Avatar: A Movie Review

My assumption is that if a movie is going to have a political slant, it’s going to slant left.  I accept this as a reality of life and I’m okay with it.  I recognize that it takes a specific sort of low grade ignoramus to devote their life to playing make believe rather than actually contributing something of real value to the world.  The left is made up exclusively of low grade ignoramuses so it makes sense to me that Hollywood is liberal and that that viewpoint will populate its end product.

Because I know Hollywood is run by liberals playing dress-up, the bar that I’ve set for actors, directors, dialogue, plot, action sequences, special effects and the entire cinematic experience is pretty fucking low.  This explains why I like as many movies as I do; it’s relatively easy to surpass my expectations and that is exactly how I like it.  If I’m going to invest my money and my time, I want to feel that I was rewarded for my investment and that’s pretty much the way it works out.

On very rare occasions however, a movie will fail to clear this purposely low bar and when that happens, it fucking pisses me off.  Avatar fucking pissed me off.

I believe it’s proper to offer a compliment prior to ripping someone a new asshole so let me say that Avatar is one of the most stunningly beautiful visual movies I have ever seen.  Actually I would have to put it in a class by itself when it comes to that.  The world James Cameron created in Avatar is incredible to see.  I think on this there is probably unanimous agreement.

I believe James Cameron invested something like $200 million of his own money just to develop the technology to make Avatar.  It’s hard to say that he didn’t get his money’s worth when you watch the movie.  Unfortunately he spent a buck fiddy on everything else.

How bad was the acting?  The actual people in the movie were less believable in their roles than the computer generated creatures that inhabit Pandora.  And it pains me to say it but that goes for Sigourney Weaver too.  The rest of the cast are unknowns and I will place a large wager on them staying that way.  They were terrible.

And I say that fully appreciating the directorial device of having the bad guys overact.  Lest you confuse any complete fucking idiots that may be watching your movie, having the antagonists play their characters over the top is understandable.  However the degree to which Giovanni Ribisi and Stephen Lang (the Colonel) ham it up to remind you that they’re the bad guys is fucking embarrassing.  And irritating.  And insulting.  Yeah…they’re the bad guys…I get it James you fucking ham-fisted douchebag.

Of course the acting leads us to dialogue.  Great dialogue can sometimes redeem poor acting but great acting can rarely save a shitty script. You combine poor acting and a poorly written script and what you get is Avatar.  I honestly believe that if you watched Avatar without any special effects you would, in fact, be watching one of the worst movies ever made.

The first 90 minutes were actually pretty enjoyable thanks to the special effects and the visual beauty.  However there is a precise moment when the entire experience shits the bed and you want to start hacking people to death and setting them on fire.

I went into this movie knowing the anti-military, anti-human, pro-Gaia angle but, again, a movie with a liberal slant is dog bites man.  What is man bites fucking dog is the utterly retarded manner with which that theme is foisted on the viewer and that is Avatar’s greatest offense.  It’s not that it has a liberal message; it’s that it delivers that message not through creative plots twists, interesting character development or witty dialogue but rather by screaming Bushitler.

The pivotal scene in Avatar is where, in the course of 5 seconds you hear the following: “daisy cutter,” “shock and awe” and “pre-emptive war.”  They might as well have dubbed in a flushing toilet at that exact moment because that signals the end of a visually pleasing film and the beginning of James Cameron treating you like you’re an idiot and probably a booger-eating, window-licking, diaper-soiling retard.

As we watched that scene last night, the moment we heard “Daisy Cutter”, Mrs. Rosetta grunted and I did this:

It is not the message of the film that is so offensive about Avatar.  Maybe it should be but it isn’t.  Liberals make movies about things that liberal believe.  Avatar is one of the worst movies ever made because it assumes that the viewer is a fucking idiot and in that regard it is one of the most insulting movies I’ve ever seen.  I’m 100% certain that James Cameron is incapable of shame or embarrassment as he swims in his pool filled with $1,000 bills but he should be both ashamed and embarrassed.

If you’ve not seen Avatar and you still want to watch it, please borrow it from a friend or buy a bootlegged copy from China.  Because if you pay money to see this piece of shit, you are giving your hard-earned money to an elitist liberal billionaire for the privilege of being called a dumbass.

Rating below the fold.

I give Avatar 1 Johnny Cash.

And if I ever meet James Cameron I’m going to break my foot off in his ass.

Fin.

234 Comments

  1. Seriously, fuck you, James Cameron.

  2. MOM!!! ROSETTA SUBCONTRACTED HIS MOVIE REVIEWS TO BIW AGAIN!!!

  3. And my wife wondered why I didn’t want to waste my money on this piece of shit.

  4. James Cameron treating you like you’re an idiot and probably a booger-eating, window-licking, diaper-soiling retard.

    The fact that he’s right doesn’t mean it’s not still insulting.

  5. ” I’m 100% certain that James Cameron is incapable of shame or embarrassment as he swims in his pool filled with $1,000 bills but he should be both ashamed and embarrassed.”

    “Because if you pay money to see this piece of shit, you are giving your hard-earned money to an elitist liberal billionaire for the privilege of being called a dumbass.”

    *Johnny Carson voice*

    That’s good stuff.

  6. Dennis Miller’s review was, IIRC, “Dances With Wolves on Pandora.”

  7. Wut?

  8. Yeah, even stupid people don’t like being called stupid.

    These are worth a watch: Redlettermedia’s Avatar Review parts 1 and 2 of 2

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJarz7BYnHA

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLzKwTcGO_0

  9. And when I think about how many of my own family members raved about this movie, including my own mother (which leads me to believe that I was adopted), a double facepalm is not enough.

  10. No one in my immediate family has seen Avatar, and yet, we are still able to carry on a conversation with our peers, don’t feel shunned by society, and we seem to be able to function better than most.

  11. No one in my immediate family has seen Avatar, and yet, we are still able to carry on a conversation with our peers, don’t feel shunned by society, and we seem to be able to function better than most.

    SHUN THE NON-SHEEPLE! SHUN HER!!!

  12. Yeah what Rosie said!

  13. On a better note I went and saw Leon Russell in concert and got a t-shirt autographed by him. It was teh awesome!

  14. Rosetta, did you see P.J. O’Ourke’s latest at The Standard? I linked it yesterday, but you were watching Avatar and huffing spray paint.

    (It’s about writing pre-death obituaries. HA!)

  15. I like the Bald Head vs Johnny Cash rating system. It can be used for a number of things.

    For example, I give Rahm Emmanuel 4 Johhny Cash’s for simply being who he is.

  16. Rosetta I hope that you got the epic poem I wrote for you in your email.

  17. Live video of BP cutting the riser: http://bit.ly/cfUeKU

    (cue Tim Allen Tool-time grunt)

  18. Rosetta, did you see P.J. O’Ourke’s latest at The Standard? I linked it yesterday, but you were watching Avatar and huffing spray paint.

    I missed it. Please re-link, Mork from O’Ourke.

  19. I like the Bald Head vs Johnny Cash rating system. It can be used for a number of things.

    Yes, it definitely helps to be able to go past zero when down-rating. Zero Bald Heads has to cover way too much ground otherwise.

  20. Rosetta, what color assless chaps are you wearing right now?

  21. Hey, baldy:

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/not-dead-yet

  22. MIL bought the DVD for ‘us’. She really liked it.

    I amused myself through all the battle scenes by screaming “DIE EVIL HUMANS!”

    whenever the smurfs scored a hit.

  23. IB has a new band — http://i.imgur.com/BuU65.jpg

  24. Old, but excellent:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XiuZRb_4UU

  25. Dave, that 2 part review was really funny.

  26. Huh. Ogabe got rained out on Memorial Day. A lesser man might think that was some sort of a sign.

    And I’m just lesser enough to think that.

  27. Band of Brothers on Spike TV

  28. did I mention that Leon Russell was awesome!

  29. Andy, well done.

  30. I went looking for a clip from a 1987 movie, Gardens of Stone. Sadly, youtube doesn’t seem to have much except a clip of Anjelica Huston dubbed in German.

    Sad, sad movie.

  31. Sohos, I would get excited for you, but as everyone knows, I don’t know anything about musicians.

    But I am happy that you had a great time. I was hoping someone who knew who that was would say something.

  32. Did he sing, “Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone?”

    Or is that another Leon or Russell?

  33. hahahahaha Mare you are so cute. Not his song but he did sing A song for you and Back to the Island which was so incredible that me and this other woman were moved to tears.

  34. That song Back to the Islands reminds me of Counts’ Dad so I choke up for a minute

  35. choke=choked

  36. I recall that he does a pretty neat version of Over The Rainbow. I’m trying to watch on YT, but I’m scamming some pretty scant bandwidth and it’s not working that well. Maybe work better for you.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHAyeN2IDpU&feature=player_embedded

  37. Hey, baldy:

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/not-dead-yet

    Hahahaha. That’s pretty good. PJ O’Rourke is a funny son of a bitch.

  38. Thanks Cyn!

  39. Did he sing, “Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone?”

    Or is that another Leon or Russell?

    http://tinyurl.com/yz5nwr2

    http://tinyurl.com/3y4d9p

  40. That was good, mare. I’ve been a P.J. O’Rourke fan since Parliament of Whores.

  41. I got a cool offer from my Mom last night. She said she’d give me some flyer miles to attend one of the meet ups, either the CT or the Texas meet up in September or October. Is everyone going to Texas this fall as well as CT??

  42. Definite yes to CT. Probably yes to TX.

  43. Rosetta, I’m pretty close to giving you a Johnny Cash.

  44. Bill Withers is pronounced EXACTLY like Leon Russell.

  45. The fact that he’s right doesn’t mean it’s not still insulting.

    Shut your casserole hole.

  46. Rosetta, I’m pretty close to giving you a Johnny Cash.

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  47. Sohos—might there be a wedding this fall??!!??

  48. That was good, mare. I’ve been a P.J. O’Rourke fan since Parliament of Whores.

    Republican Party Reptile for me.

  49. WHO AM I? CRIES THE WARRIOR

    A lone sentry paces the walkway,
    And many tourists come to see.
    For “I am the Infantry, Queen of Battle,”
    And you can, “FOLLOW ME!”

    The OLD GUARD stands lonely vigil,
    Twenty-four hours a day.
    Through sweltering heat or freezing rain,
    While in my marble Tomb I lay.

    I am called the Unknown Soldier,
    For no one knows just who I am.
    I went ‘over there’ to fight ‘the great war’,
    When called by my Uncle Sam.

    Now in the gardens of stone, when all is quiet,
    Shadows cast by light of the moon.
    I search each headstone every night,
    Of soldiers lost too soon.

    For I was called to serve my country,
    On a far and distant shore.
    Now while others rest, my spirit roams,
    And will forever more.

    As my spirit walks the gardens,
    Row after row after row.
    Some of these names I recognize,
    And others, I just don’t know.

    Was I a farmer in Nebraska,
    Or a lumberjack in Maine?
    Did I die quickly, thru the mercy of GOD,
    Or did I agonize in pain?

    Did I lead soldiers into battle,
    Or did I follow those who led?
    To so many questions the answers I seek,
    As I walk amongst the dead.

    Who am I? Cries the warrior,
    With faded medals upon his chest,
    Who am I? Cries the warrior,
    While those in the gardens rest.

    ‘Here rests in honored glory, An American soldier, Known but to GOD.’
    These words in my Tomb cut so deep.
    And as the lonely sentry walks his post,
    The known of Arlington sleep.

    poem by Don Burch, US Army, retired.

  50. I gotta go meet some friends for a margarita I shall return

  51. Ooooh, I am so hungover today. And, um, not that this will shock anyone, but I haven’t seen Avatar and have zero intention of doing so.

  52. It looks like Mr. Mare is drunk again.

    http://tinyurl.com/26uo2ea

  53. Wait! Sohos–did you see my question?

  54. Ember, your friend Kayla has lovely bewbs.

    Did you give them a squeeze for me?

  55. Rosie–are you wearing your red, white, and blue leg warmers today with the matching skull cap? That would be awesome and so sexy!

  56. Hangover remedy–red grape juice and asprin.

  57. It looks like Mr. Mare is drunk again.
    http://tinyurl.com/26uo2ea

    hahahahahahaha….I can’t decide if I’m going to show that to him or not.

  58. Rosetta watching Avatar:

    http://tinyurl.com/29bpk4h

  59. Xbrad, her boyfriend thought it was weird enough that I was taking pictures of her bewbs. I think if I’d started squeezing them, the night would have not gone as well.

  60. *tackles Cyn, gives her a “21 gun salute”*

  61. THIS POS BLOG SAID I’M POSTING TOO QUICKLY

    4 JOHNNY CASHES TO THIS BLOG!!!!

  62. *rings dinner bell*

    http://tinyurl.com/26omcqs

  63. B-12 and other B vitamins are good for a hangover. Have a 5 Hour Energy.

  64. Rosetta filing his taxes:

    http://tinyurl.com/dku86f

  65. The best cure is greasy food, I’ve always found, so Mr. Ember and I are about to devour a very large plate of chili cheese fries. I shouldn’t have mixed tequila with my whiskey and vodka last night. It was a bad idea.

  66. *enjoys 21 gun salute, watches as Rosetta’s “Old Glory” rises proudly*

  67. Rosetta attends a Tea Party:

    http://tinyurl.com/ycvwkug

  68. Yeah, greasy good works well.

  69. What the heck is wrong with her husband.

    dude, if your wife starts getting grabby on another chicks hooters, don’t bitch about it, just grab your videocam and start rolling tape!

  70. Rosetta attends a Tea Party:

    http://tinyurl.com/ycvwkug

    Hahahahahahaha.

  71. Rosetta, 4 seconds after meeting Mare.

    http://tinyurl.com/2bjfe7k

  72. Well, at least I took bewbie pictures. Seriously, her bewbs are way bigger than I remember them being the last time I saw her.

  73. Should I have cocktails today or not?

    http://tinyurl.com/23vj9ss

  74. Sky, what are these bewb pictures that you speak of?

    Please link or I will be forced to torture you.

  75. “Should I have cocktails today or not?”

    Yes, but avoid this:

    http://tinyurl.com/nonbbx

  76. Mare 60 seconds after meeting Rosetta:

    http://tinyurl.com/2zv53s

  77. hahahahahahaha…..that picture linked above was found by googling “cats in love.”

  78. I linked it here last night while I was all hammered.

    http://tinyurl.com/2w85cp4

  79. Should I have cocktails today or not?

    Let’s ask the Oracle…

  80. Yes, but avoid this:

    http://tinyurl.com/nonbbx

    Hahahahahaha. I love that kitteh.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_qlX2BFbOs

  81. Some cuteness to help us forget Rosetta’s face:

    http://cuteoverload.com/2010/05/30/fennec-fox/

  82. That poon is awesome.

    hahahahaahahhahah

  83. I linked it here last night while I was all hammered.

    http://tinyurl.com/2w85cp4

    Is that your cleaver, Sky?

  84. Mine was a bootlegged copy from Finland. Does that count?

    Anyhoo, am I the only one that wished Israel had killed ALL 700 people in that flotilla?

  85. Dang, Dave, that YouTube review of Avatar was a hoot. I actually watched the whole thing.

    Someone around here should do an Avatar review. That would make a good post.

  86. “Is that your cleaver, Sky?”

    That’s my friend Kayla, who came over, got me drunk, and let me take pictures of her bewbs. Great friend.

  87. Anyhoo, am I the only one that wished Israel had killed ALL 700 people in that flotilla?

    No

  88. “Anyhoo, am I the only one that wished Israel had killed ALL 700 people in that flotilla?”

    No.

  89. Upon meeting Michael, most people have this facial expression.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6flCW2xGpw#t=0m11s

  90. Also a “No”.

  91. Peej!!! How’s my soul sista?!!

  92. “most people have this facial expression.”

    And bodily reaction.

  93. That’s my friend Kayla, who came over, got me drunk, and let me take pictures of her bewbs. Great friend.

    You have kick ass friends.

  94. And bodily reaction.

    Good point.

  95. I might not have killed all 700, but I’d have definitely sunk every vessel.

  96. This is the type of music I like to relax to. I stole this from American Digest, it was their meditation tribute for Memorial Day.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUNidekiamM&feature=player_embedded#!

  97. Time for me to run and do other things. I hope to see you retards later.

  98. “You have kick ass friends.”

    I know. And, I learned last night that her boyfriend is a conservativve, so I like him now, too.

  99. Mr. RFH grilled teh most awesome beer brats and corn on the cob. (thanks for the cooking tips)

  100. “Good point.”

    Rosetta??

    http://tinyurl.com/24w9y35

  101. Ok, I can’t put off going to the grocery store any longer.

  102. Mare, your last link is a POS.

    I have some errands to run and some around-the-house bullshit to do so I will see you bastards later.

    Mare, please meet me in the kitchen.

    http://tinyurl.com/yz86kuy

  103. Rosetta’s time would have been better spent with this film:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoQOyhB1ppk

  104. Michael, check out his reviews of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sometime when you have A LOT of time to kill. They’re long, 70-90 mins each, but very funny.

    The guy actually knows a great deal about filmmaking, which is why the reviews are informative too.

  105. Just dropping of a song for today.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7erUiV8rFw&feature=PlayList&p=454011AAF0CF5413&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=14

    The closest I could find to the original.
    (without someone thinking they needed to add their own curly-Qs to a perfectly fine song)

  106. Anyhoo, am I the only one that wished Israel had killed ALL 700 people in that flotilla?

    You are not alone.

  107. I have some things to do, so I’ll be back later today. Enjoy your barbeques and whatnot, Hostagefolks.

  108. PJ and Car in could make some big bucks — http://i.imgur.com/Zqw4g.jpg

  109. Oh, for the cat people in the room, there’s a nutritional breakdown here. I’m going to start mine on a lower carb diet to see if I can’t thin them down a bit and correct the diabetes I think my maine coon has.

  110. Thanks Dave.

    That guy reminds me that I’ve been neglecting to visit Don Mills at http://crabbyoldfart.wordpress.com/ as often as I should. He regularly cracks me up.

  111. Memorial Day poat up, but keep commenting here.

  112. PJ and Car in Sohos could make some big bucks

    http://tinyurl.com/24jqmon

  113. >> Memorial Day poat up, but keep commenting here.

    but I can’t see anything.

  114. Um PJ, not the best idea…

    http://imgur.com/3O24U?full

  115. Has anyone seen Prince of Persia?

    Was it any good? Fun? Good action?

  116. France is such an awesome place — http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=078_1275256429

  117. Hah. Mesa, check your email.

  118. It’s quiet. Too quiet.

    /Shrek

  119. *war drums off in the distance

  120. My country ribs are roasting now. Should be ready in time for dinner.

  121. *Very quietly sneaks up behind Cyn.*

    BOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  122. hahaha, I always get a kick out of that song cyn.

    I’m sad I’ll be missing you guys in June. :(

    You sure you don’t want to watch my kids while we party cyn?

  123. I’m back from Greenfield Village. It was Civil War Remembrance days.

  124. Hellllooooo Ladies!

  125. Maybe she had a bee on her.

  126. >> I’m back from Greenfield Village. It was Civil War Remembrance days.

    I don’t recall Lee making it that far.

    I miss somthin?

  127. *throws hands up in the air*

    AHHHGGG!

    *unconsciously maneuvers into roundhouse kick at CB’s shin*

    Oh, hi-ee!!

  128. PJM, maybe I can sweet talk Mr. Cyn into watching all our kids that night…! Hey; I might be onto something there!

  129. Brew!!

    http://tinyurl.com/237wecz

  130. >> I’m back from Greenfield Village. It was Civil War Remembrance days.
    I don’t recall Lee making it that far

    Oh, it’s just awesome Dave. Reenactors from all over come. They actually camp there all weekend. See here.

  131. that’s a great idea cyn!!! SUCKER HIM INTO IT!! my kids aren’t totally atrocious

    for those who didn’t get to see the guy graham and I and family met yesterday. He surived the Bataan Death March

    http://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/picture-019.jpg

    http://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/picture-013.jpg

    http://thehostages.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/picture-015.jpg

  132. graham told me that some old lady got in his face with her finger and said, shame on you, shame on all of you and humanity

    graham said the guy just looked at her

  133. the reenactments are fun carin. I went to one in Florida. Got a kick out of it.

  134. I’m all alone
    all by myself
    there is no one here beside me
    im all alone
    quite, all alone
    no one to comfort me or guide me
    why is there no one here with me
    on the long and winding road
    to lift my heavy load
    if there were someone here with me
    how happy i would be
    but im alone
    quite all alone
    all by myself im all alone

  135. nag nag nag

  136. Afternoon again, Hostagefolkses.

  137. I’m not going to let my spouse watch any children.

    He’s been working on their bikes up here in Payson and got Jack’s done. There’s a big assed hill to get up to mom’s house, but there is a little cul-de-sac just off her driveway.

    I go outside to see that Jack is headed down the hill and I ask Mr. Cyn, “is he going down the hill??!!”. Mr. Cyn says, “Yes, I’ll be able to hear him scream if he falls.” I reply that I’d rather not hear any screams at all.

    So I go inside, shaking my head all the while, and my mom tells me that Mr. Cyn had told her a few minutes ago that both the bikes probably needed new brakes.

    o_O

  138. How’s your head Sky?

    *refrains from yelling

  139. Better now than it was this morning, DinT. I was definitely not at the top of my game this morning. Tequila + whiskey + flavored vodka = very nasty hangover.

  140. well, yeah. Welcome back to the land of the living.

  141. Thanks. The promise of steak and twice baked potatoes is helping me cope. Yum.

  142. Those have welcomed me back, for lo these many years.

    Enjoy good healing.

  143. Ember Jr.’s happy about it, too, because she’s been getting her way all day long, since neither Mr. Ember nor I feel like having the inevitable argument whilst hungover.

  144. I never ever heard of a baby daughter who totally got her way.

    That’s just crazy talk, that’s all that is.

  145. Yeah, she’s not spoiled rotten or nothin’. Heh. She normally does not, however, get to watch movies all day long. I think I’ve seen The Land Before Time 6 times today.

  146. How’s work, Dave?

    http://tinyurl.com/2dyhftb

  147. I never ever heard of a baby daughter who totally got her way.

    mwahahahahaha

    My daughter is my mother’s revenge, I swear.

  148. “My daughter is my mother’s revenge, I swear.”

    My mother’s favorite curse upon me was always to say, “I hope when you grow up, you have a daughter.”

  149. >> How’s work, Dave?

    It’s raring up to meet me tomorrow. How come you aren’t making me meelyuns of dollars before I die? You suck.

    RFH. Daughters are.. complicated. Yep.

  150. Chores done: Laundry dried, folded, and put away, Water bottles filled, Kitchen rug shaken out and outside to freshen up. Watermelon cut and served to all who would enjoy.

    Ahhh, back outside on the deck. All I’m missing is a cocktail.

  151. I prayed kinda hard not to have any daughters. I ‘membered what I was like!

  152. “I prayed kinda hard not to have any daughters. I ‘membered what I was like!”

    Yeah. I was a bloody awful teenager. How my mother didn’t kill me is one of the great mysteries.

  153. I like the header.

    (read that carefully)

  154. How my mother didn’t kill me is one of the great mysteries.

    HAHA! I’m in the same boat :-)

  155. all you daughters have tested me in fire.

    goddamned fire.

  156. Apparently, I’ve got to go to the store. We need stuff for the salad. By we, I mean me, because Mr. Ember doesn’t like salad and doesn’t understand my insistence on adding tomatoes and peppers and onions and raddishes and carrots to a bowl full of lettuce.

    Sigh.

    BBS.

  157. My daughter is mostly a delight. She is really a sweet kid. Not a mean bone in her body.
    She takes after her dad.

    *not going to mention the tantrums, due to frustration of not being able to vocalize what her problem was, at the age of 3*

  158. Dennis Miller: thank god Jim Morrison isn’t still alive screaming “ride-share the snake” at eco-concerts.

  159. ‘Sup, peeples. . . and Rosetta?

  160. Is this racist?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqsDRQJesMI

  161. Salad, BBQ Chicken, fresh roma tomatos, and steamed yukon gold taters for dinner in T minus 4 hours.

  162. I would propose that “Nigga Moments” are ahead of F.E.M.A.

  163. There is no pie. I repeat: There is NO pie.

  164. Maybe the moment comes when you’re asked to believe that those two knuckleheads were that close together and didn’t injure each other or anyone around them?

  165. Is this racist?

    Not according to Bill Maher.

  166. Test

  167. Did anyone else get their comments eaten?

  168. No, but somebody ate my grits this morning!

  169. Nope.

    Hahahahaha … the blog hates xbrad!

  170. You’re in Pennsylvania, you should have had hash browns.

  171. Read this:

    http://tinyurl.com/24ksc3j

  172. I am now officially the “Double Crown Champion of the World” in air hockey! Now, off to photograph the boys on the bikes that daddy has limped back together. They’ll be riding on no hills so I don’t have any heart attacks. The boys say, Mo-o-o-o-m!! I say, less blood to clean. Later!

  173. If you have boys, you have blood and broken bones. It’s what makes them boys.

  174. The boys say, Mo-o-o-o-m!! I say, less blood to clean. Later!

    There wasn’t much blood when I broke my wrist on my bike. At least, not until the surgery and the pin they put in…

  175. My oldest broke the same permanent front tooth I did. I guess it is now a “Family characteristic.

  176. Read this:

    Wow.

  177. No, but somebody ate my grits this morning!

    Is that code?

  178. Yea, Civil War reenactment stuff. they don’t try to reenact any battles. They do a lot of demonstrations. Camp life. Relics. Tactical displays.

    Memorial day was original in memorial of the Civil War, so that’s the tie-in. They had a really nice recognition ceremony today at noon – had all current and retired military take the field. Poems were read. It was nice.

  179. When is “Justified” on, and what day? Now that I’m completely devoid of television shows – I need to find something to watch.

  180. Headline of the year: “Air Force pounds MILF lairs with rockets”

    http://bit.ly/coiGer

  181. Hoarders Marathon. If you hosefuckers aren’t gonna entertain me, what option do I have?

  182. Carin – Would you like me to dance for you?

  183. From the “Duh” department: http://yhoo.it/boav4e

  184. Ok.

    Keep your clothes on, though.

  185. We spent way too long at the store, and have changed our dinner plans as a result. Saving steak for tomorrow. Tonight, we’re having chicken casear wraps with corn on the cob. Exciting stuff.

    Also, I bought stuff to make a cherry pie. Wish me luck.

  186. >>>My country ribs are roasting now. Should be ready in time for dinner.

    I’ve been BBQing ribs all afternoon. Should be about ready. We got about ten pounds of ribs for me, Cathy, and the neighbor lady whose husband is out of town.

  187. The robots ‘gettin’ busy’ at the wellhead.
    One holding pipes while another saws at them with a circular-saw.

  188. I was gonna make ribs today. But – was gone, so no 4+ for teh cooking.

    I had sushi. Everyone else had brats.

  189. me, Cathy, and the neighbor lady whose husband is out of town.

    Bomp-chicka-bow-wow

  190. BLACKHAWKS!!!

  191. FLYERS!!!

  192. Thanks for the heads-up ChrisP. I was watching on and off all day as they prepped the saw, etc.

    I don’t understand why they can’t just plug the damn hole.

  193. Hoarders Marathon. If you hosefuckers aren’t gonna entertain me, what option do I have?

    I put up two new poats today, Car In. It isn’t like I’ll bleed for you…at least not intentionally.

  194. Well we all need someone we can lean on. . .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCamHEA64uo

  195. Bomp-chicka-bow-wow

    Not really. She’s Lutheran. We gave her a ride to church yesterday.

  196. “Not really. She’s Lutheran. We gave her a ride to church yesterday.”

    So, if she were, say, Catholic, you’d bang’er?

  197. Grilled bleau cheeseburgers, baked beans, cherry pie.

  198. So, if she were, say, Catholic, you’d bang’er?

    I prefer a nice heathen girl, IYKWIMAITYD!

  199. I prefer a nice heathen girl, IYKWIMAITYD!

    I do. That way, only one of us ends up feeling guilty.

  200. “I don’t understand why they can’t just plug the damn hole.”

    Bend a pipe until it breaks and then try to plug it.
    Report back.

  201. Saw you went to Greenfield Village. Mr. RFH and I were depressed the last time we went – too many things in the museum that we grew up with. “Hey, I had one of those!”

  202. I opened up several cans of awesome this weekend and got about a months worth of chores done.

    On a sad note I shorted out all of the lights on my trailer and the buyer is picking it up on Wednesday. Hopefully its just a fuse.

  203. I still have another day off (sort of), as I don’t have childcare tomorrow, so I am staying home and making sure that the boys don’t set anything on fire…like themselves.

  204. Tongue-in-cheek, Scott. Captain Bullshit couldn’t plug it if it were on dry land, perfectly circular and cleanly threaded.

    Watching the video feed I keep having the thought that what they’re doing is like trying to thread a needle with chopsticks while riding a horse.

  205. Hola Hostages!

  206. Oooh … I am glad to see they finally got smart and flipped the saw over. A part of the housing was hitting a collar on the wellhead and leaving them needing (guessing) about a half-inch more diameter on the blade.

  207. BTW, the BP video feed is here: http://bit.ly/cfUeKU

  208. Why you be talkin’ about my left wing frenzes like dat?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtr_f1zZbTo&feature=channel

  209. ‘Sup, you red-bagging teanecks?

  210. I get to work tomorrow. Yea!
    I have worked 5 days this month, not consecutively.
    I sold a gold coin and 10 oz of silver coins to pay my bills this month.

    Next are the Kimbers and the AR’s

  211. Newsflash: New Obama family interview debuts here at H2 first!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdtIQC4yItc&feature=related

  212. Andy,
    Yuppers! I wanted to reach out and slap the guy running the saw. He couldn’t reach the inner wall of the pipe because the motor-housing was against the flange. It took forever for him to get to the “DUH!” point and turn the saw over. Frustrating watching that. It’s almost like they’ve never used tools, but you know that’s not true.

  213. Status update:
    Finally got the presentations done as much as I can, sent them out to my co-authors.
    Laundry still in progress.
    Still trying to figure out who the hell I’m voting for tomorrow. Cuffy!!!!

  214. Hi Sean!

  215. Why is it Tuesday morning here?

  216. Hey, Vmax. How are the pups doing?

  217. Yes What the heck time is it? 9am? I am late for work!

  218. Laundry is a never-ending punishment. I view it as a tax on living in a modern society.

  219. Scott – I think we are on Guamanian time!

  220. Did we move in with Americano?

  221. Anyone watch Pawn stars on History channel?
    I thought it would be lame but it is very good!

    Not Porn stars Xbad

  222. New poat up for those still standing. If you’re sitting, use your best judgement.

  223. No MCPO,
    Washing dishes is the endless chore.

  224. It was correct when MCPO commented at 7:29 PM. BIW commented next at 7:33 AM.

    BIW is from the future!

  225. Cuffy.
    I just saw your name on the history channel “America, the history of us”

    Did you or your dad comment there?

  226. >> Also, I bought stuff to make a cherry pie. Wish me luck.

    luck

  227. Memorial weekend is over for me. Did some updates to the tribute slideshow I made of my dad’s life. (Fuck you youtube for rejecting it because it lasts 12 minutes.)

    Anyway, I’m reading US hisory, listening to classical music, and have consumed copious amounts of wine.

    Happy Memorial Day, fine people.

  228. On teevee, vmax?


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