As most of you know, I’m descended from a long line of limey pricks. Sure, it gives me a sense superiority, but not many people talk about the dark side of that sense of entitlement.
You see, England is close to Ireland, and the Irish have experienced some oppression and discrimination, so I also feel oppressed, if only by way of proximity. Close enough.
Way back in the 1840s there was a potato famine. The Irish (drunk, lazy, child popping bastards) who really liked french fries and tater tots, suddenly didn’t have enough to eat. Many of them got on boats, shoulder to shoulder, hoping to find a better life in America (fuck yeah).
As they arrived in New York, before they started filming Gangs of New York, they suffered a bit of discrimination from the local population. Turns out the snobs in NYC didn’t really like my sort-of-ancestors and sought to push them outside of polite society.
But even in the face of this massive discrimination, I’ll have you know that the Irish were instrumental in fighting the Civil War. If my memory serves correct, the first Union soldier killed was Crispus Attucks. I’m talking about our Civil War, not the one in merry ‘ol England. They sat that bitch out cuz…FUCK YOU CROMWELL.
So even after getting used as cannon fodder in the Civil War and fighting for rich dandies that paid $300 for a replacement, the Irish were discriminated against for decades to come. I contend that this legacy of discrimination is responsible for the disproportionate Irish crime stats, social problems, and poverty rate.
Sure, it’s been 150 years, but I can still feel the institutional discrimination now. I feel it in my bones.
In response, I call on you that are Irish, know someone who is Irish, might have some ancestors that lived near Ireland, have visited Ireland, considered visiting Ireland, have had a pint of Guinness, or have ever listened to U2, to rise up and throw off the yoke that is Irish discrimination.
Put on your Doc Marten’s and join me in a march (mostly burning and looting with free pie, pie!) to let everyone know that we won’t suffer the continued injustice of this subtle sidelining of our people.
Please bring your own gas and shillelagh so we can make our voices heard! It’ll be mostly peaceful of course.