You’d think that since I’m unemployed that Monday’s wouldn’t be so bad. You’d think.
Sadly, no. Life sucks just as much, and the pay is much worse.
As bad as I have it, some folks, like MCPO, have it much worse…
It’s enough to drive a man (or woman even) to drink…
Now, I know Mesa is all about the Stoopid. Hell, even you retards know that. Me, I’m all about quality. Nothing like sipping a fine adult beverage while reading the wit and wisdom that is the Hostages…In fact, there so much wisdom here. I’m turning this place into a book club. Here’s your first assignment:
Rosetta?
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That’s right bitches. I’m the man.
First??????????
I hate you
Really, sohos? Cuz luv you……
That did not take you very long
i was kidding
I wasn’t. Did I ever show you the naughty Alice in Wonderland picture I found when looking for, well, stuff?
KKA was bitching that I needed to put one up. So I did. And then she bails on us.
This is quite possibly the gayest thread of all time.
Things are very different in Old Mexico — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_dMM4-1jUE
I, Faggot by Isaac Asimov
muuuuch better. Still not sure how I triple posted on that last thread.
I’d have to shoot her — http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1828047
comments are down again at AoS
Sounds like a car alarm
bitch gotta go
I’d hit it.
link the pic xbrad
Mesa – And stuff a plasma grenade down her throat.
NSFW.
http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/?attachment_id=1843
Some folks will like this one a little better.
Crap
http://xbradtc.wordpress.com/?attachment_id=1163
Linking your own blog FAIL!!!11!!!
heh
gave me nada
xbradponders his fail
is it this????
http://fc00.deviantart.com/fs12/f/2006/319/5/b/Alice_in_Wonderland_by_hop2pop.jpg
STRIKE TWO
SoHoS- Is that vodka in that slushie??
Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s just sick xbrad.
NEVER Vodka
Alice @ 12 sweet.
Hey, I told you it was naughty. Maybe SHE had been drinking vodka…
This is not a porn blog.
At least it’s not tentacle porn.
lets just forget we ever saw those good god
Hey! Why did mine get yanked and not xbrads? I demand satisfaction!
Xbrad!
Also, it’s appaling that i can’t find any nude cinderella pics, what’s this world coming to?
forged, click on it.
OK, I deleted the naughty bits.
hahaha, but the child snuffin the clowns is ok,,,, gotcha
poor alice she is MUCH too innocent to be represented that way
Haha, i blame xbrad for corrupting my innocence.
yeah me too, I blame Xbrad also. and KKA, and , and, and you get the idea
Mickey gets what’s comin’ to him.
Me?
I blame Mare.
**Shakes rubberdoll at sky**
MMAAARRRRRREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My nightly Max Pic. He is bored with the camera taken after Christmas with my new camera!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vmaximus/3439816781/
I hate Obama
sheesh, even solitare is kickin my butt tonight.
Vmax I need to get some pictures of this chocolate lab puppy up. She grows daily. She is so cute but what a mess.
Have yall talked about him bowing to King Abdulla(whatever his name is)?
Bring her to me Sohos. I will take her pic and give you bunches that you can print.
Or I will visit you someday and take pics too.
What is her name sOhOs?
Always enjoy your Max shots Vmax.
you can always come see me. Her name is Hershey Pie. She is 9 weeks old. she is so beautiful.
She is Counts Moms’ puppy.
Just run over there and take some pics!
Oh.
No naked cinderellas and no naked fox news babes, very disappointing.
forged, you need to turn your safe search off dude, yaknow?
It has been 3 weeks since Max died. I have contacted the Mid Florida Golden Retriever Rescue. 2 weeks ago. They suck donkey balls. yes you heard me kiss my ass you bitches!
I have not heard from them.
I expect it by next Wed. Not this wed.
If I cannot get a Golden from http://www.grrmf.org/adopt/index.html
I will get one from http://www.mid-floridaretrieverrescue.org/
They have all retrievers and are cheaper than grrmf.org
Grrmfckma
9 weeks!
I love puppy breath!
Kiss me Puppy’s !!!!!
Max was a fine dog (I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed the video of him eating an orange) but I think you really need one of these next:
http://tinyurl.com/2krq23
Sorry Xbrad,
I want to adopt Sonny
http://www.grrmf.org/adopt/sonny/sonny.html
I love these little guys
http://www.pupcity.com/images/adpics/06267132616647_1.jpg
80s movies carried over from the *good* post
Last Starfighter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hfEB3xiSpw
I hope you get Sonny
http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=12812529
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2009/04/13/caption-this-phillies-cat-aint-happy/
Sox is a Phillies Phan?
Looks like someone likes your choice V.
oh vmax she is sooooo sweet
Good Night all
5:30 am is early
night vmax
PA, I still love that movie.
Where is Teafran
He has not been here or a while
nite Vmax
I am going to sleep too. Good night all
nite sohos
Night, Sohos and Vmax and everybody else. I’m going to read my book since that’s what I’m doing anyhow.
nite justin
What the hell did I miss when I went on my non-date?
Just the usual crying and drooling, Folly.
Oh, pretty much the same night I had.
NIte, whoever is around. I’ll talk about why I’ll end up the crazy old cat lady tomorrow.
heh, a little droolin here but no crying
nite Folly
Oh, I cried. Just a little.
That was you crying b-rad? I thought cats were mating outside my window.
Or touched myself. Same thing.
i’m out too, nite all
Good lord, don’t leave me here alone with PJ!
heh
You know how you rebel against your parents and set off on your own, and then realize when you turn 30 that you’ve become your parents? That’s kind of like this thread and IB.
geoff, I’ve never claimed to be funneh. Stupid, sure, and that has its own comedic value, but never funneh.
I don’t know why, but the word dour springs to mind.
I’m not even sure what it means, but I think it fits.
I guess after dank, one gets dour.
Am I dright or am I dright?
pretty much
no
PJ, what have YOU done lately to bring funneh to our happy little group?
I agree with cookie monster
Heard this last night, pretty good. Combine them with Lady Gaga and it seems like the 80′s are kind of coming back.
Course, it’s kind of a ripoff of this, which was kind of a ripoff of this.
Your myspace vid link no work.
And this ripped all of them off and is currently the most watched vid on youtube
it’s not my job to be funny. I have big boobs.
sure it does
it’s not my job to be funny. I have big boobs.
I’m gonna have to go with that. Big boobs trump everything.
I knew a girl in jr. high who had boobs so big she looked like she should be in college, but she was only 13 or 14 at the time i guess.
I knew a girl in jr. high who had boobs so big she looked like she should be in college, but she was only 13 or 14 at the time i guess.
She was probably a Narc.
Yeah, she’s got a point…
No, no, no, you guys are supposed to tell me the comment was funny, not agree.
Forged:
was she also sporting that awesome femstache?
No, no, no, you guys are supposed to tell me the comment was funny, not agree.
The comment was funny. We don’t agree. All praise the boobs.
Look, PJ, you’re the one that brought your boobs into this. Don’t make me dig up “serving wench” photos…
Big boobs trump everything.
Geoff’s favorite magazine?
Why you got to be like that? Now I need a neural scrub.
are you going to tell me you have serving wench photo bookmarked? there’s no cleavage in that photo……plus, it was BTT (before tummy tuck)
She was probably a Narc.
Haha, i actually thought that at the time.
Forged:
was she also sporting that awesome femstache?
Dude, if i had my yearbook out right now i’d upload this pic of my best friends girlfriend who had the thickest femstache you’ve ever seen.
what is a femstache?……..er, let’s put it this way, is it actually on a woman’s face?
forged:
If you do that, every guy on this site will be vying for Jewstin’s “token cool gay guy” role.
Just a warning.
what’s a femstache?
PJM:
Yes, we are talking about the moustahce some women grow.
Don’t you have some embarrassing Renaissance Faire photos to hide?
is it like femburns?
Burt:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=femstache
Ugh
http://www.twirlit.com/2009/04/13/josh-and-anna-duggar-pregnant/
Bookmarked? Oh, no my dear. I have it downloaded to my PC. Remember, once a photo hits the internet, it exists forever…
Don’t you have some embarrassing Renaissance Faire photos to hide?
I’m thinking it might be difficult at this point.
^heh.
Just be glad I don’t have any P-shop skills, PJ…
How do you guys go from talking about some poor junior high girl’s gigantic boobs, to asking whether she has a femstache? I’m not understanding the connection here.
Just be glad I don’t have any P-shop skills, PJ…
That would be so sweet if you did……..just take a little off the sides here, fade out my femstache, cover the grey…………
^because when young lasses are about 12 or 13, they still have issues with their personal appearance from time to time.
It was really bad in my Catholic school, since I had a bunch of Italian girls in my class.
*shivers from the memories*
for that matter, some boys grow those weird mustaches as well at that age.
And yet, at 34, I still have trouble getting facial hair.
what’s a femstache?
You’re really an ar-tard, burl.
I’ll give you some ear and nose hair, eddie, maybe my can use that…
…maybe YOU can use that.
Shit. I’m just having a rough night all around…
One of eddiebear’s classmates?
was that Lindsay Lohan?
Sean:
I received a “forbidden” message.
Damn.
Oh well, get screwed, yalls.
night.
eddiebear’s prom date?
Sean, did I really read that right? There’s a site for girls with hairy arms?
That’s not quite Rule 34, but it is close.
I just found it on Google.
Sure you did, Sean. Sure.
PJ’s been pretty quite since the femstache convo came up…
What did I miss?
I cannot sleep and am up at 2f***in 30 am
Hi Sean, Hi Xbrad. Goodnight Eddie!
Hey, Vmax. Have you tried smack? That usually has me nodding off after only a few minutes.
You need to try a much larger injection of smack, Sean. Much, much larger. Nope, a little more. Keep going….
Hi PJM
What are you doing up this late?
Yeah you are on west coast time
and Sean and Xbrad
bite me!
Or not
No smack just vodka Sean
Give me some funneh so i can start the summary or tomorrow!
V
You need to try a much larger injection of smack, Sean. Much, much larger. Nope, a little more. Keep going….
MOM!!! BRAD’S TRYING TO MAKE ME OD!!!
Give me some funneh so i can start the summary or tomorrow!
What, you think I can just turn it on and off?
My Boss said no overtime but I am going on vacation on Wed. Can you work 3 or 4 hours over till wednesday? then you can take Friday off. So I worked till 9 pm tonight. Then i got home and the ex left 3 messages on my phone. Can you help me with my taxes????????????
and she did not even feed me.
Another 12 hour day tomorrow, and I get all of friday off.
Where is the funney? I can start the summary tonight. ?????
oops
Sorry 2 much 2 drink
Hiccup
Where is the funney?
Always in the last place you look for it. Oh, wait, that’s car keys.
Hiccup!
You are right Sean
Tomorrow I will read this and laugh my ass off\
and put it in the summary
so wow me with your funneh. or not.
.
.
.
Hiccup!
Tomorrow I will read this and laugh my ass off
I highly doubt that.
Or not Bart
Thanks for putting a bunch of my jokes in The Summary so often, Vmax. I’m glad Rosie isn’t the only one who thinks I have teh funneh.
Yeah, I kinda gotta go with Bart, this one time…
Sean you have a very dry, and sharp humor.
Bart,
I lived in the combat zone, and back bay.
I lurves Beantown. When I was there a plane slid off the runway in to the bay. It had 155 people on it. They found 220 bods in the bay
I lurves Boston
Xbrad
you are funneh too.
there is no more Combat Zone, V
I am about to pass out
4 more shots of val-u-rite
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
it is 3 am eastern
See you at 6 or 8 when I get to work for another 12 hours.
V
Really Bart?
No Combat zone?
Boston was the first city that I ever saw that china town street signs were in Chinese!
When I was there a plane slid off the runway in to the bay. It had 155 people on it. They found 220 bods in the bay
I have an alibi.
See, now we know Vmax is drunk, calling me teh funneh.
yeah, I think they cleaned it up and no one even refers to Washington St area? as the Combat Zone, anymore.
That was in the early 80′s
I lived in Concord NH then
See, now we know Vmax is drunk, calling me teh funneh.
Are you sure he hasn’t had a stroke?
In march 1981 I flew from Tampa to Boston. The lady I was sitting next to on the plane said that the bus did not run from Logan to the bus station. She gave me a ride to the greyhound station. I hopped on the bus and rode to NH. There was snow on the ground in March. I had never seen snow before. New England is strange. I do like Providence.
I have seen the Boston Marathon. The cops ride motorcycles, and backfire the bikes at will. The bangs scare people along the route back to the curb.
Providence was OK, but Newport in the summer was pretty damn nice. Too bad I was at the Naval Station and not in one of the “summer homes”
Nothing I said ^ above made since. Sorry.
Yes Xbrad
The mansions along the beech in New Port were awesome!
Nothing I said ^ above made since. Sorry.
That didn’t make “since,” either. But that’s okay. Since is overrated.
Well
I is 3:20 AM
I am drunk an have to go work at 6am.
Good night my fake internet friends
or just friends
or viruses
I hear the mansions in New Poat are pretty awesome, too.
Sean,
Newport was where the Old Money spent their summers. Some of the “cottages” have to be seen to be believed. Most of them have tours, so us poor folk can see how the other half live…
Thanks for schooling me on something everybody knows, xpoat.
I bet Martha’s Poatyard is a pretty expensive neighborhood, too.
Sean, I figured as a native Californian, you had no insight into Newport. I’m sorry I judged you that way. I should have judged you by the usual California standards, your looks and your income.
I should have judged you by the usual California standards, your looks and your income.
Wait, you didn’t judge me by those standards? Even though you know I’m poor and only non-surgically-enhanced handsome?
*wipes away single tear*
Thank you, man. Thank you.
It’s like one of those movies where in spite of all the odds, the guy and the girl from different social classes get together, except that we’re both dudes. And neither of us has any money. And nobody in those movies ends up getting punched in the dick, so far as I can remember.
(Did Molly Ringwald get punched in the dick at the end of “Sixteen Candles”? I haven’t seen that one in a while…)
I’d actually like to believe that there’s a Bizarro World in which Molly Ringwald gets punched in the dick at the end of that movie. And by “Molly Ringwald,” I mean xbrad, of course.
Naturally, Long Duck Dong would also be involved somehow.
Comment by Sean M. on April 14, 2009 5:00 am
I should have judged you by the usual California standards, your looks and your income.
Wait, you didn’t judge me by those standards? Even though you know I’m poor and only non-surgically-enhanced handsome?
*wipes away single tear*
Thank you, man. Thank you.
We have been working on the Pathological Liar aspect of his personality. Thus far, an abject failure……
Comment by Vmaximus on April 14, 2009 3:19 am
Nothing I said ^ above made since. Sorry.
Yeah, Vmax, you should apologize. Especially since everyone else has had comments that rival Aristotle, Plato, and Tolstoy……
I have skimmed through The Smoking Gun website, and not found details of Miss Folly’s “date”. Reckon she was pulling our leg on this? Catz is curious that way…..
Comment by xbradtc on April 14, 2009 2:20 am
Sean, did I really read that right? There’s a site for girls with hairy arms?
That’s not quite Rule 34, but it is close.
Don’t worry about Rule 34. Miss Tat will Waterboard Rule 34 shortly, have it broken, debased, and abused, and shall self cancel by noon at the latest. She is Cool like that….
*Note to self, do not drink shots of vodka after 3am*
*How the hell did I get to work?*
Coffee
Coffee!!!!
Damn this deadline!
Miss Tat will Waterboard Rule 34 shortly,
Ohh,ohhh, I get to torture something? Really? Show me where it’s at, and I will make it sing!
I have some pent-up aggression/frustration :shrug:
Hey could one of you bastards make me independently wealthy? I really don’t feel like working/job hunting anymore.
Sohos, after Count is 2 minutes late with her medicines:
http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/37000/Alice-in-Wonderland-37128.jpg
I will send you a powerball Tattoo.
If you win you need to remember me though.
Seen anything funny? I am 1/2 way through the posts and have not laughed yet. Snickered a few times.
Ummm, I don’t know how to break this to you Vmax, but I don’t usually read the posts. I might skim but my attn span’s too short
And of course I would remember the little people.
My non-date with the non-boyfriend consisted of a romantic dinner that he made, lots of wine and absolutely NO GODDAMN SEX, KISSING, FONDLING, or anything else that could be remotely construed as intimacy. I did something I never do which is drive the 10 miles back to my house completely freakin’ drunk.
And I suspect that once his time here is up, he’ll be on his merry way without so much as a backward glance. He all but said that last night.
Hahahaha. Vmax woke up drunk!!
Shit, I killed the thread. Sorry.
Folly,
Have you considered, uhm, ‘taking matters into your own hands’?
And by ‘matters’ I mean his poat.
Folly,
Have you considered, uhm, ‘taking matters into your own hands’?
And by ‘matters’ I mean his poat.
I’ve tried every manner of seduction in my arsenal. I’ve given up.
Damn, killed it again.
Recap of the Hostages April 13, 2009
10. Mare,
That Top Chef woman’s body is so gorgeous I would like to stab her in the face (I mean that in a nice way).
Leon,
Some of us menfolk were thinking the same thing.
Well, okay, we were thinking about her mouth. And stabbing an appendage you lack.
9. Bart,
I giggle when I hear radio commercials for “facials” : I read The Hostages
Rosetta, My mom uses that word and it makes me uncomfortable.
*runs to take shower*
8. Rosetta,
I did it all for the nookie. Come on! The nookie. Come on!
7. Forged,
My wife doesn’t care because she’s a blow up doll.
6. Forged,
True story, about ten years ago i saw an ad for a sex doll for one dollar in the back of some skin rag. I figured that deal was way to good to pass up so i sent off for it. About two months later i got a balloon with what i guess was supposed to be a womans face drawn on it, i shit you not.
Rosetta, So? Did you hit it or not?
5. Mare,
Rosetta, people who call me a communist, end up with the shaft of a knife protruding from the back of their neck. An interesting take on the stab to the face. (I mean that in a nice way). ( I may have edited that one, Vmax)
4. Tbom,
I’m retarded and you can go fuck a tiger.
3. Tattoo,
Alright goobers. I’m off to find either death by chocolate, or my new home in a fridge box. BBL.
2. Carin,
Tushar, I found you some smocking ants so you don’t have to even touch a needle.
You’re welcome.
1. MCPO,
See, this is what is wrong with this blog. . . too many of you people are working. I never have this problem on liberal blogs!
Hi Folly!
Sorry about your gay boyfriend.
Vmax, you are not.
but thanks.
Well if it gives me a chance that is better than 20 million to 1, It is all I can ask.
Haha. Your chances are better than 20 million to 1.
WooHoo!
Your chances are better than 20 million to 1.
I will be in my bunk
brb
Hahahahahaha.
Ya know, Vmax, that’s kinda the problem she’s having with the current boyfriend. He’s in HIS bunk. Not hers.
there is a new post up btw