an HOUR away.

  128. “Yes, I was on a motorcycle and ran over a pregnant lady.”

    Classic

  129. Moe Lane on the pending finance reform bill:

    OK, here’s the situation on the Dodd-Frank financial bill. The Democrats need 60 to get it over the finish line, and they currently have 58 Democrats in the Senate. They got 60 aye votes on the first version.

    * Senators Feingold (D) and Cantwell (D) both voted against Dodd-Frank last time.
    * Senator Brown (R) voted for the first version, but is being reported now as having switched his vote to ‘no’ over the last-minute addition of new taxes to the final version (H/T: Instapundit).
    * Senator Collins (R) also voted for the first version, and is likewise balking over the new taxes (no commitment).
    * Senator Snowe (R), who also voted for the first version, is sounding iffy on voting for this one, again because of the new taxes.
    * In other words: one switch to no and probably a second.
    * Senator Grassley (R) is about the only remaining potential pickup (he voted for cloture), and he won’t commit to signing off on the final version.
    * And, of course, Senator Byrd died last weekend.

    So, basically the Democrats went from 60 votes to anywhere from 59 to 55; my assessment is that they don’t have Brown, Collins, and maybe Snowe (net Ayes: 57). Feingold won’t switch his vote: they’ll retain Grassley on the cloture thing and probably pick up Cantwell, as she’s the weaker one of the two Democratic no votes (net Ayes: 58). Subtract out Byrd and that works out to 57 aye votes, or not enough for cloture. Even assuming that they can get Feingold to switch and lock in Snowe, that’s 59… and that scenario will only work if they can get that 60th seat filled soon.

    In other words, I assume that at this very moment there is a Democratic party official trying to avoid losing control and scream at the governor of West Virginia about how he needs to appoint a successor to Byrd right now.

    http://tinyurl.com/2bcnsma

  130. Yes, I was on a motorcycle and ran over a pregnant lady.

    Epic Jazz.

    Classic

    Not the best day of my life. She was really preggo, too – seven or eight months. She had tire tracks across her thighs and strawberries everywhere. I saw much more preggo lady than I ever wanted to – mostly all awry and skewed and stuff.

  131. It’s cool here today, too, Carin. It’s 66F, high of 70F. Pleasant.

  132. Jazz, Carin, and Uni own the comments.

  133. “I saw much more preggo lady than I ever wanted to – mostly all awry and skewed and stuff.”

    Jazz,
    I would have been very upset.

    Having said that, did you get wood?

  134. I put on about 5-7 pounds of stress weight last semester and I’m still trying to get them off. But I should be able to get them off before the wedding no problem.

    Working out doesn’t affect my weight anywhere near as much as diet. I do have to do leg lifts to get the flab off my thighs and heinie, but other than that, I could run all day and still not lose weight if I’m eating junk food.

    Started a new workout, mostly for my upper body, though. It came with my parents’ new total gym. My triceps are already more defined after just one week.

  135. I would have been very upset.

    Having said that, did you get wood?

    Heh – no wood. I was very upset for three years. After I hit her, I rode back to camp, and I haven’t trail ridden since.

  136. “I haven’t trail ridden since.”

    You need to get out and do it again. Think of the odds of you hitting another pregnant woman while trail riding.

  137. Think of the odds of you hitting another pregnant woman while trail riding.

    Astronomical, I effing HOPE.

  138. Glamor shots of the hottie Russian spy charged this morning:

    http://tinyurl.com/2cqgmak

  139. Where are all our hosefuckers today? I ran to down (drove) got a coffee and some supplements … came home, juiced-up some spinach/tom/red pepper combo.

    I have been SO tired lately. I don’t know why I never learn. Veggie drinks and proper vitamins is a must when you’re working out and have reached “a certain age.”

  140. We have some workers here … installing the stone work around our new indoor grill.

    My dad HAD to have it. @@.

  141. Dave in Texas has saved my life!

    I’m getting the screw removed from my tire as I type this, then I’m headed over to the auto parts store to pick up my new brake switch.

    I went to my dad’s house told him what it might be and he took it out and will put the new one in. Costs me a total of 15 sumpin dollars.

    I did run over my iPhone and cracked the screen during all this, but I can still see, so I’m pretty lucky.

    Dave…… Can you fix my screen?

  142. Think of the odds of you hitting another pregnant woman while trail riding.

    Pretty slim, I hope. But then, the first and only time I tried skiing, I hit a tree, a stone wall, and a barbed-wire fence all on the first (and only) trip I made “downhill”. I think some people just shouldn’t do some things – karma told me skiing was off-limits. Sounds like Jazz should listen carefully to karma before trying again.

  143. Carin, I can’t WAIT to get my juicer out of storage. I used to make a spinach, tomato, carrot, celery beat and sumpin else juice and it was SO flipping good. So sweet.

    We made an attempt to find it, but storage is packed pretty tight

  144. Video of cool Canadian at the protests:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CKkLYYczdM

  145. Where are all our hosefuckers today?

    Uni’s here. Rich was, but I think he left.

  146. “I think some people just shouldn’t do some things – karma told me skiing was off-limits.”

    That’s how I feel about rock climbing. I KNOW it will kill me, so I stay away.

  147. I’m reminded of my #1 tip to lose weight: drink only water (juice you make is probably ok). Started drinking only water in college and lost 5 lb in 2 wks. Which is a lot when you’re this short.

  148. So, Gateway Pundit links a story about an Italian Tea Party. The pic he uses has a blogger holding what looks like an American flag with signatures on it. I left a comment on it at his site and at the original, but defacing American flags isn’t cool, even if one means well.

    http://tinyurl.com/3xdkgl3

  149. I drink a ton of water.

    It’s a tricky balance, though, when losing weight and working out. You CAN get too tired. How do you eat enough/the right stuff to work out and still lose?

    The answer? Juicers. Pack all the good stuff into a small drink.

    Spinach. Toms. Cucs. Red peppers. Whatever. yum.

  150. I eat the fattiest foods I can find. And wash them down with real Coke.

    With 2 sugars.

  151. >> Dave…… Can you fix my screen?

    Hold it up to the monitor so I can see it.

  152. How the hell did PJ manage to run over her phone? Was it pregnant?

  153. PJ apparently you were doing it right!

    http://i.imgur.com/Y2Bxp.jpg

  154. Iowahawk put up a link to his kid’s performance of Ram Jam’s “Black Betty.”

    I’ve gotta say, it’s pretty goddam good for any age, and his kid is 14, the other guys in the band are 13-15. They do not sound like a middle high any school band at all. The rest of the post is really good, too.

    http://tinyurl.com/29ao4ed

  155. Shit. I show up and all the wimmens leave.

    **sniffs armpit**

    Oh.

  156. PJ apparently you were doing it right!

    HA HA HA!!!

    I’m goin’ to hell for sure.

  157. I just visualized Dave up on stage with them playing bass

  158. Scottw–that would make an awesome header pic!!

  159. **sniffs armpit**

    Duuuuuude! You been working as cameraman on “Dirty Jobs” again?

  160. No, AD. Just didn’t bother taking a shower this morning.

    And just to piss me off, the reason I stayed here, rather than going to AZ a couple days ago, was to take my mom to an appointment. So my sister showed up and took her to the appointment today.

    Bitch.

  161. I thought you were going to go with on the appt, Xbrad?!?

  162. Oh yeah, I forgot earlier: the really funny thing about the Laptop Steering Wheel Desk reviews to me was that one of them was written by a coworker! He didn’t answer my email asking if it was him, but it was one of those “confirmed real name” reviews, the location matches, and his name isn’t that common.

  163. I decided to come here instead and look at your coconuts, Cyn. Plus, no real point in my going to the appt.

  164. **ogles Cyn’s coconuts**

  165. Brietbart is offering $100k to anyone who delivers him the JournoList archives.

    I wanna have that man’s babies.

  166. I decided to come here instead and look at your coconuts, Cyn.

    Well, who wouldn’t?

  167. Brietbart is offering $100k to anyone who delivers him the JournoList archives.

    HA HA HA HAAA

    I bet they’ve already been deleted.

  168. Well, if I HAD to go to the appointment, I would. I gotta try to stay on mom’s good side. She’s just the type to take me out of the will…

  169. Laura, you know someone, somewhere, has a copy.

  170. Ok, at the mechanics hoping my dad didn’t install the brake light switch correctly and that’s why it’s not working. I had to leave cuz my other nephew is there coming off a meth high and it’s scary as shit.

    Also realizing I can’t see out of a cracked phone screen as well as I thought.

    Damn it!!

  171. You ran over your phone??????

    What the fuck is wrong with you?????

  172. Oh, I didn’t know it was an email list.

    Yeah, you know there have to be some packrats in that bunch that delete nothing.

  173. My problem with JL was that it was explicitly a tool for the left to shape media stories to further Dem/Lib political goals and candidates. This from the very same people that tell us they are objective.

  174. I’m not sure if I’m disappointed or pleased that H2 didn’t make this list:

    http://tinyurl.com/27w6rfj

  175. I’m not planning on bringing any pants to AZ.

  176. So it turns out I’m more retarded than I thought. I replace my blinker bulbs, not my break bulb.

    I’m so glad pjd has learned to just laugh at me…… for the most part.

    Just picked up a 6 pack of beer for the mechanics to pay them

  177. Where’s my 6 pack, PJ?

    **runs from the room crying**

  178. PJ, you better get some peroxide.

  179. I’m not planning on bringing any pants to AZ.

    Doing your part to scare away the illegals, eh?

  180. I try not to scare away the illegals that do my yardwork. Other than that, fuck ‘em.

  181. Don’t act like there’s yardwork to do in the desert b-rad

  182. Don’t act like there’s yardwork to do in the desert b-rad

    Not for me. At least, not as long as we have a ready supply of illegals.

  183. PJ see 2:19

  184. Scott, does the hump get jealous when you grope Laura?

  185. Where the fuck is everyone?

  186. Oh, sorry.

    I was off fucking.

  187. **thud**

  188. This poat, and PJM, could use a swift kick in the nuts.

  189. “I was off fucking.”

    For real?

    Who was the lucky guy?

  190. Oh. That’s gonna leave a mark. Let me get you some ice.

  191. Naw. I was just joking.

  192. PJ, and her keys, phone, and brake lights:

    http://tinyurl.com/33mqwf7

  193. “Naw. I was just joking.”

    ha……ha……ha

  194. Car in,
    Have you noticed that the better shape you are in, the better you fuck?

  195. Who was the lucky guy?

    I just figgered it would be her purple friend from her PoL pic.

    I mean, what guy would tap a girl with no bewbs?

  196. PJ apparently you were doing it right!

    http://i.imgur.com/Y2Bxp.jpg

    HAHAHAHA!

    I blame dave in texas for my cracked screen. If he had told me that I replaced my blinker lights and not my brake lights, I wouldn’t have been where I was when I cracked my phone.

    Gee, thanks dave.

  197. I mean, what guy would tap a girl with no bewbs?

    *raises hand*

    I all boobs, big AND small. As long as there’s nothing swinging downstairs, it’s all good to me.

  198. I was going to tell you it was the brake pedal switch too PJM.

    *stands back to back with Dave*

    I didn’t know you were we todd about tail lights.

  199. I have boob, Xbrad. They’re just … petite.

  200. Okay. Driving!

  201. ave you noticed that the better shape you are in, the better you fuck?

    I’ll have to ponder that.

  202. Car in has bewbs. I saw ‘em.

  203. “I just figgered it would be her purple friend from her PoL pic.”

    Nah.

    Car in was sitting at her desk when she received a call from a man. He said, “I really love what you did to me last night, who knew your finger could give a man such pleasure, and you sucked my dick like a Hoover, thank you so much, when can I schedule another time to be with you”?

    Car in replied, “Whose is this!?”

  204. Yeah, Jazz, I’m with you, but I don’t want Car in to know that.

  205. ave you noticed that the better shape you are in, the better you fuck?

    Dayum, I’m gonna be reaaaaaally freaking good then because I’m damn good now.

  206. *stands back to back with Dave*

    Who’s taller?

  207. I love boobs. Period.

    And ass. I am more of an ass man, I really love ass.

    And vagina.

    And small of the back

    And face

    And hair, love their hair

    and brains, of course, but not as much as ass.

  208. I’m mo debbinibly an ass man.

    I can put up with a lot of ugly for a great ass.

  209. “Dayum, I’m gonna be reaaaaaally freaking good then because I’m damn good now.”

    PJM,
    I just emailed you my number. Give me a call when you are in Utah…..if you need anything…..like your car breaks down…..or you need advice on a restaurant……..anything.

  210. “I can put up with a lot of ugly for a great ass.”

    So true.

  211. I’m not into ass. Good thing. My bride says she has pancake butt.

  212. Send me a pic, and I’ll give you my honest opinion of your wife’s ass, Hotspur.

    Because I’m a giver.

  213. Switch made more sense, it’s odd for both bulbs to burn out at the same time.

  214. It’s funny how men love everything about women, but women really don’t love everything about men. Like have you ever heard a woman say, “he has a lovely scrotum”. It just doesn’t work that way. Yet men truly love the labia, we love everything about the woman.

  215. Send me a pic, and I’ll give you my honest opinion of your wife’s ass, Hotspur.

    Come to the meat-up and you can see it in person – well, clothed, of course.

  216. I just emailed you my number. Give me a call when you are in Utah…..if you need anything…..like your car breaks down…..or you need advice on a restaurant……..anything.

    she needs a new iPhone.

  217. “she needs a new iPhone.”

    Er, um, within reason.

    I don’t even have an iPhone.

  218. , but women really don’t love everything about men. Like have you

    Everything? No. Not everything.

    I think the scrotum was intended, by God, to make you men a tad more whimsical.

  219. I happen to have one I’m willing to sell.

  220. Good timing!

  221. Come to the meat-up and you can see it in person – well, clothed, of course.

    Would that I could.

  222. “I think the scrotum was intended, by God, to make you men a tad more whimsical.”

    I literally laughed out loud after I read that.

  223. these workmen are STILL here.

    there goes my workout.

    crap.

  224. “Good timing!”

    Perfect timing!

  225. Switch made more sense, it’s odd for both bulbs to burn out at the same time.

    I said that to the mechanic. He said to me, “If I were a bettin’ man, I’d say they didn’t all go out at the same time.”

    Which is quite possible. The only way I found out they were out is coming home from visiting PJD at the hospital, some guy flagged me down to tell me. It’s always fun when people do that because I don’t have electric windows, especially when they’re on the passenger side of my car.

    she needs a new iPhone.
    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  226. #

    Everything? No. Not everything.

    I think the scrotum was intended, by God, to make you men a tad more whimsical.
    #
    Comment by Hotspur on June 29, 2010 4:45 pm

    I happen to have one I’m willing to sell.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I just about fell out of my chair.

  227. I literally laughed out loud after I read that.

    :)
    Honestly, though. We women have all our baby-making parts safely tucked away.

    And what does God do to your most sensitive, choice bits? Leaves ‘em hanging.

  228. How did yer phone crackin’ go hotspur?

  229. Shit, I have to go back to work.

  230. And what does God do to your most sensitive, choice bits? Leaves ‘em hanging.

    He knew he’d be fueling a whole 5 seasons of America’s Funniest Videos….

  231. Ok carin, I just bet Graham that he can’t do the P90X twice today. He thinks he can.

    He cries when he does the Slim in 6.

  232. Whimsical? No.

    Not whimsical.

    Dedicated.

  233. Which workout Peej?

    I did two yesterday, and it just about killed me. Did 50 min on my nordic track … then went for a five mile run.

  234. I cracked that phone like a motherfucka. I made that phone my bitch. But that’s not the one I’m gonna sell.

  235. But carin, you’re a rock star. Graham poops out in the middle of slim in 6

  236. ‘Sup, biznitches?

  237. I’m disappointed Dave in Texas is not here to accept responsibility like a man for cracking my iPhone and not in the good way

  238. Sooooo, tomorrow I go shopping. Would anyone like a 42″ projection HDTV with component stand?

  239. I’m disappointed Dave in Texas is not here to accept responsibility like a man for cracking my iPhone and not in the good way

    I don’t understand your disappointment at all. After all, there aren’t many things Dave does like a man.

  240. It’s FREE!

  241. I was hoping the girl who eliminated Venus from Wimbledon would be one of those super hot Eastern European model amazonian babe types, but instead she is just cute:

    http://tinyurl.com/3xrykeb

  242. MCPO,
    I would take it but our next TV is going to be a plasma. My wife hates our 52 inch projection HDTV that takes up half our living room. She wants a thin one we can hang up over a couch.

  243. I don’t understand your disappointment at all. After all, there aren’t many things Dave does like a man.

    *sigh

    I guess I have to rethink my whole idea of the meaning of life.

    Why God? WHY!?!?!

  244. MCPO – list it in the FREE section on craigslist

  245. Bonjour, fucker de hoses!

  246. Is cuffy going to France?

  247. MCPO – list it in the FREE section on craigslist

    HAHAHAHA!

  248. Regarding the remarks earlier today from our very lovely Hostage wimmens about needing to take off a few pounds. I used to work with a lady who was perpetually on a diet. One day I notice a sigh/saying taped to her monitor where she could see but hardly anyone else could unless they were purposely looking for it.

    It said: “Deep inside me there’s a beautiful, skinny woman screaming to get out. I usually stick a box of chocolates in front of her to shut her the fuck up.”

  249. I love working with the technical experts of the support department of HP./

  250. HAHAHAHA! Clintbird, you wanna know what my coffee cup says?

    “Dear Lord, if you won’t make me skinny, please make my friends fat.”

  251. That’ll work too, PJM!

  252. BANGLAR AYTCH PEE!

  253. I’m PJ’s friend/

  254. It’s my fault. You told me you changed the bulbs and I thought you actually knew what you were doing.

    It’s also my fault for not telling you “oh shit, don’t forget not to drive over your phone”.

    My bad.

    (all kidding aside, like scott said, odd for them both to die at once.)

  255. Actually all three of them were dead, the one at the top was gone too. I’m glad you’ve taken responsibility. Your spanking won’t be nearly as painful now.

    and like I said, the mechanic said if he was a bettin’ man, he’d say they didn’t all go out at once.

    *picks up paddle

    Now assume the position

  256. I’m PJ’s friend/

    Fatass.

  257. I was hoping the girl who eliminated Venus from Wimbledon would be one of those super hot Eastern European model amazonian babe types

    Did Anna Kournikova or Marina Sharapova ever really even play tennis? Or did they just pose for pictures wearing the little short skirt dealios?

  258. It’s not my ass that’s fat, Jazz. Just my belly.

    And my peen.

  259. Space Peen

  260. Maria Sharpova plays. And plays pretty well. Far better than Anna ever did.

  261. I guess you could write with it, PJ.

  262. Space Peen

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

  263. You know who was a really really hot “ends-with-ova” tennis player?

    http://is.gd/d9eGC

  264. You know who was a really really hot “ends-with-ova” tennis player?

    Cuffy likes men.

  265. I need some affirmation here.

  266. I need some affirmation here.

    You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and doggonit, people like me.

  267. I don’t care whether people like YOU!

    Why is it about you? Why, for once, can’t it be about me?!?

  268. Welp, looks like I’ll lose a facebook friend. Here’s her comment and then my reply.

    ” So I went to my doctor because the glands in my throat were really swollen and I generally felt like shit. After waiting 20 min. in the waiting room they call me up to the desk and tell me I have to pay my $32 balance before I can see him. Can they actually turn away a sick patient over $32?? Is that ethical??”

    “Name any other service that would let you get more service if you had a balance. “

  269. Why is it about you? Why, for once, can’t it be about me?!?

    Damn it! I screwed that one up. PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

  270. I like Chief.

  271. But I thought Obama care was going to fix all that.

  272. Yeah, I’m seriously waiting for her to scream and cry about what I said. She’s a total lefty though, but she’s weak.

  273. HAHAHAHAHA!

    kagan and book banning. It’ll be ok that she said it, but Sarah Palin will get blamed for it even if she didn’t do it.

    http://www.breitbart.tv/kagans-own-words-its-fine-if-the-law-bans-books-because-government-wont-really-enforce-it/

  274. I am eating a bowl of baked beans, they are so fucking good.

  275. I am a huge fan of baked beans. Costco had an old man handing out samples of a band which I never heard of about a month ago. I loved them so we picked up a fucking shitload of motherfucking baked beans. I put them in the garage and forgot we had them until yesterday. I had my wife make a batch of her special baked beans with the beans I got from Costco.

    Heaven.

  276. I just split the last bite into two smallish bites to prolong the pleasure.

    Now when I ride I will fart…more than I already do.

  277. If you haven’t read this article from last Friday, you should. It’s by J. Christian Adams, a Justice Department Civil Rights Division lawyer who resigned over the New Black Panther case.

    http://tinyurl.com/26tf7sl

    The amount of politicization of the department and what I’d characterize as criminal delinquency of duty that he documents is simply staggering.

  278. “handing out samples of a brand ” is what it was supposed to say.

  279. I just found two more articles on the NBP case:

    http://tinyurl.com/32eb7eh and http://tinyurl.com/2cqckfl

    The second was written by Adams again, the first by Jennifer Rubin.

  280. Jazz,
    This is about you and your girlfriend.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp1fQ51YZMM

  281. Thanks, Uni. I actually like the song, too. :D

  282. Quote of the day:

    The Chicago crime buffet is over, we are not prey…

    –Colleen Lawson. Litigant. McDonald v Chicago

    How’s our asses taste, libs?

  283. Beans is good for you heart but …

  284. The new iPhone could give a boner to Michelle Obama.

  285. HP printers suck.

    I need a drink.

  286. God knows that skinny little effeminate poor excuse for a leader can’t produce one.

  287. There was a line of about 200 people outside the Apple store here in Rochester on Friday. The sign said it was for people who had ‘pre-ordered’.

    Did you wait in line Hotspur?

    http://tinyurl.com/ykt4xwb

  288. Sorry, it was Thursday night, not Friday.

  289. *hands Cyn a tall vodka tonic*

    *curls up at foot of huge fainting couch*

  290. Pupster, I got there at quarter to six. Store opened at 7. It was a beautiful summer morning and everyone was very chatty.

    I’m usually at work by 7 so it wasn’t a big deal. I was 17th in line. I was out of the store by 7:35.

  291. Cyn, never ever ever buy anything HP, unless you enjoy anal, which I’m betting you don’t, but I digress.

    Epson. Periododo!

  292. I have to go do this to my tabby.

    Wish me luck.

  293. Thanks for the drinkypoo, puppy.

    HP used to be a good product. Now I want to go all gangsta on it.

    Oh, and NEW POAT

  294. We’ve got an HP Color Laserjet 4550 that’s about 8 years old. It failed once, and a guy drove clear out here from ‘The City’ and fixed it for free! It came with ‘on-site maintenance’. It’s run many thousands of pages and still works great. It IS a commercial-grade product, and weighs in at about 150 lb. It is NOT one of the little ‘toy’ HP printers that you throw away when they run out of ink/toner.We like it very much.

    We used it to print documentation for a program that Anita wrote for friends in the sky-diving biddness. Folks from other Drop Zones would be here for a meet, see it being used and ask “Where did you get that program?” Then they would want it for their DZ. It spread like a STD. Even though we priced it over a grand, It ended-up in many DZs in 23 countries! What a PITA! The support tail got VERY long. What fun getting a support-call at 0300 on Sunday morning from Spain!
    We GAVE the source, rights, and support-burden away! Do not miss it!


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