Cupholders

. . Don’t forget to clean up after yerselves.

Worst names for your significant other’s junk.

Let’s see what you go on this lazy Sunday afternoon. Whether they’re packing an apple-headed ass-wedge or a bearded muffin, I’m sure you’ve all got some special name for what’s stored in your partner’s swimsuit area. Nows the time to share with the group.  It’s the only way you’ll ever get better.   Trust us.

Survey Says? Seriously…STFU.

Here’s a picture of a guy that’s smarter than you. * Here’s a picture of a douche who says that he’s your buddy but then talks shit about you behind your back. * Here’s a picture of a motherfucker who deigns to explain the reality of our political world to you because, between not reading [...]

Poetry, Hostage style

IN THE BEGINNING (Swamp Heathen Version) In the beginning, the Earth was void, and there was darkness upon the deep. So GOD made Adam, gave him a hammock, and Adam took his ass to sleep. Then GOD said, “ADAM, WAKE YOUR ASS UP!” “YOU’RE LIVING MUCH TOO WELL.” Adam should have been praying, but in his [...]

Entrepooneurs

After Mesa moved down to Texas and started a new business with The Count, that gave Rosetta and Wiserbud (and their silent mute and ar-tarded partner, Wiser) an idea… Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake that there are no workplace injuries. Update (“Known as ‘The Rat’”): [UPDATE: Rosetta] The Hostages join the army, day 1.

Friday Night Fights

Nice hair Ziggy! Uplifting tune by a guy who blessed with immense talent – go figure. Harry didn’t get this fucking down!! Can’t we all be happy on the weekend? For you working folks. Hope it’s a great one for you!

Big Boob Friday™

Hello douche-funnel.  Welcome to Big Boob Friday.  As you know, Obama was TOTALLY BUSTING HIS ASS trying to re-create the jobs in his first year that Bush had given to Halliburton or something.  Don’t believe me?  Just look at this guy doing everything in his power to create a job for you, you fucking mouth-breathing [...]

While we’re waiting for BBF….

Perhaps you’d like to see what else BBF stands for, according to wikipedia?

Hah! Beat This! (No, Not That Type of “Beating.” Cut That Out, Rosetta! Not In Public!)

All of you, kindly refrain from speaking, forsooth! Or: Shut The Fornication Up, y’all! Behold: Plastic Water! (Trust the Japanese to come up with something like that.)

I might as well get in on the new poats

LUGONAVE ISLAND, Haiti (Jan. 27, 2010) An HH-60H Sea Hawk helicopter assigned to Helicopter Anti-Submarine Squadron (HS) 7, brings Sailors ashore from the amphibious dock landing ship USS Fort McHenry (LSD 43) to conduct repairs to a damaged roof on LuGonave Island, Haiti. Fort McHenry is participating in Operation Unified Response to provide humanitarian assistance [...]