Sunday Salsa, Witzelsucht and Inaniloquence

BiW was talking shit about his homemade salsa yesterday.  I laughed in his face because it is a scientific fact that my homemade salsa is the best in the galaxy and will kick the girly ass of his salsa.  HERE is my salsa.  HERE is BiW’s salsa.

Then, out of nowhere, it’s fucking feldspar PattyAnn shows up and tells me and BiW to shut our whore mouths because her homemade salsa will take a giant rubber fist to our salsas and make them her bitch.  Then she buried a shiv in BiW’s neck and shot me in the leg.

Hahahahahahaha.  I love that picture.  I stole it from that jackass Pupster.

So here are all three salsa recipes.  Make one, make all and enjoy.  There are few things better than fresh salsa in summer.  Sex with Heidi Klum is one of those things but that’s not as easy to get as fresh salsa.

BiW’s Salsa

A blender
9 Roma tomatoes
Fresh cilantro
Scallions
A large sweet onion (Walla Walla, Mayan or Vidalia)
2 fresh limes
Minced garlic
Cholula Sauce
 
Combine the following in a large bowl: tomatoes and onion, cut into large chunks; two bunches of scallions, sliced halfway up the stalk; the cilantro, stripped from the stalks and minced; two Tbsp. of the minced garlic.  Mix.
 
Pour the mix into the blender, a litttle at a time, and blend on pulse until you have poured the entire bowl into the blender.  Not the actual bowl, dummy.  Just the stuff in the bowl.

Cut the limes in half, squeeze the jews into the blender, spinkle with Cholula to taste and blend evenly.

You can spice it up however you like.  I have used crushed red peppers and fresh ground white pepper before.  Jalepenos and chipoltes are also recommended.
 
Let sit in fridge for at least two hours before serving.  If you store overnight, it will increase in intensity.

Nine out of ten mexican baby jesuses sat up and said "More Please!" in perfect English.

Fin.

Musical interlude.  I thought about this video the other night and started laughing so here, you laugh too.  Mesa will probably say he posted this a year or two ago but he’s full of crap.  Potato wave.

Rosetta’s Salsa

3 – 4 medium red tomatoes, cubed
1 medium yellow tomato, cubed
1 large red bell pepper - roasted, skinned* and chopped
1 medium Vidalia onion
2 - 5 minced jalepeno peppers, depending on desired heat
1 handful of fresh cilantro - remove from stalk and chop
2 1/2 Tblsp. red wine vineagar
1 Tblsp. minced garlic
3/4 Tblsp. sugar
1 Tblsp. olive oil
Juice from 1 lime

Put all that crap, in the order listed, into to a big bowl.  Mix well.  Taste and adjust to your liking if necessary.

Cover with Saran Wrap and refrigerate, overnight if possible.  Drain off excess water and enjoy with tortilla chips and 9 shots of Patrón silver tequila while listening to THIS song.

Ole’!

* To roast and skin the pepper, core and quarter it.  Put the pepper, skin up, on a cookie sheet and broil in the oven until the skin blackens.  RACIST!!!  Immediately place pepper in a ziplock bag and seal.  After 10 minutes in the ziplock, you should be able to easily pull the skin off unless you fucked something up.

You know what goes well with PattyAnn’s salsa?  Fish dog meat silk.

PattyAnn’s Salsa

1 Jalapeno
2 Tblsp. fresh lemon juice
1 tsp. garlic salt
2 Cloves garlic
4 Sprigs fresh cilantro
1 Red onion
2 Tomatoes

Chop everything until it’s the consistency you like and then mix together.  Use 1/3 of the jalapeno for mild and the whole jalapeno for hot salsa.  If you’re a crybaby, use tongs to handle the jalapeno and remove the seeds.

There you go.  Make all three and then report back on your favorite.  The two losers will be waterboarded with the winner’s salsa and then killed.

Blackbird Sunday

While posting music a few nights ago I ran into quite a few videos featuring the SR-71 So here are a few. 1st a picture

The SR-71, unofficially known as the “Blackbird,” is a long-range, advanced, strategic reconnaissance aircraft developed from the Lockheed A-12 and YF-12A aircraft. The first flight of an SR-71 took place on December 22, 1964, and the first SR-71 to enter service was delivered to the 4200th (later, 9th) Strategic Reconnaissance Wing at Beale AFB, California, in January 1966. The U.S. Air Force retired its fleet of SR-71s on January 26, 1990, because of a decreasing defense budget and high costs of operation. The USAF returned the SR-71 to the active Air Force inventory in 1995 and began flying operational missions in January 1997. Throughout its nearly 24-year career, the SR-71 remained the world’s fastest and highest-flying operational aircraft. An air-to-air front view of an SR-71A strategic reconnaissance aircraft. The SR-71 is unofficially known as the “Blackbird.” (U.S. Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. Michael Haggerty)

Happy Independence Day

I know it’s not politically correct to be a patriot anymore. May we all continue to be politically incorrect.

Thank you to our military, then and  now.

This should make all the little baby jesuses tear up.

Car Fu@#ers and Drunk Posting

how kare-kare and pajama momma celebrate the Fourth of July…we’re close……..real close

Fireworks!

Ours just ended in our little town.  Wheeee! 68 degrees on the third of July!! Global Warming is keeling us!!

I hope you all have a safe and wonderfully fun weekend. Now, let the harassment begin!

Big Boob Friday™

Good morning!  Welcome to the July 4th edition of Big Boob Friday.  Vmax, I said I wasn’t going to put this up until this afternoon but I got up early so I thought I would go ahead and post it.  Push it down later if you have something good.

REDNECK WIN SPELLING BEE FAIL!!!

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY FAIL!!!!

AMERICAN FREEDOM FAIL!!!

SPARKLERS WIN!!!

Emerson said the following:

“I esteem it a chief felicity of this country that it excels in women.”

If you like it old skool, here you go.

Your model for today hails from England which may seem an odd choice for the July 4th weekend.  However I think it’s good because our countries are like siblings.  They’re the older brother and we’re the younger brother.  Growing up, they pushed us around and gave us wedgies and made us eat dirt and stuff.  And then one day, when we got a little bigger, we beat the crap out of them in front of their girlfriend.  Ever since then, we’re cool.

She was born August 7th, 1978 which makes her an experienced 30 years old.  Some of us may or may not have seen some of that experience because she may or may not have made some instructional videos on how to insert tab A into slot B if you know what I’m saying.  I believe she needed the money for an operation for her grandma or to pay for law school or sumpin.

She’s a towering 5′3″, weighs a feathery 112 pounds and sports a 36DD-22-34 record.  She used to be 36HH-22-34 but she had breast reduction surgery in 2005, a selfish act so evil that it made all 32 of the Baby Jesuses cry.

Light a Roman candle off in your pants as you say hello to your model for today, Friday, July 3rd, 2009, Linsey Dawn McKenzie!!  YAY!!!!

Here, have some history with your bloody mary.  On this day….

* in 1841, John Couch Adams determined the position of an unknown planet by the irregularities it caused in the motion of Uranus.  Hahahahaha!  He looked at Uranus.  Uranus.

* in 1883, Czech author Franz Kafka was born.  He even looked a bit isolated and disturbed.

* in 1890, Idaho was admitted to the union as the 43rd state.  Must have been a slow year.

* in 1909, Greek billionaire shipping tycoon Stavros Spyros Niarchos was born.

* in 1925, Tony Curtis was born.  This quote is attributed to him: “I was 22 when I arrived in Hollywood in 1948.  I had more action than Mount Vesuvius; men, women, animals!  I loved it too.  I participated where I wanted to and didn’t where I didn’t.  I’ve always been open about it.” Um….huh?

* in 1930, the Veterans Administration was created.  There should be a very small list of government agencies that receive more money than the VA.

* in 1930, Pete Fountain, famed jazz clarinetist and wiserbud’s idol, was born in New Orleans.

* in 1940, Fontella Bass, who sang THIS song, was born in St. Louis.

* in 1941, ambulance-chasing attorney and human scarecrow Gloria Allred was born.  She may be the nicest person in the world but she looks and sounds like a fucking bitch.  Haha.

* in 1943, Geraldo Rivera was born.  Sometimes he bugs the crap out of me but I have a hard time disliking him.  He kind of a tool though.

* in 1956, Stephen Pearcy, the vocalist for Ratt, was born.  I distinctly remember the summer before my senior year of high school, driving around with some of my buddies with the windows rolled down cranking ”Wanted Man“.  Dude, turn it UP!!!!

* in 1957, singer Laura Branigan was born.  She died in 2004 from a brain aneurysm at the age of 47.  R.I.P. Laura Branigan.

* in 1962, weirdo Tom Cruise was born.

* in 1971, Jim Morrison of The Doors died of heart failure in Paris.

* in 1984, the Supreme Court ruled that the Jaycees must admit women as members.  What is the Jaycees, some sort of cake baking organization?

* in 1989, actor Jim Backus died of pneumonia at the age of 76.  I liked Mr. Magoo.

I hope everyone has a fantastic fourth of July weekend.  I know with the government doing its very best to bankrupt this country, addict everyone to handouts and shove its giant rubber fist up our freedom hole, it’s easy to be depressed or worried or scared.  But fight the urge.  Our founding fathers weren’t pussies in the face of uncertainly and danger nor should we be.

This country is the greatest ever conceived in the mind of man or God and no man, even one who thinks he is God, can bring it down.  There are too many of us who cherish our freedoms and liberty and not enough of them who would trade both for a wheel of government cheese.

Celebrate and have fun this weekend but remember to be thankful for the freedoms we have and the brave men that fought to give us those freedoms.

Cheers!

Have You Seen My Red, White and Blue Skort?

I look forward to President Jim Jones Barack Obama starting a new July 4th tradition of thanking the Muslim community for their substantial contributions to our great country.

Even the Chinese have contributed to our Independence Day!

If you don’t grill this weekend, you’re CROSSING THE LINE!!!!

[UPDATE]

I made this as a comment but I thought I would add it here.  Feel free to add to it as MCPO and BiW did or come up with a list of your own.

Here’s my list of ten reasons why America kicks ass.

(1) Muscle cars, past, present and future (you ain’t getting rid of those Prez Jones).

(2) Elvis Presley.

(3) More ICBMs than you can build in the next 50 years.  And ours work, Nork.

(4) Sharp shooters that will split the heads of pirates in a boat rocking on the ocean.

(5) Van Halen which kicks so much ass, there are two versions that rock. Yeah the Van Halen brothers were born in Amsterdam. What of it?

(6) You don’t need no stinking college degree to become billionaire.

(7) The fucking webtubes.

(8) If you kill someone, we’ll give you the right to a fair trail and then fucking kill you.

(9) Unless you’re in the Nancy states, you never know who’s packing heat.

(10) We respect marriage and religion but still like ourselves some porn.

(11) Our military will kill the bad guys and then feed the good guys.

This is America so I listed eleven things. Now you other countries GET US A FUCKING JUICE BOX!!!!

Coming Soon!

The blockbuster event of the year!*

*I’m too lazy to come up with my own content so I stole this from DoublePlusUndead.  Take that you hosers!

Thursday Foreignotica XI and Americana I

“Nedaa” means “sound” in Arabic and Farsi, and is the name of one of the martyrs of the Green Revolution.  Neda Agha Soltan was shot by a Basiji.  She was just standing there as people protested.  Some people have said she was on her way out.  She was a student.  For no rhyme or reason, she was shot, and died.  The video of her martyrdom has made its rounds, and Neda has become not only a symbol of the revolution but, more crucial, a symbol of the heartless oppression of the current Irani regime.

Now the phrase being thrown around is “Nedaa-ye Enghelaab,” which may mean “Neda of the Revolution” or “Sound of the Revolution”.

There’s a haunting tribute to her, entitled “Nedaa-ye Sarzamin”, which may mean “Neda of the Homeland” or “Sound of the Homeland”. 

Presenting “Neda-ye Sarzamin” by Anonymous (for obvious reasons) with transliterated Farsi and English translation.

[Length – 3:58 minutes]

Now, some stuff for A Very Important Day coming up: 

Presenting: “America the Beautiful” by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

[Length – 3:46]

 
If you are able to, please show proper respect for The National Anthem.  (I cannot hear it or sing it without tearing up.)  Please note: the flag being brought out by the athletes was flying over the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Presenting the “Star Spangled Banner” by the Utah Symphony Orchestra and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir during the opening ceremonies of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, UT

[Length – 4:33 minutes]

 
This Independence Day, be grateful indeed.  Be grateful that we have relatively free and transparent elections.  Be grateful that we can protest whenever we want – and that this is guaranteed by our Constitution – without being thrown in jail, tortured, our civil records besmirched, student dormitories raided by thugs and students hauled away and not to be heard from or about, or shot by random thugs.  Be grateful that we can listen what we want to, say what we want to – where the rabid rightwinger and radical leftwinger are both tolerated by law.  Be grateful that religious leaders stay in their churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples rather than lording above us as supreme masters, being unassailable.  Be grateful that no one is forced to say that God is Great – we say it when we mean it.  Be grateful we can cheer whomever we want, support whatever we want, and not be forced to constantly call death upon supposed enemies.  Be grateful that political opponents can coexist without plotting to overthrow or destroy the other.  Be grateful for the American spirit which is like a cool breeze wafting over people, enlivening them.

The Declaration of Independence, which we commemorate and celebrate every July 4, is as alive and valid as ever.  Let us promote its principles, and support any and all peoples struggling to throw off the yoke of dictatorship, tyranny, and oppression.  Such revolutions are almost always bloody, but as Thomas Jefferson said, “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. It is its natural manure.”

We have much to be grateful for.  The Green Revolution in Iran demonstrates this vividly.  So while we honor the Red, White, and Blue this July 4, let us go green so that we may, in some measure, offer support and assistance to others struggling to breathe free.

God Bless America: my land, your land, our land.

I’ll Never Complain About Moving to the Second Floor Ever Again.

Please, don’t let this detract from your enjoyment of HHD.  I just wanted to show this scene from outside my office window.  It was pretty thrilling to watch.  The driver and the passengers were taken away in an ambulance.  Someone said they ran someone over at the corner.

 

 

 

 

Updated:  here is a link with a better pic:  www.komonews.com/news/local/49616842.html